Category Archives: CH4 – Sunday

6th June – CH4 – Pigshit & ABB

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The Ob Kham Hex is probably the furthest runsite from home, but after 4-5 months of hardly doing anything, and being lazy over the past week, I need some exercise… I arrived with moments to spare, but the hare told me to “Fuck Off” when he was going to give the walkers a tip. I strolled along at the back of the pack as we headed into the ‘park’. A circle was called about 40m ahead, and at that moment there was a road/trail off to my right. I glanced down it and sure enough there was something white in view. I jogged over to it, and sure enough it was paper, but there was something wrong – it seemed to be going around the corner from 2 different directions, and just didn’t feel like it was the right paper from the check, so I went back. I discussed it with Shrek and Cabbage Patch, and was just doubting my decision when HRA called the ON from completely the opposite direction. I had found the In-Trail.

KO still hasn’t left, so she led for a while, and then Shrek & I took over. Knowing it must be clockwise had me guessing the next check wrong, and so I was a bit behind as we went along the road and into another old circle site. HRA has set a run their before and so he headed up the steep ridge. I reluctantly followed, fearing it was a case of climbing the steep bank, just to go back down again the otherside – and as we got back to the road, the walkers were walking past on the back of their inside information. I meanwhile was hot… really hot…

We kept to the road for a bit, but I was struggling with the heat and dropped off the pack. I was tempted to short cut, I was tempted to turn back… When I saw Tiptoe going back complaining about the heat and humidity, I was really tempted to go with him, but I was there for the exercise and sweating a lot. I knew roughly where I was, and figured I was over halfway as we went up the hill turning to the right. I was walking, and enjoying the great colours in the late afternoon sunlight, and the peace of my solitude.

There was a moment when the clouds seemed to emerge, a bit of a breeze, and it started cooling down. By then, I was into walking mode, and couldn’t get going again, so I continued to walk. Any moment now we’d be turning right and heading in.

A check must have fooled most of the pack as it went straight away from the way we needed to go! I was sorely tempted to turn right and short cut, but my interest was piqued, so I carried on. I could finally hear calls up ahead, CW and HRA! Just ahead, and then just off to the right, and then behind, and going further away… A km or so later, I got to where they must have been after doing a big loop. It was a nice loop through an orchard, and then I was nearly home. I got to see the paper at the corner again, and was once again tempted to short cut my way back, but the trail turned away again, and I stuck on paper around the hill and in not long before the circle started. Damn I need some exercise!

30th May – CH4 – Mr. Poo & KO

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Mr. Poo & KO teamed up for a farewell hash before their sojourn back to the UK. From the Sameong Road football field, I spent most of the day pondering whether they would send us up the temple steps as a final FU! Fortunately not, and what ensued was a great set, and the appeal of the event drew out several extra hashers like Turkish & Sloppy Rod.

We set off towards the river, and there was a new bamboo bridge in sight of the first circle, and inevitably we went over it. The next check by the dried up paddy field took a while to solve – we went left, we went right (when I say we, I mostly just mingled and watched). Nothing, so I started going backwards, and Sloppy was convinced we were going back across the river, to the extent that he jumped in and waded his way across… I think it was Snail Trail that called it from in the middle of the rice field.

I went the long way around the rice field – even though it was dried up. So it took me a while to get back through the pack. A pleasant conversation with various hashers as I made my way. A couple of decent checks and I was back in the mix, but also feeling the heat so not wanting to put too much effort in. Along the rubber wall, which is no longer covered in rubber, so really should be renamed. Then towards the hill, which made me reluctant.

These are great trails, and the light rain was cooling, but I could have done with it being even cooler. We past a “house” that has progressed since last time, but there was no trail marked off to the right as I’d hoped. Instead there was Poo & KO smiling with beers. Beer stops are great, but I wanted to press on and get to the end. Sure enough it was a false trail and we had to go back up the hill to “house” and finally we were on the way back home. If I learnt nothing else, I know I have lost a hell of a lot of fitness over the past 4 months…

Great run, great circle, great ononon… The Poos will be sorely missed.

