Category Archives: CSH3 Hash Trash

CSH3 Hash Trash #

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Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

                                             Hash Trash 1532                                                                                                                                                                    Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1533

Some came by car, some by truck, some even paid  the princely sum of 23 Baht and came by train, but I unfortunately chose  motorcycle  as my mode of transportation and subsequently got  absolutely drenched  thanks to a thunderstorm that persisted for about 90 % of the journey. This was the first outstation under Skid Mark’s GMship and the location was Lampang. My route took me  passed  the Elephant  Conservation Center on the approach to Lampang, Whenever I pass this place I am always reminded of a Male Hash Outstation, some 20 years ago, and a hash circle we had nearby which turned  out to be one of the most drunken circles I can ever remember. As I passed, I gave a short toot of the horn in deference to the historical significance of the site. I was one of the last to arrive at the resort as many of the usual suspects were already tucking into their cheese and wine.

The hares for the weekend were Frozen Dick and Chuck Wao who over the past week had been busily scouting and organizing the proceedings  The A bucket for the Saturday run was about 6 km away from the resort, so we all got into the nearest available  vehicle and  drove to the A site. The first thing that became immediately apparent was that there were many stray dogs all along the road. It was if there had been a mass breakout from the local dog’s home because these dogs looked healthy specimens of the canine variety and not the usual skanky. mangy, forsaken creatures that are so abound in Thailand.

We arrived at the A site inside a wooded area beside a lake. Apparently the run was going to be similar to one set by them 5 years ago. I was at that outstation, but I can remember very little about the run. It all seemed like virgin territory to me. Frozen gave the hare brief, nothing of great note to be reported here.

During every run each of the participants has their own particular priority. There are, of course, the FRBs with their competitive racing. There are those concentrating on the collection of mushrooms and other edible flora. Then I was made aware of another, little known, sub-genre present in the pack; that of the RRBs – Rear Racing B@#$%!rds .Prior to today’s run I was approached by Square Rooter – normally a very mild mannered, affable, uncontroversial type of hasher who has been here for as long as I can remember and has often played the role of mediator and bridge builder. But today, he, in no uncertain terms, laid down the gauntlet to me : saying, in a menacing fashion,  that he would finish before me and that I would be toast. I couldn’t believe my ears. The pressure was on me to perform. This goes to prove that there are so many different facets to hashing. Whatever happened, I was determined to finish in front of Square Rooter. This has now been made personal.

We set off into the forest along green and luscious trails  after a couple of kms we started a gentle incline – it may have been gentle, but it went on and on proving to be a very energy sapping  trudge. From time to time I seemed to hear the sound of cow bells. At the time I didn’t give this much thought, until I got to near the top to be confronted by a herd of startled cattle – that can only be described as – stampeding towards me. The safest place I could see in this situation was to dive behind a tree. This action proved to be a source of great entertainment to Snail Trail as later she would recount the incident; with me resorting to hugging a tree and found the whole affair hilarious. The cattle finally calmed down and I was able once more to carry on. I passed the herdsman who was quite happily getting on with his business smiling and oblivious to my near death experience.

We started to descend through the forest and came to a flight of very well constructed concrete steps that seemed to lead to nowhere in particular, but they were valuable aid to us descending through this jungle like  terrain. At the bottom of the steps we got onto an equally well constructed concrete path. We carried on this for about 1 km  leading us to a temple with a few of those previously mentioned dogs waiting for us. Once again we ventured forth and back into the forest and a change of paper color to bright orange which was much easier to see. At this time I was following silly Cow and had to protect her from some of the stray dogs. We carried on through ravines, up and down passing the odd beautiful lake – once again exemplifying the sheer beauty of hashing in Thailand. We eventually arrived back at the A bucket. The run was about 6 km and took me the best part of an hour and a half

The only point of concern was that Liberace had got stuck in a ravine or something, but a rescue party was dispatched and brought him back. Although, quite obviously, shaken by the experience he was uninjured and after a while he was soon back to his normal self. On a personal note I finished ahead of Square Rooter; not that it is a race.

Run #1534

The Sunday Hangover run started with a mad dash around Lampang looking for a place to buy beer as we had completely depleted our stock on the previous day. But where there is a wiil there’s a way, and I soon found a repository willing to sell us the amber hashing nectar. Chuk Wao gave the hare brief- the only thing I remember from that : was that we were to encounter  an ob-star- cal        ( obstacle ). Everyone set off with what can only be described as apathetic disinterest with no one even breaking into a trot. The run basically took us around the resort and through a moo ban where we came across the obstacle which was an eight foot concrete wall. Some people turned back but most surmounted the hindrance and back to the resort. THe run was about 1.75 kmand taking about 20 minutes.

