Category Archives: CSH3 – Saturday

Chiang Mai Saturday Hash is a mixed hash which meets every Saturday.

CSH3 Hash Trash #1540

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Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

                                             Hash Trash 1540                                                                                                                                                                   Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Hot Nipples

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run 1541

After a short absence, Skid mark and Chatterbox stepped up to the plate as hares for today’s run with the location out in Sarapi. There are two things you can be certain of when Skid mark sets a run in this area. The first thing you can bank on, it’s going to be a flat run devoid of hills or any steep inclines. The second point that can be relied on is that the OnOn will be at Auf der Au – The German restaurant with the amazing buffet. If you’ve never been there, I would certainly recommend you give it a try. You will never leave the place hungry, that’s assured.

It all started with a considerable amount of inconvenience and frustration with the road through Sarapi town being closed off due to the weekly street market taking precedence over the smooth flow of traffic, as a consequence severe congestion built up along the alternative route. This is one of those occasions where a motorcycle is a great advantage, as you can drive to the front of any vehicular queue. An observation corroborated by Chuck Wao who had spent quite some time in the traffic jam on his way to the A bucket.

About 25 of the usual suspects turned up. Belly Dancer, a long time returnee, making an appearance having done the obligatory 2 weeks quarantine after returning from England. Skid Mark proceeded with the hare brief, but chatterbox was nowhere to be seen. Apparently whilst setting the run, she had mistaken a dirty slimy swamp for firm ground and consequently ended up waist deep in the quagmire – all part of the fun and games of hashing. We set off down the concrete road and the first circle check. As anticipated we were heading for the rural attributes of the local topography, through a banana plantation followed by a few coconut trees and finally into the rice fields.  This time of year the rice plants are in a state of maturity, almost ready for harvesting, the sun low in the sky, giving the whole area a golden comforting hue; a vast contrast to that almost, unnatural, fluorescent glow that is  experienced earlier on in the year when the rice plants are just establishing themselves. it’s all part of nature’s ever changing pallet of wonderment.

So the run was going to take us through various plantations, predominantly rice, which meant there were many irrigation channels to cross which can only result in many substandard rickety bamboo bridges to be crossed – bridge is a far too generous description to bestow upon basically what amounts to, in many cases, a couple of dodgy poles strewn across the void. The abundance of channels had turned a lot of the area in to little islands and a great deal of time was consumed finding crossing points. A few of the more daring and agile of the pack jumping the ditches, personally I took the more sensible approach and put my faith in the rickety bridges as my means of island hopping.

One common sight at every precarious crossing point was Snowballs, in his capacity as hash paparazzi with his telephoto lens, waiting for the inimitable money shot, eagerly anticipating that moment where someone fell in, which would also allow him to glean a certain degree of schadenfreude, I’m sure, reveling in the misfortune of the unfortunate. I’m not aware of any photographic evidence of any mishaps.

We traversed our way around the expanse for quite some time and the scenery didn’t seem to change that much until we came to the area of a sugar cane plantation. I can’t ever recall seeing sugar cane on a run before. These plants grow to about 5 meters tall and running through them was quite a surreal experience. I was made aware – by Square Rooter, I think – that it is the waste material from these plants that is burnt and contributes a great deal to the egregious air pollution we suffer on an annual basis. So I, for one, am going to stop taking sugar in my coffee to decrease the demand and help mitigate the severity of the pollution – every little helps. We finally got through the sugar cane to be met by Skid Mark taking pictures and the OnIn.

The run took me just over an hour and I clocked up about 6 km. Great run guys I thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn’t get the mushroom report.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke …

CSH3 Hash Trash # 1534

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Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

       Hash Trash 1534

Run # 1535   

Today’s run was set by two of the Pussy lineage, those being Whisperer and Galore and the location was at the back of Mae Jo University. When I arrived at the A bucket the scene resembled something from Breaking Bad with four or five oil drums all with smoke emanating from them. It looked quite surreal with a few locals sitting around watching the fore mentioned oil drums as if they were waiting for something big to happen.  But on closer inspection and enquiry it was nothing more spurious than woodsmen carrying out the ancient woodland craft of charcoal burning.

