Tag Archives: Alice

20th October – CH4 – Alice

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Alice is always the hare these days! But at least he is liking “my area” in Doi Saket… Except, his focus is on the other side of the canal to where I normally go. And despite teasing us today, he stuck with the area he has been scouting. A big turnout today, with 2 songthaews! With visitors and the returning Graven, we were a big pack to set off.

The first check was a no brainer – I’d seen the paper on the drive in, so I told CW not to bother with the alternative and ran off to confirm the On call. Then to the canal, and I was right again, convinced we were heading to the bridge. I didn’t spot it straight away as I was the wrong side of the road, but locked in and headed to the bridge I often use. A circle check on the exact same tree that I have stapled circle checks before. I was at home, and guessed through the abandoned moobaan. I know exactly where to place the 100m paper, and today there was no paper there. I checked a bit further, but nothing. I headed back to the circle and was even pondering going back over the canal when there was a call… We all stormed off only to find a confused Sex Pistol and Blows Herself… Apparently SP had called over to BH “was that an ONON?”

Poo found it from a goat trail back across the canal, and nicely regrouped we trudged down narrow shiggy trails for a bit. It was actually a neat connection – one that I should have used a few months ago, but last time I set there it was pissing it down, and I simply couldn’t be arsed to explore enough. Alice found a much nicer little trail, and there were plenty more options here – saved for the future! I got stuck in the pack for a bit, making little progress until we turned left, and the shape of the trail was coming clearer. Back to trails that I knew, and Angry Inch was charging along ahead, shortcutting to get there, but ahead… for now….

We ran past a soi, and my attention was alerted, not just because it went in the right direction, but also I thought I could see something white in the distance… Sure enough there was a circle check around the corner. I turned back and ambled up the soi, checking idly, while CW also clued in and joined me. Once we were duly convinced, we took off and found a V. I went left, he went right, and after a while I heard a muffled check back. The last few checks were going home checks and I managed to stay clear of the chasers and got to the hares final treat! A sick, filthy infested water crossing. I pondered for a nanosecond and then took the plunge. I hope I am still alive tomorrow as there was some filth festering at the bottom of that. When I saw the OnIn I couldn’t help but wait to see CW’s reaction as he arrived with Piggy.

Nice run – particularly liked Angry Inch finding the wrong canal and taking the long way home!

17th October – CH3 – Pigshit

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Piggy has caught me on the all time stats for CH3, so to put off the inevitable, I slipped out of my lab and made it to the runsite just as the run was kicking off. I changed while I listened to the harebrief… He was being frank and upfront – we weren’t going to like it, he didn’t expect many to do it, and we should bail out at any opportunity. After that, most seemed like they’d be happy enough sitting around for a beer rather than touching the trail! The warning was fair enough, I would heed it.

I walked for a bit at the start chatting to Alice, and relaxing from the day. We followed the usual route, and then a check at the split. Nobody calling, so I set off up the hill, for a few steps before Chuckie called us along the creek. I splashed through the puddles to annoy Sheep Shagger. Then when CW turned left up the hill, we all smelled a false trail. So I took 2 steps further on and found paper. I jogged along for a bit, and promptly realised I had left my inhaler in the car, during my rushed afterwork change. Damnit. Over half a K in, I nearly turned back, but decided to continue and try to control my breathing.

For a while I knew where this was going. A circle check, and I didn’t see him heading towards the Ag Center, and I would have been very impressed if he had found the trail over back around the top on short notice. I went straight on up, and sure enough found paper. Another check and I continued up, but then veered off to the left. Over 100, this wasn’t it, but it had to be up, and this trail was bending back to the right. In the end I hacked my way across a bit of a ravine and saw the paper continuing straight up the hill. I think behind CW was getting all the bad luck dutifully checking downhill each time.

Another check and again I went up, but this time, there was nothing. I came back down and watched while Angry Inch stood at the circle listening to Chuckie checking off to the left. The only other option was down, but he waited for me to go check there first. Sure enough down took us to the creek, and the “W” option to head back down. Tempting though it was, I followed trail a bit more and we crossed the creek and climbed a killed hill. I hate that climb after the creek… I guess the steepness just hits my elevation gain threshold? Every time I’ve done it, it saps my energies. Just a little too steep? After already climbing to there? I dunno, but when we plateaued there was no check. That told me a lot. False trail ahead? That was my hope… I hoped there would be a false trail, and nobody would be forced to climb higher up…. Did the hare know the trail goes to Doi Pui? I hunted around a bit looking for alternative paper, but there was none. HRA joined me as I started following trail again. We started chatting about the “W”, that he hadn’t seen, and we talked each other into turning back and heading down. We pretended Mr. Poo didn’t see us. At the plateau, where there was no check, we traversed to the other trail (60m) and sure enough found the rest of the trail heading down.

