Tag Archives: Pig Shit

1st October – CSH3 – ABB & Angry Inch

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Maejo again – fantastic! We gathered near the Tiger’s Head, ready to see what ABB had in store. We set off, with Turkish energetically leading the way, and then trailing off a bit. I got to the first V check, and it was a complete 50/50 choice – I gambled left, and the trail continued, while TMB must have hit a check back – I heard Piggy calling OnOn in my direction, so kept on. Next up a circle… The cause of huge confusion!

The check wasn’t at a junction – just in a waterbed gully. So I continued straight, while behind Chuckie and Turkey lingered by the check – there had been a trail off to the right about 50m before the check, but they didn’t seem keen to go back. I spotted a strip of paper ahead of me, but it “didn’t seem right”… Normally after a check the paper is hidden to some extent on the side of a tree, so you need to go 100m before you find it – this seemed to find the most obvious tree and make it stand out. I didn’t call, but went over to investigate. Obscene, running up behind had no fear and he squealed ONON from 40m away, pulling the pack towards me. The strip of paper was at a mainer trail and I saw paper to the left, heading down the hill, until a circle check hidden on the back of a tree. I checked forwards until it was called back up the hill with Piggy tearing in half the very strip of paper I’d seen before to try to indicate we should turn right there. In reality we were completely wrong! Back up the hill, we were running backwards on trail, and found another circle that took forever to figure out.

Poo and I did another loop and got back to the same spot, finally figuring out what we’d done wrong, as we heard Piggy call us on. I ran down to Piggy and he was just stood in the jungle on his own calling “ONON” as loud as he could! Bellowing in the hope of bringing the pack back – a hash hero today! Ahead of him Sex Pistol was the only one who’d figured out what had happened sooner and was blazing a trail. Behind Poo and Turkish at least found their way, while the rest of the pack were somewhat slower rejoining the trail. Lucky the FUCK UP was so early on, that only HRA bailed out and gave up!

There was immense glee in Sex Pistol’s voice when she called ONON off a check, leading the FRBS. We set off to chase her down, and finally when we crossed the road, I hit the front, but the pack was spread out massively. Sex Pistol got caught out by the deadend behind the shelter we used last week, and instead we crossed the weir at the usual place. Piggy nearly catching me, but then reluctantly (heroically?) checking the option to the right. I pressed on, but of course promptly got the next V check wrong. I was still ahead, but Poo was breathing down my neck and when I paused for a moment unsure of whether we were on paper, he pounced and darted ahead. Enjoy it while you can, as shortly after he hit a circle check, but didn’t even see it. When I passed the trail to the right, I suspected another circle was coming, and so promptly ran back and slotted in with CW behind TMB as somehow they had caught up from the early misadventure! This was fun!!!

Another couple of checks and a final V check. TMB picked left – that is the obvious way, it heads towards the Tiger’s Head, so I commented to CW that she was probably right. I do apologise CW, I had her on a 10% chance… I checked straight towards the great trail that cuts over the hill, but bizarrely TMB called “ONON”. WTF?! How can she know? CW was confused but took off after her, while Turkish paused as well. I called “Checking” around the corner, over the gully and to the OnIn.

What an interesting run!!! The trails were 100% great! It was a great route, all on great running / hashing trails. I have no complaints at all. Checks are supposed to fuck us over, and boy some of these checks fucked us over, and some got fucked over more than overs, and in ways that the hares never imagined… but who cares? Great run, thanks hares!

2nd October – CH4 – Junglicious

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Junglicious stepped up at short notice to set the run, and she lured Jungle Chim up from Lamphun to help her – it was great to see him back, and hopefully he’ll join us for a few runs every now and then! At HTT, my expectation scale was all over the place – with no sign at the bridge, I was panicking that there wasn’t a run set yet – but when I found signs inside the gate, I was interested to see what they had in store.

The A-bucket, at the side of the lake immediately limited our out trail, and when we set off we were along the lake and over the dam wall. A couple of ‘non-checks’ slowed us down until we got to the first circle the other side of the lake. Knowing the trails well, I set off to the left, and Chuckie followed mumbling about how he would check another way sooner or later…. Not long after we were on trail – we found out later we weren’t supposed to be on that trail. Not long after and there was a circle check, and I followed the trail along the bottom of the mountain (yes I had inside information from Frozen Dick). I was on, and called “OnOn” about the same time CW did… Huh? Had we screwed up? CW was on, but I was definitely ON – it was the right distance, and there was no other way to get here…. I am off wondering if the pack was following me or CW…

Along the base of the mountain to the junction that I just love putting circle checks at. So many options, and NO CHECK! Huh? The trail went straight on, but a quick glance to the left had a bit of paper in the distance… – Did I have time to get there, and around the corner before the pack caught me? With Brown Finger and Pigshit on the hunt, I had no chance… Damn it! They sorted the false trail out without running it out, and caught me up before I got up to the road. We are in to serious hash running season now boys.