 

The RA came up trumps with the weather which was perfect for all the time we were at the resort. A big thank you to both the hares for the time and effort they put into organizing this outstation as these events don’t happen without a lot of work and preparation. A  very successful and  enjoyable outstation. Thanks guys.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke …

 

CSH3 Hash Trash # 1531

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Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

                                             Hash Trash 1531                                                                                                                                                                    Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1532

Today’s run was set on top of a small hillock about 14 km South of the Samoeng junction on the Canal Road and Turkish Delight was the orchestrator of proceedings for today. He had sought permission to have the A bucket at a property owned by Mr Art. Mr Art kindly agreed and welcomed us – with open arms- onto his land, but this didn’t stop Titty Smoker, Hash Cash, charging him and his entire family run fees for the privilege of having a load of drunken hashers invade his beautiful home. The last time, I remember running from this point was in the middle of the smoky season which must have been about 18 months ago. Then the whole area resembled some kind of post-apocalyptic, dystopic hell hole. But it goes to show what a difference the rainy season makes as today it was like something  more akin to paradise regained with the clear unpolluted skies, green luscious vegetation  and the elevation giving us  a beautiful panoramic view of the surrounding countryside.

About 40 of the usual suspects turned up for today’s event with one or two long time returnees making an appearance after long absences; these were Liberace, Pig Shit, Emmaroyd and Silly Cow. Turkish gave the hare brief; I don’t think there was anything of great note to report here. We all set off down the hill which immediately brought us to the Rambo Wimp split. I, feeling somewhat energetic, decided to take the Rambo option. We ran down a dirt track for a few minutes and came to the first circle check which confused everyone as there were strips of paper leading directly off the circle. We were led into a wooded area down a leafy trail, a recurring theme on today’s run At this point I was following Rat’s Arse who wasn’t paying any attention to the paper and led me off trail on more than one occasion.

We ventured onwards  and  upwards, up a small hill and came to a circle check where I encountered Shagless  who was awaiting orders on which direction to take. I along with Rat’s Arse decided to keep him company for a while.  With hashers dispersed in all directions. The trail was proving difficult to locate. I noticed Obscene returning from a fruitless trail although he was in possession of a few mushrooms, his mum is training him well. Eventually the trail was  found taking us down a big slope along a few dried up stream beds. As we descended, I was following  HRA and Titty Smoker . Titty Smoker was tentatively and carefully picking his way down the hill , befitting someone of his years, where as HRA  was traversing the terrain  with the exuberance and flippant disregard of a  teenager.

Every now and then two kids – aged about 8 or 9, I hadn’t seen before – would pop up out of nowhere. They turned out to be  Mr Art’s kids. They were like a couple of woodland sprites and seemed to know their way around the area, and well attuned to the ways of the forest.  One of them had to guide Deep Throat on to the correct path as he had got disoriented at one of the circle checks subsequently putting him at the back of the pack.

We carried on along the green and leafy trails through dried up streams for 1 or 2 kms then we totally lost paper. I was in the company of Rat’s Arse, so not an unexpected occurrence. I was about to resort to my GPS when I we heard OnOn being called in the distance. We made our way to where the calls were emanating and found Square Rooter  being escorted on to the trail by Mr Art and his  couple of woodland sprites. They then proceeded to guide us all back to the A bucket.

The Weather conditions were once again excellent. We can now expect nothing less from our RA, Mr Wao, who week after week is coming up with the goods. The run was just over 5km and took me just over an hour. I didn’t get a mushroom report other than those collected by Obscene.

A nice run, great location, lovely trails, thank you Turkish.

 

OnOn Stumbling Dyke

 

CSH3 Hash Trash # 1530

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Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

Hash Trash 1530

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1531

Cartoon was the hare for today’s escapade and the location was out in Sankampeng at a frequently hashed from A bucket which I think is now eligible for ELS – Eponymous Location Status. To join such illustrious venues as Turkey’s Triangle and Superman’s Dog Leg. Maybe, something like Cartoon’s Lay By. I’m sure there’s a better name than that, anyway just a thought.

Cartoon gave the hare brief with about 30 of the usual suspects in attendance. There was nothing of particular note. Running through rice fields, shredded paper, the usual stuff. We set off out of the A bucket turned right and we were immediately sent on an upward trajectory  soon finding ourselves in an environment where a mountain goat would have felt quite at home. We tentatively negotiated the precipitous terrain, slipping and sliding, for about 10 minutes, or so, only to realize that we all had been victims of a cunning and fiendish plan as this had been a loop. We now found ourselves, more or less, back at the A bucket with a very self-satisfied and smug looking Cartoon awaiting us. But he did assure us that the run was going to be flat from now on.

