Tag Archives: Crap Thai

8th December – CH4 – Square Rooter

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Rooter’s birthday adventure, and boy did he put some effort into it! We’ve run from that runsite a bunch of times, and I was fairly confident I knew all the trails around – Rooter proved me wrong several times! He was a generous hare, today offering us multiple wimp trails and a hare brief that was long enough that I could arrive late, get changed and still get out with the pack.

We set off, with Kwazi running ahead, but not even getting to a check before refusing to move another inch until someone found trail. We did, and Brownie was off… Do we need to run? Already? Damnit! A circle, and I didn’t want to check left, but it was my obligation, so I idled along, and when I did find the powder, just ahead was Brownie and 3.5inch, cutting onto trail. We were back to the road we’d driven in on, and most wanted to go right. I went left, and around the corner found powder, another circle and then up the hill a bit, more powder and Dyke Converter blaring music while he lugged around bags of mud. Random!

An excellent check followed. We were all over the place searching! Music to entertain us! I went up the hill, and back… I could see Taste My Buns being very thorough down the hill to the right. Finally I headed through the shiggy to the left, and ahead Blows Herself was discussing how she had found powder… She wasn’t calling “ONON” as is tradition, but hey we were on to another circle. Suckit and I checked down to the left, and I found pink paper on the trail to the left, while Suckit found a circle to the right. We figured the pack would appear sooner or later and started checking the circle – the pack didn’t appear, and we didn’t find trail off the circle. Finally we followed pink paper backwards and saw the pack in the distance. Seems we had followed one of the wimp trails backwards and finally rejoined the main group – not a short cut, just parallel to the main trail, and trust me, that wimp trail was shitty shiggy! Rooter went to a lot of effort to hack out a trail, that wasn’t used by many…

Back on trail and a V check by a temple. Oh inspired my dear Rooter. How about a V check, where somewhere (perhaps) to the left there was a hidden back check, while to the right solid powder for 200m or so, and then nothing. Finally we found a pile of pink paper under a stone tucked neatly in a freshly watered flower bed by the temple wall. Did you pay someone to wash away the powder? We assumed it was a circle, and the FRBs charged forwards. Sometime later, closer inspection revealed a FT. So now, having wasted a bunch of time, we had a V check with a checkback (maybe) one way, and a FT the other. My head was reeling, but finally someone picked out some powder we hadn’t seen before and we set off, while most of the FRBs were still down the bottom of a hill wondering what the Fuck was going on.

I somehow got into the mix, with Cumalot and HRA and we hit a bit of a scramble with “QUIET” written at the bottom clearly by our hare. What did that mean? What were we doing? WTF? This was all new for me, I had a suspicion we were creeping through private property, and a shortwhile later when a pack of 20 vicious dogs were set on us, I think we were right. I had a stick to waft at them as I edged backwards. Crap Thai was escorting the rest of the hashers through a gate, while I held of the dogs like a hollywood action hero. Crap Thai and I ducked through the gate and slammed it shut in the face of the evil canine hoard, like Indiana Jones escaping with his hat.

Onwards, and there was a 2nd Wimp Rambo split. By chance I got there with HRA, and well, we talked each other into the Wimpier option. A wimpier option that promptly hit some devilishly difficult checks. The rambo runners were nearly upon us before we solved them. Finally we found trail and HRA led the way to the ONIN. HUH? ONIN? Where the fuck are we? I know this area, and I can’t figure out where my car is! A bit further and another ONIN… Huh? This was a road, so we were closer to home! A final ONIN to encourage us up the hill to the beers. Very nice set Rooter – very confusing, good use of regular stuff, and some clever mixes of stuff that was new to me. A well engineered run, a great circle, and fun ONONON.

3rd December – CSH3 – Mr. Poo

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The Poos teamed up for another run near the football field – this time the A site was to the left near Tintin’s restaurant. A large crowd had already gathered when I arrived, but as the harebrief came, I felt sick – so sick that I ducked out of sight to deposit my lunch. I walked off following the pack – a pack kept tightly together by some excellent early checks. There was a point where everyone was following Superman and Tiptoe through a challenging little scramble. Finally the FRBs were set free and had a longish run stretch. First Brownie leading, and then Tasty, and then Piggy got a check right as we headed into the hills crossing paper that we had followed on Thursday. I couldn’t quite catch a break as next it was Graven’s turn for a go at the front. I seemed to be just off the pace and it was NOYB that nailed the check when we started heading down. All of a sudden he had a lot of energy and I chased after him, only to get 2nd choice at the next check and be wrong.

