Category Archives: CH4 – Write Ups

13th December – CH4 – Blows Herself & (Alice)

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I sat through a lot of presentations today at work… It was a long day of highs and lows, and I was cutting it fine to make it to the run. I expected the pack would have set off before I got my shoes on, but the hare was being sabaisabai, and only KO had set off ahead of the pack. Unfortunately for KO she got the first check wrong and lost her sneaky advantage.

Somehow I got ready and out on trail with the first check right. I got the 2nd check wrong, but it was so deliciously discrete that I had a 2nd and a 3rd try at it. 1st try the obvious way, 2nd try across the weir and to the right, 3rd try I teamed up with Cumlord and we found paper. He stepped aside and let me go. Knowing the pack would struggle with the weir crossing, I pressed on, and got a check or so ahead by the sound of the calls behind. I was nailing them until a circle just off the road by a new concrete canal. Here I got it wrong, and could have kept going to get back on trail, but did the right thing and went back and followed the pack.

It is probably worth pointing out that the hares paper budget should probably be increased… They had chosen larger squares of paper, but less of them and finding our way wasn’t easy at the best of times. After going through the runsite of the 1234-555 run, there was much confusion as most of us ran out of paper and were milling around calling ARE YOU, while a smaller group had found paper and weren’t calling.

I followed Anyone and KO without too much incentive to overtake as we past the other side of the temple hill. By now we had to be turning right, while until then I figured we would turn left. Turning right here though meant a limited number of choices – the run was already headed to be much longer than their 6km harebrief. There is a great trail that heads up to the cliff overlooking the lake – a great trail, but Cumlord was already coming back. Graven seemed to be co-ordinating the troops. There is another option that cuts along the barbed wire fence up to the dam, but surely not? That would be too far… I set off down the road – there is a way through – last time I was there it was a filthy trash dump, but I couldn’t rule it out…

When KO called I was very surprised. We were going up to the reservoir afterall! This wasn’t going to be a short run, and we had a bit of a climb. I had to gradually pick people off on the narrow trail and rejoined a decent pack as we got to the great view over the lake. There was a circle check and while some hashers went looking for paper, Graven tied his laces and Poo and I hunted for Alice – surely there would be a beer stop here? There had to be a good reason he wasn’t there for the harebrief… where was he? I think Snowballs called onon, and we thirstily carried on. Another circle – a small circle inside the large circle of the helipad, and here Emmaroyde took off across the lower spillway. It took a moment to consider an alternative parallel with Graven, Snowballs and the Angry Grinch (December name). I stuck to the road – there is only one way back from here…

Sure enough we hit paper heading across the dam… It really is a shame there isn’t a decent way back down from there – I’ve searched and I’m sure others have too, but the only way is to get to the other end of the dam. I was starting to feel it, but persuaded my legs to just keep turning over – it doesn’t have to be fast, just keep going.

I was leading the way, GI caught up. I asked if he was back to full fitness, and it felt like I was asking the robot Marvin as he pointed out he would never be as fit as he used to be! Strangely Anal caught up and the pair got into conversation as they pulled a few meters ahead of me. Fortunately I wasn’t far behind them at the end of the dam, and we could all see the circle check down the stairs… And it seemed like they were reluctant to do it – it could be down the road afterall!

I went down the stairs while they waited around at the top. I called back to say if I was wrong I wasn’t going back – I had gone “ALL IN”. When I saw the paper I got a hit of adrenaline – but no chance of running on those slippery stairs at this point. Trail out to the road. A circle check…. I had no doubts – back over the bridge and down the trail the other side. Bingo, I was off. Wait? Why isn’t the trail going down to the side of the waterway? Phew the false trail wasn’t too far and I was back to the junction while Graven was still at the road – again checking his shoes.

I was back on and there wasn’t far to go. We all knew it and the pack was right behind me – I could hear them breathing down my neck. As trail went off to the right over a little bridge, I saw the circle the other side and carried on, slowing down to a walk. It was enough to buy myself another 50m or so. When I spotted the paper ahead I started running again, and once again GI caught me up. Once again he is capable of conversation! I gasped it wasn’t far, but far enough that I couldn’t hold him off. Mental fortitude, a slight downhill and I put in a burst, I was ALL IN again. A strange circle where there should probably have been an ONIN, but whatever, it was enough and at 7.7km that was a great work out! It was more than I expected, but any less would have been disappointing!

