Category Archives: Blog

CSH3 Hangover Run – Skid Mark

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Skiddy & Bone Hur got up bright and early to set us a hangover run – and man what a hangover…  I thought drinking with Dead Virgin might have been a mistake, but it was Geisha Gash, Unplugged & Maow who did the damage with their wine etc…  I was feeling destroyed when I w0ke up this morning and found my fridge empty!

Skid Mark must have understood my feelings and set a hangover run that was just about right.  At the first circle the question was is he arcing us left or right – Right looked ominous into the mountains, while left seemed a friendly option – left it was, down the hill, back up the steep hill and it was back to the circle.  What next?  Well it’s clearly the time to start drinking, afterall it’s 5 o’clock somewhere!

A short circle is a good circle – it gave us just the right amount of time to recap the outstation’s key moments – significantly Belly Dancer’s trip in the bathroom and the blood that poured from the back of his head.   It was a good outstation with a good group of people, nicely chilled after recent hashing disagreements. Finally getting to meet Bow Wow and Head Hacker was a highlight for me – particularly Bow Wow demonstrating how to clean herself properly!

2nd July – CSH3 – Outstation Run – Skid Mark

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Skid Mark and Bone Hur put their heads together to set the run out at the Insda Resort out towards Sameong.  When I drove up to the resort my heart jumped as in all directions there were just sheer cliff like mountains – “this isn’t going to be a flat run…” And given the impossible terrain one immediately wondered how on earth the hares had found any kind of a run out here – the days of scouting must have paid off though as they did a great job of finding a great trail…

Junglicious hit the front and bounded up the hill away from the pack and quickly ran straight through a set of Skiddy Sticks that had everyone back together very quickly – Thanks for the beer guys – just what I needed!  The next circle check was a genius – a hidden path from the other side of a creek – On-On and the trail went up up up – a great view of hashers straggling along the valley to the trail above.

We finally hit the ‘top’ and headed down on slippery mudslide slopes where only Chuck Wao could find a way to run without landing on his ass – more crash awards than any other run in history!  And then we hit road, finally we could run without fear of falling and run I did…  The only thing I missed was paper and ended up running a long way in the wrong direction.  Finally home and after a long wait Belly Dancer came back and we could start the circle.

A large turnout meant circle management was tricky and there were more Yacker Splashes than any other. Fun stuff – now On-On to the food! 😀

CH4 & CBH3 – Bone Collector & His Royal Anus

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It was decided that the CH4 would run with the bunnies today…  With a couple missing in Phuket and the election causing problems for the On-On, the hares conspired to save energies and combine the two hashes – an interesting decision, which certainly brought more runners to both runs. The Bunnies were very welcoming and things transpired fairly smoothly.

The hare brief was particularly brief with Bone Collector simply pointing towards the gates of Chez Swallow and saying “That Way”.  Even that seemed fairly redundant as there was only one way out of the property.  And so it is, we were off.  S&M Girl was on fire – she couldn’t get a check wrong and was holding the bunnies end up on her own! A recovering Mr. Poo joined Skid Mark, Bone Hur, Green Pussy and Byte My Yahoo in the mix as the trail zig zagged confusingly and just went on and on through rice fields, orchards – all the while being wet and slippery underfoot.

It seems HRA hasn’t learnt anything.  Yesterday he got grief for an extended run with me that led the normally mild mannered Miss Piggy to exhaustion.  Today he promised a 5km run – but the GPS doesn’t lie and the shortest result was around 7km.  No wonder it took us an hour to finish – with Bone Hur breathing down my neck along a very long road finish.

Interestingly nobody saw Chuck Wao all run! Rumours were spreading about him taking extended loops to avoid the water, or perhaps he’d had a problem?  Nope – he conspired with Jungle Chim and Frozen Dick to fulfil ‘when in Bunny Land, do a Bunny’.  While none of the Bunnies were willing, the 3 musketeers walked around, chatted about the weather, and even stopped to buy beer at one of the supposedly closed corner shops.  Sadly, they forgot to shortcut – the ultimate sign of a Bunny! 😉

No offence intended to the bunnies, they were very welcoming and even let Mr. Poo have his ego boost with some of the circle. I wonder how the men would react if someone suggested combining a run with the bunnies?  Perhaps we should learn from the bunnies and be open to changing traditions?  But then again, perhaps there are good reasons different groups run separately – back to CH4 next week!

25th June – CSH3 – Byte My Yahoo

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Well, it rained…  It started raining mid afternoon, and it’s still raining now…  The hashers that did brave the rain then faced the run I and HRA had laid in the morning.  Of course I could say it was the best run ever, but I should probably report the feedback from the runners – concisely ‘a good run, but too far!’.  Just as well the days are long at the moment as triathlete Jake was the first man home in just over 1 hour.

