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28th December – CH4 – TMB & Alice

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A mini ballbreaker, when I am in no shape to do a normal run… But, Sloppy suggested going along and I randomly agreed after a few beers last night. When I woke up this morning, I regretted it, but felt compelled to drive to the end of the world in Mae Wang. Note to self – don’t reply to emails after drinking!

Anyway, it was nice to see some old faces, and I ought to get some exercise in. We set off and there was immediate confusion for the next half hour or so. Suited me, I was able to keep up! First check was back to the road, so Frozen was leading the way. After we turned off the road the trail stopped and we spread out. A random guy on a motorbike came to find out what these strange people were doing on his land. I asked if he had seen pink paper, and he pointed out where it was (or rather where he had taken it down from).

The pack caught me up as we came out onto another road where a check had people squeezing through holes in ?temple? fence, only to not have any idea which way the trail was going. Confusion reigned for a while longer until the FRBs got their act together and started to extend a lead. I carried on walking, but gradually slower and slower as various people passed me expressing surprise at how far back I was. My feet didn’t feel comfortable over a few bits of the terrain, and when I lost touch with those in front it was tricky following the pink paper.

I finally got to the beer stop, grabbed a beer and with not far to go headed for the wimp trail. Robin Banks joined me and when we got to the W/R split he said he was 50/50 – I said I was 100% wimp, so he decided to follow me. When he realised how short the wimp was he turned back and found the rambos again, while I took a seat in the shade for a bit. Should I bother trying to get fit enough for this shit, or just take an early retirement?

6th November – CGH3 – Jenny

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Fook Me I am unfit. I spent most of the weekend recovering from last Thursday’s run (plus hangovers), but Jeez I am out of shape. Back to the Maejo lake today for the G, and this time it was straight up the hill. On a good day, back when I was fit, that took around 8 minutes – (PB 7.26), today I just about collapsed at the top in over 12 minutes. And when I say nearly collapsed, I had definitely pushed myself into the red zone.

A check at the top had Graven scamper off left, Cartoon begrudgingly head right, and of course I was turning left along with Piggy. The trail here is mostly flat along the top of the ridge, but I had nothing left already. One by one I was passed. Given that I haven’t been about so much, it seemed like most wanted to have a bit of a chat as they passed me, so I apologise if I came across as rude – I could barely muster the energy to walk, let alone hold a conversation.

It seemed lacking in checks, which didn’t really bother me, as there was no chance I could keep up with Emma. And so, we turned down the steep trail, my legs like jelly. I figured most had passed me by and not long after the water I’d drunk before setting off decided it wasn’t enjoying life in my stomach and preferred to soak into the ground. A hasher I didn’t know appeared behind me, kindly offered water, but I didn’t think it would stay down. He walked with me for a bit, but at the next junction (no check), I knew a shorter way of getting back, so we parted ways again.

I reconnected with trail at the 5 point junction, and plodded my way back. Not far from home Emma breezed by and I was left to trudge up the road to the cars with Graven close behind. Embarrassingly unfit. I sat – I showered – and still felt terrible. Certainly didn’t want a beer, so opted to head home to at least enjoy the aircon in the car. Finally perking up now, but my legs aren’t happy with me. Will I make the effort to get fit again? Or will I stick with golf? Unsure at this point…

2nd November – CH4 – Tequila Slammer

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It’s been a while for various reasons, but the stars aligned and I decided to take Terrorbyte to the hash. Maejo is a hash playground that should be the default choice for hares, although this week had some history with Kwazi getting lost on Monday. I did go looking for him first thing Tuesday morning, so perhaps that triggered me to rejoining the hash?

I guess this post will form 2 parts – a review of the run, and a reflection of why I was there! Reviewing the run is easier, so lets start there… It was Maejo, a runsite I know very well, so we traversed over to the main trail and headed up to the 5star junction – ergo I got the first few checks right. Now then… there is a junction with 5 different trails – Who the F**K puts a V check there???? I saw there was a check and assumed it was a circle check, so WTF I ended up checking a direction that was impossible. That V check earnt more than it deserved, but I was actually thankful to be following the leaders as I am not in shape.