A circle check by barbed wire fence, and the leaders went left on the obvious trail, while the next group milled around. I got there with Turkish, and went down the bank to where I remember a little trail was hidden away. Sure enough Turkish called ONON, and Mr. 300 was surely on his way to victory? Only to hit a false trail. We turned back and spread out onto the hillside looking for tiny blobs of powder that could be anywhere. Turkish and I emerged to a bit of a clearing, and sure enough the cars were in view just along a little trail. NOYB followed us, and it was a few minutes before the rest of the pack appeared with Crap Thai leading them in on true trail. Nice set – a more sensible distance after the collection of 8km runs we’ve had recently.

7th July – CH4 – Pigshit

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Piggy teamed with Crap Thai from the football field – the canal road football field. He promised virgin trails – really from the football field? I don’t think he understands what virgin means – he’s confusing the word with ‘slut’. These were trails that have had more hashers going through them than half of Loi Kroh! Seriously though, it was a different combination, and it was a well marked run.

We set off across the road, and I set off well – getting the first few checks right, I pushed on, with the odd call from behind. I nailed a few more checks, and things were going well for me! After 2-3km I hadn’t gone wrong and emerged at a familiar mud road, with choices galore. Mostly I wanted to turn right, but the hare brief had said the wimp trail would be straight back down the road, and I didn’t think he would go back to the road just yet. So I tried every other direction, until Cuckold called us on straight towards the road. The wimps would have had a dull trek back down the road from there. Crap Thai didn’t give me the option – guarding the road like a bouncer he pointed me towards the rambo…

Here there was a long stretch without checks, and having busted a gut on the first section, I was feeling it. I should pace myself better, but then again, I wasn’t expecting this much! Finally a false trail caught out HRA, and there was a group of us together – but the trail turned devilishly upwards, and there was yet another hill… except this was more of a mountain than a hill. Part way up, I took a moment to myself to contemplate if I really did want to go up, when there was a much easier way back. The other FRBs pushed on, I steadied myself, caught my breath and started the ascent – I know where it goes, and it wasn’t really going in the direction that I knew there was some nice cold beer…

Anyway, I climbed up, the trail turned right, back down and then back up again. There were few checks, but not enough to let me cruise for a while, and I lost the front runners, never to get back into it. We joined the trail HRA brought us back on on Saturday, and finally started descending. There was a point on Saturday, when I wondered why HRA didn’t put a check back, and today the trail just continued down, to the fucking false trail! Nice one Piggy, but the FRBs had already been through and every group after would have to find the false trail again – except for ABB, who chose that moment to catch me up and pass me!

Passing a few good junctions the trail went straight on, following the same route back that HRA used. I walked & jogged, dreaming of the end. As we emerged from the jungle, another false trail with ABB & Mind the Gap confused. Of course he would follow HRA’s route back, and sure enough there was paper. It seems the other FRBs had simply given up and forced their way through the shiggy to get in, but I led the true FRBs in past the On-In and finally to the beer. A long, tough one!

11th Sept – CH4 – I Got Gas

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IGG stepped up with Krap Thai for a run at IGG’s place in Maejo. Given the traffic, I got there early, and waited along with Chuckie admiring the dog kennels. Finally the bus arrived, just before run time, along with Knock Out’s car, and at the very last minute the hash cash Piggy.

We set off, and for once Chuckie was running from the start. The hare had told us there was a long on out, and only 4 checks, so perhaps he was on the hunt? ONLY 4 CHECKS??? Was this a hash or a run? After 800m on the road, we finally got to the first check. Chuckie neatly stepping ahead of me to get first choice. Damnit – he had to be right – surely it was going to be along the trail to the left. I was so convinced that I half heartedly trudged along to the right, paused for a while waiting for the inevitable On Call… It didn’t come, and as Junglicious appeared at the check, I figured I ought to put some effort into checking… Sorry CW – another 20m or so and there was paper!!!! First check done, and in the bag – my dilatoriness had even bought myself a bit of a lead…

On past the square lake, and into the hills of Maejo. Plenty of chances for good checks, but just the paper trail heading on ahead. I finally heard Piggy behind me as I got to another check. My guess ‘left and right’ – sure enough I was right, and calling On. Slowly Piggy and Chuckie started reeling me in from behind. Another check – the 3rd – it was the turn point… It could be up and around to the left – there is a trail that cuts back down to the square lake – or it could be to the right – my money was on right, leaving Piggy to take the left option, while Chuckie followed me. On On – 3 from 3 so far!

In tandem with CW, we stretched out down the hill, with no noise from behind. Discussing how if we could nail the last check we’d be home free. There is was – a quick discussion, and we both figured right and then left. Sadly, it was left and then right. Piggy slipped by, damnit! The last check, still a couple of clicks from home – we needed a miracle! And it happened when trail appeared to run out, and there was a stretch with little paper. CW took off up front, and my weary legs tried to gain motivation to follow. It wasn’t there, Piggy past, and as we got back to the lake, and back to a 1km or so following the outrail backwards, I slowed down, only building motivation to jog along once Taste My Buns caught me.

