Many thanks to the LBH3 – we had a lot of fun without them! In the skies there was a battle between Evil RA and Good RA with the Evil RA sending a storm which turned the planned A site into a muddy swamp and had some hashers making a break and heading home. Those that braved it out saw JC part the clouds and move the runsite to a much better location just up the hill – no more rain – JC had won.
We took off down the road along the paper we’d seen while driving in. Cutting left at the circle check, I led the hashers in a pointless little loop that took us back to the A within about a km, only for JC and Wooly Jumper to point us off down another trail… – Runs like today really make you appreciate it when the hare takes the time to scout their run properly! The rest of the trail could have been set by motorbike, but I got more than my share of checks right 😉
Sounds faded behind me – largely because we had 2 of Chiang Mai’s most notorious silent runners (Turkish and Sloppy) – actually I probably didn’t need to name them, you all knew that anyway. It turns out the pair of them also attempted a short cut in their “Win at All Costs” strategy and promptly got completely lost, leaving a bemused Mr. Poo.
While many circles start well and go downhill, this one started slowly, but rose to a crescendo where Anything topped it off with another performance where she loudly berated Turkey’s erection. Turkey fully deserves his personal block of ice, and had us completely entertained at the OnOnOn… – What does “neuw” mean? I’m buying eskimos…
Have I mentioned to anyone that I’m not really fond of hills??? Boy Scout Camp? I was wondering if a flat run was at all possible there. What the hell – with Dick Tracy in charge, it surely wouldn’t be too bad? At least that’s what I thought until I arrived at the run site to find Square Rooter holding a bag of paper grinning from ear to… erm… moving on.
I arrived early enough to witness one of the best hare/co-hare tiffs in history – once Dick Tracy found his own way back off the mountain where he’d been left stranded by his co-hare. Dick Tracy wasn’t happy, he wanted no ‘credit’ or ‘blame’ from the run and promptly stormed off in his car puffing away. He was back in time to delegate the hare brief to SR, and a crowd of hashers set off wondering what the hell we’d let ourselves in for.
Within seconds the incline was so steep most were on hands and knees sliding in the mud. It didn’t get much better. The hare (or probably the co-hare) and ingeniously put in some evil LONG check backs and the checks had me pretty screwed again and again – only I Got Gas seemed to be clued in as I went around and around in circles. I realise that technically that’s the idea of the hash, but scrambling up the steep hillside wasn’t that much fun for me. One particular check had me going a couple of hundred metres downhill, only to hit a check back and have to climb my way back. Finally we crossed the waterfall balancing on a weir before the briefest of descents back to the A.
Hats off to the hares who managed to find a run which was virtually all uphill, but somehow got us back to the A. I’ll have a long think before going to another run at the Boy Scout Camp – oh shit, the Happy Hash is there again this weekend.
When my GPS says the run was 4 hours… and distance 7km… then I assume Belly Dancer must have set one of his psycho runs again… The somewhat more logical answer is that I forgot to switch my GPS off once I got back to the A after a perfectly reasonable run!
Turkish Delight is C*nt.
Thought I should get that off my chest.
With a few days notice, Skiddy and Doggie stepped up and put together what was a great run. While the rains might have put some off, we still had a reasonable number show up, including my oldest son doing his first hash – many thanks to Frozen Dick for making sure he survived! The bonus is, it sounds like he wants to come back – and help babysit the youngsters in the future! 😀
We had a hare brief – it wasn’t – we left. On On. Paper dripping water. Puddles and Splashes. Up the hill? No. I played around on the mountain side for a while, before realising it wasn’t going to be an evil run. First Skiddy Checks screwed Turkish – at least I hope they did, and I couldn’t think of a more deserving character. On On.
Turkey, a.k.a. Silent Running Bastard, hit the front and chose not to call. Not a sound. Virtually everyone on the hash knew the cnut was a racist, but what can you do? The sporty FRBs like Chuckie and HRA were out of town so we were left with TD. My favourite moment of the day was seeing him out in a field after a well placed Skiddy Sticks – serve the MF right!
As we hit a village, not sure what happened to the trail… The paper was marked one way, it was as though there was a check, but no check left. Turned out the true trail was in a different direction, and TD (akacnut) found trail and wasn’t heard again.
