Tag Archives: Chuck Wao

3rd September – CSH3 – Poo & Shit

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I drove over to Huay Tung Thao for another afternoon run around the track – what would the hares put us through? A rainstorm came through as we were thinking of setting off, which delayed things slightly, but not long before we set off. Up the hill it felt like a regular after work run – nobody else seemed to be running! Around the track, but it did seem like there was paper every 100m or so. A good km into the run finally we broke off the running track and over to a circle check by where the trail runs down to the mountain. The circle check was like an arrow – or was it a double cross? I headed down the trail, and after 120m or so found paper. I called, and jogged on, knowing the next check would be at the bottom of the hill, processing what I knew about the hares and trying to second guess them. Shithouse, a fairly new hare, the obvious choice is towards the lake, and Poo mentioned in the harebrief that it was 8km, which is about the distance around the lake. I turned right, and after 140m or so found paper. I was so close to giving up and turning back – what was going on!?

It’s a great trail – I love running along the bottom of the mountain, and while doing so I started planning the route ahead. Another circle check, and I was fairly sure where it was going (8km ringing in my head!) Sure enough there was paper, across a waterfall and the up the hill. Dang – here it would be so easy to just cut across to the right and rejoin trail, but I’m ahead so I pressed on up a bit. Just past a junction another circle check, but there is no way I am going any higher up this hill! Sure enough I found paper heading back down – I was 100% so far. The perfect hash coming up? Not likely, already weighing down in my mind were the aqueducts….

It’s been a while since I’ve been over those aqueducts… I’ve set many runs over them, and been on many runs over them, and I hate them every time! A balance beam of terror hanging over a plummet to near certain death, or perhaps a nasty scrape. Some are avoidable, but involve a bit of a scramble – and sadly the scramble takes longer than it takes the nimble CW to dance over it. Piggy wasn’t enjoying it either, and he followed me scrambling under for a couple. CW gleefully running away from everyone ahead of us. It turns out Taste My Buns doesn’t like aqueducts either, and she had Turkish escort her over one set like a father escorting his daughter along the aisle to a wedding neither thought was a good idea.

By the time we’d passed the aqueducts it was clear we were going around the lake. By this point I was tired… CW was gamboling away ahead with a rejuvenated Tasty. Looking at my GPS told me that to get back in 8km we had to take the most direct route, and sure enough we did. I got back into the game long enough to check the wrong way into the army base, and lost time trying to get out again (there is more barbed wire than there used to be… – Turkish would agree). I rejoined trail with KO and Sex Pistol, with a long trek back on the tarmac to home. I walked for a while, and finally decided to try and push the last km (it was the 8th km), which I knew was largely downhill, so I broke 6 mins even stopping to tie my shoelace! Back at the A most were already milling around in that post-run stupor.

Nice run guys – if you’d had the circle at the corner and saved us the first and last km, it would have been great!

18th August – CH4 – Mr. Poo

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Mr. Poo is back, and dived straight back into haring responsibilities. Teaming up of course with Knock Out, we headed out to the Sameong Road football field – a site where KO has set many runs that have (to put it politely), not gone to plan. A runsite where the temple steps remain a fear inducing curse, and one where more recently Turkish attempted to do the impossible of a run the other side of the road. The rules of the game are fairly simple, and from here the hares are restricted by the mountains on the other side of the road, and to the north beyond the temple steps. In the other direction is the “rubber” wall, which is now concrete. The chances are the run would be a new mix of familiar trails, but the question is always about the temple steps – none? all? or half? Kwazi made it clear he wasn’t going near the temple steps and I was tempted to join his camp.

We set off, I felt stiff and my knee was aching with every step – damnit, I thought I was over the knee? Being “middle aged” sucks if this is what it feels like. Belly did the usual sprint start, but stopped to take photos (aka catch breath) before the first check. HRA & Obscene raced away to the first check, while I plodded along with CW. What a strange place for a check? Not at a junction – with the river on the left, clearly they didn’t expect us to check there, and surely not into the rice fields on the right. We followed HRA to the only possible place, and sadly, reluctantly towards the temple steps. DAMNIT! However the clues are in the minor details, and that check suggested to me that the hares (having had mistakes here many times before) being over cautious didn’t want us checking too far, and I immediately suspected we would be back on the road behind the temple.