About 30 of the usual hashers turned out for today’s escaped With Pizza Shit and In Denial, a couple of long time returnees joining us. They  had just spent the last couple of weeks in state quarantine as having entered the country from the US – It seems such a long time ago when all you needed to visit Thailand was an air ticket; will those days ever return?. Pizza Shit is a guy who has been coming and going on Chiang mai hashes for at least the past 20 years, but I think he said they had now settled in Mae Rim, So we should be seeing a lot more of them, welcome back guys.

Pussy Galore gave the hare brief and proceeded to blame Pussy Whisperer for anything that might go wrong or any anomalies that may be encountered on the run as he wasn’t in attendance and therefore unable to defend himself – excellent hash behavior. She made particular reference to the excessive distance paper may be found from circle checks, blaming Pussy Whisperer’s long stride .   We all set off passed a lake and into the woodland and the first circle check. Everyone spread out in quest of the trail with the usual circle guardians diligently occupying the circle area waiting for further instructions. On On was heard and I, as luck would have it, was on the correct trail. I was, at this stage, in FRB territory also in the company of Superman who is generally not found up the front of the pack these days. But it’s good for the ego to relive former glory now and then. We carried on along the leafy trails for about 1 km, or so, and to the Rambo Wimp split where I came across SinBin who seemed to be waiting for someone. I took the a right turn following the Rambo trail and started to go up an incline . I stopped to give way to Just Cumming as he seemed to be very much in FRB mode. I carried on along the leafy trails through a few circle checks. I continued at a sedate pace enjoying the green lush beauty of the forest at this time of year when I heard someone behind me running at what I can only describe as a rapid rate of knots. I jumped into the undergrowth to let them pass. It was Cums Any Time and she passed me like the 7:44 express from Chipping Sodbury to London Paddington – that’s a UK railway metaphor. My initial thought was she was letting the harrietts down as she wasn’t going to capture many mushrooms going at that speed.

I carried on another few hundred meters coming to an intersection on the trail. I looked to the left to see someone returning from a false trail. It was CAT again – I don’t know about Cums Any Time; she seemed to be coming all the time. Anyway the trail started to take us on an upward trajectory. Not a particularly steep slope,  but a gradual, energy sapping, incline. As I was making my way up the hill, I was passed by Mary Poppins and his kids who a little further along got caught out by a false trail. We located the new trail and it was goodbye to the flat even paths and onto a pretty steep decline along a dried up stream. We now had to negotiate some extremely uneven terrain with some pretty jagged rocks to cope with and without extreme caution it could have proved to have been treacherous . After 2 or 3 hundred meters of this we got back on to the sensible trails again . It was now starting  to get dark which was intensified by the light blocking effect of the foliage of the forest,  it was with a certain degree of relief we found  the OnIn and back onto a dirt road which led us back to the A bucket.

The run was about 6 km taking me about an hour and 20 minutes. Tip Toe and Square Rooter were late getting back and returning in darkness. I wasn’t aware of today’s mushroom count. CAT certainly didn’t collect any. I thoroughly enjoyed the run with not to many steep hills and varied terrain. Great run guys.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke …

7th Mrch – CH3 – Knockout

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Who would hve though it? Decent ir in Mrch?

OK, before I crry on – I hould point out tht the ” nd ” key on my keybord ren’t working, nd I cn’t be red copying nd pting for the ke of write up. You cn figure it out if you wnt, or not bother if you don’t – I don’t relly cre!

new runite jut long from regulr one. o we were quickly on regulr tril. Up towrd lt mn tnding tril tht hed towrd Doi Pui. fter couple of check we followed the blue pipe up, nd when we hit the min tril there w Wimp Rmbo option. Th Rmbo heding further up, o I decided to l hed bck down.

