Tag Archives: Semen Soars

29th December – CSH3 – Skid Mark

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Skiddy teamed up with Frozen Dick, and FD couldn’t have been happier! The directions were on the Maejo road and then left… – that rules out any hills! 😀 Virgin area and a typical Skiddy location. I got there first and found the A bucket in the middle of some rice paddies with water all over the place.

We set off, and immediately I got off paper having missed a circle check. The trail cut to the right and we spent a while weaving backwards and forwards around rice fields crossing over the same god damn road again and again, while the walkers (and Graven Image) just strolled along the road. Finally we cut off and found a way through rice fields and out to a village.

Then was a circle check that took a good 10 minutes to find. Dick the boy tried to kick it out early, Unplugged chatted up the locals and half the pack took off on a huge short cut down the road missing out on some lovely trails that eventually Horny Monkey, HRA and I found with Semen Soars joining us from the wrong direction.

The rest of the checks were already kicked out by the short cutters and one by one we past the walkers. I passed Sun Spot and thought we must be nearly home – although this time he’d managed to do a v. healthy amount of the run. I past Miss Piggy and Cumalot as they danced Gangnam Style to the village music. Finally I saw the On-In and could get a beer. Good turn out at the OnOnOn – nice food at a new restaurant.

15th December – CSH3 – Belly Dancer / Big Top / Frozen Dick / Skid Mark – RUN 1,111

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The day had finally come, and it was time to head out to the biggest hash of the year – the biggest hash in a couple of years since the 1,000 run. I wasn’t feeling too well on account of Human Excrement, but managed to scramble my way out to the runsite a bit early to make sure everything was in order. There was a pervasive nervous tension around, or was that just my dodgy stomach? My ribs were hurting and I wasn’t sure I was up for the 11 grueling KM the hares had put together.

The first beer stop was immediate – great way to start, except that it was Chang, and I immediately wanted to vomit! Then it was chasing Frozen Dick’s live haring – with 11 minutes headstart of course! The crowd of around 90 set off and just around the corner had our 2nd beer stop. Across the carpark was the 3rd beer stop with a 4th on the reservoir wall. Time for a group photo and for the pack to split between the ‘long run’ and the ‘short run’.

The hares had given me some inside information about the start of the long run, so I had little choice but to take that option, and led the way towards the ‘zoo’. We’d been told something about just follow the trail and just through the gate there would be a circle check. Well we went through a gate and spread out looking for trail. Sadly you can rely on hashers fucking things up, and the gate was somewhere else. Plenty of time eaten up already and we hadn’t even found the trail.

When we found the circle, it was a tricky one, and took another 10 minutes or so before Dead Virgin picked up the scent and we were off. The circles were pretty small (quarter A4), and we missed the 2nd circle check, but eventually found the trail further on. My ribs were killing me – I really shouldn’t have been running, and promptly collapsed vomiting on the trail, which didn’t help at all.

OnOn, and the pack was brought back with some skiddy sticks. Anal Birth found the trail off to the right and gave the least inspiring call in history. The checks had been screwing with us, and at one point we’d done 3km in an hour. This was going to be a long 11km. Finally we emerged and saw Frozen and Skiddy checking on our slow progress. Another regroup, and by now my ribs were just a dull constant agony, so I had a bit of a run with Alice past another reservoir. Great running trails all over the place, and the pace picked up. We took a sharp turn up some steps and found a circle. As I checked straight on all of a sudden I heard Graven calling confidently to the right and Alice calling confidently to the left. There were OnOns all around me and in my confused state I had no idea where to go, so I kept on forwards and finally intercepted the trail on top of a ridge. Alice came running up to me, and we jogged on together with a large part of the pack having missed out the whole mountain part of the run.

I had very little idea where we were, but the checks had been kicked out so I just kept jogging along until we bumped into Screwed Up complete with beer for another beer stop. He had no idea what was going on and nor did Chilly Pussy just around the corner. Finally we saw Big Top holding a sign on the other side of a little lake, begging us to swim across to her – it was a short cut! I gave Mr. Poo my watch and jumped in leaving Poo and Alice to jog off the long way around the lake. We were definitely not a pack any more, but Suckit appeared as I was climbing out and duly jumped in for a swim. Dead Virgin took the swim option too.

Along the road a bit and we found Angry Inch running towards us, eventually figuring out where we were and found trail leading into the last 4 beer checks. I think I missed a beer check, and some how passed the other long run runners. Oh well, I’d done enough and had to get the circle started while the remaining runners made it back in fits and starts – Semen Soars being the last man in as the circle closed, and Cumalot strolling along with her headphones.

OnOnOn to the river market for some excellent food and some more post run analysis. Thanks to all who put in so much effort – and thank goodness it’s over! 😉

My GPS track has gained a bit of distance as I forgot to switch it off…

18th November – CH4 – Big Top

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EVIL was setting the run, and she’d done a web search to try and find a virgin runsite! The runsite was probably virgin – it looked like it had been dug out a few days before, and we proceeded to park up in a mud pit. Fortunately it wasn’t raining! I was pretty sure we’d run around the area fairly recently though!

