Category Archives: CH3 – Write Ups

11th June – CH3 – Frozen Dick

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By Alice

Frozen Dick knows his area rather well, which usually means good runs when he sets and major fcuk ups when he’s a hound and decides to shortcut until ravines, barbed wire and other unexpected surprises detain him until nightfall. With Cumlord as paperboy, this was the chance for Frozen to educate the lad on the terrain and possibilities thereof, and boy did he do a decent job.

We started off from Frozen’s country dacha and went right to the main trail. One if the last things the hares said was that they’d cleared any old paper they’d found, so didn’t expect us to see any.

I decided to push myself a bit today and jogged off decisively left at check1. The pack mooched right or mostly hung around. Just as I got to 100m with no sign of paper, I heard OnOn called from the opposite direction. Blast! Just as I was about to turn, I saw paper 40m ahead. My eyes lit up. Maybe they done a clever loop around right, up over the property and back down to this trail. If so, I was quids in and a few hundred metres ahead. Aaaaaargh! Old paper! Drat and double drat! I was now a few hundred behind. Taking my chances, I ducked up a connecting trail with a 50% chance of reconnecting if trail turned left off the valley. Hearing shouts coming closer I was in luck. Shrek lead the pack and Chucky was close behind. “How the bloody hell did you get here?” Inquired the lanky Sandgroper. It wouldn’t be the last time he was nonplussed on this run.

Another check and given the twists so far, I chose the path less travelled up towards the farm next door. Wrong. Back and along the main higher level path with so many options. Turkey, Emma and others passed me and the next check was right, up the second valley as I call it. Here Frozen pulled a surprise left up into the forest, a totally new path for me and we dragged ourselves up through the bush to a tricky check that took us at least 5 minutes. There were two other pearlers to come!

Emma went left, Chucky straight, I hit the forest off trail when these two found nothing. Turkey and Shrek scoured the bush either side of me while Does Nothing called anxiously ‘Are you?!’ The tone suggesting he meant, ‘Have you found trail and run off silently Turkish?’

Eventually trail was located on a small path left front towards the edge of the forest and followed familiarish route along the fence line, we inside and Chucky outside. Here another check confused Chucky as the paper to the circle went left but paper from the circle went right back into the wet,greenery. Even more confusing, the path snaked through the forest to a check on the top of a rise which was called a False Trail by Turkish. Everyone turned and started searching. Eventually paper was found beyond this False Trail and we were off again.

Turkish was going well and thankfully well visible in his blue top. A check was faintly called right and paper dropped along a narrow path to the right of a gulley. The FRBs weren’t sure and TD was back in SRB mode. I recalled a left hand tiny track here that FD and Chucky had used on a set a year ago
and pushed through until I found it and paper. Turkish was ahead and checking silent until he was aware of me and started pathetically quiet ‘Checking!’ calls. So drole, so predictable.

The hares lead us a merry dance through the woods until a killer check that had ABB yelling OnOn and retracing his steps back into the forest on our out paper! Despite Does Nothing yelling for him to come back, ABB was convinced he’d found trail and took off. Presumably half a km of paper on the wrong side of trees finally awoke him to the terrible truth.

Trail went left back up the valley and AWAY from home. Frozen had stumped me here but found a totally unknown to me cut through path through the hills to the next main valley. It had to be right here but the first checker found nothing. More confusion. It can’t be left I cried exasperated, not left or front through the bush either. I wondered if Frozen had found the little path that snakes behind the first range of hills to the left of the main valley trail, heading all the way back towards the first main trail we’d hit at the start. As the pack circled and spread, confused and chuntering, I bashed bush for a bit until I saw the telltale FD CML paper strips as the homeward trail took shape. I yelled and put my foot down. I was really pushing myself for the first time in ages and Chucky’s calls behind spurred me. It was leafy and rocky and narrow, I hurt my toe and nearly tripped half a dozen times but I aced the check by the fence knowing the next runners would flail about in the property and find impassable wire and gate.

