Tag Archives: Angry Inch

17th March – CH4 – Angry Inch

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Angry Inch teamed up with Foxy Cleopatra to set the trail at…. guess where… the Ag Centre. The Ch4’s most popular location, would they find something to vary the usual route? Answer – yes, a bit… Firstly because of yet another brand new barbed wire fence. They are seriously closing off parts of the area, and there is no way of getting through past the top of the reservoir now. That meant we cut through the football field.

The early checks were thus fairly predictable – although HRA picked a brain dead choice at the V check, and we never saw him again! And lo a LONG, LONG trudge along the road, with no checks before we cut into the hills. Graven and I ran together, as I found the in trail at one check, paralleling back together before a wimp rambo split – it was a weekend of wimp rambos!

Not long after was where things got a bit messed up! As we got to a familiar lake, where just a week or so back, Graven had confidently told me “you can’t get around the back of this lake”, well the trail today was definitely heading around the back. We’d been warned in the hare brief about climbing, and as we got to a (dry) waterfall, there was a circle check that had us in circles until Human Ex called it.

I was meanwhile up on the wrong side of the waterfall, so carried on up until I found paper – not long before Graven found paper beneath me… Something strange there, but whatever… We set off again and then found Humperdick coming the wrong way! Again! He was convinced he’d been on paper all the time – and as it turned out he had been, just going in the wrong direction… Confusion reigned as the trail hooked around, back over the dam, and back to the wimp rambo check.

Whatever, Graven and I had had enough and jogged back together. Interesting, if confusing extra loop to send the rambos through!

9th March – CSH3 – Sloppy Rod / Geisha Gash

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Rating: 8.0/10 (1 vote cast)

The birthday pairing teamed up for a 2nd year, and this time took us out to Maejo – the reservoir behind the Tiger Camp. That was where I first co-hared with HRA, and I remember having fun scouting there. There are so many trails around, and with the experience of Sloppy, surely it would be a good run?

Sloppy arrived fairly early and told me the run was to just go around the lake. Was he bluffing? Was it real? Never trust the hares right?

He set us off over the dam wall, with Humperdick spotting the powder on top of the wall. There was a circle check at the end of the dam, and I decided to trust the hare, and picked the nice trail running along the back of the lake. It’s a narrow trail, and when I found the paper, I knew the pack would have trouble getting past the walkers. It also meant there would be no checks for a long time as there aren’t many trail options.

Finally Angry Inch came up behind me, and promptly got the one check wrong – we didn’t see him again for sometime! We crossed a boggy part, where Big Top lost her shoes. Finally we got to the end of the lake with the pack stretched out, only Horny Monkey and None of Your Business were near me as we crossed the road at the W/R split.

Then we hit some great running trails – the ideal trails for a training run. With the pack broken up, there was little chance of it coming back together. Running along with Horny Monkey at the front, we picked check after check right, and Horny wasn’t in the mood to check the wrong way. Graven eventually caught us up as we nearly got to the road in time for the jog along the tarmac back to the A. As the hare said, it was just around the lake – at least that was for the walkers. The Rambo trail added a great little jog.

24th Feb – CH4 – Itchy Bitchy

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Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

I have vague memories of EVIL Big Top’s wise decision to buy 3 large Leo’s just after most people had gone home – leaving me, the sipping BT and the slurring Horny Monkey to consume them appropriately… Needless to say I wasn’t feeling too good this morning – I wasn’t feeling too good this afternoon either, and by run time I was feeling decidedly unsure about the whole idea.

Oh well, I’ll give it a go, and set off to the familiar ground of the Ag Centre – afterall I could always short cut if it didn’t work out… I wasn’t the only one who looked reluctant as we set off – the hare brief was more of a hare encouragement – for once nobody was chomping on the bit to get going, we could have easily stayed there a bit longer. Nope, it was on out, and I walked along with Chuckie discussing the relative merits of a ‘brisk walk’ over all that checking business.

Around the corner and there was the first check – true to my brisk walk intentions I sauntered along the dam – over 100m, but eventually I spotted some powder. Nice, I kept up the walk until I got to the next check just ahead of Mr. Poo. I had first pick and went up over the old run site on the hill, again taking my time to inspect the blob of white stuff on a rock to ensure it was the expected trail consistency. “On On”.