28th December – CSH3 – Sinbad & Chatterbox

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By Alice

Sinbad and Chatterbox set an intriguing run out at BanPong,SKP, utilizing the area’s best features and ignoring most of their Vater’s advice as the run was a resounding success.

Chatterbox admitted to 5% creative control and SinBin 1000%. What this tells you is that Skiddy probably regrets hiring Rooter as Dana’s maths tutor.

The kids took
centre stage at the hare brief and Blows yelled for Hash Hush at 110 dB. Soon we were off and onto familiar trails but this time markings were good and the first checks didn’t send the pack onto the In trail, Belly and Skiddy please note.
We wiggled around and then climbed up the spillway and over the bridge to the dam. Obscene took over as circle guard. Public spiritedness or rank laziness? The jury is out.

Trail went down and then right along the road and into the forest. Here I was sure we’d be now doing an anti clockwise loop and after confusion at a forest circle with Pussy W striding back from the correct way and OnOn called behind him by perhaps Scooby Do’s new squeeze, all hell
broke lose with OnOn called by those OFF trail confusing everyone. Cartoon resting 50m up the hill and not shouting Checking but RU? to save himself checking properly was noticed.

Bodies blundered thru’ the forest so I bashed back to the original path and found powder about 2 giant PW strides from where he’d turned. I nailed the next circle, the short order V and almost the following circle. Here the pack caught me as I retraced steps and Just Coming found trail through the ravine and out the other side. Most of the way home was good running and a great circle to follow in the amphitheater of the BanPong lodge. Another CHS3 circle that felt and (looked) like CH4.
Wings for Alice from Chatterbox for being ‘always polite and positive’ and Blows Herself from SinBin for ‘bein a good runner and a good woman!’. What is that boy after ffs?
Onon

Lovely running trails

14th Dec – CSH3 – Superman

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By Alice

Superman and his tribe hared a decent 6.6km trail out in the wilds past Prem School for CSH3 1500.

Trail started on fresh concrete and continued on fresh concrete for longer than the pack would forget. Once we got off into the green it was a lovely trail, farms, orchards and a few wide paths. My old hashmate Shut the Chuck Up from Saudi days turned up to add hair, beard and a fantastic Khobar Hash happi coat to proceedings.

Belly was off like a race horse and kept going for far longer than Anything is probably used to. Sloppy and KO with her mate Slow Gin seemed to disappear into the distance and Skiddy with SinBin shook a leg too.

W/R split after a Km and I moseyed along with STCU chatting and exchanging news.
Suddenly there were walkers infront and I realized we’d merged again. By the excellent 1500 On On we had Jersey Steamer for company too coming from a strange direction.

Celebration 1500 t-shirts were a tad smaller than usual Thai sizes but thanks to SM and SB for sponsoring – and HRA for artwork I’m guessing.

Usual circle nonsense – with Shagless and Cartoon the pick of the charges. I cleared off on my bike before the end as I was getting restless. I wish people would stand closer to the ice and not chatter loudly during the circle.

Onon CSH3 and well set Sups and crew. Strangely enough my odometer read 15000 when I left the A site. Cue Twilight Zone theme music.

29th June – CSH3 – Turkish Delight

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The Sloppy Rod called me in the morning to ask where we would go to run today, and we both agreed that sometimes Turkey sets good trails, and given the runsite (near Canal Road Football Field) he couldn’t go far wrong….

A fairly big turnout, and nice to see Crazy Crack & Ravenous again – along with a rather exhibitionist smoking friend. We set off on familiar trails and immediately there was a sharp right towards a “mostly deadend” – the resulting FT just meant all the FRBs were stuck behind the rest of the pack along a single trail.

After a while we were able to run, and promptly hit another false trail and a few more checks as we made our way along the bottom of the hill. Then we started the climb – I was surprised why a few hashers ran past me up the wide road, only to then walk ahead of me down the single track, but it was ok – obviously a hill was coming and I needed to pace myself. Up ahead the checks were pretty much straight on, and CW was leading the way with Doesn’t Get It putting in a fine performance!