Sorry Piggy for not completing your challenge… But another 200m elevation gain after I pulled out? I think I made the right decision!

6th October – CH4 – Kwazi Moto

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Kwazi decided to set the run from Sleeps On It’s farm in Maejo. I was late – bloody student late for the exam today, and then I kindly waited for her to finish. When I got to the car I realised I didn’t have my shoes so had to go home on the way. We arrived as the pack poured out the gates, and Terror Byte jumped out to join the throng. Kwazi ambled over to give me a private hare brief while I changed. He was aiming for the “hare of the year” award…! Do we have an award like that?

I jogged off, and took a km or so to catch the pack. The trails out past Maejo interest me – there are some great trails there, but for most they are a bit far out to explore thoroughly. The start of the trail was familiar – the same as last time I was here, but the trail quickly turned north. The hare brief boasted only 100M for checks, but I dunno… these were definitely more than 100 long paces!

Tasty led the way up a hill, and Piggy joined in behind me as I tried to remind him where we were, and the last time we’d ran it. At the top, the virgin went left… ha! That was going back to the farm, it had to be right somewhere, and after TMB check 2 ways, and I checked a third, Piggy called us on at the 4th. Another circle, and I was 3rd to get there… Piggy went straight, TMB took the trail back to the right. I dithered, and dathered… OK I didn’t like the look of hacking my way to the left. Finally Alice called us on down to the left – excellent check hares, and my bad.


Tiredness was already kicking in, so I wasn’t going to push the checking too much, just using energy to stay with the pack. “7.5KM” was ringing in my ears. The wimp trail was marked off to the left, tempting, but I carried on. And then there was a fantastic trail with great views, before a hardcore descent when everyone was running hard letting gravity do the work. HRA took the lead with another nice check, and this was one of those ideal hashes where everyone was kept together by smart checks.

We got to a lake, and it was 50/50… To the left side, or the right side… I was wrong, as were most, and we were chasing HRA around the right side of the lake. Of course another check foiled him, and “Dancing Queen” took the lead. HRA screwed up when trail cut off sharply to the right, and then gleefully laughed his was as he short cut around a house to a circle…. Som Nam Na amigo, as he promptly got the next check wrong. Square Rooter was in the mix grinning away as he had a stadium view of what was going on up front.

The trails had been great, the checks great, the pack was together… Kwazi was definitely making himself a candidate for hare of the year, until the last km or so, when he gave up on trail, and just did a random shiggy hack to get back. Alice and Baldrick squealing like piglets trying to shake the ants off after the final barbed wire scramble. Finally the OnIn, and finally back… I could have done with a nap then…

29th September – CH4 – Alice

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Finally a run in Doi Saket! There are some great trails out here, and I’ve been looking forward to running someone else’s trail for so long. Alice like a master magician threw some misdirection at me last week, which worked – last time I trust him! 😉

Finding the runsite wasn’t straightforward, but we eventually grouped up and got ready for the run – would it start at 4:30? 5? or 5:30? Fortunately the hare seemed to know, and we were sent off at 5. Obscene skipping eagerly ahead at the beginning. I got a couple of checks right, particularly a hidden V check and a clear false trail, so I was way ahead, only to get royally screwed over when the hare decided not to cross the canal and head towards the Chinese Cemetery. Wow! My dream of the perfect hash was blown up, and I was playing catch up.

Today’s checks were clearly the work of a masterful hare, with pretty much all of them working to rotate the lead, and keep the pack together. There are better trails, but in terms of haring, and devious checks, it was spot on. I got back to the front a the smaller canal, when HRA spotted paper from the wrong side and had to come back. Another check at another bridge and then some confusing OnOn calls. I could have been right, but ended up so wrong after Toe Sucker confidently called on following HRA. I was wrong, badly wrong and met up with Angry Inch, who was also very wrong – we heard no On-Call, so Angry announced he would set off in a rough general direction. I was tempted, and chose another direction for a bit, before deciding to go back and be honest – amazing the “Strava effect”.


