Tag Archives: Humperdick

2nd October – CH4 – Junglicious

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Junglicious stepped up at short notice to set the run, and she lured Jungle Chim up from Lamphun to help her – it was great to see him back, and hopefully he’ll join us for a few runs every now and then! At HTT, my expectation scale was all over the place – with no sign at the bridge, I was panicking that there wasn’t a run set yet – but when I found signs inside the gate, I was interested to see what they had in store.

The A-bucket, at the side of the lake immediately limited our out trail, and when we set off we were along the lake and over the dam wall. A couple of ‘non-checks’ slowed us down until we got to the first circle the other side of the lake. Knowing the trails well, I set off to the left, and Chuckie followed mumbling about how he would check another way sooner or later…. Not long after we were on trail – we found out later we weren’t supposed to be on that trail. Not long after and there was a circle check, and I followed the trail along the bottom of the mountain (yes I had inside information from Frozen Dick). I was on, and called “OnOn” about the same time CW did… Huh? Had we screwed up? CW was on, but I was definitely ON – it was the right distance, and there was no other way to get here…. I am off wondering if the pack was following me or CW…

Along the base of the mountain to the junction that I just love putting circle checks at. So many options, and NO CHECK! Huh? The trail went straight on, but a quick glance to the left had a bit of paper in the distance… – Did I have time to get there, and around the corner before the pack caught me? With Brown Finger and Pigshit on the hunt, I had no chance… Damn it! They sorted the false trail out without running it out, and caught me up before I got up to the road. We are in to serious hash running season now boys.

Then the checks were all turning left… wtf? We were heading straight back to the A! It can’t be this way, so I started looking off to the right, with no luck. It was straight back to the A. Chuckie called OnIn, and we regrouped to run in… 3km, 20 minutes… Something had gone badly wrong!!!

Browny, Piggy and Tasty were straight off out to do another lap. Chucky was feigning a hangover. I was consulting the hares and figuring out what we’d done wrong. It became clear we could drive around the lake, and still take on the rest of the run. Poo was up for it, and reluctantly Humperdick also came along. Then we had fun! 3 hounds working together. The trail went another 3k along the side of the lake, and back along the aqueduct (fuck it, I spell it aquaduct) system. The last check on our extra bit, there were 2 choices, and me and Poo were wrong – but as both trails rejoined we didn’t go back… On a technicality Humps was the only guy to do the whole trail, so he absolutely deserved the wings.

With hindsight the trail was a great set, but with hashers you have to expect them to fuck up!

27th Sept – CSH4 – Knock Out

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I got a phone call before getting to the runsite to say they’d run out of signs, so if I got there first I might want to put some signs up… – if only I knew where we were going! Way down the river, so far that Turkish & Chuckie got lost and gave up, while Rin, Stuart, Belly and Anything got lost and were late. Those of us that did make it to the start were ready for Skiddy’s farewell hash. Skiddy will be seriously missed from the Chiang Mai hash community – a complete hasher who does more than his share of setting, organising and making sure the hash works throughout the year. Lets hope todays run will be a fitting tribute to him!

A flat run, in the orchards – surely there would be some water crossings? Brownie and I set off at the start with him promising me that I could have first pick at the first check. It wasn’t really a surprise that the check was skiddy sticks, so gee thanks – I got them… It wasn’t a surprise, but ALL the checks were skiddy sticks… The checks worked really well, and we were zig zagging, criss crossing, all over the place trying to figure out the route. With trails all over the place, it was tempting to start looking for true trail before the sticks were found, but who knew when the false trail would be reached?

The trail was pretty similar to one we’d done before by KO, so some parts were a bit predictable, but the checks were so hard! A normal circle check gives us a radius of 100m in a circle – i.e. an area of 31415.93 square metres to search for paper – bloody hell that is a lot! However, if the trail can be 100m back along the trail and 100m of either side, we add a 20000 square metre area – i.e. Skiddy checks like this changed the search area from 31416 square metres to 51416 square metres – at times we might have had more luck finding MH370.

