Tag Archives: Useless Piece of Shit

31st March – CH3 – Belly Dancer

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Short Version:-

“Nobody died, so it can’t have been that bad…” (Anon)

Long Version:-

Belly is back! (With a vengeance?) 3rd day running in hot temperatures, and we were off for a 5:30 start… Surely he’d given up on the idea of the 9.99km for the 999 run? Apparently not – an hour of daylight would be fine for a 10k run! We skeptically set off, letting Brownie run ahead to do some checking for us. We promptly got a V check, and promptly got confused with Brownie going one way, Baldrick going the other. We didn’t know which way to go, but they both ended up at the same place, so we went that way, and found a circle check. Most went down the road, but I cut through an orchard and found another V check. I went right, and people called check back to the left moments before I hit a check back to the right. Muchos confusion, but I made my way across to the other trail and continued – nervously…. Another V check, and I was tempted to head to the left, but the trail straight on looked good enough, so I carried on. Paper dangling from trees to the left so I carried on, paying little attention to a blob of powder off the trail to the right – it might have been a check back, but the trail was clearly marked up ahead. Turkish and Brownie followed me and the trail turned terribly up, scrambling up a ridge. “This has ruined my day” I heard behind, and slowly crept my way over leaf covered rocks with no clues where to put my feet. Still we are on trail, so why was nobody following us???

It turned out that was a dummy trail, that wasn’t supposed to be part of the real trail. When we finally got back down we were way behind. Turkey screamed “Don’t leave me!” as Brownie and I set off in pursuit. After some distance we finally reined in Frozen Dick. Yup – Sups was still a long way ahead of us… Thats what happens when you follow trail I guess… Anyway, we got up to the lake, and came to a mutual decision that we would just go for a jog around the lake and back. I estimated about 7k, and we could just about manage it in daylight, so why not? We saw some paper going up the hill to the right, but kept going on our plan. Sooner or later we got some more paper, jogging along having a pleasant conversation.

Amazingly out of the blue ahead of us we heard shouts, and then Horny Monkey shot out of the trees, presumably coming back from checking the wrong way. Apparently we were back on a hash! Brownie was itching to go, and I felt like a dog owner walking his dog through a field of rabbits. Brownie looking longingly into my eyes until I gave him the nod to go on the chase. He did, and I carried on my plan to jog around the lake.

The trail went up a hill straight on, while the road went around to the left, so I continued my plan to jog around the lake, unaware that hashers were checking in the area, until Graven came running up alongside me, and we spotted paper. Interesting, somehow I’d become FRB! What should I do? A bit knackered from the weekend, plus the extra mountain, I should probably just continue around the lake. The trail cut off to the right into the trees, but we could see the paper about 10m to the right all the way along the road. Graven and I kept going and sooner or later the trail came back onto the road. Finally we could call On-On, and the pack were some way in the distance behind us.

The trail cut off to the left, towards the lake, but it had to rejoin the road sooner or later, so of course we carried on (I was still just heading around the lake). Brown Finger caught up with Graven and I and started pushing the pace along. Powder crossed the road from the left into the forest to our right. We paused. They were reluctant, but I remembered the trail was quite nice between the hills and back onto the mud roads the other side of the hill. Brownie and Gravy took off like rabbits being chased by dogs. I considered my options. I couldn’t keep up with the pair of them. I was on my own. It wouldn’t be daylight much longer. I’d already done quite a distance. It was 47minutes already. I wavered, and then chose to head back down to the A. Pretty quickly I was back on paper! wtf? There was paper everywhere!

I clocked up about 7k, which was enough for me. Not the 9.99, but at least I am alive! All in all the run was good – and I mean the run that was set by the hares was good, rather than the run I did… Only, it could have been a bit clearer and 1 particular place… Beer in hand, it’s time for the circle….

I think Skiddy did a good job, but to be fair I have no idea what was going on… It seemed to flow though…. If I don’t understand a splash, I normally assume it was the fault of the person giving the splash… But when it happens again and again, I start to wonder if my own mind is getting twisted up. I sat on the ice “You fuckers”, and I was off again. I hardly had time to quietly ask Chuckie why I had been there before he asked me why he was there. Sometimes lacking sense makes sense, and at least we got a “Useless Piece of Shit”.