We all set off again down a gravel track for a couple of hundred meters, or so, and into the first of many rice fields on today’s foray. It wasn’t long before I bumped into Snail Trail and Cummalot where we exchanged pleasantries and I inquired on the mushroom status. They informed me that they were in quest of bamboo shoots and that the fungologists Were elsewhere deployed, namely Doesn’t Get it, Hot Nipples and Wooly Jumper.

The trail continued and took us across a couple of ditches, around the perimeter of the field and onto a road which we ran along for a few hundred meters. Then we once again turned right and once more found ourselves amidst another green and luscious plantation of Thailand’s largest cash crop. Here I met the fungologists seeming very pleased with themselves; showing me a big bag of their foraged bounty.

We skirted the field, into a wooded area and up a small hill. On getting to the top, I could see Tip Toe, Square Rooter and Deep Throat in discussion. I joined them and saw their dilemma. We were once more confronted by a huge rice plantation which by the vastness of its expanse was a veritable sea of green and with the sky of blue; I half expected to see a yellow submarine. For those of you under the age of 30, who might happen to read this, that’s a reference from the lyrics of a Beatles’ song – The Beatles being a popular and rather successful boy band of the 1960’s. I digress; our dilemma being, there was an obvious short cut through the rice crop which I could see had been taken by some of the harriettes, but Tip Toe took the executive decision that we should not in any way damage the rice plants; we all duly agreed and embarked on the long way round. This was not without reward as the views across the vibrant rice crop were spectacular with Square Rooter stopping to take many photos along the way.

We eventually got to the opposite side of the field; crossed one of those ubiquitous mosquito ridden ditches of stagnant water by means of a narrow concrete post which had been layed across the expanse. Then up a slight incline; through a wooded area; past a very holy looking Buddhist shrine and onto a gravel track and back to the A bucket.

It goes without saying. the weather conditions for today’s outing were once again perfect, so ‘All Hail’ once more to the RA, Chuck Wao, For his climactic wizardry. I clocked up just over 5 km and it took me about an hour. A great run with spectacular views, well done Cartoon.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke….

 

CSH3 Hash Trash # 1529

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Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

Hash Trash 1529

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1530

Today’s run was in celebration of Chatterbox’s 15th birthday- another year closer to becoming a true hasher; a drinker with a running problem, that is. The location for today’s event was at  G & M’s sausage factory out in Sankampeng, and Chatterbox along with Skid Mark were the hares.

Skid Mark gave the hare brief, the usual sort of stuff , the only point of interest  being it was going to be a B to A affair. Meaning, we would have to be taken to the B bucket by some means or other. This shouldn’t have been a particularly notable event with a lot of the hashers going in the songteaw, so many in fact, that it looked as if the front wheels of the truck  were going to leave the ground. The rest of us, about eight in all, were destined to travel in Titty Smoker’s truck. The only problem with this arrangement was that Titty Smoker was going to run too. Consequently, Skid Mark ended up driving. It didn’t start at all well, literally, with Skid Mark being unable to turn the key in the ignition also another point of contention was that Titty Smoker’s truck has a manual transmission and it became immediately evident that Skid Mark hadn’t driven a manual car for quite some time. This became particularly obvious as we arrived at the B bucket where I think he must have stopped the car without depressing the clutch giving all of us, traveling in the back, a practical demonstration of Newton’s First Law of Motion as we were all sent flying forward by the abruptness of the stop. We, thankfully, all alighted the truck in one piece albeit a little shaken.

A hallmark of runs set by Skid Mark is that they are generally pretty flat. Today’s run was no exception. This area of Sangampeng is about 90% rice fields and at the hare brief we had been informed that we would be running on the perimeter of these fields, but at no point would the trail take us directly through any of the lush green cereal crop. About twenty of us in all set off and it wasn’t long before we came to the first circle check. When the correct trail had been located  I found myself towards the rear of the pack accompanied by Turkish who had decided  to take a leisurely stroll and give the FRBing a miss for the day. We passed a beautiful example of an authentic Lanna style house with Turkish and myself taking a little time to appreciate the aesthetic charm of the traditional architecture. We carried on a little further passed a few cattle.They all looked pretty sedate, so I don’t think anyone had startled them that much. We then came across the Frbs who were just returning from a false trail excursion. So there we were again in the thick of the action.

We went through a wooded area and came to a steep ditch which we needed to cross and the only means of getting over it was a semi submerged, dodgy, wobbly plank. As I crossed the ditch I slipped slightly and my one foot sank deep in the abyss of the shitty, murky, horrible, water. I didn’t think anyone saw my stumble only to clamber up the other side of the ditch to find Snowballs videoing the whole event.