23rd May – CH4 – Cartoon

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The air is clean – we are mostly into the green, so it’s safe to go outside! Let’s see what Cartoon has in store for us out at the usual lake in San Kampaeng.

The harebrief told us we knew what to do, and set us off along the side of the lake. A couple of early checks headed us towards the canal in usual style. I cut a little loop off as I found paper before a circle was called and found myself at the front with Blows Herself and a visitor – given the smallish turnout I suspected I might have a lot of work to do today!

We headed along the nice cut through, which takes us away from where Cartoon usually sets, so I was wondering if he had explored the hill, but then paper ran out… I looked closer at the last bit, and it seemed like old paper… Turning back, Sex Pistol & Blows Herself confirmed we must have got onto the wrong trail, and as we headed back, eventually we found a FT hidden behind a bush! Back to the top of the canal, and we found Pussy Galore short cutting, but confused on paper.

We were back along the other side of the canal to a W/R split – seriously does someone need a 2km wimp trail?? Around the corner and trail led to the left – it stank of a False Trail, and I was tempted to just go straight instead, but decided to play the game – sure enough, when I got to the FT, there was Poo and KO waiting to jump out on us. HRA took over the lead for a bit along with Sock My Cock and ABB in the mix.

A circle check at the road, and I suspected we had to cross over to find a way back, and sure enough there was paper after 100m at the nice cut through trail. Meanwhile Sex Pistol and ABB found more true trail leading to a false trail somewhere else.

Another check had me and Blows leading the way, but by now I was starting to overheat.. I needed to slow down a bit, but I had a small lead. A loop around an orchard, back across the road and into a field. I went left and found paper on the back of a tree, but man that was well hidden – I called “ONONLOOKING” a bunch of times as I looked for further trail, but the pack was slow to follow me. Finally figured it out, and went around the corner to the last check. I knew we must be close, so tried to push on through a bunch of freshly cut trees, carefully protected by thorns, damn my leg was ripped up.

Actually a fun set and a fun circle. Cheers Cartoon!

16th May – CH4 – HRA

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So, 4.5km is standard now for runs? Who am I kidding? It was freaking hot, and I am v. unfit – it was definitely far enough for me!

After months of isolation due to the pollution, I ventured out on another run, and it was great to see Poo out on the run as well. He was walking, I was attempting to run, but probably spent at least half the time behind him…

KO was on fire for pretty much all of the run! The first check I got wrong and spent some time playing catch up after finding a way to cross the gully that Shrek & Blows Herself were laughing at me over. I rejoined the pack and continued into the maze of trails 11km south on canal road.

For a while it wasn’t clear if we would turn left or right, but left it was, and did I mention it was hot? I tried to position myself off the front and minimise my efforts, but still I seemed to get checks wrong. KO and I got one right, and she ran off with more energy than me, when she came running back from a false trail Cartoon was right behind me chuckling at our luck…

I definitely need more exercise – I need to lose some weight, and today was just the start of a new phase. I am grateful to HRA for being kind!

