Exhaustion… 2 brutal runs by Skiddy, (inspired by Belly & Square Rooter), over the weekend coupled with an epic afternoon drinking session (inspired by Gascoigne & Big Top) had me feeling worse for wear over my coffee this morning. Nonetheless I made it to work, and my hangover had the common decency to kick in right about the time my class was due to start. Bugger – there could only be one cure for it, so I set off to the hash.
Humperdick Humperdick Humperdick – couldn’t be too bad right? He hasn’t really built a reputation for runs (yet). I mean – apart from them being on canal road. I’m not entirely sure what his style is, but he does put in effort, so I was hopeful he’d be kind and gentle….
We were pointed off and Belly Dancer did his usual olympic sprinter start. My brain told my legs to run, and my legs told my brain to fuck off. This wasn’t going to be pleasant. At the first check Belly went off to the right, and I found the paper straight on. Normally at this point it’s the end of Belly’s charge and we meet him back at the circle for a beer, but not today. Today he’d roided up and was on a mission. He stormed ahead while I fucked up at the first Skiddy check. He was 100m ahead of everyone till he came to a small decline that was about 3 steps down, and by the time he’d crossed it, he was 100m behind. Seriously? Even Horny Monkey passed him!
Into the hills we went and there was a part that confused everyone. Horny Monkey did one route, while Angry Inch, Graven and I did another – neither was right, and when the EVIL MOFO HARE described later what he actually wanted us to do, I was glad about the ‘compromise’ we’d come to. Compromise? Short Cut? Who cares?
The trail started climbing… Who am I kidding? There was no fucking trail… We scrambled over shiggy crap with leaves covering rocks tripping our way over the hill – a familiar trail – I didn’t enjoy it the first time we’d done it… Finally we got out to the guys yard, and he proudly pointed out the paper on his bushes… We meet random people out on trail, but it’s nice when they are happy for us to run through their gardens! I sprinted past GI & AI, and immediately regretted it, taking the wrong option at the gate.
Damn… I tried to run… but my legs resisted… It took some determined self restraint to set off following the paper rather than just shortcutting back to the beer, but I managed. Hardly any more checks, just another 3km or so around and back to the A. At least this bit was flat. I finally got back some 10 minutes or so after the FRBs, but it was a long time before Frozen Dick dragged in the stragglers; Slippery When Wet, Fishy Fingers and Tip Toe.
Sups had thought better of the whole affair and done a “Festering Tool”.
Posted in Blog, CH3 - Monday, CH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Angry Inch, Belly Dancer, Fishy Fingers, Frozen Dick, Graven Image, Horny Monkey, Humperdick, Slippery When Wet, Superman, Tip Toe
In honour of Superman’s 600th run, Skiddy set the trail close by Sup’s office and spent a good while explaining to the Songthaew driver how to get there. Nonetheless we set off on time, and jogged along past some dogs to the first check, which most of immediately got wrong as we chose not to check through someone’s garden. Anyway, it wouldn’t be the last time I screwed up and seemed to spend most of my time coming back from checking in the wrong places. One of my bad checks left me so far off trail that most of the hashers thought I’d short cut. Nope I was just a long way behind for a long time. When I overtook Frozen he asked where I’d come from. I gradually picked off Tip Toe, Superman, Sticky Wicket, Slippery When Wet, and eventually got to the back of the FRBs as they looked after the Skiddy Sticks.
I turned back and quickly picked up the paper going back in the opposite direction. I hit the front of the pack and my luck changed as I ran through the next few checks with voices getting fainter behind me. The last circle caught me out though and I spent some time checking along the road before cutting into the field. I could hear Skiddy roaring with laughter in that direction, so I knew I must be close. Turns out I found the beer before the On-In, but went back to guide the pack through a tiny tunnel.
Just about all my legs wanted after 3 days consecutive hashing. Shame about the circle! 😉
A virgin hare – which means weeks of panicking in the desperate hope that everything works perfectly! Slippery was a nervous wreck for an hour or so before the run as he busily counted people as they arrived in the desperate hope they reached the magic #40 – which would trigger the reduced entrance fee to Ratchapreuk. He shouldn’t have worried, over 50 hashers showed up. Knowing we would be going inside Royal Flora, meant we knew it would be a flat run, no mountains and probably not the longest run/walk. The hare brief consisted of promises that we could short cut, along with some confusing new checks.