At this time of year the rice fields are an amazing spectacle in their own right with that almost florescent hue of green radiating across the countryside that seems unique to the rice crop. But for the rice to grow an awful amount of water is needed and that is exactly what we have been having for the past few weeks making the ground treacherously slippery, so great caution had to be observed at all times as we made our way around the field. Again I found myself at the back of the pack when I happened to look behind me to see HRA. He is not usually someone you find among the  rear runners. He informed me, as he passed, that he had had to answer a call of nature, so adding a little more fertilizer to the fertile countryside.

We carried on passing many rice fields squelching our way through a constant quagmire of mud. Also we seemed to be passing many cattle along the way, but there didn’t seem to be very much cow shit to be avoided on the trail which was very good. We finally got back onto  a firm asphalt road which took us back to the A bucket.

In this rainiest time of the rainy season the weather conditions for the run could only be described as perfect. Even in absentia our illustrious RA, Mr. Wao, once again came up with the goods. I wasn’t aware of any mushrooms collected which I find quite surprising given the fertile nature of the area we had been running in. In all I clocked up just over 5 km and it took me just over an hour. A very pleasurable run through a nice area, thanks guys.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke…

 

 

CSH3 Hash Trash # 1528

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Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

Hash Trash 1528

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                      Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman     Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec.–  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1529

With tropical storm Noul, a storm of potentially biblical proportions, raging havoc all around Vietnam, Laos and Thailand with many areas in the region experiencing severe flooding, landslides and all manner of climactic devastation. You could be forgiven for thinking that the likelihood of today’s run being a complete, absolute and utter washout, more or less, a certainty. How wrong you would be. As the run time approached none of the adverse weather conditions had manifested themselves over Chiang Mai. Although overcast, the only other evidence of this monster storm was a slight, misty and refreshing drizzle present in the air. These are conditions conducive and required for perfect hashing. So it’s once more ‘ a big hats off ‘ to our illustrious RA The Venerable Chuck Wao for orchestrating such favorable weather. I’m genuinely beginning to think, given his current record during his time in office, that he does possess some kind of divine control over the elements.

Today’s run was brought to us courtesy of Snowballs, making his haring debut on the CSH3. What were we going to be in for? Well, the first surprise was the location. The A bucket was at the entrance to the boy scout camp at the bottom of Doi Suthep. A place many of the long standing Chiang Mai hashers would remember as one of the favored areas for setting runs until we were banned from there some 15 years ago. But it was great to return to this beautiful location.

Around 25, or so, hashers assembled for the hare brief. Brief not necessarily the best description as it seemed to take about 10 minutes. But it did provide good entertainment with Snowballs, in his inimitable lugubrious tone, recounting the minutia of his trail setting experience. Notably, recalling the fact that he had had some guy following him collecting up his trail of paper.

We all set off into the luscious greenery of the forest. As we were close to the bottom of Doi Suthep it could be logically deduced that we were, from the start, going to ascend the mountain. But it would have been a wrong supposition as we  immediately were sent down a very steep trail towards the road only to be confounded by a false trail. Then we did an about turn and then the real uphill struggle started. The trail took us past an old dilapidated building where I could hear the smashing and cracking of tiles as the hashers ran over them. When I got to the other side of the building I could see the tiles were asbestos which if it were in any other country  would have triggered an almighty biohazard alert. But this is Thailand where every other building seems to have asbestos roof tiles.

We all endeavored up up and up the mountain with the usual puffing and panting and the odd profanity being uttered in regards to the precipitous nature of the trail. We came to a point where we had to cross a waterfall. It so nice to see these waterfalls, once again, cascading water as they have seemed to have been dry for so long. That being said, it does make them perilous to traverse. Running with Rat’s Arse and Hot Nipples we negotiated the slippery obstacle without mishap. We carried on the trail through the forest and were rewarded by some spectacular panoramic views of Chiang Mai.

We started to descend through the greenery down some pretty treacherous trails until we got to the bottom of the hill and all too soon back to the boy scout camp. Although I only clocked up 2.25 km and it took me under an hour it was a great run, set along good trails, spectacular views and a good workout being achieved. Going to prove all runs don’t need to mega marathons. Great effort and thanks for taking us back to the scout camp.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke…

CSH3 Hash Trash # 1527

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Chiangmai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

Hash Trash 1527

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                       Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman       Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec. –  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1528

The hares for today’s event were Turkish Delight and Just Cumming with the A bucket at Turkish’s eponymous triangle, an area populated by precipitous and rugged terrain, a couple of km off the canal road. The last Saturday run from this point was the one just before the cessation of hashing due to the lock down which was only 6 months ago, but it seems so much longer. There were two runs on the card for today, the long one starting at 4:30 and a shorter one commencing at the usual time. I arrived just after 4:30 fully intending to take the shorter option, but by the time I arrived everyone, with the exception of Superman and Superbitch, had already left. Today’s outing was A to B and B to A. I was given the option of just doing the B to A leg, but I decided to throw caution to the wind and do the full run. So far, this rainy season we have been lucky with few disruptions due to inclement weather and today was no exception.