Back on trail, frustrating!!! I was so close to getting it first time, and now I was a long way back. Sometimes this scenario is game over, but even though we were heading towards home, the checks gave more opportunities to get back into the action. Back past the Chinese Cemetery, and everyone’s compass was pointing towards home. A nicer trail to the right lured several hashers and I caught up Piggy as he checked along the road to the left. A bit of shiggy, with a lazy water buffalo – makes you wonder – we do all this exercise, he wallows in mud, I was almost tempted to join him. Piggy got caught up on a nasty sticker scramble, to a circle. And a group formed again.

I smiled to myself! Everyone was going to the right, which was surely towards home, but surely now my home field advantage would finally pay off?! I went left, around the corner and sure enough there was paper! I was home free surely – not far to go now! The nice trail went off the road to the right, but there was no paper on it… Paper at the corner, but I was filled with a sense of doom as I headed towards it. I didn’t want to follow the road to the left, and when I found the FT there was no surprise. Damnit, damnit, damnit! Good job hare, you gotta love it when half the pack passes you so close to home. Chuckie got ahead, but he also got foiled by a V check almost at the death. In a scandalous break of tradition TMB gave Piggy the male wings and he gave himself the female wings too…. Ohohhh.. Really?!

17th Sept – CSH3 – TMB & Alice

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A long drive down to canal road, and gradually the sunset as I drove, for today was a full moon run. I arrived to confusion as someone decided to move the runsite, apparently scared of the full moon ghosts? We were set off at 7, torches in hand, and the paper was actually really easy to follow. At the first check, I eventually got it right, with Frozen spotting it in the distance before I did. I started putting a collection of checks together and put a bit of a spurt on the build up a lead – things were going well, until suddenly it hit me, I’m on my own… in the dark… This grass is really deep… “Snake!?” “Shit!”

Much of the trail was familiar, and yet so different at night. I got out to a mainer trail, and picked left. Yup, there was paper, but absolute silence behind me. The next junction had to be right, and sure enough paper again… This was going like a dream! I kept pushing and another circle. Based on what I’d picked up from the hares, I was sure at this point it was going to be clockwise, and we had to break to the right. Confidently I checked to the right… Nada… How about up this little trail? Nada, another one? Nada… So I got back to the circle, just as Toe Sucker arrived. So it was left – I guess left a bit more and then around further to the right?

I was still wrong and now Toe Sucker called on. I sped past her, wanting to continue my dream run, and of course turned right at the next check. I ran up the hill, but found nothing… I stood at the junction at the top in bemused confusion. Damnit!!! Finally there was a call from the left…. – Seriously this was going to be anti-clockwise afterall?!? I sprinted down the hill, angry at myself, and now deep into the middle of the pack, gradually picking off ABB, a visitor from the states and Cuckold. Another check and I arrived just as HRA called again from the left. OK, I can chase that old guy down!!! Angry Inch was running with me, but I upped the tempo and gradually opened up a gap on him, closing down on HRA, until from just ahead of me I heard “False Trail!”…. AAAAARGH!!!!!! We turned back and almost immediately there was the On call from Chuckie.

Excellent checks there, killed the racism in me perfectly! From somewhere Mr. Poo broke free, and apart from Turkish (who short cut massively), the blind man lead the pack out of the darkness to the beer! Excellent run – well thought out, using the right kind of trails for the conditions – I really enjoyed it, and running without the heat of the sun was really pleasant. From there the evening dragged on and on… A long gap after the run with food in the dark, before a long circle. I think I will struggle to stand up tomorrow, but because of standing through the circle rather than exertion on the run.

28th December – CSH3 – Square Rooter & Co…

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Square Rooter teamed up with Brown Finger, Big Top & Toe Sucker to bring us a ‘dirty’ new year run. With so many minds working together, what on earth would they come up with?

We set off and there were no checks for a kilometer, that was straight down a road – a fast start! Then turned abruptly and started up the hill, crossing onto some familiar trails that we’d run from Ob Khan before. Up to a ridge and the trail kept turning left – how? Several checks had me foxed because I expected us to end up running into old trails, but nope the sly hares had found another way down and I fortunately got lucky as we hit the checks at the bottom of the hill. A long flat section had Graven “following” me at the checks, along with Alice who was full of inside information!

