Chiang Mai Saturday Hash House Harriers
Drinking and Running Since 1991
Hash Trash 1532 Grand Master – Skid Mark Haberdasher – Juicy Fruit
Historian & Awards Master – Superman Hash Cash – Titty Smoker
Joint Master – Just Cumming Beer Monster – Deep Throat
Religious Advisor – Chuck Wao Hare Raiser – Bushy Tail
Deputy Beer Monster – Sheep Shagger On Sec.– Stumbling Dyke
Run # 1533
Some came by car, some by truck, some even paid the princely sum of 23 Baht and came by train, but I unfortunately chose motorcycle as my mode of transportation and subsequently got absolutely drenched thanks to a thunderstorm that persisted for about 90 % of the journey. This was the first outstation under Skid Mark’s GMship and the location was Lampang. My route took me passed the Elephant Conservation Center on the approach to Lampang, Whenever I pass this place I am always reminded of a Male Hash Outstation, some 20 years ago, and a hash circle we had nearby which turned out to be one of the most drunken circles I can ever remember. As I passed, I gave a short toot of the horn in deference to the historical significance of the site. I was one of the last to arrive at the resort as many of the usual suspects were already tucking into their cheese and wine.
The hares for the weekend were Frozen Dick and Chuck Wao who over the past week had been busily scouting and organizing the proceedings The A bucket for the Saturday run was about 6 km away from the resort, so we all got into the nearest available vehicle and drove to the A site. The first thing that became immediately apparent was that there were many stray dogs all along the road. It was if there had been a mass breakout from the local dog’s home because these dogs looked healthy specimens of the canine variety and not the usual skanky. mangy, forsaken creatures that are so abound in Thailand.
We arrived at the A site inside a wooded area beside a lake. Apparently the run was going to be similar to one set by them 5 years ago. I was at that outstation, but I can remember very little about the run. It all seemed like virgin territory to me. Frozen gave the hare brief, nothing of great note to be reported here.
During every run each of the participants has their own particular priority. There are, of course, the FRBs with their competitive racing. There are those concentrating on the collection of mushrooms and other edible flora. Then I was made aware of another, little known, sub-genre present in the pack; that of the RRBs – Rear Racing B@#$%!rds .Prior to today’s run I was approached by Square Rooter – normally a very mild mannered, affable, uncontroversial type of hasher who has been here for as long as I can remember and has often played the role of mediator and bridge builder. But today, he, in no uncertain terms, laid down the gauntlet to me : saying, in a menacing fashion, that he would finish before me and that I would be toast. I couldn’t believe my ears. The pressure was on me to perform. This goes to prove that there are so many different facets to hashing. Whatever happened, I was determined to finish in front of Square Rooter. This has now been made personal.
We set off into the forest along green and luscious trails after a couple of kms we started a gentle incline – it may have been gentle, but it went on and on proving to be a very energy sapping trudge. From time to time I seemed to hear the sound of cow bells. At the time I didn’t give this much thought, until I got to near the top to be confronted by a herd of startled cattle – that can only be described as – stampeding towards me. The safest place I could see in this situation was to dive behind a tree. This action proved to be a source of great entertainment to Snail Trail as later she would recount the incident; with me resorting to hugging a tree and found the whole affair hilarious. The cattle finally calmed down and I was able once more to carry on. I passed the herdsman who was quite happily getting on with his business smiling and oblivious to my near death experience.
We started to descend through the forest and came to a flight of very well constructed concrete steps that seemed to lead to nowhere in particular, but they were valuable aid to us descending through this jungle like terrain. At the bottom of the steps we got onto an equally well constructed concrete path. We carried on this for about 1 km leading us to a temple with a few of those previously mentioned dogs waiting for us. Once again we ventured forth and back into the forest and a change of paper color to bright orange which was much easier to see. At this time I was following silly Cow and had to protect her from some of the stray dogs. We carried on through ravines, up and down passing the odd beautiful lake – once again exemplifying the sheer beauty of hashing in Thailand. We eventually arrived back at the A bucket. The run was about 6 km and took me the best part of an hour and a half
The only point of concern was that Liberace had got stuck in a ravine or something, but a rescue party was dispatched and brought him back. Although, quite obviously, shaken by the experience he was uninjured and after a while he was soon back to his normal self. On a personal note I finished ahead of Square Rooter; not that it is a race.
The Sunday Hangover run started with a mad dash around Lampang looking for a place to buy beer as we had completely depleted our stock on the previous day. But where there is a wiil there’s a way, and I soon found a repository willing to sell us the amber hashing nectar. Chuk Wao gave the hare brief- the only thing I remember from that : was that we were to encounter an ob-star- cal ( obstacle ). Everyone set off with what can only be described as apathetic disinterest with no one even breaking into a trot. The run basically took us around the resort and through a moo ban where we came across the obstacle which was an eight foot concrete wall. Some people turned back but most surmounted the hindrance and back to the resort. THe run was about 1.75 kmand taking about 20 minutes.
The RA came up trumps with the weather which was perfect for all the time we were at the resort. A big thank you to both the hares for the time and effort they put into organizing this outstation as these events don’t happen without a lot of work and preparation. A very successful and enjoyable outstation. Thanks guys.
OnOn Stumbling Dyke …