Category Archives: Blog

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The venue was Dyke’s house, and as I drove around the town, the heaven’s opened and I feared another wash out run. Fortunately the rains stayed off and the run was ok – just needing to move the circle into Dyke’s fitness room – finally it gets used! The hare brief started with the claim it was a short run, and it was – around 4.3km.

We set off along the road, but before long we were on familiar ground moving towards the hills. The early circle checks could have gone anywhere so early on the pack was stuck together. Eventually though, the ‘Dykie Checks’ came into play, but they were telegraphed to some extent, and while Chuck Wao disappeared in the wrong direction, myself and Junglicious managed to run straight through a couple of checks and break away from the pack.

Back down the hill we ran into the trail from yesterday, but only for a couple of hundred metres. Junglicious kept me on track as we maintained a gap ahead of Chuckie, HRA and Skiddy. Towards the back Frozen Dick had company for once, as Betty, Jungle Chim’s Mom, joined us for the day. The Jungle family was in force, but the circle may have been an experience too far as they didn’t make it to the On-On.

4th June – Big Top’s Run

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I haven’t been on a Big Top run before, so I wasn’t sure what to expect when I set off – following the directions to the disco hut – only the signs took us straight past the disco hut and along to the football field – why did we go that way rather than along the canal? Was it cunning haring trickery or was it just the scenic route?

We were due to have a mini outstation, but this was just a regular run, but it pulled quite a few of irregular hashers out of the woodwork – a return for the aptly named ‘Once a Year’ as well as several others. We set off with Snail Trail sniffing the way around the running track.

The pace was quick at the front and it wasn’t long before a group of 6 broke away from the rest and worked well together to deal with the checks extending a lead. The virgin Jake was a serious runner brought along simply to toy with Chuck Wao’s competitive spirit and the On-In was long enough to let them really test each other – as Chuckie put it – the young buck won, but Chuckie had numerous excuses lined up – Belly Dancer forcing him to drink all night, diarrhea, and no doubt several other dodgy excuses – we stopped listening.

 

CUMH3 – Suckit’s Run

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Suckit is generally known as a good hare, and today was no exception. His reputation drew a reasonable crowd to the Chiangmai Underground Male Hash (CUMH3) for their memorable 400th run. For a change Suckit had us drive around the back of the mountain to attack his usual area from the other side.  He did warn us that we may run into old paper from the last run he set there, but as always it just seemed like a complete maze to me!

As we set off it seemed like Suckit had set the dogs loose and followed them  with orange postits and powder – and before setting off he’d fed them some weird drug to make them explore the area in completely random tangents. I couldn’t figure out where we were heading, so a couple of checks completely confused us. Bizarrely (or maybe not) towards the end of the run we came running up behind Screwed Up who appeared to be guarding a circle while Frozen Dick, Belly Dancer and Superman set off to look for paper…????  We all know Superman is the master short cutter, but had he really led the rest astray?

The rest of the FRBs also charged off looking for paper in completely the wrong direction – afterall we were all completely disoriented! Had Graven Image been there, his GPS would have kicked in, but instead it was Greasy Gorilla who spotted a trail in a ‘Dykie’ check – back the way we’d come. Many hashers were caught the wrong side of a ravine, which left HRA and Chuck Wao some running to catch up. Both HRA and Chuck Wao (along with Horny Monkey) were spotted short cutting a little loop – the racist basturds! As it happened they ran the wrong way at the On-In and rightly came in behind Greasy.

The circle was concise and fun rounding off a good weekend of hashing – time to let these legs rest up until Saturday!

29th May – Belly Dancer & Skid Mark

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Today was the CH4 300th run (or there abouts depending who’s maths you believe!). For some inexplicable reason the combination of Belly Dancer and Skid Mark was chosen to set the trail for the memorable occasion…  On the one hand, it’s true that most of their runs are memorable, but on the other hand they are normally remembered for the wrong reasons!!!  So what would the pair concoct together? Belly Dancer with his love of steep hills, and Skid Mark with his love of water – how could they find a location to satisfy both of their sick sadistic lusts?

The Sankampaeng new road was the answer and a spot that I’ve only hashed once before. Given that it was the 300th run, we attracted a good turn out, including some Saturday regulars – which was great to see. The hares were licking their lips, and giggling gleefully – and I did manage to predict the torture they had in store for us, but they weren’t giving anything away.

The hare brief wasn’t brief…  Remember hasher’s aren’t that smart! Giving more info than usual just confused us! With climbing axes and brooms handed out, we set off anxiously with only one thing for sure – the next hour would be tough, but we wouldn’t forget it quickly. A prediction that held true.

