11th Feb – CH3 – Humperdick

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Rating: 7.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Exhaustion… 2 brutal runs by Skiddy, (inspired by Belly & Square Rooter), over the weekend coupled with an epic afternoon drinking session (inspired by Gascoigne & Big Top) had me feeling worse for wear over my coffee this morning. Nonetheless I made it to work, and my hangover had the common decency to kick in right about the time my class was due to start. Bugger – there could only be one cure for it, so I set off to the hash.

Humperdick Humperdick Humperdick – couldn’t be too bad right? He hasn’t really built a reputation for runs (yet). I mean – apart from them being on canal road. I’m not entirely sure what his style is, but he does put in effort, so I was hopeful he’d be kind and gentle….

We were pointed off and Belly Dancer did his usual olympic sprinter start. My brain told my legs to run, and my legs told my brain to fuck off. This wasn’t going to be pleasant. At the first check Belly went off to the right, and I found the paper straight on. Normally at this point it’s the end of Belly’s charge and we meet him back at the circle for a beer, but not today. Today he’d roided up and was on a mission. He stormed ahead while I fucked up at the first Skiddy check. He was 100m ahead of everyone till he came to a small decline that was about 3 steps down, and by the time he’d crossed it, he was 100m behind. Seriously? Even Horny Monkey passed him!

Into the hills we went and there was a part that confused everyone. Horny Monkey did one route, while Angry Inch, Graven and I did another – neither was right, and when the EVIL MOFO HARE described later what he actually wanted us to do, I was glad about the ‘compromise’ we’d come to. Compromise? Short Cut? Who cares?

The trail started climbing… Who am I kidding? There was no fucking trail… We scrambled over shiggy crap with leaves covering rocks tripping our way over the hill – a familiar trail – I didn’t enjoy it the first time we’d done it… Finally we got out to the guys yard, and he proudly pointed out the paper on his bushes… We meet random people out on trail, but it’s nice when they are happy for us to run through their gardens! I sprinted past GI & AI, and immediately regretted it, taking the wrong option at the gate.

Damn… I tried to run… but my legs resisted… It took some determined self restraint to set off following the paper rather than just shortcutting back to the beer, but I managed. Hardly any more checks, just another 3km or so around and back to the A. At least this bit was flat. I finally got back some 10 minutes or so after the FRBs, but it was a long time before Frozen Dick dragged in the stragglers; Slippery When Wet, Fishy Fingers and Tip Toe.

Sups had thought better of the whole affair and done a “Festering Tool”.

11th Feb - CH3 - Humperdick, 7.5 out of 10 based on 2 ratings