I started off down a familiar dirt track passing a few lam yai plantations carrying on an undulating trail for about 1 km then coming to a circle check which took me on a dog leg right trajectory and the start of the ascent where I could see a few hashers in the distance, too far away to recognize anyone though. After about 10 minutes, I caught up with Purple Fart, Tip Toe and few of the foraging harriets. I could only see 2 mushrooms in Woolly Jumper’s bag.Then Sweet Pea presented me with my driving license. Which I’m sure you would consider a very bizarre occurrence. Allow me to explain. About 6 months ago I lost my wallet containing all my bank cards, driving license etc. Then a few weeks ago, I received a call from Sweet Pea telling me she had my driving license. It had been found by Chili Pussy  while on active hashing duty during  a Bunny Hash run. All very strange, but as I’m sure you all appreciate weird and wonderful Phenomena, far too common for sheer coincidence, can occur in Chiang Mai.

We all started up a steep incline with me following behind. I had just built up a good head of steam   when we came to an abrupt stop as Juicy Fruit and Microwave decided to embark on a photo shoot; after a lot of posing and copious amounts of Facebook fodder – or is it Instagram these days? – had been amassed we were allowed to carry on. It was at this point Snowballs seemed to appear from nowhere, not dissimilar to the white rabbit from Alice’s Adventures in wonderland, and going in completely the wrong direction. Then as mysteriously as he had appeared; he disappeared again and not to be seen  until the end of the run. I hope I didn’t imagine it.

We now reached the top of the mountain and carried on along the ridge for a few hundred meters and came to the Wimp Rambo split. I couldn’t persuade anyone to follow me on the Rambo trail, and if I had actually known how far it was going to be; I may have followed the wimp trail myself. Anyway, I followed the Rambo trail alone. The trail took me along a ridge at the top of the mountain for about 2 -3 km with some pretty spectacular panoramic views to enjoy from the high elevation and at one point through an area of annoying biting insects. Then I started, at first, a gradual descent which progressively became steeper and back into more of an inhabited area with a few houses and cultivated fields and the like. I carried on along a few muddy roads for 1 km or so down a slight ravine round a few small lakes up the other side and back to the road and the B bucket where Turkish was waiting. At this point, I was availed with 2 options. I could carry on the B to A trail which was another 5 km or I could have a lift back to the A bucket with Turkish. Having completed over 6 km which is a pretty long run by my standards, and suitably knackard. I decided to take the easy option. Back at the A bucket none of the FRBs   had  arrived back from the B to A leg. I think it was about 10 minutes before the first of them returned with Chuck Wao and Sloppy Rod leading the way. I clocked up about 6.5 km, if I had done the extended run it would have been about 11 km, and it took me an hour and a half. Excellent workout guys, great effort.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke…

 

 

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                          Chiangmai Saturday Hash House Harriers

                                 Drinking and Running since 1991

                                             Hash Trash # 1525

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                       Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman       Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec. –  Stumbling Dyke

 

Run 1526

Today’s run was courtesy of Superman and Bangkok. The location was just adjacent to Grand Canyon at an A bucket favored by Superman which he referred to  as ‘Superman’s Dog Leg’. With the sheer amount of hashes run in and around Chiangmai every year, it’s a given that we will use particular A buckets on a repeated basis. So I like the idea of of naming these sites. For example we have Turkey’s Triangle, the Hex Shelter and, of course, the HRA Shelter, to name but a few. It makes is so much easier when looking up the run location to have these points of reference  rather than  following, sometimes, ambiguous directions and inconspicuous signs, only to arrive at  a run site to  realise you have been there on numerous occasions before.

Around 30 regulars, I wasn’t aware of any visitors today, assembled for the hare brief. Mr. C Wao, our resident RA, graced us with favorable climactic conditions although there was a high level of humidity which, I suppose, is only to be expected at this time of year. We set off with the majority going in completely the wrong direction as Superman had made the A bucket the first circle check. This was very much to the consternation of Chuck Wao who vented his disapproval, in no uncertain terms, at this act of skulduggery on behalf of the hares. Having said that, Deep Throat told me, in confidence, that he and  a few of the FRBs had been ‘tipped the wink’ by sources unnamed – I think you can guess who – as to the correct direction to take. Allowing them to get off to a flying start.

Eventually, everyone was on the right course taking us into a wooded area, loose stones underfoot etc. the usual terrain. Then we started to ascend. Not a particularly steep incline, but with the fore mentioned humidity, I was soon drenched in sweat.

