Category Archives: Blog

6th August – CH4 – Chuck Wao

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Rating: 4.3/10 (3 votes cast)

The hash was on my way home from work, so I thought I may as well stop off for some exercise. For sure the supreme cunt ringleader wouldn’t be there to sour the mood. So, the CSH3 is not worth attending for the forseeable future while the puppet master dictates how attendees can have fun. I can only hope that he gets the message that he isn’t really welcome on Mondays and fucks off again. At least the Happy Hash is free, and by far the best hash in CM these days – even here there is a sombre tone – at least in my mind. Nothing lasts forever!

I got out the car with moments to spare before the harebrief. I only had enough time to pay up, but still I was immediately pounced on by the hare raiser – even the hash cash commented he was looking for hares… WTF??? The last runs I’ve been to for both the CH3 and CH4 – I was the fucking hare! I haven’t run a trail since before Covid hit! I politely told the hare raiser to fuck off.

We were set off heading towards the hills, at the back of the lake behind 700 year stadium – a familiar spot that I had paper carried for CW a year or so back. Years ago there were great trails around here, but since the Moobaan was built and destroyed the side of the mountain, the trails that are left are largely overgrown.

A “V” check, and I went right – which was right, but moments later I was following single strands of paper to nowhere. Clearly the hare had tried to pick up trail, but missed bits as he rerouted over to the mainer trail. Another circle, and it was Bushy Tail that headed in the right direction – and it was sometime before anyone saw or heard from her again. Meanwhile the rest of us hunted around for paper for a while before finally heading in the right direction.

Long stretches without checks, and a long(ish) ascent up the waterfall. I regained the lead and as paper continued up the hill, I spied an odd looking piece off to the left. I was expecting a left turn, so investigated and sure enough trail cut across – I say trail, but it was an ugly scramble. We crossed a perfectly reasonable trail, but no check and the hares chose not to use it, prefering a treacherous rainy season descent into a waterfall and down the slippery rocks. Finally I could get running a little, but with no checks and no sounds behind, I was on my own. Across the waterfall, and trail up to the right… I wasn’t convinced but followed it up to an also unconvincing checkback.

Cartoon and HRA joined me as we dropped down to the lakeside and followed the trail along the side of it. A few more confusing checks that I don’t think any of the 3 of us kicked out… We were working in unison, taking turns to skip ahead missing the odd check here and there. Through the army village, along the side of the creek, and HRA started to stretch ahead, passing some walkers. One final check up at the corner of the dam, and I guess you are only as good as your last check.

Waited around for 15-20 mins for the next runners to come in and the set off home.

7th Mrch – CH3 – Knockout

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Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Who would hve though it? Decent ir in Mrch?

OK, before I crry on – I hould point out tht the ” nd ” key on my keybord ren’t working, nd I cn’t be red copying nd pting for the ke of write up. You cn figure it out if you wnt, or not bother if you don’t – I don’t relly cre!

new runite jut long from regulr one. o we were quickly on regulr tril. Up towrd lt mn tnding tril tht hed towrd Doi Pui. fter couple of check we followed the blue pipe up, nd when we hit the min tril there w Wimp Rmbo option. Th Rmbo heding further up, o I decided to l hed bck down.

10th Feb – CH3 – Strangely Anal & Graven Image

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

The airplane site out in between San Kampaeng & Doi Saket… It was a national holiday, so off work, I figured I’d head along and get out of the house for a bit. The air pollution was pretty bad in the morning, but improved through the afternoon, either way when HRA asked me to bring him some beer, I decided to head over to deliver some beer, but not head out on the run. So, while the pack set off, I hung around with the GM and the hares, had a beer, and maybe saw 3m of trail.

The excitement for us back at the A site was the owner of the property hearing that there was a bunch of farangs running around their airplanes… Plenty of negotiation later, it all calmed down, and we were ok to continue with the circle, but were later given a phone number to contact them if we were to ever go back there again.

Meanwhile some hashers did some running, and I did some drinking… Sloppy led the pack in… The circle was notable for somewhat offensive Nazi paraphernalia… I can safely say that if anyone tries to give me and expect me to wear an award that has a swastika on it, then that award would be destroyed very quickly. It was extremely distasteful, and Frozen Dick was absolutely correct to call it out.

2nd January – CH4 – HRA

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Best run of the year… so far…

Well, certainly an interesting experience! It was from the crematorium next to the Disco shelter, and I arrived in just enough time after work. Harebrief fumbled through and we were set off up the trail towards the hills. Poo and a visitor got the running going, only to get the first check wrong, and I found myself ahead until the 2nd check when I was back to the back. We dropped into a creek bed and then started climbing for real. It was a scramble for a while and then trail up, up, up…

At the top we turned left and headed down, down, down. On the way down the checks were all straight on, and whoever was up front kept nailing them, but the pack was all running hard down the hill. At the bottom, I got a check wrong – badly wrong as I went through the temple, headed towards the road. When it was called in the complete opposite direction, I was tempted to bail out – apparently Graven did, and was expecting to see me going back on the road. But no, reluctantly I turned left again and headed back into the mountains – how many times could we turn left?