Sure enough we headed to the temple steps, and I tried all tactics – taking two at a time, running up – it’s good cardio right? Just don’t think about the hell you are going through. Finally a circle – it isn’t half way, but somewhere there is a trail off to the left, just where the hell is it? Damnit, I’m ahead, so I should do more stairs. I didn’t think it was right, and sure enough no paper. Back down the stairs and while most hashers lazily looked around like teenagers lazily hunting pokemon, finally Cuckold called On from the trail I had been hoping to see. Excellent! We weren’t going all the way up (that particular mountain). I spread the paper straight off the hill down to the other trail and joined the pack and shortly after there was Kwazi beaming like a guy who had just avoided climbing a few stairs.

Piggy and I ignored his assurances that there was no paper to the left, and went to check left. The rest of the hash is largely a dream… a hash dream… Circle check – Nailed it! Another check? Nailed it! When we went past the quarry I thought I could see some paper in the “gap”, so I saved that for later, and was ready for the hill. I pushed myself up the hill, with Cuckold somewhere behind me. Along the ridge for a bit at the top before back down to the left along an overgrown trail that I’m sure was clearer 6 months back when the hares scouted it. Nailed it again. The descent started and I could see CW, Piggy & Cuckold somewhere back up the hill as the trail switchbacked down – Not everyone followed the switchbacks according to strava!

At the bottom I hit the concrete wall – the rubber has gone now – so it has to be left, and the map in my mind was complete – I wasn’t going to make another mistake, I just focused on keeping a steady pace while I could hear the pack braying behind me – why were their calls so aggressive? I was doing all the work! I was checking every check, and calling every OnOn! And yet they were pushing me onwards as if I could do even better?! To the right along the wall, the checks were appearing as if I’d laid them myself, and the paper perfectly placed for the OnOn call. Another circle and the correct answer had to be left, up towards the “gap”. From here it is around 100m to the corner, so there should be paper as soon as I round the corner… Wait? What? Where is the paper? Shit! It was going so well… Another 20m, and there was paper finally hidden on the back of a tree… Thank fuck for that!

Sure enough it was through the gap, and down into the quarry, across the ricefields, and the hares were waiting for me over the bamboo bridge. For once I crossed it and held on to the OnIn. Excellent run hares, and I promise I didn’t have a map before we started! And best wishes to Belly Dancer and Anything as they start their new adventure (for now) in the UK!

4th August – CH4 – Pigshit & Baaabe

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To my knowledge we hadn’t used the shelter before, but we were within a 100m of another runsite, out behind the canal road football field. Some good trails around here… – what would Piggy put together? We were set off and I was determined to walk for a bit. Immediately a V check – but the trail to the right was too tempting, so I went left. Straight away I could see something stuck to a tree up ahead, but had to get close to see if it was a check back, or a circle – luckily it was a circle, but I promptly got it wrong and had to play catch up down the hill. The checks came thick and fast, keeping us together and the lead rotating – good job hares!

Another few checks and we were trudging up a nice trail towards a great ridgeline and the Runner trail set off that way with the Walker trail heading down again – I do enjoy running that ridgeline trail. We’ve run it from several different runsites – Ob Kham, here, and even from near the quarries 5km along Sameong road. No matter where from, it is a great ridge trail – nice views, and nice gentle undulation. There was some blatant silent running ahead, but then somehow I got ahead, but CW was right on my tail. As we headed closer to the end of the right, I didn’t want to be 2nd to the ‘next check’. Surely everyone would know it was down to the right? Foolishly I gave that away and CW took full advantage. It turned out the hare had put a false trail, and I’d unwittingly given it away. CW, Scooby, Tasty and I headed down the hill, with Scooby & CW trading checks ahead of us like prize fighters. Down, up, around, through, and we were back to where the Walkers met the Runners.

I was back behind Chilly Pussy, a quick glance at my watch said 4km in, so 2-3km still to go, and everything kicked out by the walkers. Ack! The rest of the trail was pulling in walkers one by one. I had a brief chat with Anything as I passed her, and then Does Nothing was quick to point out that we’d passed the OnIn when I caught him so I followed protocol and walked in with him.