I hit the main path for home and saw On In. Yes! Victor cum laude! Frantic calls behind suggested I was heard but not seen and I nearly blacked out with effort. There were torn paper strips on the deck and my eye suddenly caught hanging paper some way ahead. Bad hares. This was sadly out trail paper and I ran past the turn and had to come back. Turkish saw me and even accused me of short cutting. Oh the irony!

Near circle’s end Frozen finally fished a very disconsolate lost Snowballs back on his bike. He’d gone missing at check 1 and kept missing. Strangely this has been his MO for 3 out of 4 times I’ve seen him this past year. Maybe the wacky baccy is winning the battle. Frozen gave Rooter the wings for best comment, when Alice said he’d found a Lyons St in Port Melbourne honouring former resident Superman. ‘Was it a dead end?’ quipped Rooter to steal the show.

Top trail, well marked, just need rather more joining paper at checks if trail goes bush. What did Cumlord learn? We’ll see when he takes on his first set. Looking forward!

21st May – CH3 – Square Rooter

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We all know Square Rooter has two sides – sometimes he sets the most evil runs imaginable scrambling hands and knees up steep muddy banks, and sometimes he sets great runs…. We all know that his unmentionable partner in crime helps him out and has some influence over him… I can remember scouting with them before, and so I suspect it depends largely on whether she walks on his right or left side as to whether he hears her positive inputs! Thankfully today we had “Good” Rooter and a great trail.

Today was the founders run, so Rooter treated us to an undulating set past the canal road football field. We grouped at the shelter just below the concrete water circle and the smile on SR’s face was ominously wide! The hare brief had Chuckie taking a nap in the shelter, and finally we were set off to find trail at the first barbed wire crawl. I squeezed through first, and given how long it took each person to get through, I figured I may as well run a bit and see what happens. A circle and a tempting trail to the right. I went down, all the time thinking it was just a bit too tempting, and thinking about the last time Rooter set here… I wasn’t confident and after 140m or so, I turned back. Sadly I had been in a gully, and couldn’t hear anything from behind me, and it seems the check was long cleared when I got back – and despite SR’s in depth harebrief about how to kick out circles, it wasn’t at all clear where everyone had gone! Luckily I caught them up after another check or so.

We were going backwards on a set SR had done a couple of years back and I passed the point that I lost a lot of time searching for trail. So as CW and I eased our way back towards the front, I suggested it would be right at the next check – CW does listen to me and sure enough we were back in amongst it. Another check by the big gate, and I commented that nobody wanted to check back to the right, and CW and I followed Bendover and Shrek around the estate to the left and we were on. Another check and I was again on form heading up the hill along the edge of the property. With CW wrong at the last check, I was leading Cartoon and Poo behind as we got to a V-check.

This V check had paper all over the barbed wire to the left – that was a lot of effort to do if the trail didn’t go left, but if it did go left, that meant climbing over a hill. I suspected it was left, but to the right is a great trail that runs around the side of the hill. I went right. I went far enough to find the check back (150m), and then went back far enough to make sure everyone knew it was a checkback… and then turned around and enjoyed the great trail running around the hill. I looped around and expected 100% to find a check where several trails come together, but there was nothing. Damnit – I must have gone 500+m off trail and did the hare manage to outwit me? I knew I had to keep going left, and fortunately there is the hidden trail that most wouldn’t spot, so I headed down towards it and within 10m I had found some beautiful Rooter paper, heard hashers coming towards me, and when I turned around found a nice little circle check hidden behind a tree – nice work SR, you nearly outsmarted me! 😛

I checked correctly, but clearly I didn’t quite go far enough, which unfortunately added to some confusion for a while, and it was Turkish who led me along the correct trail. An interested V-check, but Turkish had paused moments before to let me pass, and so I got true trail leaving him exploring amongst the trees. We were descending from the hill again, and I passed the nice trail down looking at some bright pink about 50m ahead. I was so tempted to just turn left, but continued to the circle. As I got to the circle, CW got to the previous junction, so I gifted him the true trail.

From here CW hit some magic and took off. There was check after check after check after check. CW nailed a bunch in a row, and behind we were confused between the calls of checking and ONON. It was hot, and now the pace had picked up I was starting to overheat. CW was way ahead steaming away… I made another tactical decision, and headed back – the hill climb was already tough enough, and if I can take any pride from it, my shortcut was better than Turkish’s short cut as he joined me with the hare just above the cars. Good set Rooter – cheers!

