Category Archives: CSH3 – Write Ups

29th June – CSH3 – Turkish Delight

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Rating: 9.0/10 (1 vote cast)

The Sloppy Rod called me in the morning to ask where we would go to run today, and we both agreed that sometimes Turkey sets good trails, and given the runsite (near Canal Road Football Field) he couldn’t go far wrong….

A fairly big turnout, and nice to see Crazy Crack & Ravenous again – along with a rather exhibitionist smoking friend. We set off on familiar trails and immediately there was a sharp right towards a “mostly deadend” – the resulting FT just meant all the FRBs were stuck behind the rest of the pack along a single trail.

After a while we were able to run, and promptly hit another false trail and a few more checks as we made our way along the bottom of the hill. Then we started the climb – I was surprised why a few hashers ran past me up the wide road, only to then walk ahead of me down the single track, but it was ok – obviously a hill was coming and I needed to pace myself. Up ahead the checks were pretty much straight on, and CW was leading the way with Doesn’t Get It putting in a fine performance!

Near the top, I caught up a bit as Crazy Crack was telling everyone that the left had already been checked… – I didn’t believe it, and sure enough found paper and was ahead for once, with Sloppy and Doesn’t Get It traversing to catch me. Finally at the peak we turned left ready for the descent, which was a little treacherous, and I took my time, while CW flew past racing with Sloppy.

I followed down the hill, and it seemed they were skipping along holding hand at the checks as they weren’t helping the chasing pack. We came out onto the road and I spied them running together having checked the wrong way – they weren’t holding hands… I hit the road maybe 30-40m behind them, but they were on a mission and started pulling away, while behind me the pack drifted further back. Finally trail led off to the left – an absolute 100% false trail! Sure enough, I rounded the corner back on paper, and the pair of them tried to catch me as we continued onin down the road.

The checks could have been trickier, but the route was nice!

22nd June – CSH3 – Just Cumming

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Rating: 7.0/10 (5 votes cast)

I don’t think the GM likes us… Today was one of the hottest days – not a cloud in the sky, I’d dread to think what it must have been like for him setting it during the day! 😮

Given the runsite, it was unlikely to be flat – JC came to apologise to me before anything else! I remember Big Top setting a run from here – or rather attempting to set a run, and having all kinds of problems… A ball breaker some years ago was from the same place as well… It would take some skill to put together something decent! Sloppy was confident JC would pull it off.

We set off up the road… – maybe a km of tarmac, with the emphasis on “UP”. It was all up… The first check, everyone went right, and left me, CW & Sloppy ambling slowing along the road, chatting and waiting to be called back. But there was paper, and I found myself leading the way up the road. Not long later I found myself following Skiddy up a steeeeeeeep hill with the sun pounding down on my back.

It improved slightly when we entered the tree line, but the hill was hardly started. I trudged on, praying it would soon be over, but it was relentless. On top, there was some decent trails, and I imagined running them, but sadly my legs were jelly by the time we got there. There was some good views, and some agility required to navigate a pipe rather than a trail, and when it came to the downhill bit, it was over far too fast.

That must have taken a lot of effort to put together!

15th June – CSH3 – Skidmark

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Rating: 4.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Sloppy called me this morning and suggested there might be some nice trails around where Skiddy was going to set the run – there might be, maybe one day we will find out! The directions to the runsite deserve an award for the most complex ever – I’ve driven past this spot on the way to one of my preferred spots, so ignored the directions and went my own way.

The hare brief wasn’t. But finally we got off and ran down the “runway” from the air adventures center. It was out into the ricefields – fortunately out of season, but it meant the first km or so was pretty miserable scrambling along. Through an orchard and out onto the road. Luckily it wasn’t thaaat hot, and my fitness seemed comparable to the pack. We went past a deserted hotel, that once I was considering using for a halloween run. For a while we were on what seemed like the abandoned roads of a potential moobaan.

A bit too much tarmac, but I somehow got to the front where a check was clearly missing, and here Turkish led CW astray and I managed to stay ahead for a while. That was until getting a check very badly wrong, and instantly the pack was together and looking confused at a busy crowded market – we could have been in the city!

