Tag Archives: Frozen Dick

14th April – CH3 – Mr. Poo

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We were all somewhat hungover from the Songkran run… Mr. Poo the hare was so hungover that he’d forgotten to bring enough powder, felt too crappy to set the trail, and opted to do a live hare – only to find that he was a bit too hungover and might not make it on his own. He picked Chuckie for a co-hare and so we had 2 live hares – neither looking in good shape.

They set off and we watched them duck in to the right, 5 minutes and we set off in pursuit. The first check was easy – we’d seen where they had gone. we were gaining. I nailed a few checks and things were going well – particularly when the monks told me where the strange farangs had gone. Having run here before I had a hunch where they were headed, and sure enough I got to the crucial intersection. Up the hill? Or along the bottom?

Damn, I guessed, and guessed wrong. Graven had already checked that way too – as he’d ignored the early part of the trail and just headed straight to the ‘crucial’ point. It was up the hill, but how high up? Most of us got it wrong due to some ambiguous calling from up ahead and found ourselves above the trail over a steep cliff. I opted to parallel for a bit longer, only to find that I wasn’t paralleling, I was getting further away – they were going clockwise after all… Must be a figure of 8. Back down to the ‘crucial’ point, and sure enough where there once was circles, now there were arrows. Tip Toe ahead of me?? and Frozen?? I guess the hares had changed the trail in between the FRBs and the DFLs! Somewhere ahead Brown Finger and Graven were calling, and at the final circle I joined them.

A cheeky loop back behind a ruined temple brought us back to the A – I recall the same hare using the same loop previously, so I managed to run into the circle site while the hares were still sweating. Short, but sweet – I don’t think anyone needed to do much more this time!

1st September – CH4 – Square Rooter

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Square Rooter, Square Rooter, Square Rooter… Why, oh why, oh why???

He was looking even more smug and proud than usual when I got to the runsite at Doi Suthep – what had the wily bastard put together for us this time? One thing could be sure – it wouldn’t be flat… The hare brief promised us around 4km, that would take over an hour – shit, shit, shit… Why had I come?

We set off into the water fall, and even though the trail took us along the concrete path, the rain and moss made that a slippery, dangerous adventure. I found myself the wrong side of the waterfall at one point, but decided it was probably the better side to be as we would inevitably rejoin at the road. And at the road the trail continued on scrambling on a muddy, slippy, path barely gripping to the side of the mountain. When he’d had enough of that, it was time to climb. Up, up, up one of the main trails.

With Suckit and 2 Dutch boys up front, I settled into a comfortable climbing pace, and eventually got to a V check where both were calling check back and heading back… A quick gamble and I decided that Suckit was probably correct and the visitors probably didn’t have a clue what they were talking about, so I went to the right and sure enough the trail scrambled through shit to cross over to the other main artery. Square Rooter must have enjoyed manufacturing that ‘connect’… With hardly any trees to hang onto, and just wet leaves to slide along, it wasn’t much fun, but I managed to get across and hit the inevitable circle check on the other trail. I suggested one of the young Dutchmen ran up the hill, and like a eager rabbit he did just that. I chose the trail down, with little intention of coming back if I was wrong – sure enough there were soon calls off to the left.

I figured it was the little loop SR had used a couple of weeks back, and they would rejoin us at the clearing, but the calls got fainter as the trail must have descended sharply towards the Boy Scout Camp. From there, what goes down must come back up, and I quickly got back to paper – with a kicked out circle from the wimp trail. There ahead was Frozen Dick with the hare – FD can either talk or walk, but not at the same time, so I quickly caught up with SR keen to show me where the rambos would rejoin the trail. As he described what he was putting them through, I wasn’t sure if he was trying to encourage me to go back and do it all, or congratulate me on my short cut – either way I wasn’t remotely tempted to climb back up the hill, only to go back down one side, to climb back to where I already was – the better option seemed the 600m or so down to the cars.

25th August – CSH3 – I Got Gas

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The I Got Gas Hash is slowly working it’s way onto the hash calendar – last year it was a great event, and today it was also a superb hash. It helps having a great venue on the edge of some great hashing country, and the pool and barbecue will make even the grumpiest hasher smile!