14th May – CH3 – Grease Gorilla

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Today was “Royal Ploughing Day” – I have no idea what that means except that I don’t have to go to work! 😀

Greasy is back in town, and normally sets some good runs, so I was definitely headed to the hash. A reasonably turnout and the hare set us off a little early following leaf coloured paper into the forest. The first loop was just to add a bit of distance before we got to the usual runsite at the temple not far behind Sups house (strange he wasn’t there). From there the hare took us up the road at the back of the night safari – once upon a time this was a great running trail – today it is tarmac. I walked up the hill with Chuckie.

The next circle, I was sure we would get off the road so I headed left. CW also thought we would get off the road, so found another way to go… I’d gone probably 200m, looping back to the left before it was called from the road. Damnit – you could see the paper just 30m further up the road! I jogged back and carried on up the road after the pack.

Another couple of checks and I was back in the mix as Chuckie got a 90% check right, while Cartoon picked wrong. Another check and I was right, but overheated… I need to find a way to cool down on the run. Cartoon took over the lead as we headed up a great trail into the hills. I was running with Jungle Chim, as we slipped past CW and co at a check, jogging gently back down the hill. Cartoon was way ahead, until he got a V check wrong, and we caught him as he came back from the false trail and cut in front of us on true trail. Jungle obliterated the check so we could get ahead of the rest of the pack!

The checks were good enough so the pack came back together, and I again got a circle completely wrong – now Jungle was running for his life with the pack chasing towards the onin. It was a short run, 3.5km but fun and definitely enough given the heat. A good circle that managed to finish in daylight!

7th May – CH3 – Bendover

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A last minute change of runsite had some confused. As I meandered down the river bank I missed a sign and kept going until I bumped into the hare stood looking confused in a kids park. He told me to backtrack, and it turns out I was just the wrong side of the river.

A decent turn out for this time of year. The harebrief informed us of obstakles ahead, and I could immediately think of one that was nearby. We were set off to cross the iron bridge over the river, which suggested we would have to come back across the road bridge a bit to the north – or swim.

My legs were screaming at me, and I settled into a steady pace a bit off the front. Cartoon leading for a while, and then Angry Inch. Chuckie finally got into the mix after arriving late. There was a little bit on trail, but it was mostly road running. Sure enough we were back on the main road at a bridge and back across the river.

Plenty more road to come, and I gradually slipped further off the pace. It was hot and humid. I reached the beer stop with Jungle Chim and ABB. We were some way off the front, but kept going, and opted for the rambo option. Still mostly on roads, but a bit in an orchard. Finally we hit the largish canal, and I knew what the obstakle was going to be. New markings with an “RO”, but at this point, I opted for a third choice and headed in for a beer.

30th April – CH3 – Sup

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By Alice

Superman and Capt Hook were on the hareline. Mmm, would we be playing family fcuk ups or family fortunes?

I hove to just after Poo, which is unremarkable apart from the fact that he was hash cash and tardy. ABB had stepped up to the plate. Literally. Poo wondered what % of fees he was in receipt of from the Merchant Banker.

Sups harebrief was spoiled by an irritating drone in the background. But that’s enough about Sloppy Rod.

And they were off. Sups collared me and promised I’d learn something from his set. That sounded well ominous.

By the second check I was up there with the pack despite walking slowly and starting 2 mins adrift. Promising, I’ll say! Most FRBs headed straight into the forest or bore to the right where I know there is a gulley and trails up. I ducked thru a barbed wire fence despite Cartoon telling me it was a no go and someone had already gone through. I went anyway as there’s been no calling and checked left thru the orchard. Expecting to hear OnOn at any moment, I retraced my steps after a tight 100m. Still R U shouts from Does Nothing, doing nothing standing around the check.

I went back and checked a bit closer to the forest and there was shredded. Onon I called as best I could in my ailing state.

Turkey caught me and asked if there was anyone ahead? A minute later in a wooded gulley, Sloppy caught me and asked the same question.