A bit more road, and then back across the paddies – on a nicer trail this time. CW was way ahead the other side of the field, but I made my best efforts alongside Turkish. A good 7.5km of exercise that my body desperately needs.

4th May – CSH3 – Skidmark

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By Alice

Frozen Dick was kvetching that he isn’t able to solve checks with the FRBs. Well Frozen you missed your big chance. This was a ZINGER with FRBs, mid pack, DFLs all milling about checking here and there TOGETHER for about 30 minutes at the second check. Which turned out to be the last check on the wimp trail. It wasn’t much fun. Walkers mostly standing in the shade as every avenue was explored and re-explored further and further to no avail.

Shagless appeared and yelled:The hare said it was to the right. But we were at the WRONG 2nd/last check not the first. Total fcuk up. We checked every which right, front, back and even the other right.
Eventually saw bodies in the woods: Snail trail, Chatterbox, ABB, Shagless. They’d found the 2nd LAST check going the wrong way and dropped paper going further into the woods. There was only a couple of strips to be found. Then nothing. Total fcuk up.

I jogged back to the resort. 3.9km of total fuck up in 35 minutes. Cartoon and Blows tried to follow paper into the woods. Wrong move. They were back shortly afterwards.
I plopped in the pool.

1. Newly returning hares to be paired with experienced local hares on their first run back.
2. Social services to be alerted if Skidmarks takes virgin hare Potato Head again to ‘teach’ him how to set trail.
3. Cuckold to be informed his Mae Jo endless run has possibly lost its place on the roll of honour.
4. 3 strips per 100m of trail minimum to become legal requirement. Punishable with water down downs or ice time equivalent to time wasted looking while on trail.
5. Prayer.

4th May – CSH3 – Skid Mark

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The pollution dipped a little, so I decided to head out to the CSH3 under the new GMship of Just Cuming. Fucking Hell it is hot out there! Ban Pong resort – a nice spot to run from, and it was Skiddy’s return haring – what would he bring back from his experiences in Canada?

The hare brief was nearly longer than the run! The hare explained a new Hook check – not sure that will be popular, but hey! Finally we were off, and KO and I strolled along the lane discussing the “new” check – I’d seen it before in UK, and didn’t really have fond memories of it. Anyway, we got to a circle, and I loped off to the left while KO went to the right. It was hot, and I was reluctant to put too much effort in. TMB, Sloppy and some others scattered in the same general direction as me, and then we all spotted paper a bit to the left. There wasn’t much paper, but it did have today’s run number on it, and with a little bit of effort we found another circle.

Here TMB went to the right – which kinda made sense. I went left and just around the corner found paper! Not much paper, but that seemed to be the MO today. 50m further and then “ONIN”! WTF? Paper leading back down the road to the resort, and another couple of large ONINs to bring us in the back entrance!

7 minutes after setting off, I ran down the carpark to an incredulous Skiddy! I assured him I hadn’t done the Wimp Trail – I hadn’t even seen a Wimp Trail! A short diagnosis showed we had gone wrong at the first check, as the Wimp Trail was too close.

Sloppy and Tasty joined me as we headed out again – it was just like Saturdays for the past year with just the 3 of us out there! It seems the rest of the pack mostly aborted and went to look at the lake instead. Meanwhile we went back to the first check, and after a concerted effort we found the trail off it – past some cows, that was probably a lot trickier than the hare expected.

Eitherway we were off, and the three of us headed into the valley. A V-check – but no trail marked off it – the bizarre marking kept holding Tasty up, and Sloppy and I plodded along behind her admiring our beerguts. Tasty came running back when she saw the confusing “Hook” check – it looked like a U-turn, so that’s what she did! When we got closer there was the number 4…. Hmmmmz… there were only 3 of us. One option would be to wait for someone else to show up? Or run all the way back to the resort to drag someone out to join us? Or to simply ignore it and carry on – ultimately when you see the U-turn, you don’t U-turn, you just keep going?!

Another circle, and when Tasty had gone 120m, she turned back and saw paper next to me at around 100m – it was another check – (circle to circle?). Previously we’ve been up the hill straight on, but that path looked overgrown, while a newer trail appeared to lead off to the left. Once again we found a little bit of paper, and it dropped us down into the creek bed, and gave us a good 500-700m of rough shitty scramble to get out. Knowing the area, Tasty and I climbed up to the marginally nicer trail above the creek bed, and made out way down again. In the past year we’ve regularly met out in this area, and have networked the trails exhaustively, so there were few surprises left.

