Category Archives: Blog

7th May – CH3 – Bendover

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A last minute change of runsite had some confused. As I meandered down the river bank I missed a sign and kept going until I bumped into the hare stood looking confused in a kids park. He told me to backtrack, and it turns out I was just the wrong side of the river.

A decent turn out for this time of year. The harebrief informed us of obstakles ahead, and I could immediately think of one that was nearby. We were set off to cross the iron bridge over the river, which suggested we would have to come back across the road bridge a bit to the north – or swim.

My legs were screaming at me, and I settled into a steady pace a bit off the front. Cartoon leading for a while, and then Angry Inch. Chuckie finally got into the mix after arriving late. There was a little bit on trail, but it was mostly road running. Sure enough we were back on the main road at a bridge and back across the river.

Plenty more road to come, and I gradually slipped further off the pace. It was hot and humid. I reached the beer stop with Jungle Chim and ABB. We were some way off the front, but kept going, and opted for the rambo option. Still mostly on roads, but a bit in an orchard. Finally we hit the largish canal, and I knew what the obstakle was going to be. New markings with an “RO”, but at this point, I opted for a third choice and headed in for a beer.

3rd May – CH4 – Turkish Delight

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Turkish Delight setting a run for the Happy Hash? Awesome! I couldn’t wait for a Turkish Delight circle – he’d be a great candidate for GM! 😀

So, with the skies blue, I headed down the canal road to the Ob Kham turnoff, and followed signs in to the “new” road, and back almost as far as the football field – Turkey, turkey turkey! that was a long way to get us to the runsite! Anyway, there was a reasonable turnout, with some virgins and visitors. I finished up some work on the phone and was ready for the off.

Despite the new road, the trails were familiar and he set us off towards an old runsite. We picked up paper to the right, and I was fast walking ahead until TMB & EmmaRoyde caught up behind and then walked with me – I didn’t see an ONIN, were they afraid to overtake? Then we didn’t see any paper until someone spotted a FT on the back of a tree. Hmmmz… Turkish, the king of innovation had decided to put a false trail from the first bit of paper!!! None of the trail had been true yet, we had to go all the way back, and eventually one of the walkers called it from a long, long way off – I think the walker had probably given up and gone for their own walk only to find themself FRB.

Another circle, and a third check at the old circle site. It seemed we were sticking to the main ‘road’ trails, as we turned left following Greasy. I put in some effort for a while, overtaking a few people, before I realised that it was fooking hot, and I am fooking unfit. I slowed to a walk as Sleeps On It ran past me. At the next check, I did some checking, figuring Turkey hadn’t put much effort in and would just bring us back around the roads. I was wrong – it turns out Turkey had put a LOT of effort in and set a really great run! So good, I could only manage part of it…

We turned right through the forest and did a nice loop along small forest trails. I was mostly walking, and with ABB spotted an opportunity to short cut when the trail turned sharply back on itself. I was starting to stagger from the heat, and had to take my top off to try and cool down a bit, but the trail was turning ominously to the right, and towards the hill. I know there is a great ridge trail over there, and that is really the only way to get back to the A without the hare resetting trail, but it is a climb to get to it… I am hot and unfit…

I went up the first hill… And then down again… Another circle, and I was hoping the hare had rejigged his trail, but sadly not. Cartoon and I paralleled for a while – hoping to avoid the steep climb… The only way to avoid it was to short cut. I bailed out and headed back to cool down in the shade… The rest of the pack enjoyed the great views from the ridge and came in sometime later. Sadly Turkish handed the circle over to KO, who is already showing withdrawl symptoms after giving up her CSH3 power.

30th April – CH3 – Sup

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By Alice

Superman and Capt Hook were on the hareline. Mmm, would we be playing family fcuk ups or family fortunes?

I hove to just after Poo, which is unremarkable apart from the fact that he was hash cash and tardy. ABB had stepped up to the plate. Literally. Poo wondered what % of fees he was in receipt of from the Merchant Banker.

Sups harebrief was spoiled by an irritating drone in the background. But that’s enough about Sloppy Rod.

And they were off. Sups collared me and promised I’d learn something from his set. That sounded well ominous.