The trail set off towards some rice fields, but rather than touch the paddies, we immediately found some disgusting, stinking, pig waste to trek through. Along the edge of the paddies we quickly found the “Wimp/Rambo” or “Skid Mark/Belly Dancer” split. Belly Dancer it was – promised to be longer and tougher. It seemed most people didn’t pay attention to the hare brief so, myself, S&M Girl and Suck It spent our time collecting special markers for free t-shirts – result! A great ‘Skiddy sticks’ check pulled us all back together and then it was time for the obvious hill – we dreaded it, but it was inevitable.

At the top of the hill the trails rejoined and the walkers were already ahead of us. Downhill was tough to run with a rocky trail, so when we hit the canal the other side of the hill the pack was back together. As we jogged along the edge of the canal, the finish was inevitable….  And Belly Dancer was stood atop of the ‘tunnel’ to make sure some of us completed the ‘Rambo shortcut’. A 500m tunnel to crawl through – waist deep in the shittiest, stinking scum imaginable – fortunately it was pitch black so we couldn’t see what was surely floating past us. The only thing sicker was the size of Skid Mark’s grin as he waited for us at the end of the tunnel, camera in hand.

Seriously though, it was a well marked, and well thought out run. Everybody got home safely, and there was a lot of fun to be had. So a great job hares – this is why we hash!

28th May – Swallow

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“Swallow”, aka Square Rooter, set the run from the reservoir at the 700 year stadium, so with the mountain looming behind, we all expected a typical Square Rooter – an evil climb straight up and down… But, for whatever reason, Swallow managed to keep Square Rooter under control and together they set a pleasant, fun run.

The trail set off flat with some good checks scattering the pack, but sticking with the trail so there was no shiggy to deal with. It was the usual suspects at the front with Byte My Yahoo, His Royal Anus, Horny Monkey and Marcus taking turns. Horny Monkey couldn’t get anything right, while BMY and HRA couldn’t stop finding the paper. The hare teased us with a little bit of uphill, only to go straight back down again and follow the trail along the edge of the water. The On-In indicated we should swim for it across the lake, but nobody fell for that – leaving the usual long finish across the dam wall and around to the cars. It’s punishing, but wasn’t far enough for HRA to chase down BMY & Marcus.

Mr. Poo walked around, arm in sling, recovering from his op – don’t tell his work as he’s on sick leave for 2 weeks! The circle turned briefly into a doctor’s surgery with hashers comparing bee, wasp & hornet stings.

23rd May – Suckit

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The end of Dyke Converter’s reign as GM, and the start of a new era under Suckit! The new GM set a run in his backyard – an area he knows so well, but is very disorienting for us hashers. The A site was steeped in history – and Liberace gave me a brief run down of previous AGFUs in the same spot before the other hashers arrived. Thankfully it didn’t go down in quite the same way this time.

We set off over the small hill and into the jungle. Here the paths criss cross, weave in and out, up and down, with small trails, large trails and then the odd bit of shiggy to cross between paths. Suckit is an excellent hare, but setting runs in this area is easy – there are so many choices and it didn’t take long before we were all confused.

Hollow Legs screwed a few of us up – myself and Greasy – by stumbling out of the woods while we were checking for a circle – he claimed to be on paper, but clearly wasn’t. It seemed like most of the pack short cutted – which is surely dangerous in that area – I wouldn’t know which way to go! Superman arrived late and didn’t bother, Mr. Poo arrived late and ran it all on his own – scaring Frozen Dick and Screwed Up as he caught them up.

A good turn out to make sure that Dyke Converter does stand down as GM! 😉

22nd May – Kwazi Moto

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Kwazi chose a familiar spot for his run – a few km behind the Ag centre. With most of the FRBs gone to Monkey Hash etc. I was pleased to see Greased Gorilla and Suck It come to help with the checking – as it happened for the early stages Junglicious and Itchy Bitchy were flying as well and we had a good pack. But between good checking and good running, the pack spread out across the mountain.

It was a case of going up, across and back down – but this time we seemed to be going up the way we’ve come down before. Kwazi avoided the beautiful waterfall by going over the top of it, but soon we were on familiar trails again. The crunch point came at the top of a hill with a clever circle check. With Greasy and Suck It checking in the wrong direction, I recognised the spot and remembered a hidden trail that Kwazi had used before in the other direction – from then on it was back to the water and down the way he’d brought us up before. “On-On” and run. Greasy closed me down towards the end, but I managed to hold on.

A good well set run, but Kwazi said at the On-On-On that he would choose somewhere new next time – perhaps we are getting too familiar with the area – especially since Frozen Dick started setting out there too. While Mr. Poo was absent, Suckit was back to take on his RA responsibilities and the circle was fast and intimate. A pleasant Sunday evening out!

