Category Archives: CSH3 – Write Ups

13th Jan – CSH3 – Foxy & Robin Banks

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Foxy teamed up with Robin Banks at Huay Tung Thao. It’s been a while since we’ve run here as a hash, but my recent explorations have told me that some old trails have become overgrown, and many of the good old trails are just unusable – when I saw the directions, I hoped the hares had scouted before they’d decided where to set! I wasn’t the only one struggling to find the A-site due to poor signage.

An early harebrief and we were set off before some of the pack had found the A. The A-site wasn’t new, but with changes in the mud tracks, we got to it a different way – it was the familiar trail cutting down to the bottom of the ugly waterfall. A big arrow pointing left, and a vocal co-hare insisting that we should turn left! It was clearly going to be right – first up, the hares had posted on facebook their scouting pics, secondly the trail to the left once upon a time was nice, but today runs out into overgrowth. The other option was the waterfall, which frankly is a bad, bad, bad idea. A V check took us towards the waterfall, with the co-hare guarding anyone from doing the obvious turn to the right. I guess I’ll play the game for now, and climbed up the side of the waterfall for a bit, before obviously going back down and along the trail at the bottom of the hill. The check had done nothing to keep the pack together, it had just scattered us.

We headed directly towards the aqueducts (I just spent some time to teach Terrorbyte and 8-Bit that the spelling of aqueduct is with an e not the sensible a as in aquaduct – we agree it is BS). After a W/R split, we made our way along the tiny canal, and when the trail when over the aqueducts, each time I dived underneath and managed to overtake a couple of hashers. But it was overgrown, and narrow, and my legs were weary. When the trail headed left back up the hill it was clear they were either going to double back to the wimp rambo split, or head further along the lake before coming back along the road. At 3k+ in I didn’t fancy either, so cut back down to the lake and trundled along the lake back to the W/R split. I got there and found how the hares had changed the trail, not long before the pack came down off the hill.

I jogged over the dam with Scooby Do and Brown Finger chasing me down behind. At the other end of the dam, a circle check, already kicked out, but not towards the village – this was going towards the main HTT entrance. I opted for the shorter route through the village, and bizarrely even though I made it clear I was short cutting, the pack followed me – to the point that the GM picked up the paper that was correctly laid out of the circle and relaying it in the wrong direction. I can only imagine the confusion behind, which surely contributed to Sticky Wicket arriving close to dark. Meanwhile I was leading a growing collection of FRBs on a shortcut through a MooBaan. The only problem was they wanted to go faster than me (they had just caught me up going over the dam!). They wanted to go faster, but they weren’t 100% sure which was the shortest way back, so had to keep stopping to wait for shortcutting instructions! When we finally got close enough there was a break for the finish, but Brownie stayed around to chat as we dragged our way in to the finish.

6th January – CH3 – Alice (Ball Breaker)

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Setting a ballbreaker isn’t easy – it takes a LOT of work, both in scouting and in managing logistics – it takes a deal of work to pull it off, and the hares pulled it off, so great job! I had 17.3km in around 3 hours, including 470m elevation gain. By the end I was happy to finish and have a beer.

The A-site was the Country Cabin near Doi Saket – a great little restaurant that I’ve many times sat reading a book and passing the afternoon away. We showed up, and waited for the rest to appear, listening attentively for any hints the hares might inadvertently give away. And boy were there hares!!! Alice, Blows Herself, Mr. Poo, Foxy Cleopatra, Burritto Butt, perhaps even Strangely Anal? How many cooks does it take to perfect the broth?

I know this area – it’s my backyard – I’d even made a prediction about which hill it would be – I was wrong… But when the songthaew dropped us off, I had a pretty good idea, and my heart sank just a little. We started off not far from Wangtarn Resort, heading towards the high mountains. Suckit must be close to 60 now, but I remember around his 50th we did a 50k from Wangtarn resort, and BF, GI and I pieced together a bit of a connection there. I was holding back trying to stick with my philosophy of staying with the front of the pack while putting in the minimal effort.

