Tag Archives: Big Top

12th July – CSH3 – Push Back

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Rating: 6.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Push Back & Tasty Buns joined together to set their virgin harings and after 2 weeks in UK I was missing the hash and looking forward to a good one! Unfortunately, Chuckie side tracked me with “Coffee” last night, and when jetlag kicked in, I nearly overslept and missed it! Fortunately, I made it out to 11km or so down canal road to see what they had in mind…

A teutonically detailed harebrief set us off with Humps guffawing while Turkey went the wrong way out of the carpark. The first check had us guessing, and everyone guessing wrong. The hares kindly came to point us in the right direction and for a while we were back on track weaving our way through an orchard. A circle check, and we made the first of our mistakes, with trail being found higher up the road, only for us to get to a cross check from the wrong direction. After finding the false trails we promptly found ourselves back at the previous circle check with the hares waving frantically at us. So far we had run quite a bit of the run backwards, but got back on track quickly enough.

I couldn’t get anything right, and the hangover was hampering my effort. More circles, and more confusion. After a circle, we seemed to go cross country for over 100m until we got to the paper that someone was calling from up ahead. It can’t be right, but I was hot and tired. Humps bellowed that we should go back, while the rest of the pack called On On from down the hill. Neither call made much sense in the grand scheme of the run, so Chuckie and I set off in a completely different direction, with Big Top tagging along. Some people call it “Intelligent Hashing”, whatever – we intercepted the trail shortly before the final V check.

NOYB was up front, and looking fit as a fiddle (is a fiddle really fit?). Anyway, I was relieved when he went the wrong way at the last check (even though it had been kicked out), and I jogged along with CW back to the A where somehow Bow Wow and Muskrat were already waiting! Hard to accuse them of short cutting when I think everybody had their own version of the run. Pretty sure that nobody did the run as intended, but it worked very well anyway – 45 minutes! Loaves of bread greeted us next to the wine at the finish.

Humps kicked off the circle, and things were going smoothly until an unexpected storm hit and washed us away. I justifiably got the wings for my 200th run :) from the safety of my car! Then it was off to a great restaurant for dinner. I think we should get Tasty Buns to set the run more often – this was great!

21st June – CSH3 – Cool Balls

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Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Some 10km along the Sameong Road, and I was dashing to make it there on time. Just in time to collect the money, which didn’t take long, there were only 17 hashers, including 3 visitors. The lowest turn out I can remember for a CSH3. Not to worry, we would set off to see what Cool Balls had put together.

After the hare brief, he pointed UP. Straight up a mud trail / road that seemed to go on forever. Chuckie and I discussed strategy and were hoping Sloppy Rod & None of Your Business would pull their weight at the checks. One of the visitors also looked like he might be up with us – his name ‘Pleasantly Average’ apparently described his cock, but also fitted his running style – he quickly fell into a circle guarding role.

Anyway, after 500m or so of steady climbing up, we were starting to wonder if we were going to get any checks. We needed a break, and Chuckie needed to tie his shoes. Finally a Cross Check, and of course, I picked wrong. Shortly after a circle, and this time the paper was a LONG, LONG way from the check, with NOYB finally picking it after we’d given up checking along that way. Of course, it was the trail that headed UP again.

We’d gained 100m or so in elevation by this point, so NOYB checked down at the next check, while I scrambled up a steep bank towards a forest line. No OnOn call from anywhere else, but I was giving up hope when finally I spotted paper. I don’t think anyone wanted to follow me, and I heard that some short cut here. We’d gone from 382m elevation at the start to 559m elevation in 1.6km – 180 metres climb! Surely we could start our way down now?

Trail was hard to follow through the trees, and Sloppy caught me up by the next check, and sure enough we started down at last. A confusing check, as ONON calls were echoing around the valley, and the trail zig zagged down through a resort. I was left with the miserable view of Chuckie, Sloppy and NOYB racing off from way below me, and no easy way of getting down to them, without the long zig zags – even Big Top and Square Rooter were ahead!

It was hot, I was sweaty, I was tired… After 41minutes, the trail started going up again – up and in the wrong direction. I thought better of it, and when I crossed a little bridge I found Sloppy checking back towards me. A neat short cut, and shortly after I found the paper, again heading UP a ridge. I knew the trail I’d been on headed around that, so I let Chuckie lead the way up there, and intercepted Sups for some intelligent hashing. Within 30m we were back on paper, and heading back down the hill towards the A.

Finally we hit the main road, but rather than taking us along the road, the hare(s) had put us along the side of a little canal – tricky trail, but much better than the road. Back across the road, and we were close to the finish. An hour’s run. A TOUGH hour’s run. As much as I don’t like hills, this was a great set, and the hare (despite not scouting) had clearly put a lot of effort into it – too bad there wasn’t much support from the hashing community.