Tasty got a bit of a lead, and sat waiting for us at a nice picnic table as the two fat blokes were suffering in the heat. It was enough – time to head in for a beer. As fuckups go, it was memorably monumental!

6th April – CSH3 – Shrek

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The biggest problem for Shrek seemed to be the A site with a ditch being dug which made entry to the property difficult. However, adversity being the muddafucka of invention, he worked out you could enter thru the trees just off the road and so it came to pass.
Shrek laid a very fair 5.5km route on super well known trails for me, but perhaps 30% known to him. Always interesting what hares do in an area you know well. Only HRA has set here and repeatedly surprised me with his cut throughs, hidden paths and sneaky joins unknown to man and most beasts.
Well I knew every step of this run but definitely not the order Shrek put it together!
Due to the shite air, i was never going to run in 200 AQI but walking meant I was able to get close to FRBs Blows and Obscene when Shrek’s best checks came into play.
It was overcast, smoggy and dusty all run, but much of it was in burnt forest which will be really nice after the rains. Up we went towards the doi and right at the first corner. Into the forest valley with no check made me suspicious we might return down the almost parallel track. Suddenly FT was called and I ducked up a small ravine I’d found scouting with Yankoffalot in 2016. It was steep and slippery as the stones rolled but I knew we’d get to the ridge path so I followed a path more direct but off paper. As I rejoined trail, Pussy complimented me on great long cutting!
Up the ridge we went to the three way check. Fresh Meat went straight for 50m and just stopped listening and hoping. Lazy Cloggy bastard poorly trained by Cartoon.
Blows found trail left and down we went to the valley. Here was Shrek’s best check with not right as expected, not left as I checked despite reservations, but thru the orchard and down into the gates of hell ravine and up the other side! That bunched the pack back up a bit!
On the other side we turned left for home then jackknifed back up Piggy trail up a forested spur. At the check at the top I expected a sharp left and back down, and so did Capt Hook. When OnOn was called right, he just kept going down and short cut home!
At the next junction higher up we did go left and down out of the doi onto the familiar looping path back towards Canyon View. At the V I reckoned left, but I was wrong again as Shrek took us not thru HRA alley but down to the road past the tip quarry and through the open field.
Tiptoe came in last and alone after 1:20 maybe, Cartoon and Fresh Meat left pre-circle as did Cumalot and son. A short circle is a good circle, and so it proved with Superman closing proceedings after 29 minutes. Let’s hope that catches on!

24th November – CSH3 – Blows Herself & Knockout

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I was planning to go for a run out in San Kampaeng anyway, so when KO promised a longer run, I figured I would give it a go. I even took along a virgin who’s comment after was that she expected more running, and less standing around at checks! Erm…… ok!

Today seemed hot, so we debated just jumping in the pool at Ban Pong instead, but dutifully set off for the run. After getting the first check wrong I was following the hare on her trail, and pondered why she suddenly stopped while the trail crossed the canal. Moments later a circle check was called ahead, so obviously we were back this side of the canal, and it wasn’t long before I ducked down a trail and was back on paper. Another check had Sloppy following me, as there really wasn’t any other way to go. We hit the road, and again Sloppy followed me to the right… – I confess, having driven to Ban Pong before the run, I did have some inside information here, so I was off and going well. So well, that I didn’t bother going to the next check, I just continued on trail.

Poo caught up, overtook and then slowed as we both ran into a false trail. Damnit! There was a decent pack back together, and after a couple of twists, somehow Poo got back to the front and led HRA for a while as every check went straight into the guts of the mountain. Finally it wasn’t straight on, and it didn’t surprise me to see Sloppy heading up to the right (go left here and it would be a very long run into Ban Pong valley). Sloppy took over the lead and I followed him along one of my favourite “hidden” trails. There was a check that forced me back a little, but soon enough we emerged at the shelter on the ridge. Sloppy was playing games with the pack – he knew as well as I did where the trail was going to go, but he let them catch up to force someone to go up the hill. As soon as he called circle check, I peeled off to the right and chased after him as he sprinted towards the stairs. I passed HRA on the stairs, and found Sloppy waiting for me at the bottom – I told him I was going straight whatever he did, and so we jogged out through usual way out. I did follow him at another check, but then past him at another Wimp Rambo split.

