Tag Archives: Square Rooter

19th October – CSH3 – Mr Poo

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Mr Poo seemed like the obvious choice for setting a full moon run, and with a late addition of Square Rooter as co-hare, the man who knows every trail in the Huay Tung Thao area, surely they would put together something special. It was dark and late, but at least it wasn’t raining! Full Moon? Nope… Well it made a brief appearance during the circle.

With torches bouncing we set off, straight towards the tarmac running track. A couple of early checks told us what we had in store – it was well marked, easy to pick out the powder in torchlight and as we got to the check at the back entrance to the lake, it was a make or break check. I followed HRA’s calls to the right, and it was along the running track. Inspired haring! On a daylight run we’d bitch about the bitumen, but on a night run it wasn’t quite road but safe and easy to run along.

Knowing the area the next couple of checks were obvious and we set off on the mud trail that I’ve run so many times before – only this time it was dark, and muddy and full of puddles. A smallish group had broken away at the front, and we got back together with a tough check by the horses stables. It was a no-brainer that we were heading to the right to cut across back to the running track, but it was hard to find the way through in the dark. The hares knew it and were waiting on the other side just in case they needed to rescue anyone.

Back along the running trail to the A. It’s always nice to try something different, and it was a carefully thought out set.

12th October – CSH3 – Horny Monkey

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Horny is the hare… shall we go? The run site – some village coffee shop near 700 year stadium… shall we go? The GM out of town and Square Rooter appointed acting GM – wtf… shall we go? It seemed to have everything going against it!

Anyway, None of Your Business wanted to go along, so I drove off to the run-site… For some reason Horny had decided to try to hide his hash signs – much like a hare hides the first paper after a circle check. We weren’t the only ones driving around in circles, until I checked my phone and remembered the run time had changed – the run had just started and we were still looking for a sign! Finally we got there, stumbled out of the car and set off running through the village.

After a very long check I found myself out in front only for the trail to disappear. With hindsight it seems it should have been skiddy sticks, but nobody found them – instead everyone dispersed and ended up on trail up ahead. A very confusing section, that hours later we still couldn’t really figure out what had happened. We would probably still be running backwards and forwards around a big digger, kicking out the same V check again and again – but fortunately the hare stepped out and sent us in the right direction.

Another very long check and finally we were teased with a nice trail – it was brief as imminently we hit skiddy sticks. I say ‘we’, but to be honest Mr. Poo had run on past them in a simple joy about the beautiful trail he’d found. It was back again and after a little stumble we were heading up a little hill. Now Horny had managed to get in my head, and he was confusing me. I’d seen the circle checks on the main road, but were they real? My first guess was they were fakes, or were they? Damnit!

Horny somehow had pulled out a decent run – i.e. it wasn’t a complete fuck up! He’d even put together a figure of 8, and he only needed to tell us what to do once! (It happened to be at the meeting point of the ‘8’, but hey!

15th Sept – CSH3 – Snail Trail

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So, Snail Trail had the genius to send the housekeeper away so Skiddy had to set the run… Skiddy sent Frozen Dick & Humperdick out to find a new area for the CH3 1000th run, and then promptly stole the runsite for this run… Nice effort! A good run site, and nice shelter overlooking a pleasant lake, if only there was accommodation, we could have stayed over for an outstation!

We got let loose and at the first circle check I decided to climb the steep mountain to the right, rather than the obvious little trail that went straight on – it was only my first mistake, getting down the cliff was harder than climbing up it. I got back with the group, and quickly got another check wrong. Things weren’t clicking for me early on.

Chasing back from another wrong check, None of Your Business and I got attacked by a swarm of bees. Damn it! Semen Soars was also screwing everything up, and finally I got to a circle that was being checked left and right. There seemed to be a way through the forest straight on, and at last a bit of luck as there was some paper hanging there. I’d got something right, and at just the right time as the trail had to start turning left and back towards the A.

A hash of 2 parts, from then on I nailed everything, with Patrick trying to chase me down in between each check. I even picked the Skiddy Check leaving Patrick to go in search of sticks while Turkish, Square Rooter and I carried on. Finally we got to the base of the dam, and there was a cute little trail that climbed up the side to the OnIn on the dam. Great run on some new trails.

7th September – CSH3 – Anything

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Anything, teamed up with Chilly Pussy, a deadly combination! Having set the most lethal runs for the past few years this was a run that needed mental preparation for… No point making excuses, it’s game time… The strategy was to take it steady early on and save energy for the inevitable later stages.