A few checks later we got to a W/R check, which was easy to not spot – I chose not to spot it and take the wimp trail – I know my form at the moment. Sadly I had to then do the checks alone until ABB caught me up. I was coming back from a check when he appeared and for some reason I listened to him – shit I know this area better than most, the way I checked was foolish, but the way he suggested was just impossible! Tired, weary, we got back to the circle as Scooby jogged by. At least now we were in the last phases as a few of the Rambos passed me and as each passed it was a jab in the heart that I need to get my life together.

Overall it was a great set – really good use of the trails – so good job Tequila Slammer (or perhaps Pussy Whisperer?) – my only question is why the F**K did you put a V check at an obvious circle chance?

So, the second part – why was I there? I haven’t hashed for years. Previously, I wasn’t enjoying the hash – I was just going along out of habit, not because I was enjoying it, so I stopped… It’s taken a long time for me to get my head in the right space. I didn’t want to join the group when my head was in a negative dark cloud as that wouldn’t contribute any positivity to the group. I didn’t want people to be ‘walking on eggshells’ when talking to me, or splashing me and I didn’t want to join the group when I had such a negative outlook.

I think I am through my malaise and am ready to rejoin the community (assuming you accept me back). I doubt anyone has read this far, but if you have give me some positive energy as I really need the exercise!

15th Jan – CGH3 – Frozen, Graven & Strangely

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It’s Ballbreaker time. Despite battling a cold, I finally decided to go out an see what they had put together out past Doi Saket. It is one of Frozen’s favourite spots, so I wonder what new trails he found? The hares seemed happy to give up some inside information – perhaps noticing I wasn’t feeling that well.

I walked up the hill at the start and we found what might have been a circle check. This was roughly the OnIn in reverse from the last time Frozen had set out there and I clearly remembered Brownie chasing me down that hill. I confidently got a few checks right before losing some ground when we had to balance across a log – thankfully the hares had provided ropes, so unlike Titty Smoker I made it across without getting wet.

We continued doing the previous run in reverse all the way to the first beerstop at <4k. I wasn’t planning on doing it all, but 4k was a bit wimpy, so Frozen suggested doing the 3rd leg rather than the 2nd. We were about to set off to the 2nd beerstop, but the hares were worried about Silly Cow as she hadn’t turned up yet. Perhaps she had turned back? We waited a little bit longer, until a group of 5-6 harriettes showed up. One was Silly Cow, but the hares had forgotten about 5 others – most notably Frozen’s wife! Setting off on the 3rd leg I had the company of 4 ladies who seemed happy to send me off to check for them. There were a couple of checks that caught me, but mostly it was a pleasant walk back towards the cars. Thankfully there wasn’t as much hill this time and we dropped on to some trails that I wasn’t familiar with. It wasn’t long though before I knew where we were – lucky for us that was where the trail had been removed, so we were able to find our way through based on inside knowledge. Cheers hares, I know how much work goes in!

26th Dec – CGH3 – Gorf

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Gorf is back in town and haring. A day long hangover for boxing day, I had to do something, so I headed down to a random location (no signs!) near Hang Dong golf course. The hare brief wasn’t brief. Gorf is an international hasher so has picked up a variety of ideas from around the world, so decided to introduce us to the back checks off circles concept…

I do like innovation and change is generally good! I have hashed in the UK before where there was a few bits of powder in the wrong direction, but you knew by the 3rd blob that you were on… The hare warned us that there were some LONG false correct trails off circles, which just meant that we could not have any confidence with any calls… Surely when you are on trail it is ok to just call ONON… And surely it is a LOAD of effort to set false trails that may never be found? The hare sets the game, we play their rules…

Early on I was doing well – Poo not far behind, but I picked up a few checks until we got to a junction with no check. I’d heard someone behind me and it turned out Scooby sped past as we ran out of powder. Bizarrely Gorf was right behind us to put some powder down to make it clearer!!! Why the FOOK didn’t he just make it obvious the first time. Emmaroyde told him to go back to look after the bags.

Not long after there was mass confusion. It seems there were 2 checks either side of a road. Actually it was a really good check that went back and then up the hill, and it completely foxed us. Well it completely foxed me and it seemed to be a long time before anyone called it. I briefly saw Poo & Graven, but I’d gone from near the front to off the back. Sure it was a good check and I didn’t have much left to try and catch up.