Really nice trails, and as Square Rooter put it, a nice combination of familiar trails. Perhaps we need qualifications for those who pick the walker route!

30th July – CSH3 – Belly Dancer

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Rating: 6.0/10 (3 votes cast)

The 1313 run, unlucky for some? What epic nightmares would Belly conjure up for us? After a night at the rustic Cave Lodge, on one of the most uncomfortable beds ever, with barely any sleep, I was probably not best prepared for what was coming. Dodgy guts didn’t help either – I really wasn’t feeling like it! The harebrief required a lot of co-ordination, which just added to the trepidation.

The first bit was perhaps inspired – the irony of 13 water crossings, in honour of 1313 – particularly with our GM’s aversion to getting his feet wet. He dutifully stopped at each to take off his shoes, and socks, and again the otherside to use his towel to dry off before continuing. 13 times was stretching things, and he was a LONG long way behind at the beer stop. So was I though – after staying with the pack for a few checks, I quickly dropped backwards. Shagless joined me, and I think he slowed down to stay with me, as we navigated our way through a quaint little village to the stop.

I very nearly stopped – I just wasn’t feeling it, and although the pack had waited, they set off straight away. I waited with Belly, and another 5-10 mins later CW showed up. We sent him off, and were just heading back to the resort, when I changed my mind and decided to press on. I quickly caught CW up, as he was busily taking his shoes off for another water crossing. We trudged along some concrete paths to the W/R split. Bravely we decided to press on to the Rambo route, and after another KM or so we found the trail leading into a flooded cave. Danger signs all around, this is where we needed the guide, but as he wasn’t waiting for anyone else, he’d already set off. We thought we had heard sounds from up the hill, but couldn’t find paper. No choice but to turn back and do the “Wimp” run – if ever there was an inappropriate name – this was definitely not a WIMP run!

With limited checks it headed up, up, up, up…. Total elevation gain was 545m. This was a hard slog, but CW kindly stayed with me and encouraged me onwards. The checks were kicked out, but we had no way of knowing if people were ahead or behind. To be fair it was all on reasonable trails – I just don’t like the hills, and was feeling really weak. Finally we started descending, but it was slippy some slow going. Up ahead we saw Pamela, Geisha Gash, Wooly Jumper and Doesn’t Get It – seriously? The hares had sent them out on that trail? We caught up with them as we got back to the river. Only there had been a problem. Some of the runners were already back, but as they crossed the river, a dam had burst up stream sending a flash flood down the river – very fast carrying branches etc. We couldn’t cross. Who could have predicted a flash flood? During rainy season? (http://www.nationmultimedia.com/breakingnews/Four-provinces-warned-of-flash-floods-landslide-30291684.html) The nearest bridge was around 1km away, and now we were off paper scrambling to find our own ways home…

Exhausted we made it back, the FRBs from the long trail catching us up, and Scooby kindly bought some drinks at a local shop to help us home. An epic nightmare!

Woke up this morning for the hangover run – 3.5km, with only 1 runner brave enough to set off on another BD challenge!

28th July – CH4 – HRA & Chuck Wao

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The outstation to Pai! CW & HRA had teamed up, apparently with Shagless as well for a run in Pai, and a couple of car loads made our way up to see what they had put together. We arrived with a small amount of time before setting off, and I was feeling distinctly unwell. I should not eat that soon before a run. We set off around a lake, and I was walking. Lucky me, it was Scooby Do that ran into the first false trail, and we scattered looking everywhere but the obvious way – finally ABB called us on, and we nearly completed a whole lap of the lake.

Another check, and the hares were watching us, we tried several routes up the hill, but again it was ABB that found paper, and everyone but Scooby ran back down and followed the trail to another of Pai’s tourist attractions – the “Land Split”, complete with “Dancing Trees”. Not sure what that was about, but when we got up to the road, Scooby had already been checking. It was to the left, and I was still mostly walking, a little jog every now and then, while Scooby charged off into the distance ahead.

I joined TMB & Piggy as we followed, noting at each check the silence from ahead, but the sight of a bright T-shirt running away. We followed – a great trail, had I been feeling better I would have been running harder, but finally Scooby got something wrong, and I’d already spotted the paper off to the right that took us up the hill to the Beer Stop. We’d seen that paper on the way to the runsite, but you never can tell if it is a decoy or not. The hares were waiting, and smiling.

