Tag Archives: Miss Piggy

16th August – CSH3 – Potato Head

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Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Potato Head’s birthday run, but Daddy stepped up to put the leg work in. A vehicle scout on Thursday, and a scout/set on the hash day – Skiddy looked worse for wear and not excited when he got to the A bucket. He looked dejected – a sure sign things hadn’t gone the way he’d hoped…

We set off with Skiddy kitted out like a live hare – and from the hare brief, I was off looking for an “Imaginary Circle Check”. I did my best, but my imagination struggled – half a km into the run and I was still imagining paper! Fortunately Piggy found a trail and we set off. We scrambled through some shiggy, and fortunately I got a couple of checks right. Finally I got one wrong and caught up to the pack as they were confused. There was a circle check – Piggy called OnOn, but threw his voice so the pack followed close to where he’d been, and after a while we found a circle check – around the same time Piggy found another one just 100m to our left.

Which circle were we looking for? I headed right and found trail – but the trail was at a junction and heading in both directions… It looked like we should have got there from a different direction and run around the corner. Kinda confusing, but Cumalot followed my call… Another 100m or so and I found a check back… Hmmm What to do? No sign of anyone behind me – had I short cut? should I clear the check? I grabbed the paper and went back to the junction where trail was going both ways. As I started trying to make the trail Skiddy was calling to me off to the right.

Apparently I was wrong – I suspected as much, and was tempted to just carry on, but Skiddy insisted I went back and did the long extra loop. He told me “go to the next junction and turn right”. I suspected it was inside information to help me get back with the pack, so jogged off down the trail, while Cumalot called On On behind me. Was she calling me, or just calling? With a huge quarry to my right, I saw hashers the otherside disappearing… Was I short cutting? I wasn’t at the junction yet… When I finally got to the junction I turned right, and right again towards the hashers I’d seen… Finally I sign of trail and some paper!!! No hashers, no footprints, which way should I follow it?

I went left, and there was a set of skiddy sticks perfectly intact. Hmmm Had I short cut again? Was I ahead? Should I fix the check? I picked up 2 sticks and headed back towards where I thought the trail had come from, and there was Miss Piggy, walking along with Superbitch. They were probably as surprised as me – I don’t remember the last time I ran into them on trail!!!! I figured the trail out and slowly picked off hashers – Superman, Does Nothing, Geisha Gash (who didn’t short cut). Man I was way out of this thing!

I finally caught up with Anything, Banana Wiggler and Stephen as we got to the false trail that I’d already found. Humperdick was grumbling his way back from it, which gave some inspiration to running harder. Around the corner and there was powder letters all over the trail. “ON OUT” “ON IN” “OH FUCK” “OH DEAR” “OOPS” – I have no idea what it said, or which way we should go, but it was clear we were supposed to follow the first 2k or so back.

I got to the road with Humps and decided to go around to the left rather than just following the out trail back. Humps decided to do the same to the right, but unfortunately for him there weren’t trails to the right and he got his exercise back and forth on the tarmac.

25th August – CSH3 – I Got Gas

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Rating: 10.0/10 (1 vote cast)

The I Got Gas Hash is slowly working it’s way onto the hash calendar – last year it was a great event, and today it was also a superb hash. It helps having a great venue on the edge of some great hashing country, and the pool and barbecue will make even the grumpiest hasher smile!

After suggesting in the week there was only one way out of his house, IGG sent us through the back gate scrambling around the river to a rice field for the On-Out. Being a smart-ass I was sure which way he would send us – towards the hills and the great trails of the King’s Project! First circle check I picked left and got on to the canal trail. When they called On-On to the right, I ‘knew’ it was a matter of time before they crossed the canal, and opted to parallel for a while till we met up… The On-On calls faded, and it turned out there weren’t so many options for getting to the canal. I was alone and off trail, finally making the decision to cut my losses and head back to the first circle…

It happens sometimes that I end up behind Frozen Dick after a bad check, but this time it took me a good km or so to chase down Sunspot and Miss Piggy! Superman offered me a short cut through a canal, and slowly I moved up the pack – it was fun, and the hares had been smart enough with the checks (early on) to let me get back into the action. It was clear we were heading to the right (particularly with my earlier detour to give me inside information), and that was where the hares hit their genius – they knew we wanted to go right, and they teased us with multiple checks that hinted we might go right, only to head straight or off to the left. Where was the trail??

I got lucky. The check that I finally got to the front on had a newbie heading up a hill and me taking the ‘less obvious’, but ultimately more likely, trail through the high grass, off to the right. I was On! We were so far out by now that it had to be straight on back from here, and sure enough, while the trail took in a bit of a climb around the side of a mountain, it was great running and heading straight in the right direction. When there was a check, we met Superman, Just Cumming and Soapy short cutting their way to the trail. It was a great trail, and a front runner’s delight! Even when I did parallel run my way back to the trail in the closing stages (see attached GPS), it was all fun running country.

The summary? We had some tough / interesting checks early on which were then rewarded with some great running trails on the way back. A good job by the hares – a good circle, followed by good food – now that is hashing!

24th Feb – CBH3 – Burrito Butt

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Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast)

One of the reasons that I don’t often go to the Bunny Hash is that it involves bunnies… on a Sunday. If you need to be somewhere early on a Monday morning – DO NOT GO TO THE BUNNY HASH!!! Fortunately, it’s Macha Bucha Day – that means a public holiday in which almost everything is closed – absolutely perfect for a 2-day drinking binge hangover…and uhh… making merit I suppose. Yes, that’s right – 2 days – because I also went out with the boys on Saturday, but we’re not allowed to talk about them here except for the imagined size of their !@#$s… which I’m sure we did over one of our many drinks (see photo just below).