We traversed the lower extremity of the Doi and came out to a familiar spot. So far so good. I was walking and 4th after ten mins plus!

As we headed into the forest, shredded went left with no check at the obvious place. Turkish came walking back with a big, satisfied smile. I think it’s a False Trail he beamed. Think? How do you THINK it’s a Falsie? Sloppy was pounding on ahead and Turkey stood there without checking up the other way. Poo thought it may go right, but no paper, no FT or call and all Turkey achieved was lose two minutes on Slops-classic TD!

We followed the path for a few 100m and there was a broken circle left as we hit the main path. It could have gone right if the hare was sneaky and adventurous, but it didn’t.

Grease Gorilla and Cartoon past me here as we got to the split. As Sups doesn’t like the terms Rambo and Wimp, he has rebadged them. The wimp is now the normal run or NR and the Rambo which was the normal run is the Long Run or LR. Are you still with me? With all that smoke and mirrors, I turned right to climb up to the ridge thinking I was on the walker’s or the shorter run. At the top I was surprised to meet Turkey, Sloppy and the SRB Snowballs running around sorting out a tricky check. They were coming back against me and going further down the ridge towards the new road. I realized I’d taken the LR option not the NR option so decided to continue past the circle check and make my own way clockwise back down the route Gorf set a few weeks ago.

Snowballs hesitated but then set off in pursuit of the Turk and the Sloppy one, and also GG and Cartoon who were now ahead of him. Maybe he didn’t trust me or maybe he did and figured he had higher chances of getting lost the other way.

I lost contact and no one followed me. Fine. I even jogged a bit and made my way down to the edge of Doi and property. I traced my return over familiar trails close to Gorf’s route but a bit simpler, arriving back at the A just before Grease Gorilla came in first from the anti clockwise direction.

4km, still breathing, did a few 100m jogging and enjoyed the whole shebang. Decent effort Sups and Capt Hook. Good to see Greasy, Rooter and Libbers back, although Frozen Dick better increase his life insurance cover after their slanging match in the forest and in the circle.

