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17th Oct – CH4 – Bend Over

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Happy Happy Happy Hash! Bendover chose to sent us on the way to Sameong, in order to come back close to the canal road football field. I can’t complain too much – I hit 6 straight green lights on canal road – I should buy a lottery ticket!

After the harebrief, we set off into the nice cut through – I always wonder about that cut through – who built it? It must be man made. Anyway, I jogged along and superhuman Tasty was alongside and then just ahead at the first circle. No options – a cliff to the right, dense jungle to the left. Tasty carried on – I loitered and called for those behind to start checking, but nobody could spot a trail. No call from Tasty, so as the last of the back markers got to the check, I went back 150m or so to find trail heading off down the hill.

I was ahead for a while, and hit a circle near the road. As I checked back to the left, I saw the hare cruising past in his truck – I suspect trail wasn’t yet in place, but either way it wasn’t where I was looking, but had time to get back to Cartoon and Pussy Whisperer as trail was found further on the road. A V-check, and I was right, but here a breakaway formed with Tasty, Brownie and Graven. I held on to them for quite a while as we looped around on some nice, well marked trail. Good checks, but I managed to get to the checks as the others found trail.

At the W/R split, I decided to save my legs for tomorrow, and took the shorter route home. Good job!

26th Sept – CH4 – Brownie (& Tasty)

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To Obkhan and the hex shelter, close to the end of the universe! By some miracle, I hit green lights at almost every junction and bringing Terror Byte along we were in good time for the run. A v. small turnout though, bolstered by a late appearing returning Anyone.

We set off into the garden centre, with Terrorbyte excited to be back on trail, leading the way for a short while. Soon enough Chuckie took over, and then I started stringing some checks together. Tasty was out on trail despite being the hare – sweeping is one thing, but overtaking front runners… hmmmz… Lucky she was there though as large parts of the trail had been taken down along one of the mainer trails, and I’m not sure we would have found it otherwise – we stood more chance of finding the way back instead.

I led the way as we climbed a little hill, and then broke off onto some great running trails back down the hill. The checks were where I was confident I was correct, and junctions that would have been doubtful were marked through. So things were going well until we once again ran out of paper, and Tasty was there to tell us there should have been a false trail ahead.

As we got close to home, CW and Cartoon were breathing down my neck – the last check I saw had CW follow me, so I checked determinedly until I found the out trail paper and headed back missing out on an extra km detour. A nice route on some trails that I haven’t been on for a while. Not keen on a hare being out on trail, but today it might have been a problem without it. When trail has been removed previously the pack has always found a way of solving it!

9/9/2019 – CH3 – HRA

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

It was Delboy’s 43rd birthday and what surprises and treats would HRA have in store for us?
Plenty as it happened…

Would he rehash his last run? No! He sneakily rehashed one of Cumalot’s from a year ago instead!

Potato Head got the first check right and in very splashable style waved his arms up and down on the road yelling, “Paper here! I’ve found it!”

We soon turned for the forest on the right and here I blitzed 3 or 4 checks heading up into the Doi. Cartoon found the 5th to the right as I blundered about in the trees well away to the left and by the time I’d got back, half the plodde…also-ra….pack had passed me.

The loping ABB stepped aside as I jogged along the lovely forest trail, Pussy Whisperer too, but Piggy shimmied this way and that upon my polite call of, “Passing left please!”
“Which left do you mean?” he barked.
“ The other left!”
‘FO grandad!’ he’s getting next time!

Cartoon was nailing checks and Delboy although the stronger runner, was taking the duff options then catching up. As we came to another circle near properties, he went straight on the best trail. I went right around a garden fence while the lemmings followed best option Del, apart from honest Krapthai who went left.

Paper! I called Onon and put my (newish) Decathlons to the road. At the next corner I was on again after yet another circle and followed concrete for another few hundred meters. Shit. No paper. Go back. Double shit. FT partially hidden.
Leaving the strips on the fence, I turned into an orchard 50m back and bingo! A left, left box in the woods brought me back almost to where I’d turned back after the FT. I really pushed myself to keep ahead and couldn’t credit I was ahead of Delboy.
Back along familiar trail and a sharp left through a bamboo gate. Cartoon missed this but Del didn’t and caught me in the forest about 10m shy of the powder OnIn.
We ran in together to a wave from HRA.
Super run and 5.4km for me in decent time.
Capt Kagan enjoyed Frozen Morgan’s Spicy Rum and ABB excoriated all the non drinkers for getting sloshed.
Back at MadDog, the ever inventive Pussy W suggested a breathalyzer test be applied to all hashers after the circle to determine their Hash fee on a sliding scale.
A suggestion deserving of serious AGFU consideration.
Onon and HBFU Delboy.
Alice

2nd Sept – CH3 – Emma Royde

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Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Oh dear. The RA certainly fixed it for me. Like Jimmy Bleedin’ Savile fixed shit. Soaked thru for 30 mins on the drive in and home, and same same during the run. Nice weather for ducks as my old man would say. And fcuking idiot hashers on motorbikes too!