After suggesting in the week there was only one way out of his house, IGG sent us through the back gate scrambling around the river to a rice field for the On-Out. Being a smart-ass I was sure which way he would send us – towards the hills and the great trails of the King’s Project! First circle check I picked left and got on to the canal trail. When they called On-On to the right, I ‘knew’ it was a matter of time before they crossed the canal, and opted to parallel for a while till we met up… The On-On calls faded, and it turned out there weren’t so many options for getting to the canal. I was alone and off trail, finally making the decision to cut my losses and head back to the first circle…

It happens sometimes that I end up behind Frozen Dick after a bad check, but this time it took me a good km or so to chase down Sunspot and Miss Piggy! Superman offered me a short cut through a canal, and slowly I moved up the pack – it was fun, and the hares had been smart enough with the checks (early on) to let me get back into the action. It was clear we were heading to the right (particularly with my earlier detour to give me inside information), and that was where the hares hit their genius – they knew we wanted to go right, and they teased us with multiple checks that hinted we might go right, only to head straight or off to the left. Where was the trail??

I got lucky. The check that I finally got to the front on had a newbie heading up a hill and me taking the ‘less obvious’, but ultimately more likely, trail through the high grass, off to the right. I was On! We were so far out by now that it had to be straight on back from here, and sure enough, while the trail took in a bit of a climb around the side of a mountain, it was great running and heading straight in the right direction. When there was a check, we met Superman, Just Cumming and Soapy short cutting their way to the trail. It was a great trail, and a front runner’s delight! Even when I did parallel run my way back to the trail in the closing stages (see attached GPS), it was all fun running country.

The summary? We had some tough / interesting checks early on which were then rewarded with some great running trails on the way back. A good job by the hares – a good circle, followed by good food – now that is hashing!

19th August – CH3 – Frozen Dick

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Frozen had been begging me to go for days, confidently claiming virgin terrain and a memorable ridge, so I got out of work to go along and see what he had in store. He launched into the hare brief with a pun about golly gullys and something about a ridge. We set off and within yards of the A bucket we hit the first circle check. With a steep hill up to the right, I headed straight for the higher ground – Skiddy went straight, while Horny set off in between towards a quarry. I was nearing the top of the hill when Horny called from somewhere below to my left – the trail was bending to the left, so I decided not to give up the higher ground, and keep going – luckily I ran into a circle check and some paper, and moments later spotted Horny below me calling the next Circle – On On!

Having checked one way, I set off the other way, and found paper down the other side of the rise – rounding a corner there was a tempting trail off to the left, and I could have put money on imminently hitting a false trail – sure enough, I picked up the stick and met the rest of the FRBs as they got to the true trail. Shortly later a V check left Skiddy the wrong side of a gully, and I got the first pick at a circle check in the next gully. Climbing the ridge beyond, there was a nice little trail heading up the hill. Skiddy called OnOn from right beneath me and I could see his bald head scrambling along a gorge about 15m straight down beneath me. I decided (again) not to give up the higher ground, and kept going, running into the trail a short while later.

We headed up, up, up and I hit a few checks right, before Alice caught me at a circle on a ridge that went several ways. I followed him along a good running trail that went along the top of the hill – made for hashers! At the next check Alice bore right and down, while I bore left and down – perhaps my better sense of direction? Either way I was on, and swung from tree to tree on a fast descent. I got to the bottom and recognised the little clearing with a circle check – we had been here before, but from a different direction – perhaps an Anything run? A good check there had me a long way in the wrong direction, and eventually trapped in the wrong gully. I couldn’t hear anyone, but had a good guess which side to climb out, and as I reached the top of a ridge, the rest of the hashers were crossing a saddle just below me. I quickly cut across and found Soapy in the lead, only for the trail to cut sharply left and Skiddy to take over.

Not that it’s a race, but the lead was rotating nicely. It was down to timing, and ‘only being as good as your last check’. I got to the last check with Skiddy, and turned tail straight back in the direction my gut told me the cars were. I was right, and Horny joined me for the OnIn. Hopefully it won’t go to his head, but it was an excellent run by Frozen Dick!

4th August – CH4 – Human Excrement

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Why does Human Excrement hate us so much??? Perhaps I should ask Klaus Barber to do a write up – I’m sure he really loved today’s run – not! 😉

Last time I was at that runsite, Human Ex was being trained by Skiddy, and they decided not to go to the top of the hill – today, without Skiddy holding him back, Human Ex showed his Square Rooter style… – see a hill, and find a way to get up it.