Out of the bus stormed a team of Chiang Rai hashers – hair perfectly manicured, t-shirts gripping to their pecs and accentuating their biceps. They waved their Princeton graduation certificates flexed and soon gathered a flock of harriettes worshipping them. Oh, and Namron was there too…

We set off up the hill, and I instantly got the first check wrong. Not to worry, I dragged Princeton boy off on my first parallel run – the only problem was it wasn’t quite parallel – not quite perpendicular, but certainly not heading in the right direction! We ended up going over a small hill to rejoin the pack with Humperdick and Square Rooter taking joy in my mistake…

Up another hill, and the hashers spread out on the trail with Patrick seemingly in the lead. I got back towards the front, just in time to get another check wrong. Turned out it was the last check – and we had a 2-3km stretch without checks to take us back. As the trail turned back, I opted for another parallel run – it was technically further, but much easier going, and I popped up ahead of Patrick. Namron had the bit between his teeth and quickly closed us down, sprinting through in search of ‘victory’.

Surprisingly short from Anything, I feared for worse… – perhaps she is lulling us into a false sense of security?

1st September – CH4 – Square Rooter

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Square Rooter, Square Rooter, Square Rooter… Why, oh why, oh why???

He was looking even more smug and proud than usual when I got to the runsite at Doi Suthep – what had the wily bastard put together for us this time? One thing could be sure – it wouldn’t be flat… The hare brief promised us around 4km, that would take over an hour – shit, shit, shit… Why had I come?

We set off into the water fall, and even though the trail took us along the concrete path, the rain and moss made that a slippery, dangerous adventure. I found myself the wrong side of the waterfall at one point, but decided it was probably the better side to be as we would inevitably rejoin at the road. And at the road the trail continued on scrambling on a muddy, slippy, path barely gripping to the side of the mountain. When he’d had enough of that, it was time to climb. Up, up, up one of the main trails.

With Suckit and 2 Dutch boys up front, I settled into a comfortable climbing pace, and eventually got to a V check where both were calling check back and heading back… A quick gamble and I decided that Suckit was probably correct and the visitors probably didn’t have a clue what they were talking about, so I went to the right and sure enough the trail scrambled through shit to cross over to the other main artery. Square Rooter must have enjoyed manufacturing that ‘connect’… With hardly any trees to hang onto, and just wet leaves to slide along, it wasn’t much fun, but I managed to get across and hit the inevitable circle check on the other trail. I suggested one of the young Dutchmen ran up the hill, and like a eager rabbit he did just that. I chose the trail down, with little intention of coming back if I was wrong – sure enough there were soon calls off to the left.

I figured it was the little loop SR had used a couple of weeks back, and they would rejoin us at the clearing, but the calls got fainter as the trail must have descended sharply towards the Boy Scout Camp. From there, what goes down must come back up, and I quickly got back to paper – with a kicked out circle from the wimp trail. There ahead was Frozen Dick with the hare – FD can either talk or walk, but not at the same time, so I quickly caught up with SR keen to show me where the rambos would rejoin the trail. As he described what he was putting them through, I wasn’t sure if he was trying to encourage me to go back and do it all, or congratulate me on my short cut – either way I wasn’t remotely tempted to climb back up the hill, only to go back down one side, to climb back to where I already was – the better option seemed the 600m or so down to the cars.

31st August – CSH3 – Cool Balls

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The “A” Bucket was an orchid farm in the Maesa valley, a location that Sups couldn’t quite get to on time, so we set off without him. The trail set off and at the first opportunity we hit the rice fields, a balancing game along little walls, and it was Sloppy Rod that demonstrated his gymnastic abilities nimbly dancing ahead like a fairy! Only for him to be thwarted at the first V check.

We got across to a road, and the trail started going up, and up, and up… For a while we cut off trail and headed back down the hill, only to have to climb back up again when we hit the trail – it was as if the hares were completely disoriented stumbling around in the jungle. When we hit the main trail, we followed it up, up, up and finally hit the road about 3km higher up the mountain than where we’d started. Fortunately the hare was waiting for us there with beers and a ride back to the A. Some foolish runners decided to run back down the hill, we picked some up, and passed the others.

An uphill hash… Just what we need before heading out on Square Rooter’s Doi Suthep run today… :(

18th August – CH4 – Alice

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Alice comes all the way over from Saudi, and when he steps up to set a run, he generally puts plenty of effort it – generally! We heard from Baldrick about how he’d been awol all week hiking around the hills in search of virgins, or virgin trail. The bunnies also had a special run today though, so the numbers were a little low, so when I arrived with legs already aching from yesterday, it was ominous to see HRA & Humperdick (still recovering from Dengue) as the only true FRBs about. It could be interesting.

We set off and I got the first check wrong – typical! I rejoined Humps & HRA at the 2nd check, where HRA was forced to do the dummy run, the wrong way down the hill. The last time he made that mistake as he turned into a circle guard unless he was certain he was correct… We cut inland for a loop, before heading back out to the road through tall grass. Along the road a bit further before Alice found the trail he wanted us on, and we headed for the mountains. I was hitting the checks well, and doing my best to set a reasonable pace, but when I finally got one wrong, HRA, Square Rooter & Humperdick appeared right behind me.

A little confusion at the top of the hill and HRA managed to slip away from us as Bend Over and Baldrick joined us in a second pack trying to chase down the silent running HRA. We ran through another old runsite, and I realised just how far we had left to go… From then though the checks were mostly straight ahead, and we had no chance of hearing HRA again. I ended up doing the stupid checks right and left while Humperdick ran ahead and Bend Over guarded the checks.

