Tag Archives: Lumber Jack Off

19th May – CH3 – Pigshit

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Piggy with another run up in Maejo. As I got to the runsite just before the run start there was nobody there. Seems the traffic at the 2nd ring road caught everyone out, but most people arrived with a few setting off a little late. The first check took us to the left before a cross country scramble up to the abandoned village with roads, but no houses. The trail took us diagonally across it before ducking down onto the canal road. I was getting things right until there, and at that point from looking at my map, I was VERY close to tangling with the intrail – had I gone gone slightly different I would certainly have found some paper, but fortunately it was called in the other direction.

Perhaps Piggy thought we would get bored of the lovely running trails in the area, so instead he dragged us along a creak, cross country through shiggy. Finally we got through to some more trails and the lead was rotating between Poo, Chuckie, Lumber Jack Off, I Got Gas and I. And with a testing check finally Turkish caught up. I was clearly disoriented as I kept turning left when we should be turning right, but the checks were good enough that we kept getting back together.

Poo nailed one check, but didn’t realise for quite a way, leaving us well behind, only for him to run off paper, and come running all the way back to where we were parallel to him a few yards to the left. (This was Piggy’s strategy for not intersecting the trails as I mentioned earlier. From there it was straight on back, although I’m not 100% sure we went the way Piggy intended us to…

17th May – CSH3 – Square Rooter

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Square Rooter teamed up with Sloppy Rod from my least favourite runsite – the park near the zoo. Sure enough he sent us off up the side of the waterfall with the prospect of a Wimp/Rambo ahead. The first circle check was a no brainer and I stepped ahead of Chuckie to make sure I picked up trail up the hill. Sure enough we were heading up, until we ran out of paper by a pile of ripped off strips. We called looking and carried on up the side of the waterfall – being a popular area, it seemed like the trail might have been sabotaged. It had, but it turned out we’d gone through a V check, and the pile of paper was what was left of the check back. Behind us NOYB was leading the way on true trail, while myself, Chuckie, Turkish and Lumberjackoff carried on up the hill.

With no trail to be found, we hit the main road, and turned right to head down the hill along the main road. Surely we would find trail at somepoint? It was a long way down, and a long way around, but finally I spotted some paper on a tree, and sure enough a circle check (as yet unbroken) at the side of the road. We carried on down the hill – not On. Back up the hill and there was Tasty Buns and NOYB coming out of the temple. Over the road a trail headed down and there we found paper, finally we were back hashing.

After a longer than needed climb, and a long run down the road, I was just trying to keep up as CW set the pace up front. A few more circles and then nothing… A check, but no trail for a long, long way – until we found the hares still setting the in trail. They’d been so worried about having lost a bunch of hashers that they’d forgotten to set the end of the trail.

Again the trail ran out at the road, so Turkey and I just ran on in for a beer. Had we been able to follow the trail, I think it would have been a nice set – some interesting flattish trails discretely hidden at the foot of the mountain, only something got lost in the hare”brief”. Something was also lost when the hares forgot about JC’s 700th run.

1st May – CH4 – HRA

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The new CH4 runday, the new CH4 runtime – who would show up? how many? I arrived early, missing the traffic from work, and past Frozen Dick & Microwave getting some extra exercise on the way to the run – on their bikes. Microwave set off for a bit of a recce to find some trail. Turned out around 30 or so hashers showed up, one of the larger CH4 turn outs for a while. It was nice to see Ninja, Taste my Buns, Beautiful Box join us, and I’m sure there were some guys too – oh yeah, Sups was there. Not a bad start!

Eventually HRA let us have a hare brief and set us off. So called virgin trails – ha! Anyway, we set off and Chuckie and I walked for a while before starting a jog and eventually getting to the first check together. One of us should check left, buuuut… nah… Unlikely! So we carried on and found trail. I’ve never been to the left there, but nor has there ever been a hash set to the left there – I figure it’s a dead end! The next check we had to split up, and I opted for the regular route to the left. Somehow it was None of Your Business that found the 3rd choice and called us on. He led the way for a while as we headed into the hills. I enjoyed following Knock Out, Ninja and Itchy up the hill, and as we got to the top I caught up at a sneaky False Trail that was omitted from the hare brief.