We started scrambling up into the hills again, but now the checks were getting easier – unfortunately for me Sloppy Rod & Alice hit the front, along with “Grey Ham”. I preferred to hang back with Fandango, but we all managed to come in at the same time as the walkers on their walking trail. Except when I say “All”, I lie – as one visiting hasher didn’t make it back to the A. With the GM & hares exploring the hills in the dark, the circle was tough. Turns out the hasher was already back at the hash pub drinking beer.

All in all, a great run with plenty of challenge and a good warm up for next week’s ball breaker!

18th August – CH4 – Alice

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Alice comes all the way over from Saudi, and when he steps up to set a run, he generally puts plenty of effort it – generally! We heard from Baldrick about how he’d been awol all week hiking around the hills in search of virgins, or virgin trail. The bunnies also had a special run today though, so the numbers were a little low, so when I arrived with legs already aching from yesterday, it was ominous to see HRA & Humperdick (still recovering from Dengue) as the only true FRBs about. It could be interesting.

We set off and I got the first check wrong – typical! I rejoined Humps & HRA at the 2nd check, where HRA was forced to do the dummy run, the wrong way down the hill. The last time he made that mistake as he turned into a circle guard unless he was certain he was correct… We cut inland for a loop, before heading back out to the road through tall grass. Along the road a bit further before Alice found the trail he wanted us on, and we headed for the mountains. I was hitting the checks well, and doing my best to set a reasonable pace, but when I finally got one wrong, HRA, Square Rooter & Humperdick appeared right behind me.

A little confusion at the top of the hill and HRA managed to slip away from us as Bend Over and Baldrick joined us in a second pack trying to chase down the silent running HRA. We ran through another old runsite, and I realised just how far we had left to go… From then though the checks were mostly straight ahead, and we had no chance of hearing HRA again. I ended up doing the stupid checks right and left while Humperdick ran ahead and Bend Over guarded the checks.

All in all a damn good run, a bit over 7km so my legs will definitely be feeling it tomorrow!

31st March – CH4 – Humperdick

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Humpers took us to Ob Khan for the happy hash – a runsite quite familiar being the same A bucket as the 400th run. A reasonable turnout despite the Bunnies being the same day.

We were pointed out up a short rise to an early circle check. Only Angry Inch was interested in running – and he promptly got it wrong. I was feeling tired and lazy, and had little intention of putting too much into it, hoping I could stay with the FRBs for a while – except I kept hitting the checks. Thats great until a check is Skiddy sticks.

Nonetheless I led the way down and into some deathly canyons. Being at least vaguely familiar with the area, I didn’t expect him to take us into the depths of the canyons, as there was little way out. So, Alice took over towards the front, winding deeper and deeper into them. Finally I started climbing up a spine between 2 canyons, with virgin Brad, Graven Image and Human Excrement leading others up behind us. It turned out that was a good call, as it avoided an “unavoidable” climb for the rest. We went further, arcing around a ridge back to the trail, but still got to the descent first.

Graven led the way down, and by the time we saw Humps taking photos at the bottom, my legs were shot. Another ridge took it out of me, and gradually I lost the pace. A nice interesting set though, with an interesting canyon variation.

22nd December – CSH3 – Byte My Yahoo

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Christmas is coming and Byte My Yahoo was in a festive mood. Two minibuses full of hashers turned up at the Agricultural Centre to find Santa Claus, and the grinch (played by Frozen Dick) in full costume with powder and a sack of presents! During the hare brief we discovered that there would be presents at circle checks and that we should ingest, wear or solve them before moving on.

We set off, with Belly Dancer racing so fast that he made the first circle check! He unwrapped the present to discover sweets which he wasn’t going to share until Unplugged made him. We all know he’s on the naughty list this year! At the next circle check Mr Poo went the right way immediately but the paper was so far away he’d given up and was just wandering aimlessly when he found it. We carried on through the central field, to the left, round the wall and through the buildings. Angry Inch got a free dress, which he refused to wear! Luckily His Royal Anus had a better sense of humour and proudly FRBed the rest of the run in sartorial splendour.

The next great present was the beer stop. Skidmark stopped all the racist bastards who attempted to race off (notably Square Router and Snail Trail) until we’d finished the beer – and then we proceeded to fail to find the trail. By the time we found it going through the orchard even Pamela had caught up, with Slippery when Wet and several other walkers.