Set off down the hill, I ran into another FT. Damnit! There was such an obvious trail back to the right, but that just goes down to where the Wimps had already gone. I set off back along the trail, and when people saw me with the FT, they took off down the wrong side. I lucked out and managed to stay ahead with only a couple more checks to nail before getting to the Beer! A great first half!

Setting off on the 2nd part, we were near the regular lake by the entrance to Alpine golf course – a circle check and perhaps my virgin didn’t call loudly enough when she found trail – meanwhile HRA & Brownie found some powder from one of Cartoon’s runs and added a lap of the lake to their experience! Meanwhile Cartoon who lives around the corner found a nice shortcut for himself. Suckit & I followed Heather up past the temple, onto an area that had no trails and once Sloppy had finished his beer he caught up. It was a messy scramble, until we got down to trails again. From here we had to navigate past some cows, along the tarmac and then through some rough freshly harvested rice fields. The first half was much better, but a great effort overall!

22nd September – CSH3 – Emma Royde

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Rating: 6.3/10 (3 votes cast)

By Alice.

It’s been about 8-10 years since I hashed in this area out past the X Centre and probably 13 since I met Gibberish. Was it worth the wait? You betcha!

Emma Royde (and mystery wtf are you co-hare Silla Chow) set a blinding 7 km undulating trail on wide runnable paths through the farms, orchards and fields of Mae Ram that is up there with the best Saturday runs of the year.

I started gingerly, feeling the 7km hike from Friday and no stretches. KO and the kids scampered happily and Purple Fart was happy to have a similarly shaped but smaller athlete alongside.
Gibberish was back, and like Shrek, no one ever asks the derivation of his name. Little brother Hash Broon was keen but equally unintelligible. The look on peoples’ faces when they tried to understand our Glaswegian brothers in hash was priceless.

Hash Brown didn’t call when checking and confused Deep Throat by waving like a demented Max Bygraves on acid. Angry Inch perfected his go 2 metres short of the On On paper and turn round shtick. It’s very effective.

The pack spread out as the trail wound its way round the beautiful area. Clear white strips and well positioned checks made for clear marking. FRBs and your humble scribe were given extra strips to help with joining the circle check to true trail. Think I still had most of them by the end.

Deep Throat asked after 35 minutes u were we on the Runners or Walkers trails? He’d missed the early split sign, as did Purple apparently, far too joyous at having a mini me for company with cuddly lurv handles alongside.

One sharp turn at a check and we were down a path with a marked but easily missable left turn into the trees. I missed it and got suspicious seeing no paper ahead. Deepthroat too but he found the turn and we cut down to a lower level and out into more open grasslands then wide tracks between houses with big gardens back to the A bucket.

If you missed it, you missed a cracker!

23rd June – CSH3 – Alice

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By Alice

So who was the mystery underage hare? Well after Alice left his phone at home and messed up the pick up, no-one will ever
know but he was underemployed for sure as Alice set alone in the hot sun from 1:30-4pm.
A half decent sized pack with some visitors, yay! So nice to welcome visitors and returnees, although there are some exceptions.

Trails was marked in striking pink and walkers cut out in the white backs of same. Alice trialled Turkey Trails. Basically you can ignore them or when you see white strips with Turkey heads follow ’em and they may lead you into the wild green yonder and a FT bar or they may connect to trail and be the right way!

The pack set off down the lane to the lakes area. I heard Check! and was happy it took a bit of time to hear OnOn! Through the west side of the property and after another circle there was a FT alongside the fence when it looked like you could go through. Here Major General Turkish Delight apparently barked orders like Edogan on speed and KO was commanded to slither down a steep bank and check out an unpromising route. Lucky for her she was on!
Around the lanes and up into the Doi and a V in the forest where the wrong fork deep into the trees was taken by man in tights Emma Royde. True trail was up to the ridge and a FT right that caught Mr Poo. Back down the ridge and into think bush. Here Alice saw paper from ER’s wrong fork while setting so looped around right. Thankfully no one saw it on the run. Down through shiggy and out into the sunlight and an open grassy area. A circle had most pushing forwards towards a building on the other side of a lake. KO took the steep hill and shouted OnOn gleefully after about her 6th piece of paper!
Meanwhile the walkers had continued straight up and over the hill missing the Doi but scaring the shit out of the herd of cows who according to Superman destroyed their corral and ran amok. Apparently Superman and his group, Capt Hook and his lad etc took the left path avoiding the crazed bovines.