The pack charged on ahead, while I slowed and was past by Anal Boring and Piggy. Piggy encouraged me to stick to paper, and reluctantly I did, but heading back up that hill wasn’t enjoyable! Finally we turned right, hacked steeply back down to the gully and then it was a gradual descent to the road. Piggy was walking not far ahead, but it took me a long time to close him down. As I got to him, he waved me past, but I was barely going quicker than him, when I slowed to a walk he started breaking away from me again, but at last we were back to the cold beer!

I recovered a bit… I got a beer… I took a shower… Changed… and was just about ready for a circle, when an ambulance showed up. I noticed HRA wasn’t about, and then started hearing stories about a hasher in trouble. On my phone I had an email from Alice with a pindrop, but no message, and no missed call. Nobody seemed to know what was going on, until FD appeared – it seems the stranded hashers had picked Frozen, our slowest hasher, to go to get help!

He told me to get in his truck and for the ambulance to follow us. In the car I got a little bit of information – Randy, a virgin brought by Anywan, had collapsed at the top of the hill – FD wasn’t sure if he would make it. We drove as close as we could, but then had to climb the mountain (again) – me in my work shoes by now. HRA grabbed a stretcher from the back of the ambulance, while the 2 paramedics chased him up the trail. Poo, Alice, HRA, myself and FD following along headed up.

As we got close to the pindrop, the group of hashers appeared out of the fading light – Randy had recovered, and he was ready to frogmarch down the hill to get out! They were waiting for us to show them a short cut? I have no idea, but for some reason I got to climb the bloody mountain an extra time tonight, while there was perfectly drinkable cold beer at the A site. All is well that ends well I guess…

28th December – CSH3 – Sinbad & Chatterbox

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Rating: 8.0/10 (2 votes cast)

By Alice

Sinbad and Chatterbox set an intriguing run out at BanPong,SKP, utilizing the area’s best features and ignoring most of their Vater’s advice as the run was a resounding success.

Chatterbox admitted to 5% creative control and SinBin 1000%. What this tells you is that Skiddy probably regrets hiring Rooter as Dana’s maths tutor.

The kids took
centre stage at the hare brief and Blows yelled for Hash Hush at 110 dB. Soon we were off and onto familiar trails but this time markings were good and the first checks didn’t send the pack onto the In trail, Belly and Skiddy please note.
We wiggled around and then climbed up the spillway and over the bridge to the dam. Obscene took over as circle guard. Public spiritedness or rank laziness? The jury is out.

Trail went down and then right along the road and into the forest. Here I was sure we’d be now doing an anti clockwise loop and after confusion at a forest circle with Pussy W striding back from the correct way and OnOn called behind him by perhaps Scooby Do’s new squeeze, all hell
broke lose with OnOn called by those OFF trail confusing everyone. Cartoon resting 50m up the hill and not shouting Checking but RU? to save himself checking properly was noticed.

Bodies blundered thru’ the forest so I bashed back to the original path and found powder about 2 giant PW strides from where he’d turned. I nailed the next circle, the short order V and almost the following circle. Here the pack caught me as I retraced steps and Just Coming found trail through the ravine and out the other side. Most of the way home was good running and a great circle to follow in the amphitheater of the BanPong lodge. Another CHS3 circle that felt and (looked) like CH4.
Wings for Alice from Chatterbox for being ‘always polite and positive’ and Blows Herself from SinBin for ‘bein a good runner and a good woman!’. What is that boy after ffs?
Onon

Lovely running trails

26th Dec – CH4 – Taste My Buns & Brownfinger

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Rating: 9.0/10 (2 votes cast)

By Alice

——

Tasty and Browny combined to set a real runners’ run out in the wilds of Mae Wang waaaay down south.
Well it wasn’t that far – but it was a bit further than it could have been as April Fools met Boxing Day and no HHH sign on Canal Rd obviously guaranteed confusion/loss/misery/argument and delivered in spades! LungLa will NOT turn where there’s no HHH or listen to female navigators like Pussy Galore who advise him to!

Apart from Suckit’s ancient non standard HH signs in blue and black and paper seemingly hidden under grass and rocks the first few hundred metres, this trail in two parts did exactly what it said on the tin.

First section
was more broken and farm trails, shiggy and dusty roads with lorry drivers handsomely paid to raise dust and choke us to death. Checks were basically impossible to predict and the pack was well exercised finding the damn things and carrying on. The straight ones were the killers!

