Tag Archives: Big Top

9th March – CSH3 – Sloppy Rod / Geisha Gash

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The birthday pairing teamed up for a 2nd year, and this time took us out to Maejo – the reservoir behind the Tiger Camp. That was where I first co-hared with HRA, and I remember having fun scouting there. There are so many trails around, and with the experience of Sloppy, surely it would be a good run?

Sloppy arrived fairly early and told me the run was to just go around the lake. Was he bluffing? Was it real? Never trust the hares right?

He set us off over the dam wall, with Humperdick spotting the powder on top of the wall. There was a circle check at the end of the dam, and I decided to trust the hare, and picked the nice trail running along the back of the lake. It’s a narrow trail, and when I found the paper, I knew the pack would have trouble getting past the walkers. It also meant there would be no checks for a long time as there aren’t many trail options.

Finally Angry Inch came up behind me, and promptly got the one check wrong – we didn’t see him again for sometime! We crossed a boggy part, where Big Top lost her shoes. Finally we got to the end of the lake with the pack stretched out, only Horny Monkey and None of Your Business were near me as we crossed the road at the W/R split.

Then we hit some great running trails – the ideal trails for a training run. With the pack broken up, there was little chance of it coming back together. Running along with Horny Monkey at the front, we picked check after check right, and Horny wasn’t in the mood to check the wrong way. Graven eventually caught us up as we nearly got to the road in time for the jog along the tarmac back to the A. As the hare said, it was just around the lake – at least that was for the walkers. The Rambo trail added a great little jog.

2nd March – CSH3 – Chuck Wao

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One of Chuckie’s favourite runsites at the TV station, but for some reason there was a low turnout. I just don’t get why another hash has been set up to conflict with the existing hashes, rather than to compliment them! Sounds like the CH3 outstations are affected too. Anyway, politics aside, CW was proud that he’d laid the trail in just over an hour! Yikes!

We set off slipping and sliding down a leaf covered waterfall to the road, where after a while we hit a false trail. Horny had come up with the ingenious idea – while CW throws the skiddy sticks away, we should kick out the FT markings! We weren’t so cruel, and set off back to charge up the steep hill. Well, at least I did, hitting a couple of checks right until I was caught out by one and came back eventually to find a group of hashers stood staring at a rock covering a small pile of paper – ah yes it was the check, but were they checking? No!

It was left for me, Horny & Crazy Crack to do the checking as again and again I went the wrong way only to find the rest of the pack waiting for me to find the trail. Except for Big Top that is – no one knows where she was!

The circle was one where we had the chance to hear some of the quieter hashers giving splashes. Crazy Crack’s eloquent splash was a memory – “Big Top, you were in front of me, and then you were behind me, drink it down down down…”

24th Feb – CH4 – Itchy Bitchy

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I have vague memories of EVIL Big Top’s wise decision to buy 3 large Leo’s just after most people had gone home – leaving me, the sipping BT and the slurring Horny Monkey to consume them appropriately… Needless to say I wasn’t feeling too good this morning – I wasn’t feeling too good this afternoon either, and by run time I was feeling decidedly unsure about the whole idea.

Oh well, I’ll give it a go, and set off to the familiar ground of the Ag Centre – afterall I could always short cut if it didn’t work out… I wasn’t the only one who looked reluctant as we set off – the hare brief was more of a hare encouragement – for once nobody was chomping on the bit to get going, we could have easily stayed there a bit longer. Nope, it was on out, and I walked along with Chuckie discussing the relative merits of a ‘brisk walk’ over all that checking business.

Around the corner and there was the first check – true to my brisk walk intentions I sauntered along the dam – over 100m, but eventually I spotted some powder. Nice, I kept up the walk until I got to the next check just ahead of Mr. Poo. I had first pick and went up over the old run site on the hill, again taking my time to inspect the blob of white stuff on a rock to ensure it was the expected trail consistency. “On On”.

The pack followed and it was on to the next check – where I’d started the Santa run from. I mosied my way over to where there was a squarish looking piece of paper, and called back to Angry Inch for his recommendation. “On On”. A pattern was forming. I found the trail off each circle, ambled my way to the next check ensuring I had first pick so the chasing pack were forced to do the extra distance.

