We all got word of Itchy Bitchy’s poor dead dog just before the CSH3 run on Saturday. CH4 committee members Mr. Poo and Byte My Yahoo pondered worrisomely throughout the night trying to decide the best course of action. Yahoo decided that he was up for the challenge of setting a non-scouted run in an area that he always gets lost in. When I pulled up to the A site, I was happy to see that he had returned alive and in post-shower bliss though slightly disappointed that he HAD remembered to bring his towel (unlike yesterday). That wasn’t the first bent over bum I’d be seeing that day, but it was perhaps the finest. 😉
With the Lanna Bush Fang and Bunny Pai outstations taking place over the weekend, we weren’t really sure who would be running. Fortunately, Anything, Unplugged and Frozen Dick had all made it back. We could all see where the paper trail began early on, and so Frozen Dick set off immediately without waiting to listen to the full hare brief – racing bastard! The first circle check was slightly confusing as no one was really sure who was supposed to do the checking. BmY had set the run, Chuck Wao had such a terrible hangover that he couldn’t even make it to the run and Mr. Poo was looking rather slow and haggard – possibly due to the unusual adventure of him staying at the Hash Pub past midnight. No, he didn’t turn into a pumpkin, just a tired old man more like his own age.
Having not scouted the run beforehand, it was clear that BmY was getting us as lost at his checks as he was when he was setting it. Hashers dispersed in all directions led mostly by FRB bunnies Anything, Beautiful Box, Crazy Crack, Can’t Stop Cumming and Cock Climber. Finally, we found the ‘On’ some couple hundred of meters away with Grumbledick pondering BmY’s ‘mistake’. Having done a similar scouting / setting at the same time run last week, I knew there were more of these kinds of checks to cum.
There were quite a few, in fact, in which some hashers waited for nearly 5 minutes (mostly bent over picking grass needles out of their shoes) at the check due to numerous hidden trails and everyone unsure of who was up ahead checking already. At one particular circle check Beautiful Box, followed by a deeply entranced Human Excrement, passed straight through a blatant False Trail AND Checkback bar – maybe they wanted to spend some time in the woods alone together? Luckily, I saw it and we all headed back to a call from Anything who then passed right through a V-check. Though I was fairly certain that she had gone the correct way, I checked to my right anyhow, closely followed by Mr. Poo, down what was of course the wrong trail – darn it – and then was off to try and catch up to Anything once again.
At another circle check, hashers trampled deep into the bush failing to think about the 360 degrees scenario. Though I’m not sure who found the ‘On’, it was Frozen Dick that bellowed out to bring back together hashers checking every which way but the right one. A very narrow barbed wire fence slowed everyone down except for Crazy Crack who leaped through with perfect precision. Frozen Dick had to be dragged underneath by about half a dozen hashers and was slightly peeved to discover from the hare later that there had been a more accessible gateway about 20 meters or so away. EVIL hare!
Frozen Dick’s GPS came in handy when he gave it a look at the last check before the main road. “That way!” he stated with certainty giving both of us the FRB advantage. But, someone was already in front of us and had kicked out the circle checks heading straight back to the A. I could see Mr. Poo and Crazy Crack up ahead jogging around each other in circles in what I presumed was a False Trail and so was happy to spot them just as I was passing a nice trail heading left. Humperdick was cutting across to meet me though failed to inform anyone of the False Trail making him a newly inducted member of the CUNT family.
As we headed up a slight incline to the On-In, I could hear Cock Climber and Can’t Stop Cumming behind me complaining of how slow they had been running all day. Perhaps a little too much Spider Peeing for both of them? We’re all still trying to figure out what that is exactly – definitely a splash to remember for next week! It was a fun run followed by a fun circle though slightly delayed due to the antics of Ravenous, Codpiece and Tip Toe! Some of us DID wonder how they would make it through that barbed wire – a moot point as they somehow ended up at the Canal Road!!! After the circle, we headed to the OnOnOn to celebrate Bar Bin Doll’s birthday!!!
Posted in Blog, CH4 - Sunday, CH4 - Write Ups
Tagged Anything, Barbin Doll, Beautiful Box, Byte My Yahoo, Can't Stop Cumming, CH4, Chuck Wao, Cock Climber, Codpiece, Crazy Crack, Frozen Dick, Humperdick, Itchy Bitchy, Mr Poo, Ravenous, Tip Toe, Unplugged
A 6 hour drive at break neck speed got me back in time for the run – almost… I picked the boys up and got back around 15 minutes late… Never mind, I might catch up. My legs were painful though, so it was a struggle to get moving up and over the first little hill.
The trail was a little confusing, as I later found Dog Shit out there relaying part of it – he ran off to show me the correct route, and I set off in pursuit of distant calls. After a while I came to Tip Toe, who had returned from foreign parts.