The pack followed and it was on to the next check – where I’d started the Santa run from. I mosied my way over to where there was a squarish looking piece of paper, and called back to Angry Inch for his recommendation. “On On”. A pattern was forming. I found the trail off each circle, ambled my way to the next check ensuring I had first pick so the chasing pack were forced to do the extra distance.

I had every intention of short cutting, but found myself tracking along nicely. Finally Chuck Wao and HRA caught me up and when I finally picked wrong at the last circle, the pair of them turned the run into a race and sprinted off. As I passed the On-In I found Graven Image, Mr Poo, Angry Inch coming from all directions after their badly disguised short cuts. Meanwhile the troopers like Humperdick and Unplugged did the whole run.

Sunday 17th Feb – CH4 – Semen Sores

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Rating: 9.0/10 (1 vote cast)

It was out to Semen’s favourite run site, and as usual people got lost.. This time I feel a little sorry for the hare as he’d built a mountain of signs and there were signs at virtually every junction – I blame the lazy Mr. Poo for fucking off on honeymoon and not getting the directions out in the sms, or perhaps the lazy HRA for not bothering with emails this week. Whatever the run was delayed and we all got there.

SS planned a live hare with assistance from his son – you should have seen his face when I told him Gorf was coming down from Chiang Rai for the run!!! He almost set off to set the run straight away, but instead adjusted his headstart from 5 to 6 minutes. Finally he set off up the temple steps and we (apart from Frozen Dick) waited dutifully for 6 minutes before setting off. At the first circle I found one thread of paper inadvertently dropped a few yards to the left, and we were off at a good pace determined to catch the bastard.

Gorf, Chuckie and I jogged along and took turns in peeling off on the wrong trail until we got to the first “Graven” Check. Wow – SS must love GI, he picked him out for special attention! Fortunately GI was right up there with us and we continued out into the rice fields with Angry Inch tagging along – the little guy was determined not to do any checking, preferring to play a game of “follow the leader”. Even he decided not to short cut though as there wouldn’t be paper there yet to cut across to.

I like the concept of live hares, and the pace was quick – we didn’t know he’d planned an 8 km monster! We looped around and crossed the canal, only to come back across at the next bridge and head into the rice fields. It isn’t the right time of year to be on the rice walls – is there a good time? One farmer was justifiably annoyed, particularly when None of Your Business decided to straight line it destroying his crops. I pottered along trying not to do much damage, and then lucked out when the trail did a big zig zag. We got back onto the out trail, and a tired (blistered) Chucky came alongside and we walked in together putting the world to rights!

11th Feb – CH3 – Humperdick

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Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Exhaustion… 2 brutal runs by Skiddy, (inspired by Belly & Square Rooter), over the weekend coupled with an epic afternoon drinking session (inspired by Gascoigne & Big Top) had me feeling worse for wear over my coffee this morning. Nonetheless I made it to work, and my hangover had the common decency to kick in right about the time my class was due to start. Bugger – there could only be one cure for it, so I set off to the hash.

Humperdick Humperdick Humperdick – couldn’t be too bad right? He hasn’t really built a reputation for runs (yet). I mean – apart from them being on canal road. I’m not entirely sure what his style is, but he does put in effort, so I was hopeful he’d be kind and gentle….

We were pointed off and Belly Dancer did his usual olympic sprinter start. My brain told my legs to run, and my legs told my brain to fuck off. This wasn’t going to be pleasant. At the first check Belly went off to the right, and I found the paper straight on. Normally at this point it’s the end of Belly’s charge and we meet him back at the circle for a beer, but not today. Today he’d roided up and was on a mission. He stormed ahead while I fucked up at the first Skiddy check. He was 100m ahead of everyone till he came to a small decline that was about 3 steps down, and by the time he’d crossed it, he was 100m behind. Seriously? Even Horny Monkey passed him!

Into the hills we went and there was a part that confused everyone. Horny Monkey did one route, while Angry Inch, Graven and I did another – neither was right, and when the EVIL MOFO HARE described later what he actually wanted us to do, I was glad about the ‘compromise’ we’d come to. Compromise? Short Cut? Who cares?

The trail started climbing… Who am I kidding? There was no fucking trail… We scrambled over shiggy crap with leaves covering rocks tripping our way over the hill – a familiar trail – I didn’t enjoy it the first time we’d done it… Finally we got out to the guys yard, and he proudly pointed out the paper on his bushes… We meet random people out on trail, but it’s nice when they are happy for us to run through their gardens! I sprinted past GI & AI, and immediately regretted it, taking the wrong option at the gate.

