Category Archives: CH4 – Write Ups

16th August – CH4 – Always on Top

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Always on Top and faithful paperboy Doesn’t Think set a great little 5 km happy hash around the lakes property and thru the woods behind the Hex Shelter.

Knowing the area well, it’s always fun to see what the hares make of it and judging by the infrequent circles but frequent wrong turns some FRBs took, the run was a roaring success.

After a jaunt thru the wet woods in light drizzle, we crossed the road and trail continued to a weir.

Possibly 3cm of water to cross but Chucky doing his best impression of an OCD show jumper with hydrophobia, refused with alacrity and went around trying to find other ways to get across. As the hares had found earlier, there weren’t any!

Cartoon and TmB seemed to be FRBs whenever I caught sight of them which involved mostly Cartoon returning from checking wrongly and TMB disappearing in unfavoured directions and yelling OnOn audibly. First times for everything eh!

KO, Poo, Anywan and Strumpet were running roughly the same pace as me and one was silent, was wasn’t, one silent but made alluring groans and moan noises as I jogged behind her pert rear view and one chatted happily, wore a plastic hairnet and kept an eye out for foragables!

The hill up and over towards the end was a surprise and a challenge. Steep, wet and overgrown coming down but no stones as SheepShagger observed.

Funny as we came to the trail back to the Hex across the other flooded weir to see Poo stop, look and carry on around. Another few 100m and he’d been back on the out trail again happy as Larry!


26th July – CH4 – Sleeps on It & Dick the Boy

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Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast)

By Alice

Stick to the facts. A good reporter sticks to the facts.

Fact 1: I was so looking forward to my first hash back.

Fact 2: Coming Slow had no eyes in the cab so we missed the turn and were 20 mins late.

Fact 3: The self drivers waited for us.

Fact 4: Hare brief said trail laid on decent sized squares of white paper with some Vs after circles and false trails and check backs may be unduly long.

Fact 5: Trail was laid with some white squares, ripped half and quarter squares.

Fact 6: Moderate to severe paper shortage in Mae Jo area.

Fact 7: FRBs Chucky, Poo, TMB, even Alice, KO and Anywan frequently return from checking only for others to eventually find scraps of paper 150-200-250m down the same paths.

Fact 8: First 4 km is on undulating trails, second 4km on concrete roads.

Fact 9: Many hashers use technology to find way back as frustration turns to exasperation.

Fact 10: Alice had 8.3km and sore hips and knees from the concrete roads.

Fact 11: Hare Dick the Boy Wonder had been drinking since 7am.

Fact 12: Hares who drink from 7am appear unable to respond appropriately to facial clues (bored, long even angry faces), verbal (Short circle is a good circle, Anytime before midnight etc) hints and physical demonstrations (people walking away, driving off or ChuckWao lying on the floor and going to sleep).

Fact 13: Alice has never seen a cuter baby than 5 month old Nicole, daughter of Made and DTBW.

Fact 14: Alice wonders about splashing the hare by suggesting a DNA test for paternity of the beautiful little bundle.

Fact 15: Alice gives up caring as it’s way past his bedtime as the circle continues towards the witching hour.

Fact 16: 250THB for a home cooked feast with noodles, papaya salad, pork, black chicken and fish, with corn, dark green lettuce and pineapple.

Fact 17: Cuckold via Chuck Wao repays Does Nothing and ABB.

Fact 18: Cabbage Patch thinks it’s clever to borrow money and not pay back.

Fact 19: Alice gets Cabbage to pay for his supper and promises to pay him back.

Fact 20: Alice predicts the tone of TMB’s Whatsapp message this morning.

14th June – CH4 – BMY

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Rating: 8.4/10 (5 votes cast)

By Alice

It was BMY, at Mae Jo Dam, with a box of tricks up his sleeve. Well, in Cluedo speak it was.

Byte knows the area well and usually brings some native cunning to his sets, so I was interested in how far he could toy with a pack who know many of the trails in this area on both sides of the road.

Poo gave the hare brief as Byte was still out laying. The small squares of Mother Hash paper suggested a live set and flour circles. That was it.

