Category Archives: CH3 – Monday

9/9/2019 – CH3 – HRA

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It was Delboy’s 43rd birthday and what surprises and treats would HRA have in store for us?
Plenty as it happened…

Would he rehash his last run? No! He sneakily rehashed one of Cumalot’s from a year ago instead!

Potato Head got the first check right and in very splashable style waved his arms up and down on the road yelling, “Paper here! I’ve found it!”

We soon turned for the forest on the right and here I blitzed 3 or 4 checks heading up into the Doi. Cartoon found the 5th to the right as I blundered about in the trees well away to the left and by the time I’d got back, half the plodde…also-ra….pack had passed me.

The loping ABB stepped aside as I jogged along the lovely forest trail, Pussy Whisperer too, but Piggy shimmied this way and that upon my polite call of, “Passing left please!”
“Which left do you mean?” he barked.
“ The other left!”
‘FO grandad!’ he’s getting next time!

Cartoon was nailing checks and Delboy although the stronger runner, was taking the duff options then catching up. As we came to another circle near properties, he went straight on the best trail. I went right around a garden fence while the lemmings followed best option Del, apart from honest Krapthai who went left.

Paper! I called Onon and put my (newish) Decathlons to the road. At the next corner I was on again after yet another circle and followed concrete for another few hundred meters. Shit. No paper. Go back. Double shit. FT partially hidden.
Leaving the strips on the fence, I turned into an orchard 50m back and bingo! A left, left box in the woods brought me back almost to where I’d turned back after the FT. I really pushed myself to keep ahead and couldn’t credit I was ahead of Delboy.
Back along familiar trail and a sharp left through a bamboo gate. Cartoon missed this but Del didn’t and caught me in the forest about 10m shy of the powder OnIn.
We ran in together to a wave from HRA.
Super run and 5.4km for me in decent time.
Capt Kagan enjoyed Frozen Morgan’s Spicy Rum and ABB excoriated all the non drinkers for getting sloshed.
Back at MadDog, the ever inventive Pussy W suggested a breathalyzer test be applied to all hashers after the circle to determine their Hash fee on a sliding scale.
A suggestion deserving of serious AGFU consideration.
Onon and HBFU Delboy.
Alice

2nd Sept – CH3 – Emma Royde

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Oh dear. The RA certainly fixed it for me. Like Jimmy Bleedin’ Savile fixed shit. Soaked thru for 30 mins on the drive in and home, and same same during the run. Nice weather for ducks as my old man would say. And fcuking idiot hashers on motorbikes too!

Arriving just pre-hare brief, I glimpsed Emma Royde’s snazzy ERII checks and heard there was W-R split. Eggelen chimed in both my knees together.

On the way out ShSh, Frozen and self were at the rear again and considering the big questions of the day. Was that gate aluminum or aluminum? Was it painted or anodized? Lucky the rain cooled my fevered brain as ShSh and FD demonstrated how we Brits and Septics are indeed two peoples, separated by a common language.

The rain fell even heavier and we turned off into orchards and then forest. Tiptoe and Rooter were ahead meandering this way and that in search of clear paper and trail.
Finding a damp strip I yelled OnOn! and realized Rooter wasn’t aware of our presence as he breakdanced like 10,000 V had just gone up his leg.

The ground softening, I headed on alone along flooding muddy trails until I got to checks where I checked and returned to the others, sometimes to give them the right info and sometimes not, as returning to a check discombobulated me somewhat. Was it left or the other left? Fcuk, I’m confused!

It really was something, shallow streams flowing along the forest paths and pools forming in dips. Still it hammered down and soon we were returning to the settled area and the A site at the cock ring shelter.

A few sick, lame and idle bastards were already there so we swapped excuses and waited for the pack to return.

ShSh headed off for another loop having told me my knee issues are all to do with wrong shoes and being too heavy for them. Sauce!

The circle was enjoyable with Piggy, Belly and ABB along with HRA the GM entertaining us with their wit, ribaldry and general character assassination. Saying that, I did get a sharp intake of breath when I contrasted clean living, upstanding hasher Pussy Whisperer with Purple Fart, the hasher most likely to breed with another species!

