Tag Archives: Tip Toe

7th January – CH3 / CSH3 – Frozen Dick, Sheep Shagger & Graven Image (BALL BREAKER)

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Once a year the hashers of Chiang Mai come together for the annual Ball Breaker – a special run where bodies are pushed to breaking points, mental willpower is tested, resolve is broken, and only the toughest survive – oh and yes… BALLS are BROKEN! Let me get straight to the point, before wallowing in the details – a huge thanks to the haring trio – it is a huge undertaking, a lot of work, and the result was well worth it – a great run, a great challenge, one that truly lived up to the remit of breaking our balls. I survived it, I am a happy man tonight!

The build up to the ball breaker wasn’t so inspiring… There were many voicing concerns about it, and very little information forthcoming from the hares. Every time I spoke to Graven or Sheep Shagger they seemed to want to disown it, claiming they knew nothing about it, and they had no idea if there was any trail. When I spoke to Frozen, he seemed confident things would come together, but not in a way that inspired any confidence. With less than a week to go, logistics were up in the air (neither GM in town), who would bring beer? how about food? what time? I zoned out and assumed it would come together… The hares had talked a lot about struggling to find connects, but largely they had succeeded, or spent a lot of time and effort re-establishing trails.

I arrived ready for a 1:30 runstart, but the songthaew was late, and then runfees had to be collected, and then there was a photo op, and then there was an extended harebrief, where perhaps we might have to sign indemnity forms before we set off. Finally we were released, and set off over the dam wall. I was promising myself I would take it steady, and it seems everyone else also wanted to take it steady, which was good. Gone were those crazy 6 min km runs of recent weeks and we settled into the 8-10 minute range. Being somewhat familiar with the start of the trail, I figured we had to head over to the trail, and turn left, but the hares put in a bit of a loop around the field. Good for them – but Brownie and I headed across to the paper, and most of the pack followed. I hit the road, and the only benefit it gave me was getting to see Graven hiding behind a tree at a False Trail. Damnit!

We started up the hill, for the first time. Nobody really putting much effort in – I think Angry Inch was leading for a while here, but eager to step out of the way to let Brownie take over. It wasn’t much of a hill before a circle check and mass confusion. Trail started again very quickly, but we were all scrambling across shitty shiggy. The kind of shitty shiggy that hares hope we will have forgotten about before the end of the run. The only funny part of that was when Angry Inch cut across and came running down the hill to where I found another circle and suggested he turned around and went back up. The trail went down and Taste My Buns led us for a while as we found a nice trail that came back down the hill (presumably that is why the hares forced us through the shitty bit?) We were all together and the trail was clogged up. I was itching to run, but it was probably good for me that I couldn’t. At the bottom, of course we turned right, and then right again to go back up the god damn hill. This time the trail was better, and Brownfinger lead the way, but he led it gingerly – he was in no mood to break away this early.

We climbed and climbed and finally got to a ridgeline. Inevitably there was a check there, but I was already breaking left, and on trail. Nice trails along the top, from time to time overgrown with shiggy. Scooby and I took turns at the front as we tried to spot the paper. The small pieces in places weren’t as easy as they could have been, but it was perfectly followable. The trail abruptly broke left down the hill, and I immediately called for a false trail. I reluctantly followed Scooby to the inevitable, and we climbed back up to where the rest of the pack were heading off after Poo who had slipped through to the front. A large pack, all closely together. Another check, and order was switched up again. I somehow got to the front, in time to see yet another FUCKING false trail! Turning back, I also managed to find the true trail before the rest and led the way back off down the hill.

That was until a circle check. I got there first and looked left and right where there were precipices both sides. There was a nice enough trail going straight on, but why a circle here? You couldn’t go left or right without a risk of death. I suspected it was back up a bit and there was another way down, but as I was first there, I had the duty to check down the hill. I did so, over 100, before finally HRA called from somewhere – I had no idea where. I just didn’t really want to have to climb back up the sodding hill. I tried to get a clue which way to go and Poo helpfully suggested I cut around the hill – which way? to my right? I tried, but it was a cliff… I tried carrying back down the trail I was on, hoping I could cut across, and then came to the realisation that I had made a very grave error. I had no choice but to go back up and follow trail (as we should always do). I was way behind, but there was a long way to go, so I told myself to take it steady and I would get back sooner or later.

