Tag Archives: Chilly Pussy

4th August – CH4 – Pigshit & Baaabe

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To my knowledge we hadn’t used the shelter before, but we were within a 100m of another runsite, out behind the canal road football field. Some good trails around here… – what would Piggy put together? We were set off and I was determined to walk for a bit. Immediately a V check – but the trail to the right was too tempting, so I went left. Straight away I could see something stuck to a tree up ahead, but had to get close to see if it was a check back, or a circle – luckily it was a circle, but I promptly got it wrong and had to play catch up down the hill. The checks came thick and fast, keeping us together and the lead rotating – good job hares!

Another few checks and we were trudging up a nice trail towards a great ridgeline and the Runner trail set off that way with the Walker trail heading down again – I do enjoy running that ridgeline trail. We’ve run it from several different runsites – Ob Kham, here, and even from near the quarries 5km along Sameong road. No matter where from, it is a great ridge trail – nice views, and nice gentle undulation. There was some blatant silent running ahead, but then somehow I got ahead, but CW was right on my tail. As we headed closer to the end of the right, I didn’t want to be 2nd to the ‘next check’. Surely everyone would know it was down to the right? Foolishly I gave that away and CW took full advantage. It turned out the hare had put a false trail, and I’d unwittingly given it away. CW, Scooby, Tasty and I headed down the hill, with Scooby & CW trading checks ahead of us like prize fighters. Down, up, around, through, and we were back to where the Walkers met the Runners.

I was back behind Chilly Pussy, a quick glance at my watch said 4km in, so 2-3km still to go, and everything kicked out by the walkers. Ack! The rest of the trail was pulling in walkers one by one. I had a brief chat with Anything as I passed her, and then Does Nothing was quick to point out that we’d passed the OnIn when I caught him so I followed protocol and walked in with him.

Really nice trails, and as Square Rooter put it, a nice combination of familiar trails. Perhaps we need qualifications for those who pick the walker route!

14th July – CH4 – Chilly Pussy

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Chilly teamed up with Anything to set a run from the left side of canal road. Yup, the left side… I could remember a couple of runs from that area, and the runsite was somewhat familiar. We knew straight away it would be flat. And also it would be wet – it wasn’t raining now, but it had been. It has been raining the kind of rain that signals the start of rice planting season, when the paddies are flooded, and it is better if we stay off them…

The briefest of hare briefs sent us scurrying towards the mud. All different kinds of mud… Squelchy mud, squishy mud, slippery mud, mud hiding at the bottom of puddles, and mud plain to see. The first check, and CW went left, while I took the boys to check straight – if that was 100m, then I missed some paper – I nearly gave up before finally hitting the shredded paper. Another check, and my gut feeling said the run would be clockwise, so I went straight again, and sure enough found paper. I turned back and called ONON, my call drowned in the sounds of a tractor trying to move through a drenched muddy paddy. I could see Piggy continuing to check in the wrong direction, so bellowed until he turned back, before continuing.

Another check, and I thought I had it with an option to turn right, I wasn’t quite right, but did manage to find paper, joint with CW. Cuckold screamed like a girl, and nearly vanished into a sucky mud hole as he tried to cut across from our left. As good hashers our instincts were to rush over and help him, but better judgment quickly took over and we stood and laughed. He dragged himself out, but 5 steps later disappeared up to his neck again – that is one muddy mofo! Screw it, lets hash, and we continued into the rice fields… Yes… Bad hares… There were crops around… :(

A couple more checks, but the pack was still sticking together. Finally I found myself ahead, and a circle check. Surely it was to the right, so I took my time, and surely found the paper. When I did I was ready to run. Looking at the strava records from Terror Byte & 8-Bit, it seems that check probably wasn’t kicked out clearly, as the two boys went the long way around before getting back on paper. Anyway, that was the last check, but there was still 2km gruel to go… I pushed hard, with Piggy & CW chasing, and Cuckold in the mix too. We destroyed some rice crops, and crawled through barbed wire fences, wtf were the hares thinking? Finally we hit solid ground, and I knew we were close to home. I caught CW by surprise as I took off past him – I don’t deny it, I was being a racist bastard. I pushed, but could hear CW & Piggy over my shoulder – I knew they wouldn’t crack, it was just a question of whether I could hold on long enough… That is a question that remains unanswered, the cars were just about (almost) in sight as I gave in, and it would have been a photo finish for the virtual OnIn.