Then the checks were all turning left… wtf? We were heading straight back to the A! It can’t be this way, so I started looking off to the right, with no luck. It was straight back to the A. Chuckie called OnIn, and we regrouped to run in… 3km, 20 minutes… Something had gone badly wrong!!!

Browny, Piggy and Tasty were straight off out to do another lap. Chucky was feigning a hangover. I was consulting the hares and figuring out what we’d done wrong. It became clear we could drive around the lake, and still take on the rest of the run. Poo was up for it, and reluctantly Humperdick also came along. Then we had fun! 3 hounds working together. The trail went another 3k along the side of the lake, and back along the aqueduct (fuck it, I spell it aquaduct) system. The last check on our extra bit, there were 2 choices, and me and Poo were wrong – but as both trails rejoined we didn’t go back… On a technicality Humps was the only guy to do the whole trail, so he absolutely deserved the wings.

With hindsight the trail was a great set, but with hashers you have to expect them to fuck up!

28th July – CH3 – Ting Tong

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With Skiddy the co hare, and the location being flat Lamyai country to the south of the city, what did we have in store? The first clues came on facebook, where Skiddy announced he had lost yet another phone, and that Ting Tong really was ting tong. Ominous signs!

I wasn’t feeling too good, but I dragged myself to the run site, and with hare brief telling us it would be ‘fun’ with a special surprise for us, we were off (hoping the surprise would be a beer stop!). Turkey led the way through some horrible shiggy, where we just picked our way avoiding the brambles, out onto a little road. Circle check and we split up. When Turkey does call On On he calls with such joy in his voice and we ran over to him to endure some more shiggy. Another check, and we finally broke out onto a wide area of freshly raised land – where the trucks come and dump mud to raise the land above the flood plain – mud is only flattened a bit, so when it gets wet (which it had), it turns into a sludgy pit. Feet were already getting encased in mud. The flood lake to the left we again followed Turkey to the end of the lake, and when he called circle check, we could already see the paper leading us around the other side of the lake – yet more gooey, sludgy, mud to struggle through.

In many ways I get an advantage, paying less attention to the state of my feet that say Chuckie does, so I emerged from the pit of slime just ahead of Turkey. Next circle and he followed me down to check at the road. That was the last I saw of him… I turned back and well, there was a bridge, so we’d probably be using it?! Sure we would! The next section weaved its way through some farms and crossed a road to a circle check at the edge of a rice field. A few steps to the right, and I spotted something white to the left of the rice field – closer investigation and I was on, along the edge. Another circle, with limited options, but to go to the road ahead. More farm, and more roads to cross… Some how I was managing to stay a bit ahead of Pigshit, and Chuckie just a bit further behind.

Finally got to another road, with a circle check. I was slightly torn, but went straight over again, with Piggy right on my tail. He muttered something about making sure I called it as he reluctantly checked another way. I ran it out, and sure enough called at the end when I turned the corner straight into a flooded, muddy field. This would slow them down a bit?! I ran through calling On. Finally some solid ground on a burr, and I could turn and watch Chuckie gingerly pick his way through, while Piggy ploughed on like a kid playing in waves at the beach. One last check, and there was something white flickering across the field. My luck was in, and as I emerged onto the road, I could see the restaurant just along to the right.

So focused on the restaurant, I took the long way around, and missed the shorter route through the gardens. Sadly Piggy didn’t miss it, and sprinted ahead of me calling On In. Nice going.

26th July – CSH3 – Pigshit

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Pigshit picked another runsite in Maejo – heading towards the Tiger’s Head, but off into a soi on the left. A nice find – I’ve not run from there before, but I had a feeling we’d be crossing over trails that I have run before…

Hare brief over and we were off, and I was quick to get the first check wrong. Back on track and we were weaving left and right, back and forth. A short cutter’s delight! I wasn’t short cutting at that point, but spotted plenty of opportunities. Turkish on the other hand wasn’t going to let a good opportunity to short cut go to waste and promptly appeared ahead of Sloppy. Sloppy’s curses were as loud as his OnOn calls as we finally headed into familiar trails – Until halfway the hare had done a great job of finding some new little loops.

