17th November – CH4 – Pigshit

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Rating: 8.5/10 (2 votes cast)

Piggy teamed with Sheep Shagger for the HAPPY hash! So happy to get out of work, I must be more thankful for the joys that life bestows upon me! A familiar runsite at the back of Doi Kham – for some reason BigTop thought it would be sensible to run to the runsite from town… huh? Don’t we do the running bit of the hash while we are, well doing the running part of the hash?!? The harebrief gave away a few clues – first we would be going up a different hill to last time, and second, we should probably only do the wimp trail… Piggy, piggy piggy…? Oink, oink, oink.

By now the reader should be feeling the positive cheerfulness in the tone of my writing, as I skipped off towards the start of the trail like a easter bunny about to get that inner peace only fulfilled by giving chocolate eggs away, or the rapturous jollyness of a random drunken handjob. Who am I trying to kid? The chocolate eggs just feed an industry designed to make our kids bloated and fat with brown stains around our mouths, while the initial climax is later climaxed by shame, guilt and regret. The regret kicked in as the trail headed up the first hill! I love trail running, and we have awesome trails around Chiang Mai, but there is a certain amount of masochism that goes into pushing oneself out on the run, only to be rewarded with beer later.

We set off, and at the first opportunity the trail turned up, but having got the check wrong, Sex Pistol and I continued along the creek bed a little further before climbing up the hill to rejoin the trail. The next check went back down the hill back to the creek bed we’d just left. Excellent job hares – that check had me cursing at the time, but later in admiration. The young virgin scooted past and I had a feeling I wouldn’t see him again until the circle. Another check, and I felt the call of nature, ducking off trail behind a tree. I heard some calls from up above, and not long after found some trail. I followed for a while until it was clear it was old trail, so I headed back to the circle and the wimp rambo split. I recalled clearly Piggy’s harebrief advice and how he locked eyes with me when he said we would be better off just doing the wimp… I obliged and headed off on the wimp.

After a while I caught Belly Dancer, but was too winded from the climb to say howdy. Thankfully we turned right and I jogged back down the hill picking off walkers one by one, until finally catching ABB at the last check. Yes, he was already checking left, but I wasn’t about to go back up the hill I’d already been up sometime before, so jogged on to the OnIn…

Nice run Piggy – just about spot on for a Happy Hash!

17th November - CH4 - Pigshit, 8.5 out of 10 based on 2 ratings