Category Archives: CH4 – Sunday

12th Dec – CH4 – Alice (& Blows)

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Today there was a Malaysian invasion! We’ve had quite a few visitors recently, and today randomly an extra 96 (ish) showed up. Our regular 20-25 or so group is easy to handle – today we suddenly had to make sure there was enough transport and beer for a HUGE turnout – we also had a bunch of extra CM folks show up – very welcome to Bushy Tail, the returning Dogshit, and Liberace!

Alice had picked a runsite outside a school for a run starting at 4:30 – it was utter chaos! Songthaews arriving full of hashers, songthaews leaving with school kids. While the hare might have been frustrated in trying to get his harebrief done, it wasn’t anyone else’s fault!

We set off, and Brownie was clearly itching to test himself with the visitors! There were a couple of young trackstars that were clearly running well, but had no idea what happened at the check. I jogged along, getting the first few checks right – as I quickly figured it was a reverse of the last run Alice had set there. Of course he would go up to let everyone enjoy the views at the dam – it would be rude not to! The inside information left me well placed as we climbed the stairs and at the top where Alice was waiting, I was only going to head over the dam. For most of the visitors, this must have seemed like a low chance – good visibility and no sign of paper – but to me it was about 100%.

I was moving along nicely near the front – proud there was a group of 4 CM people (me, Tasty, Brownie and Cartoon), and only 1 visitor as we got to the other side of the dam. Then I got one check wrong and could never get back into it! Man the pace speeds up when you have a large group of FRBs! The rest of the run was familiar – heading inevitably towards the weir crossing.

The circle was good – considering the challenge of entertaining that many people.

5th December – CH4 – Prison Bitch & Discharge

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By Alice

Prison Bitch & Discharge were schooled in the fine art of haring by Knockout aka Jean d’Arc patron saintess and savior of those afflicted by dodgy bamboo bridges.

Well it was flat and lots of orchards and an area I’m not too familiar with. 3 pluses there. Some sharp turns that TmB didn’t see, much to Angry Inch’s enjoyment, also curries favour in the scribe’s eyes.

Two songthaos plus some visitors and a virgin, CH4 livin’ the high life nowadays…let’s enjoy it while we can (before the smog).

So off we went down the road and the FRBs almost missed check #1. Smallish beige flour circle on grass at the roadside. Didn’t bode well. Not did Square Rooter’s arse, which trumped out a call something between an earthquake and a bamboo bridge splintering. Purple Fart rather aptly caught the blast and he was not impressed.

Soon we were curving right along the side of an orchard and a bamboo bridge of fairly challenging nature presented. TmB and Strangely fcuked off to locate the next crossing. The rest followed Browny and Angry across to a circle. Slowly, wobbling and afraid of an early bath. KO jumped in the raging torrent to steady poor hashers as they crossed. Prison Bitch allegedly broke the 4th pole while crossing earlier but thankfully the remaining 3 supported Shrek, so I felt the rest of the pack was going to be fine.

The trail went basically anti clockwise but was hard to predict at checks. Brownfinger had an almost perfect record at checks – of fcuking up. I’ll follow him next run because even he can’t keep that stupendous level up.

Purple Fart was going really well although I’m suspicious it was just to keep upwind of Rooter’s rotten rectum.
Good to see Always on Top on trail and some guys I didn’t know, Young & Rich, Scratch, Braindead (HK H3er from 1972) and just someone else.

We crossed and re-crossed little irrigation streams and ducked low under branches. Suddenly we were back on tracks and there was Pussy Galore having followed trial in reverse after refusing the bridge. 4 points for refusal for PG!

The OnIn was big and clear but then trail disappeared and we stumbled back through the trees and rubbish to the footy field.

I had around 5.7km. A very pleasant return run back in CM. Nice one hares.

28th November – CH4 – Pussy Whisperer & Blows Herself

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I cruised out of work with enough time to get to the end of canal road to drop some beer off and go for a run. They are digging up part of the canal road that they only laid a year or so back, so I just managed to get to the circle site before 4:30, only to find the hares had said fuck it, and let the pack leave early… :( WTF? Only the songthaew matters now? Screw anyone who still has a job? The run was listed for 4:30, why the hell are they setting everyone off early? These thoughts coursed through my mind for pretty much all of the run. Especially as I unloaded beer and water from my car before setting off, while the hares just watched me. A quick change, and I finally set off at 4:34pm – now maybe 7-8 mins, call it a KM behind the pack.