We set off and things were ok. With some hairy visitors, the pack was strong. We ran through a couple of checks, and a couple of places there could have been checks, before we entered the valley. I checked to the left at that circle, as I really didn’t want to go into the valley… Sadly, the trail led us into the valley – with home advantage, I knew there was no way out without going up, and Beautiful Box and I contemplated finding a short cut when the trail headed up concrete stairs.

Somehow I got to the front at the top of the hill but when the downhill started it was trouble… The hare had found a trail up the hill, but not really bothered to find a way back down. It was a vertical descent that had the pack scattered. The likes of Chuckie stormed by, and Able Seaman leapt off the mountain. For those of us carrying injuries it wasn’t so easy going – and poor Klaus Barber some way behind had real troubles with Frozen Dick. Fortunately we survived, and had time to send the hare back to hare school! He scouted it 5 times??? Seriously???

22nd July – CH3 – Turkish Delight

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I have very low expectations when I see Turkey’s name on the hareline, but being determined to get out there and do something, I set off as it was close to town. The area behind the new expo on canal road puts us somewhere between the boy scout camp and 700 year stadium… I’ve been curious what was back there, and was quite surprised to drive up to the runsite overlooking a large lake that I had no idea was there.

Turkish was beaming, but the sky was darkening, and Chuckie was looking concerned. Sure enough the rains started moments before Turkish was due to give his harebrief. And it was torrential… We were all very reluctant to set off, but there was no sign of it easing and Turkey had clearly put some efforts in. Chuckie ran to his bike to get his poncho and followed along behind us vainly trying to keep his feet dry – ha!

The rain kept coming, and in slippery conditions I found myself quickly at a point that I didn’t feel comfortable getting through with my dodgy ankle. Frozen Dick passed me his walking stick, and I got through! My vanity made me pass the stick right back! I’m young – I don’t need that! Until after about another 100m or so, Frozen Dick suggested I would be better off with the stick – and he was right… Getting through the first km or so was tricky – we slipped and slided our way around the lake which had looked quite nice before, but was now just a mudbath that stank like a raw sewage overflow. I’m sure when Turkish had set off it would have been fine, but by now it was treacherous. Behind me CW kept dawdling along, chatting with Sups – they were clearly going to short cut at the first opportunity. I kept on going trying to stick with Dirty Pervert.

Thankfully we got away from the lake and headed into the hills, along some great trails that I knew must be there, but I didn’t recognise any of them. We cut through a barbed wire fence – did Turkey do that? Not sure what we were getting into (or out of?), but the trail was good. I was keeping up as Skid Mark and Humperdick did all the work up front. Each time they screwed up, I managed to get back to the front and I lost count of how many times Skiddy skiddied by. One particularly memorable check had the 2 FRBs charging down the hill, only for me to find trail back up the hill – I was astounded – sure Square Rooter had helped set this trail – there is no way that Turkish was capable of this??? Fortunately there was good camaraderie between a small field, and we worked together to find the way back, as I confess I was lost and disoriented.

A fun mellow circle was followed by the realisation that on a “Buddha Day” all the bars / restaurants are closed with no hope of more beer etc. A few of us ventured to Nong Flukes, and were greeted with the realisation, that while they couldn’t sell us alcohol, they had no objection to us bringing our own in! Fortunately I had a few leos in the car (as one does for emergencies like this!) so we ended up having a remarkably good OnOnOn! Again, I’m not sure when I will get to type this again, but ‘great job Turkish Delight’!

20th July – CSH3 – Skid Mark Outstation

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Been going stir crazy after tearing ankle ligaments, so decided late on to head up to the outstation. After the usual Friday night frivolities, Saturday was hashing day, and thankfully HRA had brought me a ankle brace which offered great support.

I set off on a great trail, but was soon left behind by the FRBs – Sloppy, Chuckie and HRA along with some visitors. I fell into place with Shagless and Reverse Thrust, with Frozen Dick and Microwave just a little ahead. (I hope I won’t have to type that again!) The trail was fantastic – easy going and some beautiful virgin views. The checks seemed to be quite obvious, but I guess it is a lot easier when they’ve already been kicked out!

Superman sets a formidable pace and I could see him ahead but struggled to make any ground until he stopped to water the orchard, and I ambled along with him to the beer stop. Yes… Beer Stop… Beer and Stop! I’d done enough, better to rest the ankle and enjoy the beer! It sounded like the 2nd half of the trail was just as good as the first and there were plenty of happy faces at the end. A good outstation, ended that evening with some dominos with the ladies – thanks for your money!