When I got back to trail I found Knock Out, and she was the first to be surprised to see me behind her. Next I caught Foxy Cleopatra, and then ABB – each time a surprised reaction. Next I caught the hares as they were busy putting in a short cut. WTF? Now I had to run further in the wrong direction and go back again?! I told them there were hashers following me, so they waited at the junction. I continued, and it was really pleasant, setting my own pace, running on really nice trails – really nice trails. There was a bit of a hill, and I was already hating hills, but finally I met with Pussy Whisperer, and rather than being surprised, he tried to talk me out of running, reminding me how much further there was to go! Down the hill I joined Toe Sucker and then ran along with Blows Herself for a while. Blows Herself is unimaginably positive, what an awesome life attitude!!!

Back down the hill and a mainish trail and suddenly Brownfinger, Sloppy and “Just” Bob appeared in front of me.. It took a few minutes for me to realise what had happened, a false trail, some confusion, again, and somehow I was back with the pack. Around the corner, up a short hill and there was Graven, there was “Beer Near” and the first beer stop. I had 9KM. I went to grab a beer, but somehow found soda manao, and my hand seemed to overrule my brain. Soda manao it was. Frozen pranced around fishing for information – who did what? who deserved the wings? who loved my run? Quickly the pack regrouped and set off again and there was a km or so of hardtop before another check. I walked over the two dams, trying to process the fizzy drink and by the time I got to the checks, I was a bit behind. I was quite happy with this, and set off with the goal of staying around 100m or so off the front of the pack, so I could avoid the work…

There was a hack up the hill, but all perfectly serviceable, and when we hit a flat trail, I had a good idea where we were again. I jogged gently, and caught Sloppy who seemed to be starting to feel the pain. Suddenly the pack came running back towards me calling false trail. To the right it was a steep cliff up, to the left a steep cliff down. Nothing obvious either way. I’d been going steady and looking around at the terrain and hadn’t seen anything promising. So while the rest of the pack went back on trail, I carried on, and spotted evidence that humans had passed to the right. I started climbing and found the paper. ONON. I was exactly where I didn’t really want to be… Climbing the hill, but at the front! I remembered there were some trails up there, but didn’t really want to be doing this climb. It was steep, and when I got to another circle I was really lazy checking off to the right. Brownie found it, and led us down to a trail. He went right, and was right, so Greasy and I were slow getting to the next check. I stepped off trail and took a moment to enjoy again the taste of that soda manao, in reverse…

And then was “the hill”. This was steeper than the previous hill. OK so the top wasn’t as high as the previous ridgeline, but we started the climb from lower down and it was a 150m elevation climb, steep. Brownie lead the way, and as I scrambled my way up I passed hashers on the verge of quitting. Sloppy and Angry were discussing whether there was a viable short cut. Sex Pistol looked in terrible shape begging for the next peak to be the final one. Finally I broke the top and set off back down the other side. Those ahead were gone, I was alone again, just pushing on following nice trails downhill. I caught Blows Herself again, and she muttered words of encouragement. At the bottom we were back on roads and I could see a sea of hashers ahead of me. Comfortable running, so I jogged along blanking out the pain. Somehow we turned into a field and somehow I got to a circle that wasn’t yet solved, and miraculously there was Graven, who showed me the way to a hidden trail that lead us down and out to the road. Brownie and I jogged down it together and we had survived to beer stop #2. I didn’t even have the energy or mental capacity to open up the back of Frozen’s pickup. While we weren’t finished, there was a plethora of hashers that had taken a ride from B->C, itching to go on. Whoa! Holdit peeps!?

It was hardly a beerstop… I didn’t even finish my manao soda. I barely dared to. But they were off again… AAAAARGH! My legs were starting to rebel, they didn’t want me to keep going. It wasn’t physical anymore, now it was mental. You will keep going. I walked, and lost ground. Even Tiptoe and his harem of ladies were gaining meters on me. But I am a stubborn fuck. Turning into the kings project I gifted the guards my empty can, and trudged on. The trail turned right, and a nice trail. Again a good km before a check, so everyone had dispersed in front of me. I heard the odd ONON, but couldn’t place them.