Running along we were often wondering if we’d missed a check, or missed some paper – a good mental exercise. The checks were keeping us well together, nobody getting any advantages. Finally we got to a check that really foxed us. With hindsight, we were searching too far back from the sticks. I went the most obvious way, and had gone 100m and back, but nobody had found paper. Humps asked if I’d really checked it, so I went back and went further. No calls, so I kept going, and finally got out on a road. Paper Everywhere!!! It was going left, right, straight, all over the place! BUT, it was clear that I hadn’t found the trail the way the hares intended…. Still no calls from the pack… I went back and forth along the road trying to figure out what we were supposed to be doing, or where the paper was supposed to have come from… Still no calls.. I could see Piggy on the other side of a field, so called over to ask for help with the mystery. He headed in my direction bringing much of the pack, as we all short cut around 3km off the full run.

Not far around the corner it was the OnIn… Excellent checks that did a great job of keeping the pack running around like confused lemmings. Confused lemmings that like jogging along hunched down to avoid the tree branches.

25th September – CH4 – Adorable Blue Balls

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“Adorable”? Abominable! The guy’s from Bangkok, never seen a hill before, and wants to use it all in one go?! 😮 We have a new hasher that’s read the Square Rooter book of haring – he probably has a signed copy! And I guess he doesn’t like his new hashing community? >240m elevation gain – the first haring is breaking records!!!

The runsite was new – we’d run there before, but not from that exact spot – I actually thought it would be easier, but it did take me some time to get my head around the exact position I was in… We set off in the direction of the Fire Prevention Centre, and Junglicious and I headed the group with Brownie itching to get running behind us. He’s at a different pace and was clearly frustrated on the narrow trail climbing the hill “can’t we run on this?”. I thought better of it, but he nipped past, only to fall on his face moments later. At last a check. Brownie set off up the hill. Chuckie and I discussed how there was nothing up there – down to the left was more likely… Some ‘spore’ also suggested to the left, so we gave up the high ground, and promptly found plastic rope scouting markings. Lets let BF go a bit higher before we let him know….

ON ON, and back to a familiar hill / ridgeline. Like a 2nd home to Chuckie, he started attacking it. My mood improved when Junglicious past, but I could only follow her for a bit as the pack stretched out up, up, up. Given the way we started, it had to be arcing to the left, so perhaps I could take off some of the hill, so I broke off to the left. I didn’t realise Taste My Buns was behind me, as she chased me into the bushes – retracting quickly when she realised I was attempting a short cut. Attempting, and failing… I’d not been in quite that area before, and for good reason – there was no way through. I had the choice of hacking a way down and out, or up and back to the trail. Reluctantly I chose up, and climbed to where Mr. Poo and Knock Out were.

I looked for every opportunity to cut off to the left, but there wasn’t. When I did come to a check, it was straight on, and paper visible from the check. Finally the “top” was where we intersected a trail and cut back down to the left. The trail would have been alright without the rain, but I was forced to walk for fear of twisting something, and I was quickly dropped from the back. We were heading towards the Ag Center, and I felt the lure of the nice flat trails at the bottom of the mountain. I met Humps, KO and Poo when the trail abruptly turned left, but I opted to head down and after walking up and down hill for so long, finally go for a run at the Ag Centre.

Memorable certainly! Adorable, perhaps not! 😉 I hate the hills!

21st August – CH4 – Struggles to Cum

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Struggles to Cum teamed with Can’t Keep (It) Up for a run from their house in the valley behind Doi Kham. Virgin hares… What would we have to deal with? I arrived early following the freshly printed signs to a nice coffee shop. CK(I)U was taking out the trash, while STC was apparently finishing the trail. A weeks worth of work had been laid out before us in the hills and he did a good job of confusing hare banter – was he lying or not? Barbed wire, Bear traps…???

