15th March – CH4 – Taste My Buns

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Rating: 6.5/10 (4 votes cast)

By Alice:

There’s dark forces at work I say. First the email announcing the Happy hash hared by TMB and Foxy Cleo. Then the website announces TMB will be assisted by Brownfinger. Have evil spirits invaded the supercomputer at CM Hash HQ? I wonder. Quite possibly I muse as 45 minutes before the run I’m enjoying a latte at Dutch Farm. And not enjoying spitting it out as I recall Cartoon’s dreadful joke about Poo, KO and the prize bull!

Suddenly a phone rings. Some bastard ruins my latter reverie. FMDD it’s my phone!
Hello, is that Alice? intones an edumacated Anglo-Scottish accent.
There doesn’t seem to be a sign on the turn from the 118 towards Country Cabin….
Hello HRA, that’s probably because we’re in SanKampeng today and Doi Saket is Saturday and I don’t set HHH signs 2 days in advance!
Much harrumphing and wonderment. Lucky you forgot about the 5pm run start too H! At least you had good time to scoot over to SKP!

Having been poorly I turned up for new territory and a nice walk. I got both, apart from the first km which was Tarmac down the hill away from the A and then stony forest trail back up the hill 30m above the road.

Trail was well marked in small playing card sized white paper. There were loops and switchbacks often tight, which meant a cunning perambulator had a chance to catch up, keep up and even take the lead after about 4 checks. We’d got to a V on the side of a forested hill. Hashers were going in all directions for some reason. I stood with Happy Ending at the V and we could see a circle 150m up to our right. Why Does Nothing and his crew chose left, why Angry ran away from the circle, only a full frontal lobe analysis would reveal.

I yomped up past the circle on the only obvious trail to find….paper 100m further on. Browny caught up here and I think Chucky. At the next check, a vision appeared like Bealzebub risen from the darkness of Hell. A vision that hadn’t been present at the hare brief and was now front and centre, but looking sheepish and keeping quiet. Red cap, small horns, hairy legs but no trident: the Turk! HTF had that happened?

Onwards to a concealed beer stop on the canal side as we exited the forest after a descent. I saw a group ahead so checked right and back in the woods. Little did I know they were standing about drinking.

Over the canal in last place and over the opposite ank and down into the Shiggy. If the FRBs looped around in a big anti clockwise circle I could possibly rejoin the pack. Way across a vast rice field I see coloured shirts. Result! Crossing the deep shiggy with hidden stream then 200m of humid, insect infested rice paddy was my reward.

I was walking fairly well and ahead of half the pack. At the famed Spider Check I followed PiPi and his girl who walked through a bar to short cut to potential trail just as Cartoon had doe minutes previously. We got our feet wet there in boggy ground and crossed a bridge that had seen better days. The main beams were strong but much of the wood was rotten or absent. Where’s Doggie and Byte when you need them?

Somewhere here I lost my sunnies and suddenly we were into forest following pink from a FT check up right. A cute loop on a walkway over a small loop was avoided as I saw the fleet footedShagless circle around to the same side. Up a ramp and voila, the A site again. Just over 4 for me, perfect for a sick puppy.

Like the Scarlet Pimpernel, Turkish was nowhere to be seen, having been ordered off the premises by TMB for fcuking up her third run in a row. Apparently he’d turned up late and ignored hare’s orders to follow paper right and loop round to catch the pack, only 5 minutes ahead. As if. Turkish had obviously gone left, scaled the 20m rock face and made his own way to intersect trail from below just infront of the FRBs. But orders are orders and he disobeyed his.

15th March - CH4 - Taste My Buns, 6.5 out of 10 based on 4 ratings