23rd June – CH4 – Anything

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When Anything teams up with Chilly Pussy we never know what to expect – fortunately it is mushroom season, so they may have cut the run shorter to gather more mushrooms! We set off and my inhaler had no puff, so I would have to be careful about my asthma – damnit! Second check and there were 2 parallel trails, at least I thought they were parallel, and got to learn the hard way that they weren’t – CW got the right trail, I took the left, and wrong one. I could easily have cut across to join him, but was confident my lovely trail met his just around the corner. I was wrong. Horribly wrong.

Finally I managed to cut back across and found trail at the back with Cougar, Doesn’t Get It and Bobble Head. Having gone up the wrong hill, I then had to work my way up another hill. There was Toe Jam going the wrong way. I slowly picked off runners by sticking on the nice trail, that was 10m to the left of the scramble the hares had marked. Past Tiptoe, who was mixing it with the ladies… There was Obscene, and Cumalot… And then Kwazi, Shagless & Does Nothing. I kept it steady, but slowly reeled people in.

And then when the trail finally broke left there was 2.5km without checks to get back. I had a glimpse of ABB & Motorboat ahead and later Barbindoll, but was forced to take it steady to control my breathing. Damnit – these are great running trails, I just want to run! Even Kwazi started to close me down towards the end, but I wasn’t going to allow that humiliation! Nice set from a kind and gentle Anything!

Fly By

18th June – CSH3 – Shagless

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It is always very appreciated when the hares go out of their way to put on something special. Given the run directions I kinda thought the hares would do something special, but the directions read along the lines of “drive to the end of the earth, and then turn right and drive another 8km. There were encouraging hash signs pointing forwards to encourage us onwards into outstation territory – apparently there was no accommodation, and we would have to drive back!

The hare brief was one of the more elaborate I’ve witnessed. The hares role playing how we should act on trail, and giving clues to how confusing their run would be. So… There is a wimp rambo. The wimps would do a B->A, and the rambos and A->A. At some point in his dreams Shagless came up with this idea that wimps and rambos would meet on trail, but they should go in opposite directions. Wimps should follow pink, rambos follow white, and at no point should anyone get confused. I’m coming to the end of the 2nd paragraph and we haven’t set out on the run yet!

We were set off and Shit House pulled a Belly Dancer – sprinting to the first check only to get it wrong. The trail cut up a small hill to the road. Arriving with Piggy & CW, they didn’t want to check anywhere apart from where I went, and sure enough we were all right. A V check – in a completely unknown area, I had no advantage, I gambled wrong, and CW and I were then making our way back through the pack. Did I mention yet that I felt like shit – recovering from both a potentially deadly case of Man-Flu, and a hangover had me in a remarkably shabby state.

Looking at my GPS track afterwards, this run is really genius – really impressed with the hares for finding the trails in a completely new area. Catching up from checking the wrong way, we were heading up a hill, and up ahead Piggy was very confused. Maybe he didn’t hear the hare brief? He was talking about pink paper, and worried he was on the wimp trail. Nobody saw the check and it took a while before Turkish did the OnOn call. We went through a couple of checks – of course they weren’t obvious – we had no idea where we were, or where we were going. At some point I got to a check ahead with Cuckold, and there was Motorboat coming towards us…

Setting a trail where the walkers go the opposite direction to the runners along the same trail just sounds like a bad idea! Or is it a good idea? It is an idea for sure… WTF? It worked… We got to say hello… We got to cling to the side of the hill while Tiptoe charged towards us, and we got to dodge Chilly Pussy with her mushroom collecting team. Very different midpoint to the run, and then we were off again.

A great check where nobody spotted the 3rd trail option, and suddenly ABB was leading the way back down the hill. I was feeling worse and worse. I was mostly walking, trying to keep pace with those doing the checks. Fortunately I managed to get to the “obstacle” in the first batch. The hares had arranged a raft to take us across the fast flowing river with escorts swimming us across. I took a moment to crash on the raft. It didn’t make me feel better. So I let the runners take off along the other side of the river. Some how the checks held up the pack, although the raft ride did separate groups along the trail. I confess I may have put paper slightly wrong off a check, but it wasn’t much. We negotiated another creek crossing, and back across the bridge to the A.