3rd May – CH4 – KO

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With KO unencumbered by the millstone that is Poo and in her favoured area, only good could come from this run, right? Well yes and no. A small pack again and two Kiwi visitors livened it up. KO’s signage looked like aliens had landed and perhaps they had.
Trail went south and west to the temple, I’m hazy about those tracks but TMB assures me I know them well. After ten minutes I recognised trail and junctions and was able to predict a general clockwise circuit back to base.
Cartoon and TMB were often FRB but got buggered now and again by the plethora of options at the many 3 ways checks on offer. HRA, Skiddy, Blows and Strumpet were going strong and rumour had it that Cumalot was in the van early doors.
We had great runnable trails, much shade and lots of big dry crackling leaves to mask the calls. But hark, a terrible bellowing sound! Was it a carabao in extremis being anally DP’d sans lube? It sure sounded like it. Wait, maybe it was a forest deer being castrated by an old hill tribe hag with three blunt teeth? An open glade revealed the mystery beast, none other than Blows Herself extending her range of forest call signs.
It was hot, if not fff hot. My intensely orange shirt found favour in ABB’s gimlet eyes but seemed to be wicking the umph out of me. I pulled it over my head and telepathically BH started talking about running topless and Strumpet rolled her top up so I could study the bottom of her very fetching lower back tattoo. Surprised me she was that into West Ham but I may have been mistaken.
At a familiar though cheeky check I remembered its down thru the forest to a parallel path and so did TMB. HRA wasn’t impressed with my On right and down call. Nor I with him not kicking out the check after the dam.
The way in was a couple of two choice circles and I guarded and kicked out as TMB, HRA and Cartoon ran away from me – and sometimes were on.
Good run, just right at 5.3km for me although TMB had a km more from checking aka fcuking up.
The high ice chair was implemented by Skiddy with luckily no injuries and the glamistas Comimg Quick and Strumpet were worthy wings winners. The circle basically ran itself like the run set itsel, and soon it was time for a glass of ale.

25th April – CH4 – Pigshit & Krap Thai

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It was ANZAC Day, so a couple of Ozzies teamed up out in my backyard Maejo. I’ve not run for weeks… make that months… the pollution, work, etc. The smog had been improving the past few days, but this morning it was still not good, so although I was ready to run, I didn’t expect the storm that cleaned things up mid afternoon. Eitherway, I headed out to Maejo for some much needed exercise.

We set off, but immediately the hares were messing with us – normally we’d hit the forest & hills quickly, but they had us zig zagging on some rarely used trails – nice work! After a KM, we weren’t close to reaching the gate that was just down the road, after 2K we were just approaching the square lake – a regular A-site. The pack was still mostly together, and most of us stood at the corner of the lake watching while Chuckie ran one side, and then another side.. when he started back down the 3rd side, we on mass jogged across the dam to meet him again – cheers for that!

After that I put a bit of a streak together, nailing a few checks, and when I finally got one wrong it was a false trail that I was highly skeptical of. Tasty took the lead and given her level of fitness I wouldn’t have been surprised to not see her again, but it wasn’t long before the lead was rotating as we seemed to do hill repeats up and down the lower part of the hill – undulating – nice word hares!

I locked in on the likely route out – we couldn’t turn left quite yet, and when Tasty and CW did, it was only CW that came back, while Tasty reappeared at the next junction. Cartoon took the lead with a burst of energy. I predicted he’d get the next check right, but the one after wrong – the checks weren’t quite where I expected, but I was right as he took off towards the gate and the way home, while I followed Tasty on true trail to the right.

So on the final part of the trail, I might have detoured… or straight lined… but it was hot, and I’d got some good exercise in. I definitely need more of this to get back in shape – see you next time!

7th March – CH4 – Cumalot (&HRA)

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Midterm exam week, so I got out of work and out to Sleeps On It’s resort for a run. The pollution was down, so it was looking good for some exercise! At the start we had the kiddies running all over the place – Snail Trail had brought her two, then there was Obscene. They seemed to be running around / fighting, but not making much progress…

KO & Poo joined me at the front, and KO got the first check right. The early section went a completely different way from what I expected, but there were good trails, seemingly more uphill than down though. We got into a smokey patch, and Poo was struggling, as was I climbing slowly up a hill.

Cartoon was putting in most effort – doing a great job up front. Pretty early on Graven, Purple Fart, Pigshit all took a mini shortcut (clearly one the hares had in mind when they led us a long loop around a plantation). They appeared on trail ahead of me. I wasn’t short cutting, but I wondered why, when even Blows Herself led a pack on the short way across a field.

