Tag Archives: None of Your Business

3rd November – CH4 – Itchy Bitchy

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Itchy stepped up, and the run was way down canal road – great running area. Itchy was coy in the harebrief, no clues as to how far it was but time to start running! I set off with None of Your Business and Brownfinger, and at the end of the road was the first circle check. Brownfinger graciously let NOYB take the most obvious trail, and pointed me out a further option. Pretty close to the circle I found pink paper – it seemed too close, but there was another piece. OK, I guess i’m on? A quick call and everyone came over to decide it was old paper. Back to the circle – everyone seemed to head off in the direction BF had been checking, but I went with NOYB to where he hadn’t gone far enough.

This time we found the paper, and were off. Familiar trails, and I nailed quite a few checks, out of contact with the pack behind me. Things were going well, and the ‘dream hash’ flashed through my mind… And of course then I got to the check that screwed me over! I checked straight, I checked right, I checked further right, and then set off left – finally I could hear the pack approaching from behind. I was wrong again! Where was the trail??? Even with the help of the other FRBs it took us another 5 minutes or so to find the trail, and the pack set off again – knowing that we must be turning right soon…

Of course we got it wrong when the trail didn’t turn right, and kept going straight. Finally we followed Square Rooter around to the right, and it was Poo that took up the pace along the mud roads back towards the A site. Brown Finger was on a mission to chase him down, but he did the right thing checking the dummy way at another junction, while Graven and I jogged along behind Poo. A further check, and it had to be to the left, but with Poo and Graven already checking there, I gambled on straight. There must have been some fuck up as it took forever to be called, by which time I’d started paralleling into a field surrounded by barbed wire. I had to head back, and ended up with 8k on the clock, some ways behind the true FRBs. We Are F R B!

2nd November – CSH3 – I Got Gas

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I Got Gas setting a run in Maejo, but not from the mansion! He teamed up with HRA, and following the hash signs reminded me of a scouting mission that HRA and I abandoned a few years back. This time the hares had got us permission to run in the grounds of the Maejo University farm! I remember previously thinking ‘there must be some good trails here’, so finally we’d find out!

Hare brief (not so brief) over we set off and there was a nice little downhill stretch – knowing there would be uphills later, I took off only to get the first V check wrong. None of Your Business was briefly ahead till he flunked the 2nd check. Turkey managed to get ahead through his usual Silent Running strategy – fortunately it didn’t last long! Heading right, perhaps we were going to use the paper we’d seen on the road on the way in? I’d thought it was a decoy, but it turned out it was part of the trail – useful information, as I got to that check first and led the way.

Things were going well for me, and the pace was fast – very fast for a hash! Then the young visitor suddenly appeared behind me, somehow managing to chase me down! He had some form, and when he hit the rest of the checks right, not even Brown Finger could catch him. Yes – Brown Finger was back – great to run alongside him again! The run was 35 minutes, with the uphill finish the worst part, but a good work out, and easily long enough given the heat and the pace on flat trails. A nice set, with many trails we haven’t used.

12th October – CSH3 – Horny Monkey

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Horny is the hare… shall we go? The run site – some village coffee shop near 700 year stadium… shall we go? The GM out of town and Square Rooter appointed acting GM – wtf… shall we go? It seemed to have everything going against it!

Anyway, None of Your Business wanted to go along, so I drove off to the run-site… For some reason Horny had decided to try to hide his hash signs – much like a hare hides the first paper after a circle check. We weren’t the only ones driving around in circles, until I checked my phone and remembered the run time had changed – the run had just started and we were still looking for a sign! Finally we got there, stumbled out of the car and set off running through the village.

After a very long check I found myself out in front only for the trail to disappear. With hindsight it seems it should have been skiddy sticks, but nobody found them – instead everyone dispersed and ended up on trail up ahead. A very confusing section, that hours later we still couldn’t really figure out what had happened. We would probably still be running backwards and forwards around a big digger, kicking out the same V check again and again – but fortunately the hare stepped out and sent us in the right direction.

