This time None of Your Business was the virgin co-hare – he had volunteered even – demanding to his co-hare father Byte My Yahoo that no matter the runsite, there must be two beer stops! Wow! And he’s only 14!!! I see many hangovers in your future young man… be careful.
The weather was appearing increasingly ominous with Mr. Poo posting news on Facebook during the week about the possibility of rain. With all the nasty pollution in the air, I thought a nice rain run would be great, so I made the long journey out to one of Yahoo’s favourite run sites near the Wang Tarn Resort. Unfortunately for the hares, this was the first week back to the 5pm run time – had we started the run a half hour sooner, we might of made most of the run!
The rain started, just as we did and within minutes the late afternoon sky was dark and torrential, but we kept going following the trail along the canal. It cut up and across some fields when the wind really started to whip up making it difficult to keep our eyes on where we were stepping. The trail cut back down to the canal where Byte My Yahoo and None of Your Business were driving along watching us figure out their run. I caught up to Anything, Bar Bin Doll, Lily and the other girls crossing over the canal when I heard BmY yelling, “Big Top, don’t —– —–!” – huh? Don’t fall down? Ummm… yeah, great, thanks… I’ll try. Or was it don’t go down under the canal where the arrow is pointing? Admittedly, I was curious to where it might lead and perhaps it would have made good cover for the nasty hurricane like storm that was about to hit, but apparently HRA had already gone checking there and had found a dead end. Or perhaps it was “Don’t cross over the canal,” because just a few hundred meters after we crossed, the FRB’s were calling to cross over AGAIN.
We had to choose to go back or keeping running further along to get to the next bridge. I chose to run further and eventually caught up to HRA, Chuck Wao and Cumalot and at a circle check. Anything, Throbbing Ninja and Bar Bin Doll made the executive decision to head back to the A as did several others, but I heard one of the boys call “On” heading into the jungle and decided to stick with Cumalot and give it a go. But the slanted rain was making it impossible to see and I could no longer hear the calls from Chuck Wao and HRA… f!@# what to do? I really hate giving up! Realizing that losing a contact lens would make it impossible for me to drive home, I decided to give in and head back to the A.
One by one, hashers made their way back to the A along the canal. Absolutely no one could finish the trail. Aside from the fact that parts of it had been set in powder, paper had disappeared as well. We all took shelter in various cars and half bult houses, with us getting particularly chummy and warm in the songtao where Joint Venture made boys’ fantasies cum true. Eventually, the sky cleared up and NoYB started the circle. Several hashers had already fled, but we had a good (but cold) laugh anyhow. Ummm… nice effort I guess… hopefully next time it won’t rain!!!
On-On Big Top
Kids were super excited about swimming today, so we were early out to I got Gas’s pool, ready for the big hash / barbecue / pool party! I had high hopes, until I Got Gas confessed to Frozen Dick’s influence into the run, but anyway we’ll give it a go. Setting off over a concrete bridge, we were soon back on the road, and as is my custom, I set the early pace… Frozen Dick clearly wanted to screw me early with a long set of Skiddy Sticks… But sadly when we got there, the sticks were gone, and we spent a while ‘looking’ until Skiddy played CSI and discovered evidence of there formerly being sticks…
Wooly Jumper was for a short while the FRB, as the trail headed off towards the Tiger camp area. I jogged along with Chuckie, only to get badly screwed at the next check, and spend a long time chasing the pack to get back together. Up the hill – fortunately not too bad – and we ran into confusion at a check with some old paper hanging. Fortunately Turkey and I found the real paper and we headed off back down the hill.
The next set of skiddy sticks didn’t confuse me as I spotted the paper off trail to the left and then we were on familiar ground – through an old A site, a dip into the jungle until I found Doggie short cutting his was in from the road. Stan on his return ran smartly in along with Can’t Stop Cumming – who is always keen to overtake after the On-In.
The pool was an obvious draw after the run, and it took some effort to get the circle started. The highlight of the circle had to be Mr. Poo drinking from another man’s ‘not’ new shoes… Apart from that, I propose we follow the mantra “short circle is a good circle”, and change the circle format to -> 1) Open Circle 2) Splash Hares 3) Wings 4) Close Circle. Who’s with me??
My favourite part of hashing is the run, then only Chuck Wow grumbles into my ear… (Ok, so does Humperdick… and Graven…), but at least it’s limited to those who I can’t run away from!
A Belly Dancer run, during rainy season, from Doi Kham area… The memories came flooding back on route to the run! Nonetheless, it was one of the larger recent turnouts for the Happy Hash – perhaps Anything’s marketing, or perhaps there are just a bunch of people willing to subject themselves to challenging misery?! Dogshit thought better of it, and swiftly turned back when he saw the A site – Cool Ball’s restaurant.