The trail came out onto the tarmac road, and for some insane reason hashers seemed to scatter down the hill? Angry Inch lead the way up the road, and I followed gingerly. Please not this hill, please not again, the nightmares are still coming… Sure enough Angry called ONON, and the ascent was on. We past the abandoned house where the Ballbreaker started 5 years ago, and from here the ascent is quite brutal. Gorf skipped by as though he hadn’t realised he was setting off on a Ball Breaker, under the impression he was just on a 5k park run. A V-Check, and for me turning left was a 0% chance – it might look tempting, but a sharp pain to my ribs reminds me of a fall I took in that dark gully. Memories were leading me up this hill – unlike most of the rest of the pack, I knew the torture of the climb, and I could also predict where the hare would let us free.

Gorf jogged up next to me like a freak of nature. Does he not appreciate that we are going up? A circle… Strange place for it, I only know one option to keep going. Gorf must have gone 98yards before giving up and dancing back. I could have encouraged him to check somewhere else, but I didn’t have the energy, so we carried on to the inevitable paper. Up to a little ridge, with a great view. The hares had even placed the paper to lead us to enjoy the view before heading back to the left of a hill. So far we were on the trail I’d set 5 years back with Shagless – I’d spent nearly 300km and many many hours all over this mountain. I was confident I knew every possibility, but the trail carried on following the way Shagless and I had set. Finally Gorf came running back and normalcy returned as we headed back down the hill – perhaps even more slowly that we’d gone up it.

I knew this trail was there, but for a bit I was on new ground, and while the descent was dodgy, when we hit the bottom there was a good check, and then some great running trails. A few more checks would have perhaps let the rest of the pack stay close, but there was a good pack of FRBs turning over the lead at the front. I was doing a good job of staying amongst them with little effort – such as when GI and I called a clear false trail off to the left, and got a head start along the main trail. We emerged into the valley where the dogs home is, and it was long before one of the FRBs disturbed them while checking a circle. Scooby Doo led us on true trail around the edge of the field, between the two small lakes and to a circle check. We’d been promised 7-8km on the first leg, and we were short of that – heading out to the road now couldn’t be right, so I helped Brownie check off to the left, while Sloppy lucked out to the right and out to the road. We could see the first beer stop waiting for us not far along the canal, and a race emerged in front of me for winning to the beerstop – I think Sloppy got it from his raised fist pumps. I walked in and as I was carrying my own water I carried on not wanting my legs to seize up…

The trail turned back to the mountains, and I edged along fully expecting a trick – perhaps a sneaky false trail? THe path leads to a gate which is always locked and impenetrable. Today it was locked, but the hares had found a way of getting past it – interesting! I walked along waiting for the pack to catch me. Perhaps they were enjoying the water / snacks, or probably the beer. Finally I got to a circle check, and somewhere behind I heard TMB calling “RU?” I had a very clear idea of where the trail was likely to go, and quickly called ONON. There was a fallen tree blocking the trail, which was a little confusing, and held the pack up a bit behind. I was excited about the next check though, as I really love the hidden trail off to the right – I can only imagine the hares excitement the first time they found it… As I approached the circle I heard someone calling checking from up ahead. That someone sounded a lot like Frozen Dick… And looked a lot like Frozen Dick when I got to him. No idea how long he’d been poking around for it, but I helped him out.

I like these trails – I’ve set them, but this was the first time I’ve been able to run them on a hash. “Run” is maybe not the right word, as it was a while before we could actually get running. The pace was pedestrian as we all were cagey about putting too much effort in. We emerged from the hill shoulder and down the trail. A circle check as Gorf caught me again. I carried on, and where once there was a small wooden house, today there was a bustling collection of wooden houses, a plethora of children, and a school of aggressive dogs. I got a stick to fend off the dogs… The kids were clearly on my side – friendly, happy, and much more aggressive when it came to hurling lumps of mud at the dogs. I had a chat with them about white paper. One pointed me in one direction, and then was scolded by his friends as they pointed me onwards. I knew I was more than 100m from the check, but there were a few strips of paper on the ground, and the evidence suggested paper had been torn down. I was on trail and bellowed ONON back, which surely Gorf heard otherwise that check might be difficult!

I carried on and sure enough at the next circle, Gorf wasn’t far behind. I turned right, confidently, and happy this time there were no bees. Of course we wouldn’t be going up the hill to the right, so as I had a bit of time, I found a nice stick to prepare myself for the next pack of dogs. Gorf caught me as we passed the trail off to the right – playing the percentages I was tempted to head that way, or at least as the ladies that were stood around, but as I was up front I did the decent thing and jogged(ish) to the FT. I turned back a lot quicker than Gorf and sure enough we were heading off back dangerously close towards where we’d been before.