We followed old trails up a ridgeline, and another circle check was surely going to take the trail up the the buddha statue on the hill… Nope? Seriously? He wanted to take us down to the gully? Damn! A circle check at the bottom of the hill, had me guessing it was to the left. I followed Itchy for a few paces before LumberJackOff called from the other direction. Where was it going? Turns out he was calling on old paper. Sure enough we were back up the hill, back to the trail by the little buddha statue – I could have saved myself the down and up if I’d just gone with my original theory. What the hell, we descended quickly to another familiar runsite.

Chuckie went further to the right – further away from home, while I mossied around a couple of trails, only to find Pigshit looking at some paper! He’d been absent all trail and then showed up ahead – had he spent some time at Graven’s private hashing school??? We charged down the hill to the Wimp Rambo split – a glance at the watch and it was already nearly 45 minutes – did we need the rambo option? Ugh, being first there, I guess I should do it…

Next circle check and I am a complete fucking moron. I should know the area better than that, but found myself checking out on a peninsula, while Graven’s favourite padawan called “RU?” from the other side of the lake, mockingly, like a blind man who really hadn’t seen the trail he was following! 😉 Back on trail, and back with the pack, somehow Taste my Buns was up front – nice running! We climbed through a barbed wire fence, while Horny took the arduous route over a tall gate. Down the road – we were homing in on the A. Taste my Buns was leading the way, and bizarrely she went right at another circle check – that wasn’t going anywhere. Chuckie alongside, and only Lumber Jack Off lumbering ahead, I made my move… We were nearly home, everything was falling into place, one more check, turn left and we are back in…. Except it wasn’t left, it was straight on… and coming back from 150m or so I was back behind None Of Your Business! He looked over his shoulder, saw me, started running, looked at his watch, figured it was too far, and the lazy boy gave up.

We had an extra loop around, but it was all kicked out as I came through, having the luxury of watching Chuckie and Horny congratulate each other as they found the final check and hence the OnIn.

Rain for the circle temporarily moved us up the hill to shelter, and then back to the the original site for a delayed, but entertaining circle.

28th April – CH3 – The Dick Brothers

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How could expectations be high for a run set by 2 dicks (Humperdick and Frozen Dick)
But how could anyone muff a run in the Ob Khan area with sooooo many lovely trails.

Before the hare brief Frozen Dick suddenly had a panic attack about one of the checks (presumably one set buy the other Dick) and he quietly took me aside and explained the check.
There would be a check where the trail would be very hard to find … it would uphill to the left. I got the first 20 checks wrong as they all seemed to fit the description. Eventually I got lucky!

Some nasty evil person tried to sabotage the run by destroying at least three check and quite a few hundred metres of trail. But they underestimated the skill and resourcefulness of this group of hashers. Even the DFL’s didn’t miss beat, and this was nothing to do with the obviousness of where the trail was going! On our arrival back with the news FD immediately deduced it to be a person of Swiss origin who owns three dogs who was the saboteur.

The false trails was strangely omitted from the hare brief. However both of them nicely brought the pack (with the exception of myself who was secretly checking uphill to the left) back together.

Turkish Delight was in an unusually chirpy mood as both Brown Finger and Byte My Yahoo were absent giving him a much better chance of winning. He was later nearly awarded the wings for coming in first but it was decided that he must of short cutted somewhere! So the wings were then passed on to very triumphant Square Rooter. Who, in true hashing spirt, had added a could of kilometres on to his run so as to give TD a chance This extra distance however caused him to arrive back at the “A” from the completely wrong direction.

Liberace was so disillusioned with the run that he created his own and struggled in from yet another direction.

At the circle some half hearted attempt was made at naming a newby hasher who was in a hurry to be named (foolish man), but every one was brain dead mood and nothing came of it.

There was an excellent turnout – considering who the hares were – of about 21 hashers.

Soapy and SR were late arrivals. Soapy should try this more often as in very quick time he was running with the FRB’s – I am sure this had nothing to do with the horrible false trails that happened just before he reached the front.

Lumber Jack Off certainly deserved his Hash Crash award. In addition to the 2 crashes that were reported at the circle there was a magnificent double back flip which was only cut short by a badly placed tree. Hope your back get better.

And the general consensus of the run – excellent – all the practice must be paying off :)

Thanks guys great run.