We headed over a little hill and got down to the square lake that I’ve used as an A site a few times. No check – interesting? But Turkey started calling circle check from along one side. Either he was going around the lake, or he was cutting back – I checked over the dam, and could see paper ahead at the other side of the lake. Excellent! But before I could get to it, Turkey was calling On On from the other side of the lake. I investigated the paper, and saw it cut down the side of the hill, and across a field back to the road. Again a short cutter’s paradise. I was ahead, but proceeded to get the next check very badly wrong, and was soon behind Cougar and Crap Thai. Who knows who managed to NOT short cut? Nice run though!

19th May – CH3 – Pigshit

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Piggy with another run up in Maejo. As I got to the runsite just before the run start there was nobody there. Seems the traffic at the 2nd ring road caught everyone out, but most people arrived with a few setting off a little late. The first check took us to the left before a cross country scramble up to the abandoned village with roads, but no houses. The trail took us diagonally across it before ducking down onto the canal road. I was getting things right until there, and at that point from looking at my map, I was VERY close to tangling with the intrail – had I gone gone slightly different I would certainly have found some paper, but fortunately it was called in the other direction.

Perhaps Piggy thought we would get bored of the lovely running trails in the area, so instead he dragged us along a creak, cross country through shiggy. Finally we got through to some more trails and the lead was rotating between Poo, Chuckie, Lumber Jack Off, I Got Gas and I. And with a testing check finally Turkish caught up. I was clearly disoriented as I kept turning left when we should be turning right, but the checks were good enough that we kept getting back together.

Poo nailed one check, but didn’t realise for quite a way, leaving us well behind, only for him to run off paper, and come running all the way back to where we were parallel to him a few yards to the left. (This was Piggy’s strategy for not intersecting the trails as I mentioned earlier. From there it was straight on back, although I’m not 100% sure we went the way Piggy intended us to…

9th March – CH4 – Graven Image & Brown Finger

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Graven decided to set a live hare run, and to decrease the chance of being caught he signed up Brown Finger as a co-hare. He also brought in Pig Shit as a co-co-hare, although the latter denied any knowledge of the route and would run with the pack. It turned out later that the hares also seemed to have no knowledge of the route and got themselves lost.

Brown Finger had already disappeared, but after 5 minutes headstart we set off after Graven. At the end of the road, I turned left, and went about 150m before finding the trail – sneaky hares! The trail abruptly turned left towards where I knew there was a lake – it was suspicious, but I figured I’d play the game and duly went to collect the spare paper at the False Trail.

Clearly the hares can’t read Thai, as they took us straight through a gate that stated ห้ามเข้า. No choice but to carry on. Into the woods, there was a circle check in the middle of nowhere, only trees, no trail, but from memory I knew there was a wider trail straight ahead, so I ploughed on through a bit more than the 100m. When I got to the trail, I checked down to the left, and then as hashers were calling I went back up to the right, and sure enough the paper emerged from the trees and headed on up the hill.

A single trail heading up, with occasional circle checks off to the side – each just returning to the main trail up up up up. And at the top was the “BN”. I was on my own, nobody around – would I get to drink all the beer? First I had to find the beer – and just past the BN was a circle check… Huh? Where was the beer? Oh, there was a somewhat obvious bag right next to the BN and in it the Tiger juice. I had some time to wait for the rest, so I figured out where the circle check was going back to, and kept yelling for them to follow me up the hill.

Finally Poo showed up. When Square Rooter got there, he ignored the beer, and headed off in the wrong direction – let them go! Back again, and we headed down the hill on a different trail. When we got to the road at the bottom, a circle check had been replaced with a Wimp Rambo split – no mention of that in the hare brief! The Rambo took us back to the ห้ามเข้า gate, where the hares had put even more paper over the poor family’s yard. A bit further on, and a circle check was suspiciously next to a ant infested log bridge, that I straddled my way over with Poo following, only for trail to be found in a different direction. We were back in the forest on the old trail, and as Chuckie led the pack back up the hill, I thought better of it, and finally None of Your Business found arrows and trail back through the trees again. He took off like a whippet, and we were soon back to the Wimp Rambo split – only this time it was just an arrow heading up back in. Confused? We all were! Especially the co-co-hare Pig Shit who led Dead Virgin all the way back up the hill and finally limped in in the dark.

It seems the hares had screwed up from the start and spent all the time trying to fix their mistakes. None of Your Business celebrated at the On-In his victory!