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4th July – CH4 – Frozen Dick

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4th of July – apparently a significant date for some Americans. Fireworks? Hotdogs? Fair enough! The highlight for me was having Does Nothing come out for a beer – he does stick very well to his name, but I did enjoy his splash of Sex Pistol! Lets hope he comes out again soon – it really wasn’t any trouble with Purple Fart ably assisting.

We rolled up to FD’s back terrace, and there was a big crowd. Gorf & Scooby in town for next week’s Lanna was a little scary given my level of fitness (or lack of). I walked up to the first check with CW, and I went left while he went right. After 60m there was the OnIn! 😀 I was seriously tempted to call it a day! Someone insisted it was old, and we should check past it – why bother? But I dillied around for a bit, and was way back when it was called back in the opposite direction. With the FRBs in action up ahead, and a few checks that were just straight on, along narrow trails that were hard to run, or pass anyone, it took a long time for me to make any progress. Finally I heard people checking ahead, and then finally got to a check that nobody had picked yet.

I remembered this check from a week or so back, and it is a good one. As soon as I got there, and given that it hadn’t been solved yet, I made an about turn and headed up the least obvious hill, where there is a trail but it is impossible to see. Meanwhile everyone else had fanned out the other side of a barbed wire fence, looking up at me with bemused expressions as they tried to figure out how to get back to me!

I carried on up the hill and then got into a bit of a jog, knowing I would nail the next few checks. A “V” check, and this had to be left – Right would take you back around the hill towards where they had been checking before. The next one would be right, left is too soon, and FD likes this ridge trail – he’s used it for the CH3, the Bunnies and again for CH4. I just had to keep my eye out for the cut back down to the left as there was certainly an FT up ahead. CW started catching up and distracted my attention. Damnit – the FT. Even though I was exactly right with where to look for trail, it took me a while as he’d found a slightly different connect than he used last week. I found it after 80m or so, and the pack howled like Red Indians as they chased me down the hill.

Gorf caught me and must have been frustrated on the narrow trail for a while before he managed to find a way to skip past. Scooby and CW past soon after. I was moving faster than I wanted to, but kept my eyes looking to the left to try and spot where we would cut back over the hill. Sure enough Gorf came running back from a False Trail, but by now I realised I was overheating and needed to slow down. I found my own way back from here.

1st July – CH3 – ABB

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I’ve been fighting with an unpleasant hangover all day, so my brain definitely isn’t switched on today. I nearly went for a nap instead of heading to the hash, but forced myself out to get some exercise. I was late… Worse that expected traffic, and just generally taking longer than it should to get my shit together. The pack had 10 minutes on me when I set off – ABB offered me a short cut, but I decided against it – I need exercise!

From the shelter on the way to the Tiger Head, the trail set off out the back and over the little weir. As I’d been putting my shoes on I could hear CW as they looped around to the right and back to the road. From here trail crossed the road and head pretty straight towards the square lake, and it was here after 10 mins or so I caught Tiptoe & Frozen Dick. Across the lake I saw Softballs, and slowly reeled him in as the trail headed back towards the right.

Some of these trails were very tight – I could hear CW off to my right, but the trail didn’t immediately turn right. I could have short cut, but thought better of it and persevered. There was one bit that slowed me down as the bushes the paper was stapled to seemed to have been cut down.

And then all of a sudden there was the ONION! Around 4.5km – a short, flattish run, but given the state of my head, I was happy to be sat drinking water.

Canada Day eh?

29th June – CSH3 – Turkish Delight

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The Sloppy Rod called me in the morning to ask where we would go to run today, and we both agreed that sometimes Turkey sets good trails, and given the runsite (near Canal Road Football Field) he couldn’t go far wrong….

A fairly big turnout, and nice to see Crazy Crack & Ravenous again – along with a rather exhibitionist smoking friend. We set off on familiar trails and immediately there was a sharp right towards a “mostly deadend” – the resulting FT just meant all the FRBs were stuck behind the rest of the pack along a single trail.

After a while we were able to run, and promptly hit another false trail and a few more checks as we made our way along the bottom of the hill. Then we started the climb – I was surprised why a few hashers ran past me up the wide road, only to then walk ahead of me down the single track, but it was ok – obviously a hill was coming and I needed to pace myself. Up ahead the checks were pretty much straight on, and CW was leading the way with Doesn’t Get It putting in a fine performance!