6th December – CH4 – Sheepshagger

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SheepShagger and his glamorous assistant Happy Ending set a twisty trail in the flatlands close to Baan Tiwai.

It’s an area with potential and definitely underhashed. All good so far.

The way to hell is paved with good intentions they say, and Sheepy wanted to use up old Lanna pink squares. These worked well enough scattered on the deck like Mother intended, but stapled low to the paths on low contrast green in low light surrounded by small
pink flowers… you can guess the rest.

Trail twisted and spun, went back in itself and kept the pack guessing. That was fine. Trouble is the frb’s were guessing for paper some of the way too.

Rice paddies were cut and hard enough to run through. A few ditch crossings were encountered and poor Anywan lost her trainer in a deep bog as she rooted for vegetables while on trail. Good Samaritan Leaky Faucet pulled her off.. I mean out.. and offered her his water bottle to wash the filth off her shoe.

It was hard to get a handle on where we were going and the lead was constantly changing. Hounds were frustrated by the pointless ABB ‘trick’ of stapling paper 5m down a side turn when the trail goes straight on. Circles were also on the sides of trees or set back from the path and quite a few were simply missed as the frb’s sometimes struggled to see the small light pink squares anyway.

After 6 weeks shuffling with a bad Achilles, it was great to be jogging along at last. I ran a bit with Cumlord and passed and repassed Itchybitchy and Knockout.

The sun was out, the pack were working together and best of all we lost Suckit and Pigshit 3/4 of the way through the run.

Browny and Cartoon were going great guns and Horny Lazarus.. I mean Monkey, was showing a leg to impress his young virgins no doubt.

After 5.3km I heard On In shouted at a turn ahead and happily jogged in with the leggy virgin guest of Game,Set n Snatch.

Felt happy to have got home more or less unscathed and enjoyed a sluice and the circle.

SheepShagger was caught out as RA for the day but people took turns and it was fun enough but overlong. Graven thought he was back as GM on Monday so many splashes did he give. Suckit and Piggy eventually returned from 180 degrees the wrong way, after Itchy, the one girl search party, borrowed my scooter to search for the miscreants.

All in all I enjoyed the trail and exercise and hope we run around the area again. Just avoid light pink and make the paper bigger and more visible would be perfect.

29th November – CH4 – Square Rooter

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When SR is the hare you kind of know what to expect, and your fears are generally confirmed depending on the size of his pre-harebrief grin. There was a twinkle in his eye today, and sure enough it was cute. Ag center, by the wall, so no surprise when we set off along the usual path towards the hills, and the inevitable circle check by the other end of the wall. I ducked the other side of the wall and started looking for paper towards the hills, while Poo, KO & Graven headed left. I was joined by Cumlord, Emmaroyde and a bunch of others. No powder to be seen. I discussed how once I’d set trail straight across the orchard, because nobody checks there – why didn’t I think of checking there? Finally ABB found it right where I was suggesting. Already the first check had us scattered.

I nailed the next check before running straight into an FT. Damn you! We were going along the lower trails, but then looped back around to the left. I was getting a few right, but was helped further when I found Graven hiding on trail (he was going backwards), and then Poo (he was going backwards too) and then KO (also going backwards). A larger pack back together we hit the Wimp Rambo split and headed up hill. Up Up Up! I hit another False Trail – equally predictable. We weren’t going too far up the hill – instead we cut back down to the low trails.

A glance at my GPS – Rooter had said 7km, and he normally doesn’t lie about stuff like that. I was fearful as the trail headed up again. With so many false summits, we were climbing, and climbing and climbing. A dastardly V check was about the last real arrow that Rooter could shoot as from then on the trail just continued up and up. I slowly lost the front of the pack but fought my desire to turn back. Finally the trail broke right and we had the speedy descent back past the old W/R split that was now an OnIn. That really was what hashing is about. A tricksy hare, and a long tough trail!

8th November – CH4 – Jungle Jim

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A peaceful day workwise led me down towards Lamphun. We’d been given GPS co-ords, so I had company from google as I drove down – she got me there even though there were no signs, and it turned out to be a lot quicker to get to than I expected! So I was early, and tried to take a nap in the car for a bit till the hares showed up.