Then I got to “THE V” check. The hares had done so well so far, and then to fuck up monumentally at this point?! When I got there it was of course already kicked out. But it was kicked out wrong. Torn from the right, meaning go to the left, but when I followed the trail to the left, I found a check back, (very clear) and a confused Bob. We cut across to what we presumed was the other trail, but with the check being kicked out wrong I then had to climb back up to correct it. I made a clear arrow and headed back down the trail, only to find an even more confused Bob coming back saying there was no more trail. We looked to the right and found a circle. No trail leading to it, but it was kicked out in straight towards where trail started immediately. Hmmm… It didn’t seem right, but we could head On calls from various directions. We went on for a bit, but it just felt wrong, really wrong. The paper was stapled the wrong way, and now it didn’t have BB written on it anymore. I finally determined it was the CSH3 run of the day rather than the BB, and turned back up the hill and persuaded Bob we had to go back to the V check. On the way back we recruited Sex Pistol and had a new pack of FRBs.

Back at the V check we finally found the OTHER trail and reset the paper yet again. This time our new FRB pack gained Poo and Knock Out. I was feeling good again… Energised… We found unbroken checks, and we were the new kings! We were the FRBs! The others had screwed up, and we would be heroes! The adrenaline rushed through my body and my mind went numb. Nothing would stop me completing the trail now, because I had to do it! I bumped into the hares and gave them an update while the drove a merry HRA, daughter, Foxy and Pussy back to the A drinking happily. I got to another circle, looked around a bit, and found the trail, going back to get the paper from the circle. A malevolent Sloppy caught up asking why I was calling, but his attitude changed in a moment when he realised we were the FRBs. Suddenly he turned into a racist and was up for a fuck – yes, he wanted to fuck with me…???!!!??? We compromised on working together, and carried on.

Another couple of checks and then suddenly behind me there was Brownfinger. I had just called “Checking” off a circle check and he appeared saying “I’m checking tooooo…” in the creepiest scariest voice! Excellent work for that group that after going so wrong at the V check still made the effort to come all the way back and do the true trail. That took some balls that clearly hadn’t been broken quite yet, as if I was that close to home and beer, I would probably have made a different decision! We were into the last throws of the challenge. The hills were now gentle. The trails were good, and while they were running trails, our weary bodies were doing our best to move through them. While there were fantastic checks all through the run, the hares left some great ones till the end, and the lead turned over again and again. We were all delivered the highs and lows of changing emotions – I’m on (high), I’m off (low), he’s off (maybe high), my legs hurt (low)… We went over a dam, and I just thought it was the wrong lake, My car is by a lake, why isn’t it this lake??? Another circle, and Brownfinger’s final demise as he headed left with several following. Who would emerge as the leader? Greasy Gorilla solved the riddle and called us on through the last couple of checks and somehow I came jogging in with 3 1/2 inch floppy and Bob… When I say I came jogging in, in reality I was just happy it was downhill for the last 100m or so – I wasn’t jogging, I was just doing my best to control gravity…

Strava Fly By

An excellent set, my balls are truly broken and I’m sure many more are across Chiang Mai. The logistics worked, and everyone was safely able to complete as much as they were able – great job hares!

12th December – CH3 – Byte My Yahoo

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(Courtesy of Brownfinger)