Rather wonderfully Tom Callahan the Co-Hare didn’t know what a brolly was, so eventually we settled on his Hash handle as Mary Poppins, to raucous cheers. Piggy did the honours in style, an MC of some talent, weddings, award nights and circumcisions a speciality I hear.
Great set in a lovely area with a shelter fit for circles – and for cockfighting! Well done Emma and Mary Poppins!

Chim-chimney, chim-chimney, chim chim cheroo…keep your fcuking shorts on next time, Skiddy please do!

26th August – CH3 – Alice

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It was out in Sankampaeng, near the ‘airplanes’ – I’ve never made it to a run here, so it was clear early on that the likes of Cartoon had some advantage. I arrived with enough time to get changed, grab a bottle of water, but unfortunately the over exuberant hare had set them off already, but it wasn’t far around the corner when I started picking off the walkers – Libbers, Tiptoe, Frozen etc.

It was going to be flat, and wet and it wasn’t long before we were dancing over flooded waterways. I was back with the pack well before the first of the beerstops – here I went the wrong way, so was catching up again as we ran along the road. Trail turned right at a junction with no check, which was immediately suspicious. Up ahead the likes of Cartoon and Skiddy were paused, but then carried on, but without any call that I heard. When I got 80m down the trail there was a circle. Typical – if only someone had called. By now they had scattered onwards, so I turned around and went back to the road – here Belly got a slight advantage over me and HRA and he put in a bit of a jog. We chased him down as the road went through some ricefields.

Again my radar was suspicious, and I spotted something whitish off to the left and decided to check it out, even with Cartoon calling from behind me that he could see the paper going straight on – presumably to a false trail, but you’d need to hide it a bit better to trick me. Here we got onto quite a nice trail that was headed back in the general direction of A with a creek on the left. HRA, Cartoon and I took turns until a check visible the other side of a metal bridge. The construction of the bridge was clearly very stable, but it was rusty, and my hatred of bridges took me a while to brave crossing it, even with a second beer stop just on the other side!

A second beer stop – what a treat! The pack was a bit ahead of me heading back towards the road, and I suspected my chances were over. I forced myself to jog, and found I was feeling better than I have recently – hopefully early signs that my fitness is returning? Sheep Shagger ran past the turning off the road, and then we were following Cartoon who was suddenly off paper up ahead – I looked to my right, and there was the false trail. Back a few steps and into an alley, when SS called it, I darted past and hit the front with Cartoon splashing through the mud to my right. Around the corner, we must be close by now and I was flowing along, until another FT. Damnit! Those following me turned around as well, and all ran past a turning at the back of the temple – I ducked into it, and sure enough there was paper and it was just a short way around the temple and I spotted my car and the A site on my right.

Nice one!

22nd July – CH3 – Cartoon

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We were back out at the San Kampaeng lake to see what Cartoon would give us this time. I set off walking with CW & Emmaroyde, but it was quite a way before we got a check, so in the end we started jogging. Finally a check, and we carried on up and over the little hill where the dirt bikes often play around, and from there we were onto the trail along the side of the hill – would we turn right into the rice fields, or left over the hill?

A false trail slowed us down as it seemed that the trail continued forwards from it, just off to the left. HRA seemed on good form as he led the way for a while. It was decision time, and we were right by the last real option for going over the hill – TMB’s trail – sure enough Emmaroyde led the way, a little bit ahead of CW and me. Its a bit of a push to get up, scrambling over the rocks.

Back down the other side, and CW was leading the way to the left – I took the easier route along the road, and rejoined at another circle. We were on the way back now, but there were still choices – a false trail, I’d called before we got to it, but still the hare managed to catch us out at the canal, as we didn’t expect to go back in on the out trail – sneaky.

1st July – CH3 – ABB

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I’ve been fighting with an unpleasant hangover all day, so my brain definitely isn’t switched on today. I nearly went for a nap instead of heading to the hash, but forced myself out to get some exercise. I was late… Worse that expected traffic, and just generally taking longer than it should to get my shit together. The pack had 10 minutes on me when I set off – ABB offered me a short cut, but I decided against it – I need exercise!

