Tag Archives: Superman

5th January – CSH3 OUTSTATION – Byte My Yahoo & Unplugged

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Looking back over my history running with CSH3 – the first Outstation of the year was usually in February – time enough to recover from the ‘festive season’. Dr Byte must have had some ingenious plan for making the OS the first run of the New Year.

Having survived the end of the World, 1111 and the Fiscal Cliff – just what did the virile duo have in mind? Mae Moh is home to the largest open pit lignite mine in Thailand (extra fascinating info here – http://www.mine-planning.com/Homepage/publications_documents/maemoh.pdf). I had Googled the location and Dr Byte had posted a couple of tempting photo’s to whet our appetites’.

The Friday before was a ‘golfing day’ – I hear this was a great success with one beer per stoke after the 4th hole, and this was followed by a night of drunken debauchery I can’t even begin to write about.

Perhaps wisely I set off on Saturday with Mr Poo and Knockout – what a delight, Knockout sitting up front with me was Poo’s desperate plan to make me drive ‘sensibly’ – and I did – more time with Knockout – thanks Poo – your very lucky and hope you both will be very happy. En route Dr Byte called and asked us to get some powder – huh!? This was a bit ominous – earlier in the morning he called me – and I thought it was some deranged pervert heavy breathing down the line – had he been laying trail or laying Unplugged!!??

Duly we arrived at the EGAT facility with its small town of 1970’s box student dorms – Dick Tracy was the first we encountered and I decided to leave Mr & Mrs Poo to settle in while take a quick look at the mine and power plant.

Behind the power plant were some very tempting looking hills (mountains) – Horny Monkey knew I’d like it here – and I did!

OK OK – enough pre-amble, so what was the run like?

The hares had organised a luxury (compared to the songtheow) coach to take us to A – Wow! – what a place to start a run – a platform sticking out over the valley with the mine and reservoir below – very cool indeed!

So photo op and moment to catch up friends – good to see Big Top and Red Carpet back in town. The hare brief was given an Dr Byte and Unplugged wanted a 2 min head start for an initial live hared section (hence the powder call). Unplugged was clearly visible going up a tower to no-where (that only Horny Monkey gamely went) while BmY arced off to set the real trail. Dick Tracy and Sunspot ignored the 2 mins and raced after him. Dick the Boy Wonder was valiantly trying to delay us by singing some obscure/obscene Texan Hash song – but as the 2 mins popped up – off I went.

Sunspot has been running pretty well of late and had probably 500m under his belt, with Dick Tracy racing ahead – I had to run him down to get to the first check. I’m sure BmY was delighted at the 500m checking I did – wrong! He was chuckling away at the check and rightly predicted I’d catch up with the pack soon enough.

In the middle of ‘thorn forest’ – the checks were tricky and did really well confusing the hell out of us with FRB lead changing frequently. Horny Monkey and Skid Mark seemed to be most energetic – taking it in turns to find the Skiddy Stix. HRA seemed to be getting nearly every check wrong, until he lucked out and the ‘thorn tunnels’ section of the run.

Here HRA used his advantage and powered ahead with Big Top, Game Set & Snatch, visitor Skiddy, Shagless, Red Carpet, Pamala, Mr Poo and me in pursuit.

For the short cutters there was a convenient road parallel to the ‘tunnels’ – so they easily kept up with Thobbing Ninja and Superman enjoying our shrieks at getting skewered with thorns and stickers every few meters.

Looking to the East – there were gorgeous mountains were crying out for a (Lanna?) hash on/up then, but BmY would have none of that – dirt, stickers, cow shit, flat, flat and more flat were on his mind and he joyfully kept popping up at every other check to marvel at how well he was keeping the pack together.

The highest elevation change was a mere 4 meters – but it was great fun. Just under 7km we came On In to the waiting coach – overlooking the stunning valley as the sun was beginning to set. Everyone came in close together – Frozen Dick was in ahead of the foragers – Cumalot, Super Bitch and Throbbing Ninja.

Screwed Up ran his first run since his knee op and well deservedly got the Male Wings.

The circle was joyful and fun – beer flowed and humour grew as the sun set over the valley – excellent job hares!