So then, from beer and bar girls to chocolate milk and early nights. This is how some view the sad progressive demise of the Chiang Mai male hashing community. Indeed, with the ever increasing average age of the proverbial male hasher, it has been said that the wearing of incontenance pants after the run will soon become mandatory to avoid any unpleasant urinary accidents during the circle or on the way home in the songthaew.
While I will quickly add that the above concerns are merely what I have heard others say and are not my own, I will confess to feeling a little worried about quite what to do when setting a male hash run. In fact I have of late somewhat dumbed them down, not in the sense that I think male hashers are dumb sons-of-bitches, although that certainly is true in a number of cases, but in the sense that I have tried to make them easier, taking into account more obvious infirmities and the general dibilitating effects of the ageing process on physical abilities: a wimp/rambo split for a run over 5k, nice trails with no bushwhacking, no nasty hills or shitty shiggy.
So, have I become a little too gentile in my run setting? Is my natural inclination to protect myself and my ageing brothers from the ravages of a traditional male run warranted. Do male hashers want to be mollicoddled in their declining years. I was about to find out! Pro Byte and his evil alter ego, Dr Moriarty, were about to teach me a lesson or two I will do well not to forget!
Lesson number one. Always tell the slowest and most reluctant hashers that the run is a very tough one, that they might not be man enough to complete it, that if they want to have a go then they should arrive and start early. Ahhh, I get it, it plays to their vanity, makes them feel special and more determined than ever not to show any weakness, to complete the run and to demonstrate they can still cope with anything that any stupid hare can lay before them. A masterstoke! No need for a time-consuming wimp/rambo split, and if they collapse on trail then it would be their own stupid fault. After all, they had been warned!
With Frozen Dick and Tiptoe already pumped up and out on the run when we arrived, the hare herded us back into the songthaew and we set off down the road to the B site – an unusual B to A run, then. With a brief hare brief devoid of any instructions about what to do with false trails and the promise of a sub 7k run, we set off happily down the road, with Mr Poo and me running down hill ahead of a typically slow-starting pack. And it was here that Forest-Gump-Poo, for some reason unknown to anyone other than himself, decided to keep on running . . . and running . . . and running . . . seemingly taking no notice whatsover of any checks (or absence of) or calls (or absence of), and that was the last I saw of him until he arrived sweating profusley back at the A having run about 3k further than anyone else. Strange . . .
And then we were off into the forest and trails that Dr Byte had used for his ballbreaker a few years ago. I remembered some of them but certainly not all. Nice trails, until that is we came to the second (I think) false trail which happened not to have been on any discernable trail. Snowballs found it and he wasn’t quite sure what to do, because of course he hadn’t been briefed. I politely advised Snowballs to pick up some paper and reset the trail but because we weren’t on a trail it would have been difficult to reset even for an experienced Chiang Mai hasher, and as Snowballs hadn’t been briefed on how to reset a false trail . . . It was here that I began to feel a tad sorry for those who were behind in the pack. Would they be able to find trail, I wondered?
And then there was the hill of death, almost verticle with a slippery surface, only a few thin trees to steady the pace of descent. Snowballs had already tumbled beautifuly just ahead of the slide, but now it was the turn of that downhill headcase Angry Inch, who descended so fast that he actually took off into space half way down and only just manged to grasp hold of a tree, his momentum swinging his tiny Ewok physique almost 360 degrees before he was forced to let go. He sailed majestically upwards into the atmoshere and then fell hard, straight down into the gully by the side of the trail. OMG, the sickening, appalling noise of the crash, which I was absolutely convinced would result in a smashed skull or at the very least a broken limb. I was concerned. But I needn’t have been. Up popped the little Ewok from the undergrowth, bushing off the stckers from his stumpy legs, and with a shrill war cry on his lips, he ran off like nothing had happened at all. Amazing? Dumb?
Turkey, Turkey, Turkey. The hare had obviously briefed him before the run on how to fuck up every other hasher and “win”, and this the Turk did and almost did with the evil precision and mastery of Dr Moriarty himself. Turkey had somehow managed to worm his way to the front of the pack – way out in front . . . suspicious, I really think so. Off of a circle check, Turkey had taken the only trail available. By the time the rest of us arrived at the check, he had obviously been following paper for about three hundred metres or so without calling. So when he did eventaully call, the obvious line to take was directly towards the call which took us through nasty, waist-high shiggy and on to a water crossing that really couldn’t be made. Piggy correctly kicked out the check and laid paper in the direction of the call, in the direction to that shitty, shitty shiggy. Some of us circled through the deepest part of the shit and eventually found a safe water crossing point and others went back and tried to find Turkey’s trail that headed over a rickey old bridge. Safe to say that we lost a lot of time there while Turkey dissappeared into the distance, and the trail was completely fucked up for all those who followed. It was almost dark. Nice job Turkey.
And then we were heading towars the A site, but with a series of excellent false trails and checks we didn’t seem to be getting any closer to home. I will admit to a sneaky look at the GPS to verify this. I guesstimate that we stayed at a distance of 600m from the A for about 2k of running. What the fuck?
Finally, with an excellent false trail and a clever true trail (sorry Gravy) that brought us out just ahead of the false trail, there was the welome sight of the On In. There was concern that others would struggle to find there way back, particularly as I had not seen Poo since his early eccentricity, and had not seen Frozen Dick and Tiptoe at all. Where the fuck were they? It was very dark! But the hare was not concerned. All would be well in the end. After all, he had warned them. And there was a well-stocked BBQ, and cold beers. We had in fact run about 9k (Poo 11k) and so we sort of tucked into the BBQ and beers with increasing relish and forgot about those left out on the trail . . .
It was very, very dark, but then the stragglers appeared out of the gloom, and I waited for a reaction. But surprise, surprise there were only fist-pumps and smiles, no angry voices. We demolished the rest of the meat and crisps and swilled the cool beer that always tastes its best after a long, hard run. Piggy conducted the circle in a fun and participative manner that has become his wlcome trademark style – good job GM!
So what lessons did I learn from Pro Byte’s run, appart from the excellent way in which to engage those who may not otherwise wish to partake in a tough, long hash that I have already referred to. Well, it is clear that handled correctly you can get away with just about anything. Us old guys might moan a bit but when the chips are down we can still cope with and thoroughly enjoy a traditional, long, tough male run and still be physically able to eat like pigs and drink beer like thirsty camels. You can almost maim a male hasher (Angry Inch), get someone to fuck it all up (Turkey), wear hashers down to the bone physically (9+k – excleent job Frozen/Tippy), and use all forms of dangerous terraine (death slides – waiste-high shiggy) and still we will come back to the A ready for some beers and fun in the circle. Thanks for the lessons hare, I’ll be sure to use them well on my next male hash trail :-)
Great job all round, Pro Byte, or does Dr Moriarty now hold permanent sway over the mind of the most intelligent Chiang Mai hasher . . . mooo-ha-ha-ha!
Long live the male hash! We don’t need no stinking incontence pants – well not quite yet, anyhow!