From the shelter on the way to the Tiger Head, the trail set off out the back and over the little weir. As I’d been putting my shoes on I could hear CW as they looped around to the right and back to the road. From here trail crossed the road and head pretty straight towards the square lake, and it was here after 10 mins or so I caught Tiptoe & Frozen Dick. Across the lake I saw Softballs, and slowly reeled him in as the trail headed back towards the right.

Some of these trails were very tight – I could hear CW off to my right, but the trail didn’t immediately turn right. I could have short cut, but thought better of it and persevered. There was one bit that slowed me down as the bushes the paper was stapled to seemed to have been cut down.

And then all of a sudden there was the ONION! Around 4.5km – a short, flattish run, but given the state of my head, I was happy to be sat drinking water.

Canada Day eh?

24th June – CH3 – Soft Balls

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It was a trip out to the lake by Alpine Golf Course, and the first run I’d been on set by Softballs… It was a bit warm, so I set off alongside Pigshit, taking tips on how to come from behind by walking very slowly at the start. I tried, but after a while, I edged my way forwards.

It was CW & Skid Mark setting the pace, and I trotted along behind them. Rice fields to the right, we were heading along a nice trail along the bottom of a hill to the left. Wimp Rambo split had the Wimps heading off to the right, but instinct would have suggested the Rambo trail would be to the left back over the hill. We hit a stretch of about a KM with no checks, and I caught Skidmark while CW was up ahead. CW also expected to turn left, and got the V check wrong. In the meantime, I’d changed my mind, and guessed that the reason there were no checks was that we were heading back parallel to where we were.

I was right, and managed to jog along – another KM back with no checks, while CW slowly reeled me in and caught me at the beer stop. We were back on the road, but we struggled for a moment not spotting paper heading into the rice field to the left – an abrupt road crossing apparently. CW did spot it, about the same time I found paper further up the road, so I carried on walking so he would catch up. Seems there was plenty of confusion from there on, as paper wasn’t easy to spot. I rounded a corner and suddenly found CW & Skiddy appearing again in front of me not long before the ONIN.

Badly needed exercise!

17th June – CH3 – Frozen Dick (And Shrek)

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Another FD run from his backyard – this time purportedly assisted by Shrek, although Shrek was clearly too embarrassed to show up and have his name associated with it! It wasn’t that bad Shrek!

As I walked out of the A bucket, with Skiddy, Ting Tong & Turkish, I noted the absence of many of the usual FRBs – no CW, no Cartoon, no seasonals… I might have to do some work here. First check came very quickly, and I got it very wrong, but trying to start off gently it wasn’t a big deal. I caught up to Piggy, just as we saw some confusion further ahead. It seems Skiddy had missed his sticks – Piggy & I glanced to the right and saw paper. We looped around a field and down to a familiar multiway junction for a check. I tried 2 ways before ABB found it going sharply up the hill. I remember doing this hill in reverse not so long back – the view was spectacular today!

At the top, another circle, and despite getting there first, ABB stood looking at the circle. Turkish went straight on, I drifted off to the right (there is a shack and we’d been up that way before). Others arrived and spread out – for a small top of a steep hill, there weren’t many options. I went back to the circle and decided reluctantly to head down the steep side to the left. If I was wrong, I wasn’t looking forward to climbing back up, but thank F for that, there was paper on the back of a tree and now I had a serious advantage!

Back down into the valley, and I jogged along for a bit. V check! Got it wrong, but was back on trail as they appeared at the check. OnOn straight into some Skiddy Sticks. Damnit! I think we all wanted to look to the right, but when I finally saw a trail off up to the left, I was surprised nobody had checked it yet. It was a bit of a climb, but there was paper and I was off again! Uphill mostly, but I was moving along ok, and when the trail steered even further to the left it was highly unlikely. I turned sharp right back on myself, and when I saw the paper knew there must be some more sticks ahead there. I called out to those following me – but none of those lazy bastards bothered to make it clear for the walkers.