Near the top, I caught up a bit as Crazy Crack was telling everyone that the left had already been checked… – I didn’t believe it, and sure enough found paper and was ahead for once, with Sloppy and Doesn’t Get It traversing to catch me. Finally at the peak we turned left ready for the descent, which was a little treacherous, and I took my time, while CW flew past racing with Sloppy.

I followed down the hill, and it seemed they were skipping along holding hand at the checks as they weren’t helping the chasing pack. We came out onto the road and I spied them running together having checked the wrong way – they weren’t holding hands… I hit the road maybe 30-40m behind them, but they were on a mission and started pulling away, while behind me the pack drifted further back. Finally trail led off to the left – an absolute 100% false trail! Sure enough, I rounded the corner back on paper, and the pair of them tried to catch me as we continued onin down the road.

The checks could have been trickier, but the route was nice!

27th June – CH4 – Softballs & Snowballs

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Balls! When 2 balls get together, what can you expect? Back out to the lake at San Kampaeng, and we were promised in the harebrief that we wouldn’t accidentally get onto Mondays paper – but who knows about any other run?! From the way Snowballs fell out the songthaew, I wondered how long he’d been drinking… – was it before they laid trail?

We set off in the direction we were pointed, but even though we were going around the lake in the usual way, it took us a while to find the first paper. Not the best of starts! The first circle was by a few cows. I’ve put checks here before, so know exactly where the 100m point is – CW was some way past it before he called us on. I was jogging gently, as it was me, CW & Blows Herself with a bit of an advantage as we went along the canal. We could have done with some more paper, as it was alternating calls of “ONON” and “Looking”.

CW suggested we stuck together as a 3some, as it looked like it wouldn’t be easy… Moments later we were split apart and all came in separately from different directions! I found a couple of checks a bit confusing – even though we were right, I wasn’t convinced it was right, and ended up exploring a little and then on some other paper, that I think was from Cartoon… After looping around I was back at the canal, and tempted to head home. I was 45 minutes in, but with plenty of daylight, I changed my mind and went back to where things had got confusing, and braved my way up the steep climb. Each time I got to paper, I had to pause and try to pick out another piece – tricky when I was off trail, and the route seemed to sharply turn from left to right and back again. Finally at the top of the hill, I assume there had been a check there, as there was paper strewn on the ground leading into the middle of an overgrown ‘field’. It took a while, but I did manage to get back on paper, and there was Tiptoe & Ball Breaker.

I was back on familiar ground now, headed back towards the lake, but again I got off paper. This time I gave up and carried on on my own – ending up the wrong side of the lake and coming in the wrong way. Most of the pack were there to quiz me on what had gone wrong. I had barely finished the story when Chuckie came in – also from the wrong direction, also solo…

“A bit confusing”, was an understatement!

24th June – CH3 – Soft Balls

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It was a trip out to the lake by Alpine Golf Course, and the first run I’d been on set by Softballs… It was a bit warm, so I set off alongside Pigshit, taking tips on how to come from behind by walking very slowly at the start. I tried, but after a while, I edged my way forwards.

It was CW & Skid Mark setting the pace, and I trotted along behind them. Rice fields to the right, we were heading along a nice trail along the bottom of a hill to the left. Wimp Rambo split had the Wimps heading off to the right, but instinct would have suggested the Rambo trail would be to the left back over the hill. We hit a stretch of about a KM with no checks, and I caught Skidmark while CW was up ahead. CW also expected to turn left, and got the V check wrong. In the meantime, I’d changed my mind, and guessed that the reason there were no checks was that we were heading back parallel to where we were.

I was right, and managed to jog along – another KM back with no checks, while CW slowly reeled me in and caught me at the beer stop. We were back on the road, but we struggled for a moment not spotting paper heading into the rice field to the left – an abrupt road crossing apparently. CW did spot it, about the same time I found paper further up the road, so I carried on walking so he would catch up. Seems there was plenty of confusion from there on, as paper wasn’t easy to spot. I rounded a corner and suddenly found CW & Skiddy appearing again in front of me not long before the ONIN.

Badly needed exercise!

22nd June – CSH3 – Just Cumming

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I don’t think the GM likes us… Today was one of the hottest days – not a cloud in the sky, I’d dread to think what it must have been like for him setting it during the day! 😮

Given the runsite, it was unlikely to be flat – JC came to apologise to me before anything else! I remember Big Top setting a run from here – or rather attempting to set a run, and having all kinds of problems… A ball breaker some years ago was from the same place as well… It would take some skill to put together something decent! Sloppy was confident JC would pull it off.