I’m a hasher who usually finds himself bringing up the rear of the pack, so you you are unlikely to to get any in depth technical dissection or  analysis of any run from these musings. They come, most definitely, from the perspective of someone at the tail end. That means, I usually find myself among the mushroom gatherers. I find it mind boggling how they detect these edible fungi. It’s as if they have some kind of inbuilt mushroom radar, Snail Trail and Tequila Slammer in particular. I could do that run 10 times and not spot any. Suffice it to say, today’s run provided them with an abundance of the little edible gnome houses.

As I was just about at the top, catching my breath. I looked  behind me and  saw someone, fair old, romping up the hill. It was Comes Anytime who had appropriately come late. She passed with a smile and proceeded at a rapid rate of knots putting me to shame,  having said that, she is less than half my age and body mass, for that matter. Oh, the exuberance of youth.

After reaching the top we were taken along a ridge for a while and then started our descent taking us through a kicked out circle check and onto a dirt road. I carried on a little further coming to another kicked out circle which I thought took us into another wooded area, but I had inadvertently stumbled across paper from another run. I wasn’t the only to be caught out by the old paper as I soon ran into Chatterbox, Sin Bin and Comes Anytime who were all looking perplexed and lost as they realised they were on the wrong trail too. Everything to me looked all too familiar and I knew exactly where we were, so I assured them I knew which way to go. But Sin Bin seriously questioned my judgement, he was to be put on ice later. On the other hand, Comes Anytime had every faith in me. We carried on for a few hundred meters and bumped into Square Rooter who was coming in on the trail we should have taken. The trail then soon took us to the OnIn and back to the A bucket.

For today’s outing, I clocked up just over 4 km and it took me just over an hour, another great run guys.

OnOn – Stumbling Dyke

 

CSH3 Hash Tash # 1524

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Chiangmai Saturday Hash House Harriers

                                 Drinking and Running since 1991

                                             Hash Trash # 1524

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                       Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman       Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec. –  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1525

Today’s run  once again took us South from the Samoerng and Canal Road junction. As many runs are set in this area and this reference point often used when giving directions. I think it deserves its own title. I suggest calling it Samcan. This being a portmanteau word taking the Sam from the first three letters of Samoerng and the can from the first three letters of canal. Also when said in the correct tone and given the right inflection, it roughly translates into the Thai word for important. Just a thought.

The hares for today’s escapade were Doesn’t Get It and Shagless. The A bucket was at Cloud 9. This is a place where I have a distant, totally bizarre, memory of a piano in the middle of a rice field. Whether this is a legitimate memory, or I dreamt it. I would have to have corroborative evidence on the matter. Doesn’t  Get It got on with the hare brief. The usual stuff, following strips of paper, circle checks etc. Then she made some kind of bodily gesture, which to be perfectly honest with you, I missed. But it was the source of a great mirth and merriment among those assembled also eliciting the odd jocular remark or two. From the veritable cornucopia of hashing terrain available in and around Chiangmai today’s run would be flat and taking us through a vast array of rice fields. With, at this time of year, the young rice plants exuding an amazing luminescent hue of green that is only seen in Asia.

Everyone now in high spirits set off along a tarmac road and after about 100 meters  coming to the first circle check. The usual suspects doing the checking-namely Chuck Wao, Just Cumming, Skid Mark and Cartoon  and the other circle guardians  taking up their positions waiting for the onon to be called. After a few minutes the trail was located bringing us past a lam yai processing plant which had some weird, Heath Robinson, looking machines outside. Frozen Dick informed us, they were used to make lam yai jelly which is exported to china. It’s amazing the things you can learn on a hash run.

Although today’s running terrain was void of inclines the ground was very uneven in places and often quite waterlogged. We were now heading for the rice fields, but first we had to negotiate a trail which dropped down 2 or 3 meters, or so, through herbaceous undergrowth which had formed a kind of tunnel. Before I entered  I could hear  shrieks and screams coming from Mary Poppins’ kids who, apparently, had been told by their mum not to get their shoes wet. At the other end was Skid Mark taking great delight in their predicament telling them repeatedly, ” it’s the hash, it’s the hash. This is what it’s all about”.

With the tunnel episode behind us, we  now found ourselves amidst  the rice fields being surrounded  by a pure sea of green with  the mountains in the distance interspersed by a plethora of wistful clouds. The scene  was quite spectacular, somewhat exemplifying an idyll of rural life in Northern Thailand. We carried on over an irrigation canal by means of a bridge far too substantial, safe and sensible for an area of this kind. It was my belief that any bridge, to be hashed across, in an environment such as this can only be constructed from no more than three dodgy bamboo poles. That’s my experience, anyway.