Downhill now, and I could run a bit. A V-check, and as I turned right, I thought it might be possible to get around the side of the hill – looking at my strava, that was clearly a dumb choice! It was left, but I was back at the check when Skiddy was marking it. Down the hill and out into the valley – we were heading back and I was ahead. A familiar trail off to the left, and no check – I assumed it was too obviously straight so the hare hadn’t bothered, only to hit some more MOTHER FUCKING sticks! Man I was pissed by that set! Half the pack had past me as we followed Piggy for a while. Piggy using his trademarked strategy of doing fuck all for most of the run, and then creaming the end.

I knew we had to be turning right, and lucked out with a check that went back up over the hill. Turkish was looking forlornly from the opposite side of a deep ravine. Som Nam Na! From here it was a LONG run out to the OnIn. Piggy slowly reeled me in, and settled into a steady pace when he caught me, urging me to keep going. Finally there was the OnIn, and I walked the last bit while Piggy breezed his way to the beer.

20th May – CH3 – Chuck Wao

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As an early disclaimer, I write this as the co-hare… CW asked if I would come and set the run with him, but also mentioned it would be early in the morning, by which he meant 7am. My alarm went off at 6, but I definitely didn’t have the required amount of caffeine necessary for human engagement by the time I was on site to help carry paper…
!
I understand it gets hot – and f**k me was it hot, but I wasn’t 100% Byte at 7am on my day off. Fortunately CW had scouted everything and promised me a simple set… Which was true for around 100m… After climbing the small cliff, CW was immediately looking for ways off to the left – ways that weren’t there… After 300m of trail, it didn’t look good staring off the side of a steep cliff – CW was running around looking for a way down, I was praying a coffee god would come and save me!

We finally found scouting plastic thread and we were off, temporarily… CW had found a decent route, but it was easier to spot from the other side, so we went the long way around and while CW marked the connect, I marked the next stretch. CW instructed me “Go down there and put a false trail”… but with time on my hands, I decided a circle would be much more challenging – it was, and it split the pack. How badly can a co-hare fuck a trail up?

The next stretch was around the lake, and with a couple of interesting additions, shouldn’t have been too challenging to figure out.

Finally I got home for a nap and some time to ready myself for the hash. It was tame enough that I encouraged all my boys to come out and give it a go! Thanks to the circle they are now well aware about Chuck Wao involving the penis.

After the pack set off we went to clean up the OnIn, and CW did a great job – not that anyone found out… He reset pretty much every bit of paper lovingly stapling it to the other side of the same leaf each time. After 400m we got to the split where the trail would come back in, and I was instructed to go and tear paper down – “for further than you think!”. I did – I went a long way, so far that I nearly caught Frozen Dick and Tiptoe. Surely that was far enough?

When I got back, I found that CW had laid the connecting paper in the wrong direction, and hadn’t found our previous mark… With a spark of “genius” I suggested making it a false trail… Once again, your co-hare fucked up the trail, as I clearly didn’t clear enough paper, while Skid Mark remembered where he was too well, while the rest of the pack didn’t bother going back to find the true trail…

I think everyone got back ok…

30th April – CH3 – Alice

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It was hot and somewhat smoggy in the morning so I set after lunch when it’s still fff hot but less smoggy.

The arrival of TipToe and Frozen driving HRA unaided, suggested signage was spot on although the Sheep Shagger and Turkey acid test may have told another tale.

With shade and a drinks stop it wasn’t too bad as the run was mostly flat apart from a short climb though the woods to an old Turkey trail.

An expected small pack proved again that quality doesn’t equal quantity. Skidmark brought Potato Head for his first CH3 run despite it being his 13th wedding anniversary. Kudos! Two German visitors pushed the Aryan quota and the Balls dynasty limits.

The hare brief was brief. White paper squares, that way, go!

I heard the calling for the first check and also the second as he pack turned left in the forest and came back to cross a dry creek, Tiptoe swinging down on the vines that probably wouldn’t have held Potato Head – with obvious results. Pigshit enjoyed that sideshow.

Up through the orchard and a tricky check at a wide t junction but true trail through the fence and into the forest.

When scouting that trail in the doi, I was convinced we’d not been there until I found compelling evidence that CroMagnum man had left his mark. Yup, Turkish Delight checks from Dec 2016.

The trail turned south and headed for some homesteads out of the forest and a 3 way where right was back to a familiar flooded quarry. So I went straight and brought the pack around to the big posh house on the corner.