5th December – CH3 – Liberace

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Libbers teamed up with Crap Thai, and headed to a favourite hunting ground out in Maejo at Praphats farm. This time the songthaew arrived in time and we were ready to go on time. The co-hare handed out torches like confetti which did nothing to improve our confidence! The eagerness at the start was lacking, and in the end it was Kwazi who broke into a run and got to the first check – only to stop and take a pee rather than actually check. With Sloppy heading left, I reluctantly headed right, and sure enough there was a check back. Damnit!

Back on trail, and I was at the back, but the next check (a cross) still hadn’t been solved. Brownie was put off from checking left as there was a gate with a sign saying keep out. Finally it was called from through the gate, although we hadn’t found a check back straight. It was a bit fishy, but fortunately I knew a way of bypassing the house with the keep out sign…. Unfortunately the way I knew was now overgrown and impossible to pass. I was forced to go back to the check, and I was way, way behind. For the rest of the trail there were nowhere near enough checks to give me any chance of getting back into it either. I overtook Frozen Dick and Tip Toe as we passed a random drunk guy ranting about how he would follow us if he hadn’t had a car crash – wtf? Next up Soapy was panting his way up a small incline.

I know the area pretty well, but Libbers did a great job of finding a trail that wasn’t familiar to me. We cut up the side of a hill on a little goat trail – perfectly hashable, except when you get stuck behind Does Nothing, Kwazi and Square Rooter. It was quite treacherous in places – steep cliff off to the side, but better than some trails we’ve been expected to survive. A nice loop and I was wondering where we would pop out. I met ABB on the descent and then Shrek, who both stuck on my heels as we tried to swing from tree to tree down the steep rocky goat trail. At the bottom was Pussy Whisperer and Cuckold, and then amazingly Frozen Dick and TipToe – excellent hashing! I figured there may be some good checks on the last stretch which might give me a chance to get back into it, and jogged off pausing briefly to retrieve Mr. Poo who was randomly wandering off in the wrong direction – I do wonder how often he does that…

I pushed off, but there were no checks, it was just trail across the motocross track, through an A-site that I like, and back to the OnIn on the far side of the lake. A nice route, but could have done with some more checks to keep people together, and give me a chance to catch up!

25th July – CH3 – Shagless

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A Shagless run from the flatlands in between the Hang Dong Road and the river. This is Skidmark land! Harebrief over, and we set off, with only CW and I making any early efforts. A V-check, and I went left, paper, paper, paper, nothing, nothing, nothing… I hunted around for a check back, but none to be seen – fortunately CW called ONON to the next check, and the checks were coming fast! I love it! Straight back into the mix as everyone was going wrong, but plenty of checks had everyone milling around together. At last I managed to string a sequence together and got a bit of a lead – the trail turned right and arrived at a “bridge”.

A bridge:-
noun
1.
a structure spanning and providing passage over a river, chasm, road, or the like.