By the second check I was up there with the pack despite walking slowly and starting 2 mins adrift. Promising, I’ll say! Most FRBs headed straight into the forest or bore to the right where I know there is a gulley and trails up. I ducked thru a barbed wire fence despite Cartoon telling me it was a no go and someone had already gone through. I went anyway as there’s been no calling and checked left thru the orchard. Expecting to hear OnOn at any moment, I retraced my steps after a tight 100m. Still R U shouts from Does Nothing, doing nothing standing around the check.

I went back and checked a bit closer to the forest and there was shredded. Onon I called as best I could in my ailing state.

Turkey caught me and asked if there was anyone ahead? A minute later in a wooded gulley, Sloppy caught me and asked the same question.

We traversed the lower extremity of the Doi and came out to a familiar spot. So far so good. I was walking and 4th after ten mins plus!

As we headed into the forest, shredded went left with no check at the obvious place. Turkish came walking back with a big, satisfied smile. I think it’s a False Trail he beamed. Think? How do you THINK it’s a Falsie? Sloppy was pounding on ahead and Turkey stood there without checking up the other way. Poo thought it may go right, but no paper, no FT or call and all Turkey achieved was lose two minutes on Slops-classic TD!

We followed the path for a few 100m and there was a broken circle left as we hit the main path. It could have gone right if the hare was sneaky and adventurous, but it didn’t.

Grease Gorilla and Cartoon past me here as we got to the split. As Sups doesn’t like the terms Rambo and Wimp, he has rebadged them. The wimp is now the normal run or NR and the Rambo which was the normal run is the Long Run or LR. Are you still with me? With all that smoke and mirrors, I turned right to climb up to the ridge thinking I was on the walker’s or the shorter run. At the top I was surprised to meet Turkey, Sloppy and the SRB Snowballs running around sorting out a tricky check. They were coming back against me and going further down the ridge towards the new road. I realized I’d taken the LR option not the NR option so decided to continue past the circle check and make my own way clockwise back down the route Gorf set a few weeks ago.

Snowballs hesitated but then set off in pursuit of the Turk and the Sloppy one, and also GG and Cartoon who were now ahead of him. Maybe he didn’t trust me or maybe he did and figured he had higher chances of getting lost the other way.

I lost contact and no one followed me. Fine. I even jogged a bit and made my way down to the edge of Doi and property. I traced my return over familiar trails close to Gorf’s route but a bit simpler, arriving back at the A just before Grease Gorilla came in first from the anti clockwise direction.

4km, still breathing, did a few 100m jogging and enjoyed the whole shebang. Decent effort Sups and Capt Hook. Good to see Greasy, Rooter and Libbers back, although Frozen Dick better increase his life insurance cover after their slanging match in the forest and in the circle.