Another very long check and finally we were teased with a nice trail – it was brief as imminently we hit skiddy sticks. I say ‘we’, but to be honest Mr. Poo had run on past them in a simple joy about the beautiful trail he’d found. It was back again and after a little stumble we were heading up a little hill. Now Horny had managed to get in my head, and he was confusing me. I’d seen the circle checks on the main road, but were they real? My first guess was they were fakes, or were they? Damnit!

Horny somehow had pulled out a decent run – i.e. it wasn’t a complete fuck up! He’d even put together a figure of 8, and he only needed to tell us what to do once! (It happened to be at the meeting point of the ‘8’, but hey!

15th Sept – CSH3 – Snail Trail

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So, Snail Trail had the genius to send the housekeeper away so Skiddy had to set the run… Skiddy sent Frozen Dick & Humperdick out to find a new area for the CH3 1000th run, and then promptly stole the runsite for this run… Nice effort! A good run site, and nice shelter overlooking a pleasant lake, if only there was accommodation, we could have stayed over for an outstation!

We got let loose and at the first circle check I decided to climb the steep mountain to the right, rather than the obvious little trail that went straight on – it was only my first mistake, getting down the cliff was harder than climbing up it. I got back with the group, and quickly got another check wrong. Things weren’t clicking for me early on.

Chasing back from another wrong check, None of Your Business and I got attacked by a swarm of bees. Damn it! Semen Soars was also screwing everything up, and finally I got to a circle that was being checked left and right. There seemed to be a way through the forest straight on, and at last a bit of luck as there was some paper hanging there. I’d got something right, and at just the right time as the trail had to start turning left and back towards the A.

A hash of 2 parts, from then on I nailed everything, with Patrick trying to chase me down in between each check. I even picked the Skiddy Check leaving Patrick to go in search of sticks while Turkish, Square Rooter and I carried on. Finally we got to the base of the dam, and there was a cute little trail that climbed up the side to the OnIn on the dam. Great run on some new trails.

28th July – CH4 – None of Your Business

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It was supposed to be None of Your Business’s second haring. the first one was a great run that got torrentially rained on, so I was really looking forward to this one. He’s a great young man and a great hasher and even though several hashers were out of town for a male outstation and several women were at the end of the month Bunny hash, a nice bunch showed up to support our young hare prodigy- or so we thought. Dad did the hare brief and admitted that he and the two younger brothers did the lion’s share of setting the run-the hare cut the paper. We set out towards the road , with NOYB running with us (a certain give-a-way of his true haring status) and got to the first circle check by the road. I thought for sure they would go across the road and bike paths so i did a flying leap across the rain gutter and twisted my ankle only 100 meters into the run. I walked along the bike path certain that the run would come to my side of the road at the next check. Wrong again– so i caught up with Reverse Thrust and we walked along the dirt path that took us to the dam. I assured Reverse Thrust that BMY usually hates hills and certainly would avoid any hills with his freshly healed ankle. Wrong again- So far I am 0 for 3.

From the top of the hill over-looking the dam, we spied His Royal Anus proudly prancing across the dam. We followed the girls on a minor shortcut up the spillway to get to the dam and once we crossed found a kicked out check leading us through snake infested bushes to a village and up another minor hill to the road where we saw Dr. Byte in his car checking us out. There we crossed the road, heard on on calls and found our way to the calls where we caught up with the pack at a circle check by a small gully. Seeing footprints in the sand in the gully, i followed them until i heard the on call. Wrong again. I never caught up with the pack again and actually lost the paper near the horse farm. I did the only thing a habitual DFL could do at that point- follow my GPS back to the circle.

NOYB was our GM for the day and with some prompts from dad and others did a good job running the circle. After the circle was closed we socially drank for a while and then took off for the Hash Pub. All in all, a very mellow and enjoyable run and circle.


