Tag Archives: Horny Monkey

10th November – CSH3 – Square Rooter

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Rating: 9.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Is Square Rooter finally mellowing in his old age? He chose a run site with a great view out over some rolling hills, rather than at the bottom of a steep mountain. With positive comments about the run being passed around in advance, we set off with the returning Horny Monkey picking up the first check.

The 2nd circle had us foxed for a while, the trail continuing across the road and through a blocked gate across the field. Duly delayed the pack was together as we ambled up to the ridge line and along the top. There Square Rooter had invented a brand new check – a circle with trail leading in 2 directions, with one trail just stopping. It was Doesn’t Get It that led us nowhere and later Skiddy that found the true trail. By this time I was half a kilometer away at the bottom of the hill. I made attempts to get back, but in the end skirted up the road and intercepted Skiddy as he came down the trail.

With Poo in hot pursuit we hit some fantastic running trails that we could really open up on. With these trails Square Rooter was really spoiling us! From nowhere Skiddy appeared in front of me at a V check – he’d found some cunning short cut. The trail then took us off in a pointless loop back to a few yards from the check back I’d already seen. Beautiful Box, Unplugged, Sticky Wicket and Big Top were all seen passing through the check back and joining the front pack for a slog up the steep hill where the hare was grinning like a toothless fairy.

HRA took a turn at the front only to get the last check wrong, and it was Sloppy Rod that lead the way (IN FLIP FLOPS FFS) down the stony path back to the A. That was a really, really nice run.

11th August – CSH3 – Humperdick

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Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

We set off towards the football field along the canal road, only to drive past it and weave our way along bumpy roads to a novel run site – so novel that HRA was desperate to plot the co-ordinates so he could return and steal the route again, while many of the female driving hashers were already worried about a dark exit… The perfectionist hare was already busy assisting Turkish with his erection.

Right on cue Sups arrived so we could unload and set off in good time. I careered off, sprinting down the hill, only to get the first check completely wrong and have to pick my way through hashers as we doubled back straight up the hill to where the hare was waiting. Bastard.

We jogged along, and then scrambled through some shiggy and finally intercepted some familiar trails. The pace was ok, with Chuckie, HRA, myself, Unplugged, Horny Monkey and occasionally Turkish taking turns at the front. We climbed up a gentle trail, before plunging down a road – time to open up the legs, only to find a sharp corner at the bottom as the sadistic hare turned and took us back up the hill again. Argh – Chuckie, loving the hills, hit the front and nobody could keep pace with him. We arced back down and surely this would be it? No – there was more pain to come with another climb to get over to the next valley – from the top of this final ascent Turkey’s Erection had the ladies gasping and all charged towards it. As I finally dropped to a walk on the road at the On-In, I was suddenly passed by a pack including Roger D and Big Top! WTF? Where did they come from? Clearly they came straight along the road missing the final climbs. Short Cutting and Sprint Finishing – excellent hash behaviour.

29th July – CH4 – Horny Monkey

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Rating: 6.0/10 (3 votes cast)

Every now and then Horny Monkey’s name crops up on the hareline, and he comes along to set the run, and flirt with the Sunday ladies. Today it was from the government centre and we ran around in circles between the various buildings that make up the complex.

Things began with a parade of cars driving around in circles, waiting for the hare to arrive with some signs and in the end we had verbal directions into the runsite. We were pointed off, in roughly the right direction, and jogged off. At every check Beautiful Box shouted “Yay” and her exuberance rubbed off on me at least, but it seemed like a happy bunch of hashers jogging around in circles.

At one point it was abundantly obvious we were running around a football field (it could go nowhere else), and as I was still recovering from a badly wrong check, I followed Skiddy to the inevitable paper. Later, I lost some ground bringing the skiddy sticks back – perhaps Chuckie does the right thing??? Anyway, I spied the hare on his bike, and took a speedy shortcut back to the front. The run ended in shambles with the trail disappearing around a lake, and the hare was just sat there to say – just run back in. On-In!

The circle was the typical Horny Monkeyness – punishments abounded with HM back in his element. OnOn!

24th July – CH4 Run – Humperdick

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Today Humperdick set the run as his first solo virgin haring – and he has clearly picked a lot up during the time he’s been running as he set a great trail. It was well marked and had a good mix of trail running and shiggy scrambling! The turnout was better and the atmosphere was good and we set off – with plenty of flat ground around, the hare immediately took us up.

After screwing up the first check, His Royal Anus hit the front and successfully chose the right route at the next several checks leaving the rest of us scrambling to get back on terms. Finally we hit a random check back and HRA set off in completely the wrong direction – almost everyone was back together with HRA way behind. Chuck Wao took the lead as we went up the 2nd hill dragging Horny Monkey along behind him until they missed the paper and let Byte My Yahoo and HRA find the trail back down the hill. With HRA back in front he had the choice at the next couple of checks and was going well until Chuck Wao outfoxed him at the end.

Everyone came back to the circle fairly close together, except for Frozen Dick, who we could hear shouting in all directions until he finally came in (on trail). The circle was intimate as is often the case, with Chuck Wao taking on the role of acting, acting, acting Religious Advisor. Throbbing Ninja got plenty of attention – mostly due to her dog management skills. Humperdick had organised a nice cozy On-On at his girlfriend’s place topping of a pleasant evening out. Good work virgin hare!