Category Archives: CSH3 – Saturday

It’s been awhile since I’ve been hashing, but for various reasons I ended up headed down canal road with my 11 year old son “Terror Byte” to see what HRA had in store for us. The A site was up the road past the Sameong road football field. After a hare brief we were set off up the road… Not sure why we went up the road, rather than along the trail next to the road, but nevermind! We were promised powder, but for quite some way we didn’t get any – Terror Byte was up front flirting his youthful exuberance with Knock Out. Finally powder was spotted headed off to the right.

The first check was some distance into the run, but Terrorbyte was still leading, only to gamble wrong on a 50/50 chance. It was Brownie that called on from straight on. For the diligent reader there may be moments of “proud father” emerging from this write up. Yes, Brown Finger is back, and he isn’t “Round Finger”, he’s a lean mean running machine, prone to getting checks wrong, and before too long the universe was back in order. BF came back from a false trail, which had us befuddled for a while. TMB eagerly tested to the left, someone I didn’t know tested to the right – I mostly mingled and chatted.

I regretted that moments later after the call to the right, and I was stuck in a traffic jam as we ascended a creekbed steep up the hill. (The amnestic hare later had no recollection of the number of hills he forced us up). We climbed, we clambered, and when finally there was the call of circle check from the ridge, I broke off to the right and scrambled out of the traffic. Typically, the call was to the left, and I was back in a solid pack. The checks were working nicely and we were kept together as a big group.

We looped along the edge of the ridge line, and Graven took the lead. Another circle check, and with Graven checking straight TMB went down to the right. Silence from up ahead as Poo and someone else edged their way after Graven. Brownie and I pondered for a while before deciding Graven had surely gone far enough, and set off down the hill after TMB. She was coming back up, and finally the call from Poo – have I tuned out Graven’s calls? Did he call? Deep in our hearts we know the answer.

Finally the trail broke and we came down off the mountain, but I knew we were a long way from home. So far it actually reminded me of a utter fuck up that Klaus Barber set many years back, when he apologised for where he came out of the mountain. We were a long way from home! We had to turn a sharp right, and we did. But descending out of the forest, we came down a steep bank where we could see a circle check at the bottom – Turkish ahead went to the right (No way buddy!). Given the check visible, there was a large group that took our time navigating down the hill, discussing which way it might be. Most guessed left, but I had a hunch it would be straight on to the trail back up the hill. Damnit, how many hills would we have to climb???

Sure enough Cumalot called us on from straight on. And the a false trail. Meh. Of course we had to go back over the hill, but the hare wanted us to scramble up the shitty trail, rather than going up the perfectly good trail?? I’ve lost count of how many times trail has been set scrambling up there, when there is a perfectly good trail that cuts up to the ridge, and the perfectly good trail leaves options for decent checks at the top. There is no reason to scramble up the hill… – so I didn’t. I went up the decent trail, and met Brownie at the top as he was checking from the circle at the top. Of course it was back down to the left, and I rejoined the pack – which gained Leaky Faucet and Stumbling Dyke who appeared from completely the other side of the mountain – nice short cut guys!

Unfortunately the way down the hill wasn’t really headed in the right direction, and I knew that we would have to go back up again to get home – or maybe HRA had found a road option? At the bottom of the hill another circle that brought a lot of the pack together. Near the temple, there was much confusion with many of the FRBs headed towards the road. Those that did check correctly back up the hill didn’t call enough (MR. POO – from your GPS this means you!!!) so it was a while before the rest of the pack figured it out. The trail went back into the temple and back up the hill… I remember it clearly, because my 11 year old son Terror Byte was still in the pack – I checked my GPS, 4.5km in. The hare had promised 6k, so another 1.5k at least.