I had no idea where I was, which meant there would be no home field advantage. After a late, long hare brief, we set off. My brain has been switched off all day, and it didn’t reboot as we got running – I quickly lost all sense of direction. Fortunately there was a decent pack to do most of the checks, and I just trundled around off the back of the front group. A couple of times I set off to help check, but each time I was wrong.

The hares had done a good job of twisting the trail around and CW repeatedly overtook me, each time tallying up the checks he got wrong – all of them was the end result – except for near the end when Graven gave him some inside information to let him “win”! Graven is recovering from a hernia, so only walked around slowly – nonetheless a FT check after halfway had the pack confused until Graven solved it.

Good set – particularly if you were a midget that didn’t need to worry about bending under the orchard trees, but also had long jump skills to leap over the ditches!

25th Oct – CH4 – Mr. Poo

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Poo teamed up with KO from out at Baan Pong Resort – a great area for running, and a bunch of trails that I’ve been exploring recently – what would they give us? I picked up some clues from the hare brief, and listening in on what the hare was telling the visitors. With visitors we swelled to around 40 runners – the whole Happy Hash on a Thursday seems to be working out.

We were set free, and CW and I walked back out of the resort to the first circle. I headed to the trail near the ricefields behind the hill (Poo had mentioned a hill, and a 4km wimp trail, so I kinda thought I had him pegged. Sure enough there was paper and calling ONON, I broke into a jog. At the next check, I nearly turned left as I thought I’d seen something white down to the left, but glancing along the main trail there was definitely something white along there. Sure enough I was on, and jogging along comfortably. At this pace I would stay clear. WTF? A pitter patter from behind and as a visitor caught me up, I had to speed up to get to the next check first – and he looked in great shape!

I went straight, but slower, and again got it right, buying a bit of time. The pace was quick – certainly quicker than my comfort zone. Another check, and I was fairly confident with this one, right again as I found the white paper heading around the tiny square lake. Straight into another check, where the obvious trail was straight to the left, but my gut said take the right trail, and sure enough – I was on fire! Unstoppable! Surely I must be way ahead by now? But no, right behind me the pack was on my ass. Another check, and I made a mistake :( I should know where the cut through is by now… It isn’t the first time I’ve made that mistake, and damnit!

Of course we were headed straight to the cut through, and came down to the lake with quite a pack of runners, all of which looked like they were fresh, while I really didn’t feel fresh! At the lake – surely he was going around the lake? It wouldn’t be that exciting, but… Surely? There must be a W/R split here taking the wimps back to the resort and sending the rambos around the lake. My overheated head couldn’t see any alternative to the puzzle. I headed left, and when it was called to the right, I was sure it was just dropping to the lake side and then back to the left, so I jogged around the corner to see where they would surely rejoin me. I could hear a bunch of people shouting and calling randomly from just below me down by the lake – maybe not completely standard hash calls, but we did have a lot of visitors, and they were getting closer. I paused for a bit as they would appear any minute, and after a short rest I could rejoin the pack…. Eventually a group of cattle herders appeared shouting at their cows, and I realised I was extremely fucked… The hares had outwitted me…

As soon as I realised that, my stupidity dawned on me. Poo wouldn’t just run around the lake.. With Poo you should always expect devious figure of 8 tricks. I was way way back! Still, its a nice area to run in, so I followed trail for a while, gradually overtaking people, and hearing comments questioning why I was so far back… Ugh!

Then it was a long steady jog to the dam and across the dam. Lucky it wasn’t too hot, and I just plodded on thinking that would have been a good spot for a beerstop. Sure enough around the corner there was a beerstop, but for some reason I still thought I had a chance to get back into the pack. Ha! The trail started heading up hill again – I’ve been up there before, so opted to cut down to the lower trail and followed the side of the creek, while I could hear CW heading the other direction from the otherside of the creek. I know there is a place to cross that creek, but couldn’t remember how much further it was. Finally I hacked my way over, and man it was much more overgrown than I’ve ever known it – an ugly hack that I barely made it through to find Crap Thai being kind with his laughter!

I was spent, I just wanted to get back and have a beer by this point. Really excellent set. The true trail was much better than what I ended up doing.

