Category Archives: Blog

9/9/2019 – CH3 – HRA

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

It was Delboy’s 43rd birthday and what surprises and treats would HRA have in store for us?
Plenty as it happened…

Would he rehash his last run? No! He sneakily rehashed one of Cumalot’s from a year ago instead!

Potato Head got the first check right and in very splashable style waved his arms up and down on the road yelling, “Paper here! I’ve found it!”

We soon turned for the forest on the right and here I blitzed 3 or 4 checks heading up into the Doi. Cartoon found the 5th to the right as I blundered about in the trees well away to the left and by the time I’d got back, half the plodde…also-ra….pack had passed me.

The loping ABB stepped aside as I jogged along the lovely forest trail, Pussy Whisperer too, but Piggy shimmied this way and that upon my polite call of, “Passing left please!”
“Which left do you mean?” he barked.
“ The other left!”
‘FO grandad!’ he’s getting next time!

Cartoon was nailing checks and Delboy although the stronger runner, was taking the duff options then catching up. As we came to another circle near properties, he went straight on the best trail. I went right around a garden fence while the lemmings followed best option Del, apart from honest Krapthai who went left.

Paper! I called Onon and put my (newish) Decathlons to the road. At the next corner I was on again after yet another circle and followed concrete for another few hundred meters. Shit. No paper. Go back. Double shit. FT partially hidden.
Leaving the strips on the fence, I turned into an orchard 50m back and bingo! A left, left box in the woods brought me back almost to where I’d turned back after the FT. I really pushed myself to keep ahead and couldn’t credit I was ahead of Delboy.
Back along familiar trail and a sharp left through a bamboo gate. Cartoon missed this but Del didn’t and caught me in the forest about 10m shy of the powder OnIn.
We ran in together to a wave from HRA.
Super run and 5.4km for me in decent time.
Capt Kagan enjoyed Frozen Morgan’s Spicy Rum and ABB excoriated all the non drinkers for getting sloshed.
Back at MadDog, the ever inventive Pussy W suggested a breathalyzer test be applied to all hashers after the circle to determine their Hash fee on a sliding scale.
A suggestion deserving of serious AGFU consideration.
Onon and HBFU Delboy.

2nd Sept – CH3 – Emma Royde

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Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Oh dear. The RA certainly fixed it for me. Like Jimmy Bleedin’ Savile fixed shit. Soaked thru for 30 mins on the drive in and home, and same same during the run. Nice weather for ducks as my old man would say. And fcuking idiot hashers on motorbikes too!

Arriving just pre-hare brief, I glimpsed Emma Royde’s snazzy ERII checks and heard there was W-R split. Eggelen chimed in both my knees together.

On the way out ShSh, Frozen and self were at the rear again and considering the big questions of the day. Was that gate aluminum or aluminum? Was it painted or anodized? Lucky the rain cooled my fevered brain as ShSh and FD demonstrated how we Brits and Septics are indeed two peoples, separated by a common language.

The rain fell even heavier and we turned off into orchards and then forest. Tiptoe and Rooter were ahead meandering this way and that in search of clear paper and trail.
Finding a damp strip I yelled OnOn! and realized Rooter wasn’t aware of our presence as he breakdanced like 10,000 V had just gone up his leg.

The ground softening, I headed on alone along flooding muddy trails until I got to checks where I checked and returned to the others, sometimes to give them the right info and sometimes not, as returning to a check discombobulated me somewhat. Was it left or the other left? Fcuk, I’m confused!

It really was something, shallow streams flowing along the forest paths and pools forming in dips. Still it hammered down and soon we were returning to the settled area and the A site at the cock ring shelter.

A few sick, lame and idle bastards were already there so we swapped excuses and waited for the pack to return.

ShSh headed off for another loop having told me my knee issues are all to do with wrong shoes and being too heavy for them. Sauce!

The circle was enjoyable with Piggy, Belly and ABB along with HRA the GM entertaining us with their wit, ribaldry and general character assassination. Saying that, I did get a sharp intake of breath when I contrasted clean living, upstanding hasher Pussy Whisperer with Purple Fart, the hasher most likely to breed with another species!

Rather wonderfully Tom Callahan the Co-Hare didn’t know what a brolly was, so eventually we settled on his Hash handle as Mary Poppins, to raucous cheers. Piggy did the honours in style, an MC of some talent, weddings, award nights and circumcisions a speciality I hear.
Great set in a lovely area with a shelter fit for circles – and for cockfighting! Well done Emma and Mary Poppins!

Chim-chimney, chim-chimney, chim chim cheroo…keep your fcuking shorts on next time, Skiddy please do!