Nonetheless, it was a GREAT trail – I really enjoyed it – great scenery, excellent checks that kept us all together, at short notice great work hares.
I also (for once) enjoyed the circle! Cameos included I Got Gas, Slippery When Wet and Anything, with a drunken Rooter also being a highlight. The On On ON was right there. Probably one of the most enjoyable hash evenings I’ve had in a while!
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Anything, CSH3, Dog Shit, Frozen Dick, I Got Gas, Skid Mark, Slippery When Wet, Square Rooter, Turkish Delight
Kids were super excited about swimming today, so we were early out to I got Gas’s pool, ready for the big hash / barbecue / pool party! I had high hopes, until I Got Gas confessed to Frozen Dick’s influence into the run, but anyway we’ll give it a go. Setting off over a concrete bridge, we were soon back on the road, and as is my custom, I set the early pace… Frozen Dick clearly wanted to screw me early with a long set of Skiddy Sticks… But sadly when we got there, the sticks were gone, and we spent a while ‘looking’ until Skiddy played CSI and discovered evidence of there formerly being sticks…
Wooly Jumper was for a short while the FRB, as the trail headed off towards the Tiger camp area. I jogged along with Chuckie, only to get badly screwed at the next check, and spend a long time chasing the pack to get back together. Up the hill – fortunately not too bad – and we ran into confusion at a check with some old paper hanging. Fortunately Turkey and I found the real paper and we headed off back down the hill.
The next set of skiddy sticks didn’t confuse me as I spotted the paper off trail to the left and then we were on familiar ground – through an old A site, a dip into the jungle until I found Doggie short cutting his was in from the road. Stan on his return ran smartly in along with Can’t Stop Cumming – who is always keen to overtake after the On-In.
The pool was an obvious draw after the run, and it took some effort to get the circle started. The highlight of the circle had to be Mr. Poo drinking from another man’s ‘not’ new shoes… Apart from that, I propose we follow the mantra “short circle is a good circle”, and change the circle format to -> 1) Open Circle 2) Splash Hares 3) Wings 4) Close Circle. Who’s with me??
My favourite part of hashing is the run, then only Chuck Wow grumbles into my ear… (Ok, so does Humperdick… and Graven…), but at least it’s limited to those who I can’t run away from!
When BmY sets a run, he knows how to set the bar high and today’s hash was no exception! He carefully (lovingly) considers the placement of every piece of paper, with a masterful selection of checks, cunningly arranged to trap the unwitting FRBs. The only question mark going into the run was his choice of co-hare – could Square Rooter screw things up or would it be another perfect trail?
Of course it was brilliant – arguably the best run of the century – a design without parallel. Belly Dancer was off to his usual early sprint – to make sure he could get the first check wrong and never be seen again… Sloppy set off as though it was a race – “To the first skiddy sticks!”. Chucky got caught out right at the end with some more skiddy sticks.
Afterwards everyone complimented the fantastic hares for setting such a wonderful trail!
We set off towards the football field along the canal road, only to drive past it and weave our way along bumpy roads to a novel run site – so novel that HRA was desperate to plot the co-ordinates so he could return and steal the route again, while many of the female driving hashers were already worried about a dark exit… The perfectionist hare was already busy assisting Turkish with his erection.
Right on cue Sups arrived so we could unload and set off in good time. I careered off, sprinting down the hill, only to get the first check completely wrong and have to pick my way through hashers as we doubled back straight up the hill to where the hare was waiting. Bastard.
We jogged along, and then scrambled through some shiggy and finally intercepted some familiar trails. The pace was ok, with Chuckie, HRA, myself, Unplugged, Horny Monkey and occasionally Turkish taking turns at the front. We climbed up a gentle trail, before plunging down a road – time to open up the legs, only to find a sharp corner at the bottom as the sadistic hare turned and took us back up the hill again. Argh – Chuckie, loving the hills, hit the front and nobody could keep pace with him. We arced back down and surely this would be it? No – there was more pain to come with another climb to get over to the next valley – from the top of this final ascent Turkey’s Erection had the ladies gasping and all charged towards it. As I finally dropped to a walk on the road at the On-In, I was suddenly passed by a pack including Roger D and Big Top! WTF? Where did they come from? Clearly they came straight along the road missing the final climbs. Short Cutting and Sprint Finishing – excellent hash behaviour.