Then we were pointed across the car park in the direction of the park entrance. Cunningly the hares had extended the run by using the car park half a km from the entrance! Once inside the first circle was pivotal to know which way around the park we’d go – I got it right, left it was. Immediately I did a little loop around a garden just to get back to where the short cutters could see me.
At the next check there was a large lake, which surely we’d go around? Nope. After a few more loops around in circles we had Belly Dancer leading Big Top and others straight lining their way to keep up. The trail took us up some stairs, but at the bottom there were arrows pointing in all directions. What the hell, I’ll play the game and run up the stairs only to run around a big circular balcony while those below watched and laughed. Again Belly was at the front, and his competitive spirit pushed him to run through a check back to find inevitable trail further along, calling us to confusion as we doubled back on the trail in the wrong direction.
When Turkish Delight and I finally figured it out we found Skid Mark and Humperdick already ahead along with Angry Inch. How they managed that I have no idea! We doubled back past the temple, and again were completely confused searching for trail which had perhaps been washed away. All of a sudden it was Just Cumming as the FRB – wtf? How did he get there? Humperdick stood grumbling about the dutch windmill missing an arm as we ran through the international gardens. Finally heading back towards the entrance with Skid Mark and Turkish Delight, and with Unplugged, Plan and Big Top short cutting their way towards us.
From the looks of facebook this morning, while we were busy running, most of the ladies just went for a photo shoot in the park, posing in front of different flowers etc. Either way it was a very different hash. When hares try to do something different, it always takes some extra efforts, and is also prone to turning into a fuck up! This time, they’d thought it out, and it worked – lots of smiling faces for the circle. OnOn.
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Belly Dancer, Big Top, Humperdick, Just Cumming, Plan, Shagless, Skid Mark, Slippery When Wet, Turkish Delight, Unplugged
When my GPS says the run was 4 hours… and distance 7km… then I assume Belly Dancer must have set one of his psycho runs again… The somewhat more logical answer is that I forgot to switch my GPS off once I got back to the A after a perfectly reasonable run!
Turkish Delight is C*nt.
Thought I should get that off my chest.
With a few days notice, Skiddy and Doggie stepped up and put together what was a great run. While the rains might have put some off, we still had a reasonable number show up, including my oldest son doing his first hash – many thanks to Frozen Dick for making sure he survived! The bonus is, it sounds like he wants to come back – and help babysit the youngsters in the future! 😀
We had a hare brief – it wasn’t – we left. On On. Paper dripping water. Puddles and Splashes. Up the hill? No. I played around on the mountain side for a while, before realising it wasn’t going to be an evil run. First Skiddy Checks screwed Turkish – at least I hope they did, and I couldn’t think of a more deserving character. On On.
Turkey, a.k.a. Silent Running Bastard, hit the front and chose not to call. Not a sound. Virtually everyone on the hash knew the cnut was a racist, but what can you do? The sporty FRBs like Chuckie and HRA were out of town so we were left with TD. My favourite moment of the day was seeing him out in a field after a well placed Skiddy Sticks – serve the MF right!
As we hit a village, not sure what happened to the trail… The paper was marked one way, it was as though there was a check, but no check left. Turned out the true trail was in a different direction, and TD (akacnut) found trail and wasn’t heard again.
Nonetheless, it was a GREAT trail – I really enjoyed it – great scenery, excellent checks that kept us all together, at short notice great work hares.
I also (for once) enjoyed the circle! Cameos included I Got Gas, Slippery When Wet and Anything, with a drunken Rooter also being a highlight. The On On ON was right there. Probably one of the most enjoyable hash evenings I’ve had in a while!
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Anything, CSH3, Dog Shit, Frozen Dick, I Got Gas, Skid Mark, Slippery When Wet, Square Rooter, Turkish Delight