Yet another hill for sure… We went back up the same hill, only to turn around and come back down again, but still not quite in the right direction. Damn you hare! Another circle check had most of the hashers going left. I figured we had to go over another hill to get back, so hacked a trail out up the hill. I was with KO, and finally the call came from Blows Herself who had taken an alternative route. The hashers descended on the call. KO decided to follow me, rather than go back to the circle – she may have regretted it as we scrambled off trail back to the pack. From there we emerged and everyone knew where they were and the next 1km or so needed to get home… Or well most did…

I caught Turkish near the OnIn and we got back together not far off the front group. I grabbed a drink and showered off… Knowing my son wasn’t far behind. I went to stand at the corner, waiting for him to come up the road… It was starting to get dark. When I checked with HRA, he didn’t have a bike. Does Nothing and some other walkers came in, saying they hadn’t seen Terror Byte… I panicked… I headed back on trail screaming my sons name, wondering where the hell he was and what had happened to him. HRA stole a bike and came to help, whizzing past me saying that we haven’t ever lost anyone yet… – that wasn’t very reassuring… I must have gone a km or so back on trail – I found the bike HRA had stolen and left, and continued to hike after him. Complete indescribable fear running through me as I screamed his name. Words don’t exist to describe the emotions; fear, anger, terror… I just wanted to be at home with my sons.

It turns out Terror Byte had met up with Stumbling Dyke and Leaky Faucet on the trail. While their first short cut had been successful, their second wasn’t quite so… Terrorbyte had made the sensible decision to stay with the adults he knew (when they decided not to follow trail), and they decided to head to the road rather than head back into the hills as the light was fading. Sensible, rational decisions by almost everyone! Matty – sensibly stayed with people he knew. SD & LF sensibly decided to stick to the road when they had the option for a safe route back… Meanwhile Daddy Byte decided to run off backwards on trail wearing flip flops, without a flashlight, randomly screaming “Matty”. At least I took my phone, but didn’t answer it when Poo tried to call me…

For a hash run, the trail was great – challenging, some good checks kept the pack together for a long time. Perhaps given the hills, it may have been a little long – afterall a pickup brought in the walkers. Perhaps consider a beerstop next time?

As I left the OnOnOn today, I was advised that perhaps I need a longer holiday…

I was late – after I left home I remembered the run start has changed, so I was 10 mins or so late getting to the start. Lungla pointed me off, but in the wrong direction, so I hunted around for paper for a while. I got to a road, and random lady on bike pointed the way she had come – presumably I was looking lost, and there were other random people in that direction. I headed the way she said, and met the hare who confirmed that it was that way and that I was shortcutting – pretty impressive short cut as I hadn’t seen any trail yet!

To the temple, and up the temple steps – a hundred or so. I caught up with Does Nothing, Always On Top and Tip Toe and remembered there are no trails on this hill.  There are no trails on this hill…  The paper was marked heading into shitty shiggy, for 2.5km. I past Foxy who was struggling with the rocks. The trail went down off the side and out into the open and I got there with Cumalot & Shagless. A circle check that wasn’t kicked out. Great! We started checking, and I found paper going back into the shiggy mess. Long grass, no trail, just hacking our way through.

Finally I got out to decent trail and caught up with Obscene, KO and Poo. Not many checks, but finally a V-check that was already torn. I tried to call Poo back as he had gone straight, but he ignored me. I went up the hill to the right and hit a FT – who the f**k kicked the check out the wrong way?!?!

Perhaps I do need a longer holiday.

At Huay Tung Thao – my old hunting ground! I figure I know all the options here, and I’ve even set a run with Chuckie here before, so shouldn’t be a problem to second guess him. Ha! The first thing I’d got wrong was which A-site he’d use – I thought he’d be up at the corner and use the trails towards the bottom of the hill, instead he used the car park at the bottom of the hill. From here we usually head up the running track a bit, but oh no – CW had something else in store and poked us through a barbed wire fence and a different way back down to the canal.