26th April – CSH3 – Big Top & Mr. Poo Animal Dinner AGMU

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Rating: 9.3/10 (3 votes cast)

What an epic outstation weekend – I’ve finally made it back, although my head hasn’t quite arrived yet! It began on Friday – I arrived around lunch time and Horny, Poo, HRA and Square Rooter were just heading down the road for a beer. I figured I’d join them, and 4 hours and many beers later we got back to the resort. Saturday was a slow day until run time. Songthaews took us all out to the start – well the Rambo start – the Wimps were taken 3km along the trail and set off moments later.

A good early pace as Gorf replaced Brown Finger as the FRB. We looped around some fields and headed back towards the huge mountain that overlooks Chiang Dao. We got to where the Wimps had been set off from, and for a few km the checks were all kicked out, allowing Gorf to leave us behind. The heat was devastating and running was a struggle. Finally we started wheeling in the DFLs and got to a water stop.

It was pretty much straight on, straight on towards the mountain. Pleasant views running along with Taste My Buns & Horny Monkey. A few tough checks late on and we could see Gorf ahead of us. Amazingly I was FRB for a moment, but the exertions and the heat took their toll and I was down to walking towards Poo who could be seen from about a km before the OnIn. We’d been promised a 6km run, but it was a big fat lie. 8km in deadly heat – time for the AGMU.

Big Top took charge of the circle, and promptly fired her committee, leaving her in sole command for the evening’s Animal Dinner. Back to the resort and the guys grabbed some beers and hit the pool for a couple of hours while the ladies got ready. With thunder and lightning threatening we all descended on the dining room. Excellent food, good music, and a wide array of beverages. It seems not many people had heard of Absinthe, and I ended up having t least 1 too many, along with copious amounts of gin and tonic, on top of the Leos – oh and Beer Lao too. No wonder I feel like shit!

We had to get up by 10:30 for a hangover run. I managed it just. Apparently I was supposed to co-hare it, luckily Pigshit stepped in to help Knock Out. I set off before the hare brief, and took a nap along the road. Horny dragged me to my feet and I managed to get running, behind Cougar & the Germans. Fortunately the run was only 1.1km, and I wasn’t going to do it twice! Circle time, and time for the hare of the dog. Big Top promptly quit and assigned duties to Mr. Poo who announced his new committee. I think I am on it, hopefully he’ll update the list soon!

Excellent job guys – so successful in crippling us that we didn’t even thank the hares properly in the circle for organising a great event.

6th April – CH4 – BMY & CW

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Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast)

It was the day after BMY and Big Top’s fabulous “mini” ball breaker (circa 15k = mini???) and I was looking forward to an easy, scenic hangover run through some of the beautiful countryside we are so blessed to find in abundance surrounding Chiang Mai.
Dr Byte and Chucky Whoooooooooooo had promised us something special – a live hare run to impress the many visitors who had joined us on the Sunday Happy Hash as a precursor to the celebratory 1000th CH3 run on Monday.
All through the previous week, the hares had suggested some charming hills and complementary flat trails – Chucky the supremo uphill gardener haring the hilly bits and Byte making sure we didn’t get to deploy the KY gel on the flat bits.
And so, after convincing our visitors on the songthaew they were in for a treat, it was a bit of a surprise when we arrived at the A site – a concrete shell of a house on a large dusty building site full of similarly incomplete, ghost-grey structures. Not to worry I thought, the lush green hills were only a short distance away. Surely we would be heading in that promising direction . . .?
The hare brief was suitably brief, with BMY suggesting the girls set off 10 seconds after the hares and the men a full 20 minutes after . . . mooh-ha-ha-ha! But the girls didn’t fancy the idea for some unimaginable reason and we all headed out on the chase after the obligatory five minutes had elapsed.
Belly Dancer spurted forth like a lame hippo in a tutu straight towards the main trail leading up into the hills, ignoring the paper trail the hares had set. Did he have inside info? Or had he been “misinformed” by the devious hares? Sadly it turned out to be the latter. The trail led us out into an open expanse of fields where a centrally placed circle check had us checking left towards the hills. But alas, the hares, intent on fucking over the FRBs at any cost and ensuring their own anal virginity – well at least for the purposes of this run – turned right, right back into the construction site via an un-happy-hash-like gully where I was fortunate enough to be on hand to give Itchy and Sleepsy a hand down and then a conveniently placed hand back up again – mooh-ha-ha-ha.
More grey dust trails, past more grey shell houses and over a familiar main road; and then we reached the familiar criss-cross warren of running trails used by the local fitness community. Good flat running trails. Many checks to hold us back. Lots of puffing and panting after yesterday’s “marathon”.
And then we emerged from the rabbit’s maze onto a flat, grassy field – it somehow reminded me of Newmarket race course – and back to the main, main road, where the trail led us back to the main road that we had previously crossed.
A long tarmac run; but this was Skid Mark territory and he rightly predicted the old favourite under-the-fence hole. So under we went and were thankfully off the tarmac and back on a dirt trail, the one with the familiar sneaky offshoot to the right, the one leading back to the building site and the A.
I followed the trail to the concrete fence surrounding the building site until I hit a false trail check back. So it was up and over the fence. None of Your Business found the trail on the other side and was first home, punching the air with obvious delight. There were a few stragglers but nothing to cause concern as the reliable Tip Toe was on hand to lead them on and in. Welcome back big man!
Great circle hares, but Big Top was probably right when she said that had it been any hash other than the Happy Hash, you would both have had willies over your heads for the tarmac and dust content of the run. But what do we care – this is the Happy Hash, right? Who needs willies when simple wit and humour will more than suffice?
As with most Happy Hash circles and on-ons (this time at the magnificent Sheryl’s), the magical blend of beer, good-natured splashes, fine food and welcome camaraderie, cast its spell upon us all and all thought and talk of the run eventually dispersed into a delightful alcoholic fog.
Good job hares! But I wonder what would have happened had None of Your Business caught Dr Byte before the end of the run . . . mooh-ha-ha-ha?????!!!!!
Ah, I do so love the Happy Hash!