4th October – CH4 – Shrek

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It’s been a while since I’ve joined the hash, but out in Doi Saket and during Midterm exam week, I figured I’d give it a go…

The A site was by the canal headed towards Wangtarn resort. Trail set off over the canal and turned right along the canal bank. Rooter and Tiptoe had slipped off to a headstart, but they were still confused by the first check. It turned out the trail went straight along the canal for a km or so – I guess the hares hoped we’d forget about that by the end?

Foxy found that first check, but called so quietly that only the hare took off after her. Overtaking the hare and Foxy, I got to another check, which was further along the canal (left here only leads to a gate as far as I know). Finally we turned left up the hill, with a couple of nice checks – made even nicer as I got them right.

Then we got to a bit of a fuck up – I found a check back after 70m or so from a circle. My signals to TMB must have been confusing as she laid paper after me, rather than finding the right way. The check back wasn’t off a V check, it was just a random checkback, which turned out to be a false trail off the circle. I think there was further confusion behind me, as Tasty and I took off and nailed another check as we could see paper off to the left.

Angry Inch caught up as I came back from a false trail at a V-check, and from there it was the 3 of us leading the way. That V-check was pivotal, as it meant we weren’t going to be turning left as I first suspected. Instead we would have to cross the canal at the first opportunity and head back along the otherside of the canal, presumably coming in via the nice estate near the A-bucket. From there it was just a case of connecting the dots.

23rd August – CH4 – HRA

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Piggy and Rooter have set memorable runs here in the past couple of years and DoesNothing a killer from here to his Ag Centre Wall. You know what you’ll get here and it’s never better than you expect!
HRA set a standard test up, up and across then down with mostly 2 options at every check.
Having mislaid my phone holder I was delayed while borrowing Cumalot’s nice new pink one. Starting 8 mins behind was no biggie as I just wanted a work out without accidents and just about managed that.
Trail was well marked with the key feature being double circle checks and v’s in case the rain got one of them!
Yomping up with Rooter and sweating in places I didn’t think I had places, I tore each circle out a different way for the benefit of Pussy Galore and Purple Shart following as DFL in our wake. The paper on the deck was the giveaway but it confused the hell out of them.
Leaving Rooter shortly before the rocky stream crossing on the in trail, we called a few OnOns to each other before I jogged back down, feeling the knees and only slipping once in mud, not wet rock this time.
HRA and Chucky were looking at me as though I hated the run or had got lost, but I was nearly 10min adrift at the start and was just bushed.

16th August – CH4 – Always on Top

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Always on Top and faithful paperboy Doesn’t Think set a great little 5 km happy hash around the lakes property and thru the woods behind the Hex Shelter.

Knowing the area well, it’s always fun to see what the hares make of it and judging by the infrequent circles but frequent wrong turns some FRBs took, the run was a roaring success.

After a jaunt thru the wet woods in light drizzle, we crossed the road and trail continued to a weir.

Possibly 3cm of water to cross but Chucky doing his best impression of an OCD show jumper with hydrophobia, refused with alacrity and went around trying to find other ways to get across. As the hares had found earlier, there weren’t any!

Cartoon and TmB seemed to be FRBs whenever I caught sight of them which involved mostly Cartoon returning from checking wrongly and TMB disappearing in unfavoured directions and yelling OnOn audibly. First times for everything eh!

KO, Poo, Anywan and Strumpet were running roughly the same pace as me and one was silent, was wasn’t, one silent but made alluring groans and moan noises as I jogged behind her pert rear view and one chatted happily, wore a plastic hairnet and kept an eye out for foragables!

The hill up and over towards the end was a surprise and a challenge. Steep, wet and overgrown coming down but no stones as SheepShagger observed.

Funny as we came to the trail back to the Hex across the other flooded weir to see Poo stop, look and carry on around. Another few 100m and he’d been back on the out trail again happy as Larry!


26th July – CH4 – Sleeps on It & Dick the Boy

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By Alice

Stick to the facts. A good reporter sticks to the facts.

Fact 1: I was so looking forward to my first hash back.

Fact 2: Coming Slow had no eyes in the cab so we missed the turn and were 20 mins late.

Fact 3: The self drivers waited for us.

Fact 4: Hare brief said trail laid on decent sized squares of white paper with some Vs after circles and false trails and check backs may be unduly long.

