A lovely evening, a keen pack of over a dozen hounds, scenic hills and open forest, idyllic trails….what could go wrong? Amost everything!
And it all started so well. Away we sauntered, skipping like lambkins up the forest path to the first circle in the perfect place. Trails ahead, back right, to the sides. Off eveyone went, full of good spirit, hither and thither, thither and hither, and soon we were doubling over everyone else’s trails and checking up to 300m and dropping into gullies. Where was the fcuking paper? Eventually Horned Moonbeam decided we should all head back to A site and question the hare!
The circle was kicked out backwards and On On yelled, much to Kwazi’s disbelief and annoyance. Back down the hill we went to find a disconsolate hare. Grumbledick grumbled the most and Sups gave out the direction of his on on paper. Beers were opened but Alice, Ryan aka Forest (appropriate) and GD headed straight back up to rejoin our trail and return to the offending circle in question. Even with Sups instructions it took 5 minutes to find paper at a tad over a 100m strewn off a small trail in the bush. Frozen was still up there and we doubted he’d find it! It wasn’t easy to find. Needles in haystacks. Rational women. Blue Moons. Hardworking Scousers. Virgins in Pattaya etc. You get the drift.
We ran off on neat piles of shredded paper and managed to follow all of Sups well laid trail thru the forest, down the gravel road behind the Night Safari, up into a small settlement, down thru some outhouses and then along darkening forest trails up and over ridges and spurs and back to the On iN before dusk completely fell. It was well worth the effort because Sups lays a good run, but a bit stressful with only three guys checking everything and racing the onset of the powers of darkness. But enough of the Burrito Butt.
The circle was a bit fraught at times. Sups poetically described the pack as “p*ss weak cnuts” and then increased the syllable count to “p*ssy wh*pped cnuts”. A few good splashes were doled out and some also rans. Visitor Ryan aka Forest was welcomed to the group. A married missionary working with CNX churches setting up HIV/Aids programs, he had been been in Malawi (former British Nyasaland)in Southern Africa for ten years. All the crap quasi religious half quotes and jokes we could muster were aimed in his general direction and I think he realised by the end, as Square Rooter said, “There is fertile ground for you here Ryan, there are plenty of sinners and souls to save!” Amen to that.
ONON you bastards.