16th April – CH3 – Alice & Emma Royde

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By Alice

The pre-monsoon storms are a-threatening so a shelter at the Crem 8.5km down Canal Rd was selected by Alice as CH3 means no Thai ladies to whinge about ghosts. Going on the premise that a decent shelter holds off the rain, but no shelter mandates it, plus ample parking and toilets, the site coyly purred pick me, pick me!
All drivers and even Tiptoe located it fine but the songthao sped past down the new road extension ignoring the HHH and the evidence of Crem, cars and another downwards HHH. LungLa obviously doing his best Burrito Butt impression and navigator Square Rooter his best HRA impression.
Just before the run, Superman was seen to be running back to his car, actually running, maybe he’s like one of those disability claimants who get secretly filmed reffing football matches or playing golf after milking the state for 10 years of financial sympathy. Just maybe he retired from the FRB group
a decade too soon?
Tiptoe definitely was in no fit state to run, having been run over by a drunk Thai and hospitalised. His legs all bandaged and still oozing blood, but what a beer monster, present and correct, on time and ready to serve the hash. Puts Purple Fart – Hey Does Nothing, it looks like it may rain, are you still going? to eternal shame. Semper fi my arse!
Miss Royde took the hare brief and learnt what inattentive cusses some can be. White paper dipped in blue royal blood, Yellow/orange walkers cut out, trail headed out that way, there was no need for gaters and off they went. But not very far. The first check kept the pack running ‘up their own clackers’ © ChuckWao as the gaters remark prompted Graven to drawl that it can’t be that way, indicating a broken scrub field with paper just 100m away. So they milled around and then some more and finally OnOn was called after an age.
Emma was sweeping the pack it seems, running just behind and observing every false move and fcuk up with interest. Trail headed towards the forest but turned right at the huge flooded quarry, dimpled with rain, as the wild wind whipped up a frenzy. A circle could have cut left alongside the quarry but went straight along its long side. A walkers’ split off continued straight as the runners turned right between copse and agriculture. Trail followed wide paths around the fenced off new property divisions then ducked right at a V into scrub and a recently cleared field. Here the plot thickens. A circle on a tree on the far side had the pack lumping around in an enclosed orchard with no exit or paper. Walkers were amongst runners here so they all got caught up. True trail started to the left on the tree lined division from the adjacent field but was missed so the FRBs eventually ŵent further and further past paper through the next field and found trail on the track heading back towards the quarry. The pack missed about 600m and two checks but no game changer.
Trail ducked right into burnt forest and remnants of full moon shreddy were strewn soon seen. The walkers had cut infront of the runners here and Turkey – wtf he took the walkers option? – got his just rewards as checking circles with Does Nothing became a nightmare as the errant Cloggy showed his lack of nous and came back to a previous circle complaining he couldn’t find paper off the subsequent one! This messed up the Turk’s best laid plans and made Alice very happy.
Around the top of a massive orchard and leg back towards Canal Rd. Some had the internal GPS working done didn’t. A well set V had sups and Purpke Fart walking thru the bar as Sups was sure he could box it and get back on trail. Was strange to do a scooter beer stop and see these two reprobates wandering together on the wrong side of a large property, deep in conversation like Fagin and Oliver, way off paper…
Walkers and FRBs appeared in short order and the kerfuffle made Sups and PF change tack and reverse in for a wee refreshment. Strangely, sweating like a racehorse, bounced in, hardly a sign of his chipped toe. Pussy Whisperer was thankful for a mouthful but the Turk was dismissive of the two finger shot offered. Cartoon huffed and puffed and ignored the proffered ale. SheepShagger begged for a lift home then took himself off as Alice packed up the beer stop accoutrements. Chucky came labouring down the track having chosen various attractive options which all turned into FTs and checkbacks.
Almost all were back by 55 mins and rehydration proceeded. Frozen Dick hiked his own trail but in true fashion messed up some idiots who bought into his ‘this is my area, I know everything here’. As the leader of the free world would tweet, ‘Mission accomplished.’ But who does one believe, the fake blond with the big tits, or Stormy Daniels?
OnOn CH3!

2nd April – CH3 – Strangely Anal & Alice

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(By Strangely Anal)

Airplane Dump CH3 Strangely Anal & Alice
Towards Doi Suket 2 nd Apri
They came. They saw. They faltered.
It was evident from the start of the hare-brief
that it was all going to go calamitously wrong.
Despite Strangely’s appeal for attention, in retrospect,
this was clearly too much to ask of a bunch of
Hashers. While endeavouring to impart essential
Information regarding one or two ObstArckles on trail,
Most of the lame brains were engaged in such frivolous
matters such as, Do we get a free T Shirt?
or, does anyone know where they might find a good soapy for
Less than 500bht ? Graven was at his disruptive best.
Strange folk indeed.
The run was a B to A. This announcement was met with
the warm welcome of a death sentence. Grown men thrown helplessly
off balance, stumbling around in circles, is indeed a sight to behold.
However, Strangely, mostly abetted by that stalwart, Alice
had a cunning plan in hand and without further ado the
larger than expected gang were bundled back into the Songtaew
and into Cartoon’s very nice and nearly new, and still shiny pick-up,
and transported (they should have been)
to the start of the run.
Having bade them a not so fond farewell the vehicles
returned to the A site, to await the disaster about to befall.
The run itself was “friendly” with two short pieces of mild shiggy,
and one short but delicate ladder bridge that was designed
To carry an irrigation pipe across a small stream.