We set off on the tarmac in the general direction of the hills – the were quite far off though, so surely we wouldn’t be going up there? A couple of checks in and I was going well. We hit the trail along the bottom of the mountain with an abrupt left – no check? Interesting – either we were going left (around night safari), or right (around ratchapruek), or doing a bit of a hill climb and back parallel to the out trail – my guess was the 3rd option, so why the hell did I screw up the V check? Fuck! Idiot!
As we turned off the trail into the hills, Chuckie got first choice and took the advantage. At 3.5 km the trail headed deeper into the mountains, and I bailed, heading for home… I intercepted the trail after avoiding the mountain, and jogged in comfortably. When Chuckie came in – he suggested the hill wasn’t as unpleasant as it initially appeared, but I guess Belly’s reputation had got ahead of him?
Back to Cool Balls for the circle in the garden. Highlight for me? Bloody Mary getting the circle! One of the best ad hoc splashes in history – and I think Skiddy enjoyed it too! 😉
We set off towards the football field along the canal road, only to drive past it and weave our way along bumpy roads to a novel run site – so novel that HRA was desperate to plot the co-ordinates so he could return and steal the route again, while many of the female driving hashers were already worried about a dark exit… The perfectionist hare was already busy assisting Turkish with his erection.
Right on cue Sups arrived so we could unload and set off in good time. I careered off, sprinting down the hill, only to get the first check completely wrong and have to pick my way through hashers as we doubled back straight up the hill to where the hare was waiting. Bastard.
We jogged along, and then scrambled through some shiggy and finally intercepted some familiar trails. The pace was ok, with Chuckie, HRA, myself, Unplugged, Horny Monkey and occasionally Turkish taking turns at the front. We climbed up a gentle trail, before plunging down a road – time to open up the legs, only to find a sharp corner at the bottom as the sadistic hare turned and took us back up the hill again. Argh – Chuckie, loving the hills, hit the front and nobody could keep pace with him. We arced back down and surely this would be it? No – there was more pain to come with another climb to get over to the next valley – from the top of this final ascent Turkey’s Erection had the ladies gasping and all charged towards it. As I finally dropped to a walk on the road at the On-In, I was suddenly passed by a pack including Roger D and Big Top! WTF? Where did they come from? Clearly they came straight along the road missing the final climbs. Short Cutting and Sprint Finishing – excellent hash behaviour.
Posted in Blog, CSH3 - Saturday, CSH3 - Write Ups
Tagged Big Top, Chuckie, CSH3, Horny Monkey, HRA, Humperdick, Superman, Turkish Delight, Unplugged
Apologies readers for the tardiness of my write up – it has been suggested that I am too ashamed to confess my endeavours on the run, but that isn’t the reason for delay! Anyway, my status as the World’s most Intelligent hasher, was ripped from my shoulders by Dogshit and Frozen Dick, while Square Rooter listed it as the stupidest short cut in hash history – while he pulled up a ringside seat!
Lets begin at the start – being joined in the car for the ride by Itchy Bitchy and Fish and Tits… After picking them up, I was treated to a constant barrage of conversation. As Fish & Tits only showers once a month they then started exchanging deodrants and I was quickly overcome by noxious fumes. I stopped for gas, and as soon as I paused the two ladies dived out and charged to the store to buy snacks, Mama, ice-cream and more. The runsite was probably closer to Chiang Rai than Chiang Mai, so it was a relief to finally arrive and give my ears a break! 😉 A really nice runsite, but a bit far out of town…
The out-trail was a gentle down hill trail, where I could really open up and stretch my legs. In no time I was off the front, only to turn a corner and run straight past some skiddy sticks. Heading back, through confused hashers, I found the true trail some way back down the path. HRA had meanwhile charged off in the wrong direction laughing to himself about my folly. The next circle was straight on, so me and Chuckie cruised away from the pack, until we were hit by another set of blasted Skiddy Sticks – “MOTHER FUCKER!”. Still my luck was holding and it was me that found the true trail there and for the next couple of circles… Until we got to the lake.
The trail had been great, we were gently arcing around to the left and we hit a lake with the trail running alongside it. I’d stopped thinking about potential false trails, as CW was gossiping away in my ear about the state of the economy, his latest exploits, or some such story. A circle check on the side of the lake, and it was my ‘duty’ to check straight on. Which I did, making my way around the bank of the lake – scrambling down a bank and climbing around marshes – only for the trail to be called behind me, back across the other side of the lake. DAMN you blasted hares. At this point, should I go back, or I could go on around the lake? As the trail was ‘SURE’ to continue arcing left, I decided to go on around the lake and gradually found myself getting into marshier terrain until eventually it was impassable without swimming. DS & SR shouted abuse at me, and I eventually had to turn back and sheepishly make my way back to the A site.
Lovely trail – you assholes!
Posted in Blog, CH4 - Sunday, CH4 - Write Ups
Tagged Alice, CH4, Chuckie, Dog Shit, Fish and Tits, Frozen Dick, HRA, Itchy Bitchy, Square Rooter