Tag Archives: Terror Byte

14th July – CH4 – Chilly Pussy

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Chilly teamed up with Anything to set a run from the left side of canal road. Yup, the left side… I could remember a couple of runs from that area, and the runsite was somewhat familiar. We knew straight away it would be flat. And also it would be wet – it wasn’t raining now, but it had been. It has been raining the kind of rain that signals the start of rice planting season, when the paddies are flooded, and it is better if we stay off them…

The briefest of hare briefs sent us scurrying towards the mud. All different kinds of mud… Squelchy mud, squishy mud, slippery mud, mud hiding at the bottom of puddles, and mud plain to see. The first check, and CW went left, while I took the boys to check straight – if that was 100m, then I missed some paper – I nearly gave up before finally hitting the shredded paper. Another check, and my gut feeling said the run would be clockwise, so I went straight again, and sure enough found paper. I turned back and called ONON, my call drowned in the sounds of a tractor trying to move through a drenched muddy paddy. I could see Piggy continuing to check in the wrong direction, so bellowed until he turned back, before continuing.

Another check, and I thought I had it with an option to turn right, I wasn’t quite right, but did manage to find paper, joint with CW. Cuckold screamed like a girl, and nearly vanished into a sucky mud hole as he tried to cut across from our left. As good hashers our instincts were to rush over and help him, but better judgment quickly took over and we stood and laughed. He dragged himself out, but 5 steps later disappeared up to his neck again – that is one muddy mofo! Screw it, lets hash, and we continued into the rice fields… Yes… Bad hares… There were crops around… :(

A couple more checks, but the pack was still sticking together. Finally I found myself ahead, and a circle check. Surely it was to the right, so I took my time, and surely found the paper. When I did I was ready to run. Looking at the strava records from Terror Byte & 8-Bit, it seems that check probably wasn’t kicked out clearly, as the two boys went the long way around before getting back on paper. Anyway, that was the last check, but there was still 2km gruel to go… I pushed hard, with Piggy & CW chasing, and Cuckold in the mix too. We destroyed some rice crops, and crawled through barbed wire fences, wtf were the hares thinking? Finally we hit solid ground, and I knew we were close to home. I caught CW by surprise as I took off past him – I don’t deny it, I was being a racist bastard. I pushed, but could hear CW & Piggy over my shoulder – I knew they wouldn’t crack, it was just a question of whether I could hold on long enough… That is a question that remains unanswered, the cars were just about (almost) in sight as I gave in, and it would have been a photo finish for the virtual OnIn.

4th October – CSH3 – Belly Dancer

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Belly teamed with his favourite co-hare for a run near Ob Kham. Not the run site they’ve used before, but just around the corner… After hearing about the brutality of Monday, I guessed it would be a tamer affair, so checked in earlier in the week and was told it was ‘kid-friendly’, and encouraged to let Matty (Terror Byte) & Danny (8-Bit) out on the run for almost the first time.

We set off with my boys setting the early pace, until Brownie and I swept past into some horticultural centre. A couple of checks had the pack stuck together. Then there was a good check that had me way off course to the right, while the trail went up the hill to the left. I followed Stumbling Dyke up the hill as Terror Byte was already fading behind. Another circle check, and everyone milling around. Nobody wanting to check down a steep hill, and most going up. I followed Taste My Buns down, and sure enough we were on.

Definition – “Kid Friendly” – a run that is safe and fun for kids of all ages – in the hope they get motivated to continue hashing in the future!

The trail descended into a treacherous gully, I was sliding down clinging from tree to tree. I don’t think anyone survived without falling. It wasn’t long before I was bleeding from my middle finger. It wasn’t any definition of friendly that I know. Tasty Buns reassured me that it would be easier for the kids – they are closer to the ground right? Damnit… Nowhere I can go anyway – we’re in a single person gully, trying to stop falling more quickly down.

At the bottom Gorf and I hit the road, I went right, he went left. I could hear the screams and wails on the descent, hoping it wasn’t my boys. I was expecting the trail to go to the right, but sadly it went left. It was going to be up a steep mountain – I knew it had to go over the top to get into the valley the other side. We were 30 minutes in, heading up hill away from the A bucket. I turned back to find the kids. Not far back 8-Bit was walking along with Knockout. He was battered, bruised and bleeding, but in high spirits – perhaps because of Knock Out for company? Further back on the trail, there was Matty who’d picked up Snail Trail and Baaabe. There I was worried, and the boys were busy picking up older women?! Excellent Hashing Behaviour!

Probably more of a male hash than a Saturday hash – I can guess the other half of the trail, and in other circumstances it would have been a good one. OnOn.

11th August – CH4 – Horny Monkey

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Horny kindly stepped up to the plate so I could spend the day with Terror Byte for his birthday, so I figured around 5pm, it was time to get away, get some exercise and see what he’d come up with… Expectations are generally low when you see HM on the hareline, and he generally finds a way to fall short of even the lowest expectations…

Anyway, the fitness park between CMU & the zoo – about 800m from Horny’s house, the closest you could get… Rather than waiting for the rain to stop this morning, he headed out to lay trail. Failing to prepare is like preparing to fail, and when HM realised that powder probably wouldn’t last long, he cut up about 5 pages of the yellow pages (into tiny tiny squares) and proceeded to try and set a run with it. The yellow pages has several properties – first when it gets when it quickly vanishes, 2nd, when it is cut small enough it looks exactly like the leaves it’s been dropped in and when used sparingly, is impossible to lay a trail with!

Horny also forgot about taking anything with which to lay checks, so improvised by graffiti – spray painting circles on the street. And it turned out the street was in CMU. We had to climb over a gate to break into the uni grounds – as I work there, I wasn’t sure quite what to think, but hey – On On! Confusion reigned from the start of the run, until the point that the majority of the pack abandoned the effort…

Highlights(?) or lowlights(?)… Well, laying the trail through the College of Arts Media and Technology – I hope no one recognised me! HM also decided to skirt around the women’s dorm, and take us right by the Men’s Dorm – anything we should know? Anyway – across the other side of the uni, by my office, with cars driving all around us, it was impossible to hear anyone call, and trail was hard to find, so I gave in and headed back to the B site (fortunately HM had told us he was taking us ‘home’). Not far behind me, half the rest of the pack also gave up (but without really knowing where HM lived) – fortunately I intercepted them walking aimlessly around on Huay Kaew Road. As for the rest? Who knows? After close to an hour and a half, I set off home for dinner with Terror Byte.