Finally STC got back and embarked on the worlds longest hare brief filling up the time before we were off. “Only Circle Checks”. Out the gate and along the road, finally I found some small bits of paper clipped to a bush and we were off. A circle check, and I ducked into a little lane. I didn’t see the paper straight away, but there it was heading over a creek bed and towards the hills. Humps was just behind as we started climbing, but his voice was replaced by Pigshits as we did a little loop. I got to each check first – picked which way to go, and managed to find the paper as Piggy got to the circle behind me. This was going well – A little loop and I didn’t spot the trail off to the right straight away, so Piggy caught me as we went back down next to where we’d been before – of course Mr. Poo and Humps led the rest of the pack straight across to us.

Another check, and only one obvious trail, so I led the way climbing up the hill. Getting steep, we were approaching the main trail where there was bound to be a tricky check. I eased up and Piggy joined me to discuss which way it might be… He opted for up the hill, I picked straight on. Again I was right, and voices quickly faded behind me. A couple more checks and I was cutting down the side of the waterfall. A circle check by the river, and sure enough the trail carried on the otherside. No voices behind – I was clean clear as I tried to out think the hares. I mapped out the rest of the run in my mind and sure enough, I was right. When I came across Can’t Keep (It) Up as he fixed the trail up, his face was a picture! He started panicking about whether the run was long enough…

Don’t worry it was fine – a great run – not often you get 100% of the checks right – sorry guys, I couldn’t kick them out for you…

31st July – CH4 – Cumalot

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Whoa!!!! Square Rooter would have loved this one! We set off from the back of the Ag Centre, and from there, there was only one way to go… – Up!

I set off along the familiar trail behind the wall, and knowing where the first check would be pondered whether to go right into the orchard, or left into the trees. Meanwhile Humps was noticing how HRA had pruned the bamboo trees for us – but only to his head height. I chose left, and was correct. Next junction, I chose right and wasn’t correct. I made it back to the trail in time to see Cabbage Patch take a dive in front of me. We reached the bottom of the hills.

Scrambling around the side of it, Skiddy was leading and we got to a check. Steep up to the left, steep down to the right. Nobody wanted to go right so Taste My Buns looked at Skiddy going up, Chuckie meandered off straight on. I bravely went for the downhill option. When I found the paper, I couldn’t have been happier! It was shortlived though as after a short descent the trail went up, up, up… We probably reached the height of Doi Suthep temple. A relentless slog of climbing with limited checks to entertain us – just enough to keep Chuckie just behind me, and Piggy just a bit further back. The pack was stretching out across the hill. Brutal, brutal, brutal – for a Thursday happy hash as well!

Finally a check, and we broke off down to the right, plummeting off the side of the mountain down a steep trail. A bit lower, a check had me thwarted – I had hoped the hares had shown some more imagination than a straight up and down, but nope, Chuckie called from the trail that headed straight back down. I faintly caught sight of him in the distance at one point, but he and Piggy raced their way On In. Phew… I guess we’ll all be fitter after we recover from that one!

14th July – CH3 – Sloppy Rod

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Feeling a bit jetlagged & hungover today, so quite lazy to go hashing, but it was Sloppy Rod, and he is normally a good hare, so I made the effort. Incredibly detailed instructions took us to the reservoir just past the Tiger’s Head, and I was immediately looking forward to the run. Starting from half way along the lake, we had to be hitting the great flat trails at the end of the lake.

Sure enough, once we’d moved vehicles & beer around in circles, we had a hare brief and set off. I set off at a jog, and got a couple of checks right, with calls fading away behind me. Excellent running trails and I stretched out. We dipped off the main trail to follow a creek bed for a bit, but soon climbed back out onto the trail – I should have just stayed on the trail – no one would have known!