Here the pack started passing me. There was a chance of another FT up front, and there was a way to cut down the field to the left, but nope. Further ahead there was a cross junction, and surely there we had to turn left – otherwise trail was getting close. Sloppy and I headed left, but finally Gorf called it straight on. Ugh. I had made a mistake. By now the FRB pack was well established, and sticking together as a group – sure we’d lost the walkers, but the checks were good enough to keep a sizable group together, and keep turning over the lead. I was slipping backwards though, but was surprised when Graven suddenly appeared, and passed me somewhat similar to Marvin in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

We got back to the road, just 100m or so away from the first beer stop. This time I got a beer. I was still wary about stopping – as I write this, I am looking at my anti inflammatories, and hoping I can move my knee tomorrow! I kept on going and promptly got the circle check wrong. The 2nd beer stop was at a small shelter I’d set a male hash run from a couple of years back, and I set off on the way I’d set the run. Today we ended up in the same spot, but Alice used a nicer route to get there. I walked along, enjoying my beer.

Somehow I caught up again as they were spread out looking for a solution to a false trail. A big sign on the gate saying NO ENTRY (or something like that in Thai), was scaring people off. My mind drifted back to the day I spent 2+ hours trying to find a way to avoid this property, hitting deadend after deadend, before sneaking around the edge, only to meet the nicest, kindest English gentleman you could imagine. I had no qualms going through the gate, and happily waved at his wife today – seriously, this property is gorgeous, and the owner is a star. I didn’t see him today, but I recall him welcoming me onto his land in the past saying “We are but custodians of this land, you are very welcome to enjoy it!”. The traditional wooden houses are great, the land well maintained, and the walk across the grounds through the water buffalo and peacocks out to the ricefields is beautiful.

TMB and Brownie led the way along the trail through the ricefields, and we were starting to get to more familiar Alice area. He’d set runs here, and I remember him finding some connects to abandoned moobaans. I never switched out of minimal effort mode, just trying to plod along. Every time there was a slight incline my legs screamed at me. Every time there was a slight decline my legs screamed “NO!”. I was doing ok… I was comfortable… I was going to finish.

The pack rejoined to solve a false trail. There was an interesting shift in philosophy here… Normally when we have a problem to solve, we are fairly combative – we spread out as individuals, wanting to be the winner who solves it. By now, we were resigned, a team created by our group experience. Almost to the point of sitting down to discuss our options. We all checked one way down the road, then we all went another, discussing what might be possible, because most of us were reluctant to risk being badly wrong. I suspect in the end, paper was taken down and not left at all helpfully for those who followed. The collective exhaustion perhaps.

A bit later the front runners managed to run straight through a sharp left that just led to a false trail. They were clean away while a pack grew behind them. We had to be getting close to the end… I hadn’t seen NOYB since the start, so I was confident he wouldn’t catch me, so I was satisfied. Knock Out passed and I thought – no problem, I can be beaten by a girl (TMB didn’t count she was already ahead). Then Able Semen passed… – ok no problem, I guess I can be beaten by a kid – but he better be signed by a premier league club so I have a story to tell my grandkids!

Then all of a sudden we were all back together. A circle check, and the shortcutting FRBs were caught by the rest of us. Out of nowhere Graven darted down a hole in the hedge and called ONON. Graven and Sloppy had decided that one beer wasn’t enough at the beerstops, they should have at least 2. They had set off way behind everyone else. The drunkards could barely stagger their way along the edge of the quarry walls, and yet somehow they had catapulted themselves to the front. Although we all agreed it was way too wet, muddy, stinky, so we should just go down the road instead.

A few more steps, and we were at the canal, a short way further and we were back at the A.