Near the top, I caught up a bit as Crazy Crack was telling everyone that the left had already been checked… – I didn’t believe it, and sure enough found paper and was ahead for once, with Sloppy and Doesn’t Get It traversing to catch me. Finally at the peak we turned left ready for the descent, which was a little treacherous, and I took my time, while CW flew past racing with Sloppy.

I followed down the hill, and it seemed they were skipping along holding hand at the checks as they weren’t helping the chasing pack. We came out onto the road and I spied them running together having checked the wrong way – they weren’t holding hands… I hit the road maybe 30-40m behind them, but they were on a mission and started pulling away, while behind me the pack drifted further back. Finally trail led off to the left – an absolute 100% false trail! Sure enough, I rounded the corner back on paper, and the pair of them tried to catch me as we continued onin down the road.

The checks could have been trickier, but the route was nice!

22nd June – CSH3 – Just Cumming

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I don’t think the GM likes us… Today was one of the hottest days – not a cloud in the sky, I’d dread to think what it must have been like for him setting it during the day! 😮

Given the runsite, it was unlikely to be flat – JC came to apologise to me before anything else! I remember Big Top setting a run from here – or rather attempting to set a run, and having all kinds of problems… A ball breaker some years ago was from the same place as well… It would take some skill to put together something decent! Sloppy was confident JC would pull it off.

We set off up the road… – maybe a km of tarmac, with the emphasis on “UP”. It was all up… The first check, everyone went right, and left me, CW & Sloppy ambling slowing along the road, chatting and waiting to be called back. But there was paper, and I found myself leading the way up the road. Not long later I found myself following Skiddy up a steeeeeeeep hill with the sun pounding down on my back.

It improved slightly when we entered the tree line, but the hill was hardly started. I trudged on, praying it would soon be over, but it was relentless. On top, there was some decent trails, and I imagined running them, but sadly my legs were jelly by the time we got there. There was some good views, and some agility required to navigate a pipe rather than a trail, and when it came to the downhill bit, it was over far too fast.

That must have taken a lot of effort to put together!

15th June – CSH3 – Skidmark

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Sloppy called me this morning and suggested there might be some nice trails around where Skiddy was going to set the run – there might be, maybe one day we will find out! The directions to the runsite deserve an award for the most complex ever – I’ve driven past this spot on the way to one of my preferred spots, so ignored the directions and went my own way.

The hare brief wasn’t. But finally we got off and ran down the “runway” from the air adventures center. It was out into the ricefields – fortunately out of season, but it meant the first km or so was pretty miserable scrambling along. Through an orchard and out onto the road. Luckily it wasn’t thaaat hot, and my fitness seemed comparable to the pack. We went past a deserted hotel, that once I was considering using for a halloween run. For a while we were on what seemed like the abandoned roads of a potential moobaan.

A bit too much tarmac, but I somehow got to the front where a check was clearly missing, and here Turkish led CW astray and I managed to stay ahead for a while. That was until getting a check very badly wrong, and instantly the pack was together and looking confused at a busy crowded market – we could have been in the city!

A bit more road, and then back across the paddies – on a nicer trail this time. CW was way ahead the other side of the field, but I made my best efforts alongside Turkish. A good 7.5km of exercise that my body desperately needs.

4th May – CSH3 – Skidmark

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By Alice

Frozen Dick was kvetching that he isn’t able to solve checks with the FRBs. Well Frozen you missed your big chance. This was a ZINGER with FRBs, mid pack, DFLs all milling about checking here and there TOGETHER for about 30 minutes at the second check. Which turned out to be the last check on the wimp trail. It wasn’t much fun. Walkers mostly standing in the shade as every avenue was explored and re-explored further and further to no avail.