Rather wonderfully Purple Fart wasn’t tuned in – quelle surprise – and told me afterwards that he kept thinking ‘Where are the circles I’m missing? The joining paper is going on for km and I don’t see any paper strips….’
USMC ladies and gentlemen, need one say more.

The start had us clambering almost vertically up a
concrete spillway. Chim and It’ll Cum passing me here as I lagged back with Pussy Galore feeling the effects of a fully curry late luncheon.

Now and again shout from ahead revived our spirits as the pack dealt with the early tricky checks. After a km or so I started to jog and after another km caught up with James and Does Nothing etc.

The thing about this area is most checks offer multiple options and Byte used these skillfully to rotate the road constantly and fcuk over the FRBs. The trick with this run was to trust the hare, let paper be king and the hounds mere serfs.

He of the ice cold penis, decided to head off paper to short cut and ended up wonderfully about 2 hrs later at some farm about 5 km away. I have decided NEVER to assist hounds who do this or don’t take my number. Angry, Turkish, Snowballs etc you have been warned!

Back towards the road we turned and on familiar trails it was an endless guessing game. Most of which the FRBs and self when in pole, got wrong! I knew where the road was but wanted to play the game.

Eventually after nearly 6 km I think we came to the road and a Beer/Water stop from the Byte mobile. Unless you were a back marker and then it was just a Byte mobile and chat stop. Here I feel the hare missed a stitch. I was already knackered and didn’t take more water as it’s less than a km home I thought. However Byte took us into the forest and across the weir and then messed us around something rotten into the forest, back out onto the main trial again and again.
HRA had fronted up, Poo and KO were in the van at some stages, Alice and Blows Herself, Anywan too. But we all came to grief until we exited the forest finally and headed back on the long, wet gravel road.

I was hurting by the end and had around 9km. Poo had over 10km. It was old school hashing. And many of us are a bit old to bear it. Chucky opined in the circle that he thought it was a good run, both of them!
Well marked, well devised and devilish in the detail. ‘Never mind the quality, feel the length my boy,’ as the cardinal said.

CH4 – 7th June – Alice

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

By Alice
Alice returned from Down Under to hare in his favoured Doi Saket. The pack was fairly thin and missing the beer mistress at 5pm. Heading out sans l’eau ain’t clever in these temps so upon Antwan’s arrival at ten past Alice loaded up the scooter with small bottles and sped off in reverse to cut the pack off at the pass as the first section was forest trails, a tad hilly and not bikeable.

It’ll Cum was the first face down the trail after a 3 way possible check. Water was exchanged for pecks on the cheeks, Alice just not revealing which cheeks though. Jungle Chim, Cumlord, Poo, KO, Blows were all in the lead group followed by the fast catching up Chucky who fairly praised the hare about his getting every check wrong thus far!

Trail had come through the forest and out through a shiggy garden onto a main trail between properties. Would it go left towards the Doi or right towards the canal? Sharp left and up to a Falsie! On on was left towards the Christian village, undulating track, stone filled and rough.
Another check. Three choices. Right towards the bigger properties and the quarries across the road. Here water was delivered and half the pack grabbed a bottle. HRA declined and was going well here. Horny Monkey was running here, as fast as his poor knees could carry him, although he’d managed a few rumbles in the jungle.

The hare retraced his tracks to find Pussy Galore and Anywan and service them. With water. No sign of Does Nothing, Teeny Weeny or Humpty. Certain mysteries are just not explainable although the Dutch master of doing nothing claims he was on pink paper for all his 2.5km circuit. And blamed ABB somehow for this. Mmm.

At the tarmac, trail just headed left to a check 100m down the road. Onon was back right into a field and then along the main mud path along the south west side of the flooded quarries.

A check had Blows heading up a small but doable path to the left. Wrong! Next check was a V with another tempting narrow cut thru on offer. Wrong!

At a major junction a check offered straight, left between the quarries or perhaps right across the cleared land towards the massive property on the bing canal road. The last option was on and paper led across a creek with steep banks and treacherous quick gravel, as the hare had found when scouting.
Chucky managed to jump the creek but Teeny Weeny chucked an old tyre in the stream bed.

Overlooking the canal after another 700m some checked further away from the A perhaps for a bridge over to the other side. Trail went down and right of the massive new building although Humpty and Teeny went left and just followed the road all the way in.