I guess that is a fairly loose definition of a bridge… But does a thin piece of bamboo casually dropped across a raging river count as a structure? It certainly spanned the gap, but it didn’t provide passage for this hasher. I put a foot on it, and thought better of it. Ack. So frustrating! I could see a check on the other side, and I could also see paper in the distance to the left… But I couldn’t get over… The clock was ticking, and shortly CW arrived with Sloppy. They politely asked me to get out the way, and danced across the treacherous balance beam. Damnit!!! I tried to find another way… And when I say I tried to find another way, I mean it – It took me around 2.5km, but eventually I found another way across.

Sadly by that time, and by the time I found paper again, I was a long, long, long way behind. Not much later, there was another bridge, that just seemed to have a little too much balance requirement, so again I went back and found a safer crossing. I was sorely tempted to head home, but I also needed the exercise, so I carried on. Eventually I saw Tiptoe, Does Nothing and Bone Smoker ahead, and slowly reeled them in as we crossed the rice fields, but when we hit the road they ignored it and turned left to short cut their way back. It was tempting, but I turned right and pushed myself over more dodgy bridges, and finally made it back to the circle some time after the majority. Good run, if you like that kind of “bridge”!

23rd June – CH4 – Anything

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When Anything teams up with Chilly Pussy we never know what to expect – fortunately it is mushroom season, so they may have cut the run shorter to gather more mushrooms! We set off and my inhaler had no puff, so I would have to be careful about my asthma – damnit! Second check and there were 2 parallel trails, at least I thought they were parallel, and got to learn the hard way that they weren’t – CW got the right trail, I took the left, and wrong one. I could easily have cut across to join him, but was confident my lovely trail met his just around the corner. I was wrong. Horribly wrong.

Finally I managed to cut back across and found trail at the back with Cougar, Doesn’t Get It and Bobble Head. Having gone up the wrong hill, I then had to work my way up another hill. There was Toe Jam going the wrong way. I slowly picked off runners by sticking on the nice trail, that was 10m to the left of the scramble the hares had marked. Past Tiptoe, who was mixing it with the ladies… There was Obscene, and Cumalot… And then Kwazi, Shagless & Does Nothing. I kept it steady, but slowly reeled people in.

And then when the trail finally broke left there was 2.5km without checks to get back. I had a glimpse of ABB & Motorboat ahead and later Barbindoll, but was forced to take it steady to control my breathing. Damnit – these are great running trails, I just want to run! Even Kwazi started to close me down towards the end, but I wasn’t going to allow that humiliation! Nice set from a kind and gentle Anything!

Fly By

18th June – CSH3 – Shagless

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It is always very appreciated when the hares go out of their way to put on something special. Given the run directions I kinda thought the hares would do something special, but the directions read along the lines of “drive to the end of the earth, and then turn right and drive another 8km. There were encouraging hash signs pointing forwards to encourage us onwards into outstation territory – apparently there was no accommodation, and we would have to drive back!

The hare brief was one of the more elaborate I’ve witnessed. The hares role playing how we should act on trail, and giving clues to how confusing their run would be. So… There is a wimp rambo. The wimps would do a B->A, and the rambos and A->A. At some point in his dreams Shagless came up with this idea that wimps and rambos would meet on trail, but they should go in opposite directions. Wimps should follow pink, rambos follow white, and at no point should anyone get confused. I’m coming to the end of the 2nd paragraph and we haven’t set out on the run yet!

We were set off and Shit House pulled a Belly Dancer – sprinting to the first check only to get it wrong. The trail cut up a small hill to the road. Arriving with Piggy & CW, they didn’t want to check anywhere apart from where I went, and sure enough we were all right. A V check – in a completely unknown area, I had no advantage, I gambled wrong, and CW and I were then making our way back through the pack. Did I mention yet that I felt like shit – recovering from both a potentially deadly case of Man-Flu, and a hangover had me in a remarkably shabby state.