Eventually the pack started spreading out, and a lead group established – it was clear we were going clockwise. Cartoon again doing most work, with KO up there. A check split them up and KO got it right. I followed KO, and at the next check she simply disappeared!!! Vanished into space! I got the check right, but didn’t see KO for a while – I wasn’t 100% sure if it was short cutting or silent running, but it was clear in the end…

At one point the hares evilly sent us down a hill, guarding the top trail with a V check, only to take us back up it. Undulating is an understatement! It was up and down constantly. The had us climbing up a steep hill with the trail at a 45 degree angle. That wasn’t much fun, and the only thing that made it worse was KO waiting for us at the top!

Cartoon wasn’t having it – he busted his gut to chase her down. A really nice set – cheers hares!

27th December – CH4 – Brownfinger & Taste My Buns

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I’d heard teasers about this run for weeks, and expectations had been built up with anticipation for a great, long, virgin run! I walked out on a group of students and drove for an hour or so south to Mae Wang – we’ve had outstations near here before – indeed we’ve had outstations closer to Chiang Mai before! A moment of doubt that I might have missed a sign, so I paused to check the map and finally made it to the A.

More teasers that the first 7 were great, then a beerstop, then another 5 to get back. We shall see! Spontaneous announcement that it was a free run – typical, I was planning on not drinking as it was a long drive back and the cops are already setting up drink check points. Oh well, it isn’t about paying or not.

We were released, and I set off speedwalking with Angry Inch. Out of the resort and right along the road. After 400m or so of tarmac, we hit a check – the choice of carrying on the road, or right onto a trail into the jungle. Easy one. No sooner had I seen the first paper, I hit the second check – again a 50/50 choice, both trails though. Brownie had gesticulated absentmindedly in a particular direction when he was talking about the beer stop, so I had a rough idea of the general direction, but I was wrong, and not for the last time!

Much of the run was spent overtaking the walkers – and simultaneously pondering to myself why I was bothering to run! The checks were so good that almost the whole pack was still more or less together by the beer stop. At least Brownie and Tasty weren’t on trail, so it was easier to keep up. I was pushing along as it was mostly all runnable trails. Greasy was leading for a while, until another circle, where I turned right, and I think it was Strangely Anal that went left. I was right for once, and clearly had a bit of ground over the pack. The trail turned left off the main trail onto a smaller parallel trail, and 50m later hit a circle where there was a trail off to the left. I ducked back over to the main trail and checked straight on (around 130m as the checks were LONG!). Nothing, so I cut cross country to the other trail, again nothing. I’d covered 2 trails, only really one option left. No idea why that took so long to find as people had gone down it – perhaps they weren’t expecting 150m checks!

Again I spent some time overtaking walkers. Up ahead a false trail. Today it seemed people had forgotten how to do false trails. Normally when you get to the False Trail, you can call back and let people know. Today, whoever found it treated it like a circle check, but let the others go to see it. More than once I past a possible alternative only to have to go back and find trail. Angry led for a while, and then Anyone took over. I chased after her and was finally back at the front finding trail to the left after another circle. Around the corner another circle, and I could only see one way to go, so I went 150m until I hit a main junction. Sadly no paper, and eventually a call from completely the opposite direction. Note to self, in the future, never set checks longer than 100m.

Coming back I caught up with Cumalot, and this time spent quite a while overtaking walkers, getting back into the mix at another false trail, where this time we left the decent trails we’d been on so far, and went onto a smaller trail. Shortly later the hares put a circle with shiggy in every direction. Anyone found a way through, and I am sure HRA would have stopped to pull up his gaiters.