25th March, CH3, Byte My Yahoo

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So what to expect from Cuddly Ken – Chiang Mai’s most innocent and alluring male Hasher (as well as most intelligent) … hummm … he hates hills, to date has set great running trails and is dab hand at the BBQ.

With a little telegraphing he’d be setting a slightly longer run – after both CSH3 and CH4 both >7km affairs – there was a certain degree of trepidation about what BmY had in store for us. None of this was eased when arriving at the A bucket – with him going on about how he’d set the run at 6AM and had been rehydrating on beer ever since – he even quipped to Belly Dancer that he had some doubt if BD would even make it back – I began to think there might be a muaahh aspect to this run.

The hare brief was absurdly short – just circle checks – and off out we were sent down a dirt road and it was 800m before the first circle check appeared – those who’d attempted None of Your Business’s storm truncated CH4 run had some advantage and soon found trail – and this continued with copious checks keeping us all together until the ‘hill’!

Hill – WTF – this is BmY – who professes to hate hills, and no small hill at that – up and up the bastard went and apart from the specially invited FRB In and Out – who checked like a demon all over the place and still ran up the mountain – the weary pack ground their way up BmY’s hellish rock strewn trail.

At the ‘top’ of course there was a check and the pack was all over the place looking for the trail – Kwazi Moto declared no more hills for him and vanished somewhere, leaving BD with Square Rooter and Dog Shit. Of course they sailed down the hill – rather rock strewn death trap – and fortunately Square Rooter held back long enough to indicate where the trail headed (right) – Doggy vanished – perhaps he found the real (nice & safe) trail Humprdick had found but the circle check had been kicked out straight down the 27’ slope!

Way down nearing the bottom of the slope of death – HRA appeared with Angry Inch who’d lost his GPS in an earlier tumble, and HRA valiantly assisted BD down the most evil part of the hill. Into the gully and putting a little cantor on with HRA – we got back in touch with Square Rooter and Semen Soars and later on Fishy Finger too. Up the slope Horny Monkey was commanding everyone to stick together which was much appreciated.

At last into what we were expecting from a BmY run – the more familiar dirt trails and with some disgust – black top/concrete road which had checks a plenty.

At the point where we came to the quarry we were all very close together – Humperdick appearing from left field after checking behind a wall for 400m – with a glance a GPS showing ~1km to the A bucket and the sun well and truly set – HRA again kindly stick with me and a ghostly Graven Image came up on our rear as BmY’s final evil twist of a stinking stream had to be navigated before the final jog in along 800m of filthy dirt road.

Amazingly BmY achieved the rare feat of getting the whole pack in (ex a short cutting Kwazi) with ~ 10 minutes of each other. In and Out and Graven Image had ~10km on their GPS and I had 7.4km.

A tough run – a bit bigger postage stamps would have helped on the confidence of not getting lost in the dark – but a well set run. BmY did deliver on expectations in the BBQ department – I don’t believe he made the burgers but thanks for a good feed and Horny led an entertaining circle.


27th January – CH4 – Anything & Throbbing Ninja

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Anything & Throbbing Ninja teaming up to set the run…. Run that past me again? Throbbing Ninja has a historic reputation for welcoming a group of visitors from overseas by setting one of the biggest hill climbs in hash history (recently surpassed by the ball breaker, but epic nonetheless). Anything has set some good runs, but you can be sure they will always be a tough test. I was worried!

We set off onto the road and back on a familiar trail through the field. Angry Inch was on my heels, and immediately my calf started tightening up. I just hoped I’d run it off and it did seem to ease off, but my legs were definitely feeling the effects of Frozen’s run the day before.

The pack was kept together as we searched for paper with the hares laying trail on the left, and then the right, and then the left, and then hiding it in trees (so it wouldn’t get burnt?). The road took us up and we finally got to a check. Angry Inch must be obsessed with my ass, and he followed me around the corner as Chuckie spluttered. It was HRA tho that checked the other way and when I turned back at the check back, sure enough CW was also behind me!