Looking at my GPS track afterwards, this run is really genius – really impressed with the hares for finding the trails in a completely new area. Catching up from checking the wrong way, we were heading up a hill, and up ahead Piggy was very confused. Maybe he didn’t hear the hare brief? He was talking about pink paper, and worried he was on the wimp trail. Nobody saw the check and it took a while before Turkish did the OnOn call. We went through a couple of checks – of course they weren’t obvious – we had no idea where we were, or where we were going. At some point I got to a check ahead with Cuckold, and there was Motorboat coming towards us…

Setting a trail where the walkers go the opposite direction to the runners along the same trail just sounds like a bad idea! Or is it a good idea? It is an idea for sure… WTF? It worked… We got to say hello… We got to cling to the side of the hill while Tiptoe charged towards us, and we got to dodge Chilly Pussy with her mushroom collecting team. Very different midpoint to the run, and then we were off again.

A great check where nobody spotted the 3rd trail option, and suddenly ABB was leading the way back down the hill. I was feeling worse and worse. I was mostly walking, trying to keep pace with those doing the checks. Fortunately I managed to get to the “obstacle” in the first batch. The hares had arranged a raft to take us across the fast flowing river with escorts swimming us across. I took a moment to crash on the raft. It didn’t make me feel better. So I let the runners take off along the other side of the river. Some how the checks held up the pack, although the raft ride did separate groups along the trail. I confess I may have put paper slightly wrong off a check, but it wasn’t much. We negotiated another creek crossing, and back across the bridge to the A.

Really good run, a really good circle, and a really good OnOnOn. Cuckold estimated 6-8 paragraphs for a write up. How long is a piece of string?

9th June – CH4 – Chuck Wao

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Chuckie from the Fire Prevention Centre – convenient to get to from work, so I toddled my way along from the office to see what we had in store. 6km he said… Yikes I thought… Knowing the kind of runs CW sets, that suggested he would be lenient on the hills, so my guess was over towards the Ag centre. Clockwise, or Anti-clockwise? When he pointed us off up the hill, I was pretty sure of roughly where we going – anticlockwise.

Little Obscene was tearing along with youthful early run exuberance – I doubted that would last for long. Past the huts, and along the pipe. At the first circle, there was only one direction I was headed, and sure enough there was the paper. Really nice trails – clear of leaves, clear of rocks, even with the rain it wasn’t slippy. The bamboo railings were new and made progress easy. Another check and this time to get to the trail we had to navigate past some fallen bamboo. It took me some time to get past, so I knew it would slow down those behind me – and sure enough I was on trail. I took off, headed downhill. At one point I was aware of a trail coming in from the right, but I was moving so fast that I had got to the false trail marking before my brain had processed the possibility. Fortunately I got back on trail before the pack were breathing down my neck.

I pushed on, getting another few checks right. And then another false trail – you sly bugger you! Luckily it didn’t take too much to cut across and I was back on and things were going well. No sign of the pack behind me. The trail went cross country, but not really shiggy. The paper emerged back out onto a trail with a circle check. Surely it would be down to the Ag Center? I went down, 100++ meters and nothing – damnit! I went back and past the check going up hill as I heard the pack closing in on me. From there is was uphill, and from the strava flyby it seems Piggy waited at the check for me to find it before firing up the hill after me. Man they were closing me down fast – Piggy & HRA. I pushed hard, but they were getting closer. Finally I hit another trail and a circle check. It had to be down, and it was my choice. I was slow heading down the hill – catching my breath, taking a pee, letting the faster guys do some more climbing… Finally I was on, called and ran off down the hill.

We got down to the Ag centre trails, and they weren’t far behind me. Another circle and I picked left. After 120m I had a good view down the trail, and no sign of paper, so I turned back. Piggy was chatting to a dog walker who had definitely seen paper the direction I was checking. He urged me to check further, while he continued chatting up the young lady. I finally got to paper, but I was clearly too far. I tried to sign language to Piggy, as HRA called the true trail. Bugger it, I carried on and got to the hare escorting Tiptoe to a shot cut. From here we just had the connect back over to the A, and HRA got the best of it. Good run, good route, good circle, shame about the Mexican!