21st May – Dick Tracy’s Run

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Dick Tracy set the run very close to the city – from the back of a housing estate opposite the Lanna Golf Course. Before we set off most people were wondering how anyone could set a run in that area – very few known trails and being enclosed by the Maerim Road and the Ping River meant there couldn’t be much space for a run. When the co-hare suggested we should bring spare clothes, the ominous Ping River was on everyone’s mind – surely not?

We set off across a field and into a construction yard where some workers were just clocking off with bemused expressions on their faces as a bunch of hashers trundled straight through them! We hit the bank of a little canal next to the road and I lead the returning Suckit, Mr. Poo and Horny Monkey along until messing up as we took a right into some fields. It was here that we started getting wet feet and realised that Chuck Wao really wouldn’t have enjoyed it!

It gradually got deeper until at one point it was suddenly knee deep, and we were paddling through the field – now following Horny Monkey, except for those short cutters of course. We finally hit a circle check, where a devious hare had dropped a strand of paper the other side of a small waterway, and it had us running round in circles until I finally found the trail heading back through the flooded field.

Just after the next circle, the co-hare was spotted hiding in the trees, and then there was a very well placed circle – which didn’t fox the FRBs as most of them just plunged across the river to the roads. Straight along the road and there was the On-In. A short 3km run, but it was still kinda fun especially with the water features – just a shame Chuck Wao wasn’t there to enjoy it!

20th August – CSH3 Run – Dog Shit

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Location: 10.5km south on canal road.

Dog Shit teamed up with multiple hares (S&M Girl, Rachael and belatedly Just Cumming). The rain had turned the run site to slush, and it looked ominously like we were going to get wet. Fortunately the rains stopped and we were about to set off in the dry, even if we were sliding around in the mud.

The first V check had been destroyed by some workers, but we figured out what had gone wrong when we hit a check back. Another cross check had us all fooled as we were convinced we would be heading to the right and into the mountains – instead Doggie had taken us left and kept us on the flat ground through some orchards.

The pace was high and the runners rejoined the wimps as they came out of their short cut with a long finish along the road we drove in on. Chuck Wao was determined and sprinted up the hill at the finish to the oversized ONIN.  It was a nice run, well laid with plenty enough to confuse us.

17th May – Seamen Soars Run

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One thing I will say, Seaman Soars always puts plenty of effort into setting a run, and today was no different. Nonetheless, he was given plenty of grief as the hashers arrived. The friendly welcome party of waving Thai soldiers didn’t quite make up for the lack of A bucket sign – plus of course Semen Soars should have stopped the rain! Fortunately the rain did stop and we were set off with the instruction that it was A->B.

And so we were off into familiar ground at the end of Huay Tung Thao lake. Pretty much everyone has run here, and pretty much everyone has scouted to find out where the army base is and where not to go. So when the first circle came up, nobody really wanted to check right, as surely that didn’t go anywhere we wouldn’t get shot at? But right it was, and the army base loomed. At this point the army escort at the start began to make more sense – and when the army patrol fishing on the reservoir simply waved and smiled, rather than shooting us, things were looking up. Fresh trails that I certainly haven’t hashed before.

And there were some great trails – so much that even Kwazi lifted his demeanor and enjoyed it. After the reservoir Chuck Wao inadvertently ‘short cutted’ by finding some trail a bit ahead and missing a few hundred metres of trail. HRA set off in pursuit and managed to follow along around 100m behind Chuck Wao – which meant that as Chuck Wao got every check right, HRA was in the right position to kick it out behind him, so as Mr. Poo, Sloppy Rod and I trundled along another 100m back, it turned into a straight run. (With it being an A->B run it was pretty much a straight line through the army camp).

The route gave us some interesting insight into the army training facilities, including a run through an assault course. HRA couldn’t resist the monkey bars! The trail was doing well until for some strange reason the hare sent us along nearly 2km of bitumen to a randomly chosen place for the songthaew to wait for us. We overruled the hare and took the songthaew back to save the stragglers from needing to suffer the bitumen. Afterall, due to the ‘national holiday’ and being an army camp, there was no beer waiting for us in the truck! Around 7-7.5km made it a good test, and a fun run in an area I don’t know if we will run again for a while.

The friendly army escort took us back to the cars, but didn’t stay for the circle. Colonel Cornhole somehow lost his keys – he left them with the hare, who left them with Ulrich, who managed to drop them somewhere along the way – fortunately Dyke Converter saved the day – and it was splashed repeatedly through the circle. My overall verdict is a good run, some good trails, it just could have done with some more checks!