Finally we hit a circle, and I was torn – it seemed to be about the right time to turn and I had a feeling we could head back to the right without intercepting trails. So why didn’t I check that way? Instead I continued forwards looping around to the left and finally getting back to the circle as Pigshit arrived with Chuckie. So much for the lead – especially as Piggy picked the last option and got away from me. The late arriving HRA stood at the circle screaming at people as he didn’t seem to realise he had caught up already.

Then I started going backwards through the pack, tired and unfit Chuckie, Piggy, Turkey & HRA took off ahead of me, while Skiddy fell in behind. We sped up when we found Humperdick pruning a bamboo tree in the middle of the trail. He was going backwards for some reason.

Excellent trails throughout, and well marked – cheers hare! Wish I had my GPS so I could look at the route in more detail for future reference!

12th July – CSH3 – Push Back

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Push Back & Tasty Buns joined together to set their virgin harings and after 2 weeks in UK I was missing the hash and looking forward to a good one! Unfortunately, Chuckie side tracked me with “Coffee” last night, and when jetlag kicked in, I nearly overslept and missed it! Fortunately, I made it out to 11km or so down canal road to see what they had in mind…

A teutonically detailed harebrief set us off with Humps guffawing while Turkey went the wrong way out of the carpark. The first check had us guessing, and everyone guessing wrong. The hares kindly came to point us in the right direction and for a while we were back on track weaving our way through an orchard. A circle check, and we made the first of our mistakes, with trail being found higher up the road, only for us to get to a cross check from the wrong direction. After finding the false trails we promptly found ourselves back at the previous circle check with the hares waving frantically at us. So far we had run quite a bit of the run backwards, but got back on track quickly enough.

I couldn’t get anything right, and the hangover was hampering my effort. More circles, and more confusion. After a circle, we seemed to go cross country for over 100m until we got to the paper that someone was calling from up ahead. It can’t be right, but I was hot and tired. Humps bellowed that we should go back, while the rest of the pack called On On from down the hill. Neither call made much sense in the grand scheme of the run, so Chuckie and I set off in a completely different direction, with Big Top tagging along. Some people call it “Intelligent Hashing”, whatever – we intercepted the trail shortly before the final V check.

NOYB was up front, and looking fit as a fiddle (is a fiddle really fit?). Anyway, I was relieved when he went the wrong way at the last check (even though it had been kicked out), and I jogged along with CW back to the A where somehow Bow Wow and Muskrat were already waiting! Hard to accuse them of short cutting when I think everybody had their own version of the run. Pretty sure that nobody did the run as intended, but it worked very well anyway – 45 minutes! Loaves of bread greeted us next to the wine at the finish.

Humps kicked off the circle, and things were going smoothly until an unexpected storm hit and washed us away. I justifiably got the wings for my 200th run :) from the safety of my car! Then it was off to a great restaurant for dinner. I think we should get Tasty Buns to set the run more often – this was great!

19th June – CH4 – Pigshit

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A low turn out for Piggy’s run out in Maejo. With other runs out of town coming up, and much of the hash community overseas it probably wasn’t a surprise to only have me, Chuckie, Humps, I Got Gas, Square Rooter and Tip Toe there for the run. Tip Toe thought better of it and promptly turned back, while the rest of us went to see what Piggy had put together for us.

Across the concrete to the trail the other side, and we could have put the first circle there ourselves. First there so I got the pick and went left – if it was right then he knows there is a nicer trail to use to get there, so why go across the concrete thing? I was pretty confident, until I found old paper and shortly after heard the On Call from the opposite direction. Chuckie and I turned about face and caught up at the next check.

Rather than using all the lovely trails around Maejo, Piggy decided to cut cross country hacking our way through the shiggy. Back on trail and he was putting checks every 1 or 2 junctions. Square Checks replaced circles and the lead rotated between myself, Chuckie, Humps and IGG. You could feel hump’s joy when he got the trail at the top of a steep incline, and it took me a while to get back on track.