Thanks hares for the efforts – right about now I need a long sleep…

30th Dec – CSH3 – Scooby Do

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Scooby teamed up with Do to set a very enjoyable and runnable trail from the dam side at SKP. The checks were clever enough to keep the pack well grouped throughout the run so Graven and Angry never got away.
I was feeling a bit tired so walked and jogged as we descended towards the water then up to the road and across into the forest. That first check took ages and the very last one messed us up. totally. Apparently it was the penultimate, but not for most of us.
A friendly little puppy ran all the way round with Obscene and our female visitor Sticky Sex Toy from HK honked most of the way around after a beer fed morning according to her Brit partner, the wondrously named Princess Cock Tosser. Lady herself blamed McD fries but it was a shame Dr Byte couldn’t have seen her in action.
That check. Well the pack looked everywhere, went back, went further, different hashers checked the same routes, confusion, frustration, irritation. Alice checked into an overgrown field with a narrow path but no paper – and kept yelling Checking! until hope evaporated but a big gap in a bar wire fence appeared and then the massive dam wall. By this time a stream of hashers were following him as the homing instinct proved irresistible.
Apparently a handful of the pack, Poo and ? actually found true trail and another check before appearing on the far end of the dam wall. Turkish just appeared. The Ottoman outlier reverting to type.
Lovely set, decent circle and even a couple of splashes for light fingered Libbers who praised KO but slaughtered Alice in Full Bahrain Black Hash regalia. Hasn’t anyone told him about cultural sensitivity?!

2nd December – CSH3 – Turkish Delight

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I’d describe Turkish’s harings as hit or miss – he sets some truly great runs, but then sometimes misses. Often the question isn’t whether he will fuck up, but just how bad the fuck up will be… It is hard to remember a fuck up this big!

A new area, way out past San Kampaeng, beautiful resort, pool. All set up for a good run, but no hare… Sloppy gave him a call, and he was still out setting trail – perhaps a bit panicked to finish in time? The songthaew just about made it, and then we were set off – in a different direction to where I had sniffed some paper, but never mind! We ran back to the entrance and found a circle check. My legs were slowly warming up, so I was just off the front, but hardly got to the circle when it was called to the left. I was suspicious, as the paper was too close, but ok… We followed paper along road, wondering why we were so far out of the city to run on road. We ran into a funeral party, which just added to the confusion, with paper randomly off to the left, and some stochastic music and people confusing the scene. Again the paper ran out, but ahead someone called a circle. It was pretty clear we were going backwards on trail.

I turned back, suggesting to people we were going backwards, but it was a confusing situation, so it isn’t surprising that only HRA trusted me. I got back to the first check, and checked further the way I had planned to check the first time, only to find Turkish looking frantically desperate. “Why is it kicked out the wrong way? – Go that way!” I bellowed and ONON, and behind me, HRA did the same, but by now we were a km or so from the funeral – a funeral which now had a bunch of lost hashers in bright clothes milling around.

Not much I could do, so I pressed on, going through a few checks with HRA close behind. I got a V check wrong, so joined up with HRA after he got a FT, and we discussed how we should work together as there were only 2 of us now. So… PROBLEM #1 – the In trail was too close to the first check (thats a hare noob mistake). Next we get to PROBLEM #2. HRA and I got to a circle check and decided HRA would go straight, and I would go right. After 100m, we both called “ONON” confidently as we both found paper. Luckily for me, mine was the right paper… Unluckily for HRA (and Sloppy Rod who was following us along with several others), the paper HRA found was from when Turkish was scouting on Monday – he had left paper leading off up to a reservoir. On that trail there were further checks, but it ended with a random circle at a reservoir. HRA and Sloppy spent a lot of time at that check, convinced they were on trail, but futilely hunting a dead trail – they made it back in near darkness, along with some others…

For me, I followed the paper… Around the end of a field, trying hard not to ruin the farmers crops. Past a rotting dead cat. When I came out of the field the trail went left, and I assumed it would loop around and meet HRA, and assumed he had short cut somehow. But, nope – it was a FT, and I was heading away from where I had heard him call. But the trail was well marked and easy to follow – some checks I got right, some not, but it was all good – I was doing the trail… alone…

Finally I saw Sheep Shagger and some visitors, and then Knock Out and Blows Herself, all going the wrong way – clearly resigned to doing the trail backwards. I reassured them the trail was clear and they could keep going – not realising that behind me the trail was now leading them up to the dead end circle check at the reservoir…

From here many of the checks had clues, from those coming the other way, so I jogged on. I realise everyone else was fucked up, but for now I was enjoying it – pleasant trails. I paid my third tribute to the funeral which by now must have been seriously confused as to what was going on.