On the far side of the stream was a petrol driven pumping machine,
about the size of a small yacht. You had to step round it, over it, or through it.
Graven Image said after the race “I didn't see no pump ”
Worrying. Very worrying.
These ObstArckles aside, the trail was mostly flat and well marked.
Spurious and slanderous allegations that paper was missing
at some of the checks were treated with the contempt they deserved.
Very noticeably missing were severe Square Router type cliff faces.
Neither were there leaf littered surfaces concealing perils beneath.
All in all, a joy to run. You would have thought!
First man in was Angry. Now Angry is a fine runner.
He will boldly tumble where no man has tumbled before.
But with a field strewn with reliable frb's, the first man in was probably
Not going to be Angry. In his defence he did rather guiltily mutter
“I may have shortcutted. A bit” He was not alone.
The trail that led over a concrete low bridge and then left
on the path to a False Trail meant that you had to
return to the main trail and pick up the correct on on.
However this is where it all got messy. Half the pack
just crossed the bridge, turned right and headed for home.
Or they ignored the marked trail across the bridge and carried
Straight on along the path that lead to the on on. Didn’t you TinkerDoo?
There’s no point coming in and pleading ignorance.
Hats off to the rest of the guys, Brownie, Sloppy, Chuckie, Graven, Cartoon
And anyone else who came in over the wide bamboo bridge and who did the full trail,
enjoyed it and came in smiling. That's what hashing should be all about.
Smiling. On On On at Mad Dog. Much beer consumed. Went home pissed.
Very,Very pissed. Perhaps That's what hashing is really all about. ?

26th March – CH3 – Alice et. al.

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Courtesy Belly Dancer

Safe to return to CNX in the knowledge Gasman has f*****d off to Pattaya and despite not sleeping for 3 nights (make that 4 now), knowing Krap Thai was teaming up with Alice, I headed out to what could have been a very tough run indeed.

As it turns out pro-Hare Alice had enlisted assistance from his own Gang of 4! Alit, Krappy, Shrek and Blows Herself!! Well with that mush skill put to work, should be great eh?! Coming from 6’C to 36’C and the air a tad polluted was a small shock to the system, but Alice was kind enough to hint on way(s) to survive his run – the only bit I could remember was pink – up shiggy to ridge.

Hare brief over – On Out we headed down the canal – Brownie and Cartoon let me have 200m of FRB glory and then into a rabid dog infested trail which Hemorrhoid entertainingly took an evasive dive to earn the Crash. The trails was well marked with greenish-white strips – lucky for Alice everything is so brown and parched – the strips were visible!

The first 1.4km was pretty good, with the checks keeping us reasonably together and the welcome sight of the pink paper loomed while the noise was coming from the nasty looking ridge to the right – some clever little back checks to keep Does Nothing occupied and then the ‘shiggy to the ridge’ – hummm I was over heating/knackered by this point despite being (amazingly) at the front. I knew that was it for me – so up the Bellyesque slope we trudged – I lingered back just in case Does Nothing again hit a check-back. Of course the down hill was abominable with everyone over taking me – leaving Tip Toe and me to figure out which of Alice’s paper to follow.

Apologies to Tip Toe for guessing wrong and adding another 1km to the (5.5km) run because I followed old paper – but never mind we survived! Thanks to Alice and his ‘gang’ for a decent run and good to be back to hashing with CH3!

GM Graven Image led a game circle and male hashing notched up Turkish Delights 200th Run & the Wings!

(Insomniac Belly Dancer)

19th March – CH3 – ABB & Cumlord

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By Alice

The Admiral and the Lord of Cum combined to good effect in Mae Jo setting an excellent runners’ run from the square lake. True, the number of hashers outnumbered the checks and true, the run directions neglected to drop a pin for the woollyback devotees.
The air wasn’t great and in many places the forest was sparse and burnt. The trails were very runnable with soft sand and dirt along much of the course thus allowing your humble scribe to find an obtrusive stone and turn his fff left ankle again.
The drive in was a tad fraught with one main sign on a key turn half hidden ans then SheepShagger came driving back against me in high dudgeon shouting th and that. If he’d seen the sign on the left to the square lake he would have been happier and I’d not have been traduced.
We got there just in time for the circle and soon we were off heading towards the road. A tricky check had everyone foxed, I checked back and left about 40m given the circle was 60m further down. As Does Nothing said if I’d checked 42m I’d have found paper! This messed the whole pack up for a few more minutes.
Sheepy and Browny seemed to be doing FRB duties and each register under 10 dB. As the pack passed me, I relaxed into a walking, jogging, walking rhythm that kept me going in the humid and oxygen light air.
The trial was basically familiar but until we were 1km from home I wasn’t sure exactly how it all linked up, just that I knew the trails from before and even remembered the placing of checks.
One annoying thing that the hares did was get to a junction and throw some paper down the wrong route. Just one clump but it did its job.
After about 4 km I recognised a split in the main trail and Sheepy found a circle down the left fork. I sensed home was straight so continued. I was running ok although the osteo arthritis in the right foot seems to kick in about this point regularly and today was no exception.
Angry Inch came barrelling in from the right about now. Wtf he was doing there I have no idea and nor I believe does he. Towards the end we ran down a hill ans turned left towards the A bucket. Graven appeared shirtless and asked if we’d seen the On In? I hadn’t, so presume trail had lurched right.
Back at the A it was sweaty Betty time and a well deserved run down and rest.
A lovely trail to run, although perhaps not enough surprises and basic checks to retard the FRBs who are retarded enough in their own right.
OnOnoOn at 2gether Bar where the skinny waitress with tiny shorts will live longer in the memory than the food, which was fine!