All in all a damn good run, a bit over 7km so my legs will definitely be feeling it tomorrow!

17th August – CSH3 – Square Rooter

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Hmmm… Square Rooter, and he’s setting the run from part way up Doi Suthep mountain… it isn’t going to be a flat run… :( And my car is in the garage… I’m superhuman right? Surely I can ride my bike up the mountain and then do the hash and then ride it down again? Right? yeah right…

I got to the A bucket about 5 minutes before the hare brief, and my legs were already very wobbly – it’s been too long since I’ve ridden the bike, and I’d forgotten just how steep the bottom part of the mountain is. It was also about 2 minutes before the storm started, and sure enough by the time we set off on the run, we were already drenched – apart from Snail Trail, who decided to take an umbrella with her.

The ‘Rambos’ did an extra little loop down the road, just to add a bit more climbing back up to where we rejoined the Wimps very quickly. A check and the FRBs were on their way up, only to quickly get to another Wimp/Rambo split. Bah, it’s got to be the Rambo, although we know what that involves… I set to it and carried on climbing, in the pouring rain, with “On On” calls being drowned out by the pitter patter.

It kept going up, but by now my legs had got into the mode, and I just kept climbing… Eventually we got to a check and I figured he hadn’t punished us enough yet, so kept going on up – up round the corner and out of earshot. Square Rooter sets long checks sometimes, so I kept going, and tried along a little trail to the left – which would surely head back towards the road? Who knows, I slipped around on the side of the mountain for quite a while before I eventually found my way back to a trail, with paper on it, but no hashers and no calls. Well it was raining… I stumbled down as best I could, trying to go easy on the ankle, until I found Square Rooter coming the other way. The bastard told me which way to go to finish the trail, even though we must have been about 100m away from the cars – when I finally got back, he was beaming about his little joke.

Not a bad run, but I enjoyed riding the bike down the mountain a lot more than the way up!

27th July – CSH3 – Frozen Dick

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With many of the FRBs missing (Pattaya Outstation / English Summer), it was a medium sized pack that set off from 10km or so down canal road. We were next to a motocross track, which we’ve run past before, and the hares set us off around the track. I got the first couple of checks right, and was going well with Semen Soars not far behind. My instinct at the next check was right, but I just wasn’t quick enough to dart left before SS got there. I ended up going on a longer parallel run, all the way around some farm, with calls of On-On somewhere in the distance to my left. Eventually I got onto a road and jogged along rejoining the pack at another check.

From here we headed into the hills – not major hills, just some minor undulations. I wasn’t sure how far we’d gone, but eventually popped back out of the hills along a little creek – I recognised bits from runs from the cremation place around the back at the end of canal road. We emerged into an orchard, with trails all over the place – Again I ended up paralleling, as Semen Soars led the way. This time it was a short cut though, and I found paper again when HRA was checking off to the right. Square Rooter claimed he was following me, as he also took the slightly shorter route.

We must be nearly back? The terrain was similar to where we’d parked the cars, I just wasn’t sure which road it was on. With HRA not far behind I decided to try and out run him back, only to find more checks and the run seemed to go on forever! Finally HRA caught me up, and I was down to a hobble as he took the lead. He got ahead just in time to hit a final false trail check back. Som Num Na amigo!

All in all a good run, and a good circle.

21st July – CH4 – Square Rooter

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Already a little ‘anaesthetised’ from hangover run beers, I figured I’d give Square Rooter a chance and attempt his run. Damn – Suthep Road – the base of the mountain? This might not be pretty… The CH4 is getting a good turnout these days, and the girls were already doting over the attractive young Spanish visitor. Damn him! Or damn the fickle attentions of our female hashers?

We set off the usual way up the road, and I was making efforts to get off to a reasonable start and got the first check right, only to climb a long way to the check back at the 2nd check. I consoled myself with the thought that it probably wasn’t meant for me, but I was just unlucky to get it. DFL and it was right at the start of the run! I wondered if I would even see anyone again!

It turned out that my ankle was feeling good, and certainly Up Hill it was going well. I managed to get back with the pack, and felt great to be out on the trail – even with it being a SR special! And it was a SR special! I’ve run most of those trails before, so I wasn’t concerned about getting lost, I was just concerned about which way he was taking us. So often he teased us with a break to the left, and then back to the right. It was a really well thought out set.

My troubles came towards the end when we had to come back down the hill and I found my ankle wasn’t quite to strong on the descent. Our Spanish stallion swept past me, along with Shaven Haven who I’d never seen run so well! And humbling as it is, Kwazi came up behind me and very kindly asked for me to get out of the way so he could come through. Thankfully it wasn’t far back down – not quite sure how he managed it, but the clever set brought us back to the A.

The circle was good, but would have been a little better had SR had his 3 beer limit! 😉