Overall – it was a really nice set, BUT, there were 2 HUGE mistakes by the hare – and this hare is experienced enough to not make mistakes like that. Ultimately those 2 mistakes lead to a monumental fuck up! Epic Fly By

11th November – CSH3 – HRA

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It’s been awhile since I’ve been hashing, but for various reasons I ended up headed down canal road with my 11 year old son “Terror Byte” to see what HRA had in store for us. The A site was up the road past the Sameong road football field. After a hare brief we were set off up the road… Not sure why we went up the road, rather than along the trail next to the road, but nevermind! We were promised powder, but for quite some way we didn’t get any – Terror Byte was up front flirting his youthful exuberance with Knock Out. Finally powder was spotted headed off to the right.

The first check was some distance into the run, but Terrorbyte was still leading, only to gamble wrong on a 50/50 chance. It was Brownie that called on from straight on. For the diligent reader there may be moments of “proud father” emerging from this write up. Yes, Brown Finger is back, and he isn’t “Round Finger”, he’s a lean mean running machine, prone to getting checks wrong, and before too long the universe was back in order. BF came back from a false trail, which had us befuddled for a while. TMB eagerly tested to the left, someone I didn’t know tested to the right – I mostly mingled and chatted.

I regretted that moments later after the call to the right, and I was stuck in a traffic jam as we ascended a creekbed steep up the hill. (The amnestic hare later had no recollection of the number of hills he forced us up). We climbed, we clambered, and when finally there was the call of circle check from the ridge, I broke off to the right and scrambled out of the traffic. Typically, the call was to the left, and I was back in a solid pack. The checks were working nicely and we were kept together as a big group.

We looped along the edge of the ridge line, and Graven took the lead. Another circle check, and with Graven checking straight TMB went down to the right. Silence from up ahead as Poo and someone else edged their way after Graven. Brownie and I pondered for a while before deciding Graven had surely gone far enough, and set off down the hill after TMB. She was coming back up, and finally the call from Poo – have I tuned out Graven’s calls? Did he call? Deep in our hearts we know the answer.

Finally the trail broke and we came down off the mountain, but I knew we were a long way from home. So far it actually reminded me of a utter fuck up that Klaus Barber set many years back, when he apologised for where he came out of the mountain. We were a long way from home! We had to turn a sharp right, and we did. But descending out of the forest, we came down a steep bank where we could see a circle check at the bottom – Turkish ahead went to the right (No way buddy!). Given the check visible, there was a large group that took our time navigating down the hill, discussing which way it might be. Most guessed left, but I had a hunch it would be straight on to the trail back up the hill. Damnit, how many hills would we have to climb???

Sure enough Cumalot called us on from straight on. And the a false trail. Meh. Of course we had to go back over the hill, but the hare wanted us to scramble up the shitty trail, rather than going up the perfectly good trail?? I’ve lost count of how many times trail has been set scrambling up there, when there is a perfectly good trail that cuts up to the ridge, and the perfectly good trail leaves options for decent checks at the top. There is no reason to scramble up the hill… – so I didn’t. I went up the decent trail, and met Brownie at the top as he was checking from the circle at the top. Of course it was back down to the left, and I rejoined the pack – which gained Leaky Faucet and Stumbling Dyke who appeared from completely the other side of the mountain – nice short cut guys!

Unfortunately the way down the hill wasn’t really headed in the right direction, and I knew that we would have to go back up again to get home – or maybe HRA had found a road option? At the bottom of the hill another circle that brought a lot of the pack together. Near the temple, there was much confusion with many of the FRBs headed towards the road. Those that did check correctly back up the hill didn’t call enough (MR. POO – from your GPS this means you!!!) so it was a while before the rest of the pack figured it out. The trail went back into the temple and back up the hill… I remember it clearly, because my 11 year old son Terror Byte was still in the pack – I checked my GPS, 4.5km in. The hare had promised 6k, so another 1.5k at least.

Yet another hill for sure… We went back up the same hill, only to turn around and come back down again, but still not quite in the right direction. Damn you hare! Another circle check had most of the hashers going left. I figured we had to go over another hill to get back, so hacked a trail out up the hill. I was with KO, and finally the call came from Blows Herself who had taken an alternative route. The hashers descended on the call. KO decided to follow me, rather than go back to the circle – she may have regretted it as we scrambled off trail back to the pack. From there we emerged and everyone knew where they were and the next 1km or so needed to get home… Or well most did…

I caught Turkish near the OnIn and we got back together not far off the front group. I grabbed a drink and showered off… Knowing my son wasn’t far behind. I went to stand at the corner, waiting for him to come up the road… It was starting to get dark. When I checked with HRA, he didn’t have a bike. Does Nothing and some other walkers came in, saying they hadn’t seen Terror Byte… I panicked… I headed back on trail screaming my sons name, wondering where the hell he was and what had happened to him. HRA stole a bike and came to help, whizzing past me saying that we haven’t ever lost anyone yet… – that wasn’t very reassuring… I must have gone a km or so back on trail – I found the bike HRA had stolen and left, and continued to hike after him. Complete indescribable fear running through me as I screamed his name. Words don’t exist to describe the emotions; fear, anger, terror… I just wanted to be at home with my sons.