Arriving just pre-hare brief, I glimpsed Emma Royde’s snazzy ERII checks and heard there was W-R split. Eggelen chimed in both my knees together.

On the way out ShSh, Frozen and self were at the rear again and considering the big questions of the day. Was that gate aluminum or aluminum? Was it painted or anodized? Lucky the rain cooled my fevered brain as ShSh and FD demonstrated how we Brits and Septics are indeed two peoples, separated by a common language.

The rain fell even heavier and we turned off into orchards and then forest. Tiptoe and Rooter were ahead meandering this way and that in search of clear paper and trail.
Finding a damp strip I yelled OnOn! and realized Rooter wasn’t aware of our presence as he breakdanced like 10,000 V had just gone up his leg.

The ground softening, I headed on alone along flooding muddy trails until I got to checks where I checked and returned to the others, sometimes to give them the right info and sometimes not, as returning to a check discombobulated me somewhat. Was it left or the other left? Fcuk, I’m confused!

It really was something, shallow streams flowing along the forest paths and pools forming in dips. Still it hammered down and soon we were returning to the settled area and the A site at the cock ring shelter.

A few sick, lame and idle bastards were already there so we swapped excuses and waited for the pack to return.

ShSh headed off for another loop having told me my knee issues are all to do with wrong shoes and being too heavy for them. Sauce!

The circle was enjoyable with Piggy, Belly and ABB along with HRA the GM entertaining us with their wit, ribaldry and general character assassination. Saying that, I did get a sharp intake of breath when I contrasted clean living, upstanding hasher Pussy Whisperer with Purple Fart, the hasher most likely to breed with another species!

Rather wonderfully Tom Callahan the Co-Hare didn’t know what a brolly was, so eventually we settled on his Hash handle as Mary Poppins, to raucous cheers. Piggy did the honours in style, an MC of some talent, weddings, award nights and circumcisions a speciality I hear.
Great set in a lovely area with a shelter fit for circles – and for cockfighting! Well done Emma and Mary Poppins!

Chim-chimney, chim-chimney, chim chim cheroo…keep your fcuking shorts on next time, Skiddy please do!

30th August – CH4 – HRA

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Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

By Alice

Well ffs, it’s his area, his bloody shelter, so what did we expect? A Poo run or even worse a Horny Monkey FU?
No, it was HRA at his knavish, conniving best, mixing trickery with fuckery, added to a firm grasp of geography! Yep I enjoyed it, although my left knee and Achilles disagree.

The first section in the woods he’s used a year or two back and I didn’t know where we were going until we reached a red gravel steep decline where Angry Inch tried to top himself.
TmB and Byte were out ahead and checks were done when I arrived, having enjoyed ShSh’s ergonomic and economic comparison of Decathlon and Saloman footwear.

Frozen Dick also started at the back with us but he was tired after the gym so dropped back quickly.

I started to see and hear Pussy W, Krapthai and Pigshite up ahead but didn’t quite catch up until we’d wiggled down the hillside and across the narrow valley to the hillside on the other side where the hare led us on the raised path into the forest and steep down to the track again.
From about half way I could have got home in half the time but played the game and enjoyed the unpredictability of HRA’s twists, turns and jerks.
Along the valley I felt good and passing Pussy Whisperer called out “Let the runners run!”Knowing this was probably a prelude to a painful face plant or bamboo impalement, I wended my way carefully, allowing him to pass me somehow a few times further on as I checked wrong.
TmB found trail to the left through a property but the dogs and tiredness compelled me to jog around the loop and sure enough there she was 5 min later exiting onto my trail.
The next check at the V had her heading to GC Rd and I went left round the loop back towards the Doi. Could it be the sneaky cut thru aka HRA alley? Yes it was, but I stayed on paper to the FT and retraced my steps ripping down the strips and indicating the turn. Emma Royde caught up about here and my pants fell down, with bottle and cap inside my shorts. TmB turned around to see the re-arrangement dance and it wasn’t pretty.

