10th June – CSH3 – Mr. Poo

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Rating: 8.3/10 (3 votes cast)

Drove to the end of the canal road looking forward to a Mr. Poo special, only to find that power crazy Knock Out had locked him up in the sauna, stolen his paper and usurped him. The hare brief was heavy on thoughts about Poo, and light on information about the trail! We were pointed off and the run was started. Graven would have hated the first check – within yards from the A site – “Checks are there to bring the pack together”, but this just separated us from the start. I went back through the A, but the hare blocked me. At the next check a kindly monk pointed me in the right direction and we headed for the forest.

At the corner of the wall, I turned left, expecting from this runsite to use more of the forest behind the temple, and was surprised how slow it was called. I was wrong, and back at the back of the pack. Hash style! I picked a casual pace as I tried to get back into the pack. At the next few checks I got to the check as they were called, so could just focus on following the FRBs. Then there was a call to the right and I decided to try and chase down Spitz Spunk and his virgin. It was gently downhill, but they were putting some pace in – even though the virgin was carrying a complete survival pack – probably 30kg, tent? overnight kit? WTF?!

At the next check Spitz was spitting, but the virgin was full of energy. Luckily for CW and I, the harebrief had given no clues about hash etiquette, so the pair of them headed straight on for some alone time in the forest. We turned left and sure enough found paper. Another check and I went right, sending CW left… As soon as I’d past the check I regretted my decision – left there brings in more possibilities. Nonetheless, I found paper, and found myself at the front of the pack. Sloppy not far behind and Turkish in the mix too. From here I nailed a bunch of checks. HRA must have been there too as I remember him saying he wanted to check the way I went. I kept the pace steady.

Things were going ok, and I got to a check with Sloppy and rucksack boy right behind. It was a 95% right for me, but noted a new fence erected further blocking our hashing options. I jogged down to the next junction and on paper was joined by rucksack boy. Bear in mind the guy is carrying 30k plus – this isn’t the same league as Sheep Shagger’s rock foraging and it isn’t the same as Pigshit’s crazy back strengthening regime, this is 30kg for the sake of it. “I like punishment” he says…

It was 50/50… Probably we were on roads from here, but there was a chance of some trail if it went right. I sent him left, and went right. I checked 100m+ and then around to the right – nothing… and then around to the left… nothing…. HRA was sure it must be there somewhere… I turned back as there was no call from the left, only to see rucksack boy! I said “Didn’t you check the other way?”, he said “Yes!”, I said “Did you find paper?”, he said “Yes!”, I said, “WHAT THE FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK FUCK!” but I may have used more expletives. It was about then that Sloppy called from several hundred meters away. I was way back, way, way back. I was so tempted to just cut down to the trail, but took my punishment and grumbled my way back to the check and rucksack boy just sprinted off.

It was pretty flat, and pretty obvious from here, we just had to get back, but I was too far back to get back into it. Within moments of getting back to the A bucket, the circle was being called… In case of rain? Well where was the shelter?! Thanks KO for stepping up and filling in for Poo. The run was a good workout, with checks that kept the pack turning over – and a couple of checks that foxed me.

10th June - CSH3 - Mr. Poo, 8.3 out of 10 based on 3 ratings