The trickiest part of the pursuit was that the checks were squares of paper, that couldn’t be kicked out, and so I had to guess a bit on each of the checks. But soon enough I spied Plan, Square Rooter and Human Excrement. As we headed quickly back towards the cars, the rest were ahead somewhere, with Chuckie and Humps doing better on both the trail and the journey back – hats off to the outstationers who got back in time to support Doggie.
Sorry – no trail map today – I left the GPS on half way back across town.
Happy Hash Time, and for the 2nd time in 24 hours I was on my way to the Boy Scout Camp. Reluctantly. Not my favourite runsite, and I had recollections of Mr. Poo’s penchant for hills – at new year he made Square Rooter appear tame. What would we have in store? As I drove up the hill I spotted a couple of pink postits on a tree – hmmm… they generally appear out of place… After a gap of 100m (ish) there were some more… Interesting inside knowledge that only came into play briefly as it was right at the start of the run. Sure enough around the corner we started climbing, and that was the first time Chuck Wao went the wrong way.
Having got the first couple of checks right, I continued spotting Poo’s plan, and as we intercepted part of yesterday’s trail there was another check. Yesterday I futilely climbed the hill, today there was a beautiful glint of pink waiting for me on a bush – OnOn! The trail carried on up, and somewhere behind I could hear Chuck Wao’s progress as he slowly reeled me in. We were back to the weir – I remembered that from yesterday, but let CW carry on up the hill – sucker!
Down the other side of the waterfall and there was Itchy ready to scramble through the torrent to short cut. I jogged leisurely along yesterday’s route, and when I hit another circle, the option had to be the trail to the right we’d just passed, which Chuck Wao eagerly scampered along. As he called the next circle we could see the paper of the following circle just ahead – it’s one thing to be able to see paper from a check, but to be able to see the next check? WTF?
Perhaps CW was on a high from the day before, as he threw himself off the mountain down a steep path to check. He might have been right, it was the way yesterday, but I would fancy climbing back if it was wrong… – It was wrong, and I chuckled “Wow” as I got yet another check right, and yet another as we descended past the helipad. I was on fire – I picked every check, including the ones that took us backwards.
Interesting we could have 2 runs in the same place in 2 days. I liked todays.
Familiar area at the Ag Centre and the hare had promised me a run around the bottom, so hopefully no hills. Hare brief done, we set off and I promptly checked 180 degrees wrong at the first check. Bend Over had brought the kids and they were already looking for opportunities to short cut. I tracked back through the throng after Chuckie and Skiddy and it was Chuckie that was dropped off at the 2nd check. Skiddy got caught at the 3rd where they’d dug up a previous trail and I led the way as we looped around towards the fields.
I was accused of short cutting, when a more accurate description would be enthusiastic checking. At the Ag. Center there are only so many ways to go, and so check hard enough in the right general direction and you’ll find paper. Sure enough I did. Although at one point it was quite a bit further along before I could loop around and rejoin the trail.
Chuckie was unstoppable as my legs grew weary and we finished a pleasant 6+km run by crossing the dam wall back to the A.
A Belly Dancer run, during rainy season, from Doi Kham area… The memories came flooding back on route to the run! Nonetheless, it was one of the larger recent turnouts for the Happy Hash – perhaps Anything’s marketing, or perhaps there are just a bunch of people willing to subject themselves to challenging misery?! Dogshit thought better of it, and swiftly turned back when he saw the A site – Cool Ball’s restaurant.
We set off on the tarmac in the general direction of the hills – the were quite far off though, so surely we wouldn’t be going up there? A couple of checks in and I was going well. We hit the trail along the bottom of the mountain with an abrupt left – no check? Interesting – either we were going left (around night safari), or right (around ratchapruek), or doing a bit of a hill climb and back parallel to the out trail – my guess was the 3rd option, so why the hell did I screw up the V check? Fuck! Idiot!
As we turned off the trail into the hills, Chuckie got first choice and took the advantage. At 3.5 km the trail headed deeper into the mountains, and I bailed, heading for home… I intercepted the trail after avoiding the mountain, and jogged in comfortably. When Chuckie came in – he suggested the hill wasn’t as unpleasant as it initially appeared, but I guess Belly’s reputation had got ahead of him?
Back to Cool Balls for the circle in the garden. Highlight for me? Bloody Mary getting the circle! One of the best ad hoc splashes in history – and I think Skiddy enjoyed it too! 😉
Apologies readers for the tardiness of my write up – it has been suggested that I am too ashamed to confess my endeavours on the run, but that isn’t the reason for delay! Anyway, my status as the World’s most Intelligent hasher, was ripped from my shoulders by Dogshit and Frozen Dick, while Square Rooter listed it as the stupidest short cut in hash history – while he pulled up a ringside seat!