A little further on we came to the Wimp-Rambo split with Geisha Gash who was running in front of me taking the Wimp option as I embarked on the Rambo trail. I was now alone and ran along some nondescript trails and once again came to a tarmac road and it wasn’t long before I came to the very  welcome beer stop. The amber nectar was consumed, pleasantries were exchanged with the hares and I carried on. At this point I was about 1.5 km from the A bucket, but a load of black foreboding clouds had amassed overhead. There was no doubt about it; it was going to rain. Not an absolute deluge, but heavy rain ensued making the ground very muddy and slippery.

The trail now took me along some of the earthen walls of a rice field proving to be a pretty treacherous path to take and probably not doing the farmer any favors either. With the rice field traversed, I got back onto a decent hard surface. I thought now, being as wet as an otter’s pocket, I couldn’t be far from the OnIn only to be confronted with an arrow pointing into a wooded area. I followed the fore mentioned arrow to be led into an area that can only be described as a mosquito ridden, hell hole of a swamp and who knows what other natural fauna was present there, I’d rather not think about it. Also with the black clouds and time moving on it was getting quite dark at this point, so as you could imagine, I wasn’t in a place I particularly wanted to be in. I was very relieved to eventually get out of the swamp area and back on a firm surface. I crossed another irrigation canal and soon came to the OnIn and back to the A bucket.

The run was about 6 km it took me about an hour and twenty minutes. I didn’t hear about any mushrooms being gathered today. Perhaps Doesn’t Get it picked them all while she was setting the trail. Great scenery, great run guys. I look forward to your next one.

OnOn Stumbling Dyke

 

CSH3 Hash Trash # 1523

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Chiangmai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running since 1991

Hash Trash # 1523

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                       Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman       Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                               Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                          Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger           On Sec. –  Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1524

Today’s run marked the occasion of Sin Bin’s birthday. With He and Skid Mark taking up haring duties for a mini outstation, at Sleeps On Its place, out beyond Maijo. Sin Bin seems, to me anyway, to have been around for at least the past 15 years, but he is actually still only 12 years old. With that said, it has brought him a year closer to being able to partake and enjoy in the hash’s, good old, amber nectar – beer, that is.

Driving to the A site with the rain pelting down and certain areas experiencing severe flooding. My initial thought was this run was going to be a complete and utter washout. Oh, what little faith I have in our illustrious RA, C Wao esq., who  once again had managed to provide us all with the perfect running conditions. Neither too hot, nor too cold and with just a hint of cooling moisture in the air. More favorable running conditions couldn’t have been wished for.

Skid Mark proceeded with the hare brief. We were to encounter the usual sort of checks and following the usual strips of paper, but all the circle checks would have pictures of Sin Bin at various stages through his life up until now. There was even an antenatal depiction of him with a picture of a pregnant Snail Trail from all those years ago. About 30 hashers set off with one or two of them wearing rain wear, but I noticed they soon divested themselves of the fore mentioned apparel. As I iterated earlier, the climactic conditions for today’s run were extremely conducive to good hashing.

Having covered only about 50 meters, or so, we came to the Wimp – Rambo split. This proved to be a point of consternation for Square Rooter. He explained to me; he likes to have some time to cogitate and ruminate on making the decision on which trail to follow and having the option thrust upon him at such an early juncture in proceedings fazed him somewhat. Anyway for those of you who are interested, he opted for the Rambo trail.

A few hundred meters further on, I was passed by a few members of the younger contingent – namely Obscene, Sin Bin and a few others – sprinting as fast as their little legs would carry them, demonstrating the sheer exuberance of youth, and with a total disregard for the concept of conserving energy. This being a tenet we older hashers have to adhere to rigorously.

The area we were running in was generally flat with a few undulations, no big hills to negotiate, so not particularly difficult terrain to traverse although quite slippery due to the earlier rain. We ran through a few checks, up a slight incline where I was passed by Cartoon who commented on the injustice of having completed 3 checks, being correct on 2 occasions and wrong once and now he was at the back of the pack. The trail took us up another incline and into a wooded area where I noticed Tequila slammer had spotted some mushrooms and  was busily gathering them up and placing them into a plastic bag she had brought along  for such an eventuality.

We carried on down a small ravine where we came across Frozen Dick and Tip Toe. I incorrectly surmised that we had joined up with the Wimp trail, but this wasn’t the case. They seemed to be making up their own run as they went along. We carried on a little further and came to a lam yai plantation with each branch of every tree laden to breaking point with fruit. If anyone can think of a secondary use for these little packages of yumminess, they could make a fortune as there seems to be an inexhaustible supply of them at this time of year.

We carried on up a hill to the sound of barking dogs – not an uncommon occurrence, I hear you say – but as we got closer to the source of the emanating barking it was clear these weren’t the  yappy soi dogs we usually encounter on runs. But a couple of ferocious guard dogs salivating at the mouth, baying for blood and I’m sure ready to sink the teeth into any hasher who got to close. They were accompanied by the owner of the plantation who, to put it mildly, wasn’t too happy to have a load of hashers tramping across his land. I heard Snail Trail, ever the diplomat,  explaining and apologizing to him about what was going on. Personally, Myself and Deep Throat got out of the area as soon as we could.