After 20 mins or so, I caught up with Katastrophe and Square Rooter – Rooter didn’t want to let me pass virtually throwing me into a ravine so I could keep going. I was trying to set an ok pace that didn’t put me into the red. A while later I passed Robin Banks, and then caught a collection of walkers including Pussy Galore, Cumalot, Always on Top and some others. I passed one young looking Thai guy, and initially thought it was Always On Top’s nephew, but put my head down and got into running along. The young Thai guy left the walkers and started running along with me, and only then I looked over my shoulder to see it was Bus Bitch keeping me company.

One of the great things about this area is it is generally flat – except Pussy Whisperer had managed to find the only hill there was – without a trail and launched us up it. I heard nothing from ahead, just BB and I plugging away. Most of the checks had been kicked out with Teutonic efficiency – I suspect someone being extra caring with Dad following behind.

Finally as we approached the OnIn, I saw Angry Inch up ahead – he turned and asked who was following, and when he found out it was me, he stopped, and pulled out his cock.

21st November – CH4 – Graven & Strangely

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Despite all the hashing I’ve been involved with this was just about the first time I’ve run in about a month – I wasn’t sure how my body would react, but when I got started, it was clearly ready to run. Fantastic that the heat has dropped, the air is clean, and my legs have some stamina!

I got the first few checks right, after spotting some paper on the approach to the A-site (shelter on way to Tiger Head). We looped around the weir and back across the road. I finally got a circle wrong when I ran into a backcheck – clearly marked from the other direction. I was tempted to run through it, but played the game and went back, and after another loop I was back at the front chuckling to myself as I saw Cartoon headed towards the same backcheck. I jogged over to the square lake, and kept getting checks right as we headed towards the trail behind the ‘locked’ gate. I was ahead again there until Cartoon suddenly jumped out of the forest in front of me.

I figured Graven would stick with the lower trails as he is setting another run on Saturday from the Tiger’s Head, but nope – he took us up the hill. For once I enjoyed the climb, having got the check at the bottom, I slotted in behind the FRBs and trudged up with Shrek. What goes up must come down – woot woot! It was time to set off, and Emmaroyde was a demon on the descent! I was literally sprinting down the hill when he asked if he could pass! A slight muddle at the last check had me fighting off a pack of dogs before a long finale down the road.

Great, great run!

25th Oct – CH4 – Jungle Chim & It’ll Come

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I like running the CH4 on a Friday! Maybe we should do it every week? For working folks like me, it would be a nice way to end the week – at least I don’t have to get up tomorrow! 😀

This was a one off, for good reason, and Jungle Chim’s words to close the circle were excellently timed and very fitting. On In DN!

Back to the run. I wasn’t feeling great after lunch – suffering with stress induced indigestion, that finally led me to get medical advice, and take some drugs. By the time I got to the runsite I was feeling much better. The run directions were along the lines of – it is a shelter in Saraphi that isn’t easy to find, but you should follow the river down, we’ll try and put some signs somewhere, but by the way, the bridge at Baan Tawai is broken. It was a miracle any of us found it!

The hare brief wasn’t brief. There was an ingenious twist, where the Wimp Rambo split would be at a circle check! Inspired! Not only that, the hares told the walkers that they would be able to see trail leading away from the circle if they wanted to do the Walk, otherwise we had to look for the Rambo. Funnily enough, by the time the walkers got to that circle, trail had been laid very clearly leading away from it (onto the Run), and nobody noticed another trail for the walk.

The trail was flat, weaving through some orchards, and apparently we went past a lot of bananas. In the circle the bananas were brought up several times. Perhaps it says something about my state of mind, but I didn’t see any bananas.

17th Oct – CH4 – Bend Over

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Happy Happy Happy Hash! Bendover chose to sent us on the way to Sameong, in order to come back close to the canal road football field. I can’t complain too much – I hit 6 straight green lights on canal road – I should buy a lottery ticket!