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Big Top, Chuckie, CSH3, Horny Monkey, HRA, Humperdick, Superman, Turkish Delight, Unplugged
One of hashs best kept secrets, HRA didn’t want anyone to know where the run was – he was even out laying trail before he got someone to send a message where it was – was he so ashamed of his run? I guess we would soon find out and we were pointed off in the general direction of the temple steps (near the football field towards Sameong). Ominous, but HRA has a habit of giving information away without intending to give information away – so I was confident of not needing to climb the steps.
Sure enough I ran into paper along the road and diverted onto the trail up the hill. I was in Forrest Gump mode, and felt like running – up the mountain which put me ahead of the pack. I spied a little trail down to the left, and a circle up ahead, and I was on hash fire – hitting everything. I called, behind, but not sure if anyone could hear even now.
Hopped over a little wall, and followed paper down a road that seemed to loop in a circle. A gate to the left and a familiar car parked through it with Hollow Legs emerging with Nutcracker… Hmmm… I could see the paper leading off in a circle ahead, but there were surely Skiddy Sticks over there, so I clambered over the gate and was back on the trail as we again headed up the hill. No sounds behind, just running, and nailing a few more checks. I tried calling and with hindsight, I screwed the trail to some extent with the pack cutting across a valley following my calls someway ahead.
A loop up and down, and finally the hares thwarted my perfect hash – Damn those Skiddy Sticks!!! Still I replaced them appropriately, and continued on with no sounds from behind beyond the echoes of my On-On calls. My luck had changed though and at the next check I wasted time checking up a nice looking trail to the left… Back down and I found the trail straight on, with the first sounds from behind as Alice closed me down.
Another check, and could I out think those hares? Damnit!!! Alice slipped past me as I came running back into the mix. Having been lonely all run, I tried to chase him down to have someone to chat to, but he accelerated and left me behind – across the rice fields and to the On-In…. An On-In which hadn’t yet been placed, so Alice did an extra couple of clicks on the out trail – justice was served – my beer was cold as Sups had got there on time to help us chill the beer!
As time passes, there is a tendency to forget past haring mistakes, but as I traveled to the run site my mind was awash with fear. I encouraged fellow hashers to come along, lets hope they would and I was encouraged that Big Top had stepped up as co-hare – surely she could control him?
Turkish made his latest erection, and gradually the parking area filled with hashers – each discussing bad experiences they’d had on TD’s runs in the past – and each talking about different runs. Big Top was delegated to give the hare brief – where she explained about the Wimp / Rambo split, and without saying it directly, she encouraged us to take the Wimp option – turns out she meant to say “Don’t do the Rambo, it’s shit!”.
Nonetheless, we set off charging through fields (without permission), towards the base of the inevitable ascent. I screwed up the first circle and rejoined the FRBs at the 2nd circle, and started checking up the hill – sure enough a bit over 100m, I spotted some paper, and gave the customary “On! On!” – just at the same time the rest of the pack were directed by Turkish in the opposite direction – the hare himself being an FRB on his own run. What to do? I was joined by Alice, Frozen Dick and Unplugged for a discussion on the side of a rocky mountain. We divided with Unplugged and I scrambling up the trail in reverse. It wasn’t much fun – rocks, trees, wasps, boulders, stones, bees, spiders, shiggy, certainly no opportunity to run.
Eventually we ran into Chuck Wao and HRA, who suggested the other half of the rambo trail was probably even worse, and persuaded us to turn back and face the rocks, spiders, bees etc. again. Finally we emerged into a field and the last 500m or so was great. The beers started flowing. The wimps returned lauding what a nice run they’d had, while none of the FRBs had anything pleasant to say. The circle started, and finally Dog Shit returned, and then later Frozen Dick.
At least the food was good! 😀
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Alice, Big Top, Chuck Wao, CSH3, Dog Shit, Frozen Dick, HRA, Turkish Delight, Unplugged