By Alice
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Stick to the facts. A good reporter sticks to the facts.
Fact 1: I was so looking forward to my first hash back.
Fact 2: Coming Slow had no eyes in the cab so we missed the turn and were 20 mins late.
Fact 3: The self drivers waited for us.
Fact 4: Hare brief said trail laid on decent sized squares of white paper with some Vs after circles and false trails and check backs may be unduly long.
Fact 5: Trail was laid with some white squares, ripped half and quarter squares.
Fact 6: Moderate to severe paper shortage in Mae Jo area.
Fact 7: FRBs Chucky, Poo, TMB, even Alice, KO and Anywan frequently return from checking only for others to eventually find scraps of paper 150-200-250m down the same paths.
Fact 8: First 4 km is on undulating trails, second 4km on concrete roads.
Fact 9: Many hashers use technology to find way back as frustration turns to exasperation.
Fact 10: Alice had 8.3km and sore hips and knees from the concrete roads.
Fact 11: Hare Dick the Boy Wonder had been drinking since 7am.
Fact 12: Hares who drink from 7am appear unable to respond appropriately to facial clues (bored, long even angry faces), verbal (Short circle is a good circle, Anytime before midnight etc) hints and physical demonstrations (people walking away, driving off or ChuckWao lying on the floor and going to sleep).
Fact 13: Alice has never seen a cuter baby than 5 month old Nicole, daughter of Made and DTBW.
Fact 14: Alice wonders about splashing the hare by suggesting a DNA test for paternity of the beautiful little bundle.
Fact 15: Alice gives up caring as it’s way past his bedtime as the circle continues towards the witching hour.
Fact 16: 250THB for a home cooked feast with noodles, papaya salad, pork, black chicken and fish, with corn, dark green lettuce and pineapple.
Fact 17: Cuckold via Chuck Wao repays Does Nothing and ABB.
Fact 18: Cabbage Patch thinks it’s clever to borrow money and not pay back.
Fact 19: Alice gets Cabbage to pay for his supper and promises to pay him back.
Fact 20: Alice predicts the tone of TMB’s Whatsapp message this morning.