We set off up the road… – maybe a km of tarmac, with the emphasis on “UP”. It was all up… The first check, everyone went right, and left me, CW & Sloppy ambling slowing along the road, chatting and waiting to be called back. But there was paper, and I found myself leading the way up the road. Not long later I found myself following Skiddy up a steeeeeeeep hill with the sun pounding down on my back.

It improved slightly when we entered the tree line, but the hill was hardly started. I trudged on, praying it would soon be over, but it was relentless. On top, there was some decent trails, and I imagined running them, but sadly my legs were jelly by the time we got there. There was some good views, and some agility required to navigate a pipe rather than a trail, and when it came to the downhill bit, it was over far too fast.

That must have taken a lot of effort to put together!

17th June – CH3 – Frozen Dick (And Shrek)

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Another FD run from his backyard – this time purportedly assisted by Shrek, although Shrek was clearly too embarrassed to show up and have his name associated with it! It wasn’t that bad Shrek!

As I walked out of the A bucket, with Skiddy, Ting Tong & Turkish, I noted the absence of many of the usual FRBs – no CW, no Cartoon, no seasonals… I might have to do some work here. First check came very quickly, and I got it very wrong, but trying to start off gently it wasn’t a big deal. I caught up to Piggy, just as we saw some confusion further ahead. It seems Skiddy had missed his sticks – Piggy & I glanced to the right and saw paper. We looped around a field and down to a familiar multiway junction for a check. I tried 2 ways before ABB found it going sharply up the hill. I remember doing this hill in reverse not so long back – the view was spectacular today!

At the top, another circle, and despite getting there first, ABB stood looking at the circle. Turkish went straight on, I drifted off to the right (there is a shack and we’d been up that way before). Others arrived and spread out – for a small top of a steep hill, there weren’t many options. I went back to the circle and decided reluctantly to head down the steep side to the left. If I was wrong, I wasn’t looking forward to climbing back up, but thank F for that, there was paper on the back of a tree and now I had a serious advantage!

Back down into the valley, and I jogged along for a bit. V check! Got it wrong, but was back on trail as they appeared at the check. OnOn straight into some Skiddy Sticks. Damnit! I think we all wanted to look to the right, but when I finally saw a trail off up to the left, I was surprised nobody had checked it yet. It was a bit of a climb, but there was paper and I was off again! Uphill mostly, but I was moving along ok, and when the trail steered even further to the left it was highly unlikely. I turned sharp right back on myself, and when I saw the paper knew there must be some more sticks ahead there. I called out to those following me – but none of those lazy bastards bothered to make it clear for the walkers.

Downhill now, and I could run a bit. A V-check, and as I turned right, I thought it might be possible to get around the side of the hill – looking at my strava, that was clearly a dumb choice! It was left, but I was back at the check when Skiddy was marking it. Down the hill and out into the valley – we were heading back and I was ahead. A familiar trail off to the left, and no check – I assumed it was too obviously straight so the hare hadn’t bothered, only to hit some more MOTHER FUCKING sticks! Man I was pissed by that set! Half the pack had past me as we followed Piggy for a while. Piggy using his trademarked strategy of doing fuck all for most of the run, and then creaming the end.

I knew we had to be turning right, and lucked out with a check that went back up over the hill. Turkish was looking forlornly from the opposite side of a deep ravine. Som Nam Na! From here it was a LONG run out to the OnIn. Piggy slowly reeled me in, and settled into a steady pace when he caught me, urging me to keep going. Finally there was the OnIn, and I walked the last bit while Piggy breezed his way to the beer.

15th June – CSH3 – Skidmark

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Sloppy called me this morning and suggested there might be some nice trails around where Skiddy was going to set the run – there might be, maybe one day we will find out! The directions to the runsite deserve an award for the most complex ever – I’ve driven past this spot on the way to one of my preferred spots, so ignored the directions and went my own way.

The hare brief wasn’t. But finally we got off and ran down the “runway” from the air adventures center. It was out into the ricefields – fortunately out of season, but it meant the first km or so was pretty miserable scrambling along. Through an orchard and out onto the road. Luckily it wasn’t thaaat hot, and my fitness seemed comparable to the pack. We went past a deserted hotel, that once I was considering using for a halloween run. For a while we were on what seemed like the abandoned roads of a potential moobaan.