30th August – CH4 – HRA

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Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

By Alice

Well ffs, it’s his area, his bloody shelter, so what did we expect? A Poo run or even worse a Horny Monkey FU?
No, it was HRA at his knavish, conniving best, mixing trickery with fuckery, added to a firm grasp of geography! Yep I enjoyed it, although my left knee and Achilles disagree.

The first section in the woods he’s used a year or two back and I didn’t know where we were going until we reached a red gravel steep decline where Angry Inch tried to top himself.
TmB and Byte were out ahead and checks were done when I arrived, having enjoyed ShSh’s ergonomic and economic comparison of Decathlon and Saloman footwear.

Frozen Dick also started at the back with us but he was tired after the gym so dropped back quickly.

I started to see and hear Pussy W, Krapthai and Pigshite up ahead but didn’t quite catch up until we’d wiggled down the hillside and across the narrow valley to the hillside on the other side where the hare led us on the raised path into the forest and steep down to the track again.
From about half way I could have got home in half the time but played the game and enjoyed the unpredictability of HRA’s twists, turns and jerks.
Along the valley I felt good and passing Pussy Whisperer called out “Let the runners run!”Knowing this was probably a prelude to a painful face plant or bamboo impalement, I wended my way carefully, allowing him to pass me somehow a few times further on as I checked wrong.
TmB found trail to the left through a property but the dogs and tiredness compelled me to jog around the loop and sure enough there she was 5 min later exiting onto my trail.
The next check at the V had her heading to GC Rd and I went left round the loop back towards the Doi. Could it be the sneaky cut thru aka HRA alley? Yes it was, but I stayed on paper to the FT and retraced my steps ripping down the strips and indicating the turn. Emma Royde caught up about here and my pants fell down, with bottle and cap inside my shorts. TmB turned around to see the re-arrangement dance and it wasn’t pretty.

Back towards the Doi and options for the hare. I chose Doi again – wrong – and TmB somehow found the next check before she found paper.
Emma went down, TmB went back left forest and Alice went overgrown field and Onon!
The next check was also a head scratcher and it was called back in the Doi. I shadowed at a lower level then rejoined after 300m.
The run in was welcomed but not the sight of PW ahead of me AGAIN! Loping, long legged sealhacker be damned!
Relaxed circle and lovely splashes from Laid Back and TmB.
Top set from HRA and enjoyable domestic with Cumalot over the missing haberdashery and other responsibilities etc.

26th August – CH3 – Alice

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Rating: 8.0/10 (2 votes cast)

It was out in Sankampaeng, near the ‘airplanes’ – I’ve never made it to a run here, so it was clear early on that the likes of Cartoon had some advantage. I arrived with enough time to get changed, grab a bottle of water, but unfortunately the over exuberant hare had set them off already, but it wasn’t far around the corner when I started picking off the walkers – Libbers, Tiptoe, Frozen etc.

It was going to be flat, and wet and it wasn’t long before we were dancing over flooded waterways. I was back with the pack well before the first of the beerstops – here I went the wrong way, so was catching up again as we ran along the road. Trail turned right at a junction with no check, which was immediately suspicious. Up ahead the likes of Cartoon and Skiddy were paused, but then carried on, but without any call that I heard. When I got 80m down the trail there was a circle. Typical – if only someone had called. By now they had scattered onwards, so I turned around and went back to the road – here Belly got a slight advantage over me and HRA and he put in a bit of a jog. We chased him down as the road went through some ricefields.

Again my radar was suspicious, and I spotted something whitish off to the left and decided to check it out, even with Cartoon calling from behind me that he could see the paper going straight on – presumably to a false trail, but you’d need to hide it a bit better to trick me. Here we got onto quite a nice trail that was headed back in the general direction of A with a creek on the left. HRA, Cartoon and I took turns until a check visible the other side of a metal bridge. The construction of the bridge was clearly very stable, but it was rusty, and my hatred of bridges took me a while to brave crossing it, even with a second beer stop just on the other side!

A second beer stop – what a treat! The pack was a bit ahead of me heading back towards the road, and I suspected my chances were over. I forced myself to jog, and found I was feeling better than I have recently – hopefully early signs that my fitness is returning? Sheep Shagger ran past the turning off the road, and then we were following Cartoon who was suddenly off paper up ahead – I looked to my right, and there was the false trail. Back a few steps and into an alley, when SS called it, I darted past and hit the front with Cartoon splashing through the mud to my right. Around the corner, we must be close by now and I was flowing along, until another FT. Damnit! Those following me turned around as well, and all ran past a turning at the back of the temple – I ducked into it, and sure enough there was paper and it was just a short way around the temple and I spotted my car and the A site on my right.

Nice one!

