26th October – CH3 – Adorable Blue Balls Bangkok Outstation

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Jungle Run in the Heart of Bangkok. CH3 Outstation. 26th October 2015

“Bangkok, Oriental setting…
And the city don’t know what the city is getting.”

Does now. The Chiang Mai Male Hash Team is in The Big Mango. I joined up with a sorry looking and discombobulated crew of hashers on the morning of the hash. The meetup point for the run was changed several times during the day to keep everyone on their toes but by 3.30 we were off. Taxi first to the Chao Phraya and then longboat across to the A bucket where The Hare and Co-hare Drunken Donut were waiting for us. So far so smooth. With all of the spectacular views you expect of downtown BKK.

After a meet and greet and short hare brief and saunter to the first check the runners were away into the Jungle — known to the locals as Bang Kra Jao. This was dense tangled vegetation. And eerie. Keen alertness was needed to stay on. Many interesting obstacles lined the way. Log bridges both big and small a main feature. This hasher was too cavalier and fell at the first hurdle. Up to my neck in the primordial ooze I had to be sucked out by Mr Poo and Pigshit. Good job boys. On on. Further along the Hare took us through a small wooden house. And I do mean through. Here was man quietly enjoying his supper and catching up on a little TV when I blundered through. Question: why was this not a beer stop? Very friendly chap.

The circle was a lot of fun. Our hosts were Julian 1 and Julian 2 (Pickled Testicles?). Much beer was consumed. A novel feature was a large bucket filled with uncrushed ice to sit on. It was long time before we noticed two members of our party were missing: Sticky Wicket and Poo Senior. Our GM seemed unconcerned and said “Bangkok has them now…”

A great run. Well organized. Not quite as squelchy as I had anticipated. All to do with the tides and moon I think. And thank you Hare for not mentioning that Bang Kra Jao is the natural habitat for the deadly venomous Monocled Cobra until we were safely returned to Chiang Mai.

This writer is a stranger to hyperbole but I don’t thing any jungle anywhere has hosted such a magnificent sporting event since Ali beat Foreman in The Rumble in the Jungle back in ’74.

Great job GM and Hare ABB and our Big Mango friends.