The hangover wasn’t as bad as I expected, and so the hangover run was just what the doctor ordered. I managed to be and FRB again with a combination of a little inside information from the hares, some intelligent short cutting and luck.

2nd June – CH4 – HRA

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Following over complicated directions took us to the A bucket behind the Ag Centre, a familiar area. Looking around at the start, it looked like Semen Sores would have to help with some checking – except, he decided to have a restful day, strolling along with Tip Toe, leaving Square Rooter to help me with the checks. We set off in a slightly different direction – this was good, had HRA found some new trails?

I ran up the first hill with Belly Dancer, and at the first check, chose to go left towards some trails that I hadn’t run before. Sadly it was off to the right back towards the familiar waterfall, but not before Frozen had confused everyone with a false call. Anyway, we slid down into a dry stream bed (apart from Blue Tit, who turned back head spinning from the previous night’s hangover!) Along the creekbed and then up a steep path the other side – I got a check right! Behind me, SR had developed a cunning strategy – if I got the check right, he’d wait at the check for me to call it, but if I was wrong, he’d go and check the right trail. Seriously he didn’t put a foot wrong, while I was all over the place.

Finally we turned down the hill along the usual route down to the waterfall cafe. At last I was home free – but this late in the run I was caught up behind Tip Toe, Cumalot, Screwed Up etc. Somehow the hare had done a stellar job of keeping the pack together. Nice <5km on some nice trails – 46 minutes, ideal!

24th March – CH4 – Human Excrement

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Human Ex teamed up with Frozen Dick out in ‘my’ area past Doi Saket. It was Frozen’s birthday run, and the free t-shirts are always appreciated! A slightly different A-site, and the hares were busy trying to feed false information out to us.

We set off through the field that FD had used on a Saturday recently – interesting that he’d chosen a different A-site, but as I jogged along I remembered Skiddy’s faceplant. It had to go left and into the hills, where FD is proud of having found some ‘new’ trails. As we cut up the hill, there was perhaps a trail, but quickly we were into the shiggy, clambering over rocks on a steep ascent. I lucked out at the first set of ‘hybrid skiddy check’, but with the previous days run in my legs, I did all I could just to keep going.

Sure enough we scrambled our way across to the great running trail in the valley behind, and Graven took off with Angry Inch. They could pick up the 2nd powder bottle, but when we set off back over the hill, I was done… My legs were really struggling, but I caught up with the pack as they searched a very tricky check just over the ridge. Turns out it went back, right and up. It took Graven an age to find it, and by the time he did, most of us had bailed, with only Square Rooter to follow him.

Humperdick & HRA set off in search of their partners, who were already sitting at the songthaew. The rest of us started appearing from all directions, bailing with GPS assists.

19th March – CH3 – Dog Shit

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Doggie was back, and picked a “new” area just north of Maejo University – along the way to the Tiger Head, but not that far. Right on time, the regulars were explained about circles and skiddy checks before being let loose on the trail. With a warning of about 7km, we reluctantly set off slowly.

After the first check, I recognised where we were from an HRA run last year – as did he as he gleefully lapped up the trail. Angry Inch seemed to manage to keep appearing in front of me – I have no idea how he managed to do it! Well, except for the obvious – he short cut at every opportunity as usual, and for once got lucky!

At the first set of sticks, Semen Soars did the honorable thing – it was a long check, and he was well ahead running at speed – oops! Skiddy has hared with Doggie several times, as well as having given him a ride to the run, so perhaps had inside information? Either way, he was on good form, near the front as we finally turned to the right, promptly to run down the wrong side of the hill – as I again followed Angry Inch, Skiddy managed to appear ahead of us again. Lots of intelligent running going on out there!

My legs started getting weary – this run was LONG! I felt like we had some way still to go… Somewhere up ahead (or technically behind), Frozen had decided to short cut, and then he found Skiddy Sticks ahead of the pack. The ONLY point of checks is to slow the front runner down, and bring the pack together… Doggie had carefully picked an ideal spot for sticks – so what did FD do? Decided to move them like an FRB should. Freaking FD!!! HRA didn’t see them and got confused when he ran into a single stick. Horny Monkey and Angry Inch called “Skiddy Sticks” when they saw the arrow, which prompted Semen Sores and I to go back looking for another trail. Meanwhile Graven was off the front somewhere ahead.

Ugh, well, we got back in the end – 9.84km according to GI’s GPS!