I had every intention of short cutting, but found myself tracking along nicely. Finally Chuck Wao and HRA caught me up and when I finally picked wrong at the last circle, the pair of them turned the run into a race and sprinted off. As I passed the On-In I found Graven Image, Mr Poo, Angry Inch coming from all directions after their badly disguised short cuts. Meanwhile the troopers like Humperdick and Unplugged did the whole run.

9th Feb – CSH3 – Big Top

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Big Top was the hare for the valentines themed run and with plenty of hashers staying over at the Insda resort for the hash wedding, setting the run from there seemed like a good idea…. It seemed like a good idea right up to the point when I parked the car and saw that there were only mountains around the resort. Ugh, it was going to be a climbing run.

The bus(es) arrived and we figured we could have a hare brief and set off with Angry Inch chasing me along the trail which abruptly turned up and so began the first ascent. God damnit I hate hills. We finally hit a flat trail part way up the mountain with a check – I picked right, which wasn’t right as right was actually left so quickly found myself behind a pack scrambling along the narrow trail.

The trail turned into a huge clearing with steep cliffs all around. Amid confusion, we spent a while searching for the inevitable skiddy sticks. It was Shagless that eventually rescued us and we headed back towards the resort. At the next check I screwed the run up (a bit) calling On the wrong trail. Everybody was together, and I tried to lead them back while Pamela was explaining to Eat my Tofu what idiots the FRBs were.

Steep down the side of the cliff I took off with Shagless, only to be completely alone for a while. Graven caught up and we jogged along together for a while until we found some checks already kicked out. It seems the pack had found a short cut and were already tucking into beers at the A. Looking at the map, it seems the trails were close to each other, but that doesn’t explain why HRA led a group along the road and in the front entrance of the resort!

26th January – CSH3 – Frozen Dick

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Frozen Dick has a unique way of advertising his runs and one way or another… This time he chose “my” area past Doi Saket, and through various conversations over the week he’d mentioned “blue spirit houses” and a couple of other unique landmarks that gave me a damn good idea of the general route of the run – having set a bunch of runs there and previously scouting all the trails (and non-trails) around there, I was confident I knew all the permutations…

We set off with Angry Inch on my tail – literally – he followed me through the first couple of checks until I guessed one wrong – there were 2 main ways to get up onto the mountain, and the hare chose the other one. No matter, we headed back to the road and Angry Inch was lost soon at a check when he went through barbed wire to a trail to nowhere. Shortly further on the other trail into the mountain was on the right, but the trail continued down the road – hmmm… Go for it boys, I turned to Chuckie and we swiftly avoided a false trail and set off up to the hill.

There was a circle check and CW trusted me when I told him it was up the hill to a parallel trail – sure enough we got to powder, and then a circle. This time he didn’t trust me, and while I checked left, he went back to the right. I called “On” but didn’t see him again. I jogged along, simply enjoying running the trails that I’d set as a hare before, but never run. I found the hare’s knife, and spent the rest of the run with it open as I couldn’t figure out how to close it.

Around the ridge we came to the spirit house and down to the creek bed. The circle check there is ingenious – if you don’t know about the trail that runs just a bit further along the creek. Sadly for FD I knew where we were and the likes of Sloppy Rod, Graven Image, Skid Mark and Horny Monkey came straight along the creek following my calls – leaving an unbroken circle for CW to figure out.

The rest of us FRBs were onto the trail behind the mountain – a great running trail! Hard to set checks, as ‘straight’ is the obvious choice. With Sloppy and Graven around 100m behind they kicked out the checks each time I called them, until we reached the inevitable “skiddy sticks” hybrid check, complete with my own powder bottle! I could have set a new trail, but played the game and went back to mark the way over the ridge.

Another couple of checks were straight on with Sloppy snapping at my heels and Graven licking his chops. We hit the fence and though I’d been there a bunch of times I wasn’t sure – left and then right, or right and then left? Bugger… Sloppy slipped away to the left and I hooked up with Graven, Horny Monkey and Skid Mark for the final moments.

That’s my story of the run… It seems other people had many different stories behind me – Mr. Poo sloping off with Doesn’t Get It to make sure she does… Unplugged slipping away with Angry Inch to see if the extra angry inch is worth it… Big Top lagging behind with Redundant Semen to ??? who knows what they were up to, but it took a while for them to get back with FD needing to separate them.