19th Dec – CGH3 – Strangely Anal

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Late decision, and I cruised to a halt at the Maejo reservoir about 5 minutes late. To my surprise the hashers were also late and still getting ready. The hare said it was 8k, so I was immediately planning for some shortcuts, unsure of my fitness level.

We were set off back down the road, told to look to the right. The hare should have pointed us up the hill, but he didn’t so I was already at the next trail when someone called me back. Just along from me was a circle though. At this point, I didn’t know if this was a circle near the end or a circle near the start, so I started following trail backwards until I ran into ABB. Confusion resolved, and it was back to the circle – presumably heading to the main trail head. It was, but not quite the route I took, so once again I found myself going backwards until I think it was Angry Inch leading the pack in my direction.

From this trail head the next couple of checks would be 100%ers, heading up to the 5 point junction. I had a bit of a lead, so I turned right and headed up the hill. I didn’t think I would find powder, but I thought I may well intercept the trail at the next junction as surely we would loop around and back down the hill to the lake. No powder at the junction, so my short cut failed – but not to be outdone, I pushed on to the next junction in the vain hope I would intercept trail there. Nope. I had 2 choices – I could just finish up the hill and do my own thing, but that meant climbing another steep bit for around 5k total.

Instead I turned back and ran back down the hill. Jogging down hill I actually started feeling good – maybe I am over the Covid? I figured I could cut out to the Tiger’s Head and intercept trail up the road the otherside of the reservoir. But as I was feeling ok, I decided to just follow the trail – overtaking a bemused Frozen in the process. We came out on the road and it was marked Wimp to the left and Rambo to the right. Whatever, lets do it. I turned right and ran down the road for a km – why didn’t they use the trail parallel to the right – I know Graven knows it!

The other side of the road by the dodgy shelter. I crossed the weir, only to hear and then see Mr. Poo up the hill above me. No way to cut up to him, but I’d be better off turning left, running along the bottom and intercepting the pack after the industrial zone. It worked out and I had company again – once Piggy figured out how to get to me. I walked for a while and then started jogging as Emmaroyde got close to me, slowly speeding up like a rabbit as he got closer. A loop around the hill and then the powder had been brushed away on the sandy road before heading up the road to the dam.

Pleasant run – I got 8.4k, but then it was bitterly cold! I really didn’t need any ice time!

12/12 – CGH3 – Pigshit & Strangely

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Had the day off work, figured I’d make an appearance to say howdy to the returning hashers. Great to see Poo, Prison Bitch, Strangely and plenty more. I wasn’t feeling too great though – it’s been a lazy few months and then I finally succumbed to covid, and since that I’ve been struggling to do anything. I had tried to find motivation to have a walk around the moobaan, but since that didn’t happen, I figured I would drive all the way to the other side of CM to force myself to get some exercise…

I didn’t even stop to buy beer! But attending it progress right? I guess some people are wondering what is up with Byte’s mojo. Anyway, we set off with Titty Smoker keen to make the hare brief abrupt and then Kwazi on his now trade mark early attack. The hares had chosen leaf coloured markings to test our patience and I followed Kwazi as he constantly stopped right next to paper that he couldn’t see.

My intention was to short cut the wimp trail, but the hares told us it was 8k for the rambo or 3.5 for the wimp – the wimp would be enough for me… I kept with the pack for a while, and helped them out when someone mis-solved a circle check into the back of an FT. They were running around like headless chickens for a while. Progress was made, but I slipped off the pack – less than 2k in and I was already off the back with nothing left to give.

Fortunately there was the Wimp split and I took a left. It was a very easy trail, but even the little hill climb was a struggle. I need the exercise, perhaps I’ll get myself back in shape… I did catch up with the other wimps before the end, but afterwards I decided to take the aircon ride rather than going to source beers.

18th Nov – CH4 – Graven & Angry

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Dear Reader,

It’s been a while since I’ve penned some words here… For so many reasons I haven’t been hashing for years, but for some reason I showed up today. I’m not sure if anyone reads this anyway, or whether to dwell on why I haven’t seen so many friends for so long. As I drove back today, I did feel the friendships, connections, and all in all good vibes – ultimately I felt regret that I didn’t stay for the circle. I felt very welcomed back into a great community, but somehow I am still not 100% comfortable – but I think that is my problem to deal with and I’ll appologise to anyone I didn’t engage with enough.

