1st Feb – CH4 – Blows Herself

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CH4 Blows and Alice 1/2/18

As hare – it paper boy – you have enough responsibility scouting, signing, setting, trying to keep Blows from er blowing up, and and and…but today what went on, unknown during and after the hash, was far, far worse than what we had that were known. Excuse my Rumsfeld moment.

Pays By The Inch Ubered it to the hash but didn’t understand the HHH signage – is she related to Frozen and Ben Dover? She didn’t realize what the arrow means. Ooooow!

So it’s getting near 4:30, she jumps out and runs up and down to and from the Grand Canton for 2km till she locates the A site. Spot the mistake.

She slings her bumbag in the songthao and takes off after the pack at 4:50 approximately. Crucially she neglects to tell LungLa she is here and leaves her phone in the said bumbag. Spot the compounding errors.

She follows paper successfully for the most part. Alas her understanding of V’s extends to ignoring connecting paper breadcrumbs and running the check back route every time because it’s torn out that way.

After an hour of running almost every check back and false trail – there were four I think – putting totally unnecessary mileage on the run and not catching up even with walkers, she eventually located the ravine off the last FT in the forest and makes her way down this tricky gulley in fast fading light to the circle check in the stream bed below.

She mills around here, unable to see or locate paper on the ground. BH says it was there but maybe it was just too dark by now.

Night closes in, she is nervous, worried and very alone. She turns off her Strava to save her watch battery and somehow navigates a trail out of the deep, dark forest. Her route will forever remain a mystery as there was no Strava record.

She follows the trail, hears a far motorbike and comes thru the farmlands to a property. It’s already around 7 pm. They point her in the direction of a guy on a scooter and she runs with him – for some reason – down to the Grand Canyon road. A half click later she’s back at the empty A in the dark at 7:30pm. 2:40 after starting her ill advised jaunt. She walks to Canal Rd and somehow gets transport home to Nimman area. Fuck my dead dog.

Meanwhile, the second songthao with LungLa stops at the lights on Canal Rd by Alice’s scooter. Cameltoe jumps out and hands this mystery bumbag to Blows, with instructions to give to the hot Korean chic Suckit brought to the run.

Suckit and his guests go home, not Yummy. Blows Herself refuses to look inside the bumbag for reasons too fucked up to waste any time on. Eventually someone with half a wit does and yes, it’s a Korean phone and a Korean credit card. OK. Can contact Suckit and and and.
Hold on a mo, Cumalot and Poo work out its PBTI phone and plastic. Wtf? She wasn’t at the run – oh yes she was! We try to work out when she’d left it on the songthao. Monday Bunny? Saturday CSH?

Her number is called but of course the mob in her bag just rings. Eventually Poo makes contact with her and parts of the tale spill out.
Alice and BH promise to reunite her and bumbag at Euro later on and we meet her and bf Brian.

She’s been thru a lot that evening – recrims and make up with bf notwithstanding – and she buys us a drink.

The details reveal themselves and Alice admits incredulity. How she got out safely from the circle in the forest in the dark, off paper trail she thinks, will forever be a mystery as the Strava was off.

So she was all alone on trail for 2 hours plus totally unknown to anyone….

Don’t try this at home folks!

Back to the run. After 7+ km Cameltoe was the ‘winner’ with Browny and Piggy in hot pursuit. Foxy and Bendover were the fastest walkers in over the 4.5km.
Frozen admits to running a hybrid trail – I think I know what that probably means and involves but he made it back – last!

I need a lie down.

1st Feb - CH4 - Blows Herself, 8.0 out of 10 based on 1 rating