13th January – CH3 – Belly Dancer BALLBREAKER!

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Mostly not bad!

Ok, so an epic kind of run like that deserves a bit more of a write up! Mr. Poo suggested that “Mostly Epic” would have been more appropriate! Anyway, I was struggling to shake off my hangover as we drove out to the runsite, at Baan Pong Resort, despite my best intentions to get an early night, somehow I managed to get incredibly drunk which wasn’t the best preparation.

We all knew what to expect as the hares had done a good job of briefing everyone in advance, but amazingly there was still around 20 odd people to squeeze into the Songthaew and a couple of cars. We ominously went around the back of a mountain – past a tempting golf course – to the A site where the hare did his best to talk us out of it before setting us loose. We started with a short loop around a lake and back to the Songthaew, with Graven Image & Suckit not bothering and waiting for us to run back to where we’d already seen some paper on the road.

I hit a couple of checks right until getting the first set off skiddy sticks which I carried back and dutifully placed obviously on the trail for those behind. Around another corner and my watch signaled we were a mile in. My stomach signaled that McDonalds wasn’t the best idea for lunch, and duly forced me to deposit it on the trail. Things weren’t looking good as one by one hashers passed by. Finally the wave passed and I started feeling better and could start moving again. We were running along some lovely trails that I’d not hashed before, until the unmistakable stench of a pigfarm arrived. The sick hares had put a ‘sex check’, meaning we had to wait next to the pigpens with flies buzzing around the stinking piles of pigshit for Big Top to arrive. Ugh! The hares weren’t punished nearly enough for that…

Off running again and Semen Soars and I found trail until we looped around so we could get a good view of the mountains ahead. With a white pagoda visible on top of one of the highest peaks, I thought to myself – I bet it’s that one, but hoped it wouldn’t be… Around the corner the songthaew was waiting for some drinks and refueling. Unplugged, Itchy Bitchy and Knockout came riding up with some men on bikes.

After a short photo op, we set off again with the trail mercilessly climbing into the mountains. Fortunately the trail was good and we could keep on going with sure footing. Suckit was not far behind me and each time he turned a corner I could hear yet another expletive. What checks there were were easy to pick as it was just on up the trail. Gorf leading the way with Lickamick just ahead of me – the pack stretching out back down the hill. I caught up at the ‘sex check’ halfway up the hill. After a discussion we didn’t want our legs to seize up, so we carried on with Suckit and then Graven Image joining us. The climb was relentless – 500m+ elevation gain, although I’m still waiting to get the GPS track off the watch. So this is what we had been warned about – it actually wasn’t so bad – rewarding views at every turn and a good enough trail.

Finally near the top we found the trail going back down, and Mr. Poo presently joined us in time for the ‘ladders’. We’ve hashed on worse descents that that, but adding a ladder for us was a nice touch. The way down was steeper than the way up, and probably more treacherous, picking our way one step at a time. There were stairs in places, but few opportunities to run. Finally we got to a flatter section and there was Greasy waiting with more drinks. We’d survived the mountain – just a few more km back to the resort…

I didn’t want to cramp up so kept going, hitting a few checks right before finding Gorf in front of me. He had a nasty habit of taking the paper with him from the checks and dropping it when he found trail, so it didn’t help anyone following behind and there was nothing left for me to mark the trail with. Soon he stopped calling and disappeared into the distance as Ho came up behind me. HRA was with him – I’d not seen him since before the hill, along with Graven, Lickamick and Suckit. We settled into a pleasant pace where we could keep moving and bitch about the FRB at the same time.

Finally we came to the lake, worked our way around it to find Belly Dancer waiting at the last drinks stop. One more to go and the resort was just there, just down the dam. He sent us off across the dam to an arrow pointing back along the otherside of the lake. That didn’t seem like a good idea, and we were further confused by a switch to pink strips marking the trail. Thanks for mentioning that in the harebrief! We made our way along the lake until the trail climbed up into the hills, where a single skiddy stick was found… WTF??? Where were the other two? Where the f*ck was Gorf? Back down to the lake and another 100m around the lake finally Suckit found the paper and the other two skiddy sticks. WTF? We were ready to kill someone – I can kind of get what Red Carpet and Dick Tracy complain about skiddy sticks if the FRBs don’t play the game. What on earth had he been thinking to place them there

We eventually went into the hills – it was unavoidable. While the first mountain was long and high, at least it was on trail – this part had ‘Anything’ written all over it, as we just scrambled across rocks on steep mountain sides. This bit was much worse than the first hill, with tired legs struggling to get a grip I’m surprised someone didn’t seriously hurt themselves. Determination just drove us onwards – it must be over soon. Finally we got onto the trail in the gully the other side, and we were back on familiar ground.