I am out of shape, lazy and demotivated. I’ve hardly done any exercise for months, except a stupidly unprepared half marathon in the middle. Maybe not in the best frame of mind, but as it is between semesters and Graven was setting in Maejo, I figured I’d force myself to get some exercise.

A good turn out, the hares briefed us and we set off in the opposite direction to where you’d expect – away from the hills – this I like! (I’ve done hardly any elevation this year so flat would be nice…) Kwazi took up the early pace, and blimey he must be in great shape as he was still up with the pack well into the run – great to see! There was a gentle downhill so I started running, knowing I was running comfortably, but knowing it wouldn’t last long – hopefully I could use checks and local knowledge to my advantage. I also know that Graven doesn’t like early checks, but seriously over 1km before the first check?!?! Scooby and Emmaroyde caught and overtook me commenting on there being something missing on the run so far…

As Scooby passed I stalled into the 100m tactic – let them get 100m (or so) ahead, and try to keep up around 100m behind the FRBs. Let them do the work and you reap the reward. Sure enough I got to the first check just as Scooby called it… The 2nd was a FT where Scooby hit the FT just as I hit the true trail junction. Keep it steady – while it was a tight narrow trail block them from overtaking, but then let them go ahead for the 100m lead. Sure enough I snagged another FT that way – but the impressive Kwazi was right behind – while his running seems good his hearing perhaps isn’t – we yelled “OnOn” and for some reason he still seemed confused.

At this point the whole trail was mapped. No offense hares – I’m sure many might be tricked by your checks, but I could have sat down and drawn the map – particularly as you’d said 8k in the hare brief. If I was in shape I would have loved it, but I’m not. We clearly couldn’t be turning right, so the only option was to go up to the main trail and head left – to get 8k out of it, it means going up to the top. I dragged my sorry ass up the hill with Titty Smoker slowly gaining and then passing, followed by Alice – it was single file with Scooby and Emma ahead. Semen Soars was there, but I didn’t take the chance to talk to him, but it was Able Semen (I think) that was next to pass.

I knew I was spent and I knew where I was. I had no intention of going up that last incline, so at the circle I turned left, and would you believe it? I found the yellow paper they’d set on Tuesday! Apparently they’d set a run on Tuesday, it then rained so they went to set a different run today. In the hare brief Graven waved around white and yellow paper, so without listening to him, I was legit following paper the hares had laid! This seemed like a much more preferable way to get back to the car, so I took it. I probably needed to hide in the forest another 10 minutes or so to convince Graven I hadn’t short cut, but he seemed happy enough that I was there.

I won’t be joining the CH4 for the next 4 months or so – I have work commitments. It is a great club though, and probably my favourite in Chiang Mai, but sadly it is focused now on retirees and vacationers – the decision last year to move the run start even earlier still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Will I join other hashes? I’m not sure… The Saturday hash would be ideal, but it is polluted by the Sups family. I think I may try to join the CGH3 for the exercise…

CGH3 – 9th May – Emma Royde

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A new runsite with a great shelter! Wow – I’ve been all over that area and never found that shelter! Emma clearly had little time to prepare to set the run, so looked back on his old tracks, notably a run I set some months back – luckily it was a great run then, and just as good in reverse today!

We set off and, I started jogging – it is a hilly area, so better to make use of the flat & downhill while it lasts. Nobody kept me company so I pressed on. The first check got me thinking straight away – there wasn’t really any options, but we’d just past a possible check point, so I was pretty sure where the ONIN would be.

There was silence behind me as I ran on – should I be walking? Another check and I decided to check off to the right – it was wrong. I was reluctant to go down the hill on the nice little trail I used before, but hey, it was that way, and I was back on trail. Shit – is he really just setting my run in reverse? He actually found a nicer connect for the next bit, and hell the next check screwed me over. There was a nice trail to the right, but no paper… a nice trail to the left, but no paper… perhaps straight up the hill the way I did, but no paper… Then Piggy was back with me, along with a pack and someone found paper 40m from the circle…

That was actually a really neat connect – I missed it when I’d scouted there, so it did make the run better than what I’d set! From here, it was clear what was coming… We had a hill to climb, and I would much prefer to be running down that hill! But, it was a nice work out, and I pressed on. Scooby and Bus Bitch were closing in on me for a while, but then suddenly there was silence behind. I know I got the checks right, but I was surprised that Scooby wasn’t right behind.