OnOn
BD

19th November – CH3 – Skid Mark

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In honour of Superman’s 600th run, Skiddy set the trail close by Sup’s office and spent a good while explaining to the Songthaew driver how to get there. Nonetheless we set off on time, and jogged along past some dogs to the first check, which most of immediately got wrong as we chose not to check through someone’s garden. Anyway, it wouldn’t be the last time I screwed up and seemed to spend most of my time coming back from checking in the wrong places. One of my bad checks left me so far off trail that most of the hashers thought I’d short cut. Nope I was just a long way behind for a long time. When I overtook Frozen he asked where I’d come from. I gradually picked off Tip Toe, Superman, Sticky Wicket, Slippery When Wet, and eventually got to the back of the FRBs as they looked after the Skiddy Sticks.

I turned back and quickly picked up the paper going back in the opposite direction. I hit the front of the pack and my luck changed as I ran through the next few checks with voices getting fainter behind me. The last circle caught me out though and I spent some time checking along the road before cutting into the field. I could hear Skiddy roaring with laughter in that direction, so I knew I must be close. Turns out I found the beer before the On-In, but went back to guide the pack through a tiny tunnel.

Just about all my legs wanted after 3 days consecutive hashing. Shame about the circle! 😉

5th November – CH3 – Frozen Dick

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After a long absence, my first run back with the male hash and circumstance led it to be Frozen Dick and Belly Dancer… Of course I can’t forget when Belly left us out in the wild in the dark, and Frozen has a history in that area of setting 11+km runs that got fucked up – what could the pair of them concoct together???

The hare brief was brief – especially by Frozen Dick standards – and we set off along the edge of a lake to a circle check next to a weir. Of course it would be across the weir, but only Skiddy followed me over and we dispersed through the myriad of trails that were there. There were lots of good trails on the other side of the water, and only after we’d exhausted the nice trails did I check the shiggy crappy trail that ran along the waterside. Frozen had pulled a chair up to watch from the other side, so it was pretty clear I was onto something. Sure enough I was in shit, but apparently this was the trail.

We hit a road and so the tarmac began. I ran the wrong way, I ran further the wrong way, it seemed every direction I set off in was wrong… Dogs attacked, and the pack caught up as Poo found trail leading up the hill – only we weren’t going up the hill, that was just a lamely marked false trail. Back to the road where the trail was marked on the back of trees, but it was clearly on tarmac. Another circle had me way off trail to the left, and Poo not spotting the crappy false trail to the right. More tarmac!

Finally we cut off the road and Skiddy was leading along a muddy track. We ran straight past a circle hidden away to the right. Nobody was interested in checking right, so we all ran straight to the paper. Humperdick didn’t like the look of the next check, but after around 150+++ metres I found paper and called on. The V was redundant, as Poo ran over the hill while I ran around it.

Then there was a circle by a little lake / quarry type thing. It was familiar ground – Just Cumming had run us here just a few weeks back. It doesn’t go anywhere – at least it doesn’t go anywhere nice… I checked around in circles around the lake, only to hear Poo calling up the hill way in the distance… I jogged over and had a look as the trail went up. Square Rooter decided to go for it. I looked the opposite direction at the white pagoda where my car was…

I was concerned about Tip Toe, and so helped him walk back… 😉 Meanwhile Sups and Missing Link had already turned back. Kwazi had done his own run from the start. 2 days in a row I turned back at the base of a mountain after 4-5 km…

13th October – CSH3 – Mr. Poo

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Mr. Poo chose Frozen Dick to co-hare with him, and that explains why the run was way out past Doi Saket, and not at Wat Umong or the Boy Scout Camp..! Anyway, we made our way out to the outstation, with Superman and Chilly Pussy missing the run start. Sups was duly punished for not getting the beer there on time, and Humps protested the lack of water. Turkish had already confused most of the drivers by stopping at the wrong A site, while Big Top, Geisha Gash and Shagless cruised way past the A bucket, presumably scouting future runs?

After such a shambolic start, we set off and I immediately got the first check wrong, but I caught back up with the FRBs as we approached a lake that I have some less than fond memories of. Jogging down away from the lake, I kicked a snake by mistake – ugh!!! At the cross check, Chuck Wao correctly guessed uphill and after coming back from the check back a largish group proceeded up the hill. They hares had done a good job with the checks, and there were some more tough ones to come – Skiddy found the paper after a great check that brought everyone back together before sending us down a tiny ‘trail’? We scrambled across a hill and as we emerged to a small trail the other end, we were completely disoriented.