22nd August – CH4 – Cartoon

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Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

By Alice

The RA didn’t quite manage to do his duty with the weathergods and the hare thought a straw sunshade was a good enough rain shelter. Didn’t Cartoon ever hear what happened to the little piggies when the big bad wolf blew on the house of straw?
Well the little group of hashers were likewise compromised when the heavens opened and the circle was short and mostly sweet, apart from some new hasher singing a hash version of Livin’ on a Prayer for a down down song. Liked the chorus mind, just the preamble could be dropped next time.
So Cartoon likes SKP. He lives there and sets runs from his front garden so it was said.
Well he knew a pretty good route and we were the ones who were rooted. Small pack, easy enough checks and super well marked….. er, not quite.
TMB started off as the only runner but some of us jogged along in her wake catching up when the FT and circle checks got her. Which they did often.
ABB, Pussy Whisperer and self made the second string FRB team and even sometimes took the lead.
Paper was sometimes sparse in areas you needed to see more and I struggled a few times just following trail when on. Finding the 2nd paper after a check was harder than the first on occasion. Never mind, the rain made it cool, the “flat run with a view” promised a hill naturally and delivered. It was hard work puffing up and a check in a ravine had me bashing a gulley to the right while TMB and ABB went straight and found trail but I didn’t hear – and the circle was unbroken.
Catching TMB at the saddle, she was returning with strips from a FT, I found a small forest path but no go. As I turned I espied paper on the trees flanking the monks’ steps and yelled OnOn loudly at least thrice back up the steps. Skipping down with heavy waterlogged gators and worried about slipping, I got to the bottom and nailed the next check too. TMB didn’t hear and I wondered where she’d got to!
Down I came and although I lost paper a few times, I managed to re-join trail with some intelligent guesswork. My followers would have an equally hard time of it I surmised.
The canal reassured me I was close ish and a few paperless sections were minor worries as I jogged fairly strongly homewards. Suddenly a sodden chalk arrow soon I was looking at the big lake. No sign if I should go left or right so I retraced the out trail clockwise around the lake only to be asked by the hare if I’d done the walkers’ trail. Fcuker!
6.4km nice trail and then 20km home on the bike in the pissing rain.
Welcome back to CM ☔️

15th August – CH4 – Emma Royde

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A run in Maerim? It’s been a while since we’ve been running there, so I was excited that my lab finished early enough that I could make it… Dashed out of the room to the car, only to find I had forgotten my shoes, so had to swing by the house on the way to the A. Fortunately I had enough time, even though the A was much further than expected… Tucked away in a spot I had never been to before.

We had visitors and virgins – nearly as many as regulars! After a brief chat and harebrief we were set off – while I’ve been trying to get into the habit of walking at the start, it was downhill so I tried to shake out my sore legs from yesterday’s exercise. At the bottom of the hill a circle – I looked left and saw a gate, so turned right and headed around the corner – I was on. And this process continued for some time – The pack of visitors were clearly faster than me, but they spent their time holding hands, cuddling etc. at the checks, so I was staying ahead and just kept guessing right. Poor Cartoon behind me was left with 2nd or 3rd choice each time.

Finally after 4km, the visitor couple caught me up, overtook and had first choice at the check. It was so sweet as they didn’t want to leave each other, but were forced to check different trails. Ever the gentleman, when he found the trail he waited for others to catch up before running off. By this point, I was happy walking in the pleasant countryside – and was quite content when I saw the cars before I got to the 7km promised by the hare! Good run all on trails that were new to me!

25th July – CH4 – Sheep Shagger

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SS likes going off on long runs, so expectations were high that we would have long one, with plenty of good runnable trails! It’s been a while since I’ve been out at the quarries on the left of Sameong road, and some things have changed a little. We set off the wrong way around the small lake by the temple – it maybe added an extra 100m or so, and meant we had to go through the long grass. Then a circle check by the temple.

I headed straight on and around to the right towards the other exit of the temple, and sure enough, eventually I saw paper. At the exit there was a V check, and this time I got it wrong, so was behind much of the pack as we went down into the quarry – once upon a time the trail was quite wide, now it was a narrow balance beam with a death defying drop off either side – I didn’t enjoy it much, and ended up inching my way along on my ass.

After climbing up the other side, I caught up when the FRBs came back from a false trail. We were now limited as to where the trail might go, and another circle had me checking maybe 140m before I found the paper. We headed through a gate at a clutch point – I wondered how we would get back, and as CW caught up we chatted about why there was no check. We continued with no checks – no wonder the hare had plenty left over for the hare brief.