16th April – CH3 – Alice & Emma Royde

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By Alice

The pre-monsoon storms are a-threatening so a shelter at the Crem 8.5km down Canal Rd was selected by Alice as CH3 means no Thai ladies to whinge about ghosts. Going on the premise that a decent shelter holds off the rain, but no shelter mandates it, plus ample parking and toilets, the site coyly purred pick me, pick me!
All drivers and even Tiptoe located it fine but the songthao sped past down the new road extension ignoring the HHH and the evidence of Crem, cars and another downwards HHH. LungLa obviously doing his best Burrito Butt impression and navigator Square Rooter his best HRA impression.
Just before the run, Superman was seen to be running back to his car, actually running, maybe he’s like one of those disability claimants who get secretly filmed reffing football matches or playing golf after milking the state for 10 years of financial sympathy. Just maybe he retired from the FRB group
a decade too soon?
Tiptoe definitely was in no fit state to run, having been run over by a drunk Thai and hospitalised. His legs all bandaged and still oozing blood, but what a beer monster, present and correct, on time and ready to serve the hash. Puts Purple Fart – Hey Does Nothing, it looks like it may rain, are you still going? to eternal shame. Semper fi my arse!
Miss Royde took the hare brief and learnt what inattentive cusses some can be. White paper dipped in blue royal blood, Yellow/orange walkers cut out, trail headed out that way, there was no need for gaters and off they went. But not very far. The first check kept the pack running ‘up their own clackers’ © ChuckWao as the gaters remark prompted Graven to drawl that it can’t be that way, indicating a broken scrub field with paper just 100m away. So they milled around and then some more and finally OnOn was called after an age.
Emma was sweeping the pack it seems, running just behind and observing every false move and fcuk up with interest. Trail headed towards the forest but turned right at the huge flooded quarry, dimpled with rain, as the wild wind whipped up a frenzy. A circle could have cut left alongside the quarry but went straight along its long side. A walkers’ split off continued straight as the runners turned right between copse and agriculture. Trail followed wide paths around the fenced off new property divisions then ducked right at a V into scrub and a recently cleared field. Here the plot thickens. A circle on a tree on the far side had the pack lumping around in an enclosed orchard with no exit or paper. Walkers were amongst runners here so they all got caught up. True trail started to the left on the tree lined division from the adjacent field but was missed so the FRBs eventually ŵent further and further past paper through the next field and found trail on the track heading back towards the quarry. The pack missed about 600m and two checks but no game changer.
Trail ducked right into burnt forest and remnants of full moon shreddy were strewn soon seen. The walkers had cut infront of the runners here and Turkey – wtf he took the walkers option? – got his just rewards as checking circles with Does Nothing became a nightmare as the errant Cloggy showed his lack of nous and came back to a previous circle complaining he couldn’t find paper off the subsequent one! This messed up the Turk’s best laid plans and made Alice very happy.
Around the top of a massive orchard and leg back towards Canal Rd. Some had the internal GPS working done didn’t. A well set V had sups and Purpke Fart walking thru the bar as Sups was sure he could box it and get back on trail. Was strange to do a scooter beer stop and see these two reprobates wandering together on the wrong side of a large property, deep in conversation like Fagin and Oliver, way off paper…
Walkers and FRBs appeared in short order and the kerfuffle made Sups and PF change tack and reverse in for a wee refreshment. Strangely, sweating like a racehorse, bounced in, hardly a sign of his chipped toe. Pussy Whisperer was thankful for a mouthful but the Turk was dismissive of the two finger shot offered. Cartoon huffed and puffed and ignored the proffered ale. SheepShagger begged for a lift home then took himself off as Alice packed up the beer stop accoutrements. Chucky came labouring down the track having chosen various attractive options which all turned into FTs and checkbacks.
Almost all were back by 55 mins and rehydration proceeded. Frozen Dick hiked his own trail but in true fashion messed up some idiots who bought into his ‘this is my area, I know everything here’. As the leader of the free world would tweet, ‘Mission accomplished.’ But who does one believe, the fake blond with the big tits, or Stormy Daniels?
OnOn CH3!

12th April – CH4 – ABB & Purple Pink Pipe Player

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Mae Jo 13 th April
Admonished Blue Beard
& Purple Pink Pipe Player
A fine attempt to set a trail in
this well hacked and hackneyed area.
The master of many a Bangkok run had used
The exercise to initiate the Purple Player into
All things hash. First, you lay shredded paper all
Over the trail. Then, you pick it all up again and put
It back in the bag. There is nothing like Proper
Planning is there Admonished? Poor Purple had
No idea if he was coming or going. “D'ya know
what I mean”? The Hare brief was delivered in ABB ’s unique and delightful
style. “There are Only circle checks. 360 possible directions for the trail to
continue. No V checks. No powder. No wait, the Onion is in powder”.
No one listened.
However the trail, set around, In and through the Mae Jo maze
was a joy to run. For the runners anyway.
It seemed there was one circle check at the beginning and one at the end.
That was true but there were several more on route if the Half-wits took the
Trouble to open their eyes and look. The Admonished Master seems to have
a predilection for back checks. Tasty, Brownie, Chuckie and Strangely took it in
turns to be caught out time and time again. The Brown man, marginally ahead
on correct trail. Graven however had taken off, so far off trail “ looking”, that
he decided to use the run as a scouting mission.
Meanwhile the frbees consisted of a reasonably close group including;
Chuckie, Brownie, Tasty, Anyone, Carton & Strangely. All seemed to be
enjoying the freedom of lengthy stretches of open running.