Really good run, a really good circle, and a really good OnOnOn. Cuckold estimated 6-8 paragraphs for a write up. How long is a piece of string?

1st December – CH4 – Chilly Pussy

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Chilly Pussy teamed up with Anything, which immediately got me worried – they can be a deadly duo! The initial pace was reserved, everyone saving themselves for what could be in store. There were a couple of good checks that kept people together early on, as we skirted along the bottom of a hill. The hill loomed closer – would we go up it? or back to the flat lands to the left? A circle check at the base of the hill had us foxed.

I headed up the obvious trail heading up the mountain for 150m or so – no sign of paper, but I was reluctant to lose the elevation I’d gained while no-one else was calling… I paused for a while, but noone else was calling. I skirted around the edge of the ridge, and would you believe it – there was the pink paper – off trail but still climbing up the hill towards me! ON ON! I shouted my lungs out thinking perhaps no-one would hear me – I was so far up the hill already.

I plodded on, and eventually Brown Finger & Dead Virgin appeared through the trees behind me – at least someone was following, but why weren’t they calling? A check had the racist BF pass me, and I followed him along the ridge line before the hares took us steep off the side of the mountain. I did my best monkey impression swinging from tree to tree, quickly pulling back the timid BF, only to pass him just before the On-In! Short but sweet! Now, everyone knows I’m not racing to ‘win’, I’m just out there having fun 😉 but it isn’t often you get the chance to chase Brown Finger down and catch him up!

7th September – CSH3 – Anything

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Anything, teamed up with Chilly Pussy, a deadly combination! Having set the most lethal runs for the past few years this was a run that needed mental preparation for… No point making excuses, it’s game time… The strategy was to take it steady early on and save energy for the inevitable later stages.

Out of the bus stormed a team of Chiang Rai hashers – hair perfectly manicured, t-shirts gripping to their pecs and accentuating their biceps. They waved their Princeton graduation certificates flexed and soon gathered a flock of harriettes worshipping them. Oh, and Namron was there too…

We set off up the hill, and I instantly got the first check wrong. Not to worry, I dragged Princeton boy off on my first parallel run – the only problem was it wasn’t quite parallel – not quite perpendicular, but certainly not heading in the right direction! We ended up going over a small hill to rejoin the pack with Humperdick and Square Rooter taking joy in my mistake…

Up another hill, and the hashers spread out on the trail with Patrick seemingly in the lead. I got back towards the front, just in time to get another check wrong. Turned out it was the last check – and we had a 2-3km stretch without checks to take us back. As the trail turned back, I opted for another parallel run – it was technically further, but much easier going, and I popped up ahead of Patrick. Namron had the bit between his teeth and quickly closed us down, sprinting through in search of ‘victory’.

Surprisingly short from Anything, I feared for worse… – perhaps she is lulling us into a false sense of security?

Sat 18th May – CSH3 – Chilly Pussy

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When Chilly Pussy and Anything get together, they are evil… Last year they set the 2 most brutal runs of the year, what would today have to offer?? Belly Dancer had to make his own lunch as Anything wasn’t back in time from setting it – ominous! I’ve not really run for a few weeks, but None of Your Business was keen to go along, so I dragged myself out to the runsite – near Ob Kham.

We set off and for the first km or so there were no checks – Chuckie and I just ran along together until the trail turned right into a familiar quarry area. THe first V check had CW go up the hill and me go around the bottom – I hit the check back, but there are only 2 real options, and both trails meet up again, so I paralleled. We lost sight of paper a few times, but picked our way to a circle, after which the trail started heading up. Man it was hot!

We climbed with Skiddy not so far behind with I Got Gas. Another couple of checks had me and CW working as a team, with a group within earshot behind. The trail arced up a ridge to the critical point – is it going left or right? Right seemed further, but it was back towards Chilly Pussy’s house, and where Belly had been seen darting off towards at the start of the run.

We were still out in the middle of the jungle, and a circle check. It turned out to be the last circle check, even though there was a good few km to go, complete with twists and turns. Brutal? Yes, very! Anyway, I got it wrong, and made a bad call arcing around, so ended up way off the pace. Did I mention the heat? And my trainers were causing blisters. We still had a few hills to go. Up and down, aaaargh!