Once we were thankfully clear of the plantation we found ourselves at a reasonably high elevation affording us with a panoramic view of the local area. We carried on through the usual type of hashing terrain for another couple of km when we came to the OnIn and then back to the A bucket. When I got back I inquired with Woolly Jumper and Superbitch on how many mushrooms had been found today. They replied that pickings on todays run had been pretty poor, so a bad day for the mushroom collectors.

I clocked up just over 6km for today’s run and it took me around an hour and twenty minutes. Great run guys, I thoroughly  enjoyed it.

OnOn –  Stumbling Dyke…

CSH3 Hash Trash # 1522

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Chiangmai Saturday Hash House Harriers

Drinking and Running Since 1991

Hash Trash # 1522

Grand Master – Skid Mark                                         Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit

Historian & Awards Master – Superman         Hash Cash – Titty Smoker

Joint Master – Just Cumming                                   Beer Monster – Deep Throat

Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao                            Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail

Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger             On-Sec. – Stumbling Dyke

Run # 1523

The location for today’s run took us 24 km East along the Sankampheng road and was brought to us courtesy of Bushy Tail and Just Cumming. First impressions of the A bucket was  the abundance of mountains in the area. Surely we would be ascending one of the fore mentioned pretty soon. Having said that, I think it’s worth noting. At this time of year with the rainy season providing us with an amazing lusciously green landscape, a crystal clear unpolluted sky,  burgeoning green shoots of vibrant young rice plants thriving in the fields and all surrounded by the majestic mountains of Sankampheng. It’s conditions such as these that truly epitomize the joy and wonderment of hashing in Chiangmai. I’m sure no hasher, worth their salt, would disagree with this observation.

Just over 30 hashers assembled for the hare brief and it was nice to see the use of cross checks had been restored for today’s run, I haven’t seen one of those in years. Bushy informed us that it was going to be a flat run. Could she be believed? only time would tell. Our illustrious RA, Mr Wao, had come up trumps with the weather once again, no nasty black clouds anywhere to be seen. We set off and I heard HRA calling to cumalot to join the rambo runners, but she didn’t take a blind bit of notice. We were immediately confronted with a  circle check, or it might have been a cross check. Anyway, this instigated the usual hypothesizing and pontificating by all and sundry most of whose opinions were totally  incorrect. Would you expect anything else? The trail was finally located and took us along a path through some elephant grass where I came across Captain Hook , an impassable  ditch and the loss of paper. Everyone dispersed in search of the trail when a shot was heard, probably a farmer shooting a pigeon or something.  But Sloppy Rod thought someone was taking aim at him although I didn’t see him dive for cover.

Eventually, the trail was found and  I bumped into Happy Ending who was whinging about the parsimonious distribution of paper  with only a few strands of the shredded stuff dotted here and there making the trail hard to follow. However, her whinging soon turned to a state of glee when she spotted a clump of about 10 or so mushrooms. She instinctively gathered them up and went happily on her way.

We carried on a little further, and I had noticed that we had been passing a great number of farm animals and in particular cows. It looked like dairy farming was quite common in this area. It’s a well known fact, dictated by the laws of nature, where ever you have a large amount of cattle, it naturally follows, there will be a high concentration of cow shit. We came across an innocuous looking flat area, looks can be deceptive, soon finding ourselves up to our ankles in fym ( farm yard manure). What methods Chuck Wao must have instigated to negotiate this quagmire, I’ll never know. He must have resorted to some pretty drastic measures. The only one coming to grief here, as far as I’m aware, was Turkish. We were all now in drastic need of some running water to run through to clean our shoes.

At this point in the proceedings, I was in my usual place in the pack. Towards the back in Square Rooter territory. However, we were still coming across FRBs -namely Turkish, Pussy whisperer and Deep Throat– who had been caught out by checks. This is a good sign as it shows that the pack are generally sticking together.

On we went, coming across a Buddha shrine with a long flight of steps. The perplexing thing here was that we hadn’t really gone up any hills, but we had to descend these steps. I always thought that one of the rules of haring states, Whenever you encounter a flight of steps on trail these steps must be ascended and not descended. That’s always been my experience, anyway. We carried on through some rice paddies along some leafy paths and eventually joined up with the trail we had set off from and back to the A bucket.

The run was just over 6 km, without checks, and took me around an hour and fifteen minutes. Great location, spectacular views – the hares didn’t even lie when they said the trail was flat. Great run guys, well done.

OnOn – Stumbling Dyke…