HRA meanwhile had decided to accompany Cumalot on the shorter trail, thus missing the quarries and creek but grabbed water second time around.

Back across the tarmac Poo and KO were in the lead as tricky checks again did for Chucky and Chim. A cut thru red gravel path led to another well marked and straight up to a Falsie. A faint call was heard from the near expiring Poo. Chucky seized the moment and retook the lead, scampering left and then right on the run in. Only a circle, a V and a circle to go. Jungle Chim put his foot down and caught Chucky as they approached the final circle after a shiggy trail down through forest. It was 50/50 and much to the lanky West Australian’s delight, he nailed it and sped back along the canal to glory.

Blonde SoCal visitor babe Flower Power was picked up off trail by Alice on scooter and ridden home, ahem, without the benefit of the desired reach around. Teeny exposed all his wedding tackle when on ice to the horror of all and Poo teased Anywan for blaming her GPS and taking ‘the other right’ when it told her to go left.

Poo had 7km for the longer trail with checks and others had 4.5km for the abridged version. Softballs had 5.5 walking and jogging on the flat canal path to the 118 and back.

24th May – CH4 – Blows Herself

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Blows Herself was asked to be co-hare at short notice, not realising that she was actually going to be the hare – luckily Chuckie stepped in to help her out. We met in the crematorium next to the disco shelter – a smaller off season pack swelled by the likes of Superman – hopefully he will keep joining us in coming months – did the new hare raiser get him on the hareline yet?

Relive ‘Afternoon Run’

The hares released us, and we were soon following cardboard along the road – with strips every 3m or so! A very well marked run, that Taste My Buns will be able to clean up when she comes back in a couple of months! CW left us with a comment about me getting a WTF moment – I was waiting to see what he meant…

The first check was a false trail – Cartoon and I were jogging along at the front, and we both expected it as we both expected to go into the village (?). Obscene charged along for a bit, and we saw the next circle from some way off. Cartoon headed to the right, and had a lot of catching up to do as I went left and found trail. Maybe my new shoes were GPS powered? I just kept nailing checks, one after another – and there were plenty of checks. I just kept getting lucky.

I think I missed a false trail at one point, when I found the true on-trail off to the right dropping down into a gully. Another circle check there had me thinking as it seemed to be a deadend. Maybe I had bought a bit of time, and the only option appeared to be clambering up the otherside of the gully, around the back of a house, and sure enough there was paper – I was On again! The hares were neatly cute here – taking us up the hill, only to go straight back down to the right. I was tempted to go further up into the hill, but the trail back down was screaming to me. When I found paper I really didn’t want to call the pack back down the hill as they quickly short cut over to me. Then there was another FT – I turned back and Anywan was following me down the hill – she turned back and I guess a group were looking around back up there. Below me Pussy Galore, Superman and Cumalot were questioning whether their shortcut was going to work out. I spotted something white off in the distance – that is the best part of Blows’ white paper! It turned out the FT was just yards past the true trail, and I was still on top.

Was this going to be the perfect hash? I could hear KO and HRA behind me, but I had some ground on them, and kept getting the checks right, and the next false trail I could get back through the barbed wire ahead of the pack. I think that was the antepenultimate check, because the penultimate check got me finally… ARRRRGH! I knew where we were and I was split between going around the field ahead to extend the run a bit, or heading back towards home. Somehow I picked something in between and ended up surrounded by new barbed wire. I looped back and wasn’t far behind KO as she called us ON. Obscene charged after her diving under the barbed wire fence with the flexibility of a small youngster.

Cartoon was close behind, and we were nearing the end. We got to the canal, and trail led left and over the bridge. WTF? WTF? WTF? No No No! I let Cartoon pass and watched KO’s confusion as she hit a WTF check – a circle the wrong side of the river. The noise of the canal drowned her out, but she drew a circle with her arms, and that was enough for me to take off towards the A – and sure enough there was paper! Nice try to screw me at the end CW – but I outfoxed you… 😉

Short and sweet.

17th May – CH4 – HRA

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Rating: 8.3/10 (3 votes cast)

HRA jumps off the plane from his Spanish holiday and before he has the chance of a siesta, he is off laying trail! Ole!