I saw Square Rooter behind me, and finally caught up with I Got Gas, Skiddy, and saw some guy from Phuket a bit ahead. It turns out Throbbing Ninja snuck through while I was checking as well, and she ran a phenomenal run. Where did that come from? The last runners were in the dark. Brutal – yes!

On On On at Barbindoll’s new restaurant – the good turn out had them struggling for chairs! 😀

6th March – CDH3 – Microwave

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It was Chiang Mai Diamond Hash’s first run and Microwave and Chilly Pussy… no, Frozen Dick… no, Chilly Pussy (!) were the hares! I had planned to arrive to the run on time. It began at 430 and I was off work at 330 thanks to shortened working hours during post-term paperwork madness week. I had even taken my running clothes to work with me as well as my running shoes… or had I??? F!@# – running shoes had been left in the kitchen and so I showed up about 20 minutes late which meant I was all on my own for the whole of the run. :(

The trail started out the back entrance of Microwave’s garden and along the road to a circle check. The sparse bits of paper were hard to see in the late afternoon sun and the first circle check that I came to hadn’t been kicked out. Nevermind! It was Chilly Pussy who came along to save the day! More than once I ran into her sweeping along on her motorbike checking to see that things in were in order. It was an interesting run that the hares had laid cutting across unusual fields to latch onto some nice and pleasant trails.

At a V-check, I was sure that the trail should go right, but it had been kicked out suggesting that the trail should go left… hmmm. I followed left like the V said I should only to get to another V – or so I thought – and dutifully searched for the next trail, which I couldn’t find, because as it turned out, the “V” was actually a partially kicked out arrow pointing hashers back in the direction from which they came… so I guess the first V had been kicked wrongly in the first place – INSTINCTS!!!

And I was off again heading towards the hills. Well, not steep hills particularly, but dense with trees and somewhat disorienting without other people calling anything. LOADS of circle checks had been set and though they had been kicked out, there weren’t often clear trails in front of the direction that they had been kicked. More than once, it took me an unusually long time to find the trail – something that the hares were iced emphatically for by the bunnies as they had also had a difficult time. Finally, I could feel that trail was heading back to the A and just as soon as that thought popped into my head, there was Microwave pulling up on her bike to make sure that I was alright. It was an excellent trail really that would have been a lot fun had I not been on my own – oh well.

The bunnies hadn’t waited for me to start the run, but had been waiting for me to start the circle – cheers! Throbbing Ninja, Unplugged and Anything did their best to control the circle, but all of the excitement had girls fluttering about with their cameras to capture the momentous occasion. Junglicious earned herself the first CM Diamond Hash wings and following some delicious food from Sweet Pea, some of ladies headed back into town for who knows what kind of debauchery. Until next month… On-On Big Top

6th January – CH4 – Can’t Stop Cumming / Cock Climber

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I got up around 7 this morning to finish setting the fucked up hangover run, promptly vomiting from sun sickness. With sleep deprivation and a long(ish) drive back from Mae Moh, I rated my chances of making the run as slim – HRA had written them off! After an afternoon nap, I felt slightly recharged and persuaded Unplugged that we should go along. I was looking forward to it, as I was curious what the two virgin hares would put on for us – I feared a testing challenge, but you never know…

Before the run they had invented some new checks – some kind of Menage a Trois check – which looked like a small cock. The hare brief was comprehensive, with details given about how far to important checks, and ominously the hares encouraging us to give up part way through and come back… UhOh…

We set off in the direction we were pointed, only to come back and go down a ramp to the quarry and back up the other side. My legs were already aching! We went through a number of checks, and also a number of former run sites – run sites that appeared to be closer to the run, although not as spectacular as the view across the quarries.

A circle check thwarted us for a while as nobody wanted to check down, away from the main path we’ve used so often before. It’s useful to know there is another trail there, but it looked like the hares might have hacked their way through a bit. Then we started the serious climbing. Poor Red Carpet – used to the flats of Denmark and now subjected to the hills of Chiang Mai. Angry Inch was running all over the place like a leprechaun on acid. As we climbed the virgins were tested, and I didn’t see them again till the circle.