Shagless appeared and yelled:The hare said it was to the right. But we were at the WRONG 2nd/last check not the first. Total fcuk up. We checked every which right, front, back and even the other right.
Eventually saw bodies in the woods: Snail trail, Chatterbox, ABB, Shagless. They’d found the 2nd LAST check going the wrong way and dropped paper going further into the woods. There was only a couple of strips to be found. Then nothing. Total fcuk up.

I jogged back to the resort. 3.9km of total fuck up in 35 minutes. Cartoon and Blows tried to follow paper into the woods. Wrong move. They were back shortly afterwards.
I plopped in the pool.

Recommendations:
1. Newly returning hares to be paired with experienced local hares on their first run back.
2. Social services to be alerted if Skidmarks takes virgin hare Potato Head again to ‘teach’ him how to set trail.
3. Cuckold to be informed his Mae Jo endless run has possibly lost its place on the roll of honour.
4. 3 strips per 100m of trail minimum to become legal requirement. Punishable with water down downs or ice time equivalent to time wasted looking while on trail.
5. Prayer.

4th May – CSH3 – Skid Mark

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The pollution dipped a little, so I decided to head out to the CSH3 under the new GMship of Just Cuming. Fucking Hell it is hot out there! Ban Pong resort – a nice spot to run from, and it was Skiddy’s return haring – what would he bring back from his experiences in Canada?

The hare brief was nearly longer than the run! The hare explained a new Hook check – not sure that will be popular, but hey! Finally we were off, and KO and I strolled along the lane discussing the “new” check – I’d seen it before in UK, and didn’t really have fond memories of it. Anyway, we got to a circle, and I loped off to the left while KO went to the right. It was hot, and I was reluctant to put too much effort in. TMB, Sloppy and some others scattered in the same general direction as me, and then we all spotted paper a bit to the left. There wasn’t much paper, but it did have today’s run number on it, and with a little bit of effort we found another circle.

Here TMB went to the right – which kinda made sense. I went left and just around the corner found paper! Not much paper, but that seemed to be the MO today. 50m further and then “ONIN”! WTF? Paper leading back down the road to the resort, and another couple of large ONINs to bring us in the back entrance!

7 minutes after setting off, I ran down the carpark to an incredulous Skiddy! I assured him I hadn’t done the Wimp Trail – I hadn’t even seen a Wimp Trail! A short diagnosis showed we had gone wrong at the first check, as the Wimp Trail was too close.

Sloppy and Tasty joined me as we headed out again – it was just like Saturdays for the past year with just the 3 of us out there! It seems the rest of the pack mostly aborted and went to look at the lake instead. Meanwhile we went back to the first check, and after a concerted effort we found the trail off it – past some cows, that was probably a lot trickier than the hare expected.

Eitherway we were off, and the three of us headed into the valley. A V-check – but no trail marked off it – the bizarre marking kept holding Tasty up, and Sloppy and I plodded along behind her admiring our beerguts. Tasty came running back when she saw the confusing “Hook” check – it looked like a U-turn, so that’s what she did! When we got closer there was the number 4…. Hmmmmz… there were only 3 of us. One option would be to wait for someone else to show up? Or run all the way back to the resort to drag someone out to join us? Or to simply ignore it and carry on – ultimately when you see the U-turn, you don’t U-turn, you just keep going?!

Another circle, and when Tasty had gone 120m, she turned back and saw paper next to me at around 100m – it was another check – (circle to circle?). Previously we’ve been up the hill straight on, but that path looked overgrown, while a newer trail appeared to lead off to the left. Once again we found a little bit of paper, and it dropped us down into the creek bed, and gave us a good 500-700m of rough shitty scramble to get out. Knowing the area, Tasty and I climbed up to the marginally nicer trail above the creek bed, and made out way down again. In the past year we’ve regularly met out in this area, and have networked the trails exhaustively, so there were few surprises left.

Tasty got a bit of a lead, and sat waiting for us at a nice picnic table as the two fat blokes were suffering in the heat. It was enough – time to head in for a beer. As fuckups go, it was memorably monumental!