It turns out Terror Byte had met up with Stumbling Dyke and Leaky Faucet on the trail. While their first short cut had been successful, their second wasn’t quite so… Terrorbyte had made the sensible decision to stay with the adults he knew (when they decided not to follow trail), and they decided to head to the road rather than head back into the hills as the light was fading. Sensible, rational decisions by almost everyone! Matty – sensibly stayed with people he knew. SD & LF sensibly decided to stick to the road when they had the option for a safe route back… Meanwhile Daddy Byte decided to run off backwards on trail wearing flip flops, without a flashlight, randomly screaming “Matty”. At least I took my phone, but didn’t answer it when Poo tried to call me…

For a hash run, the trail was great – challenging, some good checks kept the pack together for a long time. Perhaps given the hills, it may have been a little long – afterall a pickup brought in the walkers. Perhaps consider a beerstop next time?

30th Sept – CSH3 – Alice

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As I left the OnOnOn today, I was advised that perhaps I need a longer holiday…

I was late – after I left home I remembered the run start has changed, so I was 10 mins or so late getting to the start. Lungla pointed me off, but in the wrong direction, so I hunted around for paper for a while. I got to a road, and random lady on bike pointed the way she had come – presumably I was looking lost, and there were other random people in that direction. I headed the way she said, and met the hare who confirmed that it was that way and that I was shortcutting – pretty impressive short cut as I hadn’t seen any trail yet!

To the temple, and up the temple steps – a hundred or so. I caught up with Does Nothing, Always On Top and Tip Toe and remembered there are no trails on this hill. ┬áThere are no trails on this hill… ┬áThe paper was marked heading into shitty shiggy, for 2.5km. I past Foxy who was struggling with the rocks. The trail went down off the side and out into the open and I got there with Cumalot & Shagless. A circle check that wasn’t kicked out. Great! We started checking, and I found paper going back into the shiggy mess. Long grass, no trail, just hacking our way through.

Finally I got out to decent trail and caught up with Obscene, KO and Poo. Not many checks, but finally a V-check that was already torn. I tried to call Poo back as he had gone straight, but he ignored me. I went up the hill to the right and hit a FT – who the f**k kicked the check out the wrong way?!?!

Perhaps I do need a longer holiday.

23rd Sept – CSH3 – Chuck Wao

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Rating: 6.0/10 (3 votes cast)

At Huay Tung Thao – my old hunting ground! I figure I know all the options here, and I’ve even set a run with Chuckie here before, so shouldn’t be a problem to second guess him. Ha! The first thing I’d got wrong was which A-site he’d use – I thought he’d be up at the corner and use the trails towards the bottom of the hill, instead he used the car park at the bottom of the hill. From here we usually head up the running track a bit, but oh no – CW had something else in store and poked us through a barbed wire fence and a different way back down to the canal.

First check had to be left, and sure enough I spotted paper on the back of some trees. Setting a decent early pace I sped a few steps past the first false trail – not the last time I would see that ugly FT today. It was back and up into the cowboy farm, but a couple of FRBs milled around waiting for me to lead them up the hill – and lead them straight to another FT. Damnit! Now we were following Angry Inch through a bit of shiggy until it opened out, without a check. When we did hit a check, I was wrong, but it was difficult to find out where the call was coming from – people kept yelling “ON ON CALLED!” when stood at the circle – I know that, but which direction was it called from!? Turned out I wasn’t far away and got back to the leaders in time to screw the next check up again…

We had to be headed left, but we were in the army camp on some trails that weren’t 100% familiar. I knew roughly where we were, but it wasn’t as familiar as my original confidence. Sex Pistol was leading the way, and I finally got back to the front when she hit another one of the hare’s devious false trails. I got paper, but now we were on a trail that I definitely didn’t know – looked like a new off road quad bike trail weaving around. Another circle, and while straight seemed about the only option, I was convinced it was wrong. Weaving around a corner I was on, and had a little lead. The trail twisted back and forth like the quad bikers had been drunk and lost when they’d carved a path through the jungle. A big loop around and I came splashing back with the rest of the pack about 4m to my left. They all short cut across, every one of the lazy bastards!