We emerged and had a view across some scraggy cow pasture to a temple on the hill the other side. My internal compass was off and I thought we were looking at a different temple. So far we’d been running mostly on nicely shaded forest trails. Suddenly we were in the sun. This morning I’d been looking for my fleece, and complaining about the cold when stepping out of my nice shower. Now the heat hit back and I was starting to fade. Cartoon and Scooby were edging back to the front with Strangely Anal and Greasy. I’d been putting effort in the whole way around – I hadn’t stopped, and now I was feeling it. At next week’s ball breaker, I need to take it easier! I paused at a check, and milled around. An eternity later Scooby called it and I could see him way off in the distance as Cartoon set off after him.

I was still jogging, but spending more and more time looking at my watch – the first leg was supposed to be 7km, but I had 9.5km! I was slowing down. Finally we saw Tasty taking photos, and then another check before finally being allowed the beerstop. I grabbed a water, and took a break. The water didn’t go down well, but it did cool my temperature a little. The pack took off on the 2nd leg, I took a little longer to prepare myself… HRA, Graven and some others were making the decision to pull out. I was tempted, but eventually I set off onwards on trail, but after 100m or so, my legs were complaining and my mind listened to them. I hung off the back of the songthaew back to the A, and headed home!

All in all, a great first 5km! I love forest trails like that. The checks were clearly devilish as I wasn’t the only one with way more distance at the beer stop, and if I had a baht for every time I overtook a walker, it would cover my run fee!

13th December – CH4 – Blows Herself & (Alice)

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I sat through a lot of presentations today at work… It was a long day of highs and lows, and I was cutting it fine to make it to the run. I expected the pack would have set off before I got my shoes on, but the hare was being sabaisabai, and only KO had set off ahead of the pack. Unfortunately for KO she got the first check wrong and lost her sneaky advantage.

Somehow I got ready and out on trail with the first check right. I got the 2nd check wrong, but it was so deliciously discrete that I had a 2nd and a 3rd try at it. 1st try the obvious way, 2nd try across the weir and to the right, 3rd try I teamed up with Cumlord and we found paper. He stepped aside and let me go. Knowing the pack would struggle with the weir crossing, I pressed on, and got a check or so ahead by the sound of the calls behind. I was nailing them until a circle just off the road by a new concrete canal. Here I got it wrong, and could have kept going to get back on trail, but did the right thing and went back and followed the pack.

It is probably worth pointing out that the hares paper budget should probably be increased… They had chosen larger squares of paper, but less of them and finding our way wasn’t easy at the best of times. After going through the runsite of the 1234-555 run, there was much confusion as most of us ran out of paper and were milling around calling ARE YOU, while a smaller group had found paper and weren’t calling.

I followed Anyone and KO without too much incentive to overtake as we past the other side of the temple hill. By now we had to be turning right, while until then I figured we would turn left. Turning right here though meant a limited number of choices – the run was already headed to be much longer than their 6km harebrief. There is a great trail that heads up to the cliff overlooking the lake – a great trail, but Cumlord was already coming back. Graven seemed to be co-ordinating the troops. There is another option that cuts along the barbed wire fence up to the dam, but surely not? That would be too far… I set off down the road – there is a way through – last time I was there it was a filthy trash dump, but I couldn’t rule it out…

When KO called I was very surprised. We were going up to the reservoir afterall! This wasn’t going to be a short run, and we had a bit of a climb. I had to gradually pick people off on the narrow trail and rejoined a decent pack as we got to the great view over the lake. There was a circle check and while some hashers went looking for paper, Graven tied his laces and Poo and I hunted for Alice – surely there would be a beer stop here? There had to be a good reason he wasn’t there for the harebrief… where was he? I think Snowballs called onon, and we thirstily carried on. Another circle – a small circle inside the large circle of the helipad, and here Emmaroyde took off across the lower spillway. It took a moment to consider an alternative parallel with Graven, Snowballs and the Angry Grinch (December name). I stuck to the road – there is only one way back from here…

Sure enough we hit paper heading across the dam… It really is a shame there isn’t a decent way back down from there – I’ve searched and I’m sure others have too, but the only way is to get to the other end of the dam. I was starting to feel it, but persuaded my legs to just keep turning over – it doesn’t have to be fast, just keep going.