4th August – CH3 – Byte My Yahoo

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Author Pig Shit
So with shit for brains it’s obvious that this will not be a long or detailed account, but as BMY normally does the write up’s for the run blog and on this occasion he is the hare he can’t be allowed to comment on his own run, so here goes:
The location was the depths of Mae Jo, 4th u turn passed the Uni. I was in the Songtau and it took a long time to get to the run site, I think about 45 minutes. We arrived to see the tent had been erected which was just as well because no sooner had we pulled up then the heavens opened up and it continued to rain for the next 30 to 40 minutes, heavy rain. (Thanks Turkish Delight, great tent, what forethought).
The hare brief was necessarily short as nobody could hear a thing over the noise of the pouring water. ‘We’re running on shredded paper, there’s only circle checks and the trails that way’, So we’re off. This is where things become a little hazy coz i’m head down, bum up running as best I can. I remember being bloody wet and seeing Sloppy Rod an Chucky up ahead most of the time. We passed Tip Toe at a circle check at which he had arrived, apparently with Frozen Dick, well ahead of the pack, (thanks to BMY giving him the grease on the best short cuts available) We didn’t see Frozen at that time and not again until night had fallen. I remember going up and up through densely wooded areas and the shouts of on on which could barely be heard over the consistent down pour. I remember long periods of fast flat running. In all I believe the run was well over the 6km mark and had a unanimous vote of excellent run. The circle was good fun especially as Frozen Dick and Liberace where absent for most of the time having decided to take their own route and coming in just before pitch black. The hare seemed unconcerned as did most of the pack with only an occasional glance back along the trail to see if they were returning any time soon, Eventually we saw flash lights in the distance letting us know they were nearly home. Anyway all made it back safely and we live to run another day. Again, consensus of opinion :great run. thanks Byte.

19th June – CH4 – Pigshit

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A low turn out for Piggy’s run out in Maejo. With other runs out of town coming up, and much of the hash community overseas it probably wasn’t a surprise to only have me, Chuckie, Humps, I Got Gas, Square Rooter and Tip Toe there for the run. Tip Toe thought better of it and promptly turned back, while the rest of us went to see what Piggy had put together for us.

Across the concrete to the trail the other side, and we could have put the first circle there ourselves. First there so I got the pick and went left – if it was right then he knows there is a nicer trail to use to get there, so why go across the concrete thing? I was pretty confident, until I found old paper and shortly after heard the On Call from the opposite direction. Chuckie and I turned about face and caught up at the next check.

Rather than using all the lovely trails around Maejo, Piggy decided to cut cross country hacking our way through the shiggy. Back on trail and he was putting checks every 1 or 2 junctions. Square Checks replaced circles and the lead rotated between myself, Chuckie, Humps and IGG. You could feel hump’s joy when he got the trail at the top of a steep incline, and it took me a while to get back on track.

Finally we got to a V check, where both CW and I thought it had to be left – he took the dummy trail to the right, while I walked along to let him catch up after he hit the check back. Unfortunately it was me that hit the check back, and was left to run the last 1.5k or so on my own behind CW, including a good km along the road after the OnIn.

After the run we moved the circle to IGG’s place, away from the mosquitoes, with the pool, pagoda for the circle and then upstairs for chicken dinner – cheers IGG!

14th April – CH3 – Mr. Poo

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We were all somewhat hungover from the Songkran run… Mr. Poo the hare was so hungover that he’d forgotten to bring enough powder, felt too crappy to set the trail, and opted to do a live hare – only to find that he was a bit too hungover and might not make it on his own. He picked Chuckie for a co-hare and so we had 2 live hares – neither looking in good shape.

They set off and we watched them duck in to the right, 5 minutes and we set off in pursuit. The first check was easy – we’d seen where they had gone. we were gaining. I nailed a few checks and things were going well – particularly when the monks told me where the strange farangs had gone. Having run here before I had a hunch where they were headed, and sure enough I got to the crucial intersection. Up the hill? Or along the bottom?

Damn, I guessed, and guessed wrong. Graven had already checked that way too – as he’d ignored the early part of the trail and just headed straight to the ‘crucial’ point. It was up the hill, but how high up? Most of us got it wrong due to some ambiguous calling from up ahead and found ourselves above the trail over a steep cliff. I opted to parallel for a bit longer, only to find that I wasn’t paralleling, I was getting further away – they were going clockwise after all… Must be a figure of 8. Back down to the ‘crucial’ point, and sure enough where there once was circles, now there were arrows. Tip Toe ahead of me?? and Frozen?? I guess the hares had changed the trail in between the FRBs and the DFLs! Somewhere ahead Brown Finger and Graven were calling, and at the final circle I joined them.

A cheeky loop back behind a ruined temple brought us back to the A – I recall the same hare using the same loop previously, so I managed to run into the circle site while the hares were still sweating. Short, but sweet – I don’t think anyone needed to do much more this time!