Finally we got out onto a mainer trail and I knew exactly where I was, and exactly how to get home – I accelerated, and 5 steps later hit yet another false trail. MOFO! We ducked back across the running track and past the overgrown football field. Another circle check. I glanced at my watch, which was only registering 2.something?! It seemed further, but it wasn’t till I got back that I found it had somehow switched to miles rather than KM. It had to be left, so I headed to the left, but Piggy went even more left and called ONON. I stepped in behind and we started running along the nice trail that parallels the main running trail. Either Piggy kicked on a bit, or I was slowing down? The gap seemed to be growing behind me, and also in front.

When Piggy followed trail around to the left, I thought that kind of false trail wouldn’t trick me, and sure enough I finally got inside the hare’s head! I ran straight, and was back on paper, and back in the lead… I just needed to get to the corner of the running track, and then surely back down the hill for glory!!! Mother Fucking False Trail!!!! Nice work hare, nice work – I guess that is revenge for many years ago? Piggy caught back up and led the way through some shiggy to rejoin the track slightly closer to home and gleefully called ONIN! Good to see Diddly Squat making an appearance and running well at the front!

2nd September – CSH3 – Blows Herself

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Rating: 8.3/10 (3 votes cast)

Alice teamed up with BH out in Doi Saket. Home turf for me, so after not running outside in August, I ventured out into the heat. It is nice running in aircon.

A modest crowd showed, and slightly late we were set off without the GM in sight. We scrambled to the start of the trail, and then I ran out of paper until someone spotted a circle check randomly placed on a tree to the left. I was wrong, but it was early doors so I jogged along and got another check wrong, meeting up with some dogs, before an on call to my left. I cut across and with another check I got one right headed for the Chinese graveyard. We hit a series of 50/50 V checks, but I lucked out, and was going well till I hit a FT. I came back and was still in position for the true trail.

This was a familiar area, but it wasn’t clear yet if we’d be going clockwise or anticlockwise. My hunch said to head for the road and the other half of the trail would be back on the other side of the canal, perhaps using the trail people had missed on Alice’s last run. I was right (for now), and opened up the legs to find Alice with a single can of beer to share between the pack. I carried on, and got a couple of checks right before hitting another false trail. I was impressed, they’d gone deeper to the East. The next couple of checks screwed me over – excellent work hares! One I went left when it should have been straight, the next I went straight when it should have been left! Damnit – maybe I think too much.

Sheepshagger passed at one of those checks and then Chuckie joined me. Somewhere around there the heat got to me again. I started retching. Chuckie decided not to wait, and the other FRBs past by. I tried pressing on, but eventually had to collapse. Sex Pistol and Knockout arrived and poured water over my head, and after a few minutes I started to recover. Damn this heat – I’ve got to figure out a way of coping, or its back to the treadmill.

We started heading back towards the A, and the leaders were well ahead until a sneaky last FT that screwed everyone up. For some amazing reason, nobody considered looking for trail dropping straight off the side of a fucking cliff. This wasn’t a Belly Dancer hill, this was the cliff edge of a quarry. The hares said “we’ve done worse” – mhmmm… Apparently there were trees that people could swing off. I opted out and ran around the quarry picking up trail as we crossed back over the canal and got to the OnIn a bit ahead of CW. Nice route – just get a bit more aircon next time, or some more ladies to shower me with water!

12th August – CSH3 – Turkish Delight

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Rating: 8.3/10 (3 votes cast)