After the harebrief, we set off into the nice cut through – I always wonder about that cut through – who built it? It must be man made. Anyway, I jogged along and superhuman Tasty was alongside and then just ahead at the first circle. No options – a cliff to the right, dense jungle to the left. Tasty carried on – I loitered and called for those behind to start checking, but nobody could spot a trail. No call from Tasty, so as the last of the back markers got to the check, I went back 150m or so to find trail heading off down the hill.

I was ahead for a while, and hit a circle near the road. As I checked back to the left, I saw the hare cruising past in his truck – I suspect trail wasn’t yet in place, but either way it wasn’t where I was looking, but had time to get back to Cartoon and Pussy Whisperer as trail was found further on the road. A V-check, and I was right, but here a breakaway formed with Tasty, Brownie and Graven. I held on to them for quite a while as we looped around on some nice, well marked trail. Good checks, but I managed to get to the checks as the others found trail.

At the W/R split, I decided to save my legs for tomorrow, and took the shorter route home. Good job!

26th Sept – CH4 – Brownie (& Tasty)

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To Obkhan and the hex shelter, close to the end of the universe! By some miracle, I hit green lights at almost every junction and bringing Terror Byte along we were in good time for the run. A v. small turnout though, bolstered by a late appearing returning Anyone.

We set off into the garden centre, with Terrorbyte excited to be back on trail, leading the way for a short while. Soon enough Chuckie took over, and then I started stringing some checks together. Tasty was out on trail despite being the hare – sweeping is one thing, but overtaking front runners… hmmmz… Lucky she was there though as large parts of the trail had been taken down along one of the mainer trails, and I’m not sure we would have found it otherwise – we stood more chance of finding the way back instead.

I led the way as we climbed a little hill, and then broke off onto some great running trails back down the hill. The checks were where I was confident I was correct, and junctions that would have been doubtful were marked through. So things were going well until we once again ran out of paper, and Tasty was there to tell us there should have been a false trail ahead.

As we got close to home, CW and Cartoon were breathing down my neck – the last check I saw had CW follow me, so I checked determinedly until I found the out trail paper and headed back missing out on an extra km detour. A nice route on some trails that I haven’t been on for a while. Not keen on a hare being out on trail, but today it might have been a problem without it. When trail has been removed previously the pack has always found a way of solving it!

30th August – CH4 – HRA

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By Alice

Well ffs, it’s his area, his bloody shelter, so what did we expect? A Poo run or even worse a Horny Monkey FU?
No, it was HRA at his knavish, conniving best, mixing trickery with fuckery, added to a firm grasp of geography! Yep I enjoyed it, although my left knee and Achilles disagree.

The first section in the woods he’s used a year or two back and I didn’t know where we were going until we reached a red gravel steep decline where Angry Inch tried to top himself.
TmB and Byte were out ahead and checks were done when I arrived, having enjoyed ShSh’s ergonomic and economic comparison of Decathlon and Saloman footwear.

Frozen Dick also started at the back with us but he was tired after the gym so dropped back quickly.

I started to see and hear Pussy W, Krapthai and Pigshite up ahead but didn’t quite catch up until we’d wiggled down the hillside and across the narrow valley to the hillside on the other side where the hare led us on the raised path into the forest and steep down to the track again.
From about half way I could have got home in half the time but played the game and enjoyed the unpredictability of HRA’s twists, turns and jerks.
Along the valley I felt good and passing Pussy Whisperer called out “Let the runners run!”Knowing this was probably a prelude to a painful face plant or bamboo impalement, I wended my way carefully, allowing him to pass me somehow a few times further on as I checked wrong.
TmB found trail to the left through a property but the dogs and tiredness compelled me to jog around the loop and sure enough there she was 5 min later exiting onto my trail.
The next check at the V had her heading to GC Rd and I went left round the loop back towards the Doi. Could it be the sneaky cut thru aka HRA alley? Yes it was, but I stayed on paper to the FT and retraced my steps ripping down the strips and indicating the turn. Emma Royde caught up about here and my pants fell down, with bottle and cap inside my shorts. TmB turned around to see the re-arrangement dance and it wasn’t pretty.