Finally we got to a V check, where both CW and I thought it had to be left – he took the dummy trail to the right, while I walked along to let him catch up after he hit the check back. Unfortunately it was me that hit the check back, and was left to run the last 1.5k or so on my own behind CW, including a good km along the road after the OnIn.

After the run we moved the circle to IGG’s place, away from the mosquitoes, with the pool, pagoda for the circle and then upstairs for chicken dinner – cheers IGG!

29th May – CH4 – Itchy Bitchy

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I thought it was Itchy and Sleeps on It, but in the end it was just itchy, from a familiar runsite – the 400th CH4 if I’m not mistaken (well, one of the 400th runs). I have fond memories of the last run that Itchy set from there, where I had the ‘perfect’ hash. What would happen today? Humps set the early pace, and at an early circle check, I went right, while Chuckie went left. Finally after an eternity Humps called from straight on where he and Pigshit were checking – the paper was a long way after the circle, and I spent some time weaving my way through the walkers and back markers, finally getting towards the front in time to hear Piggy calling OnOn from the next check.

What was Piggy on? Whatever it is, I need some of it! He was on absolute fire, nailing check after check after check, leaving us trailing out behind him. It was up a steepish hill, so Chuckie got an advantage, leaving Poo and I to scramble up behind. We could barely hear them ahead of us, until all of a sudden they were on the next ridge over! Piggy and Chuckie had broken away so it would be a long hard chase. I tried to settle into a rhythm keeping up a reasonable pace (6-6:30 per km), and the beautiful trails and views made the going easy. At one point I heard a call from down to my left, but it was just from a dogleg in the trail, and that was the last I heard from the breakaway, or from behind either.

The checks were kicked out, and trail easy to follow, until I got to an unbroken check. What to do? Nothing from ahead, nothing from behind – clearly it was the most obvious route, so I continued on and sure enough found trail. At the next check, I moved some of the paper to let Poo know which way I’d gone (and not come back from). So it was for a few checks – perhaps the breakaway thought we’d like the challenge of checking, but each time I guessed right first time (just like them). Finally a check that was kicked out, and around the corner an OnIn. A great trail by Itchy, and excellent running from Piggy and Chuckie – it was as though Brownie was still here!

16th March – CH4 – Chuck Wao

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Finally a Chuckie run on a Sunday – again it was described as ‘serviceable’. We were just north of the 700 year stadium at a moobaan favoured by Horny Monkey – familiar trails, but perhaps a different take on it?

I set off with Brownie, and were back along the road I’d just driven in along the canal. Strange – I’m pretty sure this doesn’t go anywhere, and no sooner had I figured it out, as we ran straight into a back check. Not the best of starts – we turned and followed Humperdick along the road that takes us towards the hills – even though we were close to the hills, we couldn’t exactly see them because of the pollution.

The trail headed off to the left – Horny Monkey and I eyed the trail briefly before deciding it would be a dead end, carrying on to find true trail moments before Humperdick found the false one. A few circle checks had us tied up in knots around the lake behind the stadium, and then we were on some nice trails. Construction work is tearing up part of the hillside, so it was a little unfamiliar. We scrambled down a steep drop, only to have to climb up the otherside. After a circle check there was more climbing, with None of Your Business scampering ahead. When a nice looking path headed off to the right, I yet again dodged a false trail, and in no time we were down onto the trail that runs along the bottom of the hill.

Everybody guessed to the right, to head back to home, but it just felt a little too soon, so on my own I checked along to the left. With no calls from behind me, I checked harder, and I was on! The trail headed up to a waterfall – definitely not going to be that way at this point – another false trail dodged. We knew we had to head into the rice fields, and I was lucky to get the right route in. Across the fields to the moobaan, and the hare had found a neat way of bypassing it, taking us back out onto the canal road to come in.

While the run had started precisely on time, and the FRB (me) was in in almost exactly 45 minutes, the circle was someone on the tardy side getting started, so the hash cash feared we’d go bankrupt.