Tag Archives: Fish and Tits

14th October – CH4 – Byte My Yahoo

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 7.0/10 (3 votes cast)

A BmY live hared always gets the blood pumping a bit faster and after reading Frozen Dick’s Facebook post about how a trail is a ‘work of art’ – I fully expected BmY to apply his vast intelligence into setting something pretty special.

However …. Evil Big Top conspired with Chuck Wao and Mr Poo to thwart his endeavours the night before by plying him with beer. Grease Gorilla too had been enlisted to further fill him with sambuca …. Fortunately I decided that a peaceful night before Anything came back from Phuket was a more sensible option than heading into town (no one saw me did they? 5555).

I got a bleary phone call at 12:35 Sunday lunchtime from BmY asking be to bring along a powder bottle – rats had devoured his bottles – and I asked if his co-hare was ready? There was earlier promise of Fish and Tits co-haring with BmY, but he forlornly said since she learnt of her role in the run – she had gone A.W.O.L.

So I headed off (yet again) to Doi Suckit and BmY’s favourite running territory and there was a nervous panic stricken BmY waiting – hummm – whats to become of this? BmY then proceeded to tell me about the dump trucks carrying away his run!! This did not look promising at all – I was even more perturbed when he told me where he had hidden the beer – did he seriously think I would get there first to find it!?

A good crowd of 28 turned up and a shaking BmY got on with the hare brief (well … a rather long brief) and after Skid Mark had been selected for precision time keeping – BmY was given a 5 minute head start.

Grease Gorilla had brought KY and was eager to run BmY down – Chuck Wao and Mr Poo looked like they’d just fallen out of bed. Humperdick along with Cant Stop Cumming, Cock Climber and her sexy sister (Clit Climber?) led the early charge.

On Out and as usual I got to the first check and proceeded to get it wrong … just … as Cant Stop Cumming just found the paper ahead of me … BmY had won the day at this check as all the FRB’s were totally off course and must have taken 2 or 3 minutes for them to regain the lead.

Through some modest shaggy and then round BmY’s scenic lakes – this was some great hashing – the checks kept the pack nicely together with me alternating between which was the better view – the trail, Knockout or Seman Soars daughter Lauren (Pussy Sores?).

On the look out for the BN (beer near) marking and BmY’s cryptic description of where to find it – after 2.3km there was the FRB huddle were supping into it. It turns out that 6 can’s was enough for everybody – more smart thinking BmY! I (stupidly) thought that this was half way and would help BmY out by bringing his mini-eske back – humm – not a smart move on my part!!

A little before we got to the main canal – a V-check totally screwed the FRB’s – it had been kicked out wrong as I arrived, perhaps it was Cant Stop Cumming who went the right way and called on – but by now BmY was no doubt back at the ‘B’(?) supping his 2nd beer.

At the canal the obligatory check left the temptation to head back down the road a tempting option – surely BmY would not have much more left in him? Wrong – the run became a bit more challenging – with a circle check hidden by a stream crossing catching us all out and bringing the pack together – Skid Mark or Dog Shit I think found the innocuous little trail off this.

Through some shiggy and then some road (hummm) … then into a buffalo field that forced us to slow down and finally the pack was dispersing. Glancing at the GPS as we finally reached the canal again – 6.66km!!

BmY claimed an 11 minute gap on FRB Chuck Wao – well done Sir – a great RUN despite the attempts to thwart you!!

An exhausted BmY handed the circle over to RA Mr Poo – who did a fine job entertaining the circle. (Lovely) Dog Shit’s new girlfriend (Nam Tarn) was awarded the female wings and Humperdick unjustly got the male wings for admiring Knockout’s butt!!

OnOnOn to the restaurant opposite the Airport in anticipation of picking up the Bunnies returning from Phuket. More inspired planning from BmY – Thanks for a fun day – (and I want my bottle back before your rats eat it!).

OnOn
BD

Scout:-
Set:-

5th August – CH4 – Alice (with Frozen Dick)

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 10.0/10 (2 votes cast)

Apologies readers for the tardiness of my write up – it has been suggested that I am too ashamed to confess my endeavours on the run, but that isn’t the reason for delay! Anyway, my status as the World’s most Intelligent hasher, was ripped from my shoulders by Dogshit and Frozen Dick, while Square Rooter listed it as the stupidest short cut in hash history – while he pulled up a ringside seat!

Lets begin at the start – being joined in the car for the ride by Itchy Bitchy and Fish and Tits… After picking them up, I was treated to a constant barrage of conversation. As Fish & Tits only showers once a month they then started exchanging deodrants and I was quickly overcome by noxious fumes. I stopped for gas, and as soon as I paused the two ladies dived out and charged to the store to buy snacks, Mama, ice-cream and more. The runsite was probably closer to Chiang Rai than Chiang Mai, so it was a relief to finally arrive and give my ears a break! 😉 A really nice runsite, but a bit far out of town…

The out-trail was a gentle down hill trail, where I could really open up and stretch my legs. In no time I was off the front, only to turn a corner and run straight past some skiddy sticks. Heading back, through confused hashers, I found the true trail some way back down the path. HRA had meanwhile charged off in the wrong direction laughing to himself about my folly. The next circle was straight on, so me and Chuckie cruised away from the pack, until we were hit by another set of blasted Skiddy Sticks – “MOTHER FUCKER!”. Still my luck was holding and it was me that found the true trail there and for the next couple of circles… Until we got to the lake.

The trail had been great, we were gently arcing around to the left and we hit a lake with the trail running alongside it. I’d stopped thinking about potential false trails, as CW was gossiping away in my ear about the state of the economy, his latest exploits, or some such story. A circle check on the side of the lake, and it was my ‘duty’ to check straight on. Which I did, making my way around the bank of the lake – scrambling down a bank and climbing around marshes – only for the trail to be called behind me, back across the other side of the lake. DAMN you blasted hares. At this point, should I go back, or I could go on around the lake? As the trail was ‘SURE’ to continue arcing left, I decided to go on around the lake and gradually found myself getting into marshier terrain until eventually it was impassable without swimming. DS & SR shouted abuse at me, and I eventually had to turn back and sheepishly make my way back to the A site.

Lovely trail – you assholes!

7th August – CH4 – His Royal Anus

VN:F [1.9.11_1134]
Were you there? - Rate the Run!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)

HRA chose a run site he’d only run at before – but I guess he must have missed out on many of Kwazi’s runs that used the same area until we got shot at on the 4th July! Nonetheless we set off on familiar trails with Belly Dancer and I jogging off to the first check – tough luck BD, I was right and didn’t see BD again till the end.

Given the rain the up trail was slippery and kept most of us on our toes with Chuck Wao again slipping away and running through a couple of checks.  I finally caught him up when he was confused by two circle checks that were close together – I guess we missed a bit of the trail, but the rain was falling and we were still on trail.

CW, a guy called FootLong and I escaped from the pack and were doing well till we hit a circle as we rejoined a main trail. Foot Long took the obvious downhill trail to the left, CW was forced to head uphill to the right so I took a less obvious trail that kinda went straight. None of us found trail and we spent too much time hacking around before we realised Foot Long had screwed up and finally found the trail clearly marked going down the hill.

Chuck Wao and Foot Long were off, and I chased as best I could along the slippery down hill trail. It was a good run, and without the weather it could have been a great run! A run so great that Kwazi has set is for us several times already – give or take a corner or so. Mr. Poo was back for the circle and slowly warmed up. It was great to see a few extras show up – Beautiful Box brought a crew and Fish and Tits appeared to wait the run out in the car! Good Work HRA.