28th December – CSH3 – Square Rooter & Co…

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Square Rooter teamed up with Brown Finger, Big Top & Toe Sucker to bring us a ‘dirty’ new year run. With so many minds working together, what on earth would they come up with?

We set off and there were no checks for a kilometer, that was straight down a road – a fast start! Then turned abruptly and started up the hill, crossing onto some familiar trails that we’d run from Ob Khan before. Up to a ridge and the trail kept turning left – how? Several checks had me foxed because I expected us to end up running into old trails, but nope the sly hares had found another way down and I fortunately got lucky as we hit the checks at the bottom of the hill. A long flat section had Graven “following” me at the checks, along with Alice who was full of inside information!

We started scrambling up into the hills again, but now the checks were getting easier – unfortunately for me Sloppy Rod & Alice hit the front, along with “Grey Ham”. I preferred to hang back with Fandango, but we all managed to come in at the same time as the walkers on their walking trail. Except when I say “All”, I lie – as one visiting hasher didn’t make it back to the A. With the GM & hares exploring the hills in the dark, the circle was tough. Turns out the hasher was already back at the hash pub drinking beer.

All in all, a great run with plenty of challenge and a good warm up for next week’s ball breaker!

8th December – CH4 – Big Top

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Big Top had been scouting this run with much effort for a few weeks, and she’d chosen one of “my” areas out in Maejo. I love that area – and I’ve set a bunch of runs there, having scouted the hell out of it! It was awesome to finally get to run a hash there not knowing where it would go – but also having great knowledge about where it could (or more importantly could not) go.

We anticipated a small turn out with the boys away, but were lucky to get a couple of virgins and a couple of visitors – all of whom were serious runners / hashers. With Sunspot and Crap Thai coming along, it was a good turn out. In the early stages I got quite a few checks wrong, and ended up overtaking Robin Banks again and again, even though he’d suggested he was going to follow me. Big Top had found a couple of bits that I hadn’t done before, or didn’t remember quite, before we headed into a hill I know very well.

I got a couple of checks right and was going well, until the inevitable slap in the face! To foil me, the hare had set a 150m circle check, which brought the pack nicely back together. We’d done about 3-4km and there was the nice trail heading back to the A off a circle check – it wasn’t that way! I was behind again, with Humperdick questioning if I’d checked far enough. But no – the hare had an extra loop for us.

Awesome run, a lot of fun! Nobody had anything negative to say! The FRBs came in at 45:08, the rest of the pack came in within 5 minutes. Sunspot came in from a different direction, and BendOver came in after the rest of us – as he’d set off quite a while after us. Then we had the circle – where most of us seemed brain dead, but Big Top pulled it together and put out one of the best circles recently. So good that pretty much everyone carried on to the OnOnOn at a Burmese restaurant in town. If there are 3 elements to the hash – a big check in all 3 boxes!

Besides the hare’s efforts, the other key addition was Square Rooter deciding to fall off the wagon on his 70th birthday! The 3 beer Berrio was solid – Hashy Birthday Sir!