Turkish got the pick of the check and cruised off the way we all wanted to go. We suspected him of silent running and followed after him – meanwhile, Sloppy Rod was the silent running c*nt who wanted to win like a racist bastard and refused to call again for the rest of the run. As Chuck Wao, myself and HRA pursued him fortunately he got his just deserts and was later punished on the ice.

The circle was fun, and then it was in to town to be punished by the evil Big Top!

11th August – CSH3 – Humperdick

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We set off towards the football field along the canal road, only to drive past it and weave our way along bumpy roads to a novel run site – so novel that HRA was desperate to plot the co-ordinates so he could return and steal the route again, while many of the female driving hashers were already worried about a dark exit… The perfectionist hare was already busy assisting Turkish with his erection.

Right on cue Sups arrived so we could unload and set off in good time. I careered off, sprinting down the hill, only to get the first check completely wrong and have to pick my way through hashers as we doubled back straight up the hill to where the hare was waiting. Bastard.

We jogged along, and then scrambled through some shiggy and finally intercepted some familiar trails. The pace was ok, with Chuckie, HRA, myself, Unplugged, Horny Monkey and occasionally Turkish taking turns at the front. We climbed up a gentle trail, before plunging down a road – time to open up the legs, only to find a sharp corner at the bottom as the sadistic hare turned and took us back up the hill again. Argh – Chuckie, loving the hills, hit the front and nobody could keep pace with him. We arced back down and surely this would be it? No – there was more pain to come with another climb to get over to the next valley – from the top of this final ascent Turkey’s Erection had the ladies gasping and all charged towards it. As I finally dropped to a walk on the road at the On-In, I was suddenly passed by a pack including Roger D and Big Top! WTF? Where did they come from? Clearly they came straight along the road missing the final climbs. Short Cutting and Sprint Finishing – excellent hash behaviour.

30th July 2012 – CH3 – Superman

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A lovely evening, a keen pack of over a dozen hounds, scenic hills and open forest, idyllic trails….what could go wrong? Amost everything!

And it all started so well. Away we sauntered, skipping like lambkins up the forest path to the first circle in the perfect place. Trails ahead, back right, to the sides. Off eveyone went, full of good spirit, hither and thither, thither and hither, and soon we were doubling over everyone else’s trails and checking up to 300m and dropping into gullies. Where was the fcuking paper? Eventually Horned Moonbeam decided we should all head back to A site and question the hare!

The circle was kicked out backwards and On On yelled, much to Kwazi’s disbelief and annoyance. Back down the hill we went to find a disconsolate hare. Grumbledick grumbled the most and Sups gave out the direction of his on on paper. Beers were opened but Alice, Ryan aka Forest (appropriate) and GD headed straight back up to rejoin our trail and return to the offending circle in question. Even with Sups instructions it took 5 minutes to find paper at a tad over a 100m strewn off a small trail in the bush. Frozen was still up there and we doubted he’d find it! It wasn’t easy to find. Needles in haystacks. Rational women. Blue Moons. Hardworking Scousers. Virgins in Pattaya etc. You get the drift.

We ran off on neat piles of shredded paper and managed to follow all of Sups well laid trail thru the forest, down the gravel road behind the Night Safari, up into a small settlement, down thru some outhouses and then along darkening forest trails up and over ridges and spurs and back to the On iN before dusk completely fell. It was well worth the effort because Sups lays a good run, but a bit stressful with only three guys checking everything and racing the onset of the powers of darkness. But enough of the Burrito Butt.

The circle was a bit fraught at times. Sups poetically described the pack as “p*ss weak cnuts” and then increased the syllable count to “p*ssy wh*pped cnuts”. A few good splashes were doled out and some also rans. Visitor Ryan aka Forest was welcomed to the group. A married missionary working with CNX churches setting up HIV/Aids programs, he had been been in Malawi (former British Nyasaland)in Southern Africa for ten years. All the crap quasi religious half quotes and jokes we could muster were aimed in his general direction and I think he realised by the end, as Square Rooter said, “There is fertile ground for you here Ryan, there are plenty of sinners and souls to save!” Amen to that.

ONON you bastards.
A Lice