We passed the “cock check” and faced the decision – go back and do that 2.5km again, or go on and hope the next 6 might be better! Down in the Ob Khan valley, hashers faced a choice and Chilly Pussy led a group off to her house for a “short cut” back. The rest of us ploughed on and having gone over the hills one way, we’d have to go back over them to get back to the beer. Surely the hares had found a nice pleasant trail? No! These virgin hares were beset on punishing us!!! We somehow got onto a Square Rooter run that I remembered taking us back over the hills, and there were 2 sets of paper. Steep up, steep down and I hit the wall… Time to make my way back.

Fortunately I stumbled on a great trail that led me back down to the road and back in to the beer – an hour and a half!!! When all the hashers (we think) made it back in the last moments of daylight, the circle started. With immense efficiency, complete with primer notes the GMs tagged in and out. Actually I don’t remember ever a virgin circle being run as well. If the run hadn’t come after such a long weekend, I would probably have appreciated the hare’s efforts even more!

15th December – CSH3 – Belly Dancer / Big Top / Frozen Dick / Skid Mark – RUN 1,111

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The day had finally come, and it was time to head out to the biggest hash of the year – the biggest hash in a couple of years since the 1,000 run. I wasn’t feeling too well on account of Human Excrement, but managed to scramble my way out to the runsite a bit early to make sure everything was in order. There was a pervasive nervous tension around, or was that just my dodgy stomach? My ribs were hurting and I wasn’t sure I was up for the 11 grueling KM the hares had put together.

The first beer stop was immediate – great way to start, except that it was Chang, and I immediately wanted to vomit! Then it was chasing Frozen Dick’s live haring – with 11 minutes headstart of course! The crowd of around 90 set off and just around the corner had our 2nd beer stop. Across the carpark was the 3rd beer stop with a 4th on the reservoir wall. Time for a group photo and for the pack to split between the ‘long run’ and the ‘short run’.

The hares had given me some inside information about the start of the long run, so I had little choice but to take that option, and led the way towards the ‘zoo’. We’d been told something about just follow the trail and just through the gate there would be a circle check. Well we went through a gate and spread out looking for trail. Sadly you can rely on hashers fucking things up, and the gate was somewhere else. Plenty of time eaten up already and we hadn’t even found the trail.

When we found the circle, it was a tricky one, and took another 10 minutes or so before Dead Virgin picked up the scent and we were off. The circles were pretty small (quarter A4), and we missed the 2nd circle check, but eventually found the trail further on. My ribs were killing me – I really shouldn’t have been running, and promptly collapsed vomiting on the trail, which didn’t help at all.

OnOn, and the pack was brought back with some skiddy sticks. Anal Birth found the trail off to the right and gave the least inspiring call in history. The checks had been screwing with us, and at one point we’d done 3km in an hour. This was going to be a long 11km. Finally we emerged and saw Frozen and Skiddy checking on our slow progress. Another regroup, and by now my ribs were just a dull constant agony, so I had a bit of a run with Alice past another reservoir. Great running trails all over the place, and the pace picked up. We took a sharp turn up some steps and found a circle. As I checked straight on all of a sudden I heard Graven calling confidently to the right and Alice calling confidently to the left. There were OnOns all around me and in my confused state I had no idea where to go, so I kept on forwards and finally intercepted the trail on top of a ridge. Alice came running up to me, and we jogged on together with a large part of the pack having missed out the whole mountain part of the run.

I had very little idea where we were, but the checks had been kicked out so I just kept jogging along until we bumped into Screwed Up complete with beer for another beer stop. He had no idea what was going on and nor did Chilly Pussy just around the corner. Finally we saw Big Top holding a sign on the other side of a little lake, begging us to swim across to her – it was a short cut! I gave Mr. Poo my watch and jumped in leaving Poo and Alice to jog off the long way around the lake. We were definitely not a pack any more, but Suckit appeared as I was climbing out and duly jumped in for a swim. Dead Virgin took the swim option too.

Along the road a bit and we found Angry Inch running towards us, eventually figuring out where we were and found trail leading into the last 4 beer checks. I think I missed a beer check, and some how passed the other long run runners. Oh well, I’d done enough and had to get the circle started while the remaining runners made it back in fits and starts – Semen Soars being the last man in as the circle closed, and Cumalot strolling along with her headphones.

OnOnOn to the river market for some excellent food and some more post run analysis. Thanks to all who put in so much effort – and thank goodness it’s over! 😉

My GPS track has gained a bit of distance as I forgot to switch it off…