Lets begin at the start – being joined in the car for the ride by Itchy Bitchy and Fish and Tits… After picking them up, I was treated to a constant barrage of conversation. As Fish & Tits only showers once a month they then started exchanging deodrants and I was quickly overcome by noxious fumes. I stopped for gas, and as soon as I paused the two ladies dived out and charged to the store to buy snacks, Mama, ice-cream and more. The runsite was probably closer to Chiang Rai than Chiang Mai, so it was a relief to finally arrive and give my ears a break! 😉 A really nice runsite, but a bit far out of town…
The out-trail was a gentle down hill trail, where I could really open up and stretch my legs. In no time I was off the front, only to turn a corner and run straight past some skiddy sticks. Heading back, through confused hashers, I found the true trail some way back down the path. HRA had meanwhile charged off in the wrong direction laughing to himself about my folly. The next circle was straight on, so me and Chuckie cruised away from the pack, until we were hit by another set of blasted Skiddy Sticks – “MOTHER FUCKER!”. Still my luck was holding and it was me that found the true trail there and for the next couple of circles… Until we got to the lake.
The trail had been great, we were gently arcing around to the left and we hit a lake with the trail running alongside it. I’d stopped thinking about potential false trails, as CW was gossiping away in my ear about the state of the economy, his latest exploits, or some such story. A circle check on the side of the lake, and it was my ‘duty’ to check straight on. Which I did, making my way around the bank of the lake – scrambling down a bank and climbing around marshes – only for the trail to be called behind me, back across the other side of the lake. DAMN you blasted hares. At this point, should I go back, or I could go on around the lake? As the trail was ‘SURE’ to continue arcing left, I decided to go on around the lake and gradually found myself getting into marshier terrain until eventually it was impassable without swimming. DS & SR shouted abuse at me, and I eventually had to turn back and sheepishly make my way back to the A site.
Lovely trail – you assholes!
Posted in Blog, CH4 - Sunday, CH4 - Write Ups
Tagged Alice, CH4, Chuckie, Dog Shit, Fish and Tits, Frozen Dick, HRA, Itchy Bitchy, Square Rooter
Every now and then Horny Monkey’s name crops up on the hareline, and he comes along to set the run, and flirt with the Sunday ladies. Today it was from the government centre and we ran around in circles between the various buildings that make up the complex.
Things began with a parade of cars driving around in circles, waiting for the hare to arrive with some signs and in the end we had verbal directions into the runsite. We were pointed off, in roughly the right direction, and jogged off. At every check Beautiful Box shouted “Yay” and her exuberance rubbed off on me at least, but it seemed like a happy bunch of hashers jogging around in circles.
At one point it was abundantly obvious we were running around a football field (it could go nowhere else), and as I was still recovering from a badly wrong check, I followed Skiddy to the inevitable paper. Later, I lost some ground bringing the skiddy sticks back – perhaps Chuckie does the right thing??? Anyway, I spied the hare on his bike, and took a speedy shortcut back to the front. The run ended in shambles with the trail disappearing around a lake, and the hare was just sat there to say – just run back in. On-In!
The circle was the typical Horny Monkeyness – punishments abounded with HM back in his element. OnOn!
It was decided that the CH4 would run with the bunnies today… With a couple missing in Phuket and the election causing problems for the On-On, the hares conspired to save energies and combine the two hashes – an interesting decision, which certainly brought more runners to both runs. The Bunnies were very welcoming and things transpired fairly smoothly.
The hare brief was particularly brief with Bone Collector simply pointing towards the gates of Chez Swallow and saying “That Way”. Even that seemed fairly redundant as there was only one way out of the property. And so it is, we were off. S&M Girl was on fire – she couldn’t get a check wrong and was holding the bunnies end up on her own! A recovering Mr. Poo joined Skid Mark, Bone Hur, Green Pussy and Byte My Yahoo in the mix as the trail zig zagged confusingly and just went on and on through rice fields, orchards – all the while being wet and slippery underfoot.
It seems HRA hasn’t learnt anything. Yesterday he got grief for an extended run with me that led the normally mild mannered Miss Piggy to exhaustion. Today he promised a 5km run – but the GPS doesn’t lie and the shortest result was around 7km. No wonder it took us an hour to finish – with Bone Hur breathing down my neck along a very long road finish.
Interestingly nobody saw Chuck Wao all run! Rumours were spreading about him taking extended loops to avoid the water, or perhaps he’d had a problem? Nope – he conspired with Jungle Chim and Frozen Dick to fulfil ‘when in Bunny Land, do a Bunny’. While none of the Bunnies were willing, the 3 musketeers walked around, chatted about the weather, and even stopped to buy beer at one of the supposedly closed corner shops. Sadly, they forgot to shortcut – the ultimate sign of a Bunny! 😉
No offence intended to the bunnies, they were very welcoming and even let Mr. Poo have his ego boost with some of the circle. I wonder how the men would react if someone suggested combining a run with the bunnies? Perhaps we should learn from the bunnies and be open to changing traditions? But then again, perhaps there are good reasons different groups run separately – back to CH4 next week!