Tag Archives: Itchy Bitchy

Elevation Gain Criminals!!

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Given that everyone knows I hate hills…. 😉 Since I got the GPS, here are the biggest elevation differences:-

1) 440m – 15th Jan 2012 – The Ball Breaker – Frozen & Humper Dick. OK, it was the Ball Breaker… Once a year, I forgive you!

2) 387m – 29th Dec 2012 – Skid Mark’s Xmas Lanna Run… Remember that bastard hill? At least we had miles of rice fields to recover in!

3) 299m – 25th Feb 2012 – Belly Dancer (& Square Rooter)’s Lanna Run – Evil, evil, evil… Pure evil!

4) 293m – 20th Oct 2012 – Throbbing Ninja – Around half the distance and half the time of those above – Throbbing Ninja welcomed our guests with a truly evil ascent. One of the toughest CSH3’s I can remember.

5) 283m – 22nd September 2012 – Hollow Legs – remember when he dragged us straight up, and couldn’t be bothered to find a way back?

6) 253m – 26th February 2012 – Anything – who could forget when Anything set the run by Doi Kham? Only Humperdick did the full trail… When I got the scout report, the trail should have been 438m elevation change – which would have put it #2 had I not made my way back to lower ground…

7) 246m – 4th March – Itchy Bitchy – If I recall this was the 400th run, which Anything again had a say in… I seem to remember short cutting this and still it reports at 246m elevation gain – is this the GPS reading I stole from BD?

8) 231m – 1st January – Mr. Poo – To shake off the new years day hangovers he chose to not take us up the hill once, but twice. Behind Wat Umong, a memorable run for all the wrong reasons!

9) 214m – 6th October – Cool Balls – The outstation at Khun Yuam… I think this was all on the B->C part of the run!

10) OK, I have my sets stored too… and I can’t avoid it, one of them should make it to this list…:-
? 216 – December 27th – remember the Christmas Spirit run?
? 204 – January 28th – remember across the dam towards Doi Saket?


5th August – CH4 – Alice (with Frozen Dick)

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Apologies readers for the tardiness of my write up – it has been suggested that I am too ashamed to confess my endeavours on the run, but that isn’t the reason for delay! Anyway, my status as the World’s most Intelligent hasher, was ripped from my shoulders by Dogshit and Frozen Dick, while Square Rooter listed it as the stupidest short cut in hash history – while he pulled up a ringside seat!

Lets begin at the start – being joined in the car for the ride by Itchy Bitchy and Fish and Tits… After picking them up, I was treated to a constant barrage of conversation. As Fish & Tits only showers once a month they then started exchanging deodrants and I was quickly overcome by noxious fumes. I stopped for gas, and as soon as I paused the two ladies dived out and charged to the store to buy snacks, Mama, ice-cream and more. The runsite was probably closer to Chiang Rai than Chiang Mai, so it was a relief to finally arrive and give my ears a break! 😉 A really nice runsite, but a bit far out of town…

The out-trail was a gentle down hill trail, where I could really open up and stretch my legs. In no time I was off the front, only to turn a corner and run straight past some skiddy sticks. Heading back, through confused hashers, I found the true trail some way back down the path. HRA had meanwhile charged off in the wrong direction laughing to himself about my folly. The next circle was straight on, so me and Chuckie cruised away from the pack, until we were hit by another set of blasted Skiddy Sticks – “MOTHER FUCKER!”. Still my luck was holding and it was me that found the true trail there and for the next couple of circles… Until we got to the lake.

The trail had been great, we were gently arcing around to the left and we hit a lake with the trail running alongside it. I’d stopped thinking about potential false trails, as CW was gossiping away in my ear about the state of the economy, his latest exploits, or some such story. A circle check on the side of the lake, and it was my ‘duty’ to check straight on. Which I did, making my way around the bank of the lake – scrambling down a bank and climbing around marshes – only for the trail to be called behind me, back across the other side of the lake. DAMN you blasted hares. At this point, should I go back, or I could go on around the lake? As the trail was ‘SURE’ to continue arcing left, I decided to go on around the lake and gradually found myself getting into marshier terrain until eventually it was impassable without swimming. DS & SR shouted abuse at me, and I eventually had to turn back and sheepishly make my way back to the A site.

Lovely trail – you assholes!