The direction didn’t seem to matter. They were happy.
Most of us had 6K on the nose. Which was probably sufficient on a very hot and humid afternoon.
The trail had been set to keep the pack together.
It mostly succeeded. Pussy Whisperer bringing up
the rear mumbled something about circles not being kicked out.
Frbees? Not kicking out circles? I wouldn’t have thought that possible.
Surely he was mistaken ?
Once in, the proceedings continued at a fair gallop. The circle was held together by the usual prowess
of ABB and Graven. Most of the pack were brain dead. Exhausted by the stifling heat.
The highlight was Lunglau, our devoted and hard working driver come dogsbody,
being put on the ice for taking us down Loikroh road, only to be half drowned in the stationary traffic
by the Songkran water squad. A turkey shoot just about sums it up.
We were delivered back into the city to yet another watery reception and scurried down the back
passages behind the Imm hotel, in an attempt to avoid the madness. Snowballs had other ideas.
As we passed a blow up swimming pool housing a couple of toddlers, Snowballs decided,
in full Hash attire, to climb in ! He proceeded to try and sit on the edge of the pool, which then
collapsed. The pool emptied in a tidal wave of disaster carrying the toddlers, who by now
were looking quite puzzled, away into the side street. Errr nice one Snowballs.
On Ono to rock me burger where the unflustered, and mostly dry, Alice was eagerly awaiting our arrival.
A good run. The Boys done good.

7th April – CSH3 – Alice & Shrek

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Alice and Shrek, but it seemed Shrek had disowned it and didn’t want to show up… I had to collect the money, so headed out early, only to get halfway to the runsite and realise I’d forgotten shoes again… – I couldn’t deal with the forthcoming shame, so turned back to get them. The weather was great – clear skies, but a stormy cool to it. We didn’t get any rain, but it was great conditions to run in.

I missed most of the harebrief, but we set off and immediately were expected to scramble along the side of the small canal near the Chinese Cemetery. I gambled and went along the road the other side – I knew I would pay for it later, but it was much easier going, so I got to the first check first and spotted something white off to the right. Sure enough it was paper and I was on. Along one side of the cemetery and there was another check – I went forward, just enough to give me a view back to the left, and there was paper. Brownie and Chuckie read my actions and followed me. A fast start to the run. Brownie and Chuckie caught me and overtook – I was content to keep a steady pace trying to avoid doing much work. For a while I managed to hang off the front getting to the checks as they were solved.

We got to the other road by the mainer canal and a false trail had a big group together crossing the road to the otherside. This was a wimp rambo circle split? Interesting… I headed left with the rambos, and shortly after there was a trail to the right with no check – I was suspicious! I dillied, I dallied, and then they seemed to be checking up front, so I ducked into the trail further, knowing that it would join trail pretty soon. Sure enough it did, just as Chuckie was on a false trail to my left. I kept going until I hit a false trail – back tracking I joined Chuckie and Brownie as we crossed the creek. A junction, but no check – ah – there it is, off to the left. I turned sharply right, as did Brownie and Chuckie – us all headed in the same direction, but certainly Chuckie was running with more intent than usual.

Another check, but this had to be right so Chuckie and I set off. He got tripped up by yet another false trail, and I led the way towards the weir crossing with Graven showing up on the scene to take the lead. The air was getting heady with masculinity! I started dropping back as we looped out to the highway, around and back straight past the stinky pig farms. Strangely Anal jogging past telling me about his broken foot as I slowed down. Hopefully we get weather like this more in coming weeks!

5th April – CH4 – Gorf

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I didn’t expect to run, as work interferes with CH4 these days, but as luck would have it, I escaped and headed down to see what the Frenchman would do for us. Sadly I didn’t have running shows, so I stopped to buy beer on my way expecting to sit and drink with the hare while the hashers hashed. Gorf kindly lent me his shoes, and I ended up setting off as the pollution was much better!

The harebrief was clear, but not conforming to Chiang Mai traditions! We would have circle checks with false trails leading off them! It made sense to me, but heading off at the start, it seemed most people objected to this break from the norm! Why? Changes are good, and these checks are used throughout the world. I tried to explain to a few as we made our way to the first circle, but it was clearly going to be a clusterfuck, and sure enough trail was immediately called in 2 directions – neither of which was correct. I should have played percentages, but after a cross was called to the left, I was lured towards TMB’s call to the right, only to find her confused by another cross.

