Tag Archives: Square Rooter

19th June – CH4 – Pigshit

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A low turn out for Piggy’s run out in Maejo. With other runs out of town coming up, and much of the hash community overseas it probably wasn’t a surprise to only have me, Chuckie, Humps, I Got Gas, Square Rooter and Tip Toe there for the run. Tip Toe thought better of it and promptly turned back, while the rest of us went to see what Piggy had put together for us.

Across the concrete to the trail the other side, and we could have put the first circle there ourselves. First there so I got the pick and went left – if it was right then he knows there is a nicer trail to use to get there, so why go across the concrete thing? I was pretty confident, until I found old paper and shortly after heard the On Call from the opposite direction. Chuckie and I turned about face and caught up at the next check.

Rather than using all the lovely trails around Maejo, Piggy decided to cut cross country hacking our way through the shiggy. Back on trail and he was putting checks every 1 or 2 junctions. Square Checks replaced circles and the lead rotated between myself, Chuckie, Humps and IGG. You could feel hump’s joy when he got the trail at the top of a steep incline, and it took me a while to get back on track.

Finally we got to a V check, where both CW and I thought it had to be left – he took the dummy trail to the right, while I walked along to let him catch up after he hit the check back. Unfortunately it was me that hit the check back, and was left to run the last 1.5k or so on my own behind CW, including a good km along the road after the OnIn.

After the run we moved the circle to IGG’s place, away from the mosquitoes, with the pool, pagoda for the circle and then upstairs for chicken dinner – cheers IGG!

17th May – CSH3 – Square Rooter

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Square Rooter teamed up with Sloppy Rod from my least favourite runsite – the park near the zoo. Sure enough he sent us off up the side of the waterfall with the prospect of a Wimp/Rambo ahead. The first circle check was a no brainer and I stepped ahead of Chuckie to make sure I picked up trail up the hill. Sure enough we were heading up, until we ran out of paper by a pile of ripped off strips. We called looking and carried on up the side of the waterfall – being a popular area, it seemed like the trail might have been sabotaged. It had, but it turned out we’d gone through a V check, and the pile of paper was what was left of the check back. Behind us NOYB was leading the way on true trail, while myself, Chuckie, Turkish and Lumberjackoff carried on up the hill.

With no trail to be found, we hit the main road, and turned right to head down the hill along the main road. Surely we would find trail at somepoint? It was a long way down, and a long way around, but finally I spotted some paper on a tree, and sure enough a circle check (as yet unbroken) at the side of the road. We carried on down the hill – not On. Back up the hill and there was Tasty Buns and NOYB coming out of the temple. Over the road a trail headed down and there we found paper, finally we were back hashing.

After a longer than needed climb, and a long run down the road, I was just trying to keep up as CW set the pace up front. A few more circles and then nothing… A check, but no trail for a long, long way – until we found the hares still setting the in trail. They’d been so worried about having lost a bunch of hashers that they’d forgotten to set the end of the trail.

Again the trail ran out at the road, so Turkey and I just ran on in for a beer. Had we been able to follow the trail, I think it would have been a nice set – some interesting flattish trails discretely hidden at the foot of the mountain, only something got lost in the hare”brief”. Something was also lost when the hares forgot about JC’s 700th run.

28th April – CH3 – The Dick Brothers

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Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast)

How could expectations be high for a run set by 2 dicks (Humperdick and Frozen Dick)
But how could anyone muff a run in the Ob Khan area with sooooo many lovely trails.

Before the hare brief Frozen Dick suddenly had a panic attack about one of the checks (presumably one set buy the other Dick) and he quietly took me aside and explained the check.
There would be a check where the trail would be very hard to find … it would uphill to the left. I got the first 20 checks wrong as they all seemed to fit the description. Eventually I got lucky!

Some nasty evil person tried to sabotage the run by destroying at least three check and quite a few hundred metres of trail. But they underestimated the skill and resourcefulness of this group of hashers. Even the DFL’s didn’t miss beat, and this was nothing to do with the obviousness of where the trail was going! On our arrival back with the news FD immediately deduced it to be a person of Swiss origin who owns three dogs who was the saboteur.

The false trails was strangely omitted from the hare brief. However both of them nicely brought the pack (with the exception of myself who was secretly checking uphill to the left) back together.