The run set off flirting with the steep mountain, but quickly cut back and stayed mostly on trails.  It then headed towards familiar ground between a couple of lakes. Watching from there it was interesting to see how confusing it was for the hashers – rechecking trails that had already been kicked out. Chuck Wao was complaining as the trails turned to slush in the rain – completely different from when we set it hours before. Miss Piggy was really upset with the length and duly punished the hares – She wasn’t DFL though and did make it back in daylight! Sorry Miss Piggy!

 

21st June – CH3 – Skid Mark

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Skid Mark was today’s hare, and he spent the past few days highlighting the closeness of the Ping River – could be interesting.  I was late showing up, but they didn’t wait for me, so only Skid Mark & Horny Monkey (allegedly injured) were there with Lung La waiting for the off.  Wondering if I would see the pack again, those fears were shortlived as less than 100m into the run I came up to Frozen Dick!  It turned out that while they didn’t wait for me at the start, everyone waited at the first circle check.  Chuck Wao had been to find the On-In, Green Pussy seemed to be running off in all directions, and HRA had clearly twice ran past paper distracting everyone away from the trail.

One check down and we were jogging along the bank of a small canal.  With some inside information I let HRA set the pace, only for him to come up to some Skiddy Sticks – False Trail!  It was back along the path to the obvious trail that headed out into the rice fields. Chuck Wao was thwarted by the floods while Square Rooter and Jungle Chim took a dip in a deep irrigation ditch.

Everyone stayed pretty close together, mostly due to some well placed Skiddy Sticks – HRA again getting caught with Bone Hur in place to get us back on track. The final set of skiddy sticks caught me in a deep ugly hole with nowhere to go. Back out to the obvious trail heading towards the obvious 15 storey derelict building chosen as the A site.  Plenty of shiggy on the On-In, and another water hazard to cross – ironic giving the proximity to Green Valley Golf Course.

19th June – CH4 – Junglicious

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So it was time for Junglicious’ virgin run and we were all wondering what goes through her head! She chose Huay Tung Thao – a common runsite, and one thats particularly common with virgin hares – close to town and relatively easy to set a good run. So what do we know about Junglicious? She’s a hell of a runner, and she runs up hills like they don’t exist!  From the far side of Huay Tung Thao, the mountain is surely going to feature…

A good turn out set off on a fun start – a rope climb, a bamboo bridge, and Belly Dancer was already wishing he hadn’t come. Bizarrely the run had barely begun. A good circle check sent me the wrong way, and some strange calling by Mr. Poo sent me further the wrong way until I found myself scrambling across shiggy and a waterfall to rejoin Hollow Legs & Miss Hollow Legs as the mountain began.

Later in the circle, the irony of Belly Dancer criticising the hill was lost on nobody – it went up and up. And just when we thought we hit the top, they found a little bit more up. S&M girl and Chuck Wao were out front, and they took turns in going the wrong way and letting the pack catch up – in fact Chuck Wao deliberately went the wrong way on more than one occasion.

Finally we descended and well the descent was about half as far as the ascent, so logically we can’t have arrived on the same plane as the cars, but strangely they were there. The beer was flowing, but we had to wait for Frozen Dick before the circle began – not surprising as it was a tough run.

14th June – CUMH3 – Frozen Dick

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Upon getting directions for the ‘Tiger’s Mouth’ in Mae Jo – I wasnt sure what to expect from the pairing of Frozen Dick and HRA – the rule about not having a run more than 1 hour for the songtheow is indeed a good one and after driving nearly 40km from my house to the run – I’m looking forward to the CSH3 outstation ~15km from my house! Fortunately I found myself driving behind Skid Mark – as with out his familiarity with the location – and the hares economical use of signage – would have meant me getting very lost!
So with a pack of 8 (including hares) – we were given a hare brief about running on shredded paper (not powder) – we were told the run was ~6km and sent on our way – all six of us. I decided to try a bit of FRB with Suckit and Honey Monkey on my tail – but the first circle check led me to a double (powder and paper) bar – hummm – not such a  good start. Suckit got lucky and I never saw him again, so Dead Virgin who had just got off the plane and I attempted to keep up with a very luminescent Skid Mark and Horny Monkey. Between Dead Virgin’s worshiping the natural flora and fuana – we lost sight of the FRB’s and somehow Kwazi too – who was trailing us, so we were left to enjoy what was in fact a remarkably good run – with nice trails and some enormous checks.

The scenary and trails were very good and its a pity its so far out of town as would be a good location for runs – even some evil looking hills which I did get a little excited about. One circle check near the end of the run in powder did fox Dead Virgin and Belly Dancer – obeying the instructions to ignore powder – and the FRB’s not kicking it out – did give Dead Virgin another chance to commune with nature – but was close enough to the laager to not fool us too long. The run turned out to be ~ 4.5km but enjoyable enough.