Damn… I tried to run… but my legs resisted… It took some determined self restraint to set off following the paper rather than just shortcutting back to the beer, but I managed. Hardly any more checks, just another 3km or so around and back to the A. At least this bit was flat. I finally got back some 10 minutes or so after the FRBs, but it was a long time before Frozen Dick dragged in the stragglers; Slippery When Wet, Fishy Fingers and Tip Toe.

Sups had thought better of the whole affair and done a “Festering Tool”.

9th Feb – CSH3 – Big Top

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Rating: 7.7/10 (3 votes cast)

Big Top was the hare for the valentines themed run and with plenty of hashers staying over at the Insda resort for the hash wedding, setting the run from there seemed like a good idea…. It seemed like a good idea right up to the point when I parked the car and saw that there were only mountains around the resort. Ugh, it was going to be a climbing run.

The bus(es) arrived and we figured we could have a hare brief and set off with Angry Inch chasing me along the trail which abruptly turned up and so began the first ascent. God damnit I hate hills. We finally hit a flat trail part way up the mountain with a check – I picked right, which wasn’t right as right was actually left so quickly found myself behind a pack scrambling along the narrow trail.

The trail turned into a huge clearing with steep cliffs all around. Amid confusion, we spent a while searching for the inevitable skiddy sticks. It was Shagless that eventually rescued us and we headed back towards the resort. At the next check I screwed the run up (a bit) calling On the wrong trail. Everybody was together, and I tried to lead them back while Pamela was explaining to Eat my Tofu what idiots the FRBs were.

Steep down the side of the cliff I took off with Shagless, only to be completely alone for a while. Graven caught up and we jogged along together for a while until we found some checks already kicked out. It seems the pack had found a short cut and were already tucking into beers at the A. Looking at the map, it seems the trails were close to each other, but that doesn’t explain why HRA led a group along the road and in the front entrance of the resort!

3rd January – CH4 – His Royal Anus

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Rating: 8.0/10 (3 votes cast)

HRA teamed up with Crazy Crack and Ravenous to set a run out towards the Tiger Camp. He likes that area, and this time had found a new A-Bucket. He looked proud of himself as he pointed out the luvly shelter he’d found with a luvly bridge next to it. Turns out he had got lost and used this location by default! Crazy Crack guarded the shelter warning us to duck to get in – except for Frozen who collapsed to the ground with a thud.

On Out, and Angry Inch led the way through a rice field and he was away getting the first few checks spot on. I figured the golf course was nearby and wasn’t surprised when we ended up on the canal trail that cuts through the golf course. A check at the end brought the pack back together while we found our way out onto the road. When we hit the road, I figured we had to loop left or right, and with 15 holes on the right and only 3 holes to the left, left seemed the logical choice, and sure enough Graven and I found trail.

Shortly after we found skiddy sticks but I was having a purple patch hitting everything right. UNTIL we got to another road and a V check. What kind of a dumbass checks right? Up the hill in the wrong direction along the fence of a farm that I knew was enormous and impossible to get through? Chuckie and Sloppy Rod got a jump on the rest of us as bizarrely lots of others came following me.

Sloppy was on good form and nailed the last check, before a long run along the mud road and back in on the out trail. A pleasant run in a new area – good work hares!

27th January – CH4 – Anything & Throbbing Ninja

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Rating: 8.0/10 (2 votes cast)

Anything & Throbbing Ninja teaming up to set the run…. Run that past me again? Throbbing Ninja has a historic reputation for welcoming a group of visitors from overseas by setting one of the biggest hill climbs in hash history (recently surpassed by the ball breaker, but epic nonetheless). Anything has set some good runs, but you can be sure they will always be a tough test. I was worried!

We set off onto the road and back on a familiar trail through the field. Angry Inch was on my heels, and immediately my calf started tightening up. I just hoped I’d run it off and it did seem to ease off, but my legs were definitely feeling the effects of Frozen’s run the day before.

The pack was kept together as we searched for paper with the hares laying trail on the left, and then the right, and then the left, and then hiding it in trees (so it wouldn’t get burnt?). The road took us up and we finally got to a check. Angry Inch must be obsessed with my ass, and he followed me around the corner as Chuckie spluttered. It was HRA tho that checked the other way and when I turned back at the check back, sure enough CW was also behind me!