Turkish Delight was in an unusually chirpy mood as both Brown Finger and Byte My Yahoo were absent giving him a much better chance of winning. He was later nearly awarded the wings for coming in first but it was decided that he must of short cutted somewhere! So the wings were then passed on to very triumphant Square Rooter. Who, in true hashing spirt, had added a could of kilometres on to his run so as to give TD a chance This extra distance however caused him to arrive back at the “A” from the completely wrong direction.

Liberace was so disillusioned with the run that he created his own and struggled in from yet another direction.

At the circle some half hearted attempt was made at naming a newby hasher who was in a hurry to be named (foolish man), but every one was brain dead mood and nothing came of it.

There was an excellent turnout – considering who the hares were – of about 21 hashers.

Soapy and SR were late arrivals. Soapy should try this more often as in very quick time he was running with the FRB’s – I am sure this had nothing to do with the horrible false trails that happened just before he reached the front.

Lumber Jack Off certainly deserved his Hash Crash award. In addition to the 2 crashes that were reported at the circle there was a magnificent double back flip which was only cut short by a badly placed tree. Hope your back get better.

And the general consensus of the run – excellent – all the practice must be paying off :)

Thanks guys great run.

26th April – CSH3 – Big Top & Mr. Poo Animal Dinner AGMU

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Rating: 9.3/10 (3 votes cast)

What an epic outstation weekend – I’ve finally made it back, although my head hasn’t quite arrived yet! It began on Friday – I arrived around lunch time and Horny, Poo, HRA and Square Rooter were just heading down the road for a beer. I figured I’d join them, and 4 hours and many beers later we got back to the resort. Saturday was a slow day until run time. Songthaews took us all out to the start – well the Rambo start – the Wimps were taken 3km along the trail and set off moments later.

A good early pace as Gorf replaced Brown Finger as the FRB. We looped around some fields and headed back towards the huge mountain that overlooks Chiang Dao. We got to where the Wimps had been set off from, and for a few km the checks were all kicked out, allowing Gorf to leave us behind. The heat was devastating and running was a struggle. Finally we started wheeling in the DFLs and got to a water stop.

It was pretty much straight on, straight on towards the mountain. Pleasant views running along with Taste My Buns & Horny Monkey. A few tough checks late on and we could see Gorf ahead of us. Amazingly I was FRB for a moment, but the exertions and the heat took their toll and I was down to walking towards Poo who could be seen from about a km before the OnIn. We’d been promised a 6km run, but it was a big fat lie. 8km in deadly heat – time for the AGMU.

Big Top took charge of the circle, and promptly fired her committee, leaving her in sole command for the evening’s Animal Dinner. Back to the resort and the guys grabbed some beers and hit the pool for a couple of hours while the ladies got ready. With thunder and lightning threatening we all descended on the dining room. Excellent food, good music, and a wide array of beverages. It seems not many people had heard of Absinthe, and I ended up having t least 1 too many, along with copious amounts of gin and tonic, on top of the Leos – oh and Beer Lao too. No wonder I feel like shit!

We had to get up by 10:30 for a hangover run. I managed it just. Apparently I was supposed to co-hare it, luckily Pigshit stepped in to help Knock Out. I set off before the hare brief, and took a nap along the road. Horny dragged me to my feet and I managed to get running, behind Cougar & the Germans. Fortunately the run was only 1.1km, and I wasn’t going to do it twice! Circle time, and time for the hare of the dog. Big Top promptly quit and assigned duties to Mr. Poo who announced his new committee. I think I am on it, hopefully he’ll update the list soon!

Excellent job guys – so successful in crippling us that we didn’t even thank the hares properly in the circle for organising a great event.

29th March – CSH3 – Cumalot

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Rating: 9.0/10 (3 votes cast)

Cumalot teamed up with Knockout for a run in the Mae Sa valley. It was a familiar location, but it’s been a while since we’ve been there… Last time I recall there being just me, Chuckie and Mr. Poo running the trail set by the same hares. Hopefully they would set the same again and we could have an advantage?

It seems Turkish was the one to get an advantage – he arrived hours early with Square Rooter to start checking some trail out and getting the first few checks sorted. His big mistake was to tell me and so we set off with some checks already loaded. It was a bit tricky though – not entirely comfortable with the area, and memory failing, they switched it up a bit at the start and it was a while before we were on a familiar trail up the elephant shit route.