There was a great circle check – except that I knew where I was and where the trails went. Silence from behind, so I was away again. Not long after trail continued, but Ha! It would be a FT, so I turned right and sure enough found paper. Another circle and it had to be down to the right, sure enough I was on paper and figured from here I would be alone. There was another FT towards the end, which I salute, but didn’t get fooled. As I headed up the hill at the finish there was a fruity banana present, which I donated to HRA who sat out the run with the hare. Afterall, last time HRA did that run he seriously hurt himself!

30th April – CSH3 – Sloppy Rod & Mr. ???

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It’s been a while! I finally decided to head out to run with the CSH3 – the AGFU with a new incoming committee. I joined in the run, and then headed off. Gigalo Joe was straight into running, so I figured I’d follow suit. Poor bugger got screwed at the first check, and I was on my own ahead, well at least until the next check when I spotted Frozen stood a bit up the hill, and begrudgingly admitted he was on. Another check nailed.

The next check was a bit trickier – or rather it shouldn’t have been. Frozen just ignored it, while I spotted it down the hill a bit and tried following Frozen to no paper. I should have just gone to the check and followed the obvious trail next to it. That’s what Cool Balls did, and shortly after I was scampering along behind him. Gigalo Joe caught up again after the wimp rambo split and the trail took us up hill – a nice trail, just climbing and it was Foooking hot!

At the saddle, I sidestepped GJ and picked the trail heading more to the right, while he wanted the one to the left. Both were heading down the otherside of the hill, and honestly it was 50/50, but I just had a gut feeling about where the run was headed, and luckily my gut was correct! From there I nailed check after check, (to be fair they weren’t too hard to pick), and the voices faded behind as I ran along pleasant trails in the valley behind. All the time I was looking at the hill to my right that either we would have to go back over, or around the end – I was just hoping it was around the end.

At one point the trail was elaborately marked over some barbed wire, down a bit and into some dodgy ass little hut that who can imagine what horrors took place in. Today it was just a circle check, and I was happy to retreat back out and continue along the main trail.

A bit further along I finally got a check a bit wrong – knowing we needed to turn right at some point, this looked a bit more promising, but no joy. I was still ahead, but this time when I called ONON, I could just hear faint sounds of people behind. Man it was hot. The next check was a bastard – well over 100m. I got it right, but aborted and traversed to the left before I got to the paper. That was a deadend, so I was just making my way back when Just Cuming called the ONON – along with some expletives about it being a long check. I fortunately cut in ahead of him and continued.

The pack were on my tail though and the heat was having an effect. We hit the road, and the easiest option would be to just run back down the road to the car and safety of air con. I tried to accelerate, but then a circle. I wanted to keep going down the road, but I knew Sloppy wouldn’t do that, so it had to be off the road, so a little bit of scramble/shiggy over to some guys elaborate tomb. Now Turkey was breathing down my neck, and passing me, with Piggy & Just Cumming.

OK, I was hot, and tired. A couple of months off running and I’ve lost some speed and stamina. Another check, straight on again, but now Turkey was crushing it. Another check, and I thought we’d just passed a trail, but behind me was Willy Walls and Skiddy, so I just idled for a while waiting for someone to call it. Nobody did, and apparently nobody had checked the trail we’d just passed, so I went back and sure enough found some paper.

I’d got nearly 7k at this point, so surely just one last push and it would be over? One check I went straight to paper, so back over the road and another check. A 50/50 – right or left? I went left, and checked to around 120m (there had been a long check before). No sounds from anywhere else, but I suspect people were still regrouping after the back check. I spotted some white paper a bit ahead, so carried on to investigate. A kicked out circle… Definitely too far away to be trail, and why was it kicked out? It had to be the wimp trail, damnit! Then I spotted hashers to the right, ok whatever – I’ll rejoin them by the OnIn.

Good run, but someone should turn down the thermostat. I guess that is the job for the new GM! Good luck!