Being a modest pack – there was piles of beer – Tiger beer (Pamala) – no choice but at huge expense and efforts of the hares – the circle went on … and on  … so much so that Kwazi gave an epic performance and hope to see more of this … the move from big bike to big truck has worked wonders! After 2 hours of beer consuption – we headed into town to hunt down Chuck Wao just returned from a spiritual trip to Pattaya. Needless to say Dead Virgin got into his religeous grove again and some point even Hole Plugger appeared!

Thanks hares – more of the same please – but hopefully not quite so close to Myanmar!!

12 June – Sleeps on it

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A virgin pairing of Sleeps on it and her new husband set the run out close to Doi Saket village. Getting to the site was well marked and there was clearly no sign indicating you should turn right at the traffic lights in Doi Saket – unfortunately half the hashers proved their general incompetence and promptly got lost – not a good start!

The run site was a pagoda on a peninsula in the middle of a lake – nice run site! The hare brief was brief, but indicated that the wind may have blown away the trail and something about not going through someones property even though they had agreed for us to go through their gardens…  Apparently the lady in question had very large breasts, which accounted for one of Skid Mark’s falls and apparently explained why Kwazi Moto was late getting back to the circle.

The run had a lot of shiggy, scrambling along ‘trails’ across the side of a hill for a long way before we could hit the flats.  But then they found a trail that was protected by a strange lady telling us not to go that way. It turned out the paper was there, and ‘John’ the co-hare had hacked his own way through the jungle to create a ‘trail’ especially for us. Who really cares about the stickers and crap that ripped our legs to pieces?

The highlight (for the hares) was the On-In placed about 200m from the pagoda, on the wrong side of the lake. Most hashers were forced to run about 3km further to get around the lake, while only Byte My Yahoo was clever enough to just swim across to the waiting beers. It was good to have SuckIt back to run the circle – at least some semblance of organisation! On the whole a well laid trail with plenty of tricks that kept a big group together even to the end.

June 11th – Bone Hur’s Run

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I’m not saying Bone Hur lacks originality, but he has a habit of repetition! I remember running the same loop from his house a couple of times, until he started looking for new areas. He set a truly terrible run from the football field before he found a nice little spot and a great run – which he set for a male hash. Feeling boosted by the compliments he got for that run – he decided to set EXACTLY the same run again for the mixed hash!

OK, so it wasn’t quite the same – last time he set a great circle check that foxed almost all the FRBs – this time he put in a V check instead which foxed no-one! The other difference was that the A site was about 400yards further down the road.

For me, I guessed early on that he was  recycling the great run he set before, which made all the checking a lot easier! HRA’s memory isn’t quite what it used to be so he spent some time relooking for trails and so I didn’t really see anyone through the run.  It would have been the perfect run for me if I wasn’t a complete idiot and checked the wrong way on a V check – the same V check I checked wrongly last time.  What an idiot!

The circle was the Horny Monkey show with attention given to his new young ladies – where does he get them from?

6th June – Mr Poo?

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Today’s CH3 hash run was always going to be overlooked by the politics flying around the hash. Should we carry on the 30 year tradition of running on Mondays? Or should we cater to tired legs and move the hash to Tuesdays. Emotions were flying high and when the circle came it led to tough decisions.

First up though, we ran! After Suck-It rejected the GM-ship, Mr. Poo and Kwazi Moto stepped in and took over as joint GMs and by tradition they set the take over run – at Wat Umong. Despite this being a Mr. Poo favourite, I’d not hashed there before. I am kind of surprised we don’t hash there more often as there were some amazing trails – beautiful hashing area with some well set trails from our new GMs.

It appears my virgin status in the area cost me as Chuck Wao knew clearly about a well placed circle check that double backed from the top of a cliff. From there the circle checks were easily guessable, with a gentle up hill and a steep downhill – going down Horny Monkey, HRA and Greasy Gorilla struggled with their confidence, but it was Chuck Wao that screwed everyone at the end failing to spot the paper after the last circle and leading us back up a hill.

And so, back to the circle. A difficult situation that wasn’t going to be easy to manage. There are strong emotions for the tradition of Monday male hashing, and equally compelling reasons to move to Tuesday to give bodies a break. The vote was close 11-10 in favour of Tuesdays. A larger margin may have made the evening more comfortable, but the close decision was hard on the traditionalists with Liberace, Pasty Legs(?), Dyke Converter and Greasy Gorilla voting with their legs and walking out.  They missed out on some great pizzas, but then again perhaps the hash cash left with them…

At the end of the evening, I wasn’t sure how I felt, but it certainly didn’t feel like the great new beginning some of us were hoping for. Lets see how coming weeks play out – I’m looking forward to a day off in our running schedule!