A bit of a breakaway with Chuckie leading, Brownie, Piggy, Gravy and I taking the route over the hill tops and back down. The memories were there, I knew where we were headed. A V check had everyone confused, with check backs in both ways – and the way I went there were 2 check backs!! Now that is enthusiastic haring! Fortunately I disregarded both and found myself on trail on the road while the rest were confused by all the check backs. I think I went the way the hares had hoped to go, but took my time waiting for Chuckie and Gravy to catch up so we could run in together.

A nice trail, very well marked, fun in an area we haven’t done for a while.

9th March – CH4 – Graven Image & Brown Finger

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Graven decided to set a live hare run, and to decrease the chance of being caught he signed up Brown Finger as a co-hare. He also brought in Pig Shit as a co-co-hare, although the latter denied any knowledge of the route and would run with the pack. It turned out later that the hares also seemed to have no knowledge of the route and got themselves lost.

Brown Finger had already disappeared, but after 5 minutes headstart we set off after Graven. At the end of the road, I turned left, and went about 150m before finding the trail – sneaky hares! The trail abruptly turned left towards where I knew there was a lake – it was suspicious, but I figured I’d play the game and duly went to collect the spare paper at the False Trail.

Clearly the hares can’t read Thai, as they took us straight through a gate that stated ห้ามเข้า. No choice but to carry on. Into the woods, there was a circle check in the middle of nowhere, only trees, no trail, but from memory I knew there was a wider trail straight ahead, so I ploughed on through a bit more than the 100m. When I got to the trail, I checked down to the left, and then as hashers were calling I went back up to the right, and sure enough the paper emerged from the trees and headed on up the hill.

A single trail heading up, with occasional circle checks off to the side – each just returning to the main trail up up up up. And at the top was the “BN”. I was on my own, nobody around – would I get to drink all the beer? First I had to find the beer – and just past the BN was a circle check… Huh? Where was the beer? Oh, there was a somewhat obvious bag right next to the BN and in it the Tiger juice. I had some time to wait for the rest, so I figured out where the circle check was going back to, and kept yelling for them to follow me up the hill.

Finally Poo showed up. When Square Rooter got there, he ignored the beer, and headed off in the wrong direction – let them go! Back again, and we headed down the hill on a different trail. When we got to the road at the bottom, a circle check had been replaced with a Wimp Rambo split – no mention of that in the hare brief! The Rambo took us back to the ห้ามเข้า gate, where the hares had put even more paper over the poor family’s yard. A bit further on, and a circle check was suspiciously next to a ant infested log bridge, that I straddled my way over with Poo following, only for trail to be found in a different direction. We were back in the forest on the old trail, and as Chuckie led the pack back up the hill, I thought better of it, and finally None of Your Business found arrows and trail back through the trees again. He took off like a whippet, and we were soon back to the Wimp Rambo split – only this time it was just an arrow heading up back in. Confused? We all were! Especially the co-co-hare Pig Shit who led Dead Virgin all the way back up the hill and finally limped in in the dark.

It seems the hares had screwed up from the start and spent all the time trying to fix their mistakes. None of Your Business celebrated at the On-In his victory!

28th December – CSH3 – Square Rooter & Co…

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Square Rooter teamed up with Brown Finger, Big Top & Toe Sucker to bring us a ‘dirty’ new year run. With so many minds working together, what on earth would they come up with?

We set off and there were no checks for a kilometer, that was straight down a road – a fast start! Then turned abruptly and started up the hill, crossing onto some familiar trails that we’d run from Ob Khan before. Up to a ridge and the trail kept turning left – how? Several checks had me foxed because I expected us to end up running into old trails, but nope the sly hares had found another way down and I fortunately got lucky as we hit the checks at the bottom of the hill. A long flat section had Graven “following” me at the checks, along with Alice who was full of inside information!

We started scrambling up into the hills again, but now the checks were getting easier – unfortunately for me Sloppy Rod & Alice hit the front, along with “Grey Ham”. I preferred to hang back with Fandango, but we all managed to come in at the same time as the walkers on their walking trail. Except when I say “All”, I lie – as one visiting hasher didn’t make it back to the A. With the GM & hares exploring the hills in the dark, the circle was tough. Turns out the hasher was already back at the hash pub drinking beer.

All in all, a great run with plenty of challenge and a good warm up for next week’s ball breaker!

8th December – CH4 – Big Top

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Big Top had been scouting this run with much effort for a few weeks, and she’d chosen one of “my” areas out in Maejo. I love that area – and I’ve set a bunch of runs there, having scouted the hell out of it! It was awesome to finally get to run a hash there not knowing where it would go – but also having great knowledge about where it could (or more importantly could not) go.