Back towards the Doi and options for the hare. I chose Doi again – wrong – and TmB somehow found the next check before she found paper.
Emma went down, TmB went back left forest and Alice went overgrown field and Onon!
The next check was also a head scratcher and it was called back in the Doi. I shadowed at a lower level then rejoined after 300m.
The run in was welcomed but not the sight of PW ahead of me AGAIN! Loping, long legged sealhacker be damned!
Relaxed circle and lovely splashes from Laid Back and TmB.
Top set from HRA and enjoyable domestic with Cumalot over the missing haberdashery and other responsibilities etc.

26th August – CH3 – Alice

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Rating: 6.7/10 (3 votes cast)

It was out in Sankampaeng, near the ‘airplanes’ – I’ve never made it to a run here, so it was clear early on that the likes of Cartoon had some advantage. I arrived with enough time to get changed, grab a bottle of water, but unfortunately the over exuberant hare had set them off already, but it wasn’t far around the corner when I started picking off the walkers – Libbers, Tiptoe, Frozen etc.

It was going to be flat, and wet and it wasn’t long before we were dancing over flooded waterways. I was back with the pack well before the first of the beerstops – here I went the wrong way, so was catching up again as we ran along the road. Trail turned right at a junction with no check, which was immediately suspicious. Up ahead the likes of Cartoon and Skiddy were paused, but then carried on, but without any call that I heard. When I got 80m down the trail there was a circle. Typical – if only someone had called. By now they had scattered onwards, so I turned around and went back to the road – here Belly got a slight advantage over me and HRA and he put in a bit of a jog. We chased him down as the road went through some ricefields.

Again my radar was suspicious, and I spotted something whitish off to the left and decided to check it out, even with Cartoon calling from behind me that he could see the paper going straight on – presumably to a false trail, but you’d need to hide it a bit better to trick me. Here we got onto quite a nice trail that was headed back in the general direction of A with a creek on the left. HRA, Cartoon and I took turns until a check visible the other side of a metal bridge. The construction of the bridge was clearly very stable, but it was rusty, and my hatred of bridges took me a while to brave crossing it, even with a second beer stop just on the other side!

A second beer stop – what a treat! The pack was a bit ahead of me heading back towards the road, and I suspected my chances were over. I forced myself to jog, and found I was feeling better than I have recently – hopefully early signs that my fitness is returning? Sheep Shagger ran past the turning off the road, and then we were following Cartoon who was suddenly off paper up ahead – I looked to my right, and there was the false trail. Back a few steps and into an alley, when SS called it, I darted past and hit the front with Cartoon splashing through the mud to my right. Around the corner, we must be close by now and I was flowing along, until another FT. Damnit! Those following me turned around as well, and all ran past a turning at the back of the temple – I ducked into it, and sure enough there was paper and it was just a short way around the temple and I spotted my car and the A site on my right.

Nice one!

22nd August – CH4 – Cartoon

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Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

By Alice

The RA didn’t quite manage to do his duty with the weathergods and the hare thought a straw sunshade was a good enough rain shelter. Didn’t Cartoon ever hear what happened to the little piggies when the big bad wolf blew on the house of straw?
Well the little group of hashers were likewise compromised when the heavens opened and the circle was short and mostly sweet, apart from some new hasher singing a hash version of Livin’ on a Prayer for a down down song. Liked the chorus mind, just the preamble could be dropped next time.
So Cartoon likes SKP. He lives there and sets runs from his front garden so it was said.
Well he knew a pretty good route and we were the ones who were rooted. Small pack, easy enough checks and super well marked….. er, not quite.
TMB started off as the only runner but some of us jogged along in her wake catching up when the FT and circle checks got her. Which they did often.
ABB, Pussy Whisperer and self made the second string FRB team and even sometimes took the lead.
Paper was sometimes sparse in areas you needed to see more and I struggled a few times just following trail when on. Finding the 2nd paper after a check was harder than the first on occasion. Never mind, the rain made it cool, the “flat run with a view” promised a hill naturally and delivered. It was hard work puffing up and a check in a ravine had me bashing a gulley to the right while TMB and ABB went straight and found trail but I didn’t hear – and the circle was unbroken.
Catching TMB at the saddle, she was returning with strips from a FT, I found a small forest path but no go. As I turned I espied paper on the trees flanking the monks’ steps and yelled OnOn loudly at least thrice back up the steps. Skipping down with heavy waterlogged gators and worried about slipping, I got to the bottom and nailed the next check too. TMB didn’t hear and I wondered where she’d got to!
Down I came and although I lost paper a few times, I managed to re-join trail with some intelligent guesswork. My followers would have an equally hard time of it I surmised.
The canal reassured me I was close ish and a few paperless sections were minor worries as I jogged fairly strongly homewards. Suddenly a sodden chalk arrow soon I was looking at the big lake. No sign if I should go left or right so I retraced the out trail clockwise around the lake only to be asked by the hare if I’d done the walkers’ trail. Fcuker!
6.4km nice trail and then 20km home on the bike in the pissing rain.
Welcome back to CM ☔️