Across the dam, through the barbed wire and along through the white gate, up through the same small path, U-turn and back to 3 metres away from the entrance, same as for the last ag centre live hare and then back to the main lake. At this point Byte My Yahoo was waiting for the pack to spot him, waving at them and with several presents, including a wooden puzzle which would have to be solved before the pack moved on.

Sadly the half-minds completely failed to notice him and wandered straight in after the lake, beating the live hare to the circle! :) BMY wandered in, bemused, a while later to witness the finger pointing by Horny Monkey and others, though most agreed it was all Dead Virgin’s fault. In typical hash fashion we then went on to give him the wings and have the most disorganised gift exchange ever. Excellent hash behaviour and a Merry Hashmas to all! :)

15th December – CSH3 – Belly Dancer / Big Top / Frozen Dick / Skid Mark – RUN 1,111

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The day had finally come, and it was time to head out to the biggest hash of the year – the biggest hash in a couple of years since the 1,000 run. I wasn’t feeling too well on account of Human Excrement, but managed to scramble my way out to the runsite a bit early to make sure everything was in order. There was a pervasive nervous tension around, or was that just my dodgy stomach? My ribs were hurting and I wasn’t sure I was up for the 11 grueling KM the hares had put together.

The first beer stop was immediate – great way to start, except that it was Chang, and I immediately wanted to vomit! Then it was chasing Frozen Dick’s live haring – with 11 minutes headstart of course! The crowd of around 90 set off and just around the corner had our 2nd beer stop. Across the carpark was the 3rd beer stop with a 4th on the reservoir wall. Time for a group photo and for the pack to split between the ‘long run’ and the ‘short run’.

The hares had given me some inside information about the start of the long run, so I had little choice but to take that option, and led the way towards the ‘zoo’. We’d been told something about just follow the trail and just through the gate there would be a circle check. Well we went through a gate and spread out looking for trail. Sadly you can rely on hashers fucking things up, and the gate was somewhere else. Plenty of time eaten up already and we hadn’t even found the trail.

When we found the circle, it was a tricky one, and took another 10 minutes or so before Dead Virgin picked up the scent and we were off. The circles were pretty small (quarter A4), and we missed the 2nd circle check, but eventually found the trail further on. My ribs were killing me – I really shouldn’t have been running, and promptly collapsed vomiting on the trail, which didn’t help at all.

OnOn, and the pack was brought back with some skiddy sticks. Anal Birth found the trail off to the right and gave the least inspiring call in history. The checks had been screwing with us, and at one point we’d done 3km in an hour. This was going to be a long 11km. Finally we emerged and saw Frozen and Skiddy checking on our slow progress. Another regroup, and by now my ribs were just a dull constant agony, so I had a bit of a run with Alice past another reservoir. Great running trails all over the place, and the pace picked up. We took a sharp turn up some steps and found a circle. As I checked straight on all of a sudden I heard Graven calling confidently to the right and Alice calling confidently to the left. There were OnOns all around me and in my confused state I had no idea where to go, so I kept on forwards and finally intercepted the trail on top of a ridge. Alice came running up to me, and we jogged on together with a large part of the pack having missed out the whole mountain part of the run.

I had very little idea where we were, but the checks had been kicked out so I just kept jogging along until we bumped into Screwed Up complete with beer for another beer stop. He had no idea what was going on and nor did Chilly Pussy just around the corner. Finally we saw Big Top holding a sign on the other side of a little lake, begging us to swim across to her – it was a short cut! I gave Mr. Poo my watch and jumped in leaving Poo and Alice to jog off the long way around the lake. We were definitely not a pack any more, but Suckit appeared as I was climbing out and duly jumped in for a swim. Dead Virgin took the swim option too.

Along the road a bit and we found Angry Inch running towards us, eventually figuring out where we were and found trail leading into the last 4 beer checks. I think I missed a beer check, and some how passed the other long run runners. Oh well, I’d done enough and had to get the circle started while the remaining runners made it back in fits and starts – Semen Soars being the last man in as the circle closed, and Cumalot strolling along with her headphones.

OnOnOn to the river market for some excellent food and some more post run analysis. Thanks to all who put in so much effort – and thank goodness it’s over! 😉

My GPS track has gained a bit of distance as I forgot to switch it off…