We anticipated a small turn out with the boys away, but were lucky to get a couple of virgins and a couple of visitors – all of whom were serious runners / hashers. With Sunspot and Crap Thai coming along, it was a good turn out. In the early stages I got quite a few checks wrong, and ended up overtaking Robin Banks again and again, even though he’d suggested he was going to follow me. Big Top had found a couple of bits that I hadn’t done before, or didn’t remember quite, before we headed into a hill I know very well.

I got a couple of checks right and was going well, until the inevitable slap in the face! To foil me, the hare had set a 150m circle check, which brought the pack nicely back together. We’d done about 3-4km and there was the nice trail heading back to the A off a circle check – it wasn’t that way! I was behind again, with Humperdick questioning if I’d checked far enough. But no – the hare had an extra loop for us.

Awesome run, a lot of fun! Nobody had anything negative to say! The FRBs came in at 45:08, the rest of the pack came in within 5 minutes. Sunspot came in from a different direction, and BendOver came in after the rest of us – as he’d set off quite a while after us. Then we had the circle – where most of us seemed brain dead, but Big Top pulled it together and put out one of the best circles recently. So good that pretty much everyone carried on to the OnOnOn at a Burmese restaurant in town. If there are 3 elements to the hash – a big check in all 3 boxes!

Besides the hare’s efforts, the other key addition was Square Rooter deciding to fall off the wagon on his 70th birthday! The 3 beer Berrio was solid – Hashy Birthday Sir!

23rd November – CSH3 – Humperdick

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Rating: 6.7/10 (3 votes cast)

With a Bunny Outstation, there was a smaller than usual group gathered close to the football field on canal road. Wiping Humperdick’s last run from my mind, I reassured myself that he normally puts in a good job. After introducing the all new “K” check, we were set off towards familiar trails.

I’ve set runs there, I’ve ran many runs there, this would be easy! Nope… First check had me hopelessly in the wrong direction. I got back into it by the 3rd check, and sure enough I went 180 degrees from the right way. It was a trend that was to continue. I was feeling fresh and good, so put some efforts in to get to the front, and each time I did I ran into false trails, or checks that I screwed up! Notably, I got the false trail, and on the way back I clambered up the wrong hill finally hearing the on-on from the other side of the valley. Again later, I was trapped the wrong side of a ravine while the FRBs were cruising away on the other side. I’m not sure I could get it more wrong!

I got to the point of not believing myself. So when I got to a check, with Square Rooter, I thought which would be my last choice? Because that’s probably where we’re going. Sure enough I charged down a steep hill – again 180 degrees from the true trail.

An excellent set – a lot of fun! The circle was great too – that’s why we hash!

3rd November – CH4 – Itchy Bitchy

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Itchy stepped up, and the run was way down canal road – great running area. Itchy was coy in the harebrief, no clues as to how far it was but time to start running! I set off with None of Your Business and Brownfinger, and at the end of the road was the first circle check. Brownfinger graciously let NOYB take the most obvious trail, and pointed me out a further option. Pretty close to the circle I found pink paper – it seemed too close, but there was another piece. OK, I guess i’m on? A quick call and everyone came over to decide it was old paper. Back to the circle – everyone seemed to head off in the direction BF had been checking, but I went with NOYB to where he hadn’t gone far enough.

This time we found the paper, and were off. Familiar trails, and I nailed quite a few checks, out of contact with the pack behind me. Things were going well, and the ‘dream hash’ flashed through my mind… And of course then I got to the check that screwed me over! I checked straight, I checked right, I checked further right, and then set off left – finally I could hear the pack approaching from behind. I was wrong again! Where was the trail??? Even with the help of the other FRBs it took us another 5 minutes or so to find the trail, and the pack set off again – knowing that we must be turning right soon…

Of course we got it wrong when the trail didn’t turn right, and kept going straight. Finally we followed Square Rooter around to the right, and it was Poo that took up the pace along the mud roads back towards the A site. Brown Finger was on a mission to chase him down, but he did the right thing checking the dummy way at another junction, while Graven and I jogged along behind Poo. A further check, and it had to be to the left, but with Poo and Graven already checking there, I gambled on straight. There must have been some fuck up as it took forever to be called, by which time I’d started paralleling into a field surrounded by barbed wire. I had to head back, and ended up with 8k on the clock, some ways behind the true FRBs. We Are F R B!