I milled around at the beerstop for a bit waiting while hashers checked the more obvious routes, and then set off to find trail – I did, but promptly got the next one wrong and was left well behind. Lucky for me, from here the checks were good. Get one right and I was at the front, get one wrong and I was way behind – this pack was stuck together. I got one wrong, but looped around, and picked up trail ahead again, only to run into a false trail, and spend a bunch of time checking everywhere but the right way. Again I was punished to the back, but had a good idea where we were now, and with new paper on the road, I figured it was straight On-In. One final circle check, and the rest of the pack thought there would be a sting in the tail.

Very nice run, on some great trails.

25th July – CH3 – Shagless

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A Shagless run from the flatlands in between the Hang Dong Road and the river. This is Skidmark land! Harebrief over, and we set off, with only CW and I making any early efforts. A V-check, and I went left, paper, paper, paper, nothing, nothing, nothing… I hunted around for a check back, but none to be seen – fortunately CW called ONON to the next check, and the checks were coming fast! I love it! Straight back into the mix as everyone was going wrong, but plenty of checks had everyone milling around together. At last I managed to string a sequence together and got a bit of a lead – the trail turned right and arrived at a “bridge”.

A bridge:-
a structure spanning and providing passage over a river, chasm, road, or the like.

I guess that is a fairly loose definition of a bridge… But does a thin piece of bamboo casually dropped across a raging river count as a structure? It certainly spanned the gap, but it didn’t provide passage for this hasher. I put a foot on it, and thought better of it. Ack. So frustrating! I could see a check on the other side, and I could also see paper in the distance to the left… But I couldn’t get over… The clock was ticking, and shortly CW arrived with Sloppy. They politely asked me to get out the way, and danced across the treacherous balance beam. Damnit!!! I tried to find another way… And when I say I tried to find another way, I mean it – It took me around 2.5km, but eventually I found another way across.

Sadly by that time, and by the time I found paper again, I was a long, long, long way behind. Not much later, there was another bridge, that just seemed to have a little too much balance requirement, so again I went back and found a safer crossing. I was sorely tempted to head home, but I also needed the exercise, so I carried on. Eventually I saw Tiptoe, Does Nothing and Bone Smoker ahead, and slowly reeled them in as we crossed the rice fields, but when we hit the road they ignored it and turned left to short cut their way back. It was tempting, but I turned right and pushed myself over more dodgy bridges, and finally made it back to the circle some time after the majority. Good run, if you like that kind of “bridge”!

23rd July – CSH3 – Does Nothing

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Behind the Ag Center – convenient from my office, until they put bloody student games on, and the roads were blocked solid. Damnit – I got there in time to unload beer, get changed, and listen to the hare brief.

We set off, along a familiar direction. An early circle check, and I left CW explaining how checks work to the visitors while I correctly guessed the right way. Around the corner and another check straight away. This time the paper was very close, and confusingly somewhat led us up a scramble, where the hare had clearly scouted thoroughly to find the most prickly trees to go past – the nicer route up was avoided.

I got another few checks right and things were going well as we headed up the hill. Uphill, ack… of course CW would catch me sooner or later, but seemed like we had a bit of a gap as there was a longish stretch without checks. Finally a circle check, and while CW went up, I headed down – always a risk, always best to protect the higher ground. Nonetheless, I headed down, and it didn’t look promising. The trail divided, and on my 3rd attempt I got it, but it seemed I was the only one checking down the hill. 100% record so far, but of course another check. My first instinct was to turn right and go down again, but that was too soon? surely? So I went straight and found nothing.

Back to the circle and CW called it from down the hill where I should have checked. All of a sudden I was in a traffic jam. A tiny trail with Square Rooter leading the way. All forms of politeness were used, and some less polite, but it was as though he was oblivious to his environment! Aaaargh! I’d been running well, and bam! The inevitable check by the waterfall, and from there I picked the main trail back, and popped out just in front of ABB. He seemed confused, but it seemed like a lot of the pack were already back and tucking into so special Carlsberg. Nice run!