First check had to be left, and sure enough I spotted paper on the back of some trees. Setting a decent early pace I sped a few steps past the first false trail – not the last time I would see that ugly FT today. It was back and up into the cowboy farm, but a couple of FRBs milled around waiting for me to lead them up the hill – and lead them straight to another FT. Damnit! Now we were following Angry Inch through a bit of shiggy until it opened out, without a check. When we did hit a check, I was wrong, but it was difficult to find out where the call was coming from – people kept yelling “ON ON CALLED!” when stood at the circle – I know that, but which direction was it called from!? Turned out I wasn’t far away and got back to the leaders in time to screw the next check up again…

We had to be headed left, but we were in the army camp on some trails that weren’t 100% familiar. I knew roughly where we were, but it wasn’t as familiar as my original confidence. Sex Pistol was leading the way, and I finally got back to the front when she hit another one of the hare’s devious false trails. I got paper, but now we were on a trail that I definitely didn’t know – looked like a new off road quad bike trail weaving around. Another circle, and while straight seemed about the only option, I was convinced it was wrong. Weaving around a corner I was on, and had a little lead. The trail twisted back and forth like the quad bikers had been drunk and lost when they’d carved a path through the jungle. A big loop around and I came splashing back with the rest of the pack about 4m to my left. They all short cut across, every one of the lazy bastards!

Finally we got out onto a mainer trail and I knew exactly where I was, and exactly how to get home – I accelerated, and 5 steps later hit yet another false trail. MOFO! We ducked back across the running track and past the overgrown football field. Another circle check. I glanced at my watch, which was only registering 2.something?! It seemed further, but it wasn’t till I got back that I found it had somehow switched to miles rather than KM. It had to be left, so I headed to the left, but Piggy went even more left and called ONON. I stepped in behind and we started running along the nice trail that parallels the main running trail. Either Piggy kicked on a bit, or I was slowing down? The gap seemed to be growing behind me, and also in front.

When Piggy followed trail around to the left, I thought that kind of false trail wouldn’t trick me, and sure enough I finally got inside the hare’s head! I ran straight, and was back on paper, and back in the lead… I just needed to get to the corner of the running track, and then surely back down the hill for glory!!! Mother Fucking False Trail!!!! Nice work hare, nice work – I guess that is revenge for many years ago? Piggy caught back up and led the way through some shiggy to rejoin the track slightly closer to home and gleefully called ONIN! Good to see Diddly Squat making an appearance and running well at the front!

Alice teamed up with BH out in Doi Saket. Home turf for me, so after not running outside in August, I ventured out into the heat. It is nice running in aircon.

A modest crowd showed, and slightly late we were set off without the GM in sight. We scrambled to the start of the trail, and then I ran out of paper until someone spotted a circle check randomly placed on a tree to the left. I was wrong, but it was early doors so I jogged along and got another check wrong, meeting up with some dogs, before an on call to my left. I cut across and with another check I got one right headed for the Chinese graveyard. We hit a series of 50/50 V checks, but I lucked out, and was going well till I hit a FT. I came back and was still in position for the true trail.

This was a familiar area, but it wasn’t clear yet if we’d be going clockwise or anticlockwise. My hunch said to head for the road and the other half of the trail would be back on the other side of the canal, perhaps using the trail people had missed on Alice’s last run. I was right (for now), and opened up the legs to find Alice with a single can of beer to share between the pack. I carried on, and got a couple of checks right before hitting another false trail. I was impressed, they’d gone deeper to the East. The next couple of checks screwed me over – excellent work hares! One I went left when it should have been straight, the next I went straight when it should have been left! Damnit – maybe I think too much.

Sheepshagger passed at one of those checks and then Chuckie joined me. Somewhere around there the heat got to me again. I started retching. Chuckie decided not to wait, and the other FRBs past by. I tried pressing on, but eventually had to collapse. Sex Pistol and Knockout arrived and poured water over my head, and after a few minutes I started to recover. Damn this heat – I’ve got to figure out a way of coping, or its back to the treadmill.

We started heading back towards the A, and the leaders were well ahead until a sneaky last FT that screwed everyone up. For some amazing reason, nobody considered looking for trail dropping straight off the side of a fucking cliff. This wasn’t a Belly Dancer hill, this was the cliff edge of a quarry. The hares said “we’ve done worse” – mhmmm… Apparently there were trees that people could swing off. I opted out and ran around the quarry picking up trail as we crossed back over the canal and got to the OnIn a bit ahead of CW. Nice route – just get a bit more aircon next time, or some more ladies to shower me with water!