It was all worth it to get back to the pool in time for the bikini show! 😀

26th July – CSH3 – Pigshit

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Pigshit picked another runsite in Maejo – heading towards the Tiger’s Head, but off into a soi on the left. A nice find – I’ve not run from there before, but I had a feeling we’d be crossing over trails that I have run before…

Hare brief over and we were off, and I was quick to get the first check wrong. Back on track and we were weaving left and right, back and forth. A short cutter’s delight! I wasn’t short cutting at that point, but spotted plenty of opportunities. Turkish on the other hand wasn’t going to let a good opportunity to short cut go to waste and promptly appeared ahead of Sloppy. Sloppy’s curses were as loud as his OnOn calls as we finally headed into familiar trails – Until halfway the hare had done a great job of finding some new little loops.

We headed over a little hill and got down to the square lake that I’ve used as an A site a few times. No check – interesting? But Turkey started calling circle check from along one side. Either he was going around the lake, or he was cutting back – I checked over the dam, and could see paper ahead at the other side of the lake. Excellent! But before I could get to it, Turkey was calling On On from the other side of the lake. I investigated the paper, and saw it cut down the side of the hill, and across a field back to the road. Again a short cutter’s paradise. I was ahead, but proceeded to get the next check very badly wrong, and was soon behind Cougar and Crap Thai. Who knows who managed to NOT short cut? Nice run though!

8th December – CH4 – Big Top

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Big Top had been scouting this run with much effort for a few weeks, and she’d chosen one of “my” areas out in Maejo. I love that area – and I’ve set a bunch of runs there, having scouted the hell out of it! It was awesome to finally get to run a hash there not knowing where it would go – but also having great knowledge about where it could (or more importantly could not) go.

We anticipated a small turn out with the boys away, but were lucky to get a couple of virgins and a couple of visitors – all of whom were serious runners / hashers. With Sunspot and Crap Thai coming along, it was a good turn out. In the early stages I got quite a few checks wrong, and ended up overtaking Robin Banks again and again, even though he’d suggested he was going to follow me. Big Top had found a couple of bits that I hadn’t done before, or didn’t remember quite, before we headed into a hill I know very well.

I got a couple of checks right and was going well, until the inevitable slap in the face! To foil me, the hare had set a 150m circle check, which brought the pack nicely back together. We’d done about 3-4km and there was the nice trail heading back to the A off a circle check – it wasn’t that way! I was behind again, with Humperdick questioning if I’d checked far enough. But no – the hare had an extra loop for us.

Awesome run, a lot of fun! Nobody had anything negative to say! The FRBs came in at 45:08, the rest of the pack came in within 5 minutes. Sunspot came in from a different direction, and BendOver came in after the rest of us – as he’d set off quite a while after us. Then we had the circle – where most of us seemed brain dead, but Big Top pulled it together and put out one of the best circles recently. So good that pretty much everyone carried on to the OnOnOn at a Burmese restaurant in town. If there are 3 elements to the hash – a big check in all 3 boxes!

Besides the hare’s efforts, the other key addition was Square Rooter deciding to fall off the wagon on his 70th birthday! The 3 beer Berrio was solid – Hashy Birthday Sir!

7th December – CSH3 – Cool Balls

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Why does Cool Balls hate us? We were lacking some of the FRBs away at the male outstation, but we’d be fine. When I arrived at the runsite, no one was there, and ominously it was the place Big Top had picked for her highway run a few weeks before. I was confident Cool Balls would put something decent together – until I heard that he only found out he was hare the day before… Uhoh!

I jogged off with Brown Finger, and we tagged our way through the first few checks, with Big Top, None of Your Business and Humperdick just behind. The trail was up, and when I say trail, I am being generous. It was a scramble through jesus trees, with the occasional bit of paper to encourage us we might get out of it alive! Somehow we hit a road in the middle of nowhere and ran up it. I hit a 200m checkback off a V check, and never saw Brown Finger again.

I could hear him ahead from time to time, but the checks needed to be broken again, and soon enough None of Your Business, Humperdick and I think Crap Thai joined me at a check that really shouldn’t have been as hard as I found it! I checked all over before I followed NOYB down a steep hack. NOYB took off like a pubescent kid trying to outrun his Dad for the first time – an ambition that was just beyond him this time… 😉

I’ve spent a bunch of time (>80km) scouting for the Ball Breaker, and I’ve ruled out “trails” that were much better than this! Perhaps I should re-evaluate? 😉