To start, I had no idea how I was going to get to this run. The new GM Burrito Butt had posted an awkward photograph of a map on the Chiang Mai Bunny Hash Facebook page. A map, without written instructions, detailing 2 different ways to get there…except I wasn’t even sure how to get to where the map began without a tortuous drive through the inner city. SO… what’s a girl to do??? Well, I simply made my way to the Adventure Hotel of course and guessed I would figure it out from there! But, my somewhat photographic memory was failing me completely and a phone call to the hares didn’t seem to help much either because I couldn’t remember anything past Step 2. A full petrol tank later and I finally made it to the run site, but not without a visit to Big C and Doi Inthanon AND before realizing that Cumalot had set a run nearby not that long ago – gee – didn’t seem to have any trouble finding the run site then! Perhaps some signs would help BB?

So, I arrived 15 minutes late – all the bunnies had waited, but I told them to go ahead as I wearily put on my shoes. We started on the road with not one of the bunnies doing any running. Had we all been out late the night before? The hare and her co-hare Foxy Cleopatra were following along on the motorbike taking pictures of us from behind – thanks. After a tired chat with Superbitch, I picked up my walking speed a bit to follow the “On” from a circle check. When I looked back and saw Pushback jogging to catch-up after checking in the wrong direction, I realized that I was in the ‘lead’. How did that happen?

At the next circle check, I decided to go on a little adventure down the fishing soi. Miss Piggy, Doesn’t Get It and some others gathered behind me at the check and made a collective decision that I knew where I was going. Every single one of them followed me without bothering to check the other direction and… OOPS! I was wrong, so back we all went.. at least we got some good photos. The hares’ trail stayed on the road with a few hundred meters of grass and dirt thrown in to help make some connections. The remaining circle checks were fairly obvious after that and we finally made our way to the Jungle Bar where we did shots of beer… not far from Big C.

It was time to head back to the A with a good 30 minutes of trail still left to go. I kept getting the checks correct and the bunnies kept falling further and further behind. So far behind at one point that I found the correct, but tricky, “On” from a circle check and made the decision to go back and kick it out so that the girls would know where they were going. The trail then popped right into the middle of someone’s yard in which we were locked in! The homeowner came and opened the gate – apparently he was expecting us – and we made our way back to Burrito’s house. There were scary dogs, lots of checks and plenty of curious locals, but the best part had to be walking past a baby cow standing dutifully at the entrance of a moobaan style house mooing to get in. Only in Th… countries that allow cows on village streets…. probably more places in the world than most westerners realize.

During the nearly 2 hour long circle, we mixed and double fisted wine and beer, put on an ‘ugly lady’ fashion show, learned that even a dick in the mouth can’t shut some people up and had an all around raging good laugh. BUT, the highlight of the night? Popping in for a ‘cleansing ale’ (or 10) at a restaurant full of 200 people – all of whom couldn’t keep their eyes off of Foxy Cleopatra seduce her chair to the sound of the band…. seriously – 200 people and it seemed that we had taken over the restaurant. I really hope one of my students’ parents wasn’t in that crowd!!! You just never know. Until next month… On-On!

Big Top

29th December – CSH3 – Skid Mark

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Rating: 6.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Skiddy teamed up with Frozen Dick, and FD couldn’t have been happier! The directions were on the Maejo road and then left… – that rules out any hills! 😀 Virgin area and a typical Skiddy location. I got there first and found the A bucket in the middle of some rice paddies with water all over the place.

We set off, and immediately I got off paper having missed a circle check. The trail cut to the right and we spent a while weaving backwards and forwards around rice fields crossing over the same god damn road again and again, while the walkers (and Graven Image) just strolled along the road. Finally we cut off and found a way through rice fields and out to a village.

Then was a circle check that took a good 10 minutes to find. Dick the boy tried to kick it out early, Unplugged chatted up the locals and half the pack took off on a huge short cut down the road missing out on some lovely trails that eventually Horny Monkey, HRA and I found with Semen Soars joining us from the wrong direction.

The rest of the checks were already kicked out by the short cutters and one by one we past the walkers. I passed Sun Spot and thought we must be nearly home – although this time he’d managed to do a v. healthy amount of the run. I past Miss Piggy and Cumalot as they danced Gangnam Style to the village music. Finally I saw the On-In and could get a beer. Good turn out at the OnOnOn – nice food at a new restaurant.

8th December – CSH3 – Miss Piggy

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Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Miss Piggy stepped up and volunteered to set the run, recruiting Wooly Jumper as her co-hare. When they announced well in advance it would be at the TV station on Suthep road, we knew there would be some climbing involved… Still a good number showed up and set off.

We ran along a road that’s been used as an On-In more often than an On-Out, and some guy called Ferret came jogging up next to me as though I was sprinting on a treadmill and he was stood chatting next to me. An experienced hasher from out of town decided to circle watch at the first check while I checked the obvious trail. Quickly we turned up the hill, and from the way we scrambled up the side of the hill with a trail I knew of just along side I should have suspected we would be back down again… Foolishly I got the 2nd (of 3) checks wrong, going higher than necessary and was playing catch up down the hill again.

With only one more check to go, it was Sloppy Rod that was testing his mettle against the Ferret, Dead Virgin and I just following in their wake, while Dick Tracy led countless shortcutters to cross paths in front of us. The trail was a short cutters delight!