The Turk excelled himself last Saturday with an excellent set that showed would be hares the standard to aim for.
It was either Turkish or HRA who promised virgin trails in the email. What! Down Ob Khan Rd, my arse! I got to thinking – if they really are unhashed trails he’s got to go miles down and half way to Burma!
When Saturday came we headed to the empty quarter A site and then up the freshly graded and prepped road to Turkish’s A on the corner.
Ok, no virgin trails here, know the area like the back of my wanking hand. But I was interested to see what the Anatolian haberdasher would come up with.
Off we went thru an orchard and out onto a trail heading towards the hills. But would we go up or around the quarry and across the road perhaps?
At a familiar juncture we went left from a circle and up a narrow trail towards a gated property. We missed the narrow path I know up into the doi and headed towards the gate. Nice one, a sneaky almost invisible path up right onto the foothills and n
broken ground.
Having enjoyed a natter with Frozen and a brief word with Sups I push on and caught Sticky, Tiptoe, Stumbling and a few others as we ascended over rough ground towards the forest.
A check ahead and Shagless was runnjng right. Then coming back. Confusion ahead and the FRBs only 20m ahead.
So up left we went and presently popped out on the ridge trail at a familiar and popular circle site. So that’s where the path comes out! Byte ran down there on one of my runs a few years ago off paper and ended up lonely in the field below even further from paper!
Turkey took us to the next main junction. Where it had to be left, 90% chance. FMDD Chacky, Tasty and Sheepy come running back from the right as a group. Half the run and I’m up with the leaders while walking!
Up along the ridge and checks in the usual places but then an OnOn that led to no path down I knew. I told anyone who’d listen and I was right.
We all dropped off the edge of the hill and descended a treacherous gravel hillside with sparse trees for stopping falling hashers. My hip wasn’t happy at this turn of events.
At the bottom things were complicated by a. Turkish trickery B. farmer in truck pulling down paper!
From here the day caught up with Sex P and Sheepy and I caught them again and the returning Pig Shite. How would we exit the property?
Turkey took us up a well hidden path thru the woods to the round reservoir above the orchard. Well that was a clever link.
The way home was clear,but Turkey had tricks up his sleeve galore with a switchback check the wrong side of a secure looking fence and a rolling new trail through an upgraded property.
Happy to get home, hip intact and 6km under the belt. FRBs had a km more. What a belter of a run. Unusual for anyone to surprise me in an area I know pretty well with 2 or 3 devious cut throughs I’d not found or forgotten as they been blocked over time.
Welcome Adam and Savanna visitors from Utah, Anyone’s son and welcome back ol’ foul mouth herself, Blows Herself. Wings for Alice and Anyone. OnOnOn to Yummy Pizza. Eggelen.
Alice

(Courtesy Alice)

Decisions, decisions. Lanna or CSH3 hared by these glam harriettes?
KrapThai, Belly and I Got Gas doing their worst in the wilds or a sensible Saturday stroll with a bad hip for company? That took about 2 seconds to decide!

So on the songthao to Pamela and GG’s opulent mansion. How the other half live eh!
Hey, Horny Monkey was there looking trim and well and Robert the Spurs man.
Alice set off 5 min after the pack as he searched in vain for his missing iPhone holder. I could hear shouts but couldn’t find paper as I exited Geisha’s rear entrance.

Into the sparse forest and across the road went the trail. I was miles behind just following paper alone. An instructive experience.
Once into the forest for real the paths went gently up and the trees hemmed in. Greenery all around, stony paths, clear paper markings and circles and Vs already done. Forest silence apart from the birds and the crunch of footfall. What more could a man ask for? Chilly Pussy and SweetPea off trail and rooting. For mushrooms.

After 2 plus Km I spy Robert walking back against trail -strange – then ducking down a cut back path. Confused I yell RU? He quickens his pace then runs away with Anyone in yellow top appearing to lead him deep into the forest off trail. Wtf, he may lose his spotless reputation. Plus it looked like an insider’s short cut. It was.

Suddenly paper after 120m at the bottom of a hill and Musk Rat and ABB bouncing down from my left. I was mid pack and surrounded by humanity, poor excuses of it, but I was back in the mix.