15th August – CH4 – Emma Royde

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A run in Maerim? It’s been a while since we’ve been running there, so I was excited that my lab finished early enough that I could make it… Dashed out of the room to the car, only to find I had forgotten my shoes, so had to swing by the house on the way to the A. Fortunately I had enough time, even though the A was much further than expected… Tucked away in a spot I had never been to before.

We had visitors and virgins – nearly as many as regulars! After a brief chat and harebrief we were set off – while I’ve been trying to get into the habit of walking at the start, it was downhill so I tried to shake out my sore legs from yesterday’s exercise. At the bottom of the hill a circle – I looked left and saw a gate, so turned right and headed around the corner – I was on. And this process continued for some time – The pack of visitors were clearly faster than me, but they spent their time holding hands, cuddling etc. at the checks, so I was staying ahead and just kept guessing right. Poor Cartoon behind me was left with 2nd or 3rd choice each time.

Finally after 4km, the visitor couple caught me up, overtook and had first choice at the check. It was so sweet as they didn’t want to leave each other, but were forced to check different trails. Ever the gentleman, when he found the trail he waited for others to catch up before running off. By this point, I was happy walking in the pleasant countryside – and was quite content when I saw the cars before I got to the 7km promised by the hare! Good run all on trails that were new to me!

25th July – CH4 – Sheep Shagger

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SS likes going off on long runs, so expectations were high that we would have long one, with plenty of good runnable trails! It’s been a while since I’ve been out at the quarries on the left of Sameong road, and some things have changed a little. We set off the wrong way around the small lake by the temple – it maybe added an extra 100m or so, and meant we had to go through the long grass. Then a circle check by the temple.

I headed straight on and around to the right towards the other exit of the temple, and sure enough, eventually I saw paper. At the exit there was a V check, and this time I got it wrong, so was behind much of the pack as we went down into the quarry – once upon a time the trail was quite wide, now it was a narrow balance beam with a death defying drop off either side – I didn’t enjoy it much, and ended up inching my way along on my ass.

After climbing up the other side, I caught up when the FRBs came back from a false trail. We were now limited as to where the trail might go, and another circle had me checking maybe 140m before I found the paper. We headed through a gate at a clutch point – I wondered how we would get back, and as CW caught up we chatted about why there was no check. We continued with no checks – no wonder the hare had plenty left over for the hare brief.

Trail seemed to stop, and then continued up a steep climb, looping around in a circle. Then a sign saying go back following pink paper. We ignored it, and followed CW & Piggy ass they called “ON Rambo”, taking us back along the trail we’d already been on. Finally we went back and followed the pink paper back to the A – almost 4km in length – wow! Rainy season – could probably have done with a shelter!

22nd July – CH3 – Cartoon

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We were back out at the San Kampaeng lake to see what Cartoon would give us this time. I set off walking with CW & Emmaroyde, but it was quite a way before we got a check, so in the end we started jogging. Finally a check, and we carried on up and over the little hill where the dirt bikes often play around, and from there we were onto the trail along the side of the hill – would we turn right into the rice fields, or left over the hill?

A false trail slowed us down as it seemed that the trail continued forwards from it, just off to the left. HRA seemed on good form as he led the way for a while. It was decision time, and we were right by the last real option for going over the hill – TMB’s trail – sure enough Emmaroyde led the way, a little bit ahead of CW and me. Its a bit of a push to get up, scrambling over the rocks.

Back down the other side, and CW was leading the way to the left – I took the easier route along the road, and rejoined at another circle. We were on the way back now, but there were still choices – a false trail, I’d called before we got to it, but still the hare managed to catch us out at the canal, as we didn’t expect to go back in on the out trail – sneaky.