It’s nice not having work commitments on a Thursday night anymore – nice to be able to join the happiness of the CH4! We started close to the football field at a newish shelter that HRA prefers – a few rumbles of thunder in the distance, but we didn’t need the shelter in the end, except for some shade. We were set off, but not towards the usual trail to the left, today we were heading towards the temple. A first check had me and Chuckie heading straight to the left and straight to the paper as it led up the trail towards the back of the temple. Another check and we had to separate, with CW taking my prefered choice up the right back. I was on the left bank, but the trail just seemed so overgrown that I could barely figure out where it was headed. After CW didn’t call, I pushed harder and eventually picked it up with Cartoon not far behind.

Another check and I turned sharply right up the hill. Of course I was correct and had a bit of a lead that took be to a false trail – typical, I should have seen it coming! Tasty slipped past as we headed along the ridge. Another check and most of us just follow Tasty – nobody wanted to head down the hill yet. So with a reasonable pack together at the front, we had HRA’s moment of genius. Straight past one junction had us expecting a false trail, but instead we got a circle at the next junction. I checked in several directions wrongly. ABB and Does Nothing caught up, it taking some time before Knockout called heading down into a gully along a “trail” that has long since been forgotten! It was overgrown, but it was a trail at one point – a long time since we’ve used it, and at the bottom was HRA with a nice smug grin handing out cups of beer.

We crossed straight over the road onto the football field side, and I caught up as people were trying to solve a false trail. A few were confused having solved it wrongly having found some old paper. I spotted something up another bank and sure enough I was back on, heading steeply uphill. I got another check or so right, always heading back up, up, up! I was starting to get hot, wanting to slow down a bit, but CW encouraged me up to the top, before passing me and getting first pick at the next circle. We were both wrong, and TMB sped through, charging back down the hill leaving us to chase her.

Good checks throughout the run, and the pack was running well together. At the bottom I detoured around the hill, rather than heading back into the forest, meeting Burritto Butt who was wandering around way off paper, but we managed to intercept the pack at the last circle. The ladies all aced it, and the first three back were all ladies – TMB, KO and Anywan – the guys were enjoying the view, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that happens again! Another great, well thought out run – good job HRA!

10th May – CH4 – Knock Out

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Some of us turn to the CH4 to get away from power hungry dictators who can’t let go – it’s a happy group that focuses on fun above all. For some reason KO seems to have decided to take over? Last week she ousted the hare Turkish so she could run the circle, and today she forced her way onto the hareline so she could control the circle again! Hopefully next week we will have a new leader!

The GM’s henchman Poo was also a scouting partner / co-hare, but he gave nothing away – not even at the first false trail when he was gazing into a field waiting for one of us to find the paper that must be there. I was the lucky one and lead the way towards the hill, the first hill that is. The next 5-6 checks or so were thick and fast, but also fairly predictable – I got most right, while Chuckie was close behind following, discussing the hypocritical “secret” meeting held by the new GM of another hash and the reasons why hashers might choose to no longer join that group! Perhaps the CH4 should run more than once a week?

Having got several checks right, we got to a 50/50 split, but left was the 90% choice – getting there first I went left, and CW had to go right. I nailed another 5-6 checks, so it took a while for CW to catch me again. I wasn’t sure if I should have been out on the run as the pollution levels had crept up again, but hey I thought I would give it a go. We headed down a steep decline, and I was grabbing trees – with half the trees coming with me as I scrambled down. CW talked about how people listen to him, and how he gets all the checks wrong, and how he could overtake, which he did…

I followed as he led the way back to flatter land, and another circle. He picked left, I had to go straight… I went 100+ and called checking, turning back only to find CW running towards me! He was so convinced in his destiny to get checks wrong that he hadn’t checked fully, and by now Tasty, Cartoon and Poo were back in the fold. And then the trail turned back up the steep cliff climb we’d just come down – surely we could have just stayed up there? The heat hit, the pollution hit, the adrenaline of having been up front faded away, and I was left a coughing, vomiting mess on the trail. I staggered down the hill again. AnyWan passed by offering support, but falling short of giving me CPR…

Blows Herself went past as I Poostyle coughed up the polluted air. I finally got moving and walked in with ABB. Ultimately a great trail set by the hare(s) – really good use of the terrain – I got lucky with the early checks, but there were some good twists later on. A good circle, and then a cold burger! ONON!