Trail seemed to stop, and then continued up a steep climb, looping around in a circle. Then a sign saying go back following pink paper. We ignored it, and followed CW & Piggy ass they called “ON Rambo”, taking us back along the trail we’d already been on. Finally we went back and followed the pink paper back to the A – almost 4km in length – wow! Rainy season – could probably have done with a shelter!

22nd July – CH3 – Cartoon

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We were back out at the San Kampaeng lake to see what Cartoon would give us this time. I set off walking with CW & Emmaroyde, but it was quite a way before we got a check, so in the end we started jogging. Finally a check, and we carried on up and over the little hill where the dirt bikes often play around, and from there we were onto the trail along the side of the hill – would we turn right into the rice fields, or left over the hill?

A false trail slowed us down as it seemed that the trail continued forwards from it, just off to the left. HRA seemed on good form as he led the way for a while. It was decision time, and we were right by the last real option for going over the hill – TMB’s trail – sure enough Emmaroyde led the way, a little bit ahead of CW and me. Its a bit of a push to get up, scrambling over the rocks.

Back down the other side, and CW was leading the way to the left – I took the easier route along the road, and rejoined at another circle. We were on the way back now, but there were still choices – a false trail, I’d called before we got to it, but still the hare managed to catch us out at the canal, as we didn’t expect to go back in on the out trail – sneaky.

4th July – CH4 – Frozen Dick

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4th of July – apparently a significant date for some Americans. Fireworks? Hotdogs? Fair enough! The highlight for me was having Does Nothing come out for a beer – he does stick very well to his name, but I did enjoy his splash of Sex Pistol! Lets hope he comes out again soon – it really wasn’t any trouble with Purple Fart ably assisting.

We rolled up to FD’s back terrace, and there was a big crowd. Gorf & Scooby in town for next week’s Lanna was a little scary given my level of fitness (or lack of). I walked up to the first check with CW, and I went left while he went right. After 60m there was the OnIn! 😀 I was seriously tempted to call it a day! Someone insisted it was old, and we should check past it – why bother? But I dillied around for a bit, and was way back when it was called back in the opposite direction. With the FRBs in action up ahead, and a few checks that were just straight on, along narrow trails that were hard to run, or pass anyone, it took a long time for me to make any progress. Finally I heard people checking ahead, and then finally got to a check that nobody had picked yet.

I remembered this check from a week or so back, and it is a good one. As soon as I got there, and given that it hadn’t been solved yet, I made an about turn and headed up the least obvious hill, where there is a trail but it is impossible to see. Meanwhile everyone else had fanned out the other side of a barbed wire fence, looking up at me with bemused expressions as they tried to figure out how to get back to me!

I carried on up the hill and then got into a bit of a jog, knowing I would nail the next few checks. A “V” check, and this had to be left – Right would take you back around the hill towards where they had been checking before. The next one would be right, left is too soon, and FD likes this ridge trail – he’s used it for the CH3, the Bunnies and again for CH4. I just had to keep my eye out for the cut back down to the left as there was certainly an FT up ahead. CW started catching up and distracted my attention. Damnit – the FT. Even though I was exactly right with where to look for trail, it took me a while as he’d found a slightly different connect than he used last week. I found it after 80m or so, and the pack howled like Red Indians as they chased me down the hill.

Gorf caught me and must have been frustrated on the narrow trail for a while before he managed to find a way to skip past. Scooby and CW past soon after. I was moving faster than I wanted to, but kept my eyes looking to the left to try and spot where we would cut back over the hill. Sure enough Gorf came running back from a False Trail, but by now I realised I was overheating and needed to slow down. I found my own way back from here.

1st July – CH3 – ABB

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I’ve been fighting with an unpleasant hangover all day, so my brain definitely isn’t switched on today. I nearly went for a nap instead of heading to the hash, but forced myself out to get some exercise. I was late… Worse that expected traffic, and just generally taking longer than it should to get my shit together. The pack had 10 minutes on me when I set off – ABB offered me a short cut, but I decided against it – I need exercise!

From the shelter on the way to the Tiger Head, the trail set off out the back and over the little weir. As I’d been putting my shoes on I could hear CW as they looped around to the right and back to the road. From here trail crossed the road and head pretty straight towards the square lake, and it was here after 10 mins or so I caught Tiptoe & Frozen Dick. Across the lake I saw Softballs, and slowly reeled him in as the trail headed back towards the right.

Some of these trails were very tight – I could hear CW off to my right, but the trail didn’t immediately turn right. I could have short cut, but thought better of it and persevered. There was one bit that slowed me down as the bushes the paper was stapled to seemed to have been cut down.

And then all of a sudden there was the ONION! Around 4.5km – a short, flattish run, but given the state of my head, I was happy to be sat drinking water.

Canada Day eh?