Fact 5: Trail was laid with some white squares, ripped half and quarter squares.

Fact 6: Moderate to severe paper shortage in Mae Jo area.

Fact 7: FRBs Chucky, Poo, TMB, even Alice, KO and Anywan frequently return from checking only for others to eventually find scraps of paper 150-200-250m down the same paths.

Fact 8: First 4 km is on undulating trails, second 4km on concrete roads.

Fact 9: Many hashers use technology to find way back as frustration turns to exasperation.

Fact 10: Alice had 8.3km and sore hips and knees from the concrete roads.

Fact 11: Hare Dick the Boy Wonder had been drinking since 7am.

Fact 12: Hares who drink from 7am appear unable to respond appropriately to facial clues (bored, long even angry faces), verbal (Short circle is a good circle, Anytime before midnight etc) hints and physical demonstrations (people walking away, driving off or ChuckWao lying on the floor and going to sleep).

Fact 13: Alice has never seen a cuter baby than 5 month old Nicole, daughter of Made and DTBW.

Fact 14: Alice wonders about splashing the hare by suggesting a DNA test for paternity of the beautiful little bundle.

Fact 15: Alice gives up caring as it’s way past his bedtime as the circle continues towards the witching hour.

Fact 16: 250THB for a home cooked feast with noodles, papaya salad, pork, black chicken and fish, with corn, dark green lettuce and pineapple.

Fact 17: Cuckold via Chuck Wao repays Does Nothing and ABB.

Fact 18: Cabbage Patch thinks it’s clever to borrow money and not pay back.

Fact 19: Alice gets Cabbage to pay for his supper and promises to pay him back.

Fact 20: Alice predicts the tone of TMB’s Whatsapp message this morning.

14th June – CH4 – BMY

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By Alice

It was BMY, at Mae Jo Dam, with a box of tricks up his sleeve. Well, in Cluedo speak it was.

Byte knows the area well and usually brings some native cunning to his sets, so I was interested in how far he could toy with a pack who know many of the trails in this area on both sides of the road.

Poo gave the hare brief as Byte was still out laying. The small squares of Mother Hash paper suggested a live set and flour circles. That was it.

Rather wonderfully Purple Fart wasn’t tuned in – quelle surprise – and told me afterwards that he kept thinking ‘Where are the circles I’m missing? The joining paper is going on for km and I don’t see any paper strips….’
USMC ladies and gentlemen, need one say more.

The start had us clambering almost vertically up a
concrete spillway. Chim and It’ll Cum passing me here as I lagged back with Pussy Galore feeling the effects of a fully curry late luncheon.

Now and again shout from ahead revived our spirits as the pack dealt with the early tricky checks. After a km or so I started to jog and after another km caught up with James and Does Nothing etc.

The thing about this area is most checks offer multiple options and Byte used these skillfully to rotate the road constantly and fcuk over the FRBs. The trick with this run was to trust the hare, let paper be king and the hounds mere serfs.

He of the ice cold penis, decided to head off paper to short cut and ended up wonderfully about 2 hrs later at some farm about 5 km away. I have decided NEVER to assist hounds who do this or don’t take my number. Angry, Turkish, Snowballs etc you have been warned!

Back towards the road we turned and on familiar trails it was an endless guessing game. Most of which the FRBs and self when in pole, got wrong! I knew where the road was but wanted to play the game.

Eventually after nearly 6 km I think we came to the road and a Beer/Water stop from the Byte mobile. Unless you were a back marker and then it was just a Byte mobile and chat stop. Here I feel the hare missed a stitch. I was already knackered and didn’t take more water as it’s less than a km home I thought. However Byte took us into the forest and across the weir and then messed us around something rotten into the forest, back out onto the main trial again and again.
HRA had fronted up, Poo and KO were in the van at some stages, Alice and Blows Herself, Anywan too. But we all came to grief until we exited the forest finally and headed back on the long, wet gravel road.

I was hurting by the end and had around 9km. Poo had over 10km. It was old school hashing. And many of us are a bit old to bear it. Chucky opined in the circle that he thought it was a good run, both of them!
Well marked, well devised and devilish in the detail. ‘Never mind the quality, feel the length my boy,’ as the cardinal said.