3rd May – CH4 – Turkish Delight

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Rating: 8.7/10 (3 votes cast)

Turkish Delight setting a run for the Happy Hash? Awesome! I couldn’t wait for a Turkish Delight circle – he’d be a great candidate for GM! 😀

So, with the skies blue, I headed down the canal road to the Ob Kham turnoff, and followed signs in to the “new” road, and back almost as far as the football field – Turkey, turkey turkey! that was a long way to get us to the runsite! Anyway, there was a reasonable turnout, with some virgins and visitors. I finished up some work on the phone and was ready for the off.

Despite the new road, the trails were familiar and he set us off towards an old runsite. We picked up paper to the right, and I was fast walking ahead until TMB & EmmaRoyde caught up behind and then walked with me – I didn’t see an ONIN, were they afraid to overtake? Then we didn’t see any paper until someone spotted a FT on the back of a tree. Hmmmz… Turkish, the king of innovation had decided to put a false trail from the first bit of paper!!! None of the trail had been true yet, we had to go all the way back, and eventually one of the walkers called it from a long, long way off – I think the walker had probably given up and gone for their own walk only to find themself FRB.

Another circle, and a third check at the old circle site. It seemed we were sticking to the main ‘road’ trails, as we turned left following Greasy. I put in some effort for a while, overtaking a few people, before I realised that it was fooking hot, and I am fooking unfit. I slowed to a walk as Sleeps On It ran past me. At the next check, I did some checking, figuring Turkey hadn’t put much effort in and would just bring us back around the roads. I was wrong – it turns out Turkey had put a LOT of effort in and set a really great run! So good, I could only manage part of it…

We turned right through the forest and did a nice loop along small forest trails. I was mostly walking, and with ABB spotted an opportunity to short cut when the trail turned sharply back on itself. I was starting to stagger from the heat, and had to take my top off to try and cool down a bit, but the trail was turning ominously to the right, and towards the hill. I know there is a great ridge trail over there, and that is really the only way to get back to the A without the hare resetting trail, but it is a climb to get to it… I am hot and unfit…

I went up the first hill… And then down again… Another circle, and I was hoping the hare had rejigged his trail, but sadly not. Cartoon and I paralleled for a while – hoping to avoid the steep climb… The only way to avoid it was to short cut. I bailed out and headed back to cool down in the shade… The rest of the pack enjoyed the great views from the ridge and came in sometime later. Sadly Turkish handed the circle over to KO, who is already showing withdrawl symptoms after giving up her CSH3 power.

5th April – CH4 – Gorf

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Rating: 6.0/10 (3 votes cast)

I didn’t expect to run, as work interferes with CH4 these days, but as luck would have it, I escaped and headed down to see what the Frenchman would do for us. Sadly I didn’t have running shows, so I stopped to buy beer on my way expecting to sit and drink with the hare while the hashers hashed. Gorf kindly lent me his shoes, and I ended up setting off as the pollution was much better!

The harebrief was clear, but not conforming to Chiang Mai traditions! We would have circle checks with false trails leading off them! It made sense to me, but heading off at the start, it seemed most people objected to this break from the norm! Why? Changes are good, and these checks are used throughout the world. I tried to explain to a few as we made our way to the first circle, but it was clearly going to be a clusterfuck, and sure enough trail was immediately called in 2 directions – neither of which was correct. I should have played percentages, but after a cross was called to the left, I was lured towards TMB’s call to the right, only to find her confused by another cross.

I didn’t plan to put much effort in, so I slowly followed trail through the middle of the pack. I was back towards the front as another Gorf check fooked people over. Another circle, and again called from both directions. I was tempted to go straight, as turning right would be too short, but I was already a bit to the right, and HRA hadn’t hit a cross yet. SO CW and I headed that way for 400m++ until we got to a cross, with the people ahead of us apparently disappearing silently through the trees back towards the real trail. I was torn…. Probably 1km back on trail at this point, with a clear short cut opportunity. I didn’t plan to run, I had beer in the car, I could easily… It took me a few minutes to decide to go back to trail and carry on. By then I was behind Tip Toe.