I didn’t plan to put much effort in, so I slowly followed trail through the middle of the pack. I was back towards the front as another Gorf check fooked people over. Another circle, and again called from both directions. I was tempted to go straight, as turning right would be too short, but I was already a bit to the right, and HRA hadn’t hit a cross yet. SO CW and I headed that way for 400m++ until we got to a cross, with the people ahead of us apparently disappearing silently through the trees back towards the real trail. I was torn…. Probably 1km back on trail at this point, with a clear short cut opportunity. I didn’t plan to run, I had beer in the car, I could easily… It took me a few minutes to decide to go back to trail and carry on. By then I was behind Tip Toe.

The trail was pretty clear from here on. The checks were already kicked out, and I jogged along wondering if I would catch up. I did get back to the pack when it got to the Beerstop – hastily added at the end of the run after the beer monster forgot to bring the beer the first time! :O

Overall it was nice heading back out on trail with the air a bit cleaner. The new checks were great – they are meant to fuck you up, so if they did, they worked, stop bitching about it! 😉

Beers consumed later with Belly are the reason for such a late write up!

2nd April – CH3 – Strangely Anal & Alice

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(By Strangely Anal)

Airplane Dump CH3 Strangely Anal & Alice
Towards Doi Suket 2 nd Apri
They came. They saw. They faltered.
It was evident from the start of the hare-brief
that it was all going to go calamitously wrong.
Despite Strangely’s appeal for attention, in retrospect,
this was clearly too much to ask of a bunch of
Hashers. While endeavouring to impart essential
Information regarding one or two ObstArckles on trail,
Most of the lame brains were engaged in such frivolous
matters such as, Do we get a free T Shirt?
or, does anyone know where they might find a good soapy for
Less than 500bht ? Graven was at his disruptive best.
Strange folk indeed.
The run was a B to A. This announcement was met with
the warm welcome of a death sentence. Grown men thrown helplessly
off balance, stumbling around in circles, is indeed a sight to behold.
However, Strangely, mostly abetted by that stalwart, Alice
had a cunning plan in hand and without further ado the
larger than expected gang were bundled back into the Songtaew
and into Cartoon’s very nice and nearly new, and still shiny pick-up,
and transported (they should have been)
to the start of the run.
Having bade them a not so fond farewell the vehicles
returned to the A site, to await the disaster about to befall.
The run itself was “friendly” with two short pieces of mild shiggy,
and one short but delicate ladder bridge that was designed
To carry an irrigation pipe across a small stream.

On the far side of the stream was a petrol driven pumping machine,
about the size of a small yacht. You had to step round it, over it, or through it.
Graven Image said after the race “I didn't see no pump ”
Worrying. Very worrying.
These ObstArckles aside, the trail was mostly flat and well marked.
Spurious and slanderous allegations that paper was missing
at some of the checks were treated with the contempt they deserved.
Very noticeably missing were severe Square Router type cliff faces.
Neither were there leaf littered surfaces concealing perils beneath.
All in all, a joy to run. You would have thought!
First man in was Angry. Now Angry is a fine runner.
He will boldly tumble where no man has tumbled before.
But with a field strewn with reliable frb's, the first man in was probably
Not going to be Angry. In his defence he did rather guiltily mutter
“I may have shortcutted. A bit” He was not alone.
The trail that led over a concrete low bridge and then left
on the path to a False Trail meant that you had to
return to the main trail and pick up the correct on on.
However this is where it all got messy. Half the pack
just crossed the bridge, turned right and headed for home.
Or they ignored the marked trail across the bridge and carried
Straight on along the path that lead to the on on. Didn’t you TinkerDoo?
There’s no point coming in and pleading ignorance.
Hats off to the rest of the guys, Brownie, Sloppy, Chuckie, Graven, Cartoon
And anyone else who came in over the wide bamboo bridge and who did the full trail,
enjoyed it and came in smiling. That's what hashing should be all about.
Smiling. On On On at Mad Dog. Much beer consumed. Went home pissed.
Very,Very pissed. Perhaps That's what hashing is really all about. ?