CH3 Outstation – Graven Image

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Rating: 6.3/10 (3 votes cast)

By Alice

Graven and Anal Vice stand in Angry Inch set a tough outstation run in Pattaya for the vacationers from ChiangMai and an equal number of local hashmen, true and staunch.

The crowd assembled at some Aussie bar and familiar faces from my Pattaya hashes in years
gone by revealed themselves, even if I couldn’t recall many names: Reargunner, Jello Butt, Ass Bandit to name but three.

Superman and the super wide Superboy fronted up with the lanky Redundant Semen plus cigarettes in tow. It was onto the baht bus and a rattling hour or so to the A.

Graven produced some very eye catching CH3 commemorative polo shirts featuring a direct quote from Chuck Wao:My level of sarcasm depends on your level of stupidity. I say!

First leg was a tough 11 km with trail marked in small playing card size paper printed with a grey graven image on. The picture wasn’t entirely clear and looked like a strange beast buggering a horse, so it was pretty apt I guess.

The hares, according the local pundits, had done a good job and set trail in different directions to what local hares would do. They knew where the trail was heading but not how our CH3 boys would get there.

Most notable on this leg were a steep climb thru long grass and over rocks that went on. And on. We also had a tricky check on the side of a steep hill of rubber trees. Then we had a section where paper was removed and the FRBs continued 300m to find paper but no body shouted back to us looking elsewhere!

After a tricky loop back on paper to another check, mid pack were confused by paper seemingly going two directions and On and check calls coming from different places.

Alice found trail and then a FT. On was called way back in the woods but luckily my eagle eyes spotted three FRBs running across a field behind a wall 400m away so ran thru the FT to join up in short order. Runners behind were confused as they espied the FT. Some followed me, some looped thru the woods. More fool them.

Back in the big ploughed tapioca field, the FRBs, Jello, Chucky and a.n.other had left the immediate check intact. Alas they did so for the next three, all running together as the locals ‘knew’ where it must go.
No check guarding or spreading out. No calling. Although Chucky swears to differ.

The tapioca fields went on and on and the trail inbetween was runnable. After the climb, it was pleasant to run on rutted flattish track. Here the flies descended and every man probably laughed at the hundreds of the critters on the head/hat/back/pack of the man in front, little realizing he was also so festooned.

Finally the hares appeared on trail, beer was near! After a welcome pitstop of water and fruit it was off on the last 4-5km with Jello Butt fcuking up most checks and running off paper the memorable feature. Chucky can be trusted on this point of fact.

Terrain was uneven and broken, we went thru tapioca fields and some shiggy before hitting a big road, crossing and then more tapioca fields.
The FRBs and paper disappeared behind a building and all was quiet.

Suddenly I saw coloured shirts running across my front way on the other side of another tapioca field and ran from ridge to ridge across the wide expanse and there was the A site, a few hundred meters to the left.

All in I clocked up 11km but FRBs may have done 12km or should have done. The rain after the set didn’t help our valiant hares but overall they did a sterling job and it was extremely refreshing to meet and mingle with Pattaya men.
OnOnOn at M Club? shall remain cloudy for various reasons, although the portions were fabulous and succulent. The pizzas I mean.