Back across the road the FRBs finally came upon the Beer Stop, after Alice had heard minutes of Onon and Circle check calls. Emma messed them all up but HRA found paper and was first in, Anywan and Emma plus Poo in the leading group. James, soon to be named Whiney the Poo, was doing his usual effective powerwalk and just behind the leaders. Cartoon and Kelvin puffed up and visitor In Denial and Mai were running well. Various paths thru the forest took runners home, some were even on trail, Poo’s Strava revealing his excellent hash behaviour. Chilly Pussy was last man past the Beer Stop but those who took the road and missed the amber will be shamed and not named.
Poo had 7 and Emma Royde had 7+km. Superb itch had 4.5 on the shorter route. Bit difficult to judge when you set without benefit of a phone!

12th April – CH4 – ABB & Purple Pink Pipe Player

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Rating: 8.7/10 (3 votes cast)

Mae Jo 13 th April
Admonished Blue Beard
& Purple Pink Pipe Player
A fine attempt to set a trail in
this well hacked and hackneyed area.
The master of many a Bangkok run had used
The exercise to initiate the Purple Player into
All things hash. First, you lay shredded paper all
Over the trail. Then, you pick it all up again and put
It back in the bag. There is nothing like Proper
Planning is there Admonished? Poor Purple had
No idea if he was coming or going. “D'ya know
what I mean”? The Hare brief was delivered in ABB ’s unique and delightful
style. “There are Only circle checks. 360 possible directions for the trail to
continue. No V checks. No powder. No wait, the Onion is in powder”.
No one listened.
However the trail, set around, In and through the Mae Jo maze
was a joy to run. For the runners anyway.
It seemed there was one circle check at the beginning and one at the end.
That was true but there were several more on route if the Half-wits took the
Trouble to open their eyes and look. The Admonished Master seems to have
a predilection for back checks. Tasty, Brownie, Chuckie and Strangely took it in
turns to be caught out time and time again. The Brown man, marginally ahead
on correct trail. Graven however had taken off, so far off trail “ looking”, that
he decided to use the run as a scouting mission.
Meanwhile the frbees consisted of a reasonably close group including;
Chuckie, Brownie, Tasty, Anyone, Carton & Strangely. All seemed to be
enjoying the freedom of lengthy stretches of open running.

The direction didn’t seem to matter. They were happy.
Most of us had 6K on the nose. Which was probably sufficient on a very hot and humid afternoon.
The trail had been set to keep the pack together.
It mostly succeeded. Pussy Whisperer bringing up
the rear mumbled something about circles not being kicked out.
Frbees? Not kicking out circles? I wouldn’t have thought that possible.
Surely he was mistaken ?
Once in, the proceedings continued at a fair gallop. The circle was held together by the usual prowess
of ABB and Graven. Most of the pack were brain dead. Exhausted by the stifling heat.
The highlight was Lunglau, our devoted and hard working driver come dogsbody,
being put on the ice for taking us down Loikroh road, only to be half drowned in the stationary traffic
by the Songkran water squad. A turkey shoot just about sums it up.
We were delivered back into the city to yet another watery reception and scurried down the back
passages behind the Imm hotel, in an attempt to avoid the madness. Snowballs had other ideas.
As we passed a blow up swimming pool housing a couple of toddlers, Snowballs decided,
in full Hash attire, to climb in ! He proceeded to try and sit on the edge of the pool, which then
collapsed. The pool emptied in a tidal wave of disaster carrying the toddlers, who by now
were looking quite puzzled, away into the side street. Errr nice one Snowballs.
On Ono to rock me burger where the unflustered, and mostly dry, Alice was eagerly awaiting our arrival.
A good run. The Boys done good.