The next opportunity took us up into the hills and most of the run was on the great trails up in the mountains. Our visitor from Florida couldn’t stop smiling – he’d loved it! As we came down the hill there was a breakaway of Mr Poo, Angry Inch and now named (Cheap) Hole Hunter being chased down by HRA, myself, Chuck Wao and Graven Image. There were some excellent places for checks, but no checks as we back and forth up and down at the edge of the hills. Finally we hit the trail at the bottom and it was home free. I slowed to a walk and was gradually passed by Skiddy, Unplugged, Human Ex, while Crazy Crack & None of Your Business were close behind. Actually a great run that was a little much for me, with my only criticism being not enough checks at certain points!

Back in time for the circle….. Yikes!

26th January – CSH3 – Frozen Dick

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Frozen Dick has a unique way of advertising his runs and one way or another… This time he chose “my” area past Doi Saket, and through various conversations over the week he’d mentioned “blue spirit houses” and a couple of other unique landmarks that gave me a damn good idea of the general route of the run – having set a bunch of runs there and previously scouting all the trails (and non-trails) around there, I was confident I knew all the permutations…

We set off with Angry Inch on my tail – literally – he followed me through the first couple of checks until I guessed one wrong – there were 2 main ways to get up onto the mountain, and the hare chose the other one. No matter, we headed back to the road and Angry Inch was lost soon at a check when he went through barbed wire to a trail to nowhere. Shortly further on the other trail into the mountain was on the right, but the trail continued down the road – hmmm… Go for it boys, I turned to Chuckie and we swiftly avoided a false trail and set off up to the hill.

There was a circle check and CW trusted me when I told him it was up the hill to a parallel trail – sure enough we got to powder, and then a circle. This time he didn’t trust me, and while I checked left, he went back to the right. I called “On” but didn’t see him again. I jogged along, simply enjoying running the trails that I’d set as a hare before, but never run. I found the hare’s knife, and spent the rest of the run with it open as I couldn’t figure out how to close it.

Around the ridge we came to the spirit house and down to the creek bed. The circle check there is ingenious – if you don’t know about the trail that runs just a bit further along the creek. Sadly for FD I knew where we were and the likes of Sloppy Rod, Graven Image, Skid Mark and Horny Monkey came straight along the creek following my calls – leaving an unbroken circle for CW to figure out.

The rest of us FRBs were onto the trail behind the mountain – a great running trail! Hard to set checks, as ‘straight’ is the obvious choice. With Sloppy and Graven around 100m behind they kicked out the checks each time I called them, until we reached the inevitable “skiddy sticks” hybrid check, complete with my own powder bottle! I could have set a new trail, but played the game and went back to mark the way over the ridge.

Another couple of checks were straight on with Sloppy snapping at my heels and Graven licking his chops. We hit the fence and though I’d been there a bunch of times I wasn’t sure – left and then right, or right and then left? Bugger… Sloppy slipped away to the left and I hooked up with Graven, Horny Monkey and Skid Mark for the final moments.

That’s my story of the run… It seems other people had many different stories behind me – Mr. Poo sloping off with Doesn’t Get It to make sure she does… Unplugged slipping away with Angry Inch to see if the extra angry inch is worth it… Big Top lagging behind with Redundant Semen to ??? who knows what they were up to, but it took a while for them to get back with FD needing to separate them.

19th Jan – CSH3 – Superman

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Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast)

You would have thought that the highest combined runcounts in Chiang Mai history (Superman & Superbitch) we could have had a good run?! On route to the run most of us missed the right turn off the Sameong road as the sign was on the left – rookie mistake #1.

In the hare brief we were told we would be missing out on the luxuries of ‘modern’ checks like circles, V checks and Skiddy sticks, and today would be just Cross checks… Interesting concept! The problem with cross checks is the different opinions about how to call on them – should we call “OnOn” until we aren’t, or should we call “checking” for ever? The problem is amplified when we get a bunch of visitor virgin FRBs who decide not to call at all. :(

The runsite was about 1km from Sup’s home, cutting the flat part of the run out so we could just deal with the hills – fortunately they are gentle rolling hills with plenty of trail options. Apart from the frustrations of calling, we found our way through and finally hit the inevitable trail by the night safari. I was jogging along with Angry Inch as the true trail headed inland again and we thought better of it – my legs were still feeling the effects of last Sunday, so I jogged back in to get ready for the circle.