Trail twisted and wound through the forested hills, I met Sups and SB here, then out behind the Night Safari and the longish flat asphalt yomp home, my Decathlon trainer squeaking along with ABB’s just behind me.

Strangely the girls had ‘forgotten’ to place ANY checks for the last 2.5Km. Someone suggested they’d been chatting and as we know women can’t multi task so…
All in, a lovely route and well papered, overpapered in sections, where half a dozen strips marked the same number of meters. What was going on? We’ll never know but it was a top trail to hike.
Many thanks to the three hare ladies and Pamela and Geisha for graciously hosting. Chacky and Tasty stole the wings by common consent and the rain gods showed their righteous disapproval.
On on, Alice

This pairing have hared together before and I remember gruelling punishment. This was an outstation, so I was wondering whether they had learnt from previous comments?! We were up in Chiangrai, at a great resort – much better than recent outstations! It was sweltering! I have a habit of getting ready and setting off for the hash at 4pm, and did so even though it meant walking 100m to the hare’s cabin. I sat down in the shade for 15 mins, but was drenched in sweat – we hadn’t even started the exercise yet, it was so humid, in a pre-storm kind of way. I went back for a pre-run shower.

Finally we were set off and I jogged off with Chuckie – as we were hares for the hangover run, we were aware of the start of the run, but only the first check. I promptly got the 2nd one wrong and a group including HRA, Obscene and Just Cumming was formed. Time for a false trail before the first wimp/rambo split. I picked rambo and led the pack down through a tree plantation – rubber? teak? I heard different opinions. Another check and HRA found the trail just about the same time I saw some paper just ahead of me too. Turns out my paper was from a check back at a later V, which I promptly also got wrong.

HRA was setting the pace as we went through a stretch without checks and rejoined the wimps, who by now were ahead. Just Cumming was running well, and CW took off to chase them down. I past the trail of walkers and for a moment forgot about the heat as I tried to get back with the runners. Finally a beer stop and we regrouped. A circle check had the FRBs exploring all over. I poured cold water on my head in the hope of cooling down. It wasn’t working. I ambled along the street a little and then spied a flash of white up a steep steep cliff. Man that was a climb – just the 100m to the paper. I called “ONON”, and made it another few steps before vomiting, and collapsing in a patch of shade. Damnit, I can’t deal with the heat… :'(

Everyone passed me by and reluctantly I gave up and went back down to the beer stop. I was told it was also the 2nd wimp/rambo, but the hares had already set off the ladies and Shagless up the hill. I walked back along the road, and met up with Sups and Burrito Butt. Not much further there was a 2nd beer stop where the runners would come off the mountain. No sign of the runners, but the trail where they would emerge looked as steep as they way up. I walked on back on trail, and CW finally caught me just before the ONIN. He was fuming about the hill! It seems the hill didn’t go down well at all – from what I heard it was hands and knees scrambling up under bamboo, with no trail in sight. I haven’t heard HRA curse as much as he did when he came in delivering a tirade of “FUCKS” and “EVIL”.

I am thankful I ended up missing the worst bit, because most of what I did was quite pleasant!

(Courtesy Alice)