One of the features this area is cross paths and paths off paths so you really needed half a dozen active checkers and callers. We sometimes got the numbers, but checkers who don’t shout Checking! make it harder than it needs to be for keen mid packers.

I was feeling pretty good after getting an early check right and feeling I was in the hares’ head. That lasted ‘til approximately the next check. I was forest 120m thataway and OnOn was called 100m t’otherway! Back to back marker quick sharp!

Early doors I was checking down a gully and heard Banksie calling checking. I heard the sound of rain drops and looked up to see our Dutch mannequin emptying his bladder above me. Drip, drip, drip. Shame I forgot about that by circle time.

We dipped into a dry creek bed and up the other side under the golden wat on the hill. Beer stop location last year I remembered.

Last section was more forest and suddenly we came out to this year’s beer stop and TmB very happy at our grouping.

Banks with his haemerroid and enlarged prostate set off without further ado. Someone called after him:Wtf are you going solo, you’ll have to do the checks alone!
Cartoon, Skiddy, Trash Bin Boy and Pussy Whisperer also set off briskly as I filled my face with banana, choc and a tiny, tasty orange.

Second leg was forest trail heaven. Browny admitted to a narcotic effect as he set. It wasn’t quite as happy, feely for me, especially as I ran into the False Trails and Belly, suddenly the demon headmaster, was barking:Who is ahead of us!?

Shortly I found out. Skiddy yomping at speed and Whisperer checking who I was before answering my RU? call.

The FRBs had broken circles and it was just perfect forest running for km here with one fcuk up. A check had been broken into an orchard but trail was back right in the forest. Luckily I saw shirts thru the trees and followed but worried for the runners behind.

Strangely Anal, Suckit, new dad Piggy, Blows, Knockout and Anally Boring were in the van and we made good time pushing each other along. Even Banks managed to stay relevant building up his fag appetite for later.

Graven overtook me in a gully after checking the wrong way and helpfully pointed to paper I’d missed up the opposite bank. That’s the Grinch’s good deed of the year!

Out into more open country and Piggy said: I can see the cars! This didn’t assist in solving the last check but soon enough we were at the most welcome clear OnIn printed sign.

Great run and looking forward to the BB on Sunday 5th January and not the date Helpful Harry aka Frozen Dick told everyone in the circle!

Silly Cow’s lovely visitors Olive Oil and potentially Reach Around experienced ice and down downs, while Hash lush Snowball’s UK mate from Seattle let on that his sponsor filmed for years in the NW only to finally release his film on their 1000th run. Maybe CH4 have to wait for that? Visitor Fast Crash from
Portugal but based in Mozambique also put ample cheek to ice. Sadly we missed Dogshit, Principal’s Bitch, Comes Over Her Back and her wife possibly because of the early pick up or maybe babysitter issues. Great visitors are great fun and well done hares for providing an excellent set for the H3 high season.

23rd December – CH3 – Angry Inch & Square Rooter

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Rating: 9.0/10 (1 vote cast)

Sometimes you get the hangover, and sometimes the hangover gets you… Today was a bit of both, one thing I am sure of is that I drank far too much on Sunday, and it seemed like the hangover kicked in after work as I drove to the runsite…

It was actually 8-Bit that was keen to go to the run. We got to the runsite, that is a stunningly beautiful spot, with a glorious view across a valley – such a shame that someone has been using it as a tip, dumping waste off the side of the hill filling the air with the stench of burning pampers.

The hares sent us off down into the valley with Poo & Crazy German running hard early on. I followed correctly through a few checks, but then had to check the wrong way and was back of the pack as we crossed a “grand canyon” – just a little scramble, before turning left and heading back up the hill to very close to the car. We were 2km in, and I was sorely tempted to call it a day. Instead we headed up the hill with 8-Bit just in front of me – probably better I keep my eye on him a bit longer.

Plenty of good checks kept the pack together and it really was a good set – I wish I was feeling better! Finally I bailed out and headed to the left of the trail. I emerged on the road at the same time the FRBs came running down the hill the other side of the road – great timing, but while they started checking, I was headed back along the road.