The next opportunity took us up into the hills and most of the run was on the great trails up in the mountains. Our visitor from Florida couldn’t stop smiling – he’d loved it! As we came down the hill there was a breakaway of Mr Poo, Angry Inch and now named (Cheap) Hole Hunter being chased down by HRA, myself, Chuck Wao and Graven Image. There were some excellent places for checks, but no checks as we back and forth up and down at the edge of the hills. Finally we hit the trail at the bottom and it was home free. I slowed to a walk and was gradually passed by Skiddy, Unplugged, Human Ex, while Crazy Crack & None of Your Business were close behind. Actually a great run that was a little much for me, with my only criticism being not enough checks at certain points!

Back in time for the circle….. Yikes!

25th December – CH3 – Square Rooter

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9 of us showed up for Rooter’s Christmas Run, set from a familiar site at Huay Tung Thao. Indeed SR had taken us running through there just last week, so I wondered if we’d have the same run from a different starting point. Not to be as he took us into the housing development. Belly Dancer was chomping at the bit as usual, but it was myself and None of Your Business checking at the first circle.

With an area constrained by the houses and the river, I went about 100m and saw some paper in the distance, sure enough I got there a little before None of Your Business came around the hill on the true trail. The next check foxed me as the hare had chosen the shiggy crossing of the water and taken us over to the trail at the bottom of the mountain.

Here I was convinced I knew what the hare had in mind and set off to the left. There was the paper, and sure enough at the next corner was another circle. This time I set off right towards the water fall and a familiar little loop, but no paper! As Mr Poo called from the trail my head was confused – what on earth was he doing – surely not taking us all the way up the hill, and surely not out to the canal road? It wasn’t A->B, so how could we get back around?

Graven Image joined us as we got to another check, and he reluctantly called us on up the hill. ARGH! I’ve scouted this area quite a bit, and if there is a way to get around, it must be way up the hill… At the next checks he had us all over the place, searching higher and higher up the mountain, but with no sign of paper. Belly Dancer (yes you read it right!), got the last check right as it went along the trail that takes us straight back to where we’d just been – nobody wanted to check it.

I passed BD as he started extending his stick to help him on the downhill, and sure enough we were back on the main trail, but the checks had been replaced with arrows and we soon caught the devious hare as he ambled back along the trail that he’d relaid. Nice one!

1st December – CSH3 – Chilly Pussy

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Whoa! Who set that run? I know Chilly Pussy was the hare, and she engaged Anything as her co-hare, and they took Barbin Doll along for the experience, and somehow they managed to pull that off! Some excellent running trails, some clever checks, plenty more runnable sections, the odd bit of shiggy scramble. I think Humperdick summed it up best when he came in and said ‘very good run…. for a male hash’. It was excellent, but with quite a few coming in in the dark, perhaps a little much?

We set off and had a steep descent to a predictable first circle check. So predictable that Belly Dancer, (perhaps with the nepotistic aid of GPS), started calling “On On” without bothering to wait for paper. I was doing well, getting the checks right, until one circle. I chased over to where Poo was, and luckily found him climbing up a steep hill on the false trail of a V check. Ha! Not the last false trail he would find today. The hares had cunningly cut along the side of the hill only to go back up the same hill just around the corner – poor poo.

Then was the circle that had us foxed. Finally None of Your Business found the trail which was close to the circle on an obvious trail. No idea why it took us so long to find it, but by the time I had scrambled back up the hill I was behind Square Rooter and Horny Monkey. I enjoyed the steep descent swinging between the trees and finally caught Poo and None of your Business as we got into the creek valley. None of Your Business thought he might be almost home, and he might “win”, so he sprinted off, only to find quite a lot more to do.

Another V cost Poo dearly and finally we emerged from the jungle. Perhaps the hares were lost at this point as we scrambled up and down, round and around, along the edge of the jungle back to the A. On the whole it was a great run, just what I look for in hashes. Good job Chilly & Anything! You can call this “some eulogistic tosh” if you like – I guess it can hurt one’s feelings if someone’s wife sets a much better run than they can!