Birthday girl Always on Top and co hare-cum-paperboy Does Nothing set a bijoux 6 km hash run out in the wilds of Mae Jo from the dam just past the Tiger Head.
In damp conditions, the colorful pack started off downhill to the left into the forest. Returnee TMB led the way with Sex Pistol, Sheep Shagger, Turkey, Knockout and HRA in the van. After five minutes and a check or two we came out by the famed Tiger Head. I eyeballed the fearsome beast – but enough of ABB I hear you cry.
Trail headed right into the forest and we paralleled the road. A series of checks had us guessing. Each check had three options and I was waiting for the right turn further into the forest and stupidly advised KO so.
Straightaway On was called to the left and we skiddadled down the road and headed left towards the weir. BMY put a check here once that cost me dear. It had to be right and across the now watery concrete weir. It was. Wet shoes, wet concrete and slime made a hard job of getting up the other side for a few of us. Turk assisted me and in turn I, Cumalot (despite her Man U socks) and Obscene.
HRA simply let out a bellow charging up the slope and left his family to their fate. Sadly I forgot that indiscretion come circle time.
We were on muddy trails going anti clockwise and my ankle decided to give way twice. Then I went down after tripping on a root. Next misadventure was checking bravely along a down-trodden path into a horridly overgrown but possible field. Those guarding the circle ran off after the far On On call and left me without yelling for me to hear. I know you you are and I won’t forget it.
Trail dipped into thicker forest and turned left onto familiar trails. ABB had used these recently although not with as much visible white paper.
A sharp left and we were rolling homeward on a long stretch of sodden red gravel and clay. Just Coming and the Turk were ahead of me, ABB behind. Glimpses of pink and yellow told me TMB and Sexy were powering home. The long stretch turned to blacktop and a rise up to the dam.
Strava told me well marked 6.1km and TMB had an extra .5km from her checking efforts. The pack ambled home in short order compared to some recent runs, that’s what clear paper does for mid and back pack runners and riders.
Well done AOT for a decent set in known territory, an eminently followable trail with well placed visible circles and Vs.
Somehow HRA and Doesn’t Get It got the wings. The UNCHR will be alerted to the terrible miscarriage of justice.
OnOnOn gratis buffet at Euro Diner courtesy of the hares was absolutely fabio and very much appreciated. On on, Alice

Sex Pistol teamed up with Sheep Shagger, but he didn’t want anything to do with the run, denying any responsibility! The disco shelter stinks these days, the muddy entrance and surroundings becoming a trash dump, who knows what the mattress in the corner has been used for! At least we were protected if it rained, although rain earlier in the day had turned the approach into slush.

We set off and most of us had already seen the first circle, as we’d parked on the road and turned our cars right by it. CW and I discussed this, and neither of us had carried on along the road to look for paper. I wasn’t sure where he was going with that, because surely he could also see the paper dangling in the distance? Apparently not, as I was the only one who carried on along the road. I got the next check right as well – I suspect the wind and rain probably moved the discretely hidden paper and made it more visible. Straight along the road, how much further? Another check, just after the junction, so of course I went back and there was trail finally heading off the road towards the hills.

The checks were coming thick and fast, but I was still going well. A circle leading towards a false trail that I should have seen coming. I chased back to the front in time for the next circle. Possibilities to the right, but I pegged straight up to a strange V check. There was a natural V in the trails (hmmm… are trails really natural?) – but the V wasn’t there, instead it had one option going up a nice trail, and another option going straight up the side of a shiggy, shitty hill. I didn’t fancy that, but going straight I finally found a checkback stuck vertically on the back of a tree – wtf??? Back to haring school!

Instead of using the nice trail up the hill, we were forced into a shitty, shiggy scramble over steep, rocky, overgrown terrain. It wasn’t fun. The rains made it slippier, and ugh! We leveled off and then headed back down the otherside to the left – no trails, just a blind hack through. Back down the bottom, in a river bed there was another check, and a group decided to just stand and loiter while others started to scatter. I checked the wrong way twice before Chuckie called it from just up the gully. Again we went into another scramble climb – seriously the hares had done an impressive job of missing trails. These hills are crisscrossed all over with great running trails, but we were just hacking around and around, and up and up.

I walked, rapidly losing interest. Finally we hit trail for a short while and I could run for a bit, and caught up to the pack at a circle on the ridge line. There were a few calls of checking, but I was way behind Chuckie, surely he would have found it by now. There was no paper hanging at the circle, so where had it been laid? Nope, Tainted Turd was guarding the check and letting everyone else do the work. I started making my way towards where there is a concealed trail off to the left, and just as I got to hanging off the hill there was an ON call from right at the circle. FS! If you get to a circle, LEAVE THE PAPER THERE!!! Go and check, if you find the trail call ONON and someone else will lay the paper for you – that isn’t your job! You don’t have to find trail and lay the paper! It is a team game! Definitely don’t take the paper to go checking and then go back to the check when you find the trail, because then everyone else has to go even further checking in the wrong direction. Surely the hare brief doesn’t have to cover common sense?