I jogged along and Ho joined me. The trail took a sharp left turn which was a bit of a surprise – after another 150m or so we found a single skiddy stick behind a tree which by now wasn’t a surprise at all. Back to the junction and there was Gorf carrying the other 2. Rather than maiming him with the last remaining stick, we ran off… We didn’t really find trail, but we found a few bits of paper that had come of the skiddy sticks while Gorf was looking, so I followed that in the direction of the resort and safety.

Everyone survived, with quite a few taking the shorter route back on the last leg. We sat freezing in the circle taking turns to limp towards the ice when called in. Maybe because we were tired, or probably because it did, but the circle seemed to go on forever and ever… We were hungry, cold and exhausted. It wasn’t that it was a bad circle – just a long one – there were plenty of funny moments dispersed throughout, but we could all feel the food waiting for us up just one more flight of stairs (another sick twist by the hares to choose an upstairs restaurant!)

Overall verdict, ‘mostly not bad’! Actually 3 great legs, with one final ‘Fuck You’ from the hares at the end.

OnON

5th January – CSH3 OUTSTATION – Byte My Yahoo & Unplugged

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Looking back over my history running with CSH3 – the first Outstation of the year was usually in February – time enough to recover from the ‘festive season’. Dr Byte must have had some ingenious plan for making the OS the first run of the New Year.

Having survived the end of the World, 1111 and the Fiscal Cliff – just what did the virile duo have in mind? Mae Moh is home to the largest open pit lignite mine in Thailand (extra fascinating info here – http://www.mine-planning.com/Homepage/publications_documents/maemoh.pdf). I had Googled the location and Dr Byte had posted a couple of tempting photo’s to whet our appetites’.

The Friday before was a ‘golfing day’ – I hear this was a great success with one beer per stoke after the 4th hole, and this was followed by a night of drunken debauchery I can’t even begin to write about.

Perhaps wisely I set off on Saturday with Mr Poo and Knockout – what a delight, Knockout sitting up front with me was Poo’s desperate plan to make me drive ‘sensibly’ – and I did – more time with Knockout – thanks Poo – your very lucky and hope you both will be very happy. En route Dr Byte called and asked us to get some powder – huh!? This was a bit ominous – earlier in the morning he called me – and I thought it was some deranged pervert heavy breathing down the line – had he been laying trail or laying Unplugged!!??

Duly we arrived at the EGAT facility with its small town of 1970’s box student dorms – Dick Tracy was the first we encountered and I decided to leave Mr & Mrs Poo to settle in while take a quick look at the mine and power plant.

Behind the power plant were some very tempting looking hills (mountains) – Horny Monkey knew I’d like it here – and I did!

OK OK – enough pre-amble, so what was the run like?

The hares had organised a luxury (compared to the songtheow) coach to take us to A – Wow! – what a place to start a run – a platform sticking out over the valley with the mine and reservoir below – very cool indeed!

So photo op and moment to catch up friends – good to see Big Top and Red Carpet back in town. The hare brief was given an Dr Byte and Unplugged wanted a 2 min head start for an initial live hared section (hence the powder call). Unplugged was clearly visible going up a tower to no-where (that only Horny Monkey gamely went) while BmY arced off to set the real trail. Dick Tracy and Sunspot ignored the 2 mins and raced after him. Dick the Boy Wonder was valiantly trying to delay us by singing some obscure/obscene Texan Hash song – but as the 2 mins popped up – off I went.

Sunspot has been running pretty well of late and had probably 500m under his belt, with Dick Tracy racing ahead – I had to run him down to get to the first check. I’m sure BmY was delighted at the 500m checking I did – wrong! He was chuckling away at the check and rightly predicted I’d catch up with the pack soon enough.