16th Dec – CH3 – Sheep Shagger & Belly Dancer

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Rating: 9.0/10 (1 vote cast)

By Alice

In organisational theory you may learn about Peter’s Principle whereby people are promoted to positions of incompetence and stay there. Well Sheepy has obviously been doing some study as he demoted Belly Dancer to paper boy and bag carrier, cancelling any executive powers, and the results were highly encouraging.
A new A-site at the white wat above Ban Pong, virgin paths for your scribe and most of the pack, clearly marked trails and cunning enough checks and falsies. What more could you want? Dogshit to get fucked up? Yes, we even had that!
I did worry as both songthaos and Suckit turned off left when signage indicated right on the way in and then again if the red trucks would make the gradient, but all was well.
We even had a visitor Hurdy Gurdy from Japan, Tokyo H3 and he ignored PigShit’s insult on the bus (If I could fff understand you, I’d probably agree with you..) and seemed to enjoy himself.
The takeaway from the stingray shaped run was Shrek’s lunatic determination to run where walking was sensible and see if he could exhaust himself hauling 100Kg + over steep terrain at altitude. Hopefully he’s recovered to live co-hare CH4 run with me in 2 days.
We headed out into the forest and cut leftish at the first check. We seemed to follow a ridge then descend to a road. From here on it was roughly anticlockwise coming back and we knew UP if it wasn’t A-B. Checks were exactly hard enough given the steepness and general age of the pack. False trails caught the FRBs now and again and kept us together.
The haul up,up,up was hard and luckily for Robin Banks his anal vent worked overtime producing rocket propulsion when needed. Not lucky for the rest of us.
Finally after about 4km we reached the out trail high in the forest and followed powder marks jogging back the last stretch to the wat. I had 4.9km total and loved it.
Circle was finely handled by HRA but I didn’t like a few misery guts calling ‘Short circle’ etc. That needs to stop. Especially as they mostly don’t bother making the effort to give splashes and the longer splashes from Shrek and Belly were worthy and well paced.
ONON CH3, quite a change in tempo and feel from Saturday.

14th Dec – CSH3 – Superman

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Rating: 5.0/10 (4 votes cast)

By Alice

Superman and his tribe hared a decent 6.6km trail out in the wilds past Prem School for CSH3 1500.

Trail started on fresh concrete and continued on fresh concrete for longer than the pack would forget. Once we got off into the green it was a lovely trail, farms, orchards and a few wide paths. My old hashmate Shut the Chuck Up from Saudi days turned up to add hair, beard and a fantastic Khobar Hash happi coat to proceedings.

Belly was off like a race horse and kept going for far longer than Anything is probably used to. Sloppy and KO with her mate Slow Gin seemed to disappear into the distance and Skiddy with SinBin shook a leg too.

W/R split after a Km and I moseyed along with STCU chatting and exchanging news.
Suddenly there were walkers infront and I realized we’d merged again. By the excellent 1500 On On we had Jersey Steamer for company too coming from a strange direction.

Celebration 1500 t-shirts were a tad smaller than usual Thai sizes but thanks to SM and SB for sponsoring – and HRA for artwork I’m guessing.

Usual circle nonsense – with Shagless and Cartoon the pick of the charges. I cleared off on my bike before the end as I was getting restless. I wish people would stand closer to the ice and not chatter loudly during the circle.

Onon CSH3 and well set Sups and crew. Strangely enough my odometer read 15000 when I left the A site. Cue Twilight Zone theme music.

FUC HHH #1 – Friday 13th December – BmY

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Rating: 9.0/10 (3 votes cast)

By Alice…

The best ideas are simple – and usually a slight tweak on an existing one. The EEC used to destroy wine lakes and grain mountains. Byte had a similar idea for the MIH amber mountain – but with more sociable results.

So we met 6pm just off Ruamchok Jct close to Byte Mansions and off we went FUCing. Or should I say Friday Urban ChiangMai H3ing.

It was dark very soon and we jogged along on flour and got strung out pretty fast. We went round in a big clockwise circle through the sois, moobaans, empty lots and even a temple. Powder was mostly good to see but circles could be tricky!
I chatted amiably with Krappy and then Belly and HRA. A check with a back trail messed up Suckit and soon I was jogging along with him, BD and HRA close behind as finding marks in the dark slowed me down from gentle jog to just above idling.

After perhaps 3km NOYB appeared roadside with a bootful of refreshments. A cold Tiger mid run, most convivial. Belly was bleating abit that his expected 1km saunter wasn’t turning out to be quite that and demanded inside info from NOYB who remained calm and nonchalant, professing little idea of how far was left. “You’re bloody driving and you came from there so you must know! pleaded the freshfaced Gooner.

Last 2km I jogged with Suckit trying to run on powder not the other side of the road. A last turn and lost trail. I went left – wrong. Suckit went right and there was Byte’s moobaan.

Poo and Young & Rich were out to find stragglers while we settled down on chairs to make a dent in that amber mountain.

After a quick debate we had a fun circle with a naughty chair. It was personable, good humoured and manageable – quite the opposite of the Malaysian invasion of CH4. The wing cap was purloined repeatedly until BmY produced a second to introduce more slapstick. Pooying sat on men being charged, big men sat on other men being charged and mayhem of the nicest kind ensued.

Great job Byte, Mrs and NOYB for trail, hosting and service. The rabble went home happy if not a tad squiffy.