The Turk excelled himself last Saturday with an excellent set that showed would be hares the standard to aim for.
It was either Turkish or HRA who promised virgin trails in the email. What! Down Ob Khan Rd, my arse! I got to thinking – if they really are unhashed trails he’s got to go miles down and half way to Burma!
When Saturday came we headed to the empty quarter A site and then up the freshly graded and prepped road to Turkish’s A on the corner.
Ok, no virgin trails here, know the area like the back of my wanking hand. But I was interested to see what the Anatolian haberdasher would come up with.
Off we went thru an orchard and out onto a trail heading towards the hills. But would we go up or around the quarry and across the road perhaps?
At a familiar juncture we went left from a circle and up a narrow trail towards a gated property. We missed the narrow path I know up into the doi and headed towards the gate. Nice one, a sneaky almost invisible path up right onto the foothills and n
broken ground.
Having enjoyed a natter with Frozen and a brief word with Sups I push on and caught Sticky, Tiptoe, Stumbling and a few others as we ascended over rough ground towards the forest.
A check ahead and Shagless was runnjng right. Then coming back. Confusion ahead and the FRBs only 20m ahead.
So up left we went and presently popped out on the ridge trail at a familiar and popular circle site. So that’s where the path comes out! Byte ran down there on one of my runs a few years ago off paper and ended up lonely in the field below even further from paper!
Turkey took us to the next main junction. Where it had to be left, 90% chance. FMDD Chacky, Tasty and Sheepy come running back from the right as a group. Half the run and I’m up with the leaders while walking!
Up along the ridge and checks in the usual places but then an OnOn that led to no path down I knew. I told anyone who’d listen and I was right.
We all dropped off the edge of the hill and descended a treacherous gravel hillside with sparse trees for stopping falling hashers. My hip wasn’t happy at this turn of events.
At the bottom things were complicated by a. Turkish trickery B. farmer in truck pulling down paper!
From here the day caught up with Sex P and Sheepy and I caught them again and the returning Pig Shite. How would we exit the property?
Turkey took us up a well hidden path thru the woods to the round reservoir above the orchard. Well that was a clever link.
The way home was clear,but Turkey had tricks up his sleeve galore with a switchback check the wrong side of a secure looking fence and a rolling new trail through an upgraded property.
Happy to get home, hip intact and 6km under the belt. FRBs had a km more. What a belter of a run. Unusual for anyone to surprise me in an area I know pretty well with 2 or 3 devious cut throughs I’d not found or forgotten as they been blocked over time.
Welcome Adam and Savanna visitors from Utah, Anyone’s son and welcome back ol’ foul mouth herself, Blows Herself. Wings for Alice and Anyone. OnOnOn to Yummy Pizza. Eggelen.
Alice

5th August – CSH3 – Geisha Gash & DGI

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

(Courtesy Alice)

Decisions, decisions. Lanna or CSH3 hared by these glam harriettes?
KrapThai, Belly and I Got Gas doing their worst in the wilds or a sensible Saturday stroll with a bad hip for company? That took about 2 seconds to decide!

So on the songthao to Pamela and GG’s opulent mansion. How the other half live eh!
Hey, Horny Monkey was there looking trim and well and Robert the Spurs man.
Alice set off 5 min after the pack as he searched in vain for his missing iPhone holder. I could hear shouts but couldn’t find paper as I exited Geisha’s rear entrance.

Into the sparse forest and across the road went the trail. I was miles behind just following paper alone. An instructive experience.
Once into the forest for real the paths went gently up and the trees hemmed in. Greenery all around, stony paths, clear paper markings and circles and Vs already done. Forest silence apart from the birds and the crunch of footfall. What more could a man ask for? Chilly Pussy and SweetPea off trail and rooting. For mushrooms.

After 2 plus Km I spy Robert walking back against trail -strange – then ducking down a cut back path. Confused I yell RU? He quickens his pace then runs away with Anyone in yellow top appearing to lead him deep into the forest off trail. Wtf, he may lose his spotless reputation. Plus it looked like an insider’s short cut. It was.

Suddenly paper after 120m at the bottom of a hill and Musk Rat and ABB bouncing down from my left. I was mid pack and surrounded by humanity, poor excuses of it, but I was back in the mix.

Trail twisted and wound through the forested hills, I met Sups and SB here, then out behind the Night Safari and the longish flat asphalt yomp home, my Decathlon trainer squeaking along with ABB’s just behind me.

Strangely the girls had ‘forgotten’ to place ANY checks for the last 2.5Km. Someone suggested they’d been chatting and as we know women can’t multi task so…
All in, a lovely route and well papered, overpapered in sections, where half a dozen strips marked the same number of meters. What was going on? We’ll never know but it was a top trail to hike.
Many thanks to the three hare ladies and Pamela and Geisha for graciously hosting. Chacky and Tasty stole the wings by common consent and the rain gods showed their righteous disapproval.
On on, Alice