Sat 16th July – CSH3 – Chuck Wao

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The GM stepped up to set from the disco shelter… The A-site has changed a bit from its former glory days – now the mattress on the floor stands out from the burnt out shell of other mattresses and piles of trash. At least it didn’t stink, but I’d dread to think what it’s been used for over the past few years. Nonetheless we could get vehicles in, and we set up for the run.

We set off around the crematorium and up the hill. An early False Trail caught me out – having not paid attention to the harebrief, I was familiar with False Trails being marked with an “FT”, not just a bar, even by international standards. Not to worry, we went back and continued on trail, but it wasn’t long before I hit my 2nd false trail after finding paper off a circle. The checks were coming fast and the pack was together, following Sex Pistol up the hill. Everywhere I could have gone wrong I did, but then there was the call of false trail up ahead, and so I threw myself off the side of the hill down a gully to paper.

Not long after I found myself coming back from the wrong way at a V-check. At this point it was about “Hare 6-Byte 0”. A visitor from Spain led the way with Sloppy & I following. A circle in the field, and this one had home team advantage written all over it. I wasn’t thinking of checking anywhere except where Sloppy was headed, and we let the Spaniard head in the wrong direction. From here I could just about plot a map back to the A, and I wasn’t far off. The nice trail running along the bottom of the ridge, with a brief sojourn into the hill to let Piggy take a tumble, and Turkish take a short cut that ultimately didn’t help him. The pace was picking up, and HRA reappeared in the mix. Now I started predicting the false trails and stopped being caught out. A run that started out with me getting everything wrong, ended with me getting it all right, and there was the OnIn, cars and beer…

Sloppy, the Spaniard, Piggy & Cuckold all felt the need to do the run twice. The hare’s intention was to get a 45 minute run, but it is an inexact science. Sometimes it is misjudged and the run ends up a bit longer than intended, sometimes it is a bit shorter, they are all hash runs, and I was quite happy to grab a beer and enjoy my shower.

14th July – CH4 – Chilly Pussy

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Chilly teamed up with Anything to set a run from the left side of canal road. Yup, the left side… I could remember a couple of runs from that area, and the runsite was somewhat familiar. We knew straight away it would be flat. And also it would be wet – it wasn’t raining now, but it had been. It has been raining the kind of rain that signals the start of rice planting season, when the paddies are flooded, and it is better if we stay off them…

The briefest of hare briefs sent us scurrying towards the mud. All different kinds of mud… Squelchy mud, squishy mud, slippery mud, mud hiding at the bottom of puddles, and mud plain to see. The first check, and CW went left, while I took the boys to check straight – if that was 100m, then I missed some paper – I nearly gave up before finally hitting the shredded paper. Another check, and my gut feeling said the run would be clockwise, so I went straight again, and sure enough found paper. I turned back and called ONON, my call drowned in the sounds of a tractor trying to move through a drenched muddy paddy. I could see Piggy continuing to check in the wrong direction, so bellowed until he turned back, before continuing.

Another check, and I thought I had it with an option to turn right, I wasn’t quite right, but did manage to find paper, joint with CW. Cuckold screamed like a girl, and nearly vanished into a sucky mud hole as he tried to cut across from our left. As good hashers our instincts were to rush over and help him, but better judgment quickly took over and we stood and laughed. He dragged himself out, but 5 steps later disappeared up to his neck again – that is one muddy mofo! Screw it, lets hash, and we continued into the rice fields… Yes… Bad hares… There were crops around… :(

A couple more checks, but the pack was still sticking together. Finally I found myself ahead, and a circle check. Surely it was to the right, so I took my time, and surely found the paper. When I did I was ready to run. Looking at the strava records from Terror Byte & 8-Bit, it seems that check probably wasn’t kicked out clearly, as the two boys went the long way around before getting back on paper. Anyway, that was the last check, but there was still 2km gruel to go… I pushed hard, with Piggy & CW chasing, and Cuckold in the mix too. We destroyed some rice crops, and crawled through barbed wire fences, wtf were the hares thinking? Finally we hit solid ground, and I knew we were close to home. I caught CW by surprise as I took off past him – I don’t deny it, I was being a racist bastard. I pushed, but could hear CW & Piggy over my shoulder – I knew they wouldn’t crack, it was just a question of whether I could hold on long enough… That is a question that remains unanswered, the cars were just about (almost) in sight as I gave in, and it would have been a photo finish for the virtual OnIn.

