Tag Archives: Obscene

2nd July – CSH3 – HRA

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 7.0/10 (1 vote cast)

There are a few hares in history who are well remembered for losing hashers on trail… for hashers coming in in the dark as the circle ended… We don’t need to name names, but some of us have feared for our lives being left on trail in the dark. HRA is the latest to join that distinct haring club!

There was rain all day, it was miserable… As beer monster I had a duty to deliver beer to the medium sized group that braced the elements. HRA was nervous – something in his demeanour was even more concerned than usual – we even saw him several times out on trail, when any normal hare would have been snuggled in the shelter with a beer. The hare brief wasn’t brief – multiple Wimp trails… unmarked but for an arrow (an arrow that could have said “Save yourselves!!!”). When he finally pointed out the direction, even then it took us a while to find trail. Finally Obscene and I could call and set off away from the hills to a junction where surely there should have been a check, and perhaps pre rain there might have been, but there definitely wasn’t anymore. We found trail and continued into shiggy covered rice fields.

The side effect of rain is mud, and this was heavy going. The soles of everyone’s shoes gained 3 inches. Slogging along on the flat trails away from the mountains, we headed into shanty town. It had grown a lot since the last time we ran through (the AGFU)… Ah yes the AGFU, when we ran many of the same trails, when they were dry, and didn’t involve slip sliding around. We got to what looks like a wet moobaan development, and a circle had the pack spread out to the left. To the right I saw the hare, and headed towards him and trail. While most of the pack followed, Turkish short cut his way to the lead, and took advantage of the torrential rain to not bother calling. It was a clusterfuck. I couldn’t see without my glasses, hardly anyone could hear even if we were calling, and the paper to mark the trail was soggy anyway. What the fuck are we doing?

Of course it wouldn’t take long before Turkey fucked up. But then there was a check that fucked everyone up. Mostly as it was in a moobaan and the rain was so loud nobody could hear anything. HRA was on his bike like a sheep dog rounding us up and shepherding us in the right direction. Having lost ground there I took some time to catch up with Pigshit (who was “walking” today – wtf?), Shagless, ABB, Toe Sucker, Sex Pistol, Obscene… A bit of a meander and finally Sloppy was in sight, leading the way, and enjoying having first choice at a check on the road that surely took us home. He slow danced his way towards the A, insisting that I checked the “dummy run”… Well Fuck You Sloppy! You got it wrong!

We turned away from the A and headed for the hills… 5-6km in and now we were hitting the hills? What was HRA thinking? I second guessed a False Trail, and led the way up the hill. From there many checks were straight on back towards the A. For a while CW was getting 2nd choice on the checks, but refusing to see an alternative way… Finally he caught up, and when he picked it, he was off and home sailing all the way down and home. A LONG 9km run. The circle was mostly missing the hare, who was riding his bike around looking for hashers, and Sups, who was driving his car in search of Superbitch (what a husband!). Finally as the circle closed Superbitch, Anything and Bubble Head came in – at least Bubble Head had a smile on his face. I guess he was smiling that HRA just joined his Dad’s club!

23rd June – CH4 – Anything

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

When Anything teams up with Chilly Pussy we never know what to expect – fortunately it is mushroom season, so they may have cut the run shorter to gather more mushrooms! We set off and my inhaler had no puff, so I would have to be careful about my asthma – damnit! Second check and there were 2 parallel trails, at least I thought they were parallel, and got to learn the hard way that they weren’t – CW got the right trail, I took the left, and wrong one. I could easily have cut across to join him, but was confident my lovely trail met his just around the corner. I was wrong. Horribly wrong.

Finally I managed to cut back across and found trail at the back with Cougar, Doesn’t Get It and Bobble Head. Having gone up the wrong hill, I then had to work my way up another hill. There was Toe Jam going the wrong way. I slowly picked off runners by sticking on the nice trail, that was 10m to the left of the scramble the hares had marked. Past Tiptoe, who was mixing it with the ladies… There was Obscene, and Cumalot… And then Kwazi, Shagless & Does Nothing. I kept it steady, but slowly reeled people in.

And then when the trail finally broke left there was 2.5km without checks to get back. I had a glimpse of ABB & Motorboat ahead and later Barbindoll, but was forced to take it steady to control my breathing. Damnit – these are great running trails, I just want to run! Even Kwazi started to close me down towards the end, but I wasn’t going to allow that humiliation! Nice set from a kind and gentle Anything!

Fly By

9th June – CH4 – Chuck Wao

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

Chuckie from the Fire Prevention Centre – convenient to get to from work, so I toddled my way along from the office to see what we had in store. 6km he said… Yikes I thought… Knowing the kind of runs CW sets, that suggested he would be lenient on the hills, so my guess was over towards the Ag centre. Clockwise, or Anti-clockwise? When he pointed us off up the hill, I was pretty sure of roughly where we going – anticlockwise.

Little Obscene was tearing along with youthful early run exuberance – I doubted that would last for long. Past the huts, and along the pipe. At the first circle, there was only one direction I was headed, and sure enough there was the paper. Really nice trails – clear of leaves, clear of rocks, even with the rain it wasn’t slippy. The bamboo railings were new and made progress easy. Another check and this time to get to the trail we had to navigate past some fallen bamboo. It took me some time to get past, so I knew it would slow down those behind me – and sure enough I was on trail. I took off, headed downhill. At one point I was aware of a trail coming in from the right, but I was moving so fast that I had got to the false trail marking before my brain had processed the possibility. Fortunately I got back on trail before the pack were breathing down my neck.

I pushed on, getting another few checks right. And then another false trail – you sly bugger you! Luckily it didn’t take too much to cut across and I was back on and things were going well. No sign of the pack behind me. The trail went cross country, but not really shiggy. The paper emerged back out onto a trail with a circle check. Surely it would be down to the Ag Center? I went down, 100++ meters and nothing – damnit! I went back and past the check going up hill as I heard the pack closing in on me. From there is was uphill, and from the strava flyby it seems Piggy waited at the check for me to find it before firing up the hill after me. Man they were closing me down fast – Piggy & HRA. I pushed hard, but they were getting closer. Finally I hit another trail and a circle check. It had to be down, and it was my choice. I was slow heading down the hill – catching my breath, taking a pee, letting the faster guys do some more climbing… Finally I was on, called and ran off down the hill.

We got down to the Ag centre trails, and they weren’t far behind me. Another circle and I picked left. After 120m I had a good view down the trail, and no sign of paper, so I turned back. Piggy was chatting to a dog walker who had definitely seen paper the direction I was checking. He urged me to check further, while he continued chatting up the young lady. I finally got to paper, but I was clearly too far. I tried to sign language to Piggy, as HRA called the true trail. Bugger it, I carried on and got to the hare escorting Tiptoe to a shot cut. From here we just had the connect back over to the A, and HRA got the best of it. Good run, good route, good circle, shame about the Mexican!