In the middle of ‘thorn forest’ – the checks were tricky and did really well confusing the hell out of us with FRB lead changing frequently. Horny Monkey and Skid Mark seemed to be most energetic – taking it in turns to find the Skiddy Stix. HRA seemed to be getting nearly every check wrong, until he lucked out and the ‘thorn tunnels’ section of the run.

Here HRA used his advantage and powered ahead with Big Top, Game Set & Snatch, visitor Skiddy, Shagless, Red Carpet, Pamala, Mr Poo and me in pursuit.

For the short cutters there was a convenient road parallel to the ‘tunnels’ – so they easily kept up with Thobbing Ninja and Superman enjoying our shrieks at getting skewered with thorns and stickers every few meters.

Looking to the East – there were gorgeous mountains were crying out for a (Lanna?) hash on/up then, but BmY would have none of that – dirt, stickers, cow shit, flat, flat and more flat were on his mind and he joyfully kept popping up at every other check to marvel at how well he was keeping the pack together.

The highest elevation change was a mere 4 meters – but it was great fun. Just under 7km we came On In to the waiting coach – overlooking the stunning valley as the sun was beginning to set. Everyone came in close together – Frozen Dick was in ahead of the foragers – Cumalot, Super Bitch and Throbbing Ninja.

Screwed Up ran his first run since his knee op and well deservedly got the Male Wings.

The circle was joyful and fun – beer flowed and humour grew as the sun set over the valley – excellent job hares!

OnOn
BD

15th December – CSH3 – Belly Dancer / Big Top / Frozen Dick / Skid Mark – RUN 1,111

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The day had finally come, and it was time to head out to the biggest hash of the year – the biggest hash in a couple of years since the 1,000 run. I wasn’t feeling too well on account of Human Excrement, but managed to scramble my way out to the runsite a bit early to make sure everything was in order. There was a pervasive nervous tension around, or was that just my dodgy stomach? My ribs were hurting and I wasn’t sure I was up for the 11 grueling KM the hares had put together.

The first beer stop was immediate – great way to start, except that it was Chang, and I immediately wanted to vomit! Then it was chasing Frozen Dick’s live haring – with 11 minutes headstart of course! The crowd of around 90 set off and just around the corner had our 2nd beer stop. Across the carpark was the 3rd beer stop with a 4th on the reservoir wall. Time for a group photo and for the pack to split between the ‘long run’ and the ‘short run’.

The hares had given me some inside information about the start of the long run, so I had little choice but to take that option, and led the way towards the ‘zoo’. We’d been told something about just follow the trail and just through the gate there would be a circle check. Well we went through a gate and spread out looking for trail. Sadly you can rely on hashers fucking things up, and the gate was somewhere else. Plenty of time eaten up already and we hadn’t even found the trail.

When we found the circle, it was a tricky one, and took another 10 minutes or so before Dead Virgin picked up the scent and we were off. The circles were pretty small (quarter A4), and we missed the 2nd circle check, but eventually found the trail further on. My ribs were killing me – I really shouldn’t have been running, and promptly collapsed vomiting on the trail, which didn’t help at all.

OnOn, and the pack was brought back with some skiddy sticks. Anal Birth found the trail off to the right and gave the least inspiring call in history. The checks had been screwing with us, and at one point we’d done 3km in an hour. This was going to be a long 11km. Finally we emerged and saw Frozen and Skiddy checking on our slow progress. Another regroup, and by now my ribs were just a dull constant agony, so I had a bit of a run with Alice past another reservoir. Great running trails all over the place, and the pace picked up. We took a sharp turn up some steps and found a circle. As I checked straight on all of a sudden I heard Graven calling confidently to the right and Alice calling confidently to the left. There were OnOns all around me and in my confused state I had no idea where to go, so I kept on forwards and finally intercepted the trail on top of a ridge. Alice came running up to me, and we jogged on together with a large part of the pack having missed out the whole mountain part of the run.

I had very little idea where we were, but the checks had been kicked out so I just kept jogging along until we bumped into Screwed Up complete with beer for another beer stop. He had no idea what was going on and nor did Chilly Pussy just around the corner. Finally we saw Big Top holding a sign on the other side of a little lake, begging us to swim across to her – it was a short cut! I gave Mr. Poo my watch and jumped in leaving Poo and Alice to jog off the long way around the lake. We were definitely not a pack any more, but Suckit appeared as I was climbing out and duly jumped in for a swim. Dead Virgin took the swim option too.