10th July – CSH3- Turkish Delight

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Rating: 9.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Turkish Delight, from near the back of the Ag Center. With all his years of experience I guess he didn’t realise it is rainy season? Normally this time of year the hares pick a nice shelter, and set a run over terrain that suits the conditions! Turkish just goes ahead with what he has… At least now Turkish has the tent, I just wonder why he waited until the rains were torrential before he started putting it up!

The rains weren’t stopping so we were pointed off and I jogged off to immediately hit a V check. I went left, and after a while ran out of paper. I searched for a check back, but there was none. I hunted around for a while, and then headed back only to find the whole pack coming with me. I was unsure, but the rain was persistent, so I went back and tried the other way – it turns out the rest of the pack spent a long time hunting around for paper there before going back, and I got a decent headstart.

Along the road, and up the trail that runs along the wall at the edge of the Ag Center. At the end of the wall a circle check – I love this circle, so many options! With time on my hands, I went back and tried the trail inside the wall, but found nothing. When I got back to the circle Sloppy was also thinking that way, but instead headed up the hill with me. Nothing, so I turned right, and finally spotted paper coming through the trees. Aha! I was On, but not sure if people could hear me. As the rain eased, I bellowed. Trail headed up towards a familiar reservoir, and of course a circle check. I’d already decided which way I was going and checked right across the dam – nothing. 3 checks in, and I’d been wrong 4 times, and was still ahead of the pack – I went up the hill and was wrong again (5), before finding trail back across the other dam to the left. Sloppy came running towards me, utterly confused, before deciding to do his own thing and not to be seen again until the circle.

At the end of the dam, another circle, and I went up the hill, while Sloppy went straight on. Nothing to be seen (6), so I came back down and found some short cutting walkers hanging around. No sound from Sloppy, and not knowing he’d quit the run I checked the way he’d gone (7). Finally I was called back to the circle by the short cutters and followed them around the lake. Back to the front of the pack, and there was HRA – confessing relentlessly about how he’d been short cutting. The trail started hacking its way up a hill – and was confused at one point when trail appeared to go left and up. I went left before the trail ran out (8) and had to hack my way over to the up option where I followed HRA.

Up,up, up, damn I hate these climbs, and in the slippery conditions it was a struggle. Finally a V-check, and HRA picked to go up. Lucky as I fancied down, and sure enough after jogging down a bit I found a circle. Been here before and there are options – another damn good check! I went straight on, up the hill, but the trail fizzled out and I saw no paper (9). The most obvious option was left, so I cut down and found that trail, but no paper (10). Turns out I was very close to where I’d already been checking, but had to climb up again and pick another route. Finally as I got back to that circle I got company and joined with CW and briefly Cuckold. CW and I found paper heading down another trail, that I didn’t remember well – turned out that it only lead to a gully of pain and hatred – no wonder we haven’t been here before. At the end was the hare, looking sheepish… We were 45 mins in, and although there was a V-check, he seemed to warn us that although going right was correct, we might not like it and to “be careful”.

There was another hill. CW was behind me for a while updating me on the health of various hashers – does he expect an answer? Does he not realise my entire body is screaming out through my lungs for me to stop and take a break? I stepped aside and let him go. The ascent was a tough one for this late in the run, and I had been putting my efforts in. A V check at the top, but I was only going to follow CW back down the hill. He wasn’t as convinced as me, so waited for me to join him but as the trail continued we knew we must be on. Slippery is not strong enough an adjective to describe it, and the pair of us gingerly made our way through – looking at the state of hashers following us, it seems most took a faceplant at some point.

Out onto the road, and of course it had to be left back to the A. We were so sure it had to be left, we both went that way, knowing beer was close, but amazingly no paper… (11). WTF?! An extra loop and we were back – CW generously slowing down to let me catch him and jog in together to celebrate my 300th run! WTF Turkish?!? In other conditions that would have been a splendid run – the smiles on peoples faces suggested they enjoyed the slippery mud more than I did! The checks were excellent, even if it didn’t keep us together, it definitely kept me thinking, and kept me getting it wrong!