The trail was pretty clear from here on. The checks were already kicked out, and I jogged along wondering if I would catch up. I did get back to the pack when it got to the Beerstop – hastily added at the end of the run after the beer monster forgot to bring the beer the first time! :O

Overall it was nice heading back out on trail with the air a bit cleaner. The new checks were great – they are meant to fuck you up, so if they did, they worked, stop bitching about it! 😉

Beers consumed later with Belly are the reason for such a late write up!

15th March – CH4 – Taste My Buns

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Rating: 6.5/10 (4 votes cast)

By Alice:

There’s dark forces at work I say. First the email announcing the Happy hash hared by TMB and Foxy Cleo. Then the website announces TMB will be assisted by Brownfinger. Have evil spirits invaded the supercomputer at CM Hash HQ? I wonder. Quite possibly I muse as 45 minutes before the run I’m enjoying a latte at Dutch Farm. And not enjoying spitting it out as I recall Cartoon’s dreadful joke about Poo, KO and the prize bull!

Suddenly a phone rings. Some bastard ruins my latter reverie. FMDD it’s my phone!
Hello, is that Alice? intones an edumacated Anglo-Scottish accent.
There doesn’t seem to be a sign on the turn from the 118 towards Country Cabin….
Hello HRA, that’s probably because we’re in SanKampeng today and Doi Saket is Saturday and I don’t set HHH signs 2 days in advance!
Much harrumphing and wonderment. Lucky you forgot about the 5pm run start too H! At least you had good time to scoot over to SKP!

Having been poorly I turned up for new territory and a nice walk. I got both, apart from the first km which was Tarmac down the hill away from the A and then stony forest trail back up the hill 30m above the road.

Trail was well marked in small playing card sized white paper. There were loops and switchbacks often tight, which meant a cunning perambulator had a chance to catch up, keep up and even take the lead after about 4 checks. We’d got to a V on the side of a forested hill. Hashers were going in all directions for some reason. I stood with Happy Ending at the V and we could see a circle 150m up to our right. Why Does Nothing and his crew chose left, why Angry ran away from the circle, only a full frontal lobe analysis would reveal.

I yomped up past the circle on the only obvious trail to find….paper 100m further on. Browny caught up here and I think Chucky. At the next check, a vision appeared like Bealzebub risen from the darkness of Hell. A vision that hadn’t been present at the hare brief and was now front and centre, but looking sheepish and keeping quiet. Red cap, small horns, hairy legs but no trident: the Turk! HTF had that happened?

Onwards to a concealed beer stop on the canal side as we exited the forest after a descent. I saw a group ahead so checked right and back in the woods. Little did I know they were standing about drinking.

Over the canal in last place and over the opposite ank and down into the Shiggy. If the FRBs looped around in a big anti clockwise circle I could possibly rejoin the pack. Way across a vast rice field I see coloured shirts. Result! Crossing the deep shiggy with hidden stream then 200m of humid, insect infested rice paddy was my reward.

I was walking fairly well and ahead of half the pack. At the famed Spider Check I followed PiPi and his girl who walked through a bar to short cut to potential trail just as Cartoon had doe minutes previously. We got our feet wet there in boggy ground and crossed a bridge that had seen better days. The main beams were strong but much of the wood was rotten or absent. Where’s Doggie and Byte when you need them?

Somewhere here I lost my sunnies and suddenly we were into forest following pink from a FT check up right. A cute loop on a walkway over a small loop was avoided as I saw the fleet footedShagless circle around to the same side. Up a ramp and voila, the A site again. Just over 4 for me, perfect for a sick puppy.

Like the Scarlet Pimpernel, Turkish was nowhere to be seen, having been ordered off the premises by TMB for fcuking up her third run in a row. Apparently he’d turned up late and ignored hare’s orders to follow paper right and loop round to catch the pack, only 5 minutes ahead. As if. Turkish had obviously gone left, scaled the 20m rock face and made his own way to intersect trail from below just infront of the FRBs. But orders are orders and he disobeyed his.