A bit too much tarmac, but I somehow got to the front where a check was clearly missing, and here Turkish led CW astray and I managed to stay ahead for a while. That was until getting a check very badly wrong, and instantly the pack was together and looking confused at a busy crowded market – we could have been in the city!

A bit more road, and then back across the paddies – on a nicer trail this time. CW was way ahead the other side of the field, but I made my best efforts alongside Turkish. A good 7.5km of exercise that my body desperately needs.

6th June – CH4 – Pigshit & ABB

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The Ob Kham Hex is probably the furthest runsite from home, but after 4-5 months of hardly doing anything, and being lazy over the past week, I need some exercise… I arrived with moments to spare, but the hare told me to “Fuck Off” when he was going to give the walkers a tip. I strolled along at the back of the pack as we headed into the ‘park’. A circle was called about 40m ahead, and at that moment there was a road/trail off to my right. I glanced down it and sure enough there was something white in view. I jogged over to it, and sure enough it was paper, but there was something wrong – it seemed to be going around the corner from 2 different directions, and just didn’t feel like it was the right paper from the check, so I went back. I discussed it with Shrek and Cabbage Patch, and was just doubting my decision when HRA called the ON from completely the opposite direction. I had found the In-Trail.

KO still hasn’t left, so she led for a while, and then Shrek & I took over. Knowing it must be clockwise had me guessing the next check wrong, and so I was a bit behind as we went along the road and into another old circle site. HRA has set a run their before and so he headed up the steep ridge. I reluctantly followed, fearing it was a case of climbing the steep bank, just to go back down again the otherside – and as we got back to the road, the walkers were walking past on the back of their inside information. I meanwhile was hot… really hot…

We kept to the road for a bit, but I was struggling with the heat and dropped off the pack. I was tempted to short cut, I was tempted to turn back… When I saw Tiptoe going back complaining about the heat and humidity, I was really tempted to go with him, but I was there for the exercise and sweating a lot. I knew roughly where I was, and figured I was over halfway as we went up the hill turning to the right. I was walking, and enjoying the great colours in the late afternoon sunlight, and the peace of my solitude.

There was a moment when the clouds seemed to emerge, a bit of a breeze, and it started cooling down. By then, I was into walking mode, and couldn’t get going again, so I continued to walk. Any moment now we’d be turning right and heading in.

A check must have fooled most of the pack as it went straight away from the way we needed to go! I was sorely tempted to turn right and short cut, but my interest was piqued, so I carried on. I could finally hear calls up ahead, CW and HRA! Just ahead, and then just off to the right, and then behind, and going further away… A km or so later, I got to where they must have been after doing a big loop. It was a nice loop through an orchard, and then I was nearly home. I got to see the paper at the corner again, and was once again tempted to short cut my way back, but the trail turned away again, and I stuck on paper around the hill and in not long before the circle started. Damn I need some exercise!

30th May – CH4 – Mr. Poo & KO

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Mr. Poo & KO teamed up for a farewell hash before their sojourn back to the UK. From the Sameong Road football field, I spent most of the day pondering whether they would send us up the temple steps as a final FU! Fortunately not, and what ensued was a great set, and the appeal of the event drew out several extra hashers like Turkish & Sloppy Rod.

We set off towards the river, and there was a new bamboo bridge in sight of the first circle, and inevitably we went over it. The next check by the dried up paddy field took a while to solve – we went left, we went right (when I say we, I mostly just mingled and watched). Nothing, so I started going backwards, and Sloppy was convinced we were going back across the river, to the extent that he jumped in and waded his way across… I think it was Snail Trail that called it from in the middle of the rice field.

I went the long way around the rice field – even though it was dried up. So it took me a while to get back through the pack. A pleasant conversation with various hashers as I made my way. A couple of decent checks and I was back in the mix, but also feeling the heat so not wanting to put too much effort in. Along the rubber wall, which is no longer covered in rubber, so really should be renamed. Then towards the hill, which made me reluctant.

These are great trails, and the light rain was cooling, but I could have done with it being even cooler. We past a “house” that has progressed since last time, but there was no trail marked off to the right as I’d hoped. Instead there was Poo & KO smiling with beers. Beer stops are great, but I wanted to press on and get to the end. Sure enough it was a false trail and we had to go back up the hill to “house” and finally we were on the way back home. If I learnt nothing else, I know I have lost a hell of a lot of fitness over the past 4 months…

Great run, great circle, great ononon… The Poos will be sorely missed.