Somehow I was back in the mix, with the pack back together. I ran out of the hill to another circle with TT right on my tail. I turned right, and within 30m wished I hadn’t. I knew where I was, and would hit the out trail, but I’d picked that option, so I had to run it out while TT did the other way. Except he didn’t. After going 120m or so the wrong way, I turned back to see him still just stood at the check, and heard him calling “ARE YOU?”. What the fuck was he waiting for? I lost it, to hell with this shitty trail and to hell with putting effort in. Next time maybe we all just sit and wait at the circle for someone else to solve it for us. I jogged back up to the circle, and saw the pack scrambling (again) up a steep back, and thought, screw this, I’m going back. Why do I do this again?

Oh Canada! We showed up down at Shagless’s love cabin way down the canal road for a Canada themed run. Happy Birthday Canada. The hare brief wasn’t, but finally we were set off into a lamyai orchard behind the house. Sex Pistol called the first piece of paper, and then was lost. I spotted the 2nd piece, but then was lost. Turkish got the 3rd, but then was lost. It wasn’t easy until Obscene hit the front and perhaps his lower angle let him see under the trees for a bit. Finally when it opened out a bit I ran on to the first check. I doubted it would be right – the hares had been giving clues away with their arm movements during the harebrief, plus we’d driven in closeby. I turned left… After 90m or so I thought I could see something up at the junction, so continued to around 130m, and sure enough there was one marking. One marking and nothing else…

I didn’t call, but had a look to the left, nothing, to the right, nothing… HRA came up and called the rest of the pack over. I wasn’t sure if we’d short cut, and we carried on looking around. Finally Turkish found the red and white paper the other side of the klong to the left. He was off! For about 10m before again we were hunting around. Nada. Finally the hares appeared on a bike back at the junction. A variety of arm gestures gave us a hint, and after 300m or so running off paper I finally found a pile of screwed up markings in the bushes next to the trail. Sabotage!

At least we were back on track, but doubting ourselves after the early markings. We could have done with more paper, but perhaps someone living nearby liked cleaning up? Another check and I went straight on. 100m, nothing… But that didn’t necessarily mean anything. There had been a canal on the right, so it was likely to be left, and the trail I was on bent around to the left, and then hit a road. I turned left doing a big loop around. Turned left into a field, and then finally thought I could see something in the distance to the right. People were calling from all over, lots of confusion as we were all still checking. I intercepted trail and headed backwards until I saw some hashers. I’d gone the long way around, but the pack was back on track. Moments later again we were “Looking” as we went through some Lamyai trees abruptly switching directions.

Finally out of the farmland and into an abandoned moobaan. I hit a circle check with Sex Pistol not far behind. This was definitely a classic ABB ‘back check’, and sure enough Sex Pistol and I were back on trail. Around a corner and another check. So many options this time, but I picked straight, left, right and there was paper. Onwards and around to the left another circle. The check was drawing me towards the left, but I had time on my hands so went back to the junction to go straight and sure enough more paper! More paper leading to a farmer and his wife who begged me to be quiet as we passed a herd of buffalo resting in a shelter to the right. The pack moved to hand gestures rather than calling for a while as we past by only to find another circle just yards from the beasts!

Silently we checked and finally Knock Out called us on and she was leading the way with Obscene as we crossed a creek with Shagless’s DIY rope swing. The GM and the youngster were running ahead as a team. At junctions they were sticking together, at the next check they stuck together, and when they found paper they stuck together, silently… Devious, but we could all see what they were doing. Another check and then I spotted the hares stood in the distance. The GM of course ignored the trail and short cut (along with Obscene dutifully following). She also ignored the beer stop! WTF??? What kind of an example is that for the GM to set? Free beer, but your racist spirit got the better of you?!

I continued with Sheep Shagger for a while following the front two and we had another dodgy crossing to pass, before going round in circles at the crematorium. We were surely getting close to home but again we ran out of paper. A good 150m with nothing, but I was the lucky one that picked up trail to the right. On to a lake, and as we passed a junction I spotted paper off to the left and figured I’d go take a look. 2 sides of a lake are much the same, and I went back to rejoin the pack. One more dodgy crossing and finally the OnIn. Nice job hares, shame someone messed with your trail.