Along the road a bit and we found Angry Inch running towards us, eventually figuring out where we were and found trail leading into the last 4 beer checks. I think I missed a beer check, and some how passed the other long run runners. Oh well, I’d done enough and had to get the circle started while the remaining runners made it back in fits and starts – Semen Soars being the last man in as the circle closed, and Cumalot strolling along with her headphones.

OnOnOn to the river market for some excellent food and some more post run analysis. Thanks to all who put in so much effort – and thank goodness it’s over! 😉

My GPS track has gained a bit of distance as I forgot to switch it off…

9th December – CH4 – Snail Trail

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Rating: 7.3/10 (4 votes cast)

Snail Trail was the hare, but when the run directions appeared it was clear she didn’t have much to do with it! The runsite was the same as Skiddy’s recent male hash and after hearing complaints from those who crawled through his tunnel of love the first time he decided to send us through it twice this time.

Everyone was early – except Big Top and Dogshit who had gone to the restaurant rather than to the runsite! After standing around for a bit, we set off and I led the way through the tunnel crawl. With Kwazi behind I was able to check in 2 directions before anyone else emerged from the tunnel. Sadly they were the wrong directions and not for the last time I was running around in circles and overtaking Doggie as Robin Banks led the pack. Sure enough we were heading the reverse as the previous run, but most times rather than going right and left, we’d go left and right, if that makes sense. Check out the map, I was all over the place.

Finally we locked in on the old trail, and wary for Skiddy sticks I was looking down the side trails. I spied some paper off to the right – Damn! it was old paper from Sups’ run. But it had to be coming up soon – sure enough at the next junction, I turned right and was on the true trail. Unplugged and Mr. Poo didn’t want to trust me, so they followed Humperdick to the skiddy sticks. Ha! I was locked in following the previous trail back to the rice fields, across the rice fields.

Then I remembered a little scramble trail that Skiddy had used before – surely he’d do it again? Damn it! I got torn up and was stuck in the middle of nowhere when half the pack overtook calling on on from the road nearby, with no easy way of me getting back. Back through the tunnel and beer time. Lots of excellent checks and another good set.

18th November – CH4 – Big Top

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Rating: 9.0/10 (3 votes cast)

EVIL was setting the run, and she’d done a web search to try and find a virgin runsite! The runsite was probably virgin – it looked like it had been dug out a few days before, and we proceeded to park up in a mud pit. Fortunately it wasn’t raining! I was pretty sure we’d run around the area fairly recently though!

The hare brief warned us about the potential of 200m circle checks (just to fuck with us), as well as false trails etc. I was trying to pay attention, but wasn’t the only one suffering from an EVIL induced hangover! 😉 Anyway, Humperdick and I set off running and the trail started with a circle. Only one obvious trail away from it, and I was calling OnOn at the road. We ducked into a resort, and a circle at the side of a lake. Clearly we had to go one side of the lake or the other, so I set off running – with potentially 200m to the first powder I got to the other side of the lake before I heard Chuckie calling from the road on the cliff above me. Darn it to buggery, I was screwed!

I cut through a resort that Bend Over and HRA have used as an A bucket before, and rejoined the trail behind Frozen Dick. I caught Human Excrement as he guarded a check – no effort to kick it out, just standing and guarding!

The trail headed up the hill, a nice trail that I’ve run down before – I prefer running down it! Semen Soars and Chuckie were enjoying themselves up front while Poo and I enjoyed ourselves behind Unplugged and Beautiful Box! There’s a great trail that cuts around the side of the mountain, and we could see SS ahead, so far ahead… After a circle check the hare gave great attention to avoiding the nice trail down, cutting steep down an orchard instead. CW didn’t like it, but he didn’t like me throwing myself off the side either, so we hit the rubber wall together. No chance either of us was going to check left – that’s about a 10km detour!!! The next False Trail caught out CW because he’s a good sport, and it let Poo join us at the last check.

The memory of the 200m circle checks had faded, and the pack regrouped as we didn’t want to go past 120… Finally CW found it and jogged on home. Very similar to a run that Bend Over and HRA have set in reverse, but there is a good reason – it’s a good run!