26th March – CH3 – Alice et. al.

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Courtesy Belly Dancer

Safe to return to CNX in the knowledge Gasman has f*****d off to Pattaya and despite not sleeping for 3 nights (make that 4 now), knowing Krap Thai was teaming up with Alice, I headed out to what could have been a very tough run indeed.

As it turns out pro-Hare Alice had enlisted assistance from his own Gang of 4! Alit, Krappy, Shrek and Blows Herself!! Well with that mush skill put to work, should be great eh?! Coming from 6’C to 36’C and the air a tad polluted was a small shock to the system, but Alice was kind enough to hint on way(s) to survive his run – the only bit I could remember was pink – up shiggy to ridge.

Hare brief over – On Out we headed down the canal – Brownie and Cartoon let me have 200m of FRB glory and then into a rabid dog infested trail which Hemorrhoid entertainingly took an evasive dive to earn the Crash. The trails was well marked with greenish-white strips – lucky for Alice everything is so brown and parched – the strips were visible!

The first 1.4km was pretty good, with the checks keeping us reasonably together and the welcome sight of the pink paper loomed while the noise was coming from the nasty looking ridge to the right – some clever little back checks to keep Does Nothing occupied and then the ‘shiggy to the ridge’ – hummm I was over heating/knackered by this point despite being (amazingly) at the front. I knew that was it for me – so up the Bellyesque slope we trudged – I lingered back just in case Does Nothing again hit a check-back. Of course the down hill was abominable with everyone over taking me – leaving Tip Toe and me to figure out which of Alice’s paper to follow.

Apologies to Tip Toe for guessing wrong and adding another 1km to the (5.5km) run because I followed old paper – but never mind we survived! Thanks to Alice and his ‘gang’ for a decent run and good to be back to hashing with CH3!

GM Graven Image led a game circle and male hashing notched up Turkish Delights 200th Run & the Wings!

(Insomniac Belly Dancer)

19th March – CH3 – ABB & Cumlord

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Rating: 9.3/10 (3 votes cast)

By Alice

The Admiral and the Lord of Cum combined to good effect in Mae Jo setting an excellent runners’ run from the square lake. True, the number of hashers outnumbered the checks and true, the run directions neglected to drop a pin for the woollyback devotees.
The air wasn’t great and in many places the forest was sparse and burnt. The trails were very runnable with soft sand and dirt along much of the course thus allowing your humble scribe to find an obtrusive stone and turn his fff left ankle again.
The drive in was a tad fraught with one main sign on a key turn half hidden ans then SheepShagger came driving back against me in high dudgeon shouting th and that. If he’d seen the sign on the left to the square lake he would have been happier and I’d not have been traduced.
We got there just in time for the circle and soon we were off heading towards the road. A tricky check had everyone foxed, I checked back and left about 40m given the circle was 60m further down. As Does Nothing said if I’d checked 42m I’d have found paper! This messed the whole pack up for a few more minutes.
Sheepy and Browny seemed to be doing FRB duties and each register under 10 dB. As the pack passed me, I relaxed into a walking, jogging, walking rhythm that kept me going in the humid and oxygen light air.
The trial was basically familiar but until we were 1km from home I wasn’t sure exactly how it all linked up, just that I knew the trails from before and even remembered the placing of checks.
One annoying thing that the hares did was get to a junction and throw some paper down the wrong route. Just one clump but it did its job.
After about 4 km I recognised a split in the main trail and Sheepy found a circle down the left fork. I sensed home was straight so continued. I was running ok although the osteo arthritis in the right foot seems to kick in about this point regularly and today was no exception.
Angry Inch came barrelling in from the right about now. Wtf he was doing there I have no idea and nor I believe does he. Towards the end we ran down a hill ans turned left towards the A bucket. Graven appeared shirtless and asked if we’d seen the On In? I hadn’t, so presume trail had lurched right.
Back at the A it was sweaty Betty time and a well deserved run down and rest.
A lovely trail to run, although perhaps not enough surprises and basic checks to retard the FRBs who are retarded enough in their own right.
OnOnoOn at 2gether Bar where the skinny waitress with tiny shorts will live longer in the memory than the food, which was fine!