The hare brief warned us about the potential of 200m circle checks (just to fuck with us), as well as false trails etc. I was trying to pay attention, but wasn’t the only one suffering from an EVIL induced hangover! 😉 Anyway, Humperdick and I set off running and the trail started with a circle. Only one obvious trail away from it, and I was calling OnOn at the road. We ducked into a resort, and a circle at the side of a lake. Clearly we had to go one side of the lake or the other, so I set off running – with potentially 200m to the first powder I got to the other side of the lake before I heard Chuckie calling from the road on the cliff above me. Darn it to buggery, I was screwed!

I cut through a resort that Bend Over and HRA have used as an A bucket before, and rejoined the trail behind Frozen Dick. I caught Human Excrement as he guarded a check – no effort to kick it out, just standing and guarding!

The trail headed up the hill, a nice trail that I’ve run down before – I prefer running down it! Semen Soars and Chuckie were enjoying themselves up front while Poo and I enjoyed ourselves behind Unplugged and Beautiful Box! There’s a great trail that cuts around the side of the mountain, and we could see SS ahead, so far ahead… After a circle check the hare gave great attention to avoiding the nice trail down, cutting steep down an orchard instead. CW didn’t like it, but he didn’t like me throwing myself off the side either, so we hit the rubber wall together. No chance either of us was going to check left – that’s about a 10km detour!!! The next False Trail caught out CW because he’s a good sport, and it let Poo join us at the last check.

The memory of the 200m circle checks had faded, and the pack regrouped as we didn’t want to go past 120… Finally CW found it and jogged on home. Very similar to a run that Bend Over and HRA have set in reverse, but there is a good reason – it’s a good run!

17th November – CSH3 – Superbitch

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Superbitch teamed up with Wooly Jumper for the run, and they were looking suitably haggard when we showed up – they were busy picking the grass seeds out of their trousers. An ominous sign. They told me roughly where to start, but with the paper starting around a few corners, we were lucky to find the out trail!

At the first check we passed one of the world’s most mangy dogs, and I was attacked by a few more as I missed where the trail left the road up into the hills. It was a scramble up the shiggy bank to a trail and HRA hit the front. I jogged along with Horny Monkey, Humperdick and Unplugged until we met HRA coming back from a false trail at a cross check. I got lucky at the next check and hit a few checks spot on, going well until HRA caught me at a circle check on the top of a hill.

The trails looked familiar, we were close to where Square Rooter and I set about a month back. HRA sprinted off past me to check to the left, and I reluctantly went to the right – this time I was lucky though, and found the trail through a field and into some more shiggy. It was slow going and I heard Chuckie behind asking how far ahead I was.

Now we were on the trails I knew and getting another circle right I sped ahead rounded a corner and there was the “ON IN”. I was a little confused as I didn’t think we were that close to the A, but we had already done 4.5km or so. I kept plugging away, and then got off paper. Chuckie caught up as I started thinking I’d screwed up, but after 500m or so, we found some paper.

CW was begging me to let him overtake after the On-In, and eventually I let him go. Semen Soars also went past. How far was this??? My GPS said about 2.2km from the On-In back to the beers… It seems the hares hadn’t scouted and had grossly misjudged where they were, and neglected to go back and move the On-In. Shame as that was probably the only downside to a nice run on some great trails!

21st October – CH4 – Human Excrement

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Human Ex teamed up with Skid Mark for a run out on the new Sankampaeng road. I gingerly made my way out there, still trying to recover from the punishing that Throbbing Ninja gave yesterday, and then Big Top gave last night!

We set off, and immediately found a small girl who was proudly brandishing a handful of Human Ex strips that she’d found hanging on the trees… Bugger! We should be pleased that HE had set it in Human Ex Strips, rather than Human Ex… but it took us a while to get started – randomly finding the first circle.

I was off and feeling lucky – sure enough I breezed through the first couple of checks until we hit the canal. What to do? I had some space, so the key was to get across the canal as surely we’d be in the hills on the other side – I chose left, it turned out it was right, but I soon joined Semen Soars and Chuck Wao at the front. CW makes a habit of taking the dumb trails – I guess he likes the challenge of chasing? After that one check, the rest started falling into place.

We reached the first water crossing – a small leap for mankind – I admit to getting a food wet, but I was too busy goading CW who was not far behind. When I found we had to cross back over the same stream moments later, it was even more fun!

Along a canal, and there was a 2 circle combination that had us foxed for a while. With the canal blocking the hashers, I got lucky and headed out into the rice fields shouting “ONON”. The followers had some trouble picking up the trail – it wasn’t easy. I suspect they might have been following the call, and missed the fairly reasonable route I took following the paper. Either way I inched ahead and after a little “Skiddy Dance” over some bridges (which were all in place when I went through, but apparently Plan destroyed them), I got back to the rice paddies, only to see the rest of the pack in the distance behind me. Muahaha, it was all mine!

Until…. We’d been promised skiddy sticks, and skiddy stick I found… Semen Soars was at least in earshot when I set off along the trail, only to hopelessly get the final circle check wrong. It brought us back together, and although I spotted the paper first, we had to climb over a little hill to get home… Hills like that are CW’s playground, and sure enough he pressed on up and you couldn’t mistake the glee in his voice when he called OnIn!

An absolutely fantastic set – why can’t all hash runs be like that? The circle that followed broke and kept suitable protocols – who cares? It was a blast! And it continued to the OnOnOn – where we learned that Semen Soars shouldn’t be allowed to advise children!