7th December – CSH3 – Cool Balls

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Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Why does Cool Balls hate us? We were lacking some of the FRBs away at the male outstation, but we’d be fine. When I arrived at the runsite, no one was there, and ominously it was the place Big Top had picked for her highway run a few weeks before. I was confident Cool Balls would put something decent together – until I heard that he only found out he was hare the day before… Uhoh!

I jogged off with Brown Finger, and we tagged our way through the first few checks, with Big Top, None of Your Business and Humperdick just behind. The trail was up, and when I say trail, I am being generous. It was a scramble through jesus trees, with the occasional bit of paper to encourage us we might get out of it alive! Somehow we hit a road in the middle of nowhere and ran up it. I hit a 200m checkback off a V check, and never saw Brown Finger again.

I could hear him ahead from time to time, but the checks needed to be broken again, and soon enough None of Your Business, Humperdick and I think Crap Thai joined me at a check that really shouldn’t have been as hard as I found it! I checked all over before I followed NOYB down a steep hack. NOYB took off like a pubescent kid trying to outrun his Dad for the first time – an ambition that was just beyond him this time… 😉

I’ve spent a bunch of time (>80km) scouting for the Ball Breaker, and I’ve ruled out “trails” that were much better than this! Perhaps I should re-evaluate? 😉

20th October – CH4 – Big Top

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Talking to Big Top late last night, she was confident the run was nailed down and it would be a good one. So we set off to 10k or so along the Sameong Road, only I set off a bit late forgetting the run started earlier. So when I got to the run site with None of Your Business, we were already chasing out of the A. Fortunately we managed to find the back of the pack, and quickly caught Kwazi Moto and Tip Toe.

I hit the front off an early check, and then quickly fucked up. We headed through a guys house and into a ‘mine’. A strange check had half the pack climbing up the side of the mine, while Humperdick went 150+ metres to find the trail coming back to 50m from the check. Confusing calls as the next check was closer to the previous check than the trail had been! We made it over the ridge and down into the valley the other side, to where it appears the hare screwed up…

Skiddy was leading the way and found his way down to the roads. He also found an easter egg – a secret trail that we weren’t meant to follow – why was there paper there? Further confusion as we could see paper in one direction, and hear Skiddy calling in another. A circle check with trail from 20m on. We quickly got out to the main road. I checked my gps – a bit over 2km into the run. The trail headed along the road, and not so far along there was a check. It confused everyone, as nobody wanted to keep checking on the road, but sure enough the trail went along the road. And on, and on, and on along the road.

No comment!

8th June – CSH3 – Superbitch

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With nearly 2000 combined runs, the Super family would surely put together a memorable run? About 4km towards Sameong, the A bucket was by a serene lake overlooked by a Buddhist meditation retreat. Big Top, HRA and Bendover had all set from around here, and normally it involved the steep hills nearby. Uhoh.

We set off across the quarry, straight in the direction of the hills. Just as we were about to head up the hill we got to a circle check. Rather than heading on up, the hares had abruptly dived down a lethal barb wire coated bank back to a road that took us back down. No hill today?

We cut back across another quarry / excavation site with Gorf leading the way and getting confused by a cross check. We quickly turned back towards the A and had a short loop through the temple and around the lake.

Sups was clearly thirsty as he let the FRBs back within 30 minutes, before the GM had even arrived. Several of the more energetic types went around for a second lap (with the GM), while the rest of us tucked into the beers. A short sweet workout!

30th March – CSH3 – Big Top

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Rating: 6.7/10 (3 votes cast)

Big Top dragged us 27km out of town past San Kampaeng, near the hot springs in Mae On. Not quite an outstation, but a bloody long drive! She’d teamed up with Push Back for the run, and the pair were both looking smug when they showed up brandishing beers. Evil Big Top? With steep cliffs all around us, what on earth would they come up with?

We were pointed off back down the road and told to look to the right. I jogged off, and had a deja vu from when Chuckie and I had jogged off 5km before realising we had missed the trail. This time we found the trail and Angry Inch was behind me as we cut off into some farmers fields. At every opportunity the hares had us crawling through different barbed wire fences, over, under, through, between, it was like some sadistic army assault course.

Having gone down the hill at the start, it was inevitable that we’d have to climb back up again later, and sure enough when the uphill came, CW hit the front and one by one everyone dropped back. Finally we came across Big Top stood in a field still brandishing the beer. We were close to home – right? It was just there under the monstrous cliff? Except Push Back was there to point us off for another loop – a kind of impromptu Wimp Rambo split. Even Leaky Faucet and the newly named “Crack and Feel” did the extra km, but I was struggling by then.

Fun cirtcle and then off to a great steak house for the ononon…