I was leading the way, GI caught up. I asked if he was back to full fitness, and it felt like I was asking the robot Marvin as he pointed out he would never be as fit as he used to be! Strangely Anal caught up and the pair got into conversation as they pulled a few meters ahead of me. Fortunately I wasn’t far behind them at the end of the dam, and we could all see the circle check down the stairs… And it seemed like they were reluctant to do it – it could be down the road afterall!

I went down the stairs while they waited around at the top. I called back to say if I was wrong I wasn’t going back – I had gone “ALL IN”. When I saw the paper I got a hit of adrenaline – but no chance of running on those slippery stairs at this point. Trail out to the road. A circle check…. I had no doubts – back over the bridge and down the trail the other side. Bingo, I was off. Wait? Why isn’t the trail going down to the side of the waterway? Phew the false trail wasn’t too far and I was back to the junction while Graven was still at the road – again checking his shoes.

I was back on and there wasn’t far to go. We all knew it and the pack was right behind me – I could hear them breathing down my neck. As trail went off to the right over a little bridge, I saw the circle the other side and carried on, slowing down to a walk. It was enough to buy myself another 50m or so. When I spotted the paper ahead I started running again, and once again GI caught me up. Once again he is capable of conversation! I gasped it wasn’t far, but far enough that I couldn’t hold him off. Mental fortitude, a slight downhill and I put in a burst, I was ALL IN again. A strange circle where there should probably have been an ONIN, but whatever, it was enough and at 7.7km that was a great work out! It was more than I expected, but any less would have been disappointing!

6th December – CH4 – Sheepshagger

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SheepShagger and his glamorous assistant Happy Ending set a twisty trail in the flatlands close to Baan Tiwai.

It’s an area with potential and definitely underhashed. All good so far.

The way to hell is paved with good intentions they say, and Sheepy wanted to use up old Lanna pink squares. These worked well enough scattered on the deck like Mother intended, but stapled low to the paths on low contrast green in low light surrounded by small
pink flowers… you can guess the rest.

Trail twisted and spun, went back in itself and kept the pack guessing. That was fine. Trouble is the frb’s were guessing for paper some of the way too.

Rice paddies were cut and hard enough to run through. A few ditch crossings were encountered and poor Anywan lost her trainer in a deep bog as she rooted for vegetables while on trail. Good Samaritan Leaky Faucet pulled her off.. I mean out.. and offered her his water bottle to wash the filth off her shoe.

It was hard to get a handle on where we were going and the lead was constantly changing. Hounds were frustrated by the pointless ABB ‘trick’ of stapling paper 5m down a side turn when the trail goes straight on. Circles were also on the sides of trees or set back from the path and quite a few were simply missed as the frb’s sometimes struggled to see the small light pink squares anyway.

After 6 weeks shuffling with a bad Achilles, it was great to be jogging along at last. I ran a bit with Cumlord and passed and repassed Itchybitchy and Knockout.

The sun was out, the pack were working together and best of all we lost Suckit and Pigshit 3/4 of the way through the run.

Browny and Cartoon were going great guns and Horny Lazarus.. I mean Monkey, was showing a leg to impress his young virgins no doubt.

After 5.3km I heard On In shouted at a turn ahead and happily jogged in with the leggy virgin guest of Game,Set n Snatch.

Felt happy to have got home more or less unscathed and enjoyed a sluice and the circle.

SheepShagger was caught out as RA for the day but people took turns and it was fun enough but overlong. Graven thought he was back as GM on Monday so many splashes did he give. Suckit and Piggy eventually returned from 180 degrees the wrong way, after Itchy, the one girl search party, borrowed my scooter to search for the miscreants.

All in all I enjoyed the trail and exercise and hope we run around the area again. Just avoid light pink and make the paper bigger and more visible would be perfect.