Back towards the Doi and options for the hare. I chose Doi again – wrong – and TmB somehow found the next check before she found paper.
Emma went down, TmB went back left forest and Alice went overgrown field and Onon!
The next check was also a head scratcher and it was called back in the Doi. I shadowed at a lower level then rejoined after 300m.
The run in was welcomed but not the sight of PW ahead of me AGAIN! Loping, long legged sealhacker be damned!
Relaxed circle and lovely splashes from Laid Back and TmB.
Top set from HRA and enjoyable domestic with Cumalot over the missing haberdashery and other responsibilities etc.

22nd August – CH4 – Cartoon

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By Alice

The RA didn’t quite manage to do his duty with the weathergods and the hare thought a straw sunshade was a good enough rain shelter. Didn’t Cartoon ever hear what happened to the little piggies when the big bad wolf blew on the house of straw?
Well the little group of hashers were likewise compromised when the heavens opened and the circle was short and mostly sweet, apart from some new hasher singing a hash version of Livin’ on a Prayer for a down down song. Liked the chorus mind, just the preamble could be dropped next time.
So Cartoon likes SKP. He lives there and sets runs from his front garden so it was said.
Well he knew a pretty good route and we were the ones who were rooted. Small pack, easy enough checks and super well marked….. er, not quite.
TMB started off as the only runner but some of us jogged along in her wake catching up when the FT and circle checks got her. Which they did often.
ABB, Pussy Whisperer and self made the second string FRB team and even sometimes took the lead.
Paper was sometimes sparse in areas you needed to see more and I struggled a few times just following trail when on. Finding the 2nd paper after a check was harder than the first on occasion. Never mind, the rain made it cool, the “flat run with a view” promised a hill naturally and delivered. It was hard work puffing up and a check in a ravine had me bashing a gulley to the right while TMB and ABB went straight and found trail but I didn’t hear – and the circle was unbroken.
Catching TMB at the saddle, she was returning with strips from a FT, I found a small forest path but no go. As I turned I espied paper on the trees flanking the monks’ steps and yelled OnOn loudly at least thrice back up the steps. Skipping down with heavy waterlogged gators and worried about slipping, I got to the bottom and nailed the next check too. TMB didn’t hear and I wondered where she’d got to!
Down I came and although I lost paper a few times, I managed to re-join trail with some intelligent guesswork. My followers would have an equally hard time of it I surmised.
The canal reassured me I was close ish and a few paperless sections were minor worries as I jogged fairly strongly homewards. Suddenly a sodden chalk arrow soon I was looking at the big lake. No sign if I should go left or right so I retraced the out trail clockwise around the lake only to be asked by the hare if I’d done the walkers’ trail. Fcuker!
6.4km nice trail and then 20km home on the bike in the pissing rain.
Welcome back to CM ☔️

15th August – CH4 – Emma Royde

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A run in Maerim? It’s been a while since we’ve been running there, so I was excited that my lab finished early enough that I could make it… Dashed out of the room to the car, only to find I had forgotten my shoes, so had to swing by the house on the way to the A. Fortunately I had enough time, even though the A was much further than expected… Tucked away in a spot I had never been to before.

We had visitors and virgins – nearly as many as regulars! After a brief chat and harebrief we were set off – while I’ve been trying to get into the habit of walking at the start, it was downhill so I tried to shake out my sore legs from yesterday’s exercise. At the bottom of the hill a circle – I looked left and saw a gate, so turned right and headed around the corner – I was on. And this process continued for some time – The pack of visitors were clearly faster than me, but they spent their time holding hands, cuddling etc. at the checks, so I was staying ahead and just kept guessing right. Poor Cartoon behind me was left with 2nd or 3rd choice each time.

Finally after 4km, the visitor couple caught me up, overtook and had first choice at the check. It was so sweet as they didn’t want to leave each other, but were forced to check different trails. Ever the gentleman, when he found the trail he waited for others to catch up before running off. By this point, I was happy walking in the pleasant countryside – and was quite content when I saw the cars before I got to the 7km promised by the hare! Good run all on trails that were new to me!