Next check was the kicker. It was 30m past the corner and straight looked inviting as Strava proved. Back and across the wooden bridge it was, but Chucky stopped a few metres short and suddenly the pack were rechecking and then checking silly non options. Finally ABB went over Chuck Wao’s footsteps and found paper and it was Onon through the forest after ten minutes pluses ! Here the pack collected the last few million sticker balls I’d left behind and made two turns without checks.

Out overlooking the canal the next check above the new mansion had Cartoon and ABB looking deep in the casava field when it was straight on and down. Pigshit and Chuckwao were first to
the beer stop although the lanky Aussie needed his Seeing Pig to identify Alice, motorbike and beers.

Our German visitors made the most of it. One had two glasses and the other took his glass with him.

Potato Head had been complaining about twisted ankle and this and that. Come on son, your dad can stay home if he wants to get nagged!

The trail blew through the only V and then around a flooded quarry. FRBs traipsing around were watched by sneaky ABB who cut across the top side to rejoin trail.

The final trick was a FT and it actually worked. Cartoon and Chucky came back from the fenced alley saying False Trail.

ABB points left and runs off convinced he’s homewards bound. Wrong!
Half the pack follow the errant Sealhacker while HRA plus German stand and ignore Cartoons cries of OnOn from the right.

Finally ChuckWao returns up the path, finds the gap in the fence 40m from the bar and sees the paper link 10m away. Why anyone would run 100m from trail looking for paper off a FT beats me!

FRBs made it back just over the hour. Frozen had continued along a forest trail beyond check 2 and got thru the big property and back. Tiptoe I’m not sure of as he never made the drinks stop. The small circle was lightly handled by new GM HRA, and this tired hare enjoyed a cider.

Onon,
Alice

1st April – CH3 – Alice

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I came back from the seaside as I had a date with destiny: haring CH3 on 1st April and how well the date suited the conditions. Actually I’d scouted 2 weeks before with a mystery co-hare who shall remain nameless but Sweary Mary may give you an inkling. The day I returned was fair in the arvo so I set the run on a whim Sunday.
A small pack was no surprise, but size doesn’t always equate with quality as we know. Tiptoe was a bit challenged arriving and it was 4:55 before he fronted. We set off at 5 after as the guys filled water bottles with hydration salts.
Off they walked to the first check overlooking the rice field behind. Before long the pack were away along the riverside path and crossing over a bamboo bridge to the other side. Further down they came back over and to a check as they hit the road. Strava suggests an FRB found trail going into the property rather than the actual first few papers but no matter, the pack cantered along a narrow path above a stream and crossed to a FT, the first of a few.
Back and along the side of a field to a main path. Paper went right but the pack must have expected it to go left. I imagine a FT was suspected. Across a rickety bamboo bridge to a check and then a big box back towards the sandbag dam crossing. While setting, I saw a big black snake slither out of the paddy just a yard infront of me. I remembered to forget that in my hare brief.
Across the dam to a forest check. ABB and Graven took the obvious routes back and along either side of the river. Cartoon eventually crossed a small stream and a concrete weir to find trail along the top edge of a big lake. That check spun ’em around a bit!
Through the school and across another swampy stream into a property with dogs and cattle. No dogs today luckily. Out to a 4 way road check and a big loop towards the 1014 and back over berms in rice fields to a farming property and a tricky check with a long bamboo bridge involved in solving it. More rice field berms and a check near the road in a copse. ABB found true trail but the Turk followed pink walkers paper and Graven with Cartoon followed him to the beer stop.
The last click and a half was around the houses then a switchback to the fields and across a solid berm to the river side path and another beer stop before the On In. Pussy Whisperer, Cumlord and visitor Red Bone made the most of amber supplies. Graven made the most of the first check, skirting the A site and returning to where he’d been an hour previously. Who said Oregonians were behind the times?
Tiptoe and Mumbles marched in after the main pack after probably 1:20 +. Some of the checks hadn’t been kicked so they’d had work to do! Cartoon twanged